Whitlock’s Latest Achievement : Conjuring The Image Of Pat Riley In Tassles

Posted in Basketball at 3:55 pm by

Nearly everyone has an opinion about the Heat’s underwhelming start to the 2010-11 season (some folks even have reasoned analysis to offer). While ormer Heat coach/current Magic soundbyte maven Stan Van Gundy would appreciate it if Phil Jackson kept his thoughts to himself, Fox Sports’ Jason Whitlock figures Pat Riley’s return to the Miami bench is a matter of if rather than when. Riles, opines Big Sexy, “is as needy as a 24-year-old stripper, addicted to the drama, the dysfunction and the lust of wealthy men willing to make it rain.”  See, all that time and money spent at gentlemen’s clubs really was research!

From the moment LeBron James announced he was moving his massive ego to South Beach, Pat Riley has sat passively and watched Bebe™s kids ” James, Wade and Bosh ”- conduct themselves in a fashion Riley knew wouldn™t create a championship environment.

Seriously, Wade, James and Bosh rising from beneath a stage, screaming, preening and dancing long before the Heat won an exhibition game? The introduction of the Big Three violated just about every core principle Riley holds sacred.

Maybe he doesn™t have what it takes to coach this team. If he had the necessary swagger, he would™ve already publicly checked James and Bosh. Surely Spoelstra knows there™s no championship upside in kissing James™ butt. Mike Brown tried that.

Sitting in the stands taking notes isn™t support. It™s preparation for a takeover. It™s a signal to James and Bosh that Riley is ready to step in whenever they get tired of getting embarrassed and want to get down to the serious business of pursuing a title.

I™m starting to think Pat Riley is in the champagne room just waiting for the Big Three to join him.

(Hopefully) Not Coming To RF Video Anytime Soon : The Hardy Boyz Unload On CJ Wilson

Posted in Free Expression, Professional Wrestling at 9:55 am by


Gonna take a wild guess here, but I redkon neither Matt or Jeff would pick “I’m Straight” as their favorite Modern Lovers song.

This Saturday In Austin : Someone Besides Blues Hammer Supports Low Cost Health Care For Musicians

Posted in Austin, Internal Affairs, Medical Science, Rock Und Roll at 1:35 am by

HAAM, aka the Health Alliance For Austin Musicians provides low-cost primary health care services, basic dental care and mental health counseling for eligible, uninsured professional musicians in the Austin area. Though the organization raised an impressive sum with their annual HAAM Benefit Day this past September 21, a few of us decided to try and raise just a little bit more. It’s a good excuse for a Thanksgiving weekend show we’d want to attend under any circumstances, good cause or not.

This show will feature the first Hex Dispensers performance since the addition of Rebecca Whitley (ex-Alright Tonight) to the band.  It’s also the unofficial tour kick off for The Young, who will be heading to the East Coast in support of their new Mexican Summer album, ‘Voyagers Of Legend’ soon afterwards.    It’s Cruddy‘s first local show since their West Coast tour, and while we don’t know who will be singing for the The Shitty Beach Boys on this occasion, we hope you’ll join us in praying it isn’t Mike Love.   Eric Static from Followed By Static will be kicking things off at around 10pm.

If you’d like to apply for HAAM coverage, here’s where you can do so. If you can’t make it to Beerland on Saturday night, HAAM is accepting donations.


Stop The Crucifixion Of Delonte West Bruce Pearl

Posted in Basketball, Religion at 7:10 pm by

Though I cannot vouch for the legitimacy of this Facebook screen shot, allegedly culled from the profile of Brandy Pearl, wife of University Of Tennessee men’s basketball head coach Bruce, I think we can all agree this was a ridiculous thing for her to claim.  Had she written, “Now I know of two Jewish men in the entire city of Knoxville”, however, I can’t imagine anyone would’ve complained.

B&C’s Bortone Places Early Deposit On FireTerryCollins.com

Posted in Baseball, Blogged Down at 6:22 pm by

OK, perhaps he’s not gone nearly that far.  But after former Angels/Astros 2nd place-finish specialist Terry Collins was introduced as the new manager of the New York Mets Tuesday, Bugs & Cranks’ Brad Bortone was amongst the earliest to argue GM Sandy Alderson “thought long and hard¦and gave us a 61-year old pile of vanilla.”  Hey, at least he measures up to Wally Backman in one respect.

Let™s not forget about 1999, when Collins had so many problems with Mo Vaughn (and subsequently, the rest of the Anaheim Angels) that the team signed a petition to have him removed. He ultimately resigned from his job.

Yes, this was a long time ago. But I highly doubt advancing into his golden years has made him easier to deal with.

OH, don™t let me forget that Collins hasn™t held a major league managing job since 1999. He spent last year languishing within the Mets™ farm system as a field¦um¦talent¦um¦minor league¦um ” ah f“k it, who knows what he was doing for the organization last year.

But he™s a safe choice. He won™t do anything moronic like Jerry. He won™t waffle with the media like Willie. He won™t kick dirt on sacred umpire pants like Wally. He™ll be safe¦and level-headed¦and boring.

And, if anyone is making the same Sandy Alderson-Art Howe comparisons as I am right now, let me know.

Stop The Crucifixion Of Delonte West

Posted in Basketball at 1:53 pm by

In recent years, Celtics G Delonte West has received much attention for tooling around on a motorcycle while carrying a small arsenal, a brief altercation with teammate Von Wafer, his attempts to deal with bipolar disorder and last but not least, allegedly having a romantic relationship with the mother of a teammate. Speaking with Fanhouse’s Chris Tomasson prior to Boston’s dispatch of Atlanta last night, West pledged, “I’m just trying to make better decisions, really.” Which has to be considered bad news if Paul Pierce’s mom is ever looking for action

West shrugged off the situation involving Wafer, saying one reason it got the publicity it did was because of the motorcycle incident. West reiterated his denial from the team’s September media day about Gloria James while talking further with FanHouse about the reports.

“Not at all,” West said about there not being any intimate relationship. “I feel sorry that this is a society we’re moving into. … Everyday society has taken the media out of your hands, and with the Twitters and being able to put things out to the world from your mobile phone. Who knows who makes this stuff up? It could have been a 14-year-old kid somewhere who threw that out, unfortunately.”

West expressed disappointment in the reports, and how they might have affected the James family.

“You’ve got to remember, this is just a game,” West said. “Some people are die-hard fans and they paint their face and it’s all great. But you got to do unto others as you have unto yourself. People say something about your mother and drag your mother through something like that and your family, you’d be ready to do something yourself. So it’s sad that happened. But, you know, they hated Jesus, too. You got to keep going. So I wish (LeBron James) much success down there (in Miami) with his family, and I got to keep going here.”


Isiah Thomas Wants You To Know He’s Neither Suicidal Nor A Serial Ass-Grabber

Posted in Basketball at 8:06 pm by

Less than a month ago, former Knicks president/head coach Isiah Thomas — presumably employed by FIU to do something besides make thoroughly insane public statements — openly fantasized about riding on a Knicks championship parade float someday. Weeks later, proving to be the worst self-editor this side of The Widow Cobain, Thomas tells the Chicago Sun-Times’ Rick Morrissey, “If there’s a person in America that has lived through the hell I had to grow up in and they’re still living, they should be smiling, too.” Yes, but then you’d remind such a person how much they paid Eddy Curry and Jerome James and unless they were totally fucking nuts, they’d stop smiling.

He does not like the beating his reputation has taken over what he simply refers to as ”the trial.” His struggles as the Knicks’ president and coach were nothing compared with the controversy tied to a 2007 sexual-harassment lawsuit filed by former Knicks executive Anucha Browne Sanders (above) against Thomas and Madison Square Garden.

”I couldn’t believe I was in the courtroom after everything I had gone through on the West Side — never having been in a courtroom there, escaping that sort of thing — and that at the zenith of your career, you find yourself in the courtroom,” he said. ”It was awful for me. It was awful for our family. It was awful for my wife and kids.”

To this day, Thomas steadfastly maintains his innocence and finds comfort in the fact that he wasn’t ordered to pay a dime toward the jury award. Others have called that semantics.

”The jury, I believe, found Madison Square Garden had a hostile work environment and that she was wrongfully terminated,” he said. ”Basically, the Garden and [Knicks owner] Jim Dolan were ordered to pay $11 million, and everyone else was found liable for contributing to a hostile work environment. I wasn’t ordered to pay anything.”

A year later, as if he needed another layer of darkness, he had to be taken to the hospital after an overdose of sleeping pills. It was not a suicide attempt, he said, but a response to stress. His daughter had been hospitalized hours before for an undisclosed medical issue. He had lost his Knicks job titles months earlier.

”I wanted to go to sleep, period,” he said. ”If anybody can’t understand the things that I was going through, where I was having a hard time sleeping, tell them to go through it and get a good night’s sleep. The intention wasn’t to do harm to myself. The intention was to get that day over and wake up the next day.”

How Dare Vince Young Interrupt David Climer’s Social Calender?

Posted in Gridiron, Sports Journalism at 6:56 pm by

It’s mostly Jeff Fisher’s side of Sunday’s alleged Vince Young meltdown that’s being accepted as what-really-happened during a 19-16 O.T. loss to Washington. Whether Young quit or his team or simply exhibited poor body language after suffering what turned out to be a season-ending injury.  While Titans owner Bud Adams insists his head coach and star QB need to find a way to reconcile, at least one member of the Nashville media makes it pretty clear which side he’s on (chat screen shot taken from The Tennessean) :

Got that, great unwashed Titans fans?  David Climber isn’t merely performing his professional duties while following that ingrate Vince Young, he’s putting his marriage on the line. Maybe the institution of marriage means as little to you folks as it did to Steve McNair, but there’s one football columnist willing to stand up for family and head coaching authority (especially a coach with a whopping 5 playoff wins in 15 years).

King Of Prussia Memorabilia Dealer Provides Excellent Teaching Moment For Area Youth

Posted in Dogs, Gridiron at 2:38 pm by

To wit, there’s only a handful of crimes you can commit that are so socially unacceptable, a combination of otherworldy throwing/scrambling skills aren’t enough to repair a public image. Drowning dogs is apparently, not one of them. Would Michael Vick’s story be any less inspirational if he were merely holding a clipboard for Kevin Kolb?  Or if he was driving a DHL truck?  I’m in agreement with ESPN.com’s Jeff MacGregor — while Vick deserves a second chance, he’s hardly the only person who ought to get a shot at turning his life around.  That the Eagles QB was more likely to get one than most persons in America’s penal system is only a sign of the times if you believe commercial activity is a recent invention.  The NFL and society will put up with an awful lot as long as you’re a viable commodity.

Vikes Fire Coach / Favre Chauffeur

Posted in Gridiron at 2:04 pm by

(above : a very unpopular Halloween costume in 2010 and for years to come)

In what will qualify as perhaps the least surprising news item of any sort this month, the Minnesota Vikings —- all but guaranteed playoff elimination with a 3-7 record — have axed head coach Brad Childress.  From the Minneapolis Star-Tribune’s Judd Zulgad ;

The team announced that Childress has been relieved of his duties and that defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier has been named the interim coach and will serve in that capacity for the remainder of the season.

Childress, 54, signed a contract extension through 2013 last November but it was reported last week that the final year is the team™s option and that Wilf will have to pay Childress $6.6 million for 2011 and 2012.

Owner Zygi Wilf spent only a brief time in the Vikings locker room following Sunday™s loss and appeared livid as he departed. He refused to comment but NFL sources indicated he made the decision Sunday night that Childress would be fired.

On his twitter account, offensive tackle Bryant McKinnie said he was riding to Winter Park with teammate Naufahu Tahi and that “we have no clue what the vibe is gonna be like.”