["The men despise me, they hate me, and I can readily understand why. They hate to see a man in that ring that is ten times better at anything that they do ... regardless of what is, the art of making love, anything."- Classy Freddie Blassie, 1918-2003.]
The above is fall two of Fred Blassie’s March 1962 title bout with Rikidozan, officiated by Johnny “Red Shoes” Duggan and called by KTLA’s inimitable Dick Lane. This is prime West Coast Blassie when the Classy one was the promotion’s star, most hated heel, and champion (including his then trademark biting, with teeth sharpened Ty Cobb-style on a steel file). You can check out the first fall here, and feel the hate and heat Blassie could draw from a hometown LA crowd against a Japanese champ. A Happy birthday goes out to the greatest all-around everything in wrestling: champion, heel, manager, and my favorite interview ever –he woulda been 92 today. You can check out his interview style here (going shoot on Hogan), interviewed as LA champ here, his managerial finesse on display in the Piper’s Pit with Kamala the Ugandan Giant here, managing and promoting Muhammed Ali onThe Tonight Show, discussing his $40,000 bathroom and smashing Iron Shiek action figures with Regis Philbin (as Philbin dares slug the Sheik), a guest shot on The Dick Van Dyke Show, or the above 1962 championship bout from one of his greatest feuds, with Rikidozan. Years later, when Rikidozan was dead (reportedly killed by yakuza gangsters), a Japanese film crew interviewed Blassie in his last years, still working for Vince McMahon. When asked how he recalled Rikidozan, Blassie swore he wasn’t through with the dead man yet and would wrestle him in Hell. The cartoonist Drew Friedman once printed up an insulting postcard of Mr. Blassie. He received a copy of said card in the mail addressed to “Pencil Neck Drew Friedman” with the note … “Keep looking over your shoulder. I’ll tear your heart out through your knee cap. As Ever, Fred Blassie.” Here’s to you, Freddie.
Hardy is faced with six different charges contained in three separate felony and misdemeanor cases after his arrest on September 11. Hardy’s cases have moved to the Superior Court where Hardy will await a potential trial date.
Hardy was originally scheduled for a “probable cause” hearing on January 27, but his cases were removed from the docket yesterday after prosecutors were able to provide enough evidence to indict Hardy on the charges.
Thanks to a succession of hot tips from CSTB readers and contributors, we’ve managed to (mostly) keep up with the post-WCW/WWE career of Diamond Dallas Page (above), last seen around these parts hawking his Yoga-4-Dudes program. Or maybe it was threatening to sue Jay-Z. So hard to remember.
None of those incidents, however, were nearly memorable enough to prevent the following exchange between the San Antonio Express’ Jeff McDonald and Spurs F Matt Bonner (above, “a notorious sandwich hound) upon the latter’s first visit to NYC’s famed Carnegie Deli earlier this week :
He gave the food an A-plus. His only regret was that he didn’t bring a photo of himself to hang on the restaurant’s renowned wall of fame — especially after seeing a picture of washed-up wrestler Diamond Dallas Page sprinkled among the glitterati.
“Surely, I’m more relevant than Diamond Dallas Page at this point,” he said.
I’m not gonna set up a readers poll just to count a dozen votes, but I have a sneaking suspicion The Red Rocket would come out on the short end of such a vote.
How advanced is the Iron Sheik’s brand of shoot-style dementia? I’ll put it this way : he might be the only person less qualifed to care for Frances Bean Cobain than her birth mother.
Considering the amount of correspondence to CSTB generated by the passing of Sputnik Monroe, I don’t think I am going out on a limb in suggesting the forthcoming release of “Memphis Heat : The True Story Of Memphis Wrasslin’” is of particular interest to the readership. While you’re waiting patiently, Ron Hall’s “Sputnik, Masked Men, & Midgets: The Early Days of Memphis Wrestling” makes a tremendous Christmas or Hanukkah gift (and I’m not lending you my copy).
Superstar Billy Graham is hardly alone in holding Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate Linda McMahon’s feet to the fire in her campaign against Connecticut incumbent Chris Dodd. Whether it’s hypocrisy or just poor public relations, Hugging Harold Reynolds finds something a bit screwy about McMahon’s Senate bid being bankrolled by the same WWE that draws from a rather interesting talent pool. “it just seems disingenuous of candidate McMahon to 1. distance herself from the company that’s afforded her the luxury of self-financing her campaign; and 2. pretend it’s something it’s not,” writes HHR. Sounds like someone doesn’t wanna see a lingerie match with Nancy Pelosi.
What’s head-scratching is the Fed’s decision last week to bring the 2008 Playboy Magazine Model of the Year, Jillian Beyor (who wrestling sites are claiming – read: gossiping – “appeared in a few adult themed fetish video shoots back in 2007 under the name Brianna”), as one of their renowned Divas.
Beyor shares esteemed company with Sable, Chyna, Torrie Wilson, Christy Hemme, Ashley Massaro, Maria Kanellis, and Candice Michelle as Diva/Playmates.
If the soft-core rumors are true, with Michelle, she shares the distinction of hitting Diva/Playmate/Porn Star trifecta.
Michelle was fired back in June for not looking “Diva-like.” With the overall toning-down of the television product, one must wonder, however, whether it was a politically motivated move to distance the company (and thus, the candidate) from a porn star. And conversely, why they’d bring on Beyor.
Getting back to Michelle, under the name Mackenzie Montgomery, Michelle appeared in over 60 hardcore porn films and scenes before and during her time as a WWE Diva, specializing in bondage films (including classics Gagged and Frightened!, Bare Breasted Bondage Girls, Hand Gagged!, and Guys And Girls: Ropes And Gags. The impressive resume reads like an RS Video order.
The above clip was posted here a while ago to commemorate Captain Lou Albano’s 76th birthday. Sadly, that’s the last one he’ll celebrate, as the legendary wrester, heel manager and Col. Tom to NRBQ’s Elvis shuffled off this mortal coil yesterday. “People may remember him from the Cyndi Lauper videos and Super Mario television show,” eulogized The Wrestling Observer Newsletter’s Dave Meltzer, “but he was the key manager in the (WWF) promotion and was very often as important as anyone in some of the big crowds the company drew.”
During the period after Bruno Sammartino stopped being a regular, there are people within the organization who felt the heat Albano brought as manger of the top heels was the biggest factor in drawing crowds during the Bob Backlund run. Albano generally was put with the nutty types of contenders, and almost always with the tag team champions.
He would dress like his proteges to a degree, and eventually became known for the rubber bands all over his face. He was a major part of the wheel of success for Vince McMahon Sr., far more important than anyone who didn’t closely follow the promotion would be able to understand. Albano was the key component in making Jimmy Snuka into the hottest wrestler in that part of the country when the two split up and Snuka went babyface.
For no good reason at all, I offer this 1985 WGN profile of Dick the Bruiser hosted by Jack Brickhouse and Steve Stone. I especially like the Bruiser’s dismissal of his wife for daring to speak during the interview (even tho they obviously get their hair bleached at the same place), the Bruiser’s skills on his pool’s diving board, vintage 80s shorts, and that impressive car collection.
Nope, not Ken Patera. Pittsburgh’s WPXI reports TNA World Champion Kurt Angle was arrested earlier today in Robinson Township, PA, and charged with violating a protection from abuse order that had been served earlier in the day. Angle is accused of stalking girlfriend Rhaka Khan aka Trenesha Biggers, with the WPXI item adding, “police also found a capped syringe and two vials of Hygetropin, otherwise known as HGH.” (link courtesy Jon Solomon)
Pro Wrestling Torch’s Wade Keller opines the above incident “continues to paint a picture of Angle as someone unstable with drug and personal problems continuing to affect his public image and, perhaps, ability to perform his job.” Of Ms. Biggers, Keller adds, “the talk within TNA for months has been that somehow Angle managed to follow up one of the most volatile relationships in pro wrestling history (he and Karen) with one with the potential to be much worse.”
Prior to an item in the Daily Kos (forwarded by David Gionfrido), I was blissfully unaware former ECW announcer Joey Styles had been on the hatefuck warpath via Twitter. “Maybe Styles is just trying to blow Vince MacMahon to get back on the air,” surmises managerial/booking legend James E. Cornette, who proceeds to shove his trademark tennis racket awfully far up Styles’ recreation room. “We’re all in this together, you fucking morons” is Cornette’s stirring message to Barack Obama’s critics, and perhaps a fulltime yack radio gig beckons.
Hey, as long as Nash and The Big Show are still breathing, Shaquille O’Neal will never be the laziest big man to set foot in the squared circle. “Tonight was all about sitting back and letting the crazy wash over you,” observed Cavs The Blog’s John Krolik, “like you’re dealing with a pack of separatist wolverines with a firehose.” Needless to say, Mr. Krolik wasn’t attending the Stellastarr* show at the Parish.
Shaq comes out and says “My new teammate LeBron James says hi.” Hearty boos. So the elephant in the room has been discussed, I suppose.
-Chris Jericho, who at this point of his career has a “I am way, way too smart to still be a professional wrestler, but I’m just going to roll with it,” thing going, comes out in a blazer and starts telling Shaq that Shaq should respect him. Shaq responds by calling Jericho “Christina.” Max money, the Cavs are paying.
-Chris Jericho has “The Big Show,” who’s Shaq’s height but somehow has like 150 pounds on him, come out and get into a stare-down with Shaq. I must say, at this point I was happy about how in-shape Shaq looks.
-Shaq challenges Big Show to a fight. Big Show backs out, saying that he’d hurt Shaq but doesn’t want to have to deal with the wraith of David Stern and his lawyers. The crowd boos like they’re supposed to, but I’m actually surprised that didn’t go over better in an arena full of Wizards fans. (I kid, I kid.)
Shaq’s 2nd promo of the night: None of the following is exaggerated. Shaq is in a room with a mini-hoop, then starts joking with a mute midget dressed like a Leprechaun named Hornswoggle, saying they “went to high school together.” He offers Hornswoggle something called “Enlyte Energy Strips,” gives him a mini-ball and tells him to dunk on the mini-hoop, saying “‘come on, Nate Robinson.” Hornswoggle declines the energy strips, runs around the room, and gets rim-stuffed by the Nerf hoop. Shaq puts the energy strips on Hornswoggle’s chest. Someone says “That was Shaqalicious.” All of that actually happened.
I suspect Jerry Lawler has as much chance of becoming Mayor of Memphis as Christopher X. Brodeur has of occupying Gracie Mansion someday, but I’ll use any excuse to post the above video clip. From The Sun :
“I am going to do some media interviews and see what level of support is out there before I officially declare.
“The people of Memphis are so tired of the political circus that we have been living in for the past 18 years and hopefully, are tired of politicians in general.
“I would be an alternative to that since I am not a politician and never want to be one.
“Just someone who could bring some common sense to the office of Mayor and hopefully make my hometown of Memphis a city that people want to come to, instead of move away from.
“I will be making an announcement by the end of this week.”
This would be the second time that Lawler has ran for Mayor.
During a 1999 run he garnered 11.7% of ballots, laying the SmackDown on twelve of the fifteen candidates. His platform focused on making the streets safer for residents, beautifying the city, and improving the quality of education.
The former Ultimate Warrior aka Jim Hellwig has already weighed in with questionable remarks concerning one celebrity death — why should we be so lucky to believe he’d have nothing to say regarding the passing of Michael Jackson?
I imagine all the crying about the death of this recent drug-soused entertainment freak has most to do with the unfortunate inconvenience that the other drug-soused entertainment freaks now face. They will have to look for another local, safe and reputable babysitter. No longer will they be able to drop their kids off down the street at Jacko’s to be watched for the afternoon and spend some play time with his own kids.
I hate the paparazzi, and think they should all be shot for the obsessive invasion of privacy. But I’m really going miss ALL those TMZ and Entertainment Tonight video clips of Jacko’s and other celebrity kids playing together. You ever see any of those? Weren’t they great? Didn’t they make you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside? Worked for me. Every time I caught one it made me believe maybe he wasn’t a pedophile. After all, famous and rich entertainers, with all kinds of money to go to any expense to have things accurately checked out for themselves, wouldn’t let their own little babies near a pedophile…would they?!
Well, you gotta give him credit for one thing. He spent all his money (and then some) before he died. And that’s not an easy thing to calculate. Go ahead, ask your financial planner if he has a plan to pull it off. For all the horrific mismanagement of millions and millions and millions of dollars, here at the end, Jacko did a pretty damn good job at balancing the books in his favor. Sorry, at my new age and with the way the Obama economic plan is going, I couldn’t help but recognize this stunner.
Thanks to Dave Gionfrido for unearthing the above YouToob clip, otherwise Shultz’ legacy might be limited to deafening John Stossel. As is, this piece of cinema vérité is remarkable on multiple levels. Given the old WWF’s penchant for employing wife beaters and tolerating the abuse of children, there’s something especially creepy about Shultz’ threats of domestic violence being played for laughs. The most disturbing part of this, however, is that despite being unable to afford proper trousers, Shultz lives in a house larger than mine.
While the Nuggets were routing the Lakers at the Pepsi Center, a hastily scheduled taping of WWE Raw at LA’s Staples Center predictably centered around Vince MacMahon’s biggest obsession since the Montreal Screw Job. From the LA Times’ Lance Pugmire :
Looking cheesy with a bad mustache and cheap sports coat, “Stan Kroenke” entered the arena with a basketball and handed it to an actor supposed to be Lakers owner Jerry Buss. The scene fooled some in the crowd, and required at least one fan to explain, “It’s an impersonator, dude!”
But “Kroenke” wasted no time further offending WWE fans in L.A., telling the crowd he was owner of the “soon-to-be NBA champion Denver Nuggets.”
“I cannot stand the WWE or its fans, for that matter. Do you think I care that I screwed thousands of fans? I have much more important things to do with my time. … I’m a respected tycoon/billionaire. I’ve been villified by the WWE, the media and every one of you.”
A photo then flashed on a big screen showing Kroenke with a devil’s tail and horns, while McMahon wore a halo.
McMahon then entered the arena to say he was announcing the formation of a new pro basketball league, the XBA, that would fail miserably, because, “I will have [Kroenke] and your staff run it.”
“All you had to do was pick up the phone and explain that [you] didn’t expect [your] team to make the playoffs.”
McMahon then ridiculed that Kroenke is formally known as E. Stan Kroenke, revealing the E. stands for Enos.
“Enos, look at you,” McMahon said, as the Kroenke impersonator covered his ears in shame. “You’re an Enos! … You have a terminal case of Enos envy.”
There was controversy earlier today about a New Japan Pro Wrestling poster with Nazi symbols on it. NWA Executive Director Bob Trobich even released a statement decrying it, saying, “It has come to our attention at the National Wrestling Alliance that New Japan Pro Wrestling (NWA Member in Japan) has included the use of certain offensive images and symbols in the promotion of its upcoming Dominion event. The NWA does not approve of or condone the use of these images and symbols, and has requested that New Japan remove such images and symbols from their promotional materials. As the oldest and most storied promotional body in professional wrestling, the NWA is committed to our fans and their enjoyment of pro wrestling. Our sincerest apologies.” New Japan has since changed the poster and removed the symbols.
During his heyday in the 1970s and ’80s, the rotund Rose was the ultimate example of not judging a book by its cover. Despite his flabby physique, Rose was actually a gifted worker. He could deliver a nice dropkick, was a proficient bump-taker and cut good promos.
Rose was the top heel for a number of years in the Portland territory, where he had legendary feuds with Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka. I first saw Rose wrestle in person in the early ’80s during his stint in the WWF. He and champion Bob Backlund had some entertaining matches together. I remember how surprised I was that Rose could keep up in the ring with Backlund, who was in incredible shape.
In 1985, Rose became the answer to a trivia question. Wearing a mask and billed as The Executioner, he wrestled in the very first WrestleMania match, losing to Tito Santana.
Rose came back to the WWF later in his career and worked as an enhancement guy. Severely overweight at that point, his gimmick was that he demanded to be announced as weighing 217 pounds. Fans from that era probably recall the campy “Blow Away Diet” infomercial spoof that Rose did.
This afternoon’s ACW Hardcore Title bout between Steve Amos aka Jacob Ladder and Smurf Nation figurehead J.C. Bravo had no shortage of quality props, amongst them, a ladder (natch) wrapped in barbed wire, your obligatory staplers and cheese graters, etc. But even a jaded observer like myself had to stop and say (loudly) “WTF?” when Ladder employed his young son (above) to batter Bravo with a kendo stick (or as the Sandman might’ve called it, a Singapore Cane).
Though offering no thoughts on Charlie Hustle’s non-election to the Canadian Baseball Hall Of Fame, Mr. T had harsh words for The Mirror concerning the WWE’s decision to induct Pete Rose into their Celebrity Wing (link culled from Baseball Think Factory).
“WWE asked me to be in the Hall of Fame and I turned it down. You know why? They put Pete Rose in the wrestling Hall of Fame. This guy can’t even get into his own Hall of Fame.”
Speaking during his UK Get Some Nuts tour, he continued: “After they put Rose in they came and asked me and I said “You don’t insult me! You don’t put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame before me! I ain’t going to be a part of that.”
“They put him in and he only did one WrestleMania, and he didn’t even wrestle.”
As evidenced by the above clip, Rose did make multiple appearances at the WWE’s marquee event, being choke slammed by Kane (aka “The Big Red Machine”) at Wrestlemania XIV, XV and XVI.
The only thing I can think of to set off an old wrestler like Gagne, 82, and put him in the mood to throw nursing home resident Helmut Gutmann, age 97, around and possibly kill him, is if Guttman told Gagne he thought wrestling was fake. Gagne’s well-known feuds with other Germans, like Baron von Raschke, may also have been a factor. The Minneapolis Star Trib reports it here.
Minnesota pro wrestling legend Verne Gagne had an altercation with a fellow resident of a Bloomington health care facility, leading to the man’s death, a relative said today.
The incident between Gagne and Helmut Gutmann, 97, occurred Jan. 26 at the memory loss section of Friendship Village, said Ruth Hennig, a daughter of Gutmann.
Gutmann, who immigrated to the United States in 1936 as the Nazi threat grew, suffered a broken right hip and died Feb. 14.
“No one knows” what led to the altercation, said Hennig, in a telephone interview this morning from Boston. “I don’t think anyone was present when it began … or even if anything precipitated it.”
She said that because of her father’s dementia, he had “no memory at all” of his clash with Gagne and “didn’t understand why his hip hurt.”
The Hennepin County medical examiner’s office, Hennig said, has told the family that Gutmann’s death was “accidental.” However, medical examiner’s office investigator Mike Opitz said that a cause of death “hasn’t been officially certified.” State health officials, who regulate facilities such as Friendship Village, are unable to comment, citing data restrictions.
Police are investigating the death and trying to determine whether to recommend charges to the Hennepin County attorney’s office, said Deputy Chief Perry Heles.
Hennig said her family has yet to discuss whether they want Gagne prosecuted. “We’re still dealing with the death on an emotional level,” she said. “My mother [Betty] is pretty upset.”
Hennig added that the two men had clashed previously. “I don’t really know any details, but obviously it was not as severe as this,” she said.
Yahoo Sports’ Sean Leahy points out that Kings D Denis Gauthier, shown lowering the ka-boom on the Canadienns’ Josh Gorges, is the nephew of former WWF grappler Jaques Rougeau, aka The Mountie. In a wild coicidence, just a few hours before Gauthier attempted murder, his uncle returned to the public eye as part of the nostalgia-riffic Wrestleslam 2 autograph show in Birmingham, England. Apparently there is at least one place on Planet Earth where Virgil is considered a draw.
“After watching Mickey Rourke accept his Golden Globe,” sighed Newsday’s Alfonso Castillo, “I wrote that I hoped he would mention the plight of the pro wrestler in his acceptance speech if he won the Oscar.” You can file that one under “highly unlikely”, as Castillo explains :
Rourke told reporters on the red carpet for last night’s Screen Actor’s Guild awards that he is in talks to appear at WrestleMania and is gunning for Chris Jericho.
If WWE is actually planning for a match between Rourke and Jericho, that might explain where Jericho fits into the card, now that he lost the Rumble and seems like a sort of odd-man-out in the main event picture.
Nevertheless, Vince McMahon proves, once again, that – just like Ted used to say – “Everyone’s got a price.” After leaving WWE, Jesse Ventura was one of the company’s most outspoken critics, and hammered WWE for its role in Owen Hart’s death. But soon after being elected governor of Minnesota, he seemed to have a change of heart when he agreed to referee a match at SummerSlam 1999. When Wade Keller of the Pro Wrestling Torch called him out for apparently having his silence bought, Ventura pretty much blew him off.
Admittedly, this is a bit different. Rourke was never any kind of advocate for struggling pro wrestlers, but rather just an actor who took a job. I wouldn’t be surprised if WWE is offering Rourke more money to appear at Mania than he got for “The Wrestler.”
You’ve got to give McMahon some credit. How best to diffuse some of the negative publicity surrounding “The Wrestler” than to have the star of the movie give WWE his endorsement.
“I followed wrestling all through my 20s, and continued to order the major PPVs every year … right until (Chris)Benoit murdered his wife, suffocated his son and took his own life, in 2007. That was it for me” writes ESPN The Magazine’s Bill Simmons, who interrupts his lavish praise of Darren Aronofsky’s “The Wrestler” with a personal note to let us know that while he could turn a blind eye to 99 wrestlers dead before middle age, number 100 was just too much to bear. A tad less grandstandy is Bill Miller, who in writing for Dave Meltzer’s Wrestling Observer Online muses, “we wrestling fans know of the deaths and the sadness in the business, but what we often fail to realize is origin of it all.”
As affecting or satisfying or fulfilling as The Wrestler will be for most hardcore fans, it’s also mildly offensive. The business is shown in such a poor light that it is more likely to reinforce rather than question the decision lapsed fans have made to stay away. Everyone around the business is shown to be nice and personable, but also fundamentally deranged. Be it the aging star, the hardcore indy vet or the doting fans, they are societal misfits, all. They all want something to be bigger than it is. And they all want to ignore what it does to the players for at least enough time to enjoy the show.
In Mickey Rourke, the makers of this film seem to have chosen the perfect vessel for depicting the real. Much has been written about the parallels between Rourke’s life journey and that of his character, all of it poigniant. Both Randy the Ram and Mickey enjoyed stardom, partied too hard and fell out of the limelight. Both are now in line for redemption. Yet as a wrestling fan one can’t help but see one sadder fact that is not in parallel: Mickey Rourke the actor works in a business where his redemption can allow him to regain his place in life: money, fame, etc. Randy the wrestler works in a business where redemption means getting to wrestle in a National Guard Armory and receive a plaque at the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony.
It’s hard to tell what effect the movie will have on professional wrestling. It seems unlikely that such a punishing film will cause people to gain or regain their fandom. It seems likely that some people working in the business will see a bit of Randy the Ram in themselves or their peers and at least consider making some changes. In the end, though, I think the movie may affect wrestling fans the most. The perception of us may end up being crystallized through the audience’s reaction to Necro Butcher: a nice, respectful guy on the outside who has a side that will always leave him an outcast of society.
While President Elect Barack Obama’s early attempt to pander to woo professional wrestling fans was previously noted in this space, full credit to Newsday’s Alfonso Castillo, possibly the only daily newspaper writer in America to ponder “what might the Obama Presidency mean to the WWE and TNA?”
The War: Obama has opposed the war on Iraq and says he is committed to ending it. However, he also says he would refocus America’s efforts in fighting terrorism in Afghanistan. What does that mean for wrestling fans? For one, we can count on having more WWE Christmas with the Troops specials in the foreseeable future – perhaps hosted in Afghanistan rather than Iraq. But whether we are in Iraq or Afghanistan, as long as we’re at war in the Middle East, I guess we’ll keep getting stereotypical Arab heels, ala Muhammad Hassan and Sheik Abdul Bashir.
Education: Obama is in favor of pumping money into early childhood education, as well as making college more affordable by giving aid to students who commit to providing community service after graduating. With WWE’s core audience being the college age crowd, that could mean more educated wrestling fans. In turn, that could mean stronger demand for more sophisticated storylines instead of toilet humor. And maybe fans will start spelling better on the signs they take to live shows. Also, with Obama supporting better wages for quality teachers, maybe Matt Striker goes back to his old job.
Women’s rights: Obama supports a woman’s right to choose, equal pay for equal work, expanding the childcare tax credit and paid sick leave for parents. That could make for a better workplace for WWE’s Divas and TNA’s Knockouts. It could discourage employers from firing women once they get pregnant, as WWE did to Dawn Marie. It could also encourage promoters to pay their female wrestlers the same as their male ones, perhaps preventing a situation like TNA had when Gail Kim refused their low-ball contract renewal offer last summer.
Labor: Obama says he believes that workers should have the freedom to join a union without harassment or intimidation from their employers. Uh oh, Vince.
….and future spokesmodel for Sully’s Tees? Is there any greater testament — Hank Steinbrenner’s claims aside — to the global appeal of Larry Lucchino Nation than the manner in which this Iranian patriot has embraced the Red Sox?
It’s also nice to see the Iron Sheik has expanded on his usual repertoire of rambling homophobia and is now accepting party bookings from the MWF. Be it for an office Christmas bash or perhaps your daughter’s Bar Mitzvah, there are few entertainment options more enticing than watching the Sheik cut a promo on B. Brian Blair.
“Shea is a dump. Any person who likes Shea Stadium itself is either horribly drunk or horribly stoned (or, quite possibly, both). Too bad I won’t be in New York when they demolish it, so I could break-dance on it’s grave. Maybe to Beatles music, to honor Shea Stadium’s greatest moment.” – Gamingboy, Baseball Think Factory
Greatest moment? Not for the first time, Larry Zbysko has been royally dissed.
Radio shock jock Bubba the Love Sponge Clem will be the play-by-play announcer of a Hulk Hogan reality television show premiering on the CMT channel in the fall, according to a written announcement.
“Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling” will feature 10 celebrities training to be professional wrestlers. Clem says in the announcement that the new reality television show is “a dream come true.”
“Bubba has been one of my closest friends for well over 10 years and has dabbled in the wrestling biz with me for about as long,” Hogan, whose real name is Terry Bollea, says in the announcement. “When asked if I had anyone in mind to be the announcer, my eyes lit up and I yelled out loud, ‘Bubba!’ “
I’d actually had an entirely different reality program in mind for Bubba, but my proposal for “Sidekick Survivor” wasn’t well received, despite a suggested cast of Charles Oakley, Jimmy “Five Bellies” Gardner and Eddie Trunk.
Who amongst us wouldn’t love to see a photograph of Ric Flair’s daughter putting a uniformed member of law enforcement in the figure four? Well, tough fucking luck. The jpg above is as good as it gets. Though it seems Ashley Fliehr is facing some serious charges in Chapel Hill, her famous dad should look on the bright side. Following Friday’s altercation with local police, she’s assembled a more credible grappling resume than her brother David ever managed.
Count me amongst those blissfully unaware Jerry Lynn was still active (or the former David Flair paramour Daffney, for that matter), but this evening’s ACW card might well take precedence over Texas/UTEP. Ring Of Honor alumnus Delirious is described by his wiki entry as “known for his outrageous antics, such as running around aimlessly and screaming wildly when the opening ring bell sounds, and speaking in a rambling and mostly incoherent fashion.” So if nothing else, we can be pretty sure it’s not Rick Barnes under the mask.
Edward Walter Spulnik aka Killer Kowalski, a pro wrestling veteran for 40 years, and the bridge between the eras of his tutor Lou Thesz, and protege Triple-H, passed away yesterday at the age of 81. For persons of a certain age growing up in the Northeastern US, Kowalski was the prototypical monster heel, one whose malevolent charisma compared quite favorably to the stars of today. The Baltimore Sun’s Kevin Eck recalls the first time he witnessed The Killer in action :
I was either 6 or 7, and my parents and I were seated about five rows from the ring. Kowalski’s opponent that night was Tony Garea. With his chiseled features and wavy hair, Garea was the epitome of a white meat babyface. He also was my mother’s favorite wrestler.
In contrast, Kowalski looked as if he had just stepped out of a nightmare. At 6 feet 7 and 275 pounds, he was Frankenstein’s monster in wrestling tights. Unlike the fictional character, however, Kowalski was anything but stiff and plodding. Typically, he would hunch over menacingly, curl his hands into claws out in front of his chest and then pounce on his helpless prey.
Before Garea knew what was happening, Kowalski was all over him. I was close enough to the action to hear Kowalski growling as he viciously stomped his helpless opponent. At one point, Garea screamed out in pain as Kowalski applied his infamous stomach claw hold. I believed it was all real, and I was terrified that Kowalski was going to come into the crowd and make me his next victim.
In other words, Kowalski did his job extremely well.
The former Paul E. Dangerously writes, “it’s sad to see Ric Flair advertised for some low rent wrestling shows at this stage of his life.” As opposed, to say, the not-quite-in-his-prime Terry Funk headlining ECW’s first PPV card (and bleeding on your humble editor as the credits rolled).
Heyman tells the The Sun’s readers “if you check with the producers and vendors and promotions, you’ll see I’ve turned down numerous conventions, autograph signings, guest appearances, booker deals, shoot tapes, you name it.” Admirable stuff, and I’m sure Paul has left at least three figures on the table as a result. “Is this how you want to see Flair nowadays? Isn’t just a little uncomfortable?” asks Heyman, and while the clip undoubtedly lacks what Don Cornelius might call production value, if the Nature Boy did manage to retire gracefully, he’d be one of the few guys to have done so.
When CSTB first sent me this clip, I thought it was Ozzie Guillien spinning his rap career into a post-season WWE tour. Nope, it’s an episode of “Santino’s casa,” in which the WWE’s Santino Marella trash-talks the Cubs to Bob Howry and Ryan Dempster. Casa, a comedy heel, currently holds the Inter-Continental Championship Belt courtesy of lady wrestler Beth Phoenix, aka The Glamazon, who wins matches for him. The ironic career parallels of Marella and Howry never seems to dawn on Home-Run Bob, even whle standing next to Dempster. Anyway, I congratulate Howry on topping Marsella at his own game, and in his future career as the new Bobby Heenan. Speaking of new careers …
In a week when the Cardinals publicly forfeit the season, the Cubs sweep the Pirates on the road, when Mark DeRosa reveals he’s a fantasy football nerd who plays four different on-line leagues (you’re living the fantasy dude! You have groupies and free beer anywhere in Chicago! Get off the fucking computer!), and the Trib Co narrows Cub bidders down to five possible captains of industry – the real news is this just may be my last Cubs Mailbag here at CSTB. And I don’t think I’m announcing this prematurely at all – but I’ve e-mailed the Sun-Times as to my availability for Jay Mariotti’s job. If Mariotti wants on the internet so bad – and he’s apparently the one writer in the world who can’t figure out how to get on the Internet – then the mailbag awaits you, sir. Since he has no job and God knows how much income-producing hours I’ve wasted here … well, Rog, he’s all yours.
As to this week’s mailbag, sadly, the Cubs’ status as the best team in baseball and #1 in the NL Central since John McCain first joined the Navy to shell Vera Cruz has not attracted a better class of fan. No, were Carre Muskat not the last staff writer still on the Tribune payroll (sorry you had to give up your health care, kid!) she would most likely answer these questions a bit more honestly than her job description allows. Thus, I am happy to help out, via the future of sports journalism, the Internet. Time to roll up my sleeves for the last time …
Steve W., Louisville, Ky.: How much longer is manager Lou Piniella willing to give Fukudome to get his offense going before he opts to replace him in right field? … I used to be optimistic when Fukudome came to the plate, now I’m not.
Steve, time to get optimistic again. Fukodome hit what Lou would call a “nice” pinch-hit home run last Sunday against the Nationals. In a closed door meeting with Lou last week, just the two of them, no interpreters or Japanese speaking lawyers allowed, Lou explained that Fukodome’s work visa specifically includes a contractual option to serve with the Illinois National Guard in Baghdad should his average fall below .275. Lou is known among players as a motivator.
Scott P., Trevor, Wis. I understand that the Cubs do not have a clear MVP candidate who stands out, stats-wise. I believe it’s Geovany Soto. He is a rookie catcher who has led a pitching staff to the second-best ERA in the National League, has hit consistently all season long and is a catcher who rarely takes a day off.
Scott, Scott, Scott – getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren’t we? As post-season vets like Jim Edmonds and Lou Piniella point out, none of that is an issue until the Cubs gets some things done. Currently, the team is evaluating parade routes so as not to collide with Obama’s homecoming inaugural when he wins the White House. World Series rings have to be sized, Bob Howry’s World Series share to be disputed, and allotting team bats to world leaders now asking that the national museums of their homelands each get one … well, MVP awards will have to wait until the first week of September, is all I’m saying.
Javi T., San Juan, Puerto Rico: Looking at Minor League stats, I’ve seen Jason Dubois tearing it up in Triple-A. Is there any chance we might see him with the big league club this year, and if so, in what role?
Good question, Javi. The big team indeed wants Monsieur Dubois in Chicago, as mlb sees him as the great Gallic hope in bringing French players back into the game. Like the RBI program (Reviving Baseball in Inner Cities), MLB’s RBIF program searches for today’s Lajoies, Durochers, and Lefebvres, as Eric Gagne has driven far too many of his young countrymen to misguided Savate attempts in the UFC. Jason Dubois carries the hopes of the free French world on his shoulders.
Conor M., Glenview, Ill.: Now that the Cubs are flirting with the best record in baseball, it makes me wonder about the significance. How have teams with the best record in previous seasons fared in the playoffs?
Let me put it to you this way, Conor – the very idea of the Cubs as “best team in baseball” in the post-season means history is hardly your best guide. You would fare better studying Casey Kasem’s all-time most requested song lists or Keith Olbermann’s primary guesses. You may as well ask, “Traditionally, how have African-American presidents fared in their second terms versus white Presidents?”
Ken B., Montgomery, Ill.: If a pinch-hitter bats twice in one inning, does he have to go into the game?
Ken, if your pinch hitter hits twice in the same inning, you’re hardly in a “pinch” anymore, right? Gotta think these things though, pal.
Todd D., Chicago: My brother and I are trying to research the Cubs uniforms. From 1997-present, the uniforms have pretty much stayed the same. There was an era between 1984-93 when the Cubs wore the pullover jersey. The uniform we are trying to find is the one with the cursive Cubs logo on the chest that was worn sometime between 1994-96. We have found baseball cards during that time frame, but we can’t confirm that it was worn. It almost seems like a conspiracy to hide those uniforms. I have also heard rumors that they got rid of the cursive Cubs logo because it looked too much like the word “Cuba” on their chest. Please confirm that the uniforms did in fact exist and the time frame in which they were worn. I have been trying to find one to purchase, but it is nearly impossible.
Yes, Todd, there’s a “conspiracy.” Mailbag is already working on the definitive Cub Uniform History, and we’re telling you now, back off. Mailbag bought up all 1994-96 uniforms and you will NEVER get a decent photo of one for your “research.” You are so wrong on the pullover theory it’s laughable. The fact that you are using baseball cards and consulting on-line mailbags to complete your work tells me you and your brother are imbeciles. I already have the whole “Cuba” scandal, the Ernie Banks/Billy Williams sock trade, and Shawn Dunston cup scandal completely locked down. The subject is owned completely by me, and that includes my concurrent history of Cub shoes, “Laces High.”
Ed K., Clinton, Iowa : Watching the Little League World Series, I couldn’t help by wonder if Mike Fontenot is related to Kennon Fontenot of the Lake Charles, La., team?
They’re twins.
Underage Chinese gymnasts might scandalize the Olympics, but under baseball’s “special agreement” with the Federal government – which guarantees a 19th century monopoly to MLB – baseball is also able to take advantage of 19th century child labor laws. Mike’s ready for the big leagues, but Kennon needs a little work. The Cubs set him a 15-hour a day schedule, two meals a day (except Sundays when he does yard work for extra cash and pays for his own meals).
Chris A., Gladstone, Mich.: I saw an article about Matt Cerda being the last guy struck out by Danny Almonte in the 2001 Little League World Series and that the Cubs drafted Cerda. I’m curious about how he’s doing with the Cubs.
The Cubs are always looking for guys who can strike out, Chris. Cerda, another underage “star of tomorrow,” plays for the Cubs’ in Mesa, Ariz. When Rich Hill visited Mesa this summer, he bought beer for Cerda who turned 14 in July … unless the Arizona stores Cerda hits are on the McCain family beer runs, in which case Trib influence in the GOP keeps Cerda’s locker well-stocked.
Charlie P., New Johnsonville, Tenn.: Who was the last switch-hitter for the Cubs to hit a home run from both sides of the plate in the same inning? I say it was Mark Bellhorn, but a buddy of mine says no Cubs switch-hitter has ever done that. A free dinner rides on the answer.
Mailbag never answers personal questions about player “preferences,” and your turning legit baseball slang into gay subculture innuendo (”Bellhorn?”) is inappropriate for the Cub mailbag’s underage readers – who should get back to work, anyway.
Ryan D., Springfield, Ill.: I have to correct you on Greg Maddux’s wins with the Cubs. He has won 133, not 178. I had to look it up because I knew he couldn’t have won a majority of his games with the Cubs.
Ryan “D”– as in Ryan Dempster? What a surprise. Correct Ryan, Greg Maddux wasn’t, as you like to say, “all that” as a Cub, and you are still the fans’ all-time favorite. Thanks for e-mailing – again. Your helpful “suggestions” on rounding down tenths of a point (instead of rounding up) when citing Carlos Zambrano’s innings pitched, Kerry Wood’s fastball averaging 93.5 and not 93.7 mph as I have stated, or mentioning in this space that Carlos Marmol was an “all-star” without mentioning that he was an “all-star substitute” for an injured Kerry Wood, have all been duly noted. I have also made this clear to your agent, at your request. And please stop going over my head to Sam Zell, who has a lot more on his mind right now than getting me to mention your stake in that Chevy dealership in Downers Grove.
(the Baron can be seen 11pm weeknights…and that is all the people need to know)
“Though ESPN Classic is normally loaded with old garbage — pro wrestling, American Gladiators — instead of classic sports, it carried yesterday’s Baseball Hall Of Fame inductions as if they made a good fit.” – Phil Mushnick, New York Post, July 28
A cursory scan of today’s TV listings reveals ESPN Classic (aka “The Ocho”) features “American Gladiators” at 6pm, and AWA Wrestling at 11pm. By what measure does Mushnick consider one twelfth of ESPN Classic’s daily schedule “loaded”? Would the Post’s TV sports columnist have us believe a channel that serves up a daily dose of Howie Schwab and Denise Austin is unworthy of Goose Gossage’s acceptance speech? By what twisted perspective is Verne Gagne’s venerable midwestern wrestling promotion deemed “old garbage”, while impressionable viewers have just as much “Arli$$” foisted upon them?
Authorities might have requested a psychiatric evalution, but here’s my professional assessment : The Sandman aka Hardcore Hak, is just a little too real for the City of Yonkers.
Then again, if you want Franken to win, it’s clearly a heel turn. Jesse “The Body” Ventura today is seriously hinting (a Carlin oxymoron if ever there was one) at a run for the US Senate against Al Franken in Minnesota. In this reporter’s humble opinion, Jesse not only has Franken matched in political background, but he’s also as funny as Franken (if I can go by The Body’s stint as the WWF’s heel announcer back in the 80s). Jake Tapper reports it here. Tapper, aka James Bong of Suck.com, has fallen on hard times since Suck by getting a gig as an ABC News correspondent, but everybody has to pay the rent.
I spent much of Sunday afternoon rooting for Spain to defeat Germany in the Euro 2008 final. Not because I have anything particular against Germany, nor because I have much affection for Spain’s racist fucktard manager Luis Aragones, but rather, Spain serving as host for the Ultimate Warrior’s comeback match last Wednesday night led me to believe that lovely nation had already suffered far too much.
The WWE’s Chris Jericho, son of former Bruins/Kings/Rangers LW Ted Irvine, as well the most famous public figure who actually likes Helloween, displayed unusual patience in submitting to the following interrogation at the hands of the Guardian’s Paolo Bandini
We see you’re currently the WWE’s Intercontinental champion.What exactly is intercontinental about that title?
That means I am the champion of all of the continents. As far as the water and skies go I don’t have any jurisdiction, but if it’s on land then I’m pretty much in charge.
Right, so what’s left for the actual WWE champion?
Well the WWE champion’s in charge of boats and planes and stuff like that. If you’re a pirate, the WWE champion is pretty much in charge. If a pirate comes up to me I really can’t do anything about it.
What’s the strangest request you’ve had from a fan?
To sign a tattoo they had of my face. I mean getting that in the first place seems about as smart as getting Ricky Gervais tattoo. In five years time you’re going to be asking: “What the hell was I doing?”
It’s been a few months since we’ve run an item on The Former Ultimate Warrior. While the shoot interview above is several months old, I do hope for those seeing it for the first time, it proves as reliably provocative. Some of us have been waiting years for Gary Cole to get a crack at a lead role, and hopefully this will be just the catalyst.
If, by some odd chance, you’re actually interested in injecting FACTS into Bob Smizik’s one-man crusade against the most successful sports talk show in Pittsburgh history – Hines Ward came on my show ALL THE TIME prior to me calling him out as the narcissistic phony he is. Attention junkie that he is, he couldn’t get enough of doing it. So what he said on Costas – as quoted by Smizik – is factually incorrect. I don’t criticize Hines because he won’t come on the show. I criticize Hines because his attitude is incredibly egotistic and selfish, something your crack staff of reporters might get around to writing if they weren’t as “buddy-buddy” with him as I allegedly am with the Penguins.
I didn’t know that you had to “confront” everybody you criticize. If this is the case, how come Smizik never “confronts” me? It’s true I don’t show up in every locker room in town because hey, if you’ve seen one naked guy, you’ve seen ‘em all. But I’m in the Penguins locker room quite often, and I’ve absolutely SAVAGED Georges Laraque and Michel Therrien all year long. I haven’t gone to Steelers game for years because
I’ve been doing a post-game radio show which necessitates being on site immediately after the game concludes. But this year, I’m not, so I will be going to Steelers’ games, and to Hines Ward, James Harrison, etc., I say – if you want some, come get some. Does anybody think I’m actually afraid? As for not coming around for months at a time, when did Smizik, Cook and Collier start showing up at Penguins’ games? You could hear the THUD when “one of America’s great (gag) newspapers finally jumped on THAT bandwagon.
Your one-sided coverage of my career is laughable. Last quarter, my show had the highest ratings book in Pittsburgh sports talk history, and it never got in the paper. Now, with this HBO exposure, the sky’s the limit (cough). If I were you, I’d can Smizik and hire me to write a column again (not that I’d accept). Or, better yet, I’d hire me to do your jobs, because you’re clearly not very good at them.
Frank Fitzpatrick’s Philadelphia Inquirer story on Kyle Kendrick and the final Phillies exhibition also seems to tell us how a certain overly excitable #1 starter planned to spend the night before Opening Day:
The impatient Phillies regulars were set to depart for Philadelphia early, as soon as Kendrick changed his spikes and finished talking with reporters. But as his teammates filed out of the tiny dressing room, the questions kept coming.
Frank Coppenbarger, the manager of travel and equipment, reminded the pitcher that the bus was ready to roll. Pitching coach Rich Dubee nudged him, urging the writers to let Kendrick leave.
Finally, Brett Myers, who will open the season this afternoon at Citizens Bank Park against Washington’s Matt Chico, offered the compelling argument.
I probably won’t be shelling out the PPV cash for Wrestlemania XIV this Sunday night, not unless the Braves/Nats game is rained out. And besides, no matter what happens when Ric Flair takes on Shawn Michaels, I think we might’ve already seen a superior performance from the former last night.
While WBC champ Floyd Mayweather has yet to admit that “Dancing With The Stars ” is fake, he openly endorses the reality of WWE. “Wrestling takes care of business right on the spot,” Mayweather said. “Whatever they say they’re going to do, they do it right on the spot. There’s no waiting three, four, five months. Quick results, quick money. Quick big money, too.”
Mayweather has accepted a $20 million check from WWE’s Shane McMahon to wrestle The Big Show in WWE’s “WrestleMania XXIV” at Citrus Bowl in Orlando, Fla., on March 30. The AP’s Beth Harris reports that while boxing and dance fans may object to seeing Mayweather demeaned by appearing in public in spandex tights instead of shiny trunks or sequined vests and matching spats, one has to look at the big picture, as mapped out by Mayweather’s guru, Leonard Ellerbee.
The wrestling gig is another part of Ellerbee’s carefully crafted plan to expand Mayweather’s fan base.
“Either I’m going to be a genius with this or I’m the biggest idiot,” he said. “Boxers have such a short window of opportunity. He can’t become any bigger in boxing.”
Mayweather, left, as seen with his
Dancing With the Stars partner, David Wells
That’s why Ellerbee snagged Mayweather a spot on ABC’s reality hit “Dancing With the Stars.” Mayweather didn’t win the disco ball trophy, but he wasn’t the first one voted off, either.
“It crossed him over and took him into the households of many middle-aged Middle Americans and turned him into a mainstream superstar,” Ellerbee said. “Now when Floyd goes into the grocery store, the first thing 65-year-old ladies say is, `You’re Floyd from `Dancing With the Stars.”’
Mayweather plans to train with WWE Latino star Ray Mysterio, who wears a mask on his face.
“I’m outside the box,” he said, lapsing into the third person. “Floyd Mayweather is not just a fighter, he’s an entertainer. That’s what the world must know.”
A recent column in a student newspaper in Rhode Island suggested that there have been sightings of the ghost of Hart in Kemper’s rafters.
The column, called “Haunted America,” runs regularly in The Anchor, a student newspaper at Rhode Island College, and discusses various ghost sightings and suspected supernatural activities across the country. We should note that the column discussing the ghost story at Kemper Arena had no attributions.
“Employees (at Kemper Arena) have claimed to have seen (Hart) in the rafters wearing the costume he was wearing for his gimmick,” the newspaper wrote, “as well as the cable before he began the descent. There have also been reports of flickering lights and other power sources that seem to go on and off in some areas of the arena.”
Hart plunged 78 feet to his death at Kemper Arena when the quick-release mechanism on his harness opened as he was lowered from a catwalk.
Mike Young, assistant general manager at Kemper Arena, said he has received some e-mail about the ghost story from outside sources but not from any of his employees.
“I haven’t had any employees here talk to me about it,” Young said. “I can’t speak for all of them, but I haven’t noticed anything unusual going on in the rafters. But who knows?”
Supernatural “experts” suggest that even ghosts need a power supply, which may explain the flickering lights at Kemper. Young has another explanation.
“We get about 300 power spikes a year inside Kemper,” Young said. “And KCPL has them all documented. We’re on the same power grid as downtown Kansas City, so anytime there’s a spike there or an accident or bad weather, we get power surges or spikes, too.”
Who amongst us, when learning of the untimely passing of Heath Ledger, didn’t say to themselves, “wow, I wonder what The Ultimate Warror would say about all of this?” While Ledger’s death provided the Westboro Baptist Church with grist for their homophobic mill, for Jim Hellwig, it’s just another roundabout route to taking a cheap shot at Hulk Hogan. From Warrior Machete (link courtesy Sam Frank) :
Apparently, Leather Hedger had sleeping troubles and anxiety and dealt with terrible mood swings. So do soldiers but they don’t self-destructively fuck up their lives. In fact, they don’t sleep, handle anxiety and mood swings while dealing with whether or not they might at any moment lose their life. And they do this all the while they are dangerously protecting the freedom of others to fuck up their own. By the way, how many 28 (or older or younger) year old soldiers met their death yesterday? It’s not easy to find out. None of them made the headlines of any news.By today’s standard, though, I do have to agree that he was a great father. Perhaps even greater then the father of the year, Hulk Hogan. After all, Leather Hedger did what it took to kill himself. His kid is without a father, yes, but the negative influence is now removed and his own child has the chance for a full recovery. Hogan, on the other hand, won’t go quite that far. He insists on sticking around to keep further ruining, and profiting off of, the parentally mismanaged lives of his own children.
It is sad and tragic….that we don’t demand attention be paid to greater things.
“RAW Greatest Hits” is now in stores and I was wondering if you’d be interested in posting a couple of mp3s to help us get the word out. As a child of the 80s, I might still be partial to The Hulkster’s “Real American,” but the pairing of uber-producer Rick Rubin with The Undertaker or Shawn Michaels is a blog-worthy experience all it’s own.
Anyway, we have promo copies of the whole album available for review, or if you’d like to conduct a contest/giveaway on Cant Stop the Bleeding. Drop me a line and let me know if you’re interested, and of course, let me know if there’s anything else I can provide!
Best,
Jeff Cambron, Attention PR
Thanks, Jeff. I once saw Rick Rubin and Glenn Danzig at a poorly attended NWA card in Uniondale, NY. I don’t recall the music that night being particularly notable, but granted, that was more than twenty years ago. I’m sure we’ve all come a long way since.
Then again, it’s very, very hard to improve on the classics.
