Spurs To Retire Bowen’s #12 (Bowtie To Remain Untouched)

Posted in Basketball, Free Expression at 4:25 pm by

San Antonio will retire Bruce Bowen’s jersey during March 21 ceremonies at the AT&T Center, and in light of the one of the dirtiest players greatest defenders in league history receiving his moment in the sun, let’s reflect, briefly, on some of his greatest hits.



Posted in Gridiron at 11:38 pm by




Measuring A Tarnished Legacy ; Zirin On The Late Joe Paterno

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron, Leave No Child Unbeaten at 11:26 pm by

As you’ve no doubt have read elsewhere, former Penn State head football coach Joe Paterno passed away earlier today, weeks after he was removed from duty due to his failure to take greater action upon learning of allegations against defensive coordinator/national pariah #1 Jerry Sandusky.  Though The Nation’s Dave Zirin has already weighed in on PSU’s handling of the Sandusky scandal, on Sunday he writes ; “the all-time winningest coach in Division 1 college football history has given us another puzzle to ponder: When assessing a legacy, how much should one scandal be weighed alongside decades of service?“, ultimately concluding, “In Paterno’s case, he became victim of his own nurtured legend.”

When it was further demonstrated that Sandusky continued to be a presence on campus, in the locker room and even on Joe Paterno’s sideline with young children by his side, damning questions rose to a din: how could Joe Pahave been content with silence, given the possibility that children continued to be at risk? Did Joe Paterno, and the campus leadership, care more about their brand than anything that resembled human morality? Was a football program that had become the economic, social, and cultural center of an entire region, more important than all other concerns? Had abused children become, in the view of Penn State’s leadership, an unfortunate collateral damage necessary to keeping the cash registers ringing? The conclusions most people drew were not kind.

Let Paterno’s last teachable moment be this: if your football coach is the highest paid, most revered person on your campus, you have a problem. If your school wins multiple championships, and a booster drops money to build a statue of the coach, tear it the hell down. And if you think children are being raped, the minimum just isn’t good enough, no matter whether or not you wear a crown.

Peter Vecsey : All The T-Wolves Need Is (Resigning) Love (To A 5-Year, Max Deal)

Posted in Basketball, Sports Journalism at 7:12 pm by

(from the CSTB archives, Love, left, shown with former boss Kevin McHale, right, as the latter explains what was revealed when he tore away the “worth seeing” sticker from The Bastards’ ‘Monticello’ sleeve)

…but unfortunately, the New York Post doesn’t pay their Hoops Du Jour columnist to write about any of them. On Sunday, Vecsey muses, “we all struggle, our constitutional rights are being sold down the river by numb, corrupt elected officials, and our land, pets, and infrastructure are being abused…I am ashamed actually giving credence to whether a 23-year-old basketball player feels insulted being offered $15M per year.” Funny, I don’t feel guilty at all agreeing with Pete that Minnesota’s reluctance to offer  Kevin Love a 5 year max deal instead of of 4 could well haunt the franchise for years to come.

How can Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor not realize an extra $17 million (roughly $78M total) is wholly worth the investment to maintain the electrically charged concurrence the infinitely improved T’wolves have going for them?

Why would Taylor not want to lock up Love as long as possible (to keep or trade) when an insurance policy is readily available to protect him against a career-ending injury?

>Surely Taylor must understand better than most (Kevin Garnett’s history with the team comes to mind) how rare it is to luck into a fixated forward that flexes for double-doubles as fluently as Charles Barkley articulates two straight prepositions.

For all concerned — especially in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul — and for the sake of Love’s teammates, coaches and Wolves’ fans (only recently removed from the endangered list), hopefully Taylor will come to his senses.

And Love will get a grip on reality. I seem to remember him saying last season, “All I want is $50M for five.” Of course, that was before Russell Westbrook got profoundly rewarded.

Famous Heterosexual / Dream Theatre Fan Pledges Mets Loyalty

Posted in Baseball, New York, New York, Sports TV at 5:48 pm by

(link courtesy MetsBlog)

MSG TV’s Jill Martin had a word with Metal Mike Piazza during halftime of the Knicks’ double OT loss to Denver, and the former expressed his desire to roll around naked on a pile of Savatage bootlegs to enter the Baseball Hall Of Fame as a NY Met. Tommy Lasorda and Murray Chass, while not necessarily unavailable for comment, aren’t gonna answer my phone calls either way, so forget about it.


Boston’s Rask, Far Too Polite To Wonder If Someone Else Might Consider Blocking A Shot

Posted in Hockey at 10:29 pm by

An OT goal by the Rangers’ Marian Gaborik with 3.6 seconds remaining gave the Rangers a 3-2 victory over the Bruins earlier today, a contest that feature spectacular goaltending by Tim Thomas’backup, Tuuka Rask. Despite the frustrating conclusion, Rask showed, in the words of NESN’s Joe Haggerty, “he can break sticks in a fit of pique with the best of them.”

“[They were] great saves by him. I think it frustrates him because he thought he grabbed the [puck], but it kept popping up in the same spot,” said Rich Peverley. “Three chances, and maybe four, and they finally got that last one.”

But that didn’t stop the excitable Rask from emotionally slamming his blocker down like a battle axe on the crossbar after the rebound goal had eluded.

Rask was still flapping his arms around animatedly as he skated off in the background behind a Rangers’ group slapping each other on the back following the victory, and was no less emotional in the postgame locker room

“Yeah…it was two rebounds. It hit my glove twice, but ah…that’s what sucks the most. Three seconds? [Expletive],” said Rask. “Somebody liked it, I guess. It was a pretty thrilling end. Not for me, though.

“Well [expletive], I mean three seconds left – it sucks. You’re pretty riled when that happens. I broke my stick. I had success doing that. Sometimes I can’t break ‘em, but this time, I broke it. [That’s] something positive out of it.”

SF, NY Scribes In A Ferocious Battle Of Tired Stereotypes

Posted in Gridiron at 7:51 pm by

In the wake of a New Orleans Saints fan claiming he and his family were bullied at last Saturday’s Saints/Niners NFC Divisional Playoff game, the New York Daily News’ Fillip Bondy weighed in yesterday with repeated jabs at San Francisco’s allegedly “soft” football patrons (“all the real fanatics live in working-class Oakland and cheer for the Raiders,” “San Francisco is famous for the Summer of Love. In the summer, New York doesn’t love anybody and nobody loves New York,”). While not particularly funny, Bondy’s column succeeded in raising the ire of the San Francisco Chronicle’s Scott Osteler, who warns his New York colleague in advance of tomorrow’s NFC Championship, “when I see you Sunday I’m going to slap you upside the head with my low-fat, gluten-free butterscotch scone.”

New York weather makes fans tough? Snow? Snow is annoying, but hardly character-developing. All it develops is your already-prodigious whining skills. San Francisco has manly weather. We have fog so thick that you can be walking down the street and get stuck in it like a fly frozen in an ice cube. And wind? Dozens of cars are blown off the Golden Gate Bridge every day. That swimming helps us develop big lungs for cheering.

Our average income is higher than yours? Don’t worry, you’ll close the gap with your next Wall Street Ponzi scheme. If not, hey, we’re all Democrats out here, we’ll just give you whatever you need.

Shaq Isn’t Merely Entitled To His Screwy Opinions…He’s Being Paid Handsomely To Provide Them

Posted in Basketball, Sports TV at 2:21 pm by

Of TNT analyst Shaquille O’Neal’s insistence that Andrew Bynum is the Association’s “Best True Big Man”, the obviously dissed Dwight Howard would like O’Neal to “sit down and get on with his life”.  An equally dismayed Kelly Dwyer of Ball Don’t Lie goes a tad further, opining that Shaq’s vendetta against Howard, “is more sad than anything.”

Shaq, who chafed at Howard’s supposed theft of his Superman persona years ago, just needs to get over it. The pampered, petulant athlete bit works when you’re an actual athlete. But as a gabby wonk on a TV show? Silly biases and harbored grudges don’t tend to go over as well. Especially when even fair weather NBA fans and viewers can see right through you.

We’re enjoying the heck out of O’Neal’s turn on NBA TV and TNT this year. Like Howard, even at his worst O’Neal still has quite a lot to offer, and his presence on the set far outshines ESPN’s milquetoast coverage. He’s at his best as the goofball, though, and not the spurned giant in winter. Let it go, man.

I’ve nothing but respect for Dwyer’s work, but this is a rare instance where I’ll disagree.  If TNT producers aren’t encouraging Shaq to continue his feud with Howard, than full credit to O’Neal for understanding the heel announcer gimmick is especially entertaining when 100% of the viewership knows you’re totally full of shit.  This isn’t the first time O’Neal has made a premeditated public statement that would cause most reasonable persons to lay low for several weeks ; TNT knew full well they were not only hiring a guy with zero broadcasting experience, but one who’d previously endeared himself to the public by boasting of sleeping with Venus Williams and taking a dispute with Kobe Bryant to a very intimate space.

So I’d suggest Shaquille O’Neal is totally getting on with his life by using the wide forum his new gig has afforded him.  If he’s smart, he’ll continue to diminish Howard’s accomplishments, perhaps to the point of suggesting Eddy Curry or Darko Milicic have supplanted Superman II as the league’s top (big) dog.


No One’s Ever Died From A Freezing Gatorade Bath…

Posted in Gridiron at 6:48 pm by

…though that’s no reason for Col. Tom Coughlin’s charges to resist to the temptation to drench their coach with the coldest available supply if the Giants succeed in beating San Francisco in Sunday’s NFC Championship.  The Gatorade dousing, long thought to be an innovation of the ’85 Giants, receives a historical overview from the New York Times’ Sam Borden in Saturday’s edition, dispelling an urban myth in the process.

George Allen, or so the story went, was dunked with a bucket of water by his Long Beach State players in 1990 after they won their final game of the season. Allen, the former coach of the Washington Redskins and the Los Angeles Rams, was 72 and was said to have developed pneumonia that led to his death a few weeks later.

In an interview this week, however, his son George Allen Jr., a former senator and governor of Virginia, said that was simply not true.

“He got a cold from it, but that was not the cause of his death,” the younger Allen said in a telephone interview. “He had a heart arrhythmia. It had nothing to do with the Gatorade shower.”

Allen added that every time he saw a coach doused on television, it made him think of his father. “And not for any bad reason,” Allen said. “It makes me think of him because getting that Gatorade shower meant he went out a winner.”

The Fake Twitter Account Phenomena Has Hit High School Athletics

Posted in Free Expression, Leave No Child Unbeaten, Lower Education, twitter twatter at 6:20 pm by

Clever parody Character assassination is no longer reserved for the likes of @crankyvince or @amareisntreal ; The Indy Star’s Bill McCleery reports that coaches and administrators at Lawrence North High School (IN) had statements attributed to them that were the work of young hoodlums.

One online imposter assumed the identity of Principal Brett Crousore, also the school’s wrestling coach, and made reference to male sexual anatomy. That tweet also suggested the existence of inappropriate relationships between the coach and student-athletes.

Another tweet, purported to be from football coach Tom Dilley (above), was racially charged. It seemed to express the idea that Dilley, who is white, prefers black players to represent the school.

“I don’t even want to see you at practice,” the tweet proclaims, “if you’re white.”

Another tweet, suggested to be from basketball coach Jack Keefer, offered the following: “I love it when the girls wear those black yoga pants.”

The tweets originated from three Twitter accounts, Crousore said, though he declined to say how many students are thought to have been involved in the online impersonations.

CSTB’s Greatest Hits : When Fantasy Sports & Sexual Dysfunction Collide

Posted in Blogged Down, Internal Affairs, non-sporting journalism at 2:38 am by

(EDITOR’S NOTE :  Though I’d never seriously suggest there’s a correlation between stat crunching and problems in the sac(k), at one time in this blog’s history — January 28, 2006, to be exact — I made a bold attempt to combine TWO GREAT INTERNET FIXTURES that should never, ever go together).

Some shitty tabloids offer advice to the lovelorn and/or unattractive. And some major sports portals offer fantasy sports tips for persons Colin Cowherd charitably calls “nerds”.

Here at Can’t Stop The Bleeding, I’ve often considered both features to be an utter waste of time. However, if some enterprising person were to say, mix up the mailbag a bit, you might have a terrific new column.

And with that, I’ve taken the liberty of combining some random letters to (and responses from) ESPN’s Fantasy Games expert Scott Engel and The Mirror’s resident Sex & Health guru Dr. Miriam.

Q: I’m 17 and sex for the first time with my girlfriend was painful as my foreskin has always been quite tight. When I’m erect, it doesn’t pass over the tip of my penis. Will this problem go away?

A: As I have said many times, drafting Antonio Gates gives you a clear advantage over your opposition on a regular basis. But he still doesn’t quite match up to the elite WRs in terms of overall yardage. Plus, RBs will be flying off the board in the first two rounds, and you must grab the best one available with one of your first two picks. Drafting at the end of round one can still give you a shot at a very good RB (Rudi Johnson or Steven Jackson might still be available).

Q: I’m in a 12-team league where we are only allowed to retain one keeper. My options are Larry Fitzgerald (I sacrifice a sixth-round pick in 2006) and Steven Jackson (10th-round pick). The other owners will be keeping some good RBs as well, (Larry Johnson, Tiki Barber, Willis McGahee, Thomas Jones, Willie Parker and Warrick Dunn to name a few). With these factors in mind, who would you keep and why?

A: A domineering, self-centred and uncaring person who is smugly convinced of his own importance is a turn-off.

Power struggles and jealousy can create anger and resentment and these dangerous emotions get acted out in sex. You feel bullied and controlled out of bed so your sexual response levels have plummeted. You can’t give your all to someone arrogant about receiving it.

Q: I’M a 54-year-old man whose libido seems to have died.

I’ve had a couple of girlfriends over the past few years and really enjoyed sex with them. One was a lot younger and a bit too demanding. She wanted sex at night and in the morning and I just couldn’t cope. But things aren’t going too well with my new girlfriend either.

The worst thing – apart from the loss of confidence – is the thought I may never be able to form another relationship again.

I don’t expect to be a three-times-a-night 20 year old again, but it would be nice to be able to perform when needed.

A:I would never use a keeper pick on a defense/special teams, as you can always grab a quality unit in your next draft, and top skill position players are much more important. Plus, defenses often vary in performance more often than skill players on a year-to-year basis, so even the best defense comes with some amount of risk. You’re talking about an 11-player unit that could undergo changes, deal with injuries or simply suffer if the offense plays worse next year and puts them on the field too often.

Q: If the Colts don’t re-sign Edgerrin James, what would be the value of Dominic Rhodes? Can he be a top running back behind the same line in the same system if the Colts use him as their featured back?

A: It’s one thing to fantasise about being spanked hard, but a good dose of the cane could cause him an injury and he’s being unfair placing you under this kind of pressure.

For starters, forget the cane. If you’re new at this, stay with your bare hand. Not only are you far less likely to do any real damage this way, you’ll find it far easier to develop a feel for what you’re doing.


Carmona Unglued : Indians Hurler Is Not Who We Thought He Was

Posted in Baseball, mistaken I.D. at 5:10 pm by

With my apologies to both the Ramones and Dennis Green for the above headline, ESPN Deportes’ Enrique Rojas reports Indians righty Fausto Carmona is accused of trying to obtain a US visa under a false identity.

Colonel Maximo Aybar Baez, a spokesman for the Dominican police, said on his Twitter account that Carmona, whose actual name is Roberto Hernandez Heredia, was arrested after leaving the U.S. Consulate in the Dominican Republic on Thursday.

Authorities said Heredia is 31 years old and not 28, as he has claimed.

“This arrest is part of the measures taken by the National Police (NP), in coordination with the American Consulate. The NP invited Dominican prospects not to be misled by those who sell fake illusions based on illegality,” Baez said on Twitter.

The pitcher was trying to renew his visa so he could attend spring training in February.

Can’t Get Enough Of Duff’s Nutty Analogies : Is Eli Manning The Bobby Soxx Of The NFL?

Posted in Gridiron, Rock Und Roll at 1:46 pm by

Well, no. Of course not. But in a stretch far bigger than any in his current journalism career, Seattle Weekly’s Duff McKagen, he of stints with Velvet Revolver, the Fastbacks, the Fartz and some ’90′s LA band I can’t quite remember the name of, takes to ESPN.com to insist if NY Giants QB Eli Manning fronted a band, “he’d be the type that would be doing just strictly studio work” (“there would be no way that an always-image-conscious audience would back a singer as ungainly on stage as Manning telegraphs to us all from the field”)

He is what punk rock was to mainstream rock in the ’70s. What “grunge” was to hair-metal in the ’90s. What old-school country is to modern country music. A punch in the gut.

No makeup and no offstage gimmickry. No B.S. and no frills. Just results and elation.


You Were Expecting Tyvek? Pt. II : The Former Robbie Van Winkle To “Entertain” Pistons Fans

Posted in Basketball, Food, Hip Hop, Rock Und Roll at 9:47 pm by

Cookin’ with Timmy from Metro Times on Vimeo.

(what does this video have to do with the story below? Absolutely nothing, but now that there’s no doubt Timmy Vulgar and the camera love each other, perhaps David Stern can do the right thing and order the Pistons to book Human Eye, instead).

If the good people of the Motor City took umbrage at Nickelback being invited to tarnish the hallowed music venue that is Ford Field, how might they react to ex-pop idol-turned-crappy-basic-cable fixture Vanilla Ice taking the stage at halftime of an upcoming Pistons game? The following Pistons press release is culled from Detroit Bad Boys.com ;

Younger Pistons’ fans won’t want to miss “Totally ‘90’s” night on Friday, February 3 when Detroit hosts Brandon Jennings and the Milwaukee Bucks at 7:30 p.m. at The Palace of Auburn Hills. The first 10,000 fans in attendance will receive a commemorative Ben Gordon poster and the halftime musical performer will be 1990’s rapper Vanilla Ice, who’s single “Ice Ice Baby” was the first hip-hop single to top the Billboard charts.

It would appear that even the most fleeting of associations with ICP is enough to elevate an act from the State Fair circuit. And with that in mind, perhaps the creative minds behind The Gathering (and subsequently, the Pisons marketing department) might wanna consider another veteran artist who is hot on the comeback trail?

Your Move, Under Armor : The (Ahem) Jewish Jordan Introduces The Game-Ready Tzitzit

Posted in Basketball, Fashion, Religion at 6:09 pm by

Who amongst us hasn’t taken the court and wished we had a Tzizit with superior moisture wicking capabilities? I’M LOOKING AT YOU, CHARLIE WARD. Link courtesy The Classical‘s David Roth, who adds, “good to see Tamir Goodman has been staying out of the sun.”

For His 70th Birthday, Muhammad Ali’s Gift Is A Comparison Between His Fighting Skills And Those Of Milan Lucic

Posted in Boxing, Hockey at 12:54 am by

How many of you have wondered during a quiet moment, how would an in-his-prime Muhammad Ali have fared in a hockey fight against some of the game’s more contemporary goons? Nobody, huh? Well, NESN’s Dan Duquette Jr. — kin to current Orioles / former Red Sox GM Dan Sr. — considers it a wildly entertaining topic. Coming soon ; Dan Jr. on who’d win an arm wrestling match between Ghandi and Kevin Garnett.


Cheer Up, Terrell Suggs – The Domain Name “BallSoHardA&M.edu” Is Still Available

Posted in "Wife Beater" Is Not A Fashion Statement, Fashion, Gridiron, The Marketplace at 6:40 pm by

“If Terrell Suggs can pull off the sports tv moment of 2011, ” yours truly mused last November, “surely there’s an enterprising CSTB reader in the Baltimore area prepared to introduce a ‘Ball So Hard Univ. Athletic Department’ t-shirt.”  Well, there was no “if” about it. As the Hollywood Reporter’s Eriq Gardner explains, Ravens linebacker Suggs is engaged in a copyright squabble with t-shirt peddler Brian Brussells, who sought trademark protection for “Ball So Hard” 10 full days before Suggs got around to it.    For the record, Gardner reminds us that Sizzle “attended Arizona State”.

Suggs is president and CEO of Team Sizzle Worldwide, an independent film company based in Baltimore, Maryland, which has made five low-budget movies to date. He’s also offering licensed “Ball So Hard” merchandise and has a Facebook page too.

After Team Sizzle registered a trademark, the company’s lawyer sent a cease-and-desist letter to Bussells, who is also selling merchandise at BallSoHardU.com.

The legal notice says that use of the mark is false and misleading, creates confusion, and also violates Suggs’ rights of publicity.

Suggs’ menacing legal maneuvers have caused others selling “Balls So Hard” apparel to back down, but not yet Bussells. What’s going in
Bussells’ favor is that he got to the trademark office first and Suggs might not have been the first to use the mark in commerce.

That honor seems to be enjoyed by Kanye West and Jay-Z, who rapped about how they “ball so hard” on their joint album released last year.

Suggs has acknowledged the inspiration, but he did take the joke further than the hip-hop superstars did by transforming it into a university, no matter BSHU’s low standards of admission.

Hruby On JoePa’s Ignorance ; Former PSU Coach, Possibly Not Acquainted With Perverted-Justice.com

Posted in Gridiron, Leave No Child Unbeaten, Sports Journalism, The Law at 5:00 pm by

Former Penn State head football coach Joe Paterno went public with his version of events surrounding his recent dismissal in the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse scandal, The PostGame’s Patrick Hruby takes great exception to Paterno telling the Washington Post’s Sally Jenkins his inability to fully comprehend Mike McQueary’s eyewitness account had something to do with his lack of familiarity with this kind of assault. Or to be more specific, “ I never heard of, of, rape and a man.” Hey, when you’re living and breathing football, 24-7, you might not have time to watch this, either.

In other words: a grown man and father of four children living in a modern America of newspapers and televisions and afterschool specials and public service announcements and To Catch a Predator has never, ever heard of child sex abuse of a boy. A supposed classics scholar cannot mentally conceive of pederasty, never mind that it was a common, accepted practice in ancient Greece. A professed Catholic is shocked, just shocked to the point of total cognitive shutdown by the utterly incomprehensible notion of a man sexually assaulting a boy, despite an unending series of headline-generating scandals that continue to rock the Vatican, scandals involving — to use Paterno’s terms — boys and rape and a man.

Really, JoePa? That’s your excuse?

Happy Valley might be an isolated, provincial throwback to an era of pep rallies and malted shakes; it is not a land of leprechauns and unicorns.

Similarly, Paterno said that the reason he reported McQueary’s allegation but declined to follow up – thereby fulfilling his bare minimum legal obligations, if not his moral ones – was because he felt inadequate to the task. As he told the Post, “I didn’t know exactly how to handle it and I was afraid to do something that might jeopardize what the university procedure was.” That sounds perfectly reasonable – assuming you know nothing about Paterno’s track record, his considerable campus clout and his demonstrated willingness to use it.


Coppock : In My Day, These Anonymous Douchebags Would’ve Been Crushed

Posted in Sports Radio at 9:37 pm by

Chicago’s sports talk outlet The Score 670 AM is celebrating their 20th anniversary, and in a valiant attempt to provide some historical perspective, Crain’s Ed Sherman quizzes a number of the town’s microphone fiends, past and present, about the station’s role in the local landscape. And who better to poll than the longtime competition in the form of legend-in-his-own mind Chet Coppock?

The Good: I remain very proud that I was the first guy the Score tried to hire (Mr. Coppock decided to stay at WMAQ). You have to salute them for what they’ve accomplished. Personally, I think (SCR afternoon host Dan Bernstein) is atrocious, but obviously there are people who are crazy about his act. I’ll always wonder if WSCR would have become so successful if it hadn’t had Mike North. He was the first guy who generated a buzz. Mike took the train down a different track.

The Bad: There is less emphasis on truly digging into a story. When I was doing (“Coppock on Sports”), I felt obligated to truly inform as well as entertain. We busted stories at least four times a week. For the most part, sports talk radio has become “guy talk.” That’s where the North factor kicks in. Right now, I don’t see any one sports guy who really has this town galvanized. Most of these guys couldn’t be identified in a police lineup. But, what the hell, apparently advertisers are buying into what’s being offered.

Jimmy Castor, RIP

Posted in record collector disease at 8:33 pm by

Tim Tebow’s (inevitable) playoff comeuppance aside, this has been a crummy January and here’s some more bad news for an ever-growing pile. City Sound Inertia reports vocalist/saxophonist/bandleader Jimmy Castor has made his exit from this mortal coil at the age of 64. “Troglodyte” isn’t merely one of the most recognizable samples of all-time ; there’s no way any halfway curious person could hear it with needing to experience the original.

Trent Tucker’s Moment In MLK Day History

Posted in Basketball at 2:17 pm by

While New York clings to a narrow 2nd quarter lead against Orlando this afternoon at MSG, we inevitably recall (again) one of the more spectacular Martin Luther King Day finales at the World’s Most Dysfunctional Arena, ie. Trent Tucker’s 1990 buzzer-beater versus Chicago with 0.1 seconds remaining. As a subsequent result of such hometown time-keeping, from ’91 onwards, any shot taking place with less than 0.3 seconds remaining is automatically disallowed. Last week, NY Magazine’s Joe DeLessio caught up with Tucker, who offers, “to have your name mentioned in today’s game, it’s nice to hear because it keeps you involved in the game.”

When you let the ball go, did you think it would count? Did you think 0.1 seconds was enough time to catch and shoot?
I did, just because it was the first year they’d gone to tenths of seconds on the game clock, so I felt if there was any time left on the game clock, you should be able to get a shot off. But I can remember the play just like it was yesterday. The play was designed to throw a lob pass to Patrick Ewing, but Michael Jordan read the play, and he took away that first option. And at that time, we didn’t have a second option. So I just kind of improvised and knew that Mark Jackson was up against the five-second count on the sideline. And I ran in front of him, and he gave me a little flip pass, and I turned and shot the ball as quickly as I could. And lucky for us on that day the ball went in.

It must be neat to have your name on a rule.
Yeah. It’s like, if basketball stays around for a long time, somehow, some way, my name will always be mentioned in that situation.


DeWitt : No Coincidence Between Angels’ Spending Spree, New TV Deal

Posted in Baseball at 9:16 pm by

St. Louis principal owner Bill DeWitt Jr.spoke at the Cardinals’ Winter Warm-Up fan festival Sunday, eager to contradict claims the club was less than aggressive in their attempts to retain free agent 1B Albert Pujols. Except, of course, they weren’t actually competing on a level playing field. From MLB.com’s Matthew Leach ;

“I think [Cardinals fans] realize that you can only do so much for a given player and compete year in and year out,” he said. “It’s not, is he worth X, or X times two? It’s how much can I afford to pay one player and put together a team that’s going to be competitive? That’s the whole jigsaw puzzle that all teams have. Some teams have more capacity. I don’t think there’s any secret, [the Angels] at their own press conference thanked FOX for their new [television rights package]. That certainly had a hand in it.”

As for one specific argument by Deidre Pujols, that she and her husband were “insulted” by a five-year offer from the club, DeWitt argued that it was an attempt to try something different after previous efforts hadn’t worked. Deidre Pujols spoke extensively to a radio station in St. Louis shortly after the deal with the Angels was completed.

“I think they made it clear that that initial offer, they weren’t happy with,” he said. “It really was a response to where we had been in the spring with a long-term contract with lower AAV [average annual value]. We got a sense that maybe shorter with a higher AAV might have some merit. But clearly, they were looking longer the whole way. But until you explore those things, you’re never really 100 percent sure.”

If By Some Wild Chance You Taped All Of This Weekend’s NFL Playoff Games…

Posted in Free Expression, Gridiron at 6:45 pm by

….and you’re still requiring some fearless forecasts, particularly those from North America’s “number one source for magic and conspiracy related football news,”  watch the above clip FIRST.


The First & Last Time Tim Tebow’s Public Display Of Faith Is Compared To Larry David’s

Posted in Gridiron, Religion at 10:18 pm by

(above : the Anti-Tebow)

As of this writing, Denver trails New England, 35-7, at halftime in the AFC Divisional Playoff, meaning there’s a good chance the orgy of Tim Tebow coverage will come to a merciful end, at least until next season’s training camp. While some hopped on the anti-Tebow bandwagon in the most predictable of ways, The Highland Park Patch’s Jacob Nelson quizzed panel as to why, in their expert opinions, public figures such as The 24-Year-Old Virgin, Chuck Norris, Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber feel free to give props to (their version of) a higher power, while wondering, “Why don’t famous Jews thank God the way famous Christians do?” I guess Yuri Foreman saying “Happy Hanukkah” doesn’t count.

“Jewish movie stars will go to high holidays, but they won’t advertise it on TV,” Rabbi Michael Sommer of Congregation B’Nai Torah said. “Unless you’re Larry David and you’re poking fun at it.”

What complicates this comparison is that famous Jews like Larry David maintain a culturally Jewish identity while disregarding any religious elements — something that doesn’t happen in Christianity, according to Rabbi Michael Schwab at North Shore Suburban Synagogue Beth El in Highland Park.

“You can identify yourself as a Jew and be proud of it … without being overtly connected to the religious side of things,” Schwab said. “That’s a little tougher to do with a Christian identity.”

Rabbi Evan Moffic at Congregation Solel in Highland Park, however, thinks the difference between how Tebow addresses his religion and how people like Larry David or Woody Allen address theirs comes down to intent.

“I think Tim Tebow is doing it as a source of pride,” Moffic said, “Woody Allen and others do it as a way of making jokes.”

Herbert Braunstein, a senior religion professor at Lake Forest College, agrees that Jewish celebrities, like Woody Allen, are more likely to make fun of their roots publicly than give thanks for them. These celebrities, he suggests, offer negative reflections on Jewish life that “comes from a lack of positive orientation of Jews other than bagels and lox.”

Flushing Teens Of 1971 Couldn’t Get Enough Wild, Shirtless Lyrics

Posted in History's Not Happening, New York, New York, Rock Und Roll at 1:22 pm by


….to say nothing of bong-rattling bass or competent drumwork.