Tulowitzki’s Thoughts On Rockies Continue To Evolve

Posted in Baseball, Sports Journalism at 9:42 pm by

Tulowitzi talked openly about that bitterness, talked about how the Rockies promised to keep him in the loop and “man, that was the furthest from the truth.” At the time, I wondered whether Tulowitizki would ever move forward. But as I walked into the Jays’ spring-training clubhouse on Friday, I quickly discovered that he had.

“I was honest last year saying it was very tough for me,” Tulowitzki said. “And now I’m honest saying I’m over it.”- Ken Rosenthal, Fox Sports, February 28, 2016

“I’ll never talk to him, never talk to those people,” Tulowitzki told USA TODAY Sports. “You get lied to, straight to your face, you get upset. I believe in forgiveness, but at the same time, I don’t plan on being friendly with them, or anything like that.’’ The last time he talked to Rockies GM Jeff Bridich was the evening of July 27. Tulowitzki was sitting with Walt Weiss in the visiting manager’s office at Wrigley Field, and he was screaming at him, after being notified he had just been traded to Toronto. – Bob Nightengale, USA Today, February 29, 2016

And That’s All For Scot Summers…

Posted in Austin, Professional Wrestling at 6:20 pm by

@RealKeithLee Hitting a monstrous moonsault on Scott Summers

A video posted by Mason Bowman (@wewalkupright) on

Keith Lee lowering the doom on Scot Summers last night at Inspire Pro Wrestling‘s Faces Of Vengeance.  Out of concern for the delicate sensibilities of CSTB readers am I steering clear of footage of Masada’s near-murder of the Unholy Complex’s Jason Silver.


Baseball Analysts United In Sympathy : How Will Ian Desmond Get By On $8 Million?

Posted in Baseball, Sports Radio at 4:59 pm by

After turning down a 7-year contract worth $107 million two springs ago, former Nats SS Ian Desmond accepted an one-year, $8 million contract to play left field for Texas yesterday, a precipitous drop in market value that left more than a few observers questioning the competency of Desmond’s agent, Doug Rogalski. Amongst those outraged ; MLB Network’s Jim Bowden and Dan Duquette, as quoted by the Washington Post’s Dan Steinberg :

“I’m in a state of shock,” Bowden said on his SiriusXM program Sunday morning. “So [Howie] Kendrick gets 20 [million] for two [years], Desmond gets one year at eight. I am stunned. Absolutely stunned. … That’s a shocking number. What a great job by [Rangers GM] Jon Daniels to hang around long enough to get Desmond for one year at eight. So he went from 107 million to losing 99 million over the last 12 months? You want to talk about a humbling sport? How does a player’s value go from 107 to [eight]?”

“Here he is at age 30, giving up the position at shortstop for the most part,” Duquette said. “Now maybe that’s not the case. Maybe he’ll go back on the market next year as a shortstop. But we’ve talked about this quite a bit: the agent has not done a very good job in this particular deal, obviously turning down the money with the Nationals. But to now look at him in left field, on a one-year deal? I’m sorry. That’s about as bad as it gets for the kid, and I feel bad, because we know what kind of player he is and we know what kind of makeup he is. There should have been a multi-year deal out there somewhere.”


Blackpool F.C. Apologizes For Gross Insensitivty (Not To Mention Shitty Musical Taste)

Posted in Football, Free Expression at 9:45 pm by

Any chance supporters of Bradford City might adopt The Best Show‘s #billyjoelsucks hashtag? Wishful thinking on my part, as they’ve probably got more serious matter in mind this evening, as the Press Association explains :

Blackpool have apologised to Bradford City and their fans for playing the song “We Didn’t Start the Fire” on the Bloomfield Road sound system at Saturday’s League One match between the two clubs.

Bradford hold an annual memorial in tribute to the 56 supporters who died in the Bradford fire disasterb in 1985 and in May last year the city staged a special Remembrance Service to mark its 30th anniversary.

Blackpool have said the choice of song at Saturday’s game was unintentional, after some of Bradford’s fans took offence at the lyrics in the Billy Joel song and later complained on social media.

“The club would like to apologise for any unintentional offence caused by a song played at [Saturday’s] match,” Blackpool said on their official Twitter site.

Bradford made no reference to the song during the live commentary on their official website and have not commented on the incident.


Phil Mushnick’s Money Management 101 (With No Racial Overtones Whatsoever)

Posted in Automobiles, Baseball, Racism Corner at 8:29 pm by

Good to see Yoenis Cespedes, at 30, isn’t spending his money on expensive, silly things like pimped-out, three-wheeled sand buggies. How long before we read he is broke?Phil Mushick, New York Post, February 26, 2016

Here we ago again
; it may only be spring training, but Phil Mushnick’s targeting of Yoenis Cespedes is already in mid-season form. Prior to customization, the sticker price of a Polaris Slingshot is $26,499.00. Chatting on “SportsCenter” Thursday morning, Mets starter Matt Harvey was asked about his choice of automobile and admitted that he’s got a Maserati in the same parking lot as Cespedes’ ride.

Cespedes 2016 salary is $17.5 million, plus there was a $10 million signing bonus. Conversely, Matt Harvey will earn a mere $4.3 million this season. Maybe Phil’s not big on researching car prices or player salaries. OK, I don’t think that’s really the case, but it’s a much nicer conclusion to come to than believing there’s any special significance to calling Cespedes’ ride, “pimped out”.


Dada 5000 Kin : Joe Rogan’s A Racist

Posted in MMA, Racism Corner at 10:42 pm by

As you may or may not have noticed over the weekend, Bellator 149′s much vaunted matchup of YouTube sensation Kimbo Slice and Dhafir Harris aka Dada 5000 was, novelty aside, a miserable advertisement for MMA, television and the human race, not necessarily in that order. Both competitors were winded early in the proceedings and upon the completion of a bout that pretty much redefined “sluggish”, Harris was hospitalized and reportedly, almost perished from renal failure.

Weighing in via his Fight Experience podcast Sunday evening, UFC mouthpiece Joe Rogan took a rather dim view of said clash, and Harris’ relatives took great exception to the tone of his remarks. From Facebook :

“The Harris Family is appalled at the overtly racist and offensive comments directed at Dada 5000 by Joe Rogan who said in an interview that Dada’s heart was filled with “cheeseburgers, fried chicken, and orange soda”, mocking the family’s statement issued the previous day.

“We don’t recall Mr. Rogan ever challenging anyone with this amount of vitriol and ignorant racial overtones, all directed to a man who is still hospitalized.

“For the record, Dada lost 40lbs over course of 3 1/2 months while in training camp where he had a boxing coach an MMA coach, and a nutritionist hired by his team. As fight week approached Dada was only 2-3 pounds over fight weight. He took this fight very seriously as evidenced by his gutsy performance. Mocking Dada 5000 with hurtful and racist comments is despicable and divisive and has no place in the sport of mixed martial arts or in our society.”


Let He Or She Without An Interesting Browser History Cast The First Stone At Kurt Rambis

Posted in Basketball, non-sporting journalism at 5:49 pm by

As I’m sure you’ve read elsewhere, Knicks interim head coach Kurt Rambis — suddenly nostalgic for the days when his biggest problem was getting decapitated by Kevin McHale — found himself the object of widespread giggles when an intrepid GQ reporter discovered that Rambis had recently liked a Twitter post “that included a sexy pornographic picture of a lady masturbating.” Wrote the mag’s sneering, leering Jack Moore (IF THAT IS HIS REAL NAME, jack-more, GET IT?), “I’m all for sex positivity, so I say let your freak flag fly, Kurt. If you enjoy looking at photos of Asian girls masturbating, then by all means you should fav the shit out of them. But just be ready to own it…but if you’re an easily embarrassed person, just don’t click that heart.”

Moore has a pretty interesting version of sex positivity. On one hand, he claims to have no problem with Rambis viewing explicit materials, but also adds conditions like, “be ready to own it”. Because why else would Rambis be embarrassed if there wasn’t a stalky journalist keeping track of his Twitter likes?

Clearly, the coach is embarrassed, hence MSG’s likely story that Rambis was hacked (there’s really no need to detail all the reasons why that’s bullshit). But rather than meet Moore’s standard of “owning it”, wouldn’t it have been cooler for Rambis to reply, “what sort of adult spends his or her time patrolling someone else’s internet habits?”

There’s something deeply wrong in how this victimless bit of social media carelessness has seemingly caused greater alarm for Rambis’ employer than Isiah Thomas’ treatment of Anucha Browne-Sanders. At last check, Rambis is not an elementary school teacher, he’s not a man of the cloth, and he’s not an elected official. How is calling attention to his apparent interest in pornography of great public interest? It would be one thing were he an an anti-masturbation crusader like Andy Pettitte. Or if, for instance, he maintained a museum-level archive like that of Hideki Matsui. Are we to believe that none of GQ’s readers have ever viewed materials similar to the tweet that caught Rambis’ eye? Is having this in one’s browser history (or, if you prefer, working for the company that produces it) any more or less shameful?

Laughs aside, perhaps public figures like Kurt Rambis wouldn’t feel obliged to give ridiculous excuses if media & fans alike simply acknowledged that porn-is-very-popular. Is the resulting web traffic really worth shaming a person over something that isn’t particularly shameful? You tell me, Jack Moore.

An Important Message From The Entertainment Divison Of Cumbucket Media, re : Empty Markets

Posted in 12XU, Austin, Internal Affairs, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 2:14 pm by


Milwaukee-to-Austin transplant Drew Schmitz has made his presence felt in bands ranging from Brain Attack, Gremlins UK, Party Garbage and most recently as the 4th wheel in the long-running paragon-of-excellence that is The Hex Dispensers. All of those cultural contributions aside, the one project of Drew’s that probably most relevant to this discussion is the trio known as Cruddy, whose 2011 12XU LP ‘Negative World’ was one of the year’s more acclaimed releases, and Schmitz’ bleaker-than-bleak worldview (to say nothing of inventive guitar work) was an awfully big part of that.

Fast forward a few years and armed with a new rhythm section in the shape of drummer Jordan Rivell and bassist Wendy Wright*, Schmitz’ newly formed Empty Markets aren’t entirely removed from the vision of Cruddy (you’ve got the same fella yelling and playing guitar, no arguing that) but am I allowed to use the dreaded word PROGRESSION without morphing into Alan Parsons? Make no mistake, on ‘Stainless Steel’, engineer Ian Rundell (fresh off recent knob-jobs for Spray Paint, The Rebel and Xetas) has captured the tumult, the agitation, and perhaps most importantly, the precision of Empty Markets in glorious fashion. There’s few other bands mining this sort of territory with nearly as much confidence or as little concession to genre considerations. If Cruddy was a grim snapshot of a hopeless future, Empty Markets is a Hasalbald-quality, full-scale portrait of a hopeless present. If you find an occasional moment of daylight seeping thru, please trust it wasn’t a manufacturing error.

(* – following the recording of ‘Stainless Steel’, Sweet Talk’s Stephen Svacina replaced the eastern-bound Wright on bass)

First 125 on clear vinyl. Preorders received a limited print of the album art via Port Au Prints Get yours here.

EM1 copy




Stitches : Preparing To Violate The Sanctity Of Celebrity Boxing

Posted in Boxing, Hip Hop at 10:34 pm by

In what we can only hope will prove to be as long and storied boxing career as those of Cowboy Bob Orton, Jose Canseco and Ed “Too Tall” Jones, Stitches, the man behind THE GREATEST SONG OF ALL TIME, has agreed to face Philly MC Jemal “Supreem” Carter as part of something called  the World Xtreme Entertainment Celebrity Boxing championships.  From New Times’ Ryan Pfeffer :

This isn’t the fight Stitches really wants. He wants to fight the Game, a rapper whom he’s publicly feuded with over the past six months. Stitches actually did try to Fight the game back in December. He stalked the rapper outside Story, where the Game was making an appearance, but he was eventually knocked out by a member of the Game’s entourage. The whole thing was caught on video. Soon a mugshot surfaced showing Stitches with actual stitches. The whole thing, again, was either very funny or sad, depending on your perspective of life.

The Game did not respond to World Xtreme Entertainment Celebrity Boxing’s request for a match, according to owner Damon Feldman. Feldman hopes this match will build enough hype for the Game to eventually step in the ring.

The three-round fight will take place May 7 at 2300 Arena in Philadelphia.


Most Likely The First & Last Time You’ll Contemplate Owning A Shirt With Ted Cruz’ Face On It

Posted in Fashion, politics at 3:54 pm by

If you’ve spent much time online this week, you’re already aware that all signs point to Ted Cruz being The Zodiac Killer.  And by “all signs”, I mean, you have to love the way it sounds out loud.  Since no meme is complete without being hijacked for political purposes, these wonderful people (who may or may not have some connection to this organization) are peddling the above garment with funds going towards El Paso’s West Fund.

Ted Cruz is a terrifying monster. You know who else was a monster? The Zodiac Killer, who claimed to have killed 37 people in the Bay Area. Ted Cruz has never denied being the Zodiac Killer. The conclusion is simple—and Ted Cruz has never publicly refuted it.*

After paying the artist $100 for his work, all proceeds from the sale of this shirt ($11±1/shirt) will benefit the West Fund, which provides funding and support for abortion services to the people of southwest Texas—women most severely punished by the barbaric policies of our own Zodiac senator.