01.03.13

The Mayor Would Like One Modestly-Sized Soda (And An Injured Stephen Jackson)

Posted in Basketball at 8:13 pm by

Clearly, Larry David would be well within his rights to tell New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg to stop stealing his material.

PAGING ARNOLD DIAZ : Dave Mustaine Had A Less Than Satisfactory Experience With Men’s Wearhouse

Posted in The Marketplace at 7:29 pm by

Droogies,

I know that not all of you have the kind of job that requires a suit, or wear a suit when you (if you) go to any kind of faith-based service, court date, wedding or funeral, but if you do…you are going to want to read this. You know me, I don’t complain much in writing, but I gotta get this off my chest.

A few days before Christmas I purchased a gift certificate from the Men’s Warehouse in Salt Lake City, Utah as a gift for our awesome tour manager Jim Carroccio. You know the Men’s Warehouse…the old geezer with the voice that sound like he has chain-smoked since he was a fetus; the one that espouses, “I absolutely guarantee you’re gonna like the way you look,” or some manure like that, right?

Well, I was talking to Jim today and wondering why he didn’t say anything (I think we all wonder sometimes when our loved ones or friends get gifts if they actually like them) and it turns out that they decided to hold my order, otherwise called by them as “pending,” and told no one. For almost 9 days now I have been waiting for delivery of this gift certificate, and I wouldn’t say anything because it IS the holidays, but these salesmen promised that they would GUARANTEE a two-day delivery of the certificate to Jim (it seems they throw this word GUARANTEE around quite a lot).

So, we called and asked what happened and they have no explanation whatsoever, they didn’t care, and when we asked if they were going to do anything to remedy this, they made no effort whatsoever for this mix-up…although they did promise me the same GUARANTEE that they gave me when I bought it; that is that they will send it “two-day delivery,” but I already was promised this. Maybe they mean 12 day delivery.

I really think that it sucks when people make false claims, that they don’t care to make good on a problem that is clearly their fault, and with all of the “ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE IT” crap I just had to say something. We are all living in very tight financial times right now, and like I said, you may not wear a suit for your job or for an event or occasion, but if you do, I would strongly recommend you wear someone else’s suits. Go to Jos. A Bank instead. I for one, will never set foot in a Men’s Warehouse, even for shelter from a blizzard.

I absolutely GUARANTEE it.

Dave Mustaine

Amar’e Stoudemire Takes The Least Surprising Of Veiled Shots At Mike D’Antoni

Posted in Basketball at 12:08 am by

You wouldn’t think Amar’e Stoudemire’s 2012-13 season debut in Tuesday night’s home loss to Portland would constitute enough of a sample size to determine just how doomed the Knicks might be with Stat and Carmelo Anthony simultaneously active, much as it shouldn’t be the final word on the former’s defensive deficiencies.  After all, he’s got an entire body of work to draw from! Perhaps with that in mind Stoudemire took pains to point out to anyone paying attention at Wednesday’s practice that Mike Woodson IS NOT MIKE D’ANTONI (who is to blame for almost everything wrong with the world).  From the NY Daily News’ Mitch Lawrence :

“I think having a defensive coach for the first time in my career is going to help,” Stoudemire said after practice in Greenburgh. “I’ve never been taught defense in my whole career. So to now have a coach who actually teaches defense and teaches strategies and knows positioning and posture and how to guard different plays, it’s going to be helpful.”

Coming off knee surgery that prevented him from playing the first 31 games, Stoudemire vowed to improve his defense in his new bench role.|

“I’m taking it as a challenge,” he said. “I’m going to accept the challenge. And I’m going to try to improve as a player.”

01.02.13

Suns’ Beasley, Taking Stock, Trying A New Look

Posted in Basketball at 4:32 pm by

Benched for a New Year’s Eve visit to Oklahoma City, the Suns’ Michael Beasley (above) sported a ski mask after the game, a sartorial move that unwittingly acknowledges he’s been stealing Phoenix’s money. Former Suns beat writer Paul Coro chatted with Beasley in Wednesday’s USA Today :

“Maybe it’s my fault,” Beasley said. “I’m going to watch film like I’ve been doing. I’m going to evaluate and critique myself and go from there. There ain’t nothing I can do but look forward and up. I’m already at the bottom so there really isn’t too many places I can look. I’m just ready for 2012 to be over, dating back to even last season. I’m going to keep coming into this game optimistic. I put enough hours in and take enough jump shots. I’m in the gym pretty much longer than anybody in the NBA. I’m going to stay optimistic and trust my game.”

Coach Gary Gentry said Beasley’s “DNP” on Monday was more circumstance because “we had a good rotation going” with P.J. Tucker’s one-time start.

“I ain’t got no choice but to believe in the coach,” Beasley said. “If you don’t believe in the coach, then we’re never going to have a winning system or atmosphere. Whatever Coach says, that’s what I’m going to do, even if I have to sit on the bench with a bag over my head.”

01.01.13

If It’s Too Loud, You’re Too Old Living Too Close To Spree’s House

Posted in Basketball, The Law at 9:40 pm by

During a week in which former dance partner P.J. Carlesimo returned to the sports headlines, former Warriors, Knicks and Timberwolves standout Latrell Sprewell ran afoul of authorities on New Year’s Day, though to be perfectly, this might not even be the 4th or 5th most exciting thing he’s ever been accused of.  From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel’s Raquel Rutledge :

Milwaukee native and former NBA star Latrell Sprewell was arrested for disorderly conduct Monday afternoon after police received repeated complaints about loud music coming from a house on E. Pleasant St. on Milwaukee’s east side, according to jail records reviewed by the Journal Sentinel Tuesday.

Police would not release details of the incident other than to report that police had received two complaints within one hour Monday afternoon and had received several complaints of loud music from the residence in recent months.

Sprewell’ ended his NBA career his career in 2005. According to media reports at the time, Sprewell turned down a $21 million three-year contract with the Timberwolves, suggesting the amount wasn’t enough to feed his children.

And with those 2005 reports firmly in mind, how great would it have been if Spree had been blasting this song all afternoon?

Lazar Hayward Sees Dead People

Posted in Basketball at 3:59 pm by

 

While Royce White’s endless dispute with the Houston Rockets is doing little to improve the nation’s dialogue on mental health (at least in the comments section of the Houston Chronicle), Timberwolves swingman Lazar Hayward tells the Minneapolis Star-Tribune’s Jerry Zgoda he’s recently sought the counsel of two LA-based mediums.

“I’ve always just had a lot of questions spiritually because I always kind of seen stuff when I was a kid and I used to tell friends and they’d look at me and say, ‘Lazar, you might need some help,’ ” he said laughing during a surreal post- practice conversation with reporters. “So they used to make fun of me. I just had a lot of questions because I’ve always just wondered.”

Hayward has a friend whom he claims has talked through such a medium to a brother who has been dead for six years. That relationship helped convince him to seek his own answers.

“I’ve actually been able to see a spirit,” Hayward said. “I can’t talk to them yet, but I have seen them.”

He has spent the past two months pursuing a path of what he calls “meditation and spiritual healing and living in an enlightened state” while also waiting for a road back to the NBA.