12.19.12

Where Does The Scapegoat For Seattle’s INT-Turned-Hail-Mary-TD Go To Get His Life Back?

Posted in Gridiron, Mob Behavior at 9:05 pm by

“Does one moment in your life really define who you are?” That’s the question posted by former NFL replacement referee Lance Easley (above, right), who went from anonymous scab to national pariah with one spectacularly blown call last September. In the weeks and months since Easley gifted the Seahawks with an improbable last-second victory, he’s been the recipient of threats from persons who can’t seem to find Roger Goodell’s home address. From the Washington Post’s Kent Babb :

When Easley returned to work, a security guard stood watch for a month. Easley listened to his voice-mail. He heard one man say that he hoped Easley’s family died. There were dozens of them.

When he returned to officiating high-school football games, the feeling had changed. The eyes seemed on him, not the players. During officiating meetings, Easley’s peers whispered and laughed.

So when the time came to sign up this fall to officiate basketball games, Easley stepped aside. He doesn’t know if he’ll return to basketball.

“I don’t want to be a distraction,” Easley says in a Santa Maria gym. “And what if I make another controversial call?”

Lawton : Balotelli’s The Worst Sort Of Anarchist

Posted in Football, General at 8:19 pm by

Though Mario Balotelli has dropped his tribunal appeal of Manchester City’s two weeks-without-pay censure for penchant for collecting red and yellow cards, in the view of The Independent’s James Lawton, the Palermo-born striker, “has come to represent the game at its anarchic worst”.

His surly walks down the tunnel after fresh examples of his failure to understand the rigours of anything resembling professionalism have become a persistent rebuke to the operating standards of one of the world’s richest football clubs. In the end it doesn’t really matter how you categorise his offences. Whether they are the product of wilful arrogance and disrespect for a game which has rewarded him so bountifully, or simply unshakeable evidence of a disordered psyche, the result is the same. It is relentless disruption of the team, paid for at a rate of £170,000 a week.

Whatever the verdict, City are obliged to see the outcome as the end of an experiment in trust and faith. In terms of natural justice, they were entitled to deduct not two but 10 weeks of unearned salary. Certainly they must see Balotelli’s decision to fight their decision as the last chapter of an extremely futile story.

12.18.12

Bucketsball’s Schmidt : Real Milwaukee Fans Want The Sucking To Start In Earnest

Posted in Basketball, Blogged Down at 7:35 pm by

While the casual observer would see a dichotomy between the Bucks’ respectable 12-10 start and the club’s most home attendance figures thus far (avg. 13,711, 28th in the Association), Bucketsball’s Jeremy Schmidt “applauds Milwaukee for not falling for” a team that’s “12 deep with average to above average players”.

Without a star, there’s little hope in Milwaukee. Sure, it’s not so simple as to declare “IT IS TIME TO REBUILD” and have a star fall into your lap, but certainly there is more the Bucks could have done over the past few years to get a star. There has been no effort made to take steps necessary to secure a top level talent for the Bucks since the 2009 draft. Instead, the organization has been steadfast in its quest for a first round exit from the playoffs for the past three seasons.

I don’t know exactly the reasoning behind the drive for mediocrity, but logic would indicate that the risk of blowing up a team would be too great. Fans would stay away while the Bucks rebuilt themselves over a three or four years period. Shooting for the playoffs in theory would be a more noble cause. One that fans could get behind.

But fans are not getting behind these Milwaukee Bucks, regardless of their cause. The attendance numbers speak for themselves. Sure, the Bucks are sixth in the Eastern Conference as of today, but their resume is fraudulent. They’re a house built on a shoddy frame, one that can’t really survive the wear and tear of time and it appears the fans are aware of it.

Dickey’s Gone And Mets Fans Are Left To Envy Those In Big Markets

Posted in Baseball at 6:28 pm by

Though the haul of Travis D’Arnaud and Crocs-hating Noah Snydergaard represents some hope for the future, those of us who still give a hoot about the New York Mets had to feel just a tad queasy upon hearing R.A. Dickey call his new club, Toronto, “an organization that’s committed to winning and putting a product on the field that the fans can be excited about coming to support.” As opposed to, y’know, an organization so financially depressed, none of the cost savings afforded by losing Dickey, Jason Bay or deferring some of David Wright’s deal can reasonably be expected to be spent on new talent. As Capital New York’s Howard Megdal argues, “ownership is redirecting whatever funds it can from what would otherwise go toward player salaries for their survival…Sandy Alderson is building the Mets for 2015, while Fred Wilpon and his partners do what they can to stick around till then.”

With revenues continuing to plummet at Citi Field, and enormous loans to service, the team has been cannibalized, with the results clear for anyone to see. Alderson can keep building the minor league system, as he has done, to his credit. But the situation on the field in Flushing is dire in the meantime, and through no fault of Alderson’s.

No one could be expected to fill an outfield, add a starting pitcher, find a backup catcher and, oh right, fix a bullpen that finished 29th in the league in E.R.A. last season with the resources the Mets owners have reportedly put at his disposal
.

There’s no real way around spending, either. The Mets don’t have much to give up on the trade market, and a new collective bargaining agreement, with caps and strict penalties, has restricted other shortcut options like international and over-slot signings.

There’s So Much More To Dan Gilbert Than Comic Sans

Posted in Basketball at 3:34 pm by

For instance, there’s his temper. “The Decision begot The Letter.,”  writes SI.com’s Todd Jones on the matter of Cavs owner Dan Gilbert’s now-legendary “oh yeah, well fuck you, too!” response to LeBron James bolting Cleveland in favor of Miami in June of 20120. “He makes bold, incendiary statements that fit the perceived oversized injustice. Volume cranked to 11, he puts the rallying call out there in comic sans, a font he began using on interoffice e-mails eight years ago just to be different.” What a treat for Quicken Loans employees!

“For some reason, they really use that as the lens that they see everything through — a comic sans letter that was written about a basketball player,” Gilbert says. “I knew it was unusual and emotional, but it shocks me how much legs it had on a national scale.”

“I’m sure I’m not the coolest head in the world,” Gilbert says. His comic sans diatribe on the team’s website immediately after The Decision wasn’t unique. Other business relationships had ended in less than ideal fashion. In 2007, he fired David Hall, senior vice president of Rock Financial, part of the Quicken Loans family. Two years later, the two men reportedly got into a screaming, physical altercation at a bar mitzvah at a posh suburban Detroit hotel. Police looked into the matter, but charges weren’t filed. A less public outburst occurred five years ago when Comerica Inc., a financial service company with assets of $58 billion, announced it was moving the company’s headquarters from Detroit to Dallas. The bank’s CEO happened to be a Texas native. Gilbert responded by pulling all of Quicken Loans’ accounts from Comerica and transferring them to another bank.

The letter came back at him in June like a vengeful boomerang as James won his championship with the Miami Heat. A snark attack of Twitter jokes flew at Gilbert about him being on suicide watch. Someone rewrote his letter for comic effect. Get over it Cleveland. James obviously made the right decision in leaving, right? Gilbert tweeted congratulations to both teams while not mentioning James by name, just as he’s called him “that player” in public and worse in private the past two years. Pettiness seems entrenched.

12.17.12

FC Zenit Saint Petersberg Fans Insist Their Cultural Pride Is Being Mistaken For Racism

Posted in Football, Racism Corner at 10:19 pm by

Russian club Zenit St. Petersberg have an all-white XI and a percentage of their fans would like it to stay that way. Reuters reports a supporter’s group is pressuring the club to refrain from signing or purchasing black or gay players.

“We’re not racists but we see the absence of black players at Zenit as an important tradition,” Zenit fan club Landscrona said in a letter, called the “Selection 12 manifesto”, posted on its website on Monday. “It would allow Zenit to maintain the national identity of the club, which is the symbol of St Petersburg.”

Zenit have been the only top club in Russia to have never signed an African player while the northern city of St Petersburg is known to have a strong right-wing nationalist influence.

The fans said they want more home-grown or European players in the team. “We only want players from other brotherly Slav nations, such as Ukraine and Belarus as well as from the Baltic states and Scandinavia. We have the same mentality and historical and cultural background as these nations,” the letter said.

They also expressed their opposition to having “sexual minorities” in the team. Several prominent black players have turned down lucrative offers from the wealthy club over the past 12 months after receiving death threats from Zenit fans. A Zenit spokesman said on Monday the club would not comment on the fans’ letter.

CSTB’s Top Recorded Works Of The First 50 Weeks Of 2012

Posted in Internal Affairs, Rock Und Roll at 9:07 pm by

(most of this list previously appeared elsewhere.  If you have a problem with that, kind in mind it is very long and I still managed to diss some tremendous folks by omission – GC)

Wiccans – Field II (Katorga Works)
Tyvek – On Triple Beams (In The Red)
Protomartyr – No Passion, All Technique (Urinal Cake)
Sun Kil Moon – Among The Leaves (Calo Verde)
Jennifer O’Connor – I Want What You Want (Kiam)
OBN III’s – s/t (Tic Tac Totally)
Lamps – Under The Water Under The Ground (In The Red)
Nazi Gold – A Message Of Love (Super Secret)
Swans – The Seer (Young God)
Cheap Time – Wallpaper Music (In The Red)
Mordecai – s/t (Killer Tree)
bailterspace – Strobosphere (Fire)
Dan Melchior – The Backward Path (Northern Spy), Excerpts and Half-Speeds (Kye)
Woolen Kits – Four Girls (Trouble In Mind)
Hank Wood & The Hammerheads – Go Home (Toxic State)
G.Green – Crap Culture (Mt. St. Mountain)

Cop City /Chill Pillars – Hosed (Florida’s Dying)
GR – A Reverse Age (Mexican Summer)
Dikes Of Holland – Braindead USA (Screamers)
The Mad Scene – Blip (Siltbreeze)

singles

Spray Paint – “Pro Knife” , “Squaw” b/w “Psychic Doug” (SSR)
Spray Paint – “Spock Fingers” b/w “Pink Pus” (SSR)
Gary Wrong – “Heroin Beach” b/w ” Mayhem Troopers” (Batshit)
Recide – Statues EP (Even Worse)

Pink Reason – “Ache For You” b/w “Darken Daze” (Savage Quality)
Flesh Lights – Too Big To Fail 2X 7″ (Super Secret)
Total Control – “Scene From A Marriage” b/w “Contract” (Sub Pop)
A Burning Bus – “Anti” b/w “Paranoid Paradise” (Harvest Recordings)
Useless Eaters – The Moves EP (Jolly Dream)
Watery Love – “New Kind Of KIck” b/w “A Condom” (Negative Guest List)
Ex-Cult – “M.P.D.” b/w “No Fun On The Beaches” (Goner)
The Best – “Black Triangle” b/w “King Of The Underground” (Twistworthy)
Outer Spaces – “Civilization’s Dying” (mp3)
A Giant Dog – “Dammit Pomengrante” b/w “Can’t Complain” (Tic Tac Totally)
Protomartyr – ‘Colpi Probibiti’ EP (X!)
Satanic Rockers – “Eviction” b/w “Rat Versus Boredom” (Quemada)

wayback machine :
Harry Pussy – Let’s Build A Pussy (Editions Mego),
Toy Love – ‘Live At The Gluepot’ (Goner)
Black Task – Blacktask/Spikes To The Wall (Radio Raheem)
Feedtime – Today Is Friday (SSR), box set (Sub/Pop),
The Pin Group – ‘Retrospective’ (Siltbreeze)
Soggy – Slog (Memoire Neuve)

live : Monoshock, (Hemlock Tavern, SF, July), Destruction Unit (Beerland and The Grand, Austin, March, Red 7, Austin, July and November), Pygmy Shrews finale (285 Kent, Brooklyn, February) Bits Of Shit (Beerland, Austin, September, Hi-Tone Lounge, Memphis, September), Gary Wrong Group (Hi-Tone Lounge, Memphis, September), SsserpentssS (Austin, too many times), Shellac (Lincoln Theatre, Chicago, August) Mark Kozelek (Scottish Rite Theatre, Austin, September), Swans (LaZone Rosa, Austin), Feedtime (Beerland, Austin, April, Midnight (Beerland, Austin, June), Puffy Areolas (Beerland, Austin, March), ), Sonny Vincent & The Bad Reactions (Beerland, Austin, May), Death Of Samantha (Trailer Space, Austin, March), Wussy (Mohawk, Austin, June)

Mason Crosby : Still Better At Kicking FG’s Than Dwight Howard At Free Throws

Posted in Gridiron at 12:48 pm by

Were Mason Crosby batting .500 for the Milwaukee Brewers, he’d be the idol of millions. At least until someone pointed out that batting average is a poor indicator of idol viability.  However, as kicker for the NFC North Champion Green Bay Packers, Crobsy finds himself the subject of intense scrutiny, with a recent run of poor form (12 for 24 in his last 8 games) causing CBS Sports’ Grgeg Doyel to call him, “a freak show, so unreliable that his coach now treats that side of the field like 4th down territory.”

It started when the doors opened to the Packers’ locker room and about 50 media members headed toward Crosby’s locker. Truth be told, his locker was only 10 feet from Jones’ locker — and seeing how he caught three touchdown passes, lots of the media were in the vicinity for the receiver, not the kicker.

That’s what Crosby was thinking as he put on one dress shirt and folded another, folding it so well he could work at The Gap. He was meticulous with that shirt, is what I’m telling you, and after placing the shirt in his bag he headed for the exit when he walked right into me and another reporter. Wide-eyed, Crosby realized we were there to talk not to the receiver, but to the kicker. The questions came. So did the answers.

“We won the division,” Crosby said. I’ve done some great things…this is a team sport.”

“Winning the game is all that matters.”

On and on he went, treating his struggle like something that’s real only if he acknowledges it. So he refused to acknowledge it.

12.16.12

Lance’s Biggest Apologist : I’ve No Beef WIth Armstrong

Posted in cycling, Sports Journalism at 5:01 pm by

Of Washington Post columnist Sally Jenkins’ comments concerning disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong long after the pairs co-authored  ‘Every Second Counts’ and ‘Not About The Bike’, The Seattle Weekly’s Mike Seely writes, “she  could have limited herself to commenting on the man to whom she was exposed, even mentioned his maintained innocence and her lack of knowledge about its veracity. Instead, she attacked the USADA and the system, providing a quasi-defense of her co-author. That column breached an ethical demarcation.” Jenkins (above), for her part, took to the pages of the WaPo on Saturday to insist she bears no animus towards her notorious subject.

Maybe I’m not angry at Lance because, after reading the rider affidavits, I think it’s apparent that all of the people associated with him are responsible for themselves and their choices, just as I was. If Floyd Landis, Tyler Hamilton, Christian VandeVelde and Dave Zabriskie took EPO during the Tour de France, it wasn’t because Lance Armstrong shot them in their butts with it. I enjoyed and profited from my association with Lance when he was on top, and so did his fellow riders. Lance never made me write a single paragraph in “It’s Not About the Bike” or the sequel “Every Second Counts,” and the vast majority of them, I stand by as honest. Such as this one: “Cycling is so hard, the suffering is so intense, that it’s absolutely cleansing.”

Maybe I’m not angry at him because after reading the USADA report and the affidavits of the riders who spoke with USADA, I have some common-sense questions that preclude anger. Such as: Shouldn’t an organization with the initials U.S. in front of it have to follow due process? And: According to the affidavits, the U.S. Postal Team had a highly organized “doping” system in place long before Lance became a member of it, so why is he the target of this report? Or: The affidavits taken by USADA make it clear that while Lance refused to use HGH, Floyd Landis introduced it to younger riders, so why is the federal government considering giving Landis whistle-blower protection?

Maybe I’m not angry at Lance because I don’t understand those people who are bitterly angry to discover that he is not Santa Claus, while ignoring the very real and useful presents he delivered. Not toys, not hagiography, but the simple yet critical lesson that a third medical opinion can save your life.

Pirates Management Cannot Possibly Answer Every Question About Sucking

Posted in Baseball at 4:03 pm by

When Pittsburgh team president Frank Cooley and GM Neal Harrington chairman promise mental toughness from their charges going forward, who dares doubt the organization’s solid background in that department? From the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette’s Bill Brink :

Within the first 10 minutes of the question-and-answer session with Pirates management at PirateFest Friday night David L. Lawrence Convention Center, a season ticket-holder reached brass tacks.

“After the fiasco of the last two Augusts and Septembers, what can you say that would encourage people, fans, to invest our time, our hearts and our money in this franchise that has now failed for 20 years?” the man asked, drawing applause from the crowd.

Team president Frank Coonelly responded: “We’re going to learn from the good times We’re going to learn from being 16 games over .500. We’re also going to learn from the fact that we have failed over the end of the season and we’re going to figure out how to finish. We’re going to figure out how to be not only physically tough enough to make it through that grind for an entire year, but to be mentally tough enough as well.

Asked about how to prevent another second-half drop in 2013, general manager Neal Huntington stressed physical and mental toughness to play through an entire season.

12.15.12

Leonsis Tells Public, “Reports Of My Being A Cheap Motherfucker Are Highly Exaggerated”

Posted in Basketball at 5:23 pm by

Earlier this week, the Washington Post’s Michael Lee reported the Wizards rejected a sign and trade deal to acquire OKC’s James Harden due to ownership’s reluctance to commit to a 5-year, $80 million contract for the reigning NBA Sixth Man of The Year.  Earlier today, Wizards/Capitals owner Ted Leonsis denied Lee’s claims, while also reminding us, “as I look at box scores from around the league, I see many games that can be considered blowouts, but our team has been very competitive and we have had plenty of fourth-quarter opportunities.”

As a matter of principle, I think it is bad form to publicly share trade-related discussions and conversations about players who are under contract with other teams. I would like to debunk though a statement and notion that originated in The Washington Post that a potential trade would have put our team in the luxury tax and thus we “turned down” a deal because we were “unwilling to commit” financially. That is simply not true. First, we would not have gone into the luxury tax – that is simple math. Second, economics were not a factor.

I am not shy about making financial investments in our teams. Simply look at the history of the Capitals and see the progression of our payroll. Additionally, the Wizards used the amnesty provision this past offseason as a financial tool to reconfigure our team. It is public knowledge that we have taken on some of the most significant contracts in the NBA and NHL. We have a track record, and these are concrete examples. Our fans know we will invest in our teams.

I hope this sets the record straight, and if the anonymous sources would like to debate the facts and what I know to be the truth, then I welcome them to come forward. Thank you.

12.14.12

Bastia Sporting Director Bonavita Is Hungry For Justice (And Soon, Food)

Posted in Football, Mob Behavior at 6:02 pm by

French club Bastia’s home matches will resemble Mets games at Citi Field for a while, with the Ligue 1 side’s supporters banned from Stade Armand Cesar, a scenario that’s pushed the club’s 73-year-old Sporting Director Jo Bonavita into a hunger strike. From the AFFP :

“I will continue my hunger strike until this ban is lifted,” he said. “The League and (president) Frederic Thiriez want to destroy Bastia and even if I am 73 years old and a lot of people have warned me of the risks I am running, I will carry on my hunger strike to support all those families whose livelihood depends on the club.”

“We get the impression that Bastia are a thorn in the side of Ligue 1,” said midfielder Jerome Rothen. “The club and the players will not allow themselves to be destroyed and we’ll be a thorn in their side for even longer,” he said.

“All they want is to kill the club off. When I played at Paris St Germain, every time we travelled to Marseille, the team bus was pelted with stones. Much more serious incidents than those at Furiani occurred during those matches and Marseille never had their stadium closed down.”

Rutgers To Mike Rice : Kindly Refrain From Throwing Balls At Players’ Heads

Posted in Basketball, College Spurts at 5:42 pm by

If you’ve ever wondered about Rutgers’ commitment to making their men’s basketball team a national force, rest assured they’ve (currently) got a head coach worthy of comparisons to Bobby Knight or Billy Gilispie. Sadly, those comparisons have nothing to do with recruiting prowess or winning basketball games, but rather, the ritual abuse of the undergrads they supervise. MyJerseyCentral’s Jerry Carino explains :

Rutgers announced it was suspending Rice for three games and fining him $50,000 for “inappropriate language and behavior” directed at players during practices.

Pernetti’s microscope will intensify when Rice returns from suspension Dec. 29. The third-year coach will have to undergo anger management counseling and be observed by a monitor who will chronicle his behavior in practice, New Jersey Press Media has learned. The independent monitor, who is not affiliated with the program, will report directly to Pernetti.

According to a report by NJ.com, Rice’s inappropriate behavior included throwing basketballs at players’ heads in practices. Rice was Pernetti’s first major hire as athletics director, and those with knowledge of the decision-making process say he wants to give the coach every possible chance to succeed.

There is one other mitigating factor. Former director of player development Eric Murdock was quoted by NJ.com as saying, “there are some legal things going on” and “eventually a lot of stuff will come to light and it’s not going to shed a good light on Rutgers University.”

12.13.12

There’s No Need For Texas To Bury Josh Hamilton On His Way Out The Door…

Posted in Baseball at 9:02 pm by

…not when there’s an Angels blogger more than up to the task.  Following today’s announcement the Los Angeles Angels — no doubt mindful of their crosstown rivals paying a boatload for Zach Greinke — have signed free agent OF Josh Hamilton (above, right) to a 5-year, $125 million deal, Rev Halofan of Halo Heaven declared, “aiming at marketing to the Crystal Meth Christians of the Inland Empire, Arte’s billboard machine will be saturating the 909 with a new ferocity.”   How’s that for rolling out the red carpet?

He is old and injury-prone.

He wears his sobriety on his sleeve as a ready-made excuse to stay infantilized.

Using his blue eyes as an excuse for a slump.

Wife holds all his money.

Needs a permanent babysitter.

Remember when he dropped the ball in the most critical game of the season? Jogging toward the dugout and did not even notice he was choking.

If a reserve utility infielder was sober, would the team celebrate with Ginger Ale in his honor?

The Houston Rockets – The Worst Thing To Happen To Hanukkah Songs Since Adam Sandler

Posted in Basketball, Religion at 9:01 pm by

They really could’ve used Royce White’s help with this one.

If The Attorney General Can Summon 12 Bodyguards, Surely Matthew Modine Should Have Twice That Many

Posted in Basketball at 4:34 pm by

During last night’s coverage of the 12/12/12 Sandy Benefit at MSG, Brian Williams remarked (repeatedly) that one “couldn’t swing a dead cat” without clobbering a big name celeb, and given the fundraiser’s phone bank at one point included Walt Frazier, Allan Houston, John Starks and Amare Stoudemire, you also couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting inactive Knicks being paid top dollar by James Dolan.  Still, these are exciting, credibility-resurrecting times for Dolan’s NBA franchise, with the team off to such a solid start, hardly anyone is holding America’s worst blues guitarist accountable for doing nothing to solve the NHL lockout.   Given that it oughta take more than two months of inspired basketball to wipe out all the damage done during Dolan’s ownership, former NY Times writer Selena Roberts — author of “A-Rod: The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez” —- recalls one of the press-phobic genetic lottery winner’s more embarrassing moments (thought there are plenty to choose from) (link swiped from Ball Don’t Lie’s Kelly Dwyer) :

On one game night in 2003, two dapper gentlemen were sitting at a table in the suite, circled by 12 security guards with earpieces. Real motorcade stuff. In walks Dolan.
Observers in the room saw Jim stop and stare at the scene. He then crooked his finger at a Garden official, which, with Dolan, is always code for: Get the hell over here. In a conversation in front of several guests — and in detail that has become Garden lore among employees — Dolan had the following discussion:
“Who are they?” says Jim, eyeballing the two distinguished-looking gentlemen. He was told the two men were important foreign dignitaries.
“Who are all the other guys,” asks Jim.
“They’re secret service.”
“They can’t have 12 bodyguards,” says Jim, now completely irritated. “I don’t care who they are. I have one bodyguard and I’m the owner of the goddamn team.”
“Well,” says the Garden executive, overheard trying to lighten the mood, “You’ll have to call John Ashcroft and tell him they can’t have 12.”
And then Jim says (wait for it, wait for it), “Who’s John Ashcroft?”

Given that Dolan’s more of a Joe Walsh kinda guy, could you really expect him to recognize the dude from The Verve?

First Take’s Rob Parker : Proving That Being Full Of Shit For A Living Is Not The Exclusive Territory Of Skip Bayless

Posted in Gridiron, Racism Corner, Sports Radio at 2:54 pm by

Though the ESPN morning atrocity-exhibition otherwise known as “First Take” has already demonstrated an inability to discuss Redskins QB Robert Griffin III without considering his blackness first and foremost, on Thursday, the program sunk to unimaginable new lows with the following commentary from Rob Parker ;

That’s right, Stephen A. Smith — in this instance, anyway — is the voice of reason.  For the those of you who’ve not experienced Parker’s insights previously, here’s a little background on his fascinating career trajectory :

“Readers Of The Detroit News Won’t Have Rob Parker To Kick Around Anymore”  -  Jan, 6, 2009
“Rob Parker Finally Comes Up With A Good Joke, Apologizes“  – Dec. 22, 2008
“Rob Parker’s Popularity Continues To Slide In East Lansing”  – Oct. 29, 2008

12.12.12

After Pissing Off Mike D’Antoni, TJ Simers Nearly Reduces Dwight Howard To Tears

Posted in Basketball at 10:47 pm by

Though we’re a night removed from LA Times columnist TJ Simers baiting Lakers coach Mike D’Antoni to distraction, on Wednesday Simers shares the results of a Hard Rock Cafe luncheon with C Dwight Howard, who the former claims, “wants only to please people, so much so that it’s almost crippling” (“he’s now working with Kobe Bryant to learn how to not care so much what people think. He has found the master.”)

Howard says he won’t shoot the jump shots in games that he routinely makes in practice.

“I hate missing,” he says. “I hate missing so much, I miss. You know why? I’m always thinking I’m going to miss this and then disappoint everyone.”

He’s a head case, I suggest, and he replies, “In a nice way,” his desire to make others happy a lifelong way of life.

He says that when LeBron James won the championship he cried, thrilled for LeBron and upset he wasn’t playing.

When Orlando lost to the Lakers in the 2009 Finals, he says he cried himself to sleep listening to Eminem sing about getting only one shot in “Lose Yourself.”

He says he recently saw the new Tom Cruise movie, “Jack Reacher,” and when some people were killed, he nearly cried.

He cries a lot.

Souhan : Love’s Feud With Management Is KG Pt. II

Posted in Basketball at 6:09 pm by

“You walk into the locker room every year, and it’s completely turned over,” Love says. “There’s new guys everywhere. And then it happens again and again. You start to wonder: Is there really a plan here? Is there really any kind of a … plan?”

Minnestoa C Kevin Love refused to back down from the strong stance he took with Yahoo Sports’ Adrian Wojnarowski Tuesday, today telling reporters that while he’s sorry he took his gripes public, “I meant what I said, I told (General Manager) David Kahn there’s nothing to apologize about.” The Minneapolis Star-Tribune’s Jim Souhan finds the situation reminiscent of what the Timberwolves went thru with Kevin Garnett, warning the club’s owner Glen Taylor, “Love is the second player in franchise history who has attained sustainable stardom. The Wolves need him a lot more than he needs them.”

What Love said about the leadership of Taylor and Kahn is exactly what you hear from inside the Wolves organization, and what anyone paying close attention could have discerned without inside information.

The past two years, the Wolves have continued to wade through mediocrity. Only now they have coach Rick Adelman and his staff, and Love, acting as stilts, elevating the franchise from abysmal to intriguing.

There is one positive possibility for Kahn: If Love leaves because of him, we’ll forget all about his other mistakes: drafting umpteen point guards, choosing Jonny Flynn over Steph Curry, signing Darko, trading for Michael Beasley and hiring Kurt Rambis.

Losing Love would trump all.

Paging All Ethnic Singers In Central Texas

Posted in Austin, Rock Und Roll at 2:05 pm by

I’m sure when the owner of Bikini’s purchased the Scoot Inn, this is the very sort of rich talent pool he knew he’d be drawing from.

12.11.12

Loose-Lipped Mets P.R. Dept : R.A. Dickey Is The Grinch That Killed Xmas

Posted in Baseball, Merry Fucking Christmas at 9:24 pm by

For those who believed the New York Mets’ options with Cy Young Award winning SP R.A. Dickey were limited to trading the 38-year-old, signing him to an extension or allowing him to walk after the 2013 season, there is another approach. Namely, assail Dickey’s otherwise sterling character with a pathetic whispering campaign.

Dickey and teammate Ike Davis were on hand to greet kids from P.S. 43 and the Scholars’ Academy in Far Rockaway, Queens at the Mets’ annual holiday party Tuesday, with the former taking the opportunity to answer reporters’ questions about the protracted contract negotiations and what he considers a below-market-value discount he’s offered the club.

(video link swiped from MetsBlog)

Given that one of those reporters was Kevin Burkhardt from the Mets-owned SNY, surely someone could’ve said, “hey, let’s not talk about the contract situation — even though that’s the most obvious line of questioning and we’d be fools to ignore it.” Or perhaps the club could’ve said to Dickey, “you might be an ex-Met in 24 hours. Maybe you should sit this party out — Frank Francisco can hand out presents.”

Instead, the often-forthright Dickey spoke his mind, and the club has let it be known via the New York Post’s Mike Puma they’re “unhappy” he used this most sacred of community events as a vehicle to lobby his case.

Putting aside for a moment that the Mets are unwilling to pull the trigger on a 2-year, $26 million extension for Dickey when the Kansas City Royals can find $25 million over 3 years for Jeremy Guthrie (2012 ERA : 4.78), can Dickey really be blamed for saying what everyone else is thinking? Sandy Alderson wants other clubs to give up players of serious value for Dickey, but not only is he unwilling to pay the player what he’s worth, the club is dopey enough to try and poison the reservoir of goodwill he’s established.

Of course, this comes courtesy of the same ownership group that thought Anna Benson would make a great Mrs. Claus at a kids’ party.

A-Rod : My Rep As A Preening Narcissist Is Highly Exaggerated

Posted in Baseball, Modern Art at 6:21 pm by

Though the New York Daily News’ “Confidenti@l” gossip column neglected to cover the Thurston Moore/Rat Bastard/Kenny Millions collaboration that took place at Miami’s Art Basel, the paper’s trio of Carso Griffith, Brian Niemietz and Lisa Lang did manage to catch up with injured Yankees 3B Alex Rodriguez. A-Rod, likely to be Kevin Youkilis’ understudy when and if he returns to active duty, denied the second most prominent rumor about his off-field activity.

“No, I do not have a painting of my upper body on a Minotaur,” he told Confidenti@l at a toy drive over the weekend. “I don’t know where they get that stuff.”

The story, first reported by Us Weekly in 2009, had a former fling of A-Rod’s claiming two “centaur” paintings hung above the third baseman’s bed.

ESPN’s DC Radio Outlet : Apologies For The Transphobia

Posted in Are You A Boy Or Are You A Girl?, Basketball, College Spurts, Hate Fuck Radio, Sports Radio at 1:32 pm by

Back in May of this year, Sirius/XM’s Dino Costa used his Twitter account to refer to Against Me! vocalist/guitarist Laura Jean Grace — formerly Tom Gabel — as “it”. Though Costa’s Twitter account has since been protected — a curious move for a broadcaster who routinely boasts he’s unafraid of controversy —- there’s no evidence The Yonkers Cowboy ever apologized or faced discipline for the remark. In slight contrast is Washington DC’s ESPN 980 and their handling of “The Sports Reporters”‘s Steve Czaban (above), Andy Pollin and Chris Knoche. Of Czaban calling 50 year old transsexual junior college basketball hopeful Gabrielle Ludwig, “it”, the station’s VP of Programming Chuck Sapienz promised, “such intolerance and insensitivity will never be tolerated by this company.” DC Sports Bog’s Dan Steinberg handles the transcription duties :

“That’s a man, baby,” Chris Knoche said near the beginning of the discussion.
“This photo won’t help you if you’re in the car, but let me give you the reaction of Knoche and Czabe: tattooed, big biceps,” Andy Pollin said.
“Oh my God,” Knoche said. “That could be a Russian chick….So how does this work? You lose testicles and gain eligibility?”
“This combines the worst of both worlds,” Steve Czaban said. “One, granting out of age eligibility, which should never happen….I think all college athletics should have an age limit, and it should be something like 25. That’s No. 1. No. 2, the whole gender-bender thing. You know, whatever you’ve got to do to scratch that inner itch or quell those inner demons, that’s fine. But don’t go playing sports then.”
“I completely agree,” Knoche said.
“And don’t go playing sports, saying but I’ve got the rights of everyone else,” Czaban continued. “Yeah, you’ve got to the rights to live as a human being with other people respecting you and everything else, but athletics is different. And a man’s body and a man’s DNA is different than a woman’s. That’s why we have separate leagues for separate genders.”
“I don’t care how loose the rules are in that junior college league, that’s just not supposed to happen,” Knoche said.
“I mean, if Knoche had eligibility, he would not give up his testicles to go play women’s basketball,” Pollin joked. “He’d think about it, though.”
“So what’s the net-net of the story, because I’m not gonna read it,” Czaban asked.
“The net-net is she/he has had a lot of problems in his/her life….” Pollin said.
“I think it is the politically correct term,” Czaban said.

Out Sports’ Cyd Zeigler Jr. heard Czaban and Pollin’s on-air apology Monday and called it, “among the least sincere non-apologies in history” (“the only things they’re really be sorry for are being caught, and also how overly sensitive the faggots and the trannies are these days”).

12.10.12

The Trashing Of Jeff Francoeur Knows No Offseason

Posted in Baseball, Blogged Down, Gridiron, Sports TV at 11:38 pm by

Under what possible circumstances could Royals RF Jeff Francoeur find himself the subject of repeated CSTB references in early December? Sadly, neither occasion coincides with Francoeur’s retirement, but instead concerns ESPN’s recently-aired, “You Don’t Know Bo” documentary.  While admiring of Bo Jackson’s multi-sport highlight reel, Sports Media Watchdog’s Mike Silva argues, “though he was, at times, a borderline All-Star in baseball, he would have best been served at being a full-time football player.” (SMW link lifted from Repoz and Baseball Think Factory)

For as much of a specimen Jackson was on the baseball field, he was a high-strikeout, low average home run hitter. His best season, 1989, saw him strikeout 172 times to just 39 walks.  Today, his career .309 OBP would overshadow any of his muscles or athletic plays on the field. From 1986-1990, there were 141 players with a higher Wins Above Replacement than Jackson. Among them were Brett Butler, Mike Greenwell and current Mets third base coach Tim Teufel. None of those individuals had national commercials or an ESPN documentary made about them.

Bo Jackson could have been a Hall-of-Fame NFL running back. In baseball, he was nothing more than another high-strikeout power hitter in an era full of them. If we had the knowledge of what makes a good ballplayer courtesy of some modern day statistical theories and common sense, Bo Jackson probably would be treated with as much skepticism as another Kansas City Royals outfielder – Jeff Francoeur.

The Last Known Words Of TD Garden’s Offical Scorekeeper : “Take Me To Logan Airport”

Posted in Basketball at 10:37 pm by

“….and step on it.”