Was This The Greatest Moment In Mankind’s History?

Posted in Basketball at 11:02 am by

Price check on posterizing Michael Jordan. (video link swiped from Marcel Mutoni and NBA Fanhouse)

Still fuming over Kobe’s one game suspension for the attempted decapitation of Manu Ginobilli, Phil Jackon has referred to Stu Jackson as “a non basketball person.” Having attended many Knicks games during 1989 and 1990, I would not argue with Phil.

The Tacoma News Tribune’s Frank Hughes catches up with that walking laff riot, the Sonics’ Mouhamed Saer Sene (above).

Earlier this year, the team had a breakfast meeting at the hotel on the road. Chris Wilcox showed up in a robe, so Bob Hill fined him — just for being ridiculous. At a team meeting yesterday, Sene shows up in baggy shorts, a button-up shirt buttoned all the way to the neck, a gold chain and flip flops. Wilcox turns to Hill and says, “If I got fined for the robe, he should get fined for that outfit.” Hill made Sene stand up in front of the team but did not fine him. Embarrassment may have been punishment enough.

I asked Bob if the D-League is a guard-oriented league. He said he asked Sene if they had any plays for him. Sene told him they had one play for him, ran it the first game he played and did not run it again the rest of the time he played there. I guess that means it’s a guard-oriented league.

Fred Ex : Matchmaker To The Stars

Posted in Baseball, History's Great Hook-Ups at 10:35 am by

Having recently signed a monster pact with the Phillies, Chase Utley might want to think about throwing a bone or two in the direction of a certain ex-Iggle. From the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Jim Salisbury.

Chase Utley was in town yesterday, and he brought the best catch he ever made with him – his new bride,

They met as undergrads at UCLA. Freddie Mitchell (above) introduced them.

Yes, that Freddie Mitchell.

“It was Valentine’s Day 2000,” Jennifer explained on the day her man passed his physical and officially signed a seven-year, $85 million contract with the Phillies.

Mitchell, Utley and Jennifer Cooper were all in the same social policy class. In addition to catching passes for the Bruins’ football team, Mitchell, who later became a receiver and cartoon character with the Eagles, played a little baseball with Utley at UCLA.

After class that day, Utley pointed to Cooper and said he’d like to meet her.

“Oh, I know her,” Mitchell said with his typical I-just-want-to-thank-my-hands-for-being-so-great modesty.

Mitchell made the introduction – then hit up Jennifer for a ride home. Before long, Utley had a date with Ms. Cooper, and he even managed to get a second one after calling her Jessica on their first night out.

Utley and Jess… um… Jennifer became Mr. and Mrs. two weekends ago near her native San Francisco. hat was the same weekend his new deal with the Phillies was ironed out.

In other matrimonial news, congratulations to Red Sox GM Theo Epstein, who somehow managed to meet a girl without Freddie Mitchell’s assistance, and marry her without any press hoopla. ‘Tis a shame the blessed event couldn’t have coincided with National Gorilla Suit Day.

Agent : Selig Could Nullify New Bonds Deal

Posted in Baseball, The Law at 4:45 am by

From the AP :

Barry Bonds gave the San Francisco Giants the right to terminate his $15.8 million, one-year contract if he is indicted.

The unusual provision could set off a legal test between the rights in an individual player’s contract and rights under the union’s collective bargaining agreement. The language, included in the deal that was completed Monday night, is designed by the team to protect itself in case Bonds is charged in the federal government’s steroids investigation.

Bonds’ personal trainer, Greg Anderson, is in a California federal prison because he has refused to testify whether Bonds committed perjury when he told a 2003 grand jury he never knowingly used performance-enhancing drugs.

Complicating matters, the version of Bonds’ contract that was sent to the commissioner’s office by the Giants was not approved, Bonds’ agent, Jeff Borris, said late Tuesday. Borris said the team was redrafting the agreement to address the provisions in question and sending him a revised version by express mail for Bonds to review and sign. Borris wouldn’t specify what was at issue.

As part of the agreement, if Bonds is indicted the Giants have the right to terminate it under two sections of the Uniform Player Contract, a baseball executive said Tuesday, speaking on condition of anonymity because the team didn’t announce that detail.

Under 7(b)(1), a team may terminate a contract if the player shall “fail, refuse or neglect to conform his personal conduct to the standards of good citizenship and good sportsmanship or to keep himself in first-class physical condition or to obey the club’s training rules.”

Section 7(b)(3) gives the team the right to end the deal if a player shall “fail, refuse or neglect to render his services hereunder or in any manner materially breach this contract.”

In addition, the Giants have the less drastic option of converting Bonds’ deal to nonguaranteed, the baseball executive said. Players with nonguaranteed contracts can be released before opening day for 30 or 45 days’ termination pay, depending on the timing.

With HR no. 756 firmly in his sights, I can’t imagine what would compell the Sultan Of Surly to fail, refuse or neglect to render his services.

On the other hand, it’s hard to hit while wearing handcuffs.


The Resurrection Of Jared Jeffries.

Posted in Basketball at 9:42 pm by

Though an 8 point lead with 2 minutes left turned into a mere 2 point advantage in the closing seconds, the Knicks’ Eddy Curry and Channing Frye hit some key free throws to ice tonight’s 99-94 win, the third straight loss for the Kobe-less Lakers. The Zen Master moaned about Bryant’s suspension before the game, and took special care to compare the accidental smack of Manu with “Raja Bell kicking a guy when he’s down.”

Though Eddy Curry’s 27 points led all scorers are the Garden Wednesday, the much maligned Jared Jeffries (above) had a breakout performance (14 points, 7 rebounds, 4 assists, 2 blocks) at both ends of the floor. Jeffries fed Curry with a no-look, behind the back pass in the third quarter that the Knicks center might’ve been the last guy in the building to see. In the game’s final moments, Jeffries blocked a Brian Cook jumper that would’ve narrowed the gap to 2 points, and he lost a contact lens in the process.

The ever polite David Lee was the only uniformed member of the club to get down on the floor and look for it. This extra-effort-off-the-bench stuff is a little too much sometimes.

If Andrew Bynum’s showing against Curry tonight is any indication, Mark Aguirre might be a more proficient tutor of big men than Kareem.

Steve Somers has described his pronounciation problems with Smush Parker’s first name as “the worst mistake in my entire career.” This from a guy who once went on MTV and took credit for breaking Huey Lewis.

After negotiating a buyout with the Grizzlies, Eddie Jones is expected to sign with Miami later this week. There’s no followup story about an Antoine Walker buyout, but if you’re a Miami fan, you can always dream.

While the entire sports world is mourning the passing of Sidney Sheldon, perhaps lost in the shuffle this emotional day is Sasha Pavlovic scoring a career-high 24 points in Cleveland’s 124-97 rout of Golden State. The Cavs made do without LeBron, sidelined by an injured big right toe, though I suspect King James’ disappointment over never getting his copy of “The Other Side Of Midnight” autographed left him in no mental state to take on the Warriors.

Blowing Off SBXLI Media Day In Favor Of More Sean Salisbury Bashing….

Posted in Gridiron at 7:01 pm by

….because even if Tank Johnson were a tree, I wouldn’t care which kind. Tuesday’s day late and a dollar short edition of the Salisbury Stake Thru My Heart includes the following items :

1) Gannett Newspapers’ Craig Carton wrote yesterday, “We have to endure another week of the posturing and “Look at me yell and scream with authority about how much I know about the NFL.” It’s gotten so bad I can’t even watch ESPN anymore if Sean Salisbury is even mentioned. I played golf with Sean in Denver and he yelled at me for taking a one-inch gimme putt, quoting the integrity of the game or some other rule infraction nonsense. I didn’t like him then, and I like him less now.”

This isn’t quite news, but I’m always thrilled when someone other than a sportsblogger interrupts normal programing to take a gratuitious shot at someone more successful for personal reasons.

2) Dumptruck’s Seth Tiven alerts Bedazzled to a nasty bit of anti-semitism in the world of board games. Which is good, because I hear Sean Salisbury’s getting weary playing tennis on the Wii.

3) The spendiferous Sean Salisbury Online features an “NFL Women’s Page” (“Women enjoy playing all types of sports and enjoy being fans of many sports that they may never have played; such as football. Research shows that women would enjoy football games even more if they knew more about the rules and nuances of the game.”) Oh, you lucky, lucky ladies.

NBA.com : Even The Blatant Shilling Has Redeedming Qualities

Posted in Basketball, Sports TV at 6:16 pm by

Other than the odd box score or hunting for video highlights, I don’t spend a ton of time purusing NBA.com. And perhaps that’s my loss, because had I not stumbled across the Association’s inhouse site earlier today, I would probably have forgotten to TiVo tonight’s episode of “Tuesday Night With Amhad”. Not only is the legendary Michael Jordan ass-licker Vikings receiver hosting the shy and retiring Damon Jones tonight, but he’ll also be joined by Darvin Ham. Who may or may not be ready to dish the dirt on the arson charges his mother’s facing.

Elsewhere on NBA.com, haiku specialist Flea blames himself for the Lakers’ recent losses to Charlotte and San Antonio (it seems the bassist recently shared a moment or two with Sean May and Emeka Okafor, insisting “meeting those guys was such a great experience,”) but takes exception to the notion there are any gimmes in the NBA.

“Denial and arrogance are not the stones of which a mighty castle is built,” proclaims Flea. You know, when Danny Fortson eventually beats Peter Vescey to death, the Post might have a lead on a new “Hoops Du Jour” author.

Minnesota Bans Gladiatorial Grappling

Posted in Leave No Child Unbeaten, Lower Education, Medical Science at 5:49 pm by

Before any of you smart alecks chime in, I’m pretty sure Chris Kanyon has no comment. From the Minneapolis Star-Tribune’s Roman Augostoviz and Tim Harlow.

High school wrestling has been suspended for eight days because of a skin-infection outbreak, the Minnesota State High School league said Tuesday.

At least 24 cases of Herpes Gladiatorum have been confirmed. Officials first became aware of the outbreak after a tournament in Rochester in December. Ten teams have reported wrestlers with skin lesions involving the face, head or neck since then.

œI think it™s reasonable to suspend and stop skin to skin transmission, said Leslie Baken, an infectious disease doctor at Park Nicollet Medical Center. œThis will give those with active lesions time to heal, breaking the cycle of transmission.

Baken said the skin infection — not to be confused with the more dangerous genital herpes — could be spread by skin contact. Oral secretions can penetrate the mucus membrane and get beneath the skin through cuts, scrapes and the seemingly benign sticking hands in one™s mouth.

Though it™s a common infection, stopping its spread is important because œonce you have it, you have it for life, she said.

The Guillotine, a wrestling newspaper, has a website with a chat site. At 10:30 a.m. the first post appeared with a rumor that a wrestling shutout was coming.

A half-hour later the MSHSL made an official announcement on its website and The Guillotine’s chat site went crazy: 180 posts, nearly 11,363 views by 2 p.m.

“There is a lot of interest in how this is gong to play out,” said Jeff Beshey, owner of The Guillotine. “A lot of people are wondering people if their events going to be rescheduled.”

Sosa Holds Conference Credibility Call

Posted in Baseball at 5:14 pm by

(Sosa, far left,  assures Rangers executives he’s steroid free)

In accepting a $500K one-year deal (should he make the team), Sammy Sosa addressed the steroid issue head-on with reporters and Texas Rangers executives yesterday by, a) not showing up personally for his own press conference to answer questions, b) demanding questioners prove it, and c) not acknowledging that Ranger fans have legit questions. All of which means, imo, that a former Chicago Cub remains the only steroid-free single season home run king in baseball.

When Sosa last played in 2005, the seven-time All-Star hit .221 with 14 homers and 45 RBIs in 102 games for Baltimore. During spring training that year, Sosa was one of several players who testified before a congressional committee looking into steroid use in professional baseball.

There™s a lot of speculation, but no evidence, Sosa said.

He doesn™t think it™s his job to prove he accumulated his statistics without performance-enhancing substances.

I am not going to go to every fan™s home and knock on the door and say to them: ™Believe in me,™ he said. This is not my style.

Then again, how many Rangers fans are there?

Decision ’08 : Byron Crawford On The Issues That Really Matter

Posted in History's Great Hook-Ups, politics at 2:26 pm by

Regardless of your political leanings, realists amongst know all too well that the race for the White House often rests on something as flimsy as the suitability of a candidate’s spouse. Byron Crawford has the situation so well in hand, I might just let him do my voting for me next time around.

One of the main things the Bush Administration has been successful at is keeping Laura “Pickles” Bush out of the spotlight. Every once in a while you might see her getting off of Air Force One or walking across the White House lawn, but that’s about it.

Hence you’d never know that she used to deal weed when she was in college, that she once killed somebody, or that she smokes squares in the White House – all of which, I’ll have you know, are true.

Of course it’s much more difficult when your wife’s flaws are right out there in the open, which is the case with John Edwards. During the last election, I remember people would wonder: how could a man become a multi-millionaire trial lawyer, get elected to the Senate, finally be selected to run for Vice President, and still not be able to keep his wife in decent shape?

The situation is obviously different with Hillary Clinton, since she’s the one running for president. Some have suggested that the fact that she was able to stand by Bill when he was getting his knob shined left and right is a sign of personal strength, but you have to wonder: how come she wasn’t down on her knees that entire time? If Hillary Clinton can’t take care of her own family, why should we trust her to take care of the entire country?

To date, we don’t know too much about Barack Obama’s wife Michelle. Obviously it was a stroke of genius on his part, at least politically, that he went and got him an actual black woman, since his own racial identity is pretty damn questionable. But of course that can also be a liability. We already know she likes to refer to him as “my baby’s daddy.” How long until Karl Rove or somebody figures out that there’s an actual song called “My Baby’s Daddy?” We could be hearing that shit all next year.

UT Paper On Durant : Naive Or Just Full Of Shit?

Posted in Basketball at 2:15 pm by

Congrats to the Daily Texan’s Cody Hale, a previously unheralded collegiate satirist who almost tricked me into thinking he seriously believes there’s any chance whatsoever the Longhorns’ Kevin Durant isn’t leaving school in June.

If Durant had to make up his mind right now about whether or not he wanted to leave college for the NBA, the answer might not be as simple as most expect.

Even Texas’ coach Rick Barnes feels that way. Barnes believes that if the season were to end today, Durant would have a hard time hanging up his Texas jersey. He might want to stay around for another season.

Now, I already know what you’re thinking. We hear stuff like this all the time at this point in the season, because most players haven’t seriously considered their options just yet.

One of the special things about Durant is that he only cares about getting better on both ends of the court. He knows the money is there waiting for him, whenever he decides to leave college. He also knows that Barnes and his staff can help him become an even better basketball player as he spends more time at Texas.

So, while it’s really too early to tell whether or not Durant will stay in college, don’t be too surprised if at the end of this season he comes back for his sophomore year.

In other news, 2008′s next great One & Done hope / Tim Floyd’s meal ticket, O.J. Mayo had a rough weekend. Since I’m having trouble getting the home video of the incident to play, we’ll have to settle for Paul Alcock taking a dive against Paolo DiCanio, instead.

The Knicks will dodge the bullet that is Kobe Bryant this evening, as the Lakers’ no. 8 no. 24 was suspended for one game for striking Manu Ginobili in the face this past Sunday evening. I don’t know if Stu Jackson cited Kobe because he only hit Ginobili once, but you can safely assume Lamar Odom will do most of the heavy lifting at MSG tonight.

The New York Post’s Peter Vescey — along with summarizing the competition to acquire Memphis’ Pau Gasol — drops the following gems in his Tuesday column.

Emma Faust Tillman, the world’s oldest known living person, died Sunday in Connecticut at 114. To give you an idea how long she lived, Ms. Tillman was alive when Benjamin Harrison was in the White House and the Knicks were under the salary cap.

That reminds me – Dikembe Mutombo, the NBA’s oldest (reputedly June 25, ’66) active player, is fed up with our obsession about his age. I’ll never reference it again – after today. How old is Mutombo, you ask? Older than the hospital he was born in.