Can’t Stop The Bleeding » 2006 » August

08.31.06

The Fiver On West Ham’s Shocking Coup

Posted in Football at 9:12 pm

In what has to be considered the biggest transfer surprise since Ken Griffey Jr. decided Cincinnati was sufficiently close to his Florida home, West Ham United have acquired Argentine internationals Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano from Brazil’s Corinthians.

For the Guardian’s usually unflappable Paul Doyle and Paolo Bandini, this measures pretty high on the WTF scale.

Unless Salvador Dali faked his own death in 1989 and is, in fact, living in a derelict tenement in east London as a 102-year-old West Ham fan, it’s safe to say no Hammers supporter could have imagined the news that broke this afternoon, viz: that the recently-promoted minnows have upgraded from Hayden Mullins and Bobby Zamora to … Javier Mascherano and Carlos Tevez!

Short of Beyoncé Knowles ditching rich and successful rapster Jay-Z to hook up with your broke, bungling Fiver, no match-up could be more shocking. After all, the Argentinian stars have for years been linked with Arsenal, the MU Rowdies, Bayern Munich, Milan and a slew of other glamorous clubs. As well as Spurs and Portsmouth. “The pair have been signed for an undisclosed fee and put pen to paper on permanent contracts this afternoon,” declared the West Ham website not two minutes ago. “All other aspects of the transfers will remain confidential and undisclosed,” it continued mysteriously, as the whiff of rat wafted through Fiver Towers.

Might the dazzling duo be cosying up to the Hammers to showcase their ability to adapt to European football, thereby jacking up the fee and wages they could command from fatter cats in year or two? Could they simply be amused by the prospect of pushing Tottenham “delusions of grandeur” Hotspur farther down the London hierarchy? Or did Kia Joorabchian sway the pair to join West Ham by speaking very highly of the club?
“Who?” we hear you ask.
“West Ham,” we answer. “That hokey outfit from grassroots London.”
“Not them, you clowns, this Joorabchian geezer,” you retort.
“Oh, he’s the Iran-born, London-based businessman who pondered taking over West Ham last year. He may have told the lads it’s a lovely club. Incidentally, he runs Media Sports Investments, the company that two years ago became the main financial backers of Corinthians. It was instrumental in amazing South America by bringing Tevez from Boca Juniors to Brazil in 2004. Spanish newspaper AS has reported Roman Abramovich has a stake in his company, but Joorabchian has rubbished these claims with great vigour.”

Of course the fact that the pair have not joined a club likely to challenge, say, Chelsea for domestic or European honours is obviously coincidental.

Sir Charles, Unafraid Of Gay Cooties

Posted in Basketball at 5:15 pm

…but shockingly, he can resist the charms of Chris Meyers.

“I think if they want to get married, God bless them,” Barkley said. “Gay marriage is probably 1 percent of the population, so it’s not like it’s going to be an epidemic. Hey, trust me, I’m never going to kiss you and say, ‘Chris, you’re sexy.”‘

Heyman : Sultan Of Surly Staying In S.F.

Posted in Baseball at 4:59 pm

SI.com’s Jon Heyman describes Barry Bonds re-upping with the Giants in ‘07 as “common sense”.

“He’s going to want $10 million, and there’s only one team I can see giving it to him. That’s the Giants,” one opposing executive said. (Another executive thought that figure was on the high side, that Bonds would need to accept non-guaranteed incentives to get there, even with the Giants. But that executive also sees Bonds staying in San Francisco.)

Giants people understandably want more information before negotiating with Bonds. They want to see how his court case turns out and how he finishes out the season. The legal matter may drag on for a while, what with Bonds’ former trainer Greg Anderson refusing to testify and back in prison for what could be a long time. And as for Bonds’ performance, it’s showing great signs of life. “He’s playing really well,” the competing GM said. Bonds’ slugging percentage is up to .512, his on-base percentage to .459 and his batting average from the mid-.230s to .258 after his 12-for-23 hot streak.

There’s also a growing question as to who else will want him nearly as much as the Giants. While a slim majority of major league executives interviewed here a few weeks ago said Bonds would be able to find a job elsewhere, there’s that question of “Where?” And that bigger question of “How much?”

The A’s and the Angels are the two most obvious places that could offer Bonds a chance to stay on the West Coast and to DH. But I couldn’t find any evidence that either will seriously pursue him.

While Bonds and the Giants — 3 games off the NL Wild Card pace — take on John Smoltz tonight in Atlanta, the Nats have jumped out to an early 2-0 lead over W.C. contenders Philadelphia, scoring a pair in the first inning off Randy Wolf.

Dioner Navarro, good, Dave Navarro, very very bad. For today at least. The former (above) hit a game-tying 8th inning HR off Matt Thornton, and Tampa Bay went on to beat the White Sox, 5-3 in ten innings at the Cell earlier Thursday. Chicago squandered an opportunity to gain ground on Detroit, 6-4 losers to the Yankees and slump-busting A-Rod.

Either David Wells is headed to San Diego or Terry Francona thought starting Julian Tavarez against the Blue Jays tonight would be a good way to see if anyone was still paying attention.

The Reds signed Jason Johnson, most recently of Boston, previously of Cleveland, to a minor league deal. Wayne Krivsky might not win Exec Of The Year, but he’s the most fervent dumpster diver of recent memory.

Colts’ Vinatieri Has A Busted Hoof

Posted in Gridiron at 4:42 pm

All of a sudden, the Liquored-Up Kicker doesn’t look so bad by comparison. From the Indianapolis Star’s Phil Richards.

Clarification of the nature and extent of the injury to Indianapolis Colts placekicker Adam Vinatieri’s left ankle should come tomorrow, when coach Tony Dungy promised a doctor’s report would be issued.

“He has a sprained ligament, not a fractured bone in the ankle, and he’s on pace for the opener,” team spokesman Craig Kelley said after practice. “That’s what we feel and that’s the extent of our comment.”

The question arose because earlier in the day, Vinatieri’s mother, Judy Vinatieri, said the Colts kicker suffered a broken bone in his left, or plant, foot.

“That’s what he told us about a week and a half ago,” Judy Vinatieri said. “They sent him to a specialist. They found a small broken bone in his foot.”

Vinatieri hasn’t kicked in a game since suffering the injury during conditioning drills on Aug. 14. The Colts open the regular season Sept. 10 at the New York Giants.

On the bright side, Mrs. Vinatieri had no further updates on Carl Pavano’s condition.

The Buffalo News’ Bob Disceare has a problem with the NFL’s salary structure, in particular, rookie compensation.

Does an orthopedic surgeon straight out of residency leapfrog Dr. Frank Jobe and Dr. James Andrews on the earnings list?

Is the bright, young attorney made a partner before he tackles his first case?

Yet the highest paid tight end in the National Football League is Vernon Davis (above), who was granted a five-year, $25 million deal with the San Francisco 49ers, with $15 million of it guaranteed. And that’s just to find out if Davis, the No. 6 overall pick in the April draft, is good enough to play in the NFL.

It’s absurd is what it is. Wouldn’t you want to be on the set when the producer tells Sean Penn, “See that kid over there? We’re paying him twice as much as you. Yeah, this is his first movie. He’s a little green. But you should see the way he hammered his lines in the school production of “Oliver.’ We think he’s going to be a good one.”

Like that wouldn’t result in a murder rap?

Strange thing is, these top rookies always hit camp noting how much they stand to learn from the veterans. They can’t wait to pick the brains of players in the know. And why not? Within the context of the salary cap they’ve already picked their pockets.

Dicesare seems to know almost as much about the movie business as he does professional football. And when was the last time we read anything about Sean Penn taking a swing at someone, 15 years ago?

To Quote Hank Jr., “Are You Ready For Some Confusing, Conceptual Art?”

Posted in Fashion, Gridiron at 4:07 pm


Even Ed Hochuli looks terrible in the new Reebok uniform (image courtesy Mark Ohe)

I Have A Perfectly Good Excuse For Today’s Late Start…

Posted in Baseball at 3:04 pm

…and it’s all this guy’s fault.

Anyhow, I wasn’t quite sure why Modesto left Taiwan’s Ching Lo out there to die for so long in last night’s 13-4 loss to San Jose, but after I got a load of the Nuts’ relief corps, it made a little more sense.

It was truly awesome to be in the same zip code as Len Sakata, never mind the same ballpark.

Thrilling as this California League contest might’ve been, apparently it didn’t hold a candle to the Inland Empre local derby between Lake Elsinore and Rancho Cucamonga. 30 runs, 25 hits, completed in a crisp 3:15.

Tigers : Last Night A DJ Saved My Life

Posted in Baseball at 2:37 pm

Hot Butter’s “Popcorn”, inexplicably played over the Yankee Stadium’s PA moments before Craig Monroe’s fateful 3-run HR last night.

Though I suspect the AL East is all but wrapped up, perhaps it was a mistake to put Howard Spira in charge of the song selection?

08.30.06

Olney : Wells To S.D. For Kottaras

Posted in Baseball at 8:49 pm

From ESPN. com and Buster Olney :

The Red Sox moved steadily toward the completion of a trade of veteran left-hander David Wells, identifying Class AAA catcher George Kottaras (above) as the player they want if they complete a deal with the Padres. Boston has continued to talk to the Dodgers and Cardinals and perhaps the Reds, but it appears that San Diego is the front-runner to get Wells.

“I don’t think there’s any doubt now that he’s going to be traded,” said one source familiar with the conversations.

Wells is from San Diego and has pitched for the Padres in the past, and it may be best for all parties that he winds up going where he wants to go, because there is the possibility that at age 43, Wells would simply retire if he didn’t like the team to which he was traded.

Kottaras is playing for Triple-A Portland, where he is hitting .233 with two homers and 13 RBI. The Red Sox organization is in need of catching, and Kottaras has a reputation as a solid defender.

The Boston Globe’s Nick Cafardo reported earlier today that LA turned down Boston’s request for OF Matt Kemp. In the same section, Gordon Edes, searching desperately for something positive to report, mentions that T.J. Matthews signed a minor league deal with the Red Sox, and “tickets are still available” for PawSox games likely to feature rehab stints from V-Tek, Trot Nixon and Alex Gonzalez.

Major Pussy Awards Announced

Posted in Cats, Gridiron at 8:02 pm

From the AP / MSNBC :

A cat rescued two years ago from Philadelphia’s Veterans Stadium is being honored as pet of the year.

The cat, named Hagrid-of-Hogwarts, was one of a litter of two-week-old kittens removed from the stadium just before it was imploded.

Now, the brown-and-white tabby has been named best household pet for 2006 by the American Cat Fanciers Association. He beat out 821 other cats who competed in 50 shows across America and Canada.

Judges liked Hagrid’s glossy coat and his eager way of playing. He also drew attention with his thumb-like extra toe on each front paw, which he uses to scoop up toys.

In a related story, Junior (shown above) has been named CSTB’s Worst Cat Of All Time. He beat out 2 other cats and several cat ghosts. Judges cited his intense clinginess, tendency to vomit repeatedly and near-chronic flatuence. He also drew attention with his cruelty towards other animals and thoroughly selfish demeanor.

Barra : Where’s A-Rod’s Maris?

Posted in Baseball at 7:45 pm

Chien-Ming Wang (above) outduelled Nate Robertson earlier today as the Yankees beat the Tigers, 2-0 in the first game of a twinbill. The Third Baseman was 0-3 and might not have received a candygram, warm hug nor standing ovation from the sparse crowd in attendance. The Village Voice’s Allan Barra, while pointng out that “no athlete in American professional sports has more separating him from the average fan than Alex Rodriguez,” does cite historical precedent for the sort of hysterical abuse A-Rod’s received.

When he came to bat in the first game of the Boston massacre series (in which he hit .333 with no home runs but scored or drove in 10 of the Yankees’ 49 runs), the Red Sox fans let loose with torrents of abuse, prompting Yankee announcer Michael Kay to quip, “That must make A-Rod feel like it’s a home game.” “I’ve never heard anything like it,” says Alex Belth of the Bronx Banter website. “There may have been booing for a Yankee player that was more vicious than this, but not in the last 20 years at least.”

Veteran sportswriter and Lou Gehrig biographer Ray Robinson has heard something like it. “The torrent of boos that Yankee fans inflicted on Mickey Mantle from about 1958 to 1960 was shocking,” recalls Robinson. “What was baffling about it was that Mantle had, by 1959, two Most Valuable Player awards and five World Series rings. I’ll say this: Rodriguez has reacted to the booing with a lot more maturity than Mantle did. Mickey led the league in smashed water coolers and batting helmets.”

Though the booing of Mantle is now largely forgotten, many old-timers recall it as lasting up to the 1961 season, when Roger Maris became the target of fan abuse, and Mantle, almost overnight, was transformed into a hero. It doesn’t look as if there’s any Roger Maris in sight to take the heat off Alex Rodriguez.

Clearly there’s only one thing the Bombers can do to alievite A-Rod’s pain : hire Barry Pepper and let the fans (old ones, at least) pelt him with rocks and garbage. If need be, draft in the half dozen people that rented “Knockaround Guys”.

Carl Pavano has been told not to pitch for two weeks. They might want to advise him against driving, too.

The Mets aquired catcher Mike Nickeas from Texas today in exchange for OF Victor Diaz. Mike DeFelice’s playoff share keeps getting smaller.

Zito On Fire, A’s Poised For The Sweep

Posted in Baseball at 4:38 pm

Though I’m suffering a slight cultural hangover after witnessing Chan Marshall cover The Hot Boyz last night, the considerable charms of a Curt Schilling/Barry Zito matchup were too tempting to resist. Well, that and it’s Dollar Dog day at McAfee. I’ve got a labrador and a collie/greyhound mix at home in Austin, and they’d be furious if I passed up a chance to adopt another hound for a mere buck.


Oakland are ahead, 4-1, with Bobbly Kielty having taken Schilling deep in the 2nd.Barry Zito just induced Dustin Pedroia to fly oiut to left with the bases loaded in the top of the 6th ; Zito (above) has 7 K’s on the afternoon.

Boston’s vaunted traveling support are conspicous by their abscence. Either that 3-16 stretch really put a crimp in their swagger, or Oakland’s baseball fans aren’t nearly so quick to put up their seats on StubHub for the sake of filthy Boston lucre.

I thought I saw Mike Timlin signing autographs over by the Red Sox pen, but I must have been hallucinating. More likely he was chatting with a process server.

(UPDATE : Oakland 7, Boston 2. Turns out I have wildly misinterpreted the Dollar Dog Promotion. Quote of the day from KYCY’s Ken Korach, refering to Schilling’s drilling of Nick Swisher earlier this year : “You never want to see Bud Selig’s signature imprinted on any part of the body.”

Sadly, Korach then went onto explain that “Bud Selig, the Commissioner of Baseball, has his signature affixed to every official Major League baseball”, just in case anyone didn’t get the joke the first time).

Sky Vs. Saturday Football On Live TV

Posted in Football, Sports TV at 1:55 pm

As Sky continues to pursue criminal cases against UK pub landlords who opt for foreign satellite feeds of otherwise unavailable live football, the Guardian’s David Conn takes a dim view of Murdoch Inc.’s role in the betterment of the game.

Landlords of locals in Portsmouth, Rochdale and West Bromwich have successfully defended prosecutions in recent months, arguing that they were not acting dishonestly when they bought boxes and smart cards to enable them to show live Premiership games from Greek or Arabic TV stations.Paul Dixon, a solicitor from the firm Molesworths Bright Clegg, who represented four of those acquitted and has nine further cases pending, accuses the Premier League of heavyhandedness. “It is arguable that the landlords are not even breaching civil laws or contracts by paying for a broadcast from overseas, but by mounting criminal prosecutions the Premier League is bullying publicans simply to protect Sky’s monopoly over football,” he said.

The Premier League is sensitive to that charge but argues that it is duty-bound to defend the exclusive TV rights for which Sky pays so handsomely. “That money goes into football, including the grass roots,” a spokesman said. “Landlords who show matches without paying Sky are breaching copyright law and we will prosecute. In the next month we will be targeting raids against the suppliers of the equipment.”

News Corporation has become one of the world’s most powerful media empires substantially on the payments of English people who have nowhere else to go to watch live league football. BSkyB’s most recently published figures boast 8.2m subscribers, a third of British homes, paying an average £388 each a year, making Sky’s total earnings from domestic subscribers £3.2bn. Industry research has found most football fans would drop their Sky subscriptions if it lost the rights to Premier League matches.

Prosecutions of modest provincial pubs might look a touch rabid, but as watching football in the pub has become a central feature of our sporting culture, it has become a huge business for BSkyB. Its charges have steepled, ranging up to £2,210 per month, £26,520 a year, for a town-centre pub subscription.

With 47,000 commercial subscribers, mostly pubs and clubs, it is believed that BSkyB recoups its whole outlay for the Premiership TV rights solely from this market. No wonder landlords are keen to explore beaming Al-Jazeera in for a fraction of the price, or that the Premier League is fiercely enforcing the crackdown.

It is remarkable that the Office of Fair Trading here and the European Commission, twice, have bludgeoned away at the Premier League’s monopolistic TV arrangements yet failed to ensure that a single live match is available on terrestrial TV.

Cote : Fins Are Snubbing Scott

Posted in Gridiron at 1:30 pm

The Dolphins are inducting saftey Dick Anderson and tackle Richmond Webb into their Honor Roll, but the Miami Herald’s Greg Cote would like to see safety Jake Scott receive similar recognition.

It is believed that today, at age 61, Scott is living on Hanalei Bay in coastal Kauai, Hawaii, still steadfastly incommunicado. He has grown to the status of franchise legend from equal parts accomplishment and mystery. There is an odd nobility to the man with his back to the parade.

Scott is to this day the club’s career leader in interceptions with 35, one more than Anderson despite the latter playing 10 Dolphins seasons to Scott’s six. Scott had more Pro Bowl selections, five to three. Scott also was the Perfect Season Super Bowl MVP. And is Miami’s career leader in punt return yards, by the way.

Scott is being ostensibly penalized for his lack of longevity when Honor Roll inductee Paul Warfield played only five years with Miami.

Scott accomplished as much or arguably more in six years as Anderson did in 10. Moreover, his Dolphins career was cut short only because Don Shula abruptly traded him away, 30 years ago this week, in maybe the worst, most knee-jerk decision and deal Shula ever made.

Coming off yet another Pro Bowl season, Scott and a fourth-round draft pick were shipped to Washington in exchange for safety Bryan Salter, who amounted to nothing. Shula and Scott had sparred for years; the coach’s doghouse might as well have been named Jakeville. The trade came one week after Scott refused a club-ordered painkiller shot that would have allowed him to play in an exhibition game.

Scott never forgave Shula, the cause of his unending estrangement from the franchise.

The Dolphins’ company line is that Scott was among players under consideration and that his not going onto the Honor Roll is ”not based on personal relationships or whether somebody would be there [for the induction] or not,” club senior vice president for media relations Harvey Greene said Tuesday.

Decline Of Standards, Patriotism, Traced To Patrick Bateman’s Favorite Rocker

Posted in Gridiron at 1:13 pm

From the Kansas City Star’s Jeffrey Flanagan.

Longtime Chiefs fan Hayden Abbott wants you to know he’s not a prude and he’s not interested in taking the fun out of Arrowhead Stadium.

But Abbott thinks it’s time Chiefs fans end their tradition of ad-libbing “Chiefs” to “home of the brave” during the national anthem. Abbott wants to start a campaign to stop the ad-lib, and he even called the Chiefs about it, though there wouldn’t seem to be a lot the Chiefs can do to prevent 78,000 people from singing whatever they want.

“I just think it’s disrespectful to change the word to ‘Chiefs,’ ” said Abbott, 70, an Air Force veteran.

“And I love the Chiefs. I’ve had season tickets ever since the Chiefs came here, and I have a great time out there. I tailgate and have a few ‘pops’ just like everyone else. But I think that’s one tradition that we need to change.”

Abbott, who incidentally played on the great Kansas State basketball teams in the late 1950s, can’t exactly remember when the tradition of altering the anthem started.

But it is believed to have happened in 1993 when Joe Montana’s good friend, Huey Lewis (above), sang the national anthem before a Chiefs home game and belted out “home of the CHIEFS!” instead of “home of the brave.”

“We live in a great country, and we need to respect what people have done to make it great,” Abbott said. “They were brave people, and we dishonor them by changing the words. I’m sure people will think I’m just some crazy guy complaining, but I know a lot of people who feel the same way I do and just don’t want to say anything.”

Willie : On Returning, Floyd Might Not Start

Posted in Baseball at 1:08 pm

(Kaz tells former teammate David Wright that he still can’t find that Salvation Miracle Crusade commercial on YouTube)

You’re not supposed to lose your gig to an injury, but then again, Endy Chavez wasn’t supposed to be a key cog in the Mets running away with the NL East. Newsday’s David Lennon discussed the matter of the oft-hobbled Cliff Floyd prior to the Mets’ 10-5 win at Pete Coors Is A Drunken Facist Field last night.

If Floyd expected his position to be waiting for him upon his return, manager Willie Randolph suggested otherwise.

“I’m not saying he’s going to take Endy’s job,” Randolph said. “A lot depends on how Cliff looks and how he starts to play. But I’m not going to change from what I think is best for the team. When you get to the postseason, you play the best guys, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

That hard-line stance is not shocking from Randolph, who loves Chavez’s defense and the additional boost of energy he brings to the lineup. Chavez, who started in leftfield again last night, is capable of making plays that the less nimble Floyd could not even consider.

Chavez also is batting .310 with a .352 on-base percentage in 106 games, and has delivered in a number of critical situations this season. Floyd, by comparison, has been a disappointment at the plate, hitting .245 with 10 home runs and 36 RBIs in 80 games. And with a potent lineup already in place, overstocked with lefthanded hitters, the Mets don’t really need Floyd.

Randolph dismissed the abundance of lefthanders as a weakness, saying they are capable of doing damage regardless of who is on the mound. But the Mets’ team average sinks 13 points to .260 against lefthanded pitching, and Floyd (.159) and Carlos Delgado (.232) look like they can be neutralized.

“You can’t always have the perfect balance,” Randolph said. “But we can be dominant and we’re going to face a lot of righthanders.”

With a day to go before new additions are no longer post-season eligible, Fox Sports’ Ken Rosenthal reports the Mets might have one last move to make.

The Mets, seeking to upgrade their backup catcher and add infield depth, are talking to the Rockies about acquiring catcher Danny Ardoin and infielder Luis Gonzalez for a minor-league pitcher.

Ardoin, 32, was designated for assignment by the Rockies last Friday. A poor hitter but strong defender, he likely would replace Mike DiFelice. Ramon Castro, the Mets’ primary backup catcher, underwent surgery last week to repair a torn meniscus in his left knee.

Gonzalez, 27, primarily is a second baseman, but he has played all four infield positions in the past two seasons as well as left field and right. He would give the Mets protection if Jose Valentin again is slowed by his right hamstring injury. Chris Woodward is currently the Mets’ only backup infielder.

In return for Ardoin and Gonzalez, the Rockies likely would receive Class AA right-hander Matt Lindstrom, 26, or Class AA right-hander Henry Owens, 27.

While the Boston papers are packed with references to Reggie Lewis, the LA Times’ Tim Brown and Steven Springer point to David Wells being traded to the Dodgers.

Because “Clarett Crunch” Just Sounds Wrong

Posted in Food, Gridiron at 12:50 pm

From the Columbus Dispatch’s Kathy Lynn Gray.

Buckeye HerOes cereal, the newest university-licensed food, will hit store shelves in time for Saturday’s football opener against Northern Illinois at Ohio Stadium.

“We couldn’t make them ‘block Os’, so we made them Os,” said Rick Van Brimmer, director of OSU trademark and licensing services.

Three OSU football stars from last year — Bobby Carpenter, A.J. Hawk and Anthony Schlegel — are starring on the HerOes box.

The honey-nut-flavored toasted oats will cost $3.49 for a 14-ounce box at Kroger stores, where they’ll be stocked as early as Thursday, said Monica Gordon, spokeswoman for the chain’s Great Lakes division.

Shoppers already can fill their carts with OSU pasta, chips, salsa, hot dogs, mustard and hot sauces, as well as candy Buckeyes.

“People get excited when football season rolls around and look for unique items to enhance the parties they have,” Gordon said.

If the cereal sells, OSU will come out with a box featuring another former Buckeyes star, probably in early January, and boxes with other OSU ex-athletes perhaps twice a year after that, Van Brimmer said. Some cereal-box faces under consideration: Woody Hayes, Jesse Owens and Jack Nicklaus.

Enough kids are skipping breakfast, as is, without subjecting them to the visage of Woody Hayes first thing in the morning.

Astros Pay Up For Roy O.

Posted in Baseball at 12:08 am

I’m trying to recall the last time a player went from almost being traded at the deadline to signing an extension within a month. Barry Larkin is the only name that comes to mind, and presumably, this will have a more favorable result for the club in question. From the Houston Chronicle’s Jose De Jesus Ortiz.


Informed that the Astros had just given him a five-year, $73 million contract Tuesday night, ace righthander Roy Oswalt (above) immediately placed a call to Weir, Miss., to give his father Billy the news. In the ensuing news conference, Oswalt fought off tears as he acknowledged his father’s guidance.

Oswalt’s contract is easily the richest multi-year deal ever given to a pitcher by an Astros franchise that has had legendary aces such as Nolan Ryan, Roger Clemens and J.R. Richard, to name just a few.

Oswalt, who could have tested free agency after the 2007 season, will earn $13 million in each of the first two years of the contract. His salary moves up to $14 million in 2009, $15 million in 2010 and $16 million in 2011. He has a complete no-trade clause and a $2 million buyout of a $16 million club option for 2012.

Craig Biggio, Jason Lane and Luke Scott all homered in Houston’s 10-3 beatdown of Milwaukee. Astros CF Willy Tavares saw his 30 game hitting streak come to a close, but not before suffering a beaning at the hands of Tomo Ohka.

Without the services of manager Joe Girardi, the Marlins won their 9th consecutive Tuesday night, putting the hurt on the, uh, still-hurting Mark Mulder to the tune of a 9-1 scoreline. Dan Uggla hit his 21st HR of the year, and ended with 3 hits and 4 RBI’s on the night. Florida are 1 1/2 games out of the NL Wild Card, pending the finish of the Reds/Dodgers game at Chavez Ravine.

08.29.06

Hanging Out At Zach’s Place

Posted in Basketball, Blogged Down, Dogs at 8:24 pm

Though I kinda thought the Andy Dick episode was the nail in the coffin of MTV’s “Cribs”, True Hoop’s Henry Abbott caught a re-run of the Zach Randolph segment, and it sounds like it could’ve been the greatest reality TV moment since Michael Barrymore invited Dennis Rodman for a late night swim.

I had just a little moment of nervousness when Zach let his three pit bulls out of the fence and they just started running around free. They heeded his commands pretty well, though, and two out of three laid down when Randolph said something to them that sounded to me like German. Maybe the other one doesn’t speak German.

The dogs also factor into what is easily the creepiest moment of the whole Randolph episode: the mother of his daughter is there, totally pregnant, and never gets introduced. Not one word out of her. That could have been the fault of some MTV producers, not Randolph. But he cements her place in the household hierarchy somewhat by standing in the driveway with her and his dogs and saying he has “five babies.” The mother of his children comes in fourth by Randolph’s count. The dogs were one, two, and three, and the unborn daughter brings up the rear.

Hefty Lefty Heading To The NL?

Posted in Baseball at 8:01 pm

Not only did the Red Sox front office wildly miscalculate whether or they had enough pitching to get through August, they’re now adding insult to injury by making plans to send The Sultan Of Swat to the Senior Circuit just as I arrive in Oakland. I guess this means our Harley ride to Sausalito later tonight is cancelled, eh, David? From the Boston Globe’s Nick Cafardo.

The Red Sox are talking to the Padres, Dodgers and Cardinals about a potential deal that would send lefthanded pitcher David Wells to them in exchange for a player that can help the Red Sox next season, according to a league source.

Wells prefers to pitch on the West Coast, but is OK with being dealt if it is to a contending team.

In order for Wells to be eligible for a playoff roster he must be dealt by midnight on Thursday.

SF’s Jason Schmidt is getting shelled thus far at Turner Field ; Andruw Jones just connected for a solo HR off the foul pole moments after Chipper cracked a 3-run shot. The Braves are leading 8-2, and there’s a guy sitting uncomfortably close to Jon Miller’s microphone who keeps yelling, “try throwing it underhand, Jason!” (I’m pretty sure it isn’t Mike Krukow).

(UPDATE : 9-4, Atlanta. Barry Bonds has just hit his 2nd HR of the evening, and for those still paying attention, he’s just 28 away from Hank Aaron. Assuming the Sultan Of Surly is neither a) incarcerated or b) in a wheelchair in 2007, it isn’t inconceivable he’ll break the record).

Open Bar, Eh?

Posted in Blogged Down, Will Leitch Sucks at 7:20 pm

I have to admit, I’m very impressed the Taco Bell Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme spokesmodel would put his petty jealousies aside when issuing the above invites. On the other hand, if you were about to marry this, you’d no longer be so picky about who you were hanging out with, either.

Though it’s a nice thought, I have a prior engagement at Brian Bannister Bobblehead Night on Coney Island. And I’d sooner leave Von LMO in charge of my house than willingly spend time at Blondie’s of the Upper East Side. Was the Ground Round all booked up?

Still, just cuz I’m busy doesn’t mean the rest of you lot can’t crash the shindig. Tell Ariana Huffington I said hi!

Grant On The Rangers’ Latest Swoon

Posted in Baseball, Leave No Child Unbeaten at 2:39 pm

Looks like it’ll be another September of meaningless baseball in the Metroplex, and the Dallas Morning News’ Evan Grant has seen it all before.

Less than 24 hours after falling nine games behind Oakland in the AL West, the clubhouse was as quiet as a mausoleum and just about as lively. Those few players who made appearances at their lockers would have preferred to talk fantasy football, their love lives or even Middle Eastern politics rather than broach one tiny little question about the club.

That question: How did this team get into the position in which it now finds itself?

That position: Forgotten, if not officially gone, in the AL West race. Even with a win Sunday night, the Rangers trailed Oakland by eight games with 30 to play. A comeback would be truly historic. This team, however, hasn’t shown enough consistency to suggest anything of historic proportions is possible.

“We just haven’t played well,” shortstop Michael Young said. “It’s not going to do me any good to look back at the last few months. All I know is we’re definitely capable of more.”

So why haven’t the Rangers accomplished more? Why do they seem headed for a seventh consecutive third- or fourth-place finish in a four-team division?


Grant points to the a leadership void in the clubhouse (blaming, in part, the trade of David Dellucci, above), lack of bullpen experience or defined roles in the wake of the Francisco Cordero trade, and poor 2nd halves from Kevin Millwood, Adam Eaton, Vicente Padilla and Kip Wells.

Strangely, the name “Buck Showalter” doesn’t appear once in this piece.

Rehabbing Mets LF Cliff Floyd was 0-3 earlier today in St. Lucie’s 5-1 loss to Palm Beach.

Newsweek reports the NFL has finally taken Gary Glitter’s “Rock And Roll, Pt. II” off the playlists of stadium tannoy operators (link courtesy Stereogum). This could be the big break the Billy Preston estate has been waiting for.

The Motherfucker Of All Flame Wars…

Posted in Blogged Down, Will Leitch Sucks at 2:08 pm

…is not, sadly,between myself and a pseudononymous Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme acolyte, aka “jblo” who contributed the following to Deadspin’s (registration-required) comments section :

I’m sorry, but that’s just plain unfair.

I hate Will far more than Mel Gibson hates Jews. And unlike Mel, I can be completely sober when stating publicly that ethically challenged, xenophobic, frat-fuck pandering “nice guys” like Will are responsible for all of the wars in the world.

Instead, the real virtual brawl to settle it all is taking place right this moment between Michael Kay and Larry Bowa. Sort of.

Mangini Dubs Pennington The Best Of A Bad Lot

Posted in Gridiron at 1:22 pm

From the Sports Network :

Chad Pennington will line up under center for the New York Jets in the season opener on September 10 against Tennessee, winning a four-man quarterback competition during the preseason.

Head coach Eric Mangini made the announcement on Tuesday, three days before New York will wrap up the preseason against Philadelphia. Pennington will not play in the exhibition finale.

“His presence, his ability to move the team, his leadership – all those things I’ve been looking for – he’s done an outstanding job with and its clear to me that he should be the starter,” said Mangini.

Yes, all that, plus the alternatives were Patrick Ramsey and Brooks Bollinger.

Here’s a nice quote from Dr. Gary Wadler, the US Attorney’s inhouse steroid advisor, concerning current Rams (and former Bucs/Panthers) tackle Todd Stuessie.

According to the Charlotte Observer, Steussie had three prescriptions for testosterone cream from between March 1, 2003, and March 16, 2004, with each prescription renewable five times.

“This wasn’t just a passing flirtation with these prohibited substances,” Dr. Gary Wadler told the Observer. “When I see (prescriptions) renewed five times, I say, ‘What are you trying to accomplish?’ “

Trying to look good for the ladies?

Watching The Defective : Post’s Costello Goes Inside A-Rod’s Head

Posted in Baseball at 1:00 pm

This might be the lamest New York Post piece of all time that didn’t bear Steve Dunleavy’s byline.  From Brian Costello :

Like most Yankee fans, the psychologists believe A-Rod’s problems are 100 percent mental.

“It seems like it is in his head,” said Jonathan F. Katz (above), director of sports psychology for Altheus, an advanced performance center in Rye. “For an athlete, that means they’re starting to think about it. What athletes do best is react and play. The more they can trust their instincts and not think about it, the more likely they’re going to succeed.”

Anyone who watched Rodriguez go 2-for-20 with 14 strikeouts on the Yankees’ West Coast swing last week saw a player desperately trying to shake himself from a funk.

“The guy’s obviously pressing too hard,” said Robert Reiner, a clinical psychologist and the executive director of Behavioral Associates in Manhattan. “He’s human, remember that. A lot of guys before him in New York have gone through this. Ed Whitson is the poster boy for this stuff. Then you have [Chuck] Knoblauch and Mackey Sasser.”

Both of the psychologists agreed there is one thing Yankee fans can do to help Rodriguez: stop booing.

“Anybody who is a Yankee fan who is booing this guy has their head up their [backside],” said Reiner, a Yankee fan himself. “If you think you’re helping him by booing him, you’re wrong.”

Whoa, Nellie : Montgomery Bounced In Oakland

Posted in Basketball at 12:25 pm

From the SF Chronicle’s Janny Hu :

In a bold and surprising attempt to end 12 years of playoff futility, the Warriors severed ties with Mike Montgomery this week and will replace him with former coach Don Nelson (above), the Chronicle has learned. The team announced Tuesday morning that it had parted ways with Montgomery, the former Stanford coach who compiled a 68-96 record in two seasons with Golden State. The team will introduce Nelson as its new coach at a public event Wednesday night at the Arena.

Several members of the coaching staff admitted unease this summer as they awaited a possible shakeup. Two league sources also said that Mullin recommended Montgomery be fired after the regular season but was overruled by ownership.

It’s unclear what prompted the reversal of opinion. According to one of the sources, the Warriors waited until Montgomery returned from vacation to negotiate a buyout. He was in Las Vegas last week working in Michael Jordan’s annual basketball camp.

That the Warriors are switching coaches perhaps isn’t as surprising as the identity of their incoming coach. Nelson was sued by Warriors owner Chris Cohan when he resurfaced with the Knicks for the 1995-96 season. While Nelson’s stop in New York lasted less than a year, his litigation with Cohan dragged on until 1999.

Surely I’m not the only person who’d love to see C-Webb as a mid-season addition to Nellie’s coaching staff? Seriously, if Nelson can return to the Bay Area, who’s to say Spree can’t be lured out of retirement, too?

Ortiz Facing Further Heart Tests

Posted in Baseball at 7:00 am

From the Boston Globe’s Gordon Edes.

A season slipping away took another crushing turn last night, even before a ragtag team of Red Sox was beaten, 9-0, by the Oakland Athletics.

About 20 minutes before the first pitch, David Ortiz was scratched from a starting lineup that once again was missing Manny Ramírez. “He isn’t feeling well,” said PR man Peter Chase, who had been briefed on Ortiz’s condition in the dugout by Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein.

But it wasn’t until after the game that manager Terry Francona revealed that Ortiz had experienced another episode involving an apparent irregular heartbeat, the one that had sent him to the hospital overnight during the recent Yankees series.
The team isn’t taking any chances, Francona said. Ortiz is flying back to Boston today to be examined by doctors.

This is the first instance of Ortiz missing playing time since these heartbeat episodes began over a week ago. If you’re thinking Carlos Pena’s gonna make the most of his latest big break, well, I admire your optimism. Jon Lester went on the DL with back trouble yesterday — but if anyone would like to remind us (again) how none of Boston’s injuries woes can possibly compare to losing Matsui and Sheffield’s Little Mustache, please, go right ahead. I reckon that had Varitek not gone down, the Yankees’ 7 game lead would be closer to 2 or 3 at this stage.

In any event, losing 17 of their last 21 and showing little fight, undermanned or not, all pennant race considerations rank a distant second compared to Papi’s condition. Particularly as there’s not likely to be much of a race remaining.

This Is A Public Service Announcement

Posted in Rock Und Roll at 12:40 am

08.28.06

Even Victor Zambrano Is Disappointed In Carl Pavano

Posted in Baseball, General at 11:44 pm

I guess the old “I strained something defending myself from verbal abuse” excuse only worked for so long. From the New York Times’ Tyler Kepner.

Just as he was closing in on returning to the Yankees after a 14-month absence, Carl Pavano (above) told club officials last weekend that he had been in a car accident in West Palm Beach, Fla., on the morning of Aug. 15. Pavano said the accident caused pain in his ribs, and tests yesterday showed that two ribs are fractured.

“Of course I’m angry,” said General Manager Brian Cashman, who did not rule out fining Pavano.

“I’m trying to get a clearer picture of what we’re dealing with,” Cashman said, referring to Pavano’s version of the accident. “It’s kind of premature.”

The Yankees owe Pavano roughly $20 million over the next two seasons, a hefty price for a pitcher whose desire has been questioned by teammates. By failing to report the injury when it happened, Pavano could be in violation of the terms of his contract and may give the Yankees an opening to void some or all of the deal.

Note to all accident-prone / ethically challenged pitchers considering signing with the Yankees in the future ; insist on removing any clause that require you to a) report such incidents, b) tell the truth and c ) pitch in the major leagues.

World’s Oldest Person Shuffles Off This Mortal Coil

Posted in Fitness, Medical Science at 9:24 pm

From the Associated Press :

Maria Esther de Capovilla, a 116-year-old woman believed to have been the world’s oldest person, has died in her native Ecuador, her granddaughter said Monday. Her successor is likely a woman from Tennessee.

Capovilla died early Sunday in a hospital in the coastal city of Guayaquil, said Catherine Capovilla, a property manager and real estate agent in Miami. A funeral was planned for Monday.

Capovilla died two days after coming down with pneumonia.

In an unrelated story, the World’s 2nd Oldest Person, Julio Franco of the Dominican Republic’s Hato Mayor, was 0 for 1 in a pinch-hitting appearance in the New York Mets’ 8-3 defeat of Philadelphia earlier today.

McNabb’s New Target : Eagles Trade For Stallworth

Posted in Gridiron at 9:16 pm

From the Cherry Hill Courier-Post’s Don Devento :

The Eagles have acquired wide receiver Donte’ Stallworth (above) from New Orleans in a trade that sent linebacker Mark Simoneau and an undisclosed draft pick to the Saints.Stallworth’s presence should immediately bolster a receiver corps that has been considered suspect by a number of analysts.

While it’s bound to take some time for Stallworth to fit into the Eagles’ West Coast offense, he would seem to immediately become the team’s No. 1 or 2 receiver, depending on the progress of Reggie Brown.

700 Level surmises “this could mean the end of Todd Pinkston in Eagles Green,” and would that be such a bad thing?

Carson Palmer’s first game since being taken out by Kimo von Oelhoffen last January would have to be considered a wild success ; 3 first half TD’s against an overmatched Packers secondary (9 for 14, 140 yards, no INTS), as the Bengals lead Green Bay, 34-7 midway through the 3rd quarter of a semi-meaningful, meaningless contest.

Man City’s Stonewall Sanctioned Diversity Scheme

Posted in Football at 8:15 pm

(giddy City fans celebrate the decision to replace Stuart Pearce with Lily Savage)

Manchester City recently signed up to take part in Stonewall’s Diversity Champions program ; the former Maine Road residents have pledged to recruit gay staff and eliminate homophobic language in the workplace. The Mirror’s headline read “MAN ON MAN CITY”, by the way. Given that the office in question is the football pitch, I wish them luck, as does the Guardian’s Sam Delaney.

It used to be simple to work out who was who at the football. If you drank beer, beat people up and urinated down your mate’s leg on the terraces at half time, you were one of the lads. If you wore expensive designer woollens, drank wine and ate olives, you were gay and had got lost on the way to a West End show. These days, since football got gentrified and everyone turned a bit middle class, the lines have blurred. At Chelsea on a Saturday, they can’t move for actors, writers and choreographers, who cram into Stamford Bridge cheek by jowl to watch the Premiership champions. Before the game, they meet up at SW3’s gastropubs and bistros to share bruschetta and petit chablis. Some of them might be gay; the majority aren’t. But they engage in a lifestyle that old-fashioned football fans would have associated with being homosexual.

The majority of football fans these days consider themselves tolerant, liberal-minded blokes. But they sing the odd illiberal chant in the spirit of intimidating opposition players and maximising their side’s chances of winning. Almost no topic is taboo in pursuit of this aim, and there’s a certain amount of mischief involved. Throwing gay taunts from the stands at a self-important, straight player like Sol Campbell may have more impact on his game than it would on a genuinely gay man. Where’s the fun in saying to someone, “You’re gay!” if they can turn round and respond, “You’re quite right! I am! As gay as a baby goose! Rock on!”

Still, the message from Man City and Stonewall is that, however ironic you think you’re being, chanting homophobic songs doesn’t tally with being a self-proclaimed liberal. Football is an integral part of our national culture: if it is permeated by casual homophobia, what does that say about our society?

Nwankwo Kanu : He’s tall, black, he’s had a heart attack. And now you can add to the list, he’s scored 4 goals in his four games of the season, 3 of ‘em coming in Portsmouth’s thoroughly dominant, 4-0 win at Middlesbrough on Monday.

It’s Been A Great Monday For Dumb QB’s Finding New Gigs

Posted in Gridiron at 6:40 pm

Let the roll call commence,


1) The zillion-dollar arm/ten cent skull combo platter that is Jeff George has signed a contract with Oakland.

2) Hard-drinking, N-word dropping Kerry Collins has agreed to become Vince Young’s valet in Nashville. Or his mentor. I’m not sure which.

3) No-show job specialist / one-man season killer Rhett Bomar, formerly of Oklahoma, has enrolled at Division I-AA Sam Houston State.

In other news, Mack Brown has named Colt McCoy the new starting QB at Texas. Not since Richard Grieco supplanted Johnny Depp on “21 Jump Street” has anyone had such big shoes to fill. (I was gonna go for the Gary Cherone/Sammy Hagar tandem, but then this entry would’ve taken on more of a Klosterman tone than the industry-standard sub-Simmons crap that keeps the advertisers happy).

Karr DNA Doesn’t Match

Posted in The Law, The World Of Entertainment at 3:45 pm

A Denver TV station is reporting that a DNA sample taken from John Mark Karr doesn’t match the DNA found in the underwear of the late JonBenet Ramsey.

Not only does this mean that JonBenet’s killer is still at large, but also has to be considered a massive blow to the career prospects of Will Arnett (above), who had to be first in line to play Karr in the inevitable made for television exploi-drama.

Reardon : Not Guilty By Reason Of Similiarty To “Take The Money And Run”

Posted in Baseball, Blogged Down, The Law at 3:38 pm

From the South Florida Sentinel’s Nancy Othon.

A Palm Beach County circuit judge found former Major League Baseball pitcher Jeff Reardon not guilty by reason of insanity on Monday of robbing a jewelry store.

Reardon, who played in two World Series, was taking a dozen medications that impaired his judgment. Attorneys said Reardon was distraught over the 2004 death of a son and had been taking anti-depressants and mood stabilizers.

Defense attorney Mitch Beers, who used a voluntary intoxication defense, said the robbery episode, with Reardon’s “thank you” and “please” on the note, was like something out of a Woody Allen movie.

After Judge Stephen Rapp’s ruling was announced on Monday, Reardon said he was pleased and relieved. He had been worried about going to jail, he said.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a speeding ticket before for crying out loud,” Reardon said.

Guilty of something else entirely (ie. having very little to say) is Mets closer Billy Wagner, whose blogging debut turns out to be even worse than that of David Wright (link courtesy The Big Lead).

Dr. Marchman’s Prognosis For The Yanks

Posted in Baseball at 3:28 pm

Surmising that the AL East is all but done and dusted, the New York Sun’s Tim Marchman examines the bigger question marks for the New York Yankees as they, uh, play out the string?

First, who’s who in the bullpen? The closer is decent enough, but past that things are, in October terms at least, a bit of a puzzle. As outstanding as Scott Proctor has been all year — and he’s showing no signs of slowing down, with a 1.83 ERA this month — I doubt he strikes anyone as the menacing (and reliable) presence one would ideally want on the mound in the 8th inning of a playoff game with Paul Konerko, Jim Thome, and Jermaine Dye coming up.

And Ron Villone, so unexpectedly effective all season, is showing every sign of becoming the latest casualty of Torre’s complete inability to resist overusing his better relievers, as he’s given up runs in a third of his appearances this month and seems to have lost a bit of whatever zip there was on his pitches.Resting these two while still keeping them sharp will probably be the most important thing for the teams’ playoff hopes over the next month.

This leaves the mystery man, Kyle Farnsworth. Farnsworth has been exactly what anyone who followed his career before this year would have told you he’d be: alternating between brilliant and clueless, a perfect example of why being able to pop 99 mph fastballs at will isn’t the goal of pitching. The key is to get him in one of his mysterious grooves where he stops thinking (make your own joke) and thus stops giving up runs. If the Yanks can coax him into a perfectly blank state he can absolutely be that Jeff Nelson-type shutdown presence in the 8th inning. I wouldn’t bet on it.

Second is of course the mystery of Alex Rodriguez (above). As far as I’m concerned, the main mystery should be whether or not the people who are convinced he’s singlehandedly responsible for crippling the American economy along with his team, actually watch Yankees games. His batting line this month is .280 BA/.381 OBA/.494 SLG, enviable numbers in line with Derek Jeter’s career averages, but then again striking out 10 times in three games does raise questions.

Assuming that we can find the root cause of his woes somewhere between his mysterious injuries and the pressure of being labeled a failure whenever he doesn’t hit four home runs in a game, it would probably be for the best to continue the unexpected but entertaining Nick Green experience as much as possible in hopes that a rejuvenated and refreshed Rodriguez can come out strong a month from now.

As things go, however, were Rodriguez actually to sit out a substantial number of games he’d probably be labeled a fraud, and so we’ll continue to see a fried A-Rod swinging through pitches he shouldn’t even be offering at. A hearty hand to all those who have kicked the man while he’s down.

Not everyone has it in for A-Rod, however, as the whifftastic third baseman had the support this weekend of John Wooden and Reggie Jackson. The former advised him never to record a spoken word album for New Alliance, while the latter merely brandished a pistol and mumbled something about The Queen before being wrestled to ground by Leslie Neilsen.

Bob Raissman’s Narrow World Of Sports

Posted in Sports TV, Tennis at 1:54 pm

Saying of the US Open’s plans to institute instant replay on disputed calls, “the only thing missing is Warner Wolf shouting, ‘Let’s go to the videotape,’”, the New York Daily News’ Bob Raissman takes the opportunity to let us know just how much he thinks tennis sucks. In case you were wondering.

In the spirit of full disclosure, it is necessary to report that I have little use for tennis. The nose-in-the air atomosphere – and attitude – permeating the sport turned me off years ago. The same holds true for golf. Still, I cannot tell you that the foofs running the PGA are thinking of adding any kind of instant replay – or a Tiger Cam for that matter – to their sport.

With that in mind, perhaps instant replay in tennis should be applauded. Anything that could further drag down tennis’ test-pattern-like TV ratings is fine with me. One of the most compelling parts of a U.S. Open match – or any other tournament – is when one of these spoiled players – on the men’s or women’s side – wigs out over a line judge’s call. Seeing a player freak is such a beautiful thing. The more players who go ballistic on some flunky judge the more fringe fans feel compelled not to change the channel.

Would John McEnroe have ever become such a marquee personality if instant replay was in tennis when he was defining obnoxious? Think about all the endorsement booty this blowhard would have missed out on if he ever had the ability to use a replay challenge?

Indeed, without his colorful outbursts, Jeff Tarango’s endorsement income might’ve dropped from the low 3 figures to zero.

So far, the most enjoyable portion of Universal HD’s coverage of the Open’s first day has been Al Trautwig assuring us the Knicks are ready to contend for a playoff spot.

OK, that’s not fair. I’ve had the sound off.

Massarotti Drops The Q-Bomb On The Red Sox

Posted in Baseball at 1:20 pm

As the Red Sox prepare for three games with the not-too-shabby-in-August-Athletics, the Boston Herald’s Tony Massarotti makes the not-quite astonishing claim, they “look like they’re starting to quit.”

“He said he couldn’t play. What the (expletive) do you want me to do?” Red Sox manager Terry Francona snapped yesterday morning when asked about Manny Ramirez’ absence from the lineup prior to his lifeless team’s 6-3 loss to the Seattle Mariners.

“If a guy says he can’t play, he can’t (expletive) play. Go ask him. He said he can’t (expletive) play.”

And he wasn’t alone.

So now, with precisely five weeks and a mere 32 games remaining in their season, here is the question we must ask: Do the Red Sox really want to play anymore? Do they want to win?

Red Sox ownership and management have been the target of much displeasure in recent weeks, but it is now time for Red Sox players to take their turn. What happened in Seattle was a joke. From 2003-05, part of the Red Sox’ charm was they continued to play, no matter what, and they found ways to win (last year, especially), despite numerous opportunities to fail.

Suddenly, with this club, the bodies are dropping like flies. And while it is impossible to discern the severity of many injuries, we all know it is easier to play hurt when a team is winning. When a club starts losing – and losing badly – that is when we really get to examine the stuff they are made of. Based on the weekend, you should not be impressed.

In the immortal words of Jim Mora: Playoffs? At this rate, the Sox will be lucky to finish with 85 wins.

(Dustin Pedroia, deeply hurt by the insinuation that he’s not ready for prime time)

Seth Mnookin claims Tito’s lineup on Sunday “would have been more appropriate for a spring training game than a late-August match,” but I don’t think he gives nearly enough credit to the immortal Cha Seung Baek — sharp as he might’ve been at Tacoma, there’s something kind of amazing about seeing the Red Sox — with or without Manny — shut down by a guy with all of 40 big league innings under his belt.

If Playing Every Day Is Wrong, I Don’t Wanna Be David Wright

Posted in Baseball at 12:46 pm

Citing factors as diverse as the Home Run Derby, the Sports Illustrated cover jinx (certainly it managed to fuck with Captain Red Ass), Mets Geek’s Eric Simon suggests that in the season’s 2nd half, “David Wright forgot how to hit.”

What he really needs from Willie Randolph are some days off. He’s only 23, but he played in 160 games last year and has played in 126 of the Mets’ 128 games this season, and he also played in the All Star Game (as well as participated in the aforementioned homerun contest). Factor in all of the preparation time he spends in the cage, on the field and in the weight room, and all of these things add up to a tired ballplayer. I’d really like to see Wright get a couple of games off here and there to give the kid some rest. Given the Mets’ division lead as well as the firepower up and down their lineup, there’s really no reason why Chris Woodward isn’t getting more starts at third.

The Mets need to get Wright back on track before the postseason. They haven’t clinched anything yet, but Baseball Prospectus says they are 99.9920% likely to win the division and 99.99985% to make the playoffs, so they have the luxury — like a football team who clinches early — to rest some of their starters in anticipation of the playoffs. With the lead that they have, there is no excuse not to have everyone rested and ready to rock when October dawns.

I might also propose that in addition to the grind of playing every day, personal appearances, endorsements, etc. can really take a lot out of a guy, even a youngster like Wright.

In the bottom of the 3rd today against the Phillies, Wright was credited with one of those everyday, ground-rule, RBI singles off the 3rd base bag. I could try to explain the play to you, but my brain my explode. Carlos Beltran, as Gary Cohen pointed out, crossed home plate some 7 minutes after Wright hit the ball, and Charlie Manuel has been ejected for the 2nd time in the series. The Mets batted around in the 3rd against Jamie Moyer and lead Philadelphia, 6-0.

Genius Loves Company

Posted in Baseball at 11:57 am

From Fox Sports’ Ken Rosenthal :

Cardinals manager Tony La Russa isn’t sure which actor he would choose to play his role in Three Nights in August, the Buzz Bissinger book that is being made into a movie.

La Russa’s three favorite actors — Morgan Freeman, Denzel Washington and Jamie Foxx (above) — all are African-American.

Seems to me that if Jamie Foxx can put the likes of Colin Farrell and Jake Gyllenhaal on his back, he’s more than capable of pulling off a white baseball manager. And given La Russa’s inability to detect any ‘roid useage on the part of Mark McGwire while supervising him on two different teams, Foxx is really the perfect choice. Who would know more about playing a blind man?

Tough Times For The Lady Cottagers

Posted in Football at 1:18 am

The wild scoreline from this weekend’s soccer slate certainly wasn’t Chelsea’s snoozy 2-0 win at Blackburn, Villareal’s 0-0 La Liga opener at Real Madrid, nor was it Red Bull NY’s improbable 6-0 humiliation of Dave Checketts’ Real Salt Lake. Instead, I’ll submit the following result, as reported on by the Guardian’s Tony Leighton.

The rise and fall of Fulham, who capped three years as full-time professionals by winning the treble of Women’s Premier League, FA Cup and League Cup in 2003, plumbed new depths in a humiliating 14-0 defeat by the champions Arsenal yesterday.


(Fulham’s 2002-03 squad)

Since being cast adrift by their parent club in May, Fulham have become an amateur outfit struggling desperately for players as well as finance. A mass exodus took place during the close season, with Chelsea, Bristol Academy and Charlton Athletic the main beneficiaries.

With fund-raising proving extremely difficult, the club secretary Fred Brockwell admitted: “After the summer we’ve had we’re looking to survive at best this season. When we decided to carry on rather than fold the team after what happened with Fulham, we set ourselves a budget target of £30,000. But that came down drastically when we couldn’t get any sponsorship, and we are having to rely on the efforts of the players and supporters to raise cash.”

After a 5-0 opening-day defeat by Chelsea and yesterday’s pummelling at Arsenal, for whom Lianne Sanderson scored five times, Fulham are facing a harsh season

H.S. Football Hazing Update : Fairhaven’s Cup Runneth Over

Posted in Gridiron, Hot Fads, Leave No Child Unbeaten, The Law at 12:39 am

While watching a snippet of MTV’s “Two A Days” this weekend, I couldn’t help but reflect, old codger-style, that once upon a time, the Viacom property was the sole televised refuge for the sort of kids that were most likely to get beat up by football players. But if MTV can showcase exploits similar to those described by David Brown in Thursday’s South Coast Today, I might have to start watching again.

(totally SFW video)
A Fairhaven (MA) High School football player was allegedly duct-taped to a bed, physically assaulted and subjected to acts of a “gross and lewd” nature by several teammates during a summer football camp, sources familiar with a hazing investigation said yesterday.

The investigation includes allegations that players tossed semen from a cup onto the victim during the alleged assault in the dormitory-style barracks at Camp Edwards in Bourne, sources close to the investigation said. The same sources said the victim was younger than his alleged assailants.

At a press conference yesterday, school officials said they are finished with the information-gathering phase of their investigation but had not determined whether any students had violated Fairhaven’s Athletic Code of Ethics.

I don’t know what’s more shocking, that this case didn’t originate on Long Island, or that pouring a cup of jizz over someone violates a code of ethics.

08.27.06

Just Pray They Don’t Lose The Remote

Posted in Gridiron at 7:49 pm

With apologies to Daniel Miller’s “TVOD”, shown above is the new big ass, HD video screen at Texas’ Darryl Royal-Memorial Stadium (pic swiped from Longhornmafia.com)

How big is the TV that Vince Young built? So big, that I’ll be able to see crowd shots of visiting Ohio State fans getting their shoes puked on without leaving my front porch.

Aspiring Eli Manning understudy and former Kentucy QB Jared Lorenzen (above) is the subject of not one, but two profiles in Sunday’s NY papers.  The Post manages to work the phrase “fat chance” into their headline, while the Gray Lady opts for the more subtle claim that the 285 poind Lorenzen’s impressive preseason performances have “tipped the scales” in his favor.

Phillies Get Conine

Posted in Baseball at 7:04 pm

A game off the Reds’ Wild Card lead, Philadelphia flips the switch from seller to buyer.  From MLB.com :

Outfielder Jeff Conine was acquired from Baltimore, along with cash considerations, for a player to be named later, Vice President & General Manager Pat Gillick announced today.

The Phillies will make a move to accommodate Conine on the 25-man roster once he reports. He will wear #19 and bench coach Gary Varsho will now wear #30.

Jewish Heritage Day at Shea Stadium was a washout — they’ll try again tomorrow at 12:35pm.  I asked my dad when they were gonna celebrate Anglo-Saxons Who Drink Too Much Day at the ballpark, and he said they do that all the time.

San Francisco moved within two games of the NL Wild Card with today’s 8-0 pasting of the Reds ; Cincy’s lead over the Padres remains a mere half game after San Diego dropped a 6-3 decision to the Rockies, the decisive blow being a two run HR by Matt Holliday (above) off Jake Peavy in the 5th. It’s nice to be able to use the words “decisive blow” in relation to the Rockies without bringing up Denny Neagle, but that just goes to show the good you accomplish when Maxim is banned from the clubhouse.

“Theo Fleury Forum” Might’ve Had A Nice Ring To It

Posted in Hockey at 4:29 pm

Earlier this summer, the Edmonton suburb of St. Albert announced plans to peddle the naming rights to Mark Messier Arena and Troy Murray Arena.  Earlier this week, St. Albert Mayor Paul Chalifoux (above) pulled the plug on said scheme after a firestorm of criticism. Trouble is, the jokes haven’t stopped, with a few more courtesy of the Edmonton Journal’s John MacKinnon.

In keeping with the quirky and charming provincial custom of displaying the world’s biggest honeybee or oil lamp, the City of St. Albert unveiled the World’s Biggest Grovel on Thursday.

It was a shapeless, colorless, charmless thing aimed with profound sincerity and great dollops of well-earned shame and embarrassment at Mark Messier and Troy Murray, two sons of St. Albert who put the bedroom community on the map with their NHL exploits, then moved on with their exceptional lives.

How could Messier and Murray have known their hometown would take dead, unstoppable aim at the title of World’s Tackiest City by asking the hockey stars, of all people, to dip into their wallets to pay to keep their names on a pair of community arenas the city had named after their heroes out of pure, unadulterated civic pride, back in 1992.

But that’s what happened in July. Which prompted a barrage of international scorn and derision, as anyone might imagine. Well, anyone, except the St. Albert city fathers, who were genuinely taken aback that Sports Illustrated, to name one high-profile publication, mocked the city for its stunning lack of grace.

It’s one thing to erect the World’s Biggest Pyrogy on a Fork, like the good folks of Glendon did, or to brag about having the World’s Biggest Star Trek Enterprise replica, as they do down there in Vulcan, or to swell with pride about having the World’s Biggest Pysanka, like they do in Vegreville.

But can you imagine the good people of Floral, Sask., sending word to the Big Guy, Ol’ Gordie Howe himself, that he’d have to come up with some serious scratch or that’s what would happen to his name on the hometown arena?

Klimer’s Prescription For Pacman’s Napoleonic Complex : Make Him Play

Posted in Gridiron, The Law at 4:06 pm

While Pacman Jones has received the public support of Titans owner Bud Adams after the defensive back’s latest infraction, the patience of the Tennesean’s David Climer is wearing thin.

Like it or not — and I suspect most of you don’t — Jones is the face of this franchise. It says a lot for the current state of the Titans.

So here he was, spending Saturday evening on the sideline, decked out in a blue Titans T-shirt, alternately watching the game and chatting with teammates while occasionally looking into the crowd.

At game’s ugly end, he made the rounds on the field, chatted up Falcons quarterback Michael Vick and eventually made it over to the northwest side of the field, where a man handed a child from the stands to Jones.

Later, he said the child is “my baby girl.” He took her into the locker room for a few minutes, exited with Coach Jeff Fisher and was brief in his comments about the events of early Friday morning that led to his arrest at a Murfreesboro nightspot.

“It ain’t right. That’s all I’ve got to say,” he said.

Asked if he would have preferred to play rather than watch, Jones said: “Of course.”

I couldn’t agree more. It seems to me that the proper punishment for Pacman’s latest wrong place/wrong time misadventure was to make him play every snap of this lousy preseason game, not to let him lounge on the sideline.

I read something the other day where a local psychologist and psychotherapist concluded that because of his stature (5-foot-10 and 185 pounds, according to Titans’ publications), Jones has a Napoleonic Complex.
This, the experts surmised, contributes to his problems — anger management issues, conflict with authority, etc.

What a bunch of psychobabble.

At last check, there were seven other players listed on the current Titans roster who are no taller than Jones. Does that mean we should expect a re-enactment of the Battle of Waterloo at practice this week?

Kellerman Flunks Audition At Station No One Listens To

Posted in Sports Radio at 3:51 pm

What do Max Kellerman and David Weave Roth have in common?  Other than the mutual admiration society all great artists belong to, that is?  They both had extremely short tenure’s at New York’s Free 92.3. From the New York Daily News’ Bob Raissman.

Last week, Kellerman (above) was scheduled to do a two-day (Monday/Tuesday) Free FM (92.3) trial with Sid (Sidiot) Rosenberg. And on Monday, Kellerman got into the always touchy subject of race.

Kellerman did not pull any punches. A CBS Radio mole said the consensus was Kellerman went too far. So, before he was scheduled to return for the Tuesday show, Kellerman was told his audition was over.

This left Rosenberg, who remarkably kept his mouth shut while Kellerman went into his race rap, to work with another partner. Sidiot sounded good and, although no one is talking, I’ve got to believe he could be headed for a steady gig at Free FM.

If that happens, the FANdroids (Free FM and WFAN are owned by CBS) should look to also reunite him with Joe Benigno in midday. As stated in this space before, outside of Mike Francesa/Chris (Mad Dog) Russo the sound of FAN has become rather bland. It needs the kind of spice Sidiot can sprinkle.

If anyone can shed some light as to what Kellerman said that was “going too far”, I’d really appreciate it. Presumably, Kellerman’s previous shows on 92.3 with the pride of Red Hook, Tazz, were within the boundaries of good taste.

The Creepy Old Worldview Of Bob Feller

Posted in Baseball, Racism Corner at 3:16 pm

Hall Of Famer Bob Feller isn’t just about peddling $10 autographs 365 days a year. He’s also got a strange way of characterizing non-white players. From the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s Roger Brown (link taken from Baseball Think Factory).

The Indians’ season, already a downer, reached a disgraceful low Friday night when team legend Bob Feller, doing a guest stint on the team’s radio broadcast, said Indians catcher Victor Martinez reminded him of Stepin Fetchit — the shuffling black entertainer of the 1920s and ’30s (a figure viewed by most blacks as an insulting, degrading symbol). Even worse, Kevin Keane, who hosts an Indians postgame show on WTAM AM/1100 — the team’s main radio station — later replayed Feller’s ignorant statement in a lame attempt to milk laughs from listeners.

Maybe we need to break some news to Clevelanders (many of whom still find Chief Wahoo — the Indians’ racially insensitive team logo — cute): It’s 2006, people! 2006! It’s not 1906 anymore!

Well put. The 1906 Indians with Nap Lajoie at 2B would’ve probably managed more than 5 hits off Kenny Rogers (14-6) and the Tigers, 7-1 winners over Cleveland earlier today. Curtis Granderson, Marcus Thames, Carlos Guillen and I-Rod all homered for Detroit, who’ve likely stretched their AL Central lead over the Twins to 5 games. Minnesota are currently trailing Chicago, 6-1 in the top of the 8th, and Mark Buerhle has just departed after striking out 6 over 7 innings. A.J. Pierzynski, Joe Crede and Jose Uribe have all gone deep for the White Sox off Twins starter Carlos Silva.

Astros CF Willy Tavares extended his hitting streak to 30 games after beating out an infield single in the 3rd inning against Pittsburgh today.  Houston pounded Shawn Chacon and are up, 7-1 in the last of the 5th at McClatchy Memorial Field.  Former Round Rock Express starlet Jason Hirsh is in line to pick up his 2nd big league win, while Lance Berkman has homered (no. 36) and driven in 4 runs.

(Houston’s taxi squad belatedly celebrates the grand opening of the HEB Plus down the street)

Speaking of the Express, congrats are in order to Jackie Moore, Joe McEwing and whoever runs the Nolan Ryan’s Aged Beef stand down at the Dell Diamond.  Thursday night’s 4-3 win over Albuquerque clinched the PCL’s American Southern Division championship for Round Rock and puts the Express in line for a probable first-round playoff with Nashville starting September 6.  Taylor Bucholz takes the Hill for Round Rock later today, while former Mets prospect Yusmiero Petit will start for the Isotopes.

Mushnick On Unabated Mets Greed

Posted in Baseball, Total Fucking Terror at 2:52 pm

I never figured Fred Wilpon for a Pixies fan, but it would appear as though “Gouge Away” is his favorite tune. The New York Post’s Phil Mushnick reports on the Mets’ post-season ticket invoices.

A season’s ticket holder of four tickets last winter received his/her bill, to be paid in full by Jan. 27. That bill included a $20 “handling” fee to deliver all 81 games’ tickets, in this case, totaling 324 tickets.

This postseason, the Mets’ “handling” charge for those same four seats is $5 per ticket. One must buy all 10 potential home games, thus the handling charge for the four seats for the 10 games is $200.

Let’s recap: The Mets charged $20 to send a customer 324 regular-season tickets. The Mets then charged that same customer $200 to send 40 postseason tickets. That’s not even a fleecing on top of a gouging, that’s a robbery.

Ahh, but the Mets will provide some post-postseason relief. For those games that go unplayed, they will credit one’s 2007 account the cost of those games’ tickets plus the $5 per ticket handling fee. Or, several interest-free loan months later, the Mets will provide a refund on the tickets and the $5 per ticket handling fee.

So, then, the handling fee has nothing to do with handling, does it?

How does one issue “handling fee” refunds? The tickets are either handled or they aren’t. If the handling fee reflects the cost of handling the tickets, no credit or refund should be needed.

Of course, the “handling fee,” in this case, is just a beard, a front, an invention to pad the bill and the Mets’ bottom line. It’s just another tack-on, a test of your will, your wits and your wallet.

I’m not all about bashing Sterling Enterprises this Sunday, no sir. TSA and Homeland Security would do well to speak to whoever at Shea Stadium decided it would be a good idea to prevent ticket holders from moving between levels (upper reserved to mezz, mezz to loge), if only to search for a shorter beverage line. I had a tougher time manuevering through Shea this past Friday night than I did 3 different airports in the past week, and rightly so. The single biggest threat to our nation’s security is not a knife wielding, bomb-carrying jihadist on an international flight, but is more likely to be a person holding an $18 ticket to a Mets game. And they’re not practicing racial profiling at Shea — everyone sitting in the cheap seats is being treated like shit in equal measures.

Here’s a handful of transactions you might’ve been lucky enough to miss. With Ramon Castro being placed on the 60 day DL, the Mets have signed Kelly Stinnett. It could be worse — at least they didn’t make a move for Matt LeCroy. San Diego promoted Manny Alexander last week. Look for the Padres batboys to put on an extra twenty pounds of muscle between now and the end of the season.

Upon signing Jose Vizcaino, the Cardinals DFA’d Timo Perez earlier this week. In other thrilling ex-Mets news, 2B Jeff Keppinger was called up from Omaha by the Royals to take the roster spot vacated by Reggie Sanders. The latter will undergo surgery to repair the torn patella tendon in his left knee. The former will undergo the misery of having to be within smelling distance of Buddy Bell.

Liddell Levels Babalu

Posted in MMA at 2:22 pm

It took 95 seconds for Chuck Liddell (above, left) to render Renato Sorbal a crumpled mess last night in Vegas, setting up a probable meeting with the Iceman’s longtime nemesis Tito Ortiz.

Gangtas & Hugs’ Mojotek would’ve prefered a little more bang from Sorbal for his $36 bucks.

My buddy, his brother and I had just been talking all night about how everyone plays right into Chuck Liddell’s game plan. He doesn’t go after you, he just waits for you to do something stupid and then he swings to knock you the fuck out. And for a guy that looks like a redneck from the trailer park down the road from me, he does that VERY well.

NFL To Bring Dubious Spectacle To China

Posted in Gridiron at 2:09 pm

Reggie Jackson once said, “When we lose and I strike out, a billion people in China don’t care.” Presumably, some portion of those billion plus people are supposed to care next summer when Matt Cassell or the 2007 version of Scott Zolak are taking the snaps for New England versus Seattle. The Tampa Tribune’s Mike Sando reports the NFL is making plans to stage a Patriots/Seahawks exhibition game in Beijing.

For the Chinese government, this is a no-brainer.  After the populace gets a load of Bill Belichick, all future complaints in the human rights violations / free expression department will be put in the proper perspective.

I only saw bits and pieces of the Pats taking the Redskins to bits and pieces last night, but saw enough to be duly impressed by the mid-season form of Tom Brady, early glimpses of rookie RB Lawrence Maroney, Ben Watson (above) catching passes unmolested, but most of all, the way Washington’s D held New England to less than 50 points.

Treanor To Invisible Marlins Fans : Shame On You

Posted in Baseball, Video Games at 12:38 pm

Florida C Matt Treanor tells the Palm Beach Post’s Joe Capozzi, “”People in South Florida should be ashamed of themselves,”…and this has nothing to do with The Eat’s “Communist Radio”.

The overachieving Marlins inched closer to a winning record Saturday night by winning their sixth straight game in front of 30,017, their fourth-largest crowd of the year at Dolphin Stadium.

“I want to see people out here hooting and hollering, especially if they’re rooting for you instead of the Mets or Phillies or whoever is in town,” Treanor complained. “That kind of irks me, too, (when) people come to root for the (visiting) team. They got their team right there This is the ‘Fish.’ We’re from Miami. Let’s go.”

Still, with the Marlins creeping to within four games of .500 and four games of the wild-card lead, Treanor said he and his teammates are concentrating on the field, not on the stands.

“I just want to win,” he said.

“If they come, they come. If not, I wouldn’t mind being in the post-season with 2,000 people in the stands.”

ESPN’s Buster Olney is quick to take exception.

Fans are not obligated to buy tickets; teams are not entitled to have thousands of people laying out hundreds of dollars to watch them play. You come up with a product that people want to see, and they’ll pay. The reasons for fans not showing up at Marlins games began compiling long before Treanor became part of the organization.

Treanor has had a good year, but his words may rank among the most ill-chosen of the season. What a way to win over hearts and minds.

Fish Stripes, always standing in stark contrast to Miami fan apathy, provides a photograph of the D-Train’s mom. There’s no truth to the rumor the Red Sox would like her to pitch middle relief.

My copy of Joe Maddon ‘07 finally turned up in the mail, and apparently there’s a special feature where you can build your own players from scratch…and send them to Durham (where they end up in jail). It’s kind of Strat-o-Matic meets “Grand Theft Auto”, only far less exciting than either.

Kenny Anderson : Washed-Up, Overlooked Or Merely Delusional?

Posted in Basketball, Fashion at 11:44 am

The Boston Globe’s Shria “How Much Art Can You Take?” Springer writes that PG Kenny Anderson “just can’t figure out why no teams have expressed interest.”

“Sometimes I’m like, `Maybe I’ve played enough,’ ” said Anderson. “Then, there’s days when I work out and I want that team environment.

“I just need that opportunity. I’m in shape. I haven’t had any major injuries. I’m young, only 35. I didn’t want to retire at 34 or 35. I’ve still got that hunger. I want to be 100 percent sure that I can’t help a team when I finish, and I’m not there yet.

“I don’t know why I’m not getting a harder look. I think everybody knows I know how to run a team. I’m not going to be a cancer on a team. I’ve always been a good leader. Why doesn’t somebody say, `Hey, why not bring Kenny into camp?’ “

Even Derrick Coleman will vouch for Kenny’s work ethic.

Though The Association’s Craig Kwasniewski is no fan of the floppy Argentine, he’s duly impressed by Nike’s limited edition Ginobili Dunks.

They have clear powder blue soles and the inserts show a map from Argentina to San Antonio. So if you can stomach the Manu Ginobili era I suggest purchasing a pair.

Fish Front Office Working O.T. To Bury Girardi

Posted in Baseball at 11:10 am

A typically sharp performance last night by Dontrelle Willis coupled with Death Wish’s latest failure kept the Marlins within 4 games of the NL Wild Card, but the South Florida Sun-Sentinel David Hyde has further dirt to dish regarding the status of manager Joe Girardi. Writing that owner Jeffrey Loria “might have to stand in line next time he wants to shout at Girardi,” Hyde seems to be the beneficiary of a whispering campaign designed to take the Fish skipper down a notch or two.

Back in spring training, according to two Marlins sources, here’s some changes Girardi pushed for: Miguel Cabrera from third to first base; Dan Uggla not at second base but in left field; Josh Willingham at catcher, not Miguel Olivo; Alfredo Amezaga might not have made the team; and young pitchers like Ricky Nolasco and Josh Johnson would have started in the minor leagues.

Whew.

Pick your own reason to worry what might have been.

So you can understand, as Girardi pushed against moves the front office spent a thorny off-season making, how a perfect-storm of problems was brewing. Loria’s shouting match with Girardi was to some extent just the boiling point of that.

Ironically, it was Loria who demanded that Girardi be hired. That meant General Manager Larry Beinfest and Girardi had to hatch out their relationship on the run, and it has been “spotty at best,” one source said.

The manager’s job shouldn’t be overvalued. If you’re listing the assets for this team, you’d say: 1. Beinfest and his scouting staff; 2. Miguel Cabrera; 3. Dontrelle Willis; 4. The young arms starting with Johnson; 5. Hanley Ramirez and Uggla …

… and somewhere down below would be Girardi.

Papelbon Picks Up The Save. His 10th

Posted in Baseball at 12:59 am

That would be Josh Papelbon of the NY-Penn League Lowell Spinners, 3-1 winners over Oneonta at Fenway Saturday afternoon. Pawtucket beat Rochester, 5-4, in the nightcap, a two-run HR by Carlos Pena being the decisive blow.

As for the elder Papelbon….they couldn’t quite get the ball to him.

08.26.06

There Are No Meaningless Games. Just Meaningless Persons Who Want You To Turn Them Off

Posted in Gridiron, Sports TV at 11:04 pm

After the Mets’ 4-3 loss to Philly Friday night, I made my way back into Lower Manhattan and sought refuge in an undistinguished tavern. Hoping to medicate myself after the sorry events of the day just concluded, my attention was drawn by the 2nd half of the Giants/Jets annual preseason finale, a plodding enounter that ended with an unimpressive 13-7 scoreline in favor of Big Blue.

Watching this exhibition brought me to the first half of the prior decade. A band I was playing in had a Saturday evening show at CBGB, but we nearly had to skip our 11pm set, as our drummer, the noted painter and sculptor Harry Druzd (above), had lost track of time while watching the Giants and Jets do battle on his home television.

I was nearly apoplectic with rage. How could Harry risk disappointing the nearly two dozen persons in attendence just for the sake of the most meaningless event on the sporting calendar?

As the years have gone by, however, I’ve come ’round to Harry’s way of thinking. There are no meaningless games. In every competitive situation lies the potential for that one transcendent moment, a rare slice of artistic brilliance amidst a sea of mediocrity.

There were no such moments during last night’s telecast. Though the countless shots of Eric Mangini holding back the tears were pretty entertaining. (And I did miss the first half. )

I should also mention that Harry once caught an earful of verbal aggro from fellow MSG patrons when he refused to stand for “The Star Spangled Banner” at a Knicks game. This was the sort of civil disobedience that blazed a trail for Carlos Delgado.