12.26.13

Area Woman Overreacts To The Closing Of Sound Exchange

Posted in Austin, Food, Mental Health, Rock Und Roll, The Law at 7:44 pm by

As you may or may not have read elsewhere, Daniel Johnson’s venerable “Hi, How Are You?” mural  —commonly recognized from the cassette and subsequent album of the same name (and years later on a t-shirt widely popularized by Kurt Cobain) was defaced Christmas Eve by  a woman who told Austin police the wall art, “was offensive and meant to personally insult her”.

While some of my fellow residents have made a number of rude remarks towards the accused vandal, I’m totally feeling her.  Every year when I see the list of bands confirmed to play the Austin Psych Fest, I find it offensive and personally insulting.

The building’s current owners, Thai How Are You (formerly Thai Spice), renamed their establishment after Johnston’s mural earlier this year.   It’s estimated it will cost nearly $1,000.00 to remove the spray-painted “FUCK”‘s from the mural, though surely some of the area’s more beloved local residents (Lance Armstrong, Michael Corcoran, Tobey Maguire, Cedric Benson, etc.) will scrape up whatever they can find in the seat cushions of their respective couches.

If you’re keeping score, this is the second December in a row a UT campus Thai eatery has made national news.   YOU’RE ON TAP FOR 2014, MADAM MAM’S.

12.25.13

Finally, A Pic Of Someone Sleeping On The Job Besides Mike Francesa

Posted in Basketball at 6:52 pm by

Why should Melo’s reaction be any different than mine? Who could stand to watch such a disgraceful exhibition?

But enough about the orange pajamas ; being blown out by 29 to OKC on Xmas Day was pretty awful, too.

Suiting Up For The Cowboys This Sunday : Oft-Concussed, Prankster Supreme

Posted in Gridiron, History's Not Happening at 1:30 pm by

Having passed on David Carr, Jeff George, Jim Plunkett and Y.A. Title as insurance against Kyle Orton getting hurt (or sucking) during Sunday’s winner-take-all (well, the NFC East) clash with Philadelphia, the Cowboys today signed 16 year NFL vet Jon Kitna. Whether the former Dallas backup will do more than hold a clipboard in 3 days time is unclear, but this October 31, 2007 CSTB item (“Detroit’s Kitna : Funnier Than Linklater’s ‘Fast Food Nation’”) reveals a QB that if nothing else, was a stickler for details.

The Detroit Free Press’ Carlos Monarrez on Jon Kitna’s contribution to the locker-room-culture debate.

Lions quarterback Jon Kitna said his choice to dress up at a Halloween party like assistant coach Joe Cullen was intended as a good-natured send up and part of the ribbing that is common in NFL locker rooms.

Kitna, a notorious prankster, said he merely was trying to win a costume contest at charity party in Plymouth held by receiver Mike Furrey on Monday. Kitna came dressed in a naked costume as Cullen, who was arrested and charged in the summer of 2006 with obscene conduct and drunken driving in separate incidents in Dearborn.

“People who understand an NFL locker room understand that when guys do things we joke with each other a lot,” Kitna said. “Now, would I have done it last year? No. I think it would have been too close to when the situation happened.”

Monarrez’ killjoy colleague Drew Sharp, though hardly amused (“Kitna crossed the line this time and owes Cullen an apology, if for nothing else but for pushing that embarrassing evening back to the forefront of local consciousness”) is quick to point out the Lions have a history of hot Halloween getups.

Scott Mitchell made headlines 10 years ago when he appeared at a team party masquerading as Wayne Fontes. Mitchell was in full Big Buck regalia. He had a cigar protruding from his mouth as well as some padded girth protruding from his belt. The coup de grace was the Mickey Mouse ears.

12.24.13

Let’s Hope He’s Got A Good Call Screener : Jim Leyritz’ New Gig

Posted in Baseball, Sports Radio at 5:09 pm by

On a day Howard Megdal raises the very strong probability of Kevin Burkhardt leaving SNY for the full time employ of Fox Sports, SNY might take a long look at the progress of another broadcasting hopeful, namely troubled ex-Yankee Jim Leyritz (above). Tapped to host a sports yack program for Southern California’s KLAA — property of Angels owner Artie Moreno — Leyritz’ hire seems curious to the LA Times’ Mike Di Giovanni given the Angels, “lost promising young pitcher Nick Adenhart to a drunk-driving accident in 2009.”

“(Leyritz’ DUI manslaughter acquittal) was in the past—he’s dealt with it, he’s open about it, and I’ll leave it at that,” KLAA program director Bob Agnew said. “We hired Jim based on his broadcast and baseball experience. He had an issue he has not hidden from. It’s not something to go backwards on. He has to live with what’s happened in the past.”

Leyritz, who retired after the 2000 season, previously co-hosted a show on MLB Network Radio and was a regular contributor to the “Michael Kay Show” on the New York City ESPN radio affiliate.

In his new position, Leyritz will team with KLAA’s Jason Brennan on a two-hour show called “Inside the Game.” It will air Monday through Friday from 1 to 3 p.m., beginning Jan. 6, and will cover all Southern California sports.

“After 10 years of radio and TV on the East Coast, I am excited to become part of Angels Radio AM 830,” Leyritz said in a press release. “Moving to Southern California three years ago, this is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for. I hope to bring special insights and interviews with important figures from inside and outside the world of sports.”

Congrats to anyone who wagered Leyritz would have a radio gig lined up for 2014 and Dino Costa wouldn’t.

From This Evening Forth, Coyotes G Mike Smith Is Contemplating Tightly Tucking In His Jersey

Posted in Hockey at 1:32 am by

If you’re thinking it would take a highly unusual NHL highlight to make it to CSTB on Xmas eve without featuring a deliberate-attempt-to-injure, a lengthy fight or a xenophobic remark from Don Cherry….well, guilty as charged. When the day began, Buffalo D Mark Pysyk was plying his trade for Rochester of the AHL. By the end of Monday night, not only had Pysyk’s improbable OT goal secured a 2-1 victory for the Sabres over the Coyotes, but he’s ensured a role in what ought to be one of the most replayed hockey highlights of all time. Until the next time a goalie gets a puck stuck in his pants, anyway.

12.23.13

Rios : Chicago Doesn’t Deserve Rose

Posted in Basketball at 1:56 pm by

Considering the grim road ahead and unfair burden shouldered by Bulls PG Derrick Rose, Sports On Earth’s Tomas Rios has harsh words for Chicago’s “incompetent medical staff” and head coach Tom Thibodeau’s “borderline sadistic player management policies”.  Rios’ most pointed criticisms, however, are spared for WSCR’s Dan Bernstein and Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf.

Gone for yet another season due to his existentially string-cheese knees, Rose, 25, is now fair-game for huckster columnists looking to play the Black Guy Is Not Humble game. Beyond an imagined humility deficiency, Dan Bernstein’s burning strawman fallacy takes cheap hits on Rose’s intelligence, diction, maturity and greed. We’ve heard this bit from white columnists criticizing black athletes more times than anyone could ever count. The impetus for this rhetorical bounty came about due to rumors that Rose is concerned about the team’s direction, which explains why Bernstein’s critiques focus on perception rather than fact. Here’s the uncomfortable truth: Rose should want out of Chicago.

Playing for a team owned by Jerry Reinsdorf isn’t helping any. Last season, the Bulls paid the luxury tax for the first time in franchise history and only did so because Rose’s torn ACL made signing Kirk Hinrich a necessity. This despite the team recently posting a five-year average annual profit of $55 million that makes them by far the league’s most profitable franchise.

While Reinsdorf has repeatedly said that he would be willing to pay the luxury tax for a “winner,” this is in direct contradiction to the fact that the team’s marquee free-agent signing in the Rose era was Carlos Boozer’s five-year, $80 million albatross of a contract. That deal that has served mostly to hamper Taj Gibson’s development. Gibson is posting better per-36 numbers than Boozer this season and is far better suited to the Bulls’ style of play. More importantly, the Bulls were gifted a franchise player in Rose and have failed to acquire or develop a secondary scorer capable of complementing him. Reinsdorf demanding a “winner” as a condition to paying the luxury tax is simply a convenient PR device meant to distract from the fact that paying the luxury tax is now all but a precondition to winning a title. It’s Reinsdorf’s money to spend as he sees fit, but his choices have consequences. For example, a presumptive franchise player being leery about a bargain-basement rebuilding project.

Revising The Revisionist History About The Man Who Give Andrei Kirilenko His Nickname

Posted in Basketball, Firearms at 1:48 pm by

Lt. Gen. Mikhail T. Kalashnikov, a man whose contributions to modern weaponry far outstrip what he did for hoops or hip hop trivia, has passed away at the age of 94. While a Euronews item claims Kalahnikov, the creator of the AK-47, had “no regrets” for spawning one of the most popular firearms of all time, this CSTB entry from June, 2006 (“Inventor Of Cheap, Deadly, Efficient Killing Tool Says ‘I Didn’t Sign Up For This’”) indicates otherwise :

The AP’s Henry Meyer has a chat with assault rifle pioneer Mikhail Kalashnikov.

“Whenever I look at TV and I see the weapon I invented to defend my motherland in the hands of these bin Ladens I ask myself the same question: How did it get into their hands?” the 86-year-old Russian gun maker (above) said.

“I didn’t put it in the hands of bandits and terrorists and it’s not my fault that it has mushroomed uncontrollably across the globe. Can I be blamed that they consider it the most reliable weapon?” he said.

The question is especially acute as an 11-day U.N. conference on curbing the small-arms trade convenes June 26 in New York. Kalashnikov is thinking of sending the delegates a statement.

Sturdy, simple and cheap, firing 600 bullets a minute, the world’s estimated 100 million Kalashnikovs account for up to 80 percent of all assault rifles. In Africa’s civil conflicts or in violence-ridden Latin American nations, it sells for as little as $15.

Kalashnikov, despite his advanced age, is still chief designer of the state-controlled company.

He says he never made a kopeck in royalties because his invention was never patented.

“At that time, patenting inventions wasn’t an issue in our country. We worked for socialist society, for the good of the people, which I never regret,” he said.

Meyer, regrettably, doesn’t solicit an opinion from Kalashnikov about the unique social views of Mrs. AK-47, but I do understand that real reporters are very pressed for time.

12.21.13

Expecting A Little Too Much From Jay Z (And Has Mushnick Signed Up Yet?)

Posted in New York, New York, Rock Und Roll at 4:36 pm by

(Pygmy Shrews at 285 Kent, February 2012.  Not shown : Beyonce)

Of the rumored closing of Williamsburg music space 285 Kent, some of the pithier Brooklyn Vegan comments included such bon mots a “good riddance to this mold-infused, carcinogenic fire-hazard deathtrap,” “has a woman ever been spotted at that sausage fest club?” and “the only people sad about this closing are the ones who moved to New York in 2011.”

So it should go without saying that I kinda liked the place and usually had a good time there (though keep in mind, I was grading it on a scale that included other mold-infused, carcinogenic fire-hazard deathtraps mostly populated by unhappy looking dudes). Still, I’ve not previously considered that keeping 285 Kent —- or any other Brooklyn venue — open should be the responsibility of wealthy megastars (who may or may not have other charitable endeavors on their minds). And with that in mind, here’s a Change.org petition putting the fate of 285 Kent squarely in the hands of Jay-Z and Beyonce.


Jay Z and Beyonce should donate at least $1 million to pay the curators of the venue to stay open because god damn this place ruled. We can call it Club Roc Nation, no one is arguing against that. If Dame Dash can have a weird underground venue in Manhattan, there’s no reason Hov and Bey shouldn’t step in to retain this amazing space for cultural posterity. When 285 Kent reopens, Grimes should play a week-long residency during which Todd P has to do pushups the entire time sound is happening.

12.20.13

Perk To Noah : Perhaps You’re Lost — The Head Shop’s Down The Street

Posted in Basketball at 8:20 pm by

(if you’re still looking for an Xmas gift for that special someone, the season 3 DVD “Workaholics” is specially priced)

Following a home defeat of Chicago last night, Thunder C Kendrick Perkins was venting to the Oklahoman’s Darnell Mayberry about Joakim Noah’s strong showing in a losing effort when he suddenly noticed…Noah, violating the sacred confines of the OKC locker room.  Perk, in Mayberry’s words, “went apeshit”.

Peering up from his stall and peeping Noah’s 6-foot-10 frame standing at the entrance,  Perkins immediately voiced his displeasure. “They just let anybody in the locker room,” Perkins shouted, drawing the attention of everyone standing around waiting on players to dress before getting interviewed. “C’mon, man,” Noah responded. Perkins, looking around for support from his teammates and soon reeling in Russell Westbrook, repeated his statement. Noah asked Perkins if he wanted him outside. Perkins responded “I’m just saying, though.” Noah then said “If you want me to wait outside, I’ll wait outside.” Perkins then said “Get yo’ (expletive) up out of here, (expletive).” “Aight,” Noah responded.

A couple of crazy, random things happened to me leading up to the exchange. First, I was headed into the Bulls locker room to try to grab Kirk Hinrich when Hasheem Thabeet, standing just outside the locker room, asked me to get Taj Gibson for him. I told Hasheem to just walk in and get him himself. Thabeet responded by giving me a sour face, like he had just eaten rotten eggs. Apparently, it was an awful suggestion. But his request was awkward for me because I don’t know Taj Gibson. Only talked to him once. That was in the preseason matchup. Besides, dudes are half dressed in these settings, and it just felt wrong for a man to walk up to another man, a half dressed one that he doesn’t know mind you and tell him that another man is waiting on him outside. Weird. But Gibson was totally cool about it. He asked me why doesn’t he just come in. “That’s what I said,”I told Gibson. “Thabo does it all the time,” Gibson responded before getting up and going out to meet Thabeet.

Making Plans For Merzbow – Way Better Than Our “Photoshop JR Smith” Scheme

Posted in record collector disease, The Internet at 2:30 pm by

>

It’s a fun idea, sure, but if Keijo Haino isn’t afforded the opportunity to be photoshopped into incongruous scenarios, why does Merzbow have it so cushy?.  From Tabsout.com :

Click the image to the left to download a high res PSD (or here if you’d rather grip a PNG or JPG) of Masami Akita. Once the file is living on your computer, use the program Adobe Photoshop (or an equivalent) to render old Merzy, or place him somewhere zany like a KFC or something. Go crazy. Have fun. Be a dick. We’ll choose our favorites and throw em up on the site. Whoever makes the best ones will get a grip of cassette tapes from us as a little prize.

Second prize is presumably two grips of cassette tapes.