11.30.06

Who Says Homeland Security Has No Sense Of Humor?

Posted in Baseball, Total Fucking Terror at 6:33 pm by

(pic taken from Telstar Logistics’ Flickr page, link swiped from Boing Boing.net)

The next time we hear about the crap quality of the modern wood bat, just remember that Louisville Slugger is wasting valuable sticks on dubious works of conceptual art.

Mike Mussina would like it known the same point could just as easily have been made with an aluminum bat.

Slow Week For Sports News : 3rd Val Kimer Reference In 72 Hours

Posted in Cinema, The Marketplace, The World Of Entertainment at 4:29 pm by

Radar Online (link swiped from Defamer) on Val Kilmer’s Paul Newman-esque line of organic foodstuffs.

In Kilmer’s case, the revenue would be earmarked not for charities but to support his lavish lifestyle. “It will all be 100 percent organic, 100 percent profit,” he says. “Here’s why: I like my GTO convertible. And if you’ve got a vintage car, you’ve got upkeep. I have two gorgeous children. My son’s school costs more per year than my four years at Juilliard, plus rent and airfare back and forth.”

I can sympathize. So much so, that after David Pinto gets his cut from CSTB’s advertising revenues, I’m going to send an additional 5% to Val.  Based on the video evidence below, he needs the money far more than I do.

Urban On Dunleavy At The Crossroads

Posted in Basketball at 2:38 pm by

The Examiner’s Mychael Urban submits that Don Nelson’s 2nd tour of duty as Warriors coach will have one of two results for Mike Dunleavy, “with Dunleavy either having finally validated the Warriors™ decision to make him the No. 3 overall draft pick in 2002, or with him having made Chris Mullin look like a fool for giving him a five-year, $44 million contract extension last fall.”

(AP photo by Dino Vournas, SF Chronicle, 10/04/04)

Dunleavy, despite a combination of size and all-court skills that seem to scream NBA success, did very little in his first four seasons in the league. In fact, his greatest contribution to the basketball world over that time was in adding fuel to the fire of every Duke hater who likes to point out ” with plenty of supporting evidence ” that Blue Devils coach Mike Krzyzewski runs a system that almost never produces a four-year player who can thrive at the next level.

Nellie™s run-run-run system, designed to create and exploit mismatches all over the floor, is built for multi-dimensional players like Dunleavy. So it™s possible that, with time, Dunleavy will flourish in this system and develop into a star worthy of his lofty draft status.

If that happens, he™ll either be a valued contributor here for a long time, or he™ll be shipped out at the February trade deadline while his value is high enough for a one-complementary-piece-away contender to willingly take on his salary.

If it doesn™t happen, Dunleavy will be here a long time ” or at least until the Nellie Era II ends ” without contributing, because (a) Nellie doesn™t dole out playing time based on cap figures (right, Adonal Foyle?) and (b) no team will want a seemingly prototypical œNellie player who can™t actually play for Nellie.

The Association’s Craig Kwasniewski would prefer to “wait until AK-47 and Boozer put in 30 games before we count the Jazz as contenders,” surely a reasonable stance. But 13 double doubles in 16 games isn’t what anyone expected from the previously statuesque Carlos.

Gilbert Arenas writes that he and Adam Morrison hung out all night playing video games. Anytime Agent Zero wants to keep that kind of thing private, it’s ok with me.

The New York Daily News’ Frank Isola
, along with mentioning that Steve Franchise expects Nate Robinson to carry his bags, pays homage to the Knicks’ Quentin Richardson.

Eddy Curry and Jamal Crawford look up to Richardson because he is an unselfish, tough-nosed player who doesn™t make excuses and actually cares whether the team wins or loses. It™s all about having credibility and nights like last night when Richardson out-plays a superstar like LeBron James, he earns the respect of all his teammates.

The dilemma the Knicks now face is when Jared Jeffries returns from right wrist surgery in three to four weeks. Jeffries is a good defender and can handle the ball on the perimeter. However, Jeffries is not an accomplished shooter and one of Richardson™s strengths is that he stretches the defense because of his ability to shoot threes.

Unless Thomas is thinking about using the weak rebounding Jeffries at power forward, the best move would be to keep Richardson as a starter and bring Jeffries off the bench.

Plenty of (lousy) seats available for December and January Knicks games at MSG, $10 each.

Ever wondered what former Hoosier PG Isiah Thomas and his old Indiana coach Bobby Knight might talk about if they got back together? Me neither, but the conversation would probably go something like this.

The National Female-Friendly League

Posted in Gridiron at 1:46 pm by

From Reuters’ Michele Gershberg :

Market research conducted by the NFL found that women sports fans want marketing addressed to their interests but don’t want to feel like they are being treated differently from men, Goodell told the Reuters Media Summit in New York.”It’s a very big initiative,” he said. “(Women) fans want to be treated as real fans because they love the game and they understand the game and they want to have the opportunity to experience the game just as anyone else does.”

Leave The Man Alone’s Head Chick In Charge welcomes Goodall’s sentiments, and has a number of suggestions, amongst them, “Give Us A Little Eye Candy”.

If the NFL is going to shamelessly stick their cameras up cheerleader’s skirts, then they can make sure the women have a little something to look at too. I don’t want a bunch of Tony Reali clones, but this can range from just making sure the male on-air talent looks their best all the way to giving the ladies a few shots of the guns and some close-ups of the handsome guys.

H.C.I.C., if it is eye candy you want, eye candy you shall receive.  CSTB is all about giving the lady humans what they want.

Red Sox Sign Okajima

Posted in Baseball at 1:26 pm by

From the Boston Herald’s Michael Silverman and Tony Massarotti.

The Red Sox have signed Japanese relief pitcher Hideki Okajima to a two-year contract with an option for the 2009 season.

Okajima, who will turn 31 on Christmas, is a 12-year veteran of Nippon Professional Baseball. He has been a quality setup man in the Japanese leagues, playing 11 years for the Yomiuri Giants and last season for the Nippon Ham Fighters.

Last season, Okajima went 2-2 with a career-best 2.14 ERA in 55 appearances for the Ham Fighters. In his career, he is 34-32 with a 3.36 ERA. He has pitched 642 innings in 439 games, recording 41 saves while striking out 681.

Although primarily used as a set-up man, Okajima did save 25 games for the Giants in 2001. That year he appeared in 58 games, striking out 70 in 62 innings of work. The year before, he struck out 102 in 72.1 innings.

Though not said to be a hard thrower, the word is that Okakjima has a devastating curveball.

Boston has also signed the 178th Scrappiest Human Alive, Super Joe McEwing (above) to a minor league contract.  Having watched Joe’s heroics for the Round Rock Express this past season, I can say to the people of Pawtucket with full confidence…you’re a very short drive from Providence.

I don’t spend a lot of time trying to find nice things to write about Derek Jeter, but I’ll give the Captain a little bit of credit : I’ve not read any complaints from the Yankee shortstop that he was jobbed out of the MVP Award.  If Prince Albert can’t take some solace in a measly World Series ring, he might want to consider how close the Cards came to missing the playoffs altogether.

The New York Daily News’ Adam Rubin spoke
with Tom Glavine’s agent Greg Clifton, who claims the Braves have yet to make a bona fide offer to his client.  Clifton says Atlanta’s hesitancy is making a Glavine return to Flushing more likely, and at the risk of imitating Steve Keane, make up your fucking mind, already.

The Importance Of Staying On Your Web Hosting Company’s Good Side

Posted in Baseball, The Internet at 11:18 am by

Please note that the Dow rose 90 points, or nearly three-quarters of a percent yesterday. This can’t be a coincidence.  (thanks to Repoz for the heads up)

Sharper Laying In Wait For ReX-Rated Grossman

Posted in Gridiron at 10:39 am by

(funny, the sort of things that pop up when you type “wild, cocky, brash QB” into Google image search)

C’mon, why won’t anyone just tell us exactly what Rex Grossman said to the Vikings’ Darren Sharper? The Chicago Sun-Times’ Bradd Biggs, despite doing such great work for Slash Records years ago, totally falls down on the job.

”I’ve never had a quarterback say the things he said, and I’ve been playing 10 years,” Vikings strong safety Darren Sharper said Wednesday of the September meeting at the Metrodome in which Grossman threw a game-winning touchdown pass to Rashied Davis with 1:53 to play. ”I’ve gone against some wild, cocky, brash quarterbacks. I felt like he stepped over the line a little bit.”

‘He was running his mouth pretty much the whole game, and especially when he threw that last touchdown. He came over and said some things to my fellow safety and a couple of our defensive players. … It’s one of those X-rated things where I can’t say it.”

”When we finally got the touchdown pass, I probably went overboard a little bit with some of my emotions, some of the things I said,” Grossman said. ”But it was in that moment.

”I never talk trash. You don’t want to get them pumped up. But at that point … maybe that was the only situation where I could let it go. It was pissing me off. I couldn’t help but say something.”

It’s Round 2 of bad blood for the division rivals. Bears center Olin Kreutz shot back at Vikings defensive tackle Pat Williams last season before the teams’ second meeting. Williams had called Kreutz a ”joke,” and his agent suggested Kreutz had blackballed his client in Pro Bowl balloting. Kreutz replied by labeling Williams a ”fat slob.”

Because The Mazilli Bar Never Made It Out Of R&D

Posted in Baseball at 1:27 am by

The consistently solid No Mas — the folks responsible for the no. 1 blog headline of 2006, “Claire Huxtable, You Are So Fuxtable” — reminded us that yesterday marked the 30th anniversary of free agent Reggie Jackson signing with the New York Yankees.

Good luck to the producers of the mini-series version of “The Bronx Is Burning” if they think they can tell their tale (Oliver Platt, gimme a break) without reenacting the above advertisement. I know the commercial was shown a year after the events in the book, but who is going to complain? Tom Sizemore? Barry Pepper?

Please Lord, Don’t Let The Pod People Harm Eddy Curry

Posted in Basketball at 1:07 am by

I hate to pick on Isiah Thomas for no reason whatsoever, but the heck with the EEOC. The FBI oughta be called in to determine just what Zeke did with the real Eddy Curry. Some hulking imposter with an orange headband totally beat up on Zydrunas Ilgauskas in New York’s unlikely 101-98 dispatch of Cleveland. Perhaps the Cavs might wanna have someone else taking the big shot when the game is on the line other than Donyell Marshall or Damon Jones. Just an idea. Not sure if they have anyone else on their roster who might fit the bill for that sort of assignment.

Quentin Richardson (27 points, 9 boards) continues to bounce back from his miserable ’05/06 campaign, and if half of Jamal Crawford’s shots keep going in, his almost pathological inability to dish off to an open man won’t be nearly as galling.

Nate Robinson badly botched a dunk attempt on a bounce pass to himself during the 2nd quarter. In Nate’s defense, at least he only missed this try once.

From Dave D’Alessandro’s Star-Ledger mailbag :

Dave: When this season started, did you ever think the Nets could be the first division winner to fail to make the playoffs? It’s not that far fetched right now. It’ll all be better by mid-January, right?
Eric

Big E: No, and yes. And you better hope I™m right, or you™re going to read nothing but realignment pieces throughout March and April.

Big E. can rest somewhat easier tonight — despite an underwhelming 6-9 record, the Nets are atop the Atlantic Division after erasing a 15 point 3rd quarter deficit en route to tonight’s 106-103 win in Boston. Jersey withstood a combined 56 point outburst from The Truth and Wally World, with a terrific night from Jason Kidd (19 points, 9 assists, 8 rebounds) and 16 4th quarter points from Vince Carter. Richard Jefferson’s 3-pointer with 22 seconds remaining was the killer blow, as Paul Pierce came up short with a subsequent 3 point attempt a few seconds later.

Though he came awfully close to a triple double (24, 9 and 9) Baron Davis failed to sink what would’ve been a game-icing jumper with 15 seconds left tonight in Oakland, giving the Pacers the ball, trailing 106-105. Stephen Jackson, who knows a thing or two about shooting sprees, drained a 3 with a tick remaining to give Indy the 108-106 victory. Mike Dunleavy threw the Warriors’ last gasp possession to….Al Attles? Tim Hardaway? Sal Bando?

Utah’s AK47 (9), Carlos Boozer (16) and Matt Harpering (12) combined to outrebounded the entire San Antonio squad as the Jazz won their 13th out of 16, 83-75. They’re not handing out MVP hardware based on November alone, but no one in the league has made a bigger impact this month than Boozer.

DC Sports Bog’s Dan Steinberg
reports that Gilbert Arenas’ eBay affliction has graduated from vintage jerseys to rare Sports Illustrated covers. I wanted to get Wizznutzz’ take on these revelations and was greeted with the following message for my trouble :

Between the above disappointment and the sudden disappearance of Baseball Think Factory, I’m running out of places to steal material from.

11.29.06

Differing Perspectives On Flash’s Philanthropy

Posted in Basketball, The Marketplace at 8:58 pm by

One of the more annoying commercials of late hasn’t escaped the notice of Stay Free! Daily’s Matt Ransford.

Dwanye Wade pulls up to an urban basketball court in his Navigator, replacing the hoops, flooding the kids with balls, and tossing the keys to the coach. He then squeaks away in the shadow of a tractor trailer on a child-sized bike. The obvious point here is Wade is making such a tremendous sacrifice that he’s got no option other than to ride a shitty little bike home. Put aside the ridiculous idea that Wade doesn’t have the cash to call a cab (or that it’s somehow more virtuous to suffer along with those you’re helping) and you’re left with the notion that people who ride bikes to get anywhere do so because they can’t afford a car. Or a properly-fitting and well-oiled bike, for that matter.

I can’t stand the ad, either, but for entirely other reasons. I found nothing weird about D-Wade on a bike — I see guys on bikes that are too small for them all the time, and besides, he’s a damned athlete. He oughta be cycling home (in fact, so should Shaq. This would’ve been a perfect ad for the Diesel).

My hangups with the spot are two-fold. If Flash is really such a terrific guy, dolling out hoops, balls and Navigators-to-the-kids, I’m happy to hear about it. But the whole staged, highly stylized exercise is less about about giving-something-back and all about selling Navigators. I wasn’t likely to purchase a one anytime soon (having already bought an Escalade from Eddie Griffin —- other than some mysterious stains, it was in perfect condition), but if I was, I’d think twice if I saw D-Wade on TV giving them away so easily. It just makes the rest of us feel like suckers.

The advert’s biggest flaw is the scene that Matt describes as Wade “tossing the keys to the coach.” How do we know he’s a coach? He’s not identified as such, and for all we know, could just as easily be some homeless dude hanging around the playground. Nice work, Dwayne, you’ve just given a $50,000 SUV to some random guy on the street. After the shot of Wade peddling away from the basketball court, we’re shown the Navigator zooming up the same street. Surely I’m not alone in thinking the “coach” is behind the wheel with no passengers in the Lincoln’s roomy seats.