Excessive Celebration For A 5-7 Season?

Posted in Fashion, Gridiron at 8:07 pm by

(image culled from Chris Tardio‘s Twitter feed)

…or an appropriate response to ending the nation’s longest annual losing streak? Who amongst us wouldn’t want a special shirt commemorating the day Tennessee were eliminated from eligibility for the Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl?

Derek Fisher Can Barely Contain His Excitement Over The (Probable) End Of The NBA Lockout

Posted in Basketball, The Marketplace at 3:38 pm by

Fast forward to about 7:39, please. Considering Derek Fisher wasn’t sitting next to Jeffrey Kessler or fielding questions from Benji Bronk, we can safely assume he’s somewhat less than thrilled with the near-resolution of the NBA labor dispute. At the risk of regurgitating tweets from early this morning, let me say that while I’m beyond thrilled we’ll have basketball to watch on Christmas Day, my enthusiasm is slightly quelled by the sobering realization Dan Gilbert, Donald Sterling and James Dolan still own NBA teams.


TSN Recalls A Professional Football Owner Far More Loveable Than Jerry Jones

Posted in Gridiron at 10:46 pm by

Sunday’s Grey Cup clash between the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and B.C. Lions will mark the 20th anniversary of the Toronto Argonauts’ 1991 CFL Championship, a title won under the stewardship of former co-owner, the late John Candy.  On Saturday, TSN will screen a documentary on Candy’s tenure with the team (alongside partners Wayne Gretzky and the later-disgraced Bruce McNall), said telecast coming during a period in which “a whiff of formaldehyde” permeates the contemporary Argos in the view of the Globe & Mail’s Bruce Dowbiggin ;

The film highlights Candy’s manic efforts to make the Argos the coolest kid in class once again, reviving them in a Toronto market infatuated with the Blue Jays and Maple Leafs. Employing Hollywood pals ranging from Jim Belushi to Mariel Hemingway, Candy single-handedly lifted the team and the entire league for a brief moment of gridiron Camelot.

Watching him on the frigid Winnipeg sideline in November of 1991, we vividly recall looking up from our desk at CBC to see the ample Candy bounding across the newsroom toward us, massive paw outstretched as slack-jawed reporters sat stunned to see the movie star in their midst. As the many voices in the piece recall, Candy was everywhere in the brief years between buying the team and selling it days before his death in March of 1994. We were on his list and he made it memorable.

Producer Matt Dunn deftly captures Candy’s enthusiasm for a team that, as now, was being rendered passé by Toronto’s cultural elites. In those days, however, there was no NFL pressing at the gates of Canada’s largest market, threatening the viability of the entire league. As the CFL takes the Grey Cup game to Toronto next year, it’s hard not to lament the shabby condition of the storied tradition Candy so believed in.

Lenny Dykstra : Contrite, Semi-Lucid, Disavowing Anti-Semitic Tweets

Posted in Baseball, twitter twatter at 4:26 pm by

Using the sort of rhetoric that might limit his future CSTB appearances to one or twice a year (““I really for the first time understand humility…“It’s not everybody else’s fault. It’s not a coincidence that I’m here”) the rehabbing reprobate Lenny Dykstra tells the New York Daily News’ Nancy Dillon that “The punishment gods said, ‘You know what we’re going to do? We’re going to put you in fucking jail.”

Dykstra is now a voluntary patient on scholarship at The Hills, takes routine drug tests and calls his thinking “clear.”

“I’m a partier, (and) it leads to making decisions that probably led to why I’m here right now. And that’s a fact that I have to admit,” he said.

Dykstra scoffed at reports that he recently bailed on a formal agreement to fight fellow former baseball star Jose Canseco in a celebrity boxing match. He said the Pennsylvania fan who ran his Twitter feed while he was incarcerated signed the contract without his full consent and then fabricated quotes for a press release.

Dykstra said the Pennsylvania-based fan later staged a fake Twitter war with him, attributing anti-Semitic remarks to the former All-Star. Claiming he doesn’t even know the password for the Twitter account bearing his name, Dykstra said he now is pursuing a restraining order.


The Former Thrashers Are Contractually Obliged To “Protect & Preserve” The Monarchy

Posted in Hockey at 9:24 pm by

Once the Atlanta Thrashers’ move to Winnipeg was confirmed, the club’s current owners, True North Sports & Entertainment opted to revive the name of the departed WHA/NHL Jets, but instead chose a new logo for the team, one they boasted,”was developed in partnership with Reebok and the NHL, was inspired by the logo of the Royal Canadian Air Force.” The Guardian’s Colin Horgan delves into a Canadian Press report that outlines the Jets’ written agreement with the nation’s defense department over how the logo can be used, the most eye-catching passage being the following ; “the club agrees to use the Winnipeg Jets logos solely in accordance with the terms and conditions of this agreement and in such a manner as to protect and preserve the reputation and integrity of Her Majesty the Queen in Right of Canada, as represented by the Minister of National Defence and the Canadian Forces.”

According to the story, nobody from either the Jets organization or national defence was available for comment, but it certainly raises some questions – namely about specifics: what exactly will ensure protection of the integrity of the Queen? That could mean all kinds of things, and it seems odd that an NHL franchise would ever be expected to worry about upholding the image of a reigning monarch. Just play hockey.

It’s doubtful that it will actually affect the team in too many ways, but from a fan standpoint, it certainly makes you wonder what exactly it is you’re supporting when you don a jersey. Given the recent push by Canada’s Conservative government to reintroduce the ‘Royal’ designation back to the Army and Navy, and the fervor with which it lauded two recent Royal visits, this Jets logo tips dangerously from the realm of sports into the world of ideological politics.

For Detroit’s Ndamukong Suh, Anger Mismanagement Takes No Holiday

Posted in Gridiron at 4:19 pm by

“If you don’t want the world to think you’re a dirty player, you might not want to get caught kicking an opponent and grinding his head into the ground,” opined ESPN.com’s Kevin Seifert, conveniently ignoring the way DT Ndamukong Suh has been routinely targeted by officials. I don’t care what the video evidence shows, this is such a small sample size with which to smear a hard-working professional athlete who obeys most laws of civilized society 6 days a week.


The Day A Football Match Ended With An (American) Football Score

Posted in Football at 9:01 pm by

American Samoa defeated Tonga, 2-1, earlier today in a World Cup pre-qualifier.  For the hosts, it was their first victory in 31 tries in international competition, and a result that recalled the above sporting atrocity that took place a decade ago.

Megdal To Seinfeld : Prove Your Love For Reyes By Paying For Him

Posted in Baseball, The World Of Entertainment at 2:27 pm by

Entertainer / extremely wealthy person Jerry Seinfeld (above, right) took to the set of “Live With Kelly” earlier this week to plead Mets ownership to re-sign free agent SS Jose Reyes, something that seems less likely to happen with each passing day. The LoHud Mets Blog’s Howard Megdal — who at one time mounted a public campaign to become Mets G.M. — figures the Amazingly Destitutes are in a position “no different than one utilized by universities when they need a new gym or library.”  To wit, Megdal would like Mr. Seinfeld to cough up the funds required to keep Jose in a Mets uniform, warning “otherwise, the 2012 season is going to be a show about nothing. And not the good kind.”

If you believe there’s a price point where the Mets would pay for Jose Reyes- say four years, 70 million-then all Jerry Seinfeld has to provide is the difference between this and what it takes to get the deal done. Jon Heyman estimated Reyes’ final deal at six years, $120 million. So the difference would require Jerry to kick in $50 million.

Even if you think every dollar the Wilpon group is cutting in salary is going to the Save An Owner Foundation, this plan could still work. All it required of Jerry Seinfeld is $20 million per season for the next six seasons.

Again, with Seinfeld subsidizing the Reyes contract entirely, it in no way hamstrings Sandy Alderson’s payroll flexibility. Indeed, by allowing him to spend whatever the Wilpon group provides him on just 24 players- and shortstop accounted for- it is a solution that allows the Mets to keep Reyes AND have greater payroll flexibility than they’d have without him.

For what it’s worth, Bee Movie grossed more than $126 million. Jerry can pay for Jose Reyes without even touching Seinfeld money.

So I’m begging you, Jerry: please pay for the Mets to keep Jose Reyes. It is unseemly to ask another man to spend his money, I know. But Mets fans are out of options. You can become, in one move, to the Mets as Bill Gates is to world disease. And your dog can lead the Bark in the Park parade- a parade of triumph, making him the greatest mascot this team has had since Mr. Met.

Stanford’s Shaw : Nothing Against The ACC…

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron at 2:08 pm by

…but it’s hardly a fearsome football conference at the moment.  OK, I’m putting a few words in the mouth of Stanford head coach David Shaw, but when Jim Harbaugh’s successor considers the Cardinal’s no. 6 Bowl Championship Series ranking behind Oklahoma State and Virginia Tech, it’s understandable why he’d use a Tuesday press conference to denounce the BCS system as “flawed…and they know it.” From the San Jose Mercury News’ Jon Wilner ;

“To have a one-loss Pac-12 team behind a one-loss ACC team (Virginia Tech) means the computers value the ACC more than the Pac-12 … which I don’t believe is accurate,” Shaw said.

When the topic turned to Oklahoma State, Shaw noted that the Cowboys’ loss came to an unranked team (Iowa State), whereas Stanford lost to then-No. 7 Oregon.

“The computers don’t program themselves,” he said.

The BCS standings are determined by a team’s average ranking in seven computer polls and its position in the Coaches and Harris top-25 polls. Because of what’s perceived to be a weak schedule, Stanford’s computer ranking is lower than its position in the human polls.

“I don’t get it,” Shaw said. “Who decides what a quality win is? The explanations I get don’t make any sense.”

Blitz Corner : Combining The Least Appealing Elements Of Bleacher Report & Yardbarker (Without Paying Anyone)

Posted in Blogged Down, Internal Affairs, The Marketplace at 12:06 pm by


This is BlitzCorner.com News Editor Joseph Santosus. I’ve become acquainted with your blog, Can’t Stop The Bleeding, and would like to extend you an invitation to join our growing network of Sports Websites. The BlitzCorner Network (BCN) is designed to boost traffic and encourage growth by introducing your content to new and unique users across the network, while allowing you to maintain complete control over your website. Joining is free and requires only that each member place a widget customized to fit the space of their choosing within their site. In addition to having direct links to your content displayed throughout the various websites included in the network, they will also be updated to the BlitzCorner.com homepage on a daily basis. I look forward to your response, and please feel free to let me know of any questions you may have.

Joseph Santosus
BlitzCorner/LowKick.com Editor

Though I’m deeply flattered by an invitation to participate in a network that features such hard-hitting journalism as this item (or, perhaps, this one), I’m gonna have to let this golden opportunity slip thru my fingers. Given that CSTB recently extricated itself from an agreement with Yardbarker — who through all of their traffic boosting schemes, obliged us to routinely cross-promote dumbfuck content nearly as pathetic as the examples linked above  —- it really doesn’t make sense to willfully dive head first into a similar shit pit, let alone one that offers no percentage of advertising revenues.