Congrats to whoever created the above clip ; truly something Mike Francesa and Phil Mushnick will find equally distasteful, albeit for different reasons (video link courtesy Hot Foot)
Granted, this couldn’t have been the part of Friday’s assignment Michael Kay relished most. But either way, he’s absolutely flunked his audition for Hot 97.
A bunch of readers have asked how singer Ronan Tynan can be booted from Yankee Stadium for making an anti-Semitic remark in private, one for which he apologized, yet days later singer Jay-Z, who in public calls black men “n – - – - – s” and degrades women as “bitches,” performs before a World Series game in Yankee Stadium. Good question. Ask Bud Selig – Phil Mushnick, NY Post , November 1, 2009
No need to trouble the Used Car Salesman, Phil. I’d love to tackle this one, and it’s a great double standard to raise given your almost pathological insistence that all modern claims of racism against African-Americans are wild exaggerations. Tynan was booted because anti-semitism is usually considered less socially acceptable than Jay-Z operating within the time honored artistic practice of writing in character. Despite an overwhelmingly negative portrait of Italian-Americans as thugs, cast members from “The Sopranos” are welcome guests in sporting venues across America. Not once have we read a word of protest from Mushnick, whose cultural wading pool is so dangerously shallow, he’s likely to still be bitching about hip-hop in 2025, if he lives that long.
If you’re like me, upon hearing Jay-Z and Alicia Keys’ scheduled performance of “Empire State of Mind” prior to Game One of the World Series was being delayed to Game Two due to poor weather, your first thought was “big deal, Mushnick won’t be calling Hova a drug dealer until Friday”. The eagle-eyed Craig Calcaterra of Circling The Bases is a tad more observant than you or me, however. pointing out what several thousand Ohioans already knew —- Jay-Z was booked to perform at Columbus’ Schottenstein Center tonight.
My guess: someone here in Columbus told Jay-Z’s people that they’d sue him for breach of contract if he didn’t show up for tonight’s show and he begged Major League Baseball to let him move his Alicia Keys thing to Game 2. Whether it was Jay-Z or baseball who, in the first instance, thought that the good people of Columbus would stand idly by while he dissed us for New York is unclear, but as always, the wholesome Midwest triumphs over the forces of east coast decadance and evil.
If you previously blanched at Michael Jordan’s uncouth treatment of lesser lights ranging from Byron Russell to Kwame Brown, you’ll not be surprised to learn His Airness allegedly demanded $15K to pose for a photograph with the former Hakeem Seriki, aka Houston’s Chamillionaire. I dunno how much of the above story is true, but either way, it seems Cham has just pissed away any chance of being invited to appear on Charles Oakley’s cooking show (thanks to David Roth for the link)
Presumably, proposed legislation against texting while driving shouldn’t im[act Stephon Marbury conducting a webchat from behind the wheel of an SUV. As for the business initiatives described above, while Ben Schwartz is fond of reminding CSTB readers that independent music and sports don’t mix, I see no reason why Marbury cannot be every bit as successful in these endeavors as Kyle Turley.
Or, if you prefer, an homage to Diana Ross’ “Muscles”. Having already taken a bold stand against peers “who like to dress up like little girls”, Ron Artest’s new beefcake video wins the YouToob triple crown for simultaneous offenses against fitness, fashion and hip-hop.
Proving once again that when it comes to desperately gluing oneself to athletes, the likes of Will Ferrall, Billy Crystal and Larry King have nothing on Cordozar Calvin Broadus of Long Beach, CA.
Ivan’s not dead, you say? He will be after he views the handiwork of 14 year old ToRResPL9. Video link culled from the Orlando Sentinel’s Matt Humprheys, who observes, “I can’t understand anything that’s being said, other than the occasional Gortat Gortat Gortat.”
….but did he really need to put his high-heeled boot on the throat of hip-hop, too?
That the televised portion of tomorrow evening’s Mets/Marlins game is delayed due to a Fox imposed national blackout has already been mentioned in other spaces, however the New York Post’s Phil Mushnick would like to point out, “the Marlins want to get the game over with so they can start a rap and fireworks show, ‘Super Saturday #1, the Post-Game Concert with Pitbull, Flo Rida and DJ Laz.’”.
An inspection of the lyrics chanted by Flo Rida show him to be an adherent to rap’s most arresting, advance-to-the-rear conventions. He has a propensity for using the n word, and he expresses greater admiration for fully loaded automobiles and automatic weapons than for women, whom he portrays as post-sex discardables.
Pitbull, on the other hand, raps pure sewer — and great self-regard — in both English and Spanish.
And the Mets-Marlins game is being shoved around to serve as their warm-up act.
While nothing bad ever happens at rap concerts, ahem, those who planned to attend this MLB game only as an MLB game might want to think deeper. Hey, Jerry Manuel claims to enjoy watching “gangsta” performances. Tomorrow, because MLB is without compass or clue, he may get a doubleheader.
On behalf of Tramar Dillard, I would like to point out there’s no such word as “discardables”.
I like Wale. I think he’s a good rapper and I like his songs and I also like that he mentions the Nets in his lyrics. No one does that. Maybe Treach or the Artifacts were shouting out Chris Morris and Rafael Addison back when I was a kid and I missed it, but that really works for me. But as much as I respect the guy, I’m just not sure that it’s possible to lend hip-hop credibility to the Washington Capitals, or to hockey in general. But bless the guy for trying — the DC-born MC has come closer to it than anyone since the days when Big said “You either sold crack rock/or you had a wicked slap shot.” The D.C. Sports Bog’s Dan Steinberg — who basically has the best beat in sportswriting for stuff like this — reports:
One of Wale’s first Twitter updates from the arena was this: “im the only black person here.” Now he was saying he’d become a regular, and pledging to bring more fans from “around the way.” So I asked if he really planned on returning for more hockey.
“That [stuff]?” he asked. “Dog, I’ll be back. . . . The shootout was so cliché, though. Oh, Ovechkin wins it, in a shootout, in overtime, the first hockey game I go to. Like, really? Sure. I could have told you that was gonna happen before I went.”
…A few minutes later, the Russian came out. “I heard you put my name?” Ovechkin asked.
“In like three songs,” Wale said. “You got me a lot of new fans.”
Three songs with Ovechkin’s name? I only knew of the one.
“But a lot of them are underground,” Wale said. “It’s my alias. Wale Ovechkin’s my alias.”
Heck, that’s even his gamer tag: Wale Ovechkin. A metaphor, he called it. He’d never been to an NHL game before Saturday, and only occasionally watches highlights on ESPN, but he knows who Ovechkin is, and what he represents.
“He’s the [stuff],” Wale said. “I want to bring what he brings to hockey to my music.”
Years from now, you might not remember exactly where you where or what you were doing when news broke of Stephon Marbury and the New York Knicks coming to turns on a buyout agreement after a four month staring match.
Not me, however. I’ll always remember that I was watching UK terrestrial outlet Channel 5’s coverage of tonight’s Pistons/Heat tilt, and analysis of the Marbury/MSG divorce was provided by none other than Coolio (above).
Though I’d lost track of Coolio’s career travails of late, he seems to be something of a crap TV fixture over here, having finished 3rd in the most recent series of “Celebrity Big Brother”. In addition, he’s made a recent appearance on “Star-ving”, a straight-to-the-web program that pairs the aspiring white rapper duo of David Faustino (aka M.C. Bud Bundy) and Corin Nemec.
This doesn’t have much to do with the state of the Knicks roster or the Celtics’ mooted plans to sign the newly freed point guard. But I do know I will be very, very careful in the future before I ever again refer to Stephon Marbury as washed up. There’s all sorts of second and third acts in public life.
It was a disgraceful exhibition, contrived and pandering on so many levels. And he’s not even a real journalist.
But enough about Jay Mariotti, Lil Wayne is in the finals of today’s “Around The Horn” against Michael Smith, thanks mostly to some creative scorekeeping on the part of Stat Boy. Mr. Carter hasn’t blown anyone away with his sports world insight, but anything that keeps Plaschke off the small screen has to be considered a very positive development.
While Tim Marchman has an unusually rational take on the hysteria that led to Michael Phelps losing his Frosted Flakes endorsement deal (”I hope Phelps one day gets the chance to make a public service announcement telling the public that while burning the odd duchess won’t keep you from winning eight gold medals, stuffing yourself with high fructose corn syrup and salt every morning just might. The only apology due here is one from Phelps for lending his name and image to this garbage”), PFT’s self-appointed morality watchdog Mike Florio all but invites the NFL to suspend Raiders RB Justin Fargas for his participation in the above video (link courtesy Deuce Of Davenport).
Under the league’s substance abuse policy, a player can be put into Stage One of the program if the Medical Director concludes that the player has engaged in conduct that “exhibits physical, behavioral, or psychological signs or symptoms of misuse or abuse of substances of abuse.”
And you’d encourage such a thing because…why, exactly? The league has no problem allowing Coors — a company with far more blood on their hands than a small businessman like Mr. Yukmouth — to use NFL Films footage for their monumentally unfunny commercials. This might be the most interesting endeavor Fargas is involved in for the forseeable future and I cannot understand why any sane person would root for his censure.
“I did curse…” admits Dallas TE Martellus Bennett, referencing his since-removed YooToob clip that managed to rhyme “Romo” with “homo”. “…but I didn’t steal a hearse.” And with that, I think we can agree that a) Bennett has not been accused of stealing a hearse, and b) the sports blogosphere and the producers of several ESPN programs that feature men shouting eagerly await the day he does steal a hearse.
From the Dallas Morning News’ Calvin Watkins (h/t to David Roth, Brendan Flynn) :
Dallas Cowboys tight end Martellus Bennett released a song on YouTube that uses derogatory terms to describe African-Americans and gays.
Bennett, who is African-American, wears a white, autographed Cowboys helmet during the video, which lasts almost three minutes.
“I shouldn’t cuss that much,” Bennett said. “I’ve been listening to [rapper] Too Short too much.”
Dessie Brown Jr., Bennett’s friend, released the video to select media members and asked that they watch and also listen to a rap song on Bennett’s MySpace page. In an e-mail, Brown wrote, “excuse the language on both.”
The clip in question has since been “removed from user”, however, the same cannot be said for all of Mr. Bennett’s attempts at free expression.
The Houston Chronicle’s Jonathan Feingen pointed out earlier today that Houston’s Ron Artest is now the 5th member of the Rockets to have signed a Chinese sneaker deal (Yao Ming remains in the Nike fold). As such, it seemed like an appropriate time to review some new fashion thoughts Artest shared with Slam Online’s Myles Brown.
SLAM: So I saw that post about tight pants on your blog. If you had to choose between a 30 game suspension or 15 games of wearing tight pants, which one would you go with?
RA: Well it’s not necessarily that. What it is, is people in the media—like I’m from a neighborhood where we wear things baggy. And you’ve got a lot of people who started out how I started out, but then they switched up and now they’ve got all these people following them and the wrong message is being sent out there. I just think the wrong message is being sent out there and people are doing things—I don’t have anything against gay people—but there’s subliminal messages like that, like that’s how you should be.
SLAM: So you think the tight pants are a gay thing?
RA: No. No. There’s many other things that’s happening too within the hip hop community and it’s been talked about a lot. People can’t really pinpoint it, but it’s just like hip hop was just so different back in the days and now they’re trying to add all this other stuff that’s not really—at least I don’t think—the truth. I can’t even go on the radio and hear a Styles P or a Jadakiss. I don’t even hear it no more. And I can’t go on MTV and see anybody hood, dressed like where the music really came from. So it’s always frustrating and it bothers me a lot, especially since I’m doing music. So I’m hoping—I’m praying—we get another Biggie. Jay Z, he’s getting older, so I’m praying we just get another Biggie so we can be on top again.
Stat Quo insists “there ain’t nothing wrong with being fashionable,” but takes a firm (?) stance against what he calls “fag swag”. Along with comparing Jimmy Iovine to John McCain, the Atlanta M.C. insists “it’s time for Greg Oden to come out of the closet.”
Who better then, to stand up and repudiate Quo’s remarks (sort of) than Houston Rockets pacificst Ron Artest? (video links swiped from You Been Blinded).
Though it’s pretty tough to get through all 4 minutes of this video, I’ll give Mr. Live this much credit ; it’s not nearly as bad as Q-Tip’s recent bit of rah-rah-retardation.
Thanks (sort of) to Cecilio’s Scribe of Legend Of Cecilo Guante for the heads up on the above clip. “‘Running up the score?’Honestly, whoever produced this video must have had to suppress laughter for hours on end. My other personal favorites of this masterpiece include watching fat Eddy sway from side-to-side and our inactive friend Starbury getting more action than he’s seen in three games this season.”
Indeed, it’s pretty wretched stuff, but unlike the Scribe, I prefer to focus on the positive. For starters, who do I thank at MSG for not including any shots of Matthew Modine? Likewise, there’s a pat on the back due to whoever engineered this recording, as James Dolan’s lead guitar part is so low in the mix, it’s inaudible.
Actor/comedian/proto M.C. Rudy Ray Moore has passed away at the age of 81 from diabetes-related complications. From the LA Times’ Joycelyn Brown :
Though he was little known to mainstream audiences, Moore had a significant effect on comedians and hip-hop artists.
“People think of black comedy and think of Eddie Murphy,” rap artist Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew told the Miami Herald in 1997. “They don’t realize [Moore] was the first, the biggest underground comedian of them all. I listened to him and patterned myself after him.”
And in the liner notes to the 2006 release of the soundtrack to Moore’s 1975 motion picture “Dolemite,” hip-hop artist Snoop Dogg said:
“Without Rudy Ray Moore, there would be no Snoop Dogg, and that’s for real.”
When it came to his own sense of his accomplishments, Moore was never burdened by immodesty.
“These guys Steve Harvey and Cedric the Entertainer and Bernie Mac claim they’re the Kings of Comedy,” Moore told the Cleveland Plain Dealer in 2003. “They may be funny, but they ain’t no kings. That title is reserved for Rudy Ray Moore and Redd Foxx.”
The heyday of his fame was in the 1970s, with the release of “Dolemite” followed by “The Human Tornado,” “Petey Wheatstraw: The Devil’s Son-in-Law” and “Money Hustler.”
The way Moore told it, his introduction to Dolemite came from an old wino named Rico, who frequented a record shop Moore managed in Los Angeles. Rico told foul-mouthed stories about Dolemite, a tough-talking, super-bad brother, whose exploits had customers at the record shop falling down with laughter.
One day Moore recorded Rico telling his stories. Later Moore assumed the role of Dolemite, a character who became the cornerstone of his decades-long career as a raunchy comedian, filmmaker and blues singer.
“What you call dirty words,” he often said, “I call ghetto expression.”
You might think an intense jealousy of NWA was a thin thematic conceit on which to launch an entire career. And you’d be right. However, Mr. Dog’s* major label debut was a one-dimensional masterpiece of sorts, even if the album’s 2nd best track, “Step To Me” is virtually a rewrite of the better known “Fuck Compton”. I’d never seen the video before, but I’m blown away by the burning (LA) Raiders jerseys, the tugging of LA Kings sweaters (say it ain’t so, Great One) and most of all, the spot-on impersonation of Michel’le.
(*- NY Times styleguide)
From the Hot Boys to lukewarm blogging! ESPN The Magazine provide’s Cash Money’s ‘Lil Wayne with a vehicle to question the severity of Aaron Rogers’ condition (h/t David Williams)
Brett Favre must know God’s phone number, ’cause he is superhuman. Like, Brett Favre? Come on. He’s like 3900 years old and he threw for six touchdowns? He’s never even done that in his whole career. And he does it with the Jets when no one is expecting nothing from him. There’s a reason why he’s my favorite player of all-time. He’s getting better with time, as scary as that sounds. It’s a great thing to watch. He still takes those shots. He still takes those risks. And those receivers were amazing, and the line, man, the offensive line was unexplainable.
As a Packers fan, it actually doesn’t bother me to see Favre go off like that, ’cause it’s an AFC team that he plays for. It’s kind of like a double positive for me. I’m glad when the Packers do well, and I’m extra glad when Brett Favre does well. The only way the Packers and Jets will meet is if it’s the Super Bowl, and that would just be a wonderful dream come true. If that happened, I wouldn’t be rooting for anybody. I’d just sit back and enjoy a great football game. But that’s too far down the line, and I’m not tryin’ to jinx it.
I liked the majority of what I saw in the Packers game Sunday. I know this kid Aaron Rodgers is a fighter, and I really hope he comes back for the next game, because it really wouldn’t look good to go out after four games after backing up someone who’s never missed a game.
It’s a tricky thing. They say shoulder, and when they say that, that means he could be seriously injured. It’s like me telling you, “I’m sick,” but not telling you what’s sick about me. I’m skeptical about it because when you say something like he has a sprained shoulder, come on, who sprains their shoulder? I’ve never sprained my shoulder. And when I sprain my ankle or my wrist, it takes a few weeks for me to feel better. I’m not an athlete, but that’s just how it goes. You have to watch that, when they start talking about your shoulder. It starts out with the back-up taking more and more snaps in practice this week, and then the next thing you know, you’ve got a new QB in there on Sunday. So, I’m a little nervous. A little skeptical.
If you’re like me, you’ve spent most of this month staring out the window wondering to yourself, “if Houston Rockets F Ron Artest was quizzed by a Chinese hip hop website about the state of the genre, what sort of insights might he share?” Thanks to the research of You Been Blinded, said daydreaming can come to a merciful end.
Hip hop has been heavily watered down and knocked off course by the big money makers. There are many artists who are scared to make music for themselves and they cater to the boss with grey hair or light skin who never ever been caught in a cross fire, or been racially profiled, or cut in the face, or been face to face with multiple crack heads. The hip hop I’m accustomed to is Rakim. Rakim should be able to say what’s hip hop and what’s not. And give the other good music a different genre. Hip hop is also influenced by God, meaning artists like Run DMC and positive hip hop. I think gangster rap is a fake. I think it should be labeled pain music.
It is not hard to sell music. I think people who buy music are not stupid. When 50 put out “Curtis” he tried to fool people and his fans wanted that real 50. Same with Nas and “Nastradomus” and Jay with the “One” album he had that was unsuccessful. The A&R these days are not that good, with the exception of a few. People don’t want to hear lies, they want pure hearted music.
Of course, it doesn’t get much more pure hearted than Alan McGee’s favorite band.
Once again, revenge M.C.-for-hire Rap Master Maurice proves he’s got the skills to give John McCain the chills.
Could the USA national basketball squad have successfully humbled Spain earlier today without the benefit of Dr. Dre’s signature headphones? Probably, though without the dedicated reportage of the Washington Post’s Ivan Carter and Michael Lee, I’d have no idea about the contents of Team Redeem’s swag bag.
“Dre said we all need to make a beat and have it ready when we get back,” Dwight Howard said while explaining why the legendary artist gave them the headphones.
Actually, Dr. Dre is friends with LeBron James, who gave them to all the players before they left for China. You can find most of the players walking out the locker room after games with them hanging around their necks or atop their heads. Deron Williams and Tayshaun Prince slipped them off just before practice on Friday.
At first glance, the red-and-silver logo on the black headphones sort of makes them seem like they were made specifically for James, who wears No. 6. But Howard explained that the red symbol is actually the lowercase letter “b.”
The headphones are called, “Beats by Dr. Dre” and the website claims that are “the most advanced headphones ever developed” while letting listeners “experience music the way artists want you to, with extreme clarity, deep bass, and full power.”
Carmelo Anthony vouched for them. And he should know, especially after he downloaded more than 3,000 songs onto his iPod before coming. “You listen to the music, you feel like you’re in a studio atmosphere. It’s that quality,” he said.
I’m sure the headphones are decent enough, but “studio atmosphere” via the iPod is a tougher concept to buy into. ‘Melo oughta spend an afternoon with these guys —- they can school him on high fidelity, and he can point out which part of “The Wire”’s West Baltimore are more accuarate than others.
Though the hotly anticipated ‘Shark Tank’ might well be the ‘Chinese Democracy’ of white rap albums, full credit to Black Nasty for continuing to pique curiosity with the third in a series of pre-’Tank’ videos. Though the above clip is not nearly as awesome as the first Juno-riffic attempt, F. Gary Gray was not build in a day.
I must admit, my first though when seeing a headline that read “Jarboe Booted From OU Football Team” was “hey, do what you want to Jane, but at least allow Norman Westberg to run back kicks.” From Sportsline :
An incoming freshman player at Oklahoma was dismissed from the football team Friday by coach Bob Stoops after a video of him rapping about guns and shooting people appeared on the Internet.
The dismissal of wide receiver Josh Jarboe came after the player appeared in a 74-second, profanity-laced video.
“We are disappointed in this outcome, but our complete review and this final decision is in the best interest of our program,” Stoops said in a statement. “We outlined for Josh the expectations we had for him when he arrived and, unfortunately, those expectations have not been met. Josh needs to learn from this experience. We hope he can move forward in a positive manner.”
The 6-foot-3, 195-pound Jarboe signed with the Sooners in February. In March, he was arrested after an assistant principal at Cedar Grove High School in Ellenwood, Ga., told a school police officer he saw Jarboe grab a gun from a car.
Jarboe was expelled from school, but completed his high school degree online.
Around the same time Stoops’ hip-hop-phobia resulted in Jarboe’s dismissal, video of LSU coach Les Miles blatantly sucking up to world famous reprobate Calvin Broadus was shown on “SportsCenter” several times. That the two cases have not been compared leads me to one earth shattering conclusion : someone in the Mushnick household forgot to pay the cable bill last month.
In a moment of music / blogging serendipity, the emergence of Deadspin-inspired comment spam-bombing at CSTB (I’ve got the IP addresses, folks, and Peter Abraham has nothing to do with this) just happened to coincide with the debut of the new Black Nasty track, “Howz My Shit Taste?” While I don’t think this particular clip is nearly as groundbreaking as B.N.’s recent “Juno” homage, I’m pretty sure this collaboration with sis Pink Nasty is destined to outsell anything Ozzie and Lou lay down in the future.
Kids today have no respect for their elders. Sure, Soulja Boy’s had a few hits, but that doesn’t excuse his sneering tone when discussing Ice-T, even if it’s all in self-defense. SB, when you’ve carried Judd Fucking Nelson for an entire movie, you’re allowed all kinds of leeway in this world.
Let’s try to look on the bright side ; henceforth neither David Faustino or Benzino will ever again be called the Worst M.C. Alive. (video link swiped from Awful Announcing)
The Chicago Tribune’s Mark Gonzalez dropped the following tasty tidbit into the Trib’s “Hardball” section this morning.
Manager Ozzie Guillen spent a part of this week filming a commercial for an automobile manufacturer in which Cubs manager Lou Piniella will take part. We don’t know any more details, other than we hear Piniella will be rapping.
I’m sure Kayne West would’ve loved the opportunity to work with Lou, but I have it on good authority there’s a baseball obsessed M.C. who has already volunteered his services as mentor/producer.
How harsh is Future’s “Kansas Jayhawks – The Champions” (mp3, link courtesy Jeff Jensen)? After repeated plays, even Duke fans are gonna wish North Carolina had won.
Not to be confused with Brian Scalabrine (above), “Brian Scalabrine” provides some extra motivation for the Cavaliers (currently leading Boston, 79-61, at the end of 3 quarters). MP3 by The Basketball Jones.
Fox Sports’ Jason Whitlock follows last week’s attack on Will Leitch with a wide-ranging interview at You Been Blinded. Along with weighing in on the blog/print schism and blasting Playboy for a misleading headline, Whitlock finally addressed his musical production sideline.
HG: Considering your stance on Hip-Hop and the state of the black community, are Tech N9ne and the 57th Street Rogue Dog Villains potentially your Reverend Wright?
JW: You damn skippy they’re Reverend Wright, and I’ll never disown Tech N9ne, Big Krizz Kalico and Cutt Kalhoun and the RDVs. You can add Dr. Dre and Tupac to the list, too. I’ve never denied being a fan of rap music. I know why it touches people and where the gangsta element comes from. Look, I’m overweight and I would tell people McDonald’s is freaking horrible and should be outlawed. But that don’t mean you’ll never see me creeping through a Mickey D’s drive-thru at 2 a.m. and grabbing a Filet-O-Fish. Just because I acknowledge my hypocrisy doesn’t mean my criticisms are inaccurate. We all fall short of the glory from time to time.
HG: One thing we agree on is that The Wire is one of the greatest television shows of all-time. If they were to make a Wire movie, what angles or storylines would you like to see covered?
JW: More of Kima’s love life. There was a lot of time wasted on McNulty’s catting around when we could’ve seen what Kima was up to.
It had to happen sooner or later. Finally, there’s a point on which Whitlock and I could not be in greater agreement.
Unlike the Suns, Rockets and Mavericks, who all face potential elimination games tonight, the Washington Wizards have at least 28 or so more hours remaining in their ‘07-08 season. But while their match-up with the Cavaliers was pretty easily the first-round series I most looked forward to — I had a feeling the Suns/Spurs series would turn into the dreary, Parker-led, ref-soliciting, play-executing death march it has become — it has turned out to be pretty much a dud. Game four was exciting, but the previous games were torpid blowouts that were notable only for a few hard fouls and some demonstrative gesturing from second-tier guards. Well, that and for the ridiculous mastery of LeBron James (29.5 PPG on 51.2% shooting, 8.5 RPG, 6.5 APG). The Wizznutzz describe the experience of watching these games thusly:
Right now Queen James is having his way in the lane, like a bull in a vagina shop.
When he drives lane, its like the goddammed video for “OWner fo a Lonely Heart” by YES: a dude having seizures while a bunch of big eyed reptiles sit around and stare. Cuz Queen james is owning us right now, hes not even owning DeShawn hes just leasing him cuz he doesnt want to be responsible for the oil changes.
But besides being lopsided basketball, the series has also featured a goofy, WWE-style subplot involving each team’s surrogate rapper. The Cavs and LeBron have aligned themselves with Jay-Z, while the DeShawn Stevenson and the Wiz have 17-year old dance-inventor/ho-Supermanner Soulja Boy. My opinions on ho-supersoaking and/or Supermanning to the side, my instincts naturally put me on the side that doesn’t have the ultra-billionaire cake-talking rap plutocrat (and LeBron), but this will likely all be moot by sometime tomorrow night, anyway. Which isn’t bad news, considering that it should at least consign Jay-Z’s corny DeShawn Stevenson dis record to the furthest reaches of mixtape limbo. New York Magazine’s Ben Mathis-Lilley reports on the track:
Apparently a freestyle, it’s recorded over the beat from Too Short’s “Blow the Whistle.” Though no target is named, the track is clearly aimed at Washington Wizards shooting guard DeShawn Stevenson and rapper Soulja Boy.
As a track, it’s not much; there are some decent if vague lines — “We [that’s Jay and LeBron] let the money do the talkin’ / And as you see, we talk rather often” — but since Jay refuses to actually mention whom he’s talking about because he thinks he’s above it, there’s none of the hilariously personal cutting-down that makes a dis track a dis track. It’s too generic to be memorable, but we nonetheless appreciate it if simply for the fact that Jay-Z’s catalogue now includes an entire song about a semi-obscure player for the Washington Wizards. It’s an entirely new category of music: the Novelty Beef.
OK, that’s not even close to the correct quote. But in the wake of DeShawn Stevenson’s LeBron-baiting making the Wizards SG “the most hated man in Cleveland”, Washington’s first round playoff series against the Cavs might not benefit from a hip hop analogy says one prominent performer who bristles at being compared to Stevenson. From the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s Branson Wright :
DeAndre Way (above) is not much of a basketball fan, and he surprisingly has never seen LeBron James play. So when Way saw that James mentioned his stage name, “Soulja Boy,” in a recent article, Way was caught way off guard.
“Someone from Interscope Records called me and sent me the quote,” Way said. “I looked and didn’t really think much about it. LeBron said something like he was Jay-Z and DeShawn [Stevenson] is Soulja Boy. I took that as [disrespectful].”
Following the Cavaliers practice on Friday in preparation of today’s Game 1 of the first round of the playoffs against the Washington Wizards, James said he was not trying to be disrespectful to Way.
When I first came out, there [were] a lot of people that did my dance from football players to basketball players to soccer players,” said Way, 17. “So this makes me feel like a very important individual. I’m in the middle of this conversation in the playoffs, and that makes me feel good. I knew my name was going to come up in sports, because of the song, but I never thought it would come up in a conversation like that.”
Although Way admitted he doesn’t have much of basketball talent, he would not oppose a 2-on-2 basketball game for charity between himself and Stevenson against James and Jay-Z.
“Oh man, let’s do it,” Way said. “I can’t hoop, but we all have money, and I can quickly get some training.”
The New York Times’ Jack Curry ran into the former Robbie Van Winkle the other night dining at Boston’s Legal Sea Food. Sadly, he didn’t get a chance to ask the performer more commonly known as Vanilla Ice about being being dangled by his ankles outside an office building window by Suge Knight. But at least Curry was classy enough not to make any snide remarks about the diminishing value of a Northeastern degree (link provided by Matt Watson).
Unlike me, Ice wasn’t in town to see the Red Sox. He said he gave a speech at Northeastern University on Monday night. I asked him if college students knew much about his music and Ice insisted that they did. Ice, who said he does about 100 shows a year, now plays what he called, “hardcore, radio unfriendly music.”Of course, I had to know if he still sings, “Ice, Ice Baby” at his shows.
“Sometimes, I do,” Ice said. “I do a hardcore version of it.”
Ice knew sports, calling out the names of various Memphis players between sips of lobster bisque. He wondered why Boston had become the place for sports success with the defending champion Red Sox, the three-time Super Bowl Champion Patriots and the surging Celtics.
“What’s going on here?,” Ice asked. “Is it something in the water?”
Since I have written about Pete Nash, one of the members of the rap group Third Bass who is now a baseball historian, I had to ask Ice a question. What did he think of Third Bass’s song, “Pop Goes the Weasel,” in which they verbally slice and dice Ice? In the video, they also pummel a Vanilla Ice look-alike. Serious rappers, like Nash and MC Serch, his partner, were disgusted by Ice’s mega-success, which, by the way, faded fast.
“I loved what they did,” Ice said. “It showed how I was having an impact. I sold 17 million albums. Let them do whatever they want to me.”
Then Ice revealed that he tried to verbally slam Third Bass, but he was rebuffed.
“I wrote about them, but the record company wouldn’t let me use it,” Ice said.
When I said I was leaving the restaurant to watch the rest of the game at my hotel, Ice offered words of wisdom. He said something like, “May you enjoy wherever your journeys take you.” I thought that was pretty cool. And, dare I say it, so was Vanilla Ice.
Aside from learning that I have something else in common with the reigning Dean Of American Rock Critics Joe Benigno-Gazigno in addition to our intense good looks (ie. J.B.G. gave “Sweet Caroline” the thumbs-down), there’s something a tad perverse about learning god’s gift to the hair product industry, SNY’s Chris Cotter, favors NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton”.
Lastings Milledge was run out of town for putting out hip-hop records, but Cotter’s allowed nostalgia for his frat days with no repercussions?
Video link swiped from Bugs & Cranks. Dick Pound always thought Talib Kweli was the more talented of the Black Star pair.
XXL published a fascinating interview with DMX last Friday in which the veteran MC touched on a number topics including his recent signing to Bodog.com (”I don’t even really remember how it came about. Some real shit, I don’t remember who did what about what”), the advent of digital distribution (”I don’t even think about it.”), his critics (”they all suck dick when they see me, so it doesn’t really matter”) and most importantly, the looming Presidential election.
Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.
You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!
Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!
Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?
Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?
Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.
You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.
I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.
So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote right?
Nope.
Is that why you’re not following it?
No, because it’s just—it doesn’t matter. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. It doesn’t really make a difference. These are the last years.
But it would be pretty big if we had a first Black president. That would be huge.
I mean, I guess…. What, they gon’ give a dog a bone? There you go. Ooh, we have a Black president now. They should’ve done that shit a long time ago, we wouldn’t be in the fuckin’ position we in now. With world war coming up right now. They done fucked this shit up then give it to the Black people, “Here you take it. Take my mess.”
Aside from dropping 33 points on Orlando last night and being the subject of a recent NY Times profile regarding his movie criticism, Golden State’s Baron Davis reveals that his M.C. skills are every bit as sophisticated as….well, those of Don Nelson. Video link from World Star Hip-Hop.
There’s so much more to Rap Master Maurice than mere telephonic vigilantism. However much torture Sen. McCain endured at the Hanoi Hilton, I doubt the GOP’s presidential nominee is prepared to listen to Maurice’s newest hit several times in a row.
OK, so perhaps Rap Master Maurice’s skills are a tad raw. But this is still more interesting than a Jim Jones CD.
…if I were, let me state state with no equivocation, that I would not vote for Mary J. Blige’s induction into the Baseball Hall Of Fame. From the New York Times’ Mike Nizza (link courtesy Sam Frank)
(Marlo – not only could he do without being implicated below, but it really sucks waiting around for Jay Gibbons in the freezing cold)
According to a report in the Albany Times-Union, the names of well-known entertainers — including Mary J. Blige, 50 Cent and Timbaland — have come up among tens of thousands of alleged customers of a steroid and human growth hormone ring, though none are accused of breaking the law.A spokeswoman for Ms. Blige dismissed the report (which included a funny allegation: the drugs were sent to her under the alias “Marlo Stanfield,” the drug kingpin on HBO’s “The Wire”), saying that her client “has never taken any performance-enhancing illegal steroids.”
The phrasing begged the question: What part of her performance would the drugs enhance anyway?
For these entertainers, the answer probably has less to do with the talent they rode to stardom and more to do with image. For example, 50 Cent often flexes his muscles for album covers, magazine spreads and music videos. In Ms. Blige’s case, the motivation would be tied to the unproven and doubted anti-aging benefits of steroids and h.g.h..
Apparently, to the eyes (and ears) of Oregonian columnist John Canzano, Lupe Fiasco is to the Trail Blazers as Lee Greenwood is to the Colorado Rockies.
Lupe Fiasco doesn’t drink alcohol. He doesn’t go to clubs. He doesn’t smoke. He doesn’t hang with groupies, and the messages in his rap music aren’t about money, jewelry, drugs and gyrating women unless he happens to be mocking the bounty of hip-hop artists who make that their thing.
Lupe Fiasco’s debut album, in fact, is anchored by a song titled, “Kick, Push,” which is an anthem to skateboarding, his favorite hobby. The guy reads comic books, even. And since his hip-hop lyrics are about social and cultural issues, and his antics don’t scream, “LOOK AT ME!” well, he’s been a little slow to get noticed by America.
Basically, Lupe Fiasco is the hip-hop version of the Trail Blazers.
In between a few rounds of Canzano-bashing no more artful or distinguished than the average message board complainer (not that I haven’t done it a few times myself, but don’t people ever realize bitching constantly about a columnist and talk show host is just like writing him a check?) Portland Mercury “End Hits” blogger (and former 76ers guard?) Andrew R. Tonry offers a counterweight:
Last year I interviewed a bunch of Blazers about what they liked, and it wasn’t a bunch of weak sauce.
Sure, Travis Outlaw is good kid, but that doesn’t keep him from bumping the Birdman (“I’mma Fuck Around And Put That Boy Brains On The Table Pick ‘em up, fuck ‘em Let ‘Em Lay”).
Yeah, Brandon Roy’s a stand up guy, but the last concert he went to then was E-40 (“You got a mean throat game and your coochie is serious/ Pussy so good I fuck you on your peroid”).
Hey, as nerdy and reductive as the bald man’s foray into music writing may have been, he’s still a hair or two more cutting- edge than Peter Gammons.
Incredibly, there’s a duo working even harder then Stephon Marbury and Eddy Curry to get Isiah Thomas fired (mp3, link from the New York Post’s Marc Berman).
Presumably ruffled by the above smash hit, Isiah Thomas manged to get tossed from tonight’s home tilt with Houston, as the Rockets currently lead the Knicks, 80-74 with 9:02 remaining.
Not for the first or last time, Dave D’Alesandro of the Newark Star Ledger has proven more adept at handling reader mail than your harried editor :
DD: Happy New Year! I am a big fan of Ian Eagle, but I’m just not digging his nickname for Sean Williams: “Elastic man.” There have to be better options. Any ideas?
MJ
MJ: Oh, do keep up. We at the Home Office turned this task over to the Perfessor in preseason, and after four days of committee hearings and a substantial bribe from French loyalists, he settled on “Le Freak Elastique.” (See Arun’s letter above – he’s on board.) But we’re not going to hit Ian up for royalties for his silly Anglocized version. He’s already in trouble with the Stacey Augmon Fan Club.
Let me get this straight — Rip Hamilton wears a mask? Nothing against his choice, but wouldn’t this be more entertaining?
from Mr. Cross’ Faves Of 2007 (Brooklyn Vegan)
Soulja Boy, “Crank Dat” – I fucking love it! Not the song, but the fact that this Grammy nominated piece of shit is a full fledged phenomenon sung and emulated by children and pre-teens all across America. Why? Because it advocates cumming on a “ho’s” back and then putting the bed sheet on her so that when it dries it resembles a cape. And for extra giggles look up “supersoak” in the urban dictionary. You go (eight year old) girl!! Almost as great as middle aged white people gleefully singing a song celebrating a place to go for anonymous gay sex during the 7th inning stretch at Yankee stadium.
So there you go. The next time you’re at cocktail party and someone wants to know what David Cross and Mack Brown have in common (other than belonging to that mutual admiration society all true avatars are members of), you’ve got your answer.
Mixtape diss tracks are so much more fun than embedded videos. That said, Ric Flair hasn’t cut a promo this good in a few years.
Though Kevin Baker of The Silent Majority seriously suggested that we “ask yourself who their favorite performing artists were” regarding the accused killers of Redskins S Sean Taylor, my initial reaction was, “who fucking cares?”
But after PFT helpfully linked to the alleged MySpace page of Eric Rivera Jr. (who despite being charged with first degree felony murder, still had time to log in Saturday), I just couldn’t resist.
Eric’s favorite films include “Love & Basketball” (and we’ve already seen what that motion picture did to a noted NBA executive’s career) and “STEVEN SEGAL MOVIES”.
I’ve not seen any of Sir Seagal’s works, but I’m told they generally feature rich character development, effervescent dialogue and a paucity of gun violence.
On the musical tip, Rivera professes to be a fan of “ANYTHING THAT SOUNDS GOOD”. Hey, a man after my own heart.
Of course, such diverse tastes would undoubtedly include Sandy Denny. Because Sandy Denny most certainly sounds very good indeed.
Your move, Whitlock. It doesn’t appear as though Rivera is any more or less immersed in hip-hop culture than untold million of persons, the overwhelming majority of which have never committed a crime. But if this provides another excuse to throw more dirt on Seagal’s career, I can’t imagine too many right-thinking persons will be troubled.
The Miami police, it seems, should be trying to track down an organization Jason has dubbed “the Black KKK”. From Big Sexy’s latest Fox Sports.com column :
Let’s cut through the bull(manure) and deal with reality. Black men are targets of black men. Period. Go check the coroner’s office and talk with a police detective. These bullets aren’t checking W-2s.
Rather than whine about white folks’ insensitivity or reserve a special place of sorrow for rich athletes, we’d be better served mustering the kind of outrage and courage it took in the 1950s and 1960s to stop the white KKK from hanging black men from trees.
But we don’t want to deal with ourselves. We take great joy in prescribing medicine to cure the hate in other people’s hearts. Meanwhile, our self-hatred, on full display for the world to see, remains untreated, undiagnosed and unrepentant.
Our self-hatred has been set to music and reinforced by a pervasive culture that promotes a crab-in-barrel mentality.
You’re damn straight I blame hip hop for playing a role in the genocide of American black men. When your leading causes of death and dysfunction are murder, ignorance and incarceration, there’s no reason to give a free pass to a culture that celebrates murder, ignorance and incarceration.
Of course there are other catalysts, but until we recapture the minds of black youth, convince them that it’s not OK to “super man dat ho” and end any and every dispute by “cocking on your bitch,” nothing will change.
Does a Soulja Boy want an education?
I don’t claim to be an expert on crime or race, but I’m still having trouble getting past the proliferation of guns having something to do with people being shot to death. Of course, I do realize handguns and hip-hop were introduced at exactly the same time, and without the latter, the former would cease to exist — as would all other social problems!
…the above clip is yet another reminder that MTV would be more fun with this sort of thing and a lot less Tila Tequila (video link swiped from Fitted Sweats, breathlessly forwarded by David Roth)
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