(CSU’s Caleb Hanie, preparing to peak way too early)
While tomorrow’s college football kickoff in my adopted hometown will feature what one colleague accurately described as a big pep rally (albeit one with a $60 price tag), the Denver Post’s John Henderson would prefer to start the campaign with something other than a hot local derby.
After 17 years in this state, I still find Saturday’s Colorado-Colorado State season opener one really lousy idea. Obviously, I’m not the only one. Look around the country and what is unique about this rivalry?
Well, besides the fact it’s the only traditional nonconference rivalry this year that pits two lousy teams, it’s also the only one that traditionally opens the season. Look around. Army-Navy. Clemson-South Carolina. Florida-Florida State. Georgia-Georgia Tech. Virginia-Virginia Tech.
Every one plays in the regular-season finale. It’s when these rivalries should be played. Give the venom three months and 11 games to fester into a boil. Provide a carrot that tastes like chateaubriand after a win to salvage a losing season. Put it in standard time, in late November, when darkness envelops the stadium as the seniors walk off a field for the last time.
Instead, Colorado and CSU play at 10 a.m. After the game, the players could have lunch.
Some schools found a clue. Iowa and Iowa State opened the season in the 1980s, but now it’s always the second or third game. Louisville and Kentucky traditionally opened the season, but when Rich Brooks arrived at Kentucky in 2003 he found the first opportunity he could and, starting this year, moved his home game with Louisville to later in September.
Yeah, I know why the Buffaloes and Rams play when they play. Both schools are chasing the dollar at 76,000-seat Invesco Field at Mile High. It’s a grand venue, of course. Totally neutral, and it has 25,000 seats more than Folsom Field and 40,000 more than Hughes Stadium. Once the NFL season begins, it’s tough to slip in a college game.
Also, let’s face it. Colorado does have a traditional rival at the end of the year. As former Buffs quarterback Mike Moschetti told me Wednesday: “Colorado State, our in-state rival, was not the game I came to Colorado for. When I got to Colorado, Nebraska was all anybody talked about.”
With a story that should knock the thrilling news of the NFL’s new logo off the front page of tomorrow’s newspapers, Patriots CB Rodney Harrison has confirmed he’ll be suspended by the league tomorrow for violating the league’s policy on, uh, a substance he didn’t specify. Given that Harrison is denying steroid use and claims “my use was solely for the purpose of accelerating the healing process of injuries I sustained while playing football,” we’ll assume it was HGH. Or Icy Hot.
After today’s annoucement by Vanessa Jack Del Rio that David Garrard had supplanted Byron Leftwich as the Jags’ starting QB, the Fanhouse’s Michael David Smith is spreading the scuttlebutt that Kansas City might be interested in Jacksonville’s former no. 1 pick. Chances are, Leftwich will be cut rather than traded — it’s doubtful the Chiefs (or anyone else) would take on his $5 million price tag.
He looks kinda familiar, and apparently he’s put up some solid numbers recently in the Florida State League. So good luck, then, to young pitching hopeful Pedro Martinez, who will make his first big league start of 2007 on Monday against the Cincinnati Reds.
While the ever pithy Marc Perlman suggested that John Maine would “shit the bed” tonight against Atlanta, instead, the latter has held the Braves to a pair of singles, as the Mets lead, 4-0 after 5 1/2 innings. Carlos Delgado hit a 4th inning, 3-run HR over the centerfield fence off Tim Hudson in the 4th, while Jose Reyes followed with a solo shot to right an inning later. But cheer up, Marc, there’s still plenty of time left for Felicano, Heilman or Wagner to shit the bed.
Not sure how Mushnick missed this earlier today, but it’s a little funny that even in the midst of the WWE’s biggest PR problem since the Montreal Screw Job, wrestling’s most powerful entity is still far quicker to suspend their big name talent for PED use than MLB. If only Chavo Guerrero had Donald Fehr in his corner.
A Sophia Loren or Gina Lollobrigida may not be among them, but a group of attractive Under-23 Italian girl soccer players arrived in Toronto on the invitation of Carlo Del Monte, a Toronto soccer enthusiast.
(Also not on under-23 Italian girl soccer team)
“The girls representing the Umbria Selects of Italy would play two matches this weekend in aid of Kick4Cancer,” said Del Monte.
“They’ll play Saturday at 4 p.m. against the Woodbridge Azzurri Soccer Club and Monday, again at 4 pm, against the National Training Centre of Ontario.
Sandwiched between the two Umbria matches on Sunday will be a game between the Woodbridge Azzurri and the National Training Centre, also at 4 p.m”
The matches will be played at the Ontario Soccer Association field at 7601 Martingrove Rd., Vaughan.
Perhaps next week an unattractive under-23 Albanian men’s soccer team will be in town.
“I guess this trumps my John Kennedy autograph,” writes Repoz, “mainly because it’s John Kennedy, former Yankee/Red Sox/Dodger infielder.” From Beckett Media’s Kevin Haake.
The first of three George Washington hair relic cards from 2007 Topps Allen & Ginter finally surfaced over the weekend in a 10-day auction listing on eBay. The auction, which currently stands at $8,300, with six days remaining, has attracted more than 40 active bidders and 9,000 unique page views in its first four days.
“It’s the most groundbreaking card that I’ve ever pulled,” said 17-year veteran hobby dealer Ken Simonis of Phoenix, Arizona. “I’ve been a high-end, game-used, dealer for long time and I have pulled some cards back in the day that could be equivalent monetarily to this card, but never have I pulled anything so unique.” “I’ve received a mountain of email,” Simonis said. “Some people want to know about its origin, other people have just written to congratulate me, and others think the card is gross. The strangest email I’ve received by far was from a gentleman who seriously wanted me to end the auction so that he could buy it and try to clone George Washington.So what does the introduction of DNA cards mean for the future of the hobby?
“The 2007 Topps Allen and Ginter Relics George Washington hair card is a monumental first for the hobby. Never before has there been a DNA card produced,” said Baseball Price Guide Editor Brian Fleischer. “Are DNA cards the hobby’s next big thing? It’s hard to say, because of the difficulty in obtaining such “relics” but there have been auction sales of Elvis Presley hair, among others, so it may be only a matter of time before we see another DNA card.
Surely I’m not the only person who can envision an ambitious firm launching the long awaited DNA DNA card?
(Iran’s Ahmadinejad, mulling Boomer’s offer, but probably holding out for an invite from Joe Beningo-Gazingo)
Boomer Esiason, along with the polarizing Craig Carton, will takeover Don Imus’ old morning slot on WFAN starting next Tuesday, Sept. 4. SI.com’s Richard Deitsch provided the former QB with ample rope to hang himself.
SI: What will the format of your show be?
Esiason: I know they are positioning it as a sports format, but it will be everything. We could do Hurricane Dean or Hillary Clinton. We could do Rudy Guliiani or Tom Tancredo. Or we could be talking about the Yankees, the Jets or sinkholes in the Bronx. This month we’re coming up on the sixth anniversary of 9-11. I had offices on the first tower of the World Trade Center so I have intimate contact with 9-11. The anniversary affords me a platform to talk about all the things that have transpired over the years.
SI: Who are your three dream radio guests?
Esiason: Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, so I can grill the s— out of him. Michael Jordan, to ask him about what he thinks of today’s athlete. And Gisele Bündchen. To get the real scoop on Tom Brady, and just to say that I interviewed her. My buddies would be impressed.
SI: Can you envision doing this for a decade?
Esiason: I really can. Good morning radio to me is when you are driving to work and you miss your exit because it’s so good to listen to. Some people have said that when they are listening to Marv Albert and I calling Monday Night Football, they will sit in their car in their driveway listening to us as opposed to getting out of the car to watch the broadcast.
OK, I’m as big a fan of Sexual Libertine Marv Albert as anyone this side of Chris Elliot, but no matter how badly MNF’s TV trio meshed last year, I sincerely doubt there is one person alive who would prefer to hear Albert and Esiason in their driveway. Maybe in the garage (with the motor running), but not the driveway.
(£7.5 million for golf / karaoke enthusiast Craig Bellamy)
The Guardian’s Harry Pearson has an unidentified acquaintance with an interesting theory on sky-high salaries versus the paucity of British players starting for some of the Premier League’s top clubs.
“Could it be a question of supply and demand? Has the global clamour for British talent created a world shortage? A look at the situation abroad suggests not. British players in Serie A: nil. British players in La Liga: nil. British players in the Bundesliga: nil. British players in whatever the name of the French league is: nil. I think we can conclude that the demand for British players outside these islands is more or less nonexistent.
“And on these shores? Well, the fact that at least once a week somebody blames the demise of the national team on the number of foreigners playing in the Premier League suggests that nobody here much wants them either.
“Unless, of course, this absence is due to a shortage of British players. But a wander round the local park on a Sunday morning suggests not. No, there are tens of thousands of British footballers available for hire, all more than capable of sauntering about for 90 minutes, bellowing “In the channels, Andy”, “Communication!” and “Tempo, lads, tempo” while occasionally pointing at the spot where they think the pass ought to have been played.
“Are they then more talented than the foreign imports? Is that why they cost more? I hardly need go into that.
“We can also rule out an altruistic desire on the part of our clubs to preserve the British footballer from extinction in much the same way the World Wildlife Fund battles to save Leadbeater’s possum and the monkey-eating eagle. I can therefore offer only one conclusion. It is this: You know that a large bag of nutritious fresh food bought from the local market will cost less than a load of junk from the corner shop, yet on occasion you go to the corner shop for your meal. Why? Because you can pop along in your slippers and be back in time for Football Focus. Ease and idleness overrides financial and nutritional sense.”
(Fiddy, moments after being told Phil Mushnick has pre-ordered ‘Graduation’)
I guess the Conscience Of NewsCorp wasn’t won over by 50 Cent’s Vitamin Water commercial. (While I don’t watch a ton of classical music coverage on TV, I’m pretty sure they don’t feature play-by-play commentary). From Dr. Phil in Friday’s NY Post :
ESPN proudly announced that its big, Saturday night, prime-time college football schedule on ABC would be accompanied by the work of gangsta rapper Curtis Jackson, street named 50 Cent. That’s right, 50 Cent, ESPN was happy to report, has been engaged by the network to write “special lyrics” that will serve as ABC’s “Saturday Night College Football” opening.
ESPN/ABC’s press release reads that 50 Cent “has taken the street culture by storm.” But I’ll bet that none of the champs who selected 50 Cent for this endeavor lives anywhere near that street nor that storm.
ESPN’s press release doesn’t include any hints, let alone specifics, but 50 Cent’s lyrics are among the vilest, most hateful, violent and vulgar ever recorded for mass production and mainstream consumption. His artistry demonstrates a consistent fondness for two things: himself and guns.
Of course, the next time ESPN or ABC shows the likes of Bruce Willis or James Gandolfini courtside at a major sporting event, Phil is unlikely to criticize the network for glamorizing gun violence. As always, certain types of artistry (and certain audiences) are held to very different standards in the Mushnick household.
Though fading fast in the NL Central — last night’s 5-4 loss to the Cubs dropped the Brewers to 2 1/2 games back, there’s a bit of good news for Milwaukee’s bottom line, as reported by the Biz Of Baseball’s Maury Brown.
The Milwaukee Brewers will unveil a massive Citgo sign in the shape of a gas pump just outside the right-centerfield fence. The new sign will light up each time the Brewers hit a home run.
According to the SBD, the “22-foot-high pump contains an LED board where the price of gas would appear, but it instead will display the distance of every homer.”
No word yet on whether or not Hugo Chavez will have editorial control over Bob Uecker, or if the Venezuela prez might be compelled to make an appearance in the booth himself.
Believe it or not, the squirrel’s actions closely resembled those of Ratatosk, or “gnawing tooth,” a squirrel in Norse mythology that climbed up and down a tree that represented the world. Snorri Sturluson, an Icelandic scholar and poet, recorded the story in his 13th-century work “Prose Edda.”
As the story goes, Ratatosk carried insults as it traveled to opposite ends of the tree, fueling a rivalry between the evil dragon residing at the bottom of the tree and the eagle perched at the top.
“Oh, that’s perfect,” said Roberta Frank, a professor of Old Norse and Old English at Yale University, when told of the squirrel’s antics at the stadium.
Frank was born in the Bronx and is a Yankees fan. She said in a telephone interview yesterday that in the Bronx version of this myth, the Yankees would probably represent the eagle and the rival Red Sox would represent the dragon. The Yankees, after all, are the home team this week, more or less making them the good guys. And if there were a sports team identified with an eagle, it has to be the Yankees, who have begun any number of postseason games with a visit from Challenger, the bald eagle who swoops in from center field.
But being the eagle is not such a good thing, Frank noted.
“The dragon will destroy the world in Norse mythology,” she said, adding that the eagle would be on the losing end of a battle that was only made worse by the malicious squirrel.
On paper, you had to figure a matchup of El Duque versus Kyle Fucking Lohse would favor the visitors, but instead, the Mets would conclude August with their 5th consecutive defeat, and 4th in a row to the surging Phillies. And there’s no way to discount how severely momentum in the NL East has shifted over the past week.
The series at CBP had a serious postseason vibe, but only the hosts showed anything approaching poise. Barring a turnaround over the season’s final month, we might well identify Aaron Rowland’s 45 foot squib from Tuesday as the begining of the end for the ‘07 Mets. And while Marlon Anderson’s take-out-that-wasn’t was the pivotal play in Wednesday night’s loss, the following are the grim points to ponder after Thursday’s marathon.
* – At what point does the notion of knocking down Pat Burrell become acceptable to the Flushing Pacifists? Burrell’s pair of homers on Wednesday increased his career total against New York to an inexplicable 41. How thoroughly does Burrell own the Metropolitans? Chipper Jones would like Burrell to adopt his kids.
* – Solely based on this season’s results to date, there’s no way you’d take Jose Reyes ahead of Jimmy Rollins.
* – Given the recent futility of Guillermo Mota and Aaron Heilman, it’s not totally unexpected that Willie Randolph would summon Billy Wagner as early as the top of the 8th inning. But it’s a pretty desperate scenario when a closer who’s openly professed to having a dead arm is taxed beyond his usual capabilities. While the Mets are hoping Pedro Martinez will represent an improvement in the starting rotation over Brian Lawrence, a miracle recovery from Duaner Sanchez might be of greater need.
Quote of the week award goes to Metsradamus : “You would think that people would know better than to call me fresh after a loss like that. But one call I did take was from Art Howe. He congratulated the team for battling.”
Though I’m fully in agreement with a portion of CSTB’s readership that Majestic’s MLB licensed pullover shirts are an undignified look for a big league skipper, it’s astonishing to think the league would have a security official harass Terry Francona in the middle of a game. And if Tito cites “circulation issues” for a reason why he’s reluctant to wear a full uniform, I’m inclined to take him at his word.
Though a Red Sox fan as a younger man, ESPN.com’s Jim Caple says of his fellow rooters, “as soon as the Red Sox won the 2004 World Series, Boston fans took on a swaggering persona, acting as if they alone invented sports fandom and behaving as if nothing else in baseball mattered but them.” Even worse, he throws in a reference to “Can’t Buy Me Love”.
No one can stand to be around Red Sox fans anymore. And they’re everywhere — a recent USA Today article labeled the Red Sox baseball’s new biggest attraction. Forget a fence between the U.S. and Mexico. What we really need is a wall, a moat and a minefield around New England to keep the spoiled citizens of Red Sox Nation from sneaking into the rest of the country and taking over seats in major league ballparks that should go to hard-working local fans. Everywhere the Red Sox play these days turns into a road version of Fenway Park, with Boston fans occasionally drowning out the hometown fans with their “Let’s Go Red Sox!” chants. They were so over the top at a recent game in Seattle, I was surprised the Mariners didn’t play “Sweet Caroline.”
Whether this is an inspiring show of team pride by passionate fans or an annoying lack of manners depends on how close you have to actually sit to these people.
They call themselves Red Sox Nation, the same arrogant way the Cowboys call themselves America’s Team. And the whole thing is getting a little old. Could I get a little help here from Miss Teen South Carolina? Where the hell is Red Sox Nation anyway? It seems to me Red Sox Nation only exists when the team is winning, like a country that only shows up on U.S. State Department radar when oil is discovered. Wherever Red Sox Nation is, I just wish Bush would invade it.
Having watched listened to many of Boston’s recent away games in Anaheim and Seattle on the radio — and been left wondering if there were any home fans in attendence judging by the noise each time the Red Sox scored, I think Caple’s got a point. One, however, that Jeff Johnson was a little more successful in making, but just the same, can’t other cities generate a requisite sense of entitlement enthusiasm for their ballclubs?
Is Yi 19 years old as FIBA contends? FIBA is the ruling body of international basketball.
Or is he 22, which other sources say he is?
During the teleconference Wednesday from Hong Kong conducted with U.S. reporters, the Bucks were asked a simple question.
How old is Yi?
“He’s listed at 19, isn’t he?” came a comment from the Bucks’ end.
Bucks general manager Larry Harris then answered.
“Well, I would say this,” said Harris. “Obviously FIBA keeps their records and that’s what we go off. He’s listed as 19. It’s been a question that has been out there. But as far as we are concerned, we have to go off the documents that we have. He is 19 years old. Being with him today, he’s a fine young man. That’s what we are going with.”
But others insist Yi was born Oct. 27, 1984, which would make him 22. FIBA lists his birthday as Oct. 27, 1987.
Observers say that Yi’s correct age is listed for him at the Guangdong government social insurance site. That site lists the birth date for a Yi Jianlian as Oct. 27, 1984.
Moreover, a Chinese source e-mailed a reporter a class picture of Yi’s when he graduated from the sixth grade in the No. 3 class of the Xinxiu Elementary School in Shenzhen.
“Kids in China usually start going to school at 7 years old,” said the source. “And they should be at 13 years old by the time they finish the sixth grade, or at least 12 years old if they started when they were 6.
“Unless Yi started elementary school at 3, he can’t be 19 now,” the source said.
Tuesday’s 5-4 defeat to the Rangers was the 15th loss in 18 games for Ozzie Guillen’s Chicago White Sox. The resulting postgame meltdown, as documented by the Tribune’s Mark Gonzales, has hopefully been converted to mp3 form.
“Well, they’re killing me,” Guillen said. “They’re killing my family. They’re killing my coaching staff, killing the White Sox fans. They kill the owner. They kill everyone. I hope they feel the same way we feel.”
Guillen sounded as if he ran out of answers.
“You don’t see this today,” Guillen said. “You’ve seen this since April. I keep giving people a chance to succeed, a pat on the back. I wish I played for a manager like that. I swear to God I wish I could have played for a (expletive) manager like that. Every time you fail and keep putting guys out there who fail day in and day out, that’s easy to play.
“A $100 million payroll and those guys don’t show how much they make in the field. Well, Kenny [Williams], I don’t say what he has to do, but we play like this and spend all that money on the club like that, I will shut the payroll and go with Double-A kids if we have to, because it’s not easy. I know those guys go out there and they care about it.”
“I hope somebody out there cares the way we care,” he said. “Good guys or nice guys finish (expletive) last. I’m tired of seeing that (expletive), day in and day out. And I don’t want to spend a miserable September seeing the same (expletive). If I have to see the same (expletive), I told Kenny, ‘Bring somebody up. (Expletive) it.’
“If it’s my fault, I should be moving out of here then. If it’s my fault, (expletive) fire my (expletive) and I’ll be fine. I have the job to do and I get paid a lot of (expletive) money to make this club work, but it’s not easy to work with people like that. It’s not easy.
The Sox failed to hold a lead for Jon Garland in the seventh, and they didn’t score after the fourth and wasted rallies in the ninth and 10th. Guillen is tired of his coaching staff taking the blame.
“Hit and run, it fails,” Guillen said. “Fail to move the guy over with the bases loaded, no outs. Second and third, one out (and don’t score). You keep failing like that, well, Greg Walker doesn’t hit. Ozzie Guillen doesn’t hit. Don Cooper isn’t pitching. Then have fun.”
Give O.G. this much — at least he waited until the very end of August to deny responsibility for his last place club showing no heart.
In the aftermath of last night’s events in the Bronx, a certain Red Sox starter has been criticized for his lack of clutchy-tude. As heard this morning on WFAN :
“Let’s see Josh Beckett walk into Yankee Stadium, and pitch like a Cy Young contender. He gave up, what, 13 hits last night? He was not money. Beckett is just not very good against the Yankees.”
A typically strong take from Evan Roberts. Do you think Joe Benigno-Gazingo’s sidekick might be able to identify the orgin and circumstances surrounding the following photograph?
A marriage counselor would have a field day with this one, by the way. And while I hate to take sides, I wholeheartedly encourage abusive husbands throughout the land to blame Kyle Farnsworth for their actions.
To coin a phrase from Boston’s epic collapse of 1978, was Wednesday the night a first place team was eliminated from the NL East pennant race?
Only a fuckin’ retard the most cynical of viewers would be unimpressed with the manner in which Philly’s relief corps — helmed by Mr. Anger Management, natch, have rendered the Mets’ bats useless. Who’d have thought an offense as potent as New York’s would emerge from three games in the bandbox conditions of CBP with 6 combined runs?
Not to put the entire result on the shoulders of Jose Reyes — currently being outclassed (for a few days, anyway) by that preseason mouth-runner Jimmy Rollins — but the Mets SS running his team out of an inning twice in one night is an occasion as rare as a solar eclipse. Or a thoughtful comment from Brett Myers.
Unless Willie Randolph decides to start pitching El Duque on 2 days’ rest, I’ll resist the Gene Mauch comparisons. But if Shawn Green is so utterly out of the mix, what, pray tell, is the point of pinch-hitting the veteran Tribesman in the 9th inning when Ruben Gotay was an alternative?
Rule 7.09(d) Comment: If the batter or a runner continues to advance after he has been put out, he shall not by that act alone be considered as confusing, hindering or impeding the fielders.
(e) If, in the judgment of the umpire, a base runner willfully and deliberately interferes with a batted ball or a fielder in the act of fielding a batted ball with the obvious intent to break up a double play, the ball is dead. The umpire shall call the runner out for interference and also call out the batter-runner because of the action of his teammate. In no event may bases be run or runs scored because of such action by a runner.
(f) If, in the judgment of the umpire, a batter-runner willfully and deliberately interferes with a batted ball or a fielder in the act of fielding a batted ball, with the obvious intent to break up a double play, the ball is dead; the umpire shall call the batter-runner out for interference and shall also call out the runner who had advanced closest to the home plate regardless where the double play might have been possible. In no event shall bases be run because of such interference.
Randolph was adament that Marlon Anderson’s foot hit 2nd base on his attempted mauling of Tadahito Iguchi, hence, the play was legit (Carlos Ruiz, put your hand down). And the sad thing is, the unspeedy Green might well have beaten the throw without the benefit of Anderson’s manuever.
The stolen line from the first sentence aside, the Willie’s Mets are still clinging to a 3 game lead, which cannot be said of the Detroit. A 5-0 loss to the K.C. law firm of Greinke, Gobble, Braun and Riske — on a night Andrew Miller couldn’t get out of the first inning — relegated the Tigers to a 4 1/2 game deficit in the AL Central. Cleveland gained a game on the back of C.C. Sabathia’s 15th win, as the Indians beat the Twins and Johan Santana, 4-3.
The Ghost Of Gene Mauch was just on the phone. He thinks Ned Yost oughta try giving Ben Sheets the ball every two days the rest of the way.
A music industry professional who shall remain nameless once told me a story about Todd Marinovich hitting on Kim Gordon at a party. Or maybe it was Y.A. Tittle. And while it’s sometimes hard to remember the late night rock gossip, the following sordid tale comes from the Orange County Register’s Jeff Overley :
One-time standout USC quarterback Todd Marinovich faces the latest in a long run of legal troubles after being charged with felony drug possession and resisting a police officer.
Police said Marinovich, 38, ran from officers who tried to stop him about 1:15 a.m. Sunday for skateboarding near the Newport Pier boardwalk, where skateboarding is prohibited.
He was found hiding in a carport about 1:30 a.m., police Sgt. Evan Sailor said. After searching Marinovich, police found about one gram of methamphetamine, a metal spoon and a hypodermic needle, Sailor said.
Marinovich was charged with possession of a controlled substance, which is a felony, as well as unauthorized possession of a hypodermic needle and resisting a police officer, both misdemeanors.
He pleaded not guilty to all three charges during a court appearance today. As of this afternoon, he was being held in lieu of $50,000 bail at Orange County Jail.
Shocking stuff — a 38 year old on a skateboard? Besides Graham Coxson, I mean.
On the bright side, however, I summoned every ounce of self control to not utilize the headline, “FUZZ TO RAIDER FLOP : YOU’RE NOT WELCOME IN THE O.C. (BITCH)”.
Allen Maki of the Globe & Mail says of Rawlings’ new top-of-the-line Primo mitt, “If I paid $400 for a baseball glove, I’d want it with Italian leather and a GPS system. I’d want it complete with a CD player and plenty of head space. Come to think of it: it should also come with four wheels and good gas mileage.” Alexander Portnoy could tell Maki a thing or two about varied uses for a baseball glove that no GPS system can match, but perhaps the latter can figure that out during a lonely moment.
According to its stats, the Primo features rich “Italian leather hand-sewn into an advanced three-layer design” that can be broken on to suit various positions — infield, outfield, bench warmer.
Rawlings notes that the Primo takes two days to make and that only 3,000 models will be constructed this year.
The irony, according to a report in Fortune magazine, is that not one of Rawlings’ big-name major-league clients is willing to wear the Primo in an actual game. Derek Jeter won’t. Alex Rodriguez won’t. Jose Reyes and Albert Pujols won’t.
There are three pitchers using them but one — Jake Peavy of the San Diego Padres — has asked Rawlings to remake his old glove with Italian leather.
At $400 a pop, maybe Hanley Ramirez should consider wearing one on each hand?
Taking Red Sox Inc. to task for things like the mainstreaming of RSN is a bit played out (sadly, I’ve not caught that dating show with Jerry Remy channeling Chuck Woolery), but as Call Of The Green Monster demonstrates, there’s something to be said for the fresh approach of inventing Larry Lucchino quotes.
“Let me say unequivocally that the stupid fan is very important to us,” Lucchino says earnestly. “We’ve done focus groups with hundreds of stupid fans to really get into their mindset and see what drives them. For instance, we found that they’ll pay almost anything for a beer as long as there is no limit to how many they are served. That’s why our policy is that no matter how drunk a fan is, if they can somehow manage to stagger their way to the concession stand—we’ll keep selling them beer.” Lucchino said that research indicates that stupid fans don’t mind not having any recollection of the game. “Hey, I love watching baseball, but who am I to tell someone what constitutes a fun time at the game?”
Lucchino was asked if he has any regrets about phasing out the more learned fans, those who truly love the game, and not those who attend games just to make a fool out themselves. “I just feel the stupid fan has been ignored for far too long,” Lucchino said, eyes misty and his voice quivering with emotion just a bit. “To accommodate them, we will continue to raise ticket prices, let the alcohol flow, and keep those pink hats coming. Hell, I’ll even throw down a few beachballs from my luxury box.”
Richard Jewell, the Centennial Olympic Park security guard once suspected — but later cleared — in the bombing of the park during the 1996 Summer Games, was found dead Wednesday in his home in Meriwether County. He was 44.
County coroner Johnny Worley said Jewell’s wife discovered him dead in their Woodbury home at about 10:30 a.m., and he was pronounced dead by Worley about 45 minutes later.
Jewell was initially lauded as a hero after a bomb went off at the July 27, 1996, Olympic celebration. He called attention to the suspicious knapsack that held a bomb and helped evacuate the area.
But days later he became the FBI’s chief suspect, as The AJC and other media outlets reported.
The FBI later cleared Jewell of any wrongdoing. He was never charged with a crime.
Eric Robert Rudolph pleaded guilty to the bombing in 2005 and is serving life in prison for it and other attacks.
After he was cleared, Jewell sued the Journal-Constitution and other media outlets for libel, arguing that their reports defamed him. Several news organizations settled, including NBC and CNN.
The Journal-Constitution did not settle. The newspaper has contended that at the time it published its reports, Jewell was a suspect, so the articles were accurate. The newspaper also has asserted that it was not reckless or malicious in its reports regarding Jewell. Much of Jewell’s case was dismissed last year.
Jewell’s passing deprives our nation of a desperately needed public servant who can tackle the thankless task of identifying suspicious knapsacks. And let’s be clear —- all knapsacks are suspicious.
Andrew Giuliani should be graduating college soon, however, so there’s still hope.
After a week in which chairman Daniel Levy and his board have endured intense criticism for their apparrent attempts to replace boss Martin Jol, Spurs announced London Evening Standard reporters would be barred from attending games and press conferences at the training ground.
Tottenham are unhappy at a number of articles by Standard columnist Matthew Norman (above) about the club, and Levy in particular.
In a statement Spurs said: ‘Please note this decision has been taken by the club’s management board, not in haste and at a time when quite simply “enough is enough”.
‘The timing of this is in no way related to comments generated as a result of the past few days’ events – Matthew Norman’s personal attacks continue regardless of what happens at the club.’
However, the Standard has defended its coverage, with fellow columnist David Mellor quick to rush to Norman’s support.
Writing in Tuesday’s Standard, Mellor described Levy’s recent actions as ’so crass that even Pravda in the bad old days might have felt constrained to utter a little coded criticism of his behaviour.’
While Chelsea acolyte Mellor makes a valid point for once, in terms of public sympathies, his coming to Norman’s defense is not entirely unlike Ron Artest speaking out on behalf of Michael Vick. Ie., thanks for the support, pal, but perhaps you could’ve just sent a text message.
For every Television, there was an Inflatable Boy Clams. For every Ramones, there was a Rude Buddha. For every Agnostic Front…there was Agnostic Front. You get the idea.
(left to right : Hily, Paul Simon. Not shown : Jimmy Gestapo, Donny The Punk)
An inconsistent booking aesthetic and life threatening chili aside, we’ll choose to remember the late Hilly Kristal fondly, and for all the “it’s not as good as it used to be” grumblings about CBGB’s (some of which, to be fair, started in 1978) there’s no disputing that some of the greatest shows we ever witnessed took place on the Bowery between 1st and 2nd.
Heck, some of ‘em even took place inside the club.
A survey performed by UK snoozy advice group The Sleep Council claims modern teens aren’t dozing properly due to the proliferation of video game consoles, televisions and other contemporary gadgets. From Ars Technica’s Jacqui Cheng :
23 percent of those surveyed said that they regularly fell asleep while watching TV, listening to music, or with “other machinery” still running. The Council says that this is not surprising, given that 98.5 percent of the teenagers have phones, music systems, or TVs in their bedrooms (almost two-thirds had all three).
Even at the younger end of the group, electronics in the bedroom are prevalent—58 percent of 12- to 14-year-old boys reported having a phone, music player, TV, or game console in the bedroom.
And although many adults claim that they fall asleep more easily with the TV on, it doesn’t always work the same way for kids. One in five of all the teenage boys surveyed admitted that leaving the TV or computer on was affecting the quality of their sleep.
Just imagine how their sleep would suffer if they went to bed listening to the dulcet tones of Captain Midnight?
“In terms of goals scored, is Ole Gunnar Solskjaer the best substitute in English football history?” asks Peter Brown.
He’s certainly the best in Premiership history. (What do you mean football didn’t begin in 1992? Pass the muesli.) Solskjaer has scored 17 league goals after coming off the bench, which puts him comfortably clear of Jermain Defoe, Kanu, Andy Cole and Tore Andre Flo, each of whom have 13. In all competitions, Solskjaer scored 29 of his 126 United goals from the bench. His first goal for United, in August 1996, came six minutes after he was introduced in a home match against Blackburn; spookily, his last goal for the club also came six minutes after he had come off the bench at home to Blackburn.
It is hard to say with absolute certainty that Solskjaer is the most prolific substitute in English football history, as records from the pre-Premiership era are less comprehensive. His most likely rival, Liverpool’s David Fairclough, scored either 18 goals (according to the official Liverpool site) or 20 (various newspaper reports) as a substitute in his time at Anfield. Fairclough also played for Norwich, Oldham, Tranmere and Wigan but, in the absence of cold, hard data, we’re presuming he wasn’t a substitute too often. And he only scored three goals for them anyway.
Confusing stuff from the Tampa marketing department (link courtesy Sam Frank). The part I’m puzzled by? Other than wondering why “The Umperor” isn’t named Jerry Meals, I also cannot figure out why there’s no place for Elijah Dukes in the above adventure.
The SF Chronicle’s Bruce Jenkins raises the bizarre spectre of Barry Bonds As David Brent (”the Giants continue to make excuses for Bonds, a veritable domineering boss who gets too drunk at the office party. They overlook every disgraceful move and bow to the shrine of his home runs. That has to end. His teammates aren’t going for it, and neither is any fan who ever seriously played the game.”), while offering a rare tribute to player typically described (around here, anyway) as a ticking time-bomb.
Stodgy football coaches like to say three things can happen when you put the ball in the air, and two of ‘em are bad. That’s how it is when you take a gamble on Milton Bradley: He can get in a perpetual foul mood, eventually self-destructing. He can get injured — a lot. Or he can lift your team to great heights, which is exactly what he’s doing in San Diego right now. Not that the A’s have any regrets; it’s too late for that. Bradley hates Billy Beane, and I’d imagine the feeling is mutual, so there’s no way that relationship was going to last a moment longer than it did. But Bradley was a force with the Dodgers, he was by far the A’s best player during last year’s ALCS against Detroit (his final-game performance was the stuff of greatness), and he has singlehandedly revived the Padres — in their run production and in their spirit. They’ve won five out of six as this is written (Sunday), and his power hitting has resurrected a lineup believed to be deceased. We all know there isn’t much value in a long-term association with Bradley. His history strongly suggests otherwise. But the Padres have a four-game lead in the wild-card standings right now, and if Bradley and pitcher Chris Young (back issues) stay healthy, they’ll be right back in the playoffs.
While the Florida State League hosted rehab stints by Pedro Martinez and Mark Mulder last night, high Class-A’s classiest performance Monday came from Phillies prospect Andrew Carpenter, who tossed a 7 inning perfect game in Clearwater’s 2-0 win over Fort Myers. Carpenter’s bid was nearly broken up by Ron Gardenhire’s son, Toby, who nearly ended up with a bloop single in the 6th inning.
First person to say something about Tim Couch being tossed out of Canton loses their comment privileges for at least 10 minutes. In all seriousness, if Human Growth Hormone isn’t potent enough to help a QB beat out Lester Ricard for 3rd place on the Jacksonville depth chart, to quote Ray Parker Jr., Couch oughta want a new drug.
“We couldn’t agree on the outcome of the O.J. Simpson murder trial 12 years ago and we couldn’t cheer, or boo, together during the Barry Bonds home run chase this summer. No doubt we would have argued bitterly had Kobe Bryant faced trial on a rape allegation a couple of years ago,” writes Newsday’s Wallace Matthews, “and now, we are arguing over Michael Vick.”
Maybe race does play a role in everything that happens in this country. For my own sanity and peace of mind, I choose to believe not. I think – and I hope – that Vick is going down solely on the merits of his case.
Clearly, there is hypocrisy in a society that is more outraged with Vick than, say, Brett Myers, who was charged with smacking his wife in full view of witnesses in downtown Boston, or would seek to ban Vick from the NFL while embracing Ray Lewis as “God’s Linebacker.”
But that doesn’t change the fact that Vick’s crime baffles the sensibilities to the point that you wonder if there is something seriously wrong with him. Don’t tell me about his upbringing or his environment, please. Unless he was raised by Charles Manson or Son of Sam – both white men, by the way – he would have to know that executing dogs was wrong.
But the Vick case once again exposes the great racial divide in this country, in which people who interact daily, conduct civil conversations with one another and even regard each other as “friends” can look at the same individual, the same incident, and see it completely differently.
While it does seem hard to fathom that Michael Vick was surprised to learn those in power (more of whom resemble Matthews than members of the Vick clan) would find dog fighting socially unacceptable, surely Wally is aware that dogs are executed every day?
There’s all kinds of cruelty worthy of examination, some examples of which are legal, institutionalized, and practiced by one of Newsday’s most longstanding advertisers. Michael Vick is merely the most convenient, easiest to vilify public figure available, so we shouldn’t hold our breath waiting for Matthews to consider the history of Port Washington’s North Shore Animal League.
Sevilla midfielder Antonio Puerta, one of Spain’s most promising young players, died on Tuesday, three days after collapsing during a La Liga contest.
The 22-year-old Spanish international had been in a critical condition in the Virgen del Rocio hospital in Seville since suffering a heart attack on Saturday.
Sevilla said that Puerta’s body would be taken to the club’s Sanchez Pizjuan stadium, where fans could pay their respects, and that he would be buried tomorrow.
Puerta collapsed after jogging back towards his own goal 35 minutes into the game against Getafe.
Team-mates and medical staff prevented him from swallowing his tongue and he was able to walk from the pitch.
However, he collapsed again in the changing rooms and had to be resuscitated before being taken to hospital.
Sevilla’s Champions League Qualifier against AEK Athens, scheduled to kick off just a few hours ago, has been postponed. Friday’s European Super Cup match with AC Milan will take place as scheduled.
Eye-contact, that is. It’s been a tough week for Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho), shown above, right, with an unidentified friend. While the Idaho Statesman reports the gospel-loving public servant has long been dogged by charges of homosexual trysts in public restrooms, one of his former constituents has come to his defense.
Writes Tim Cook, “Surely there must be more successful, alternative methods of obtaining random ass?” adding, “Sen. Craig is said to have a difficult time keeping his feet within the boundary of his restroom stall in the Minneapolis airport. I’m sympathetic to Craig here as I know exactly what it is to panic about missing a flight.”
Mets prospect Scott Schafer created a slight buzz in the blogosphere in June of ‘06 when his typical teenager’s MySpace profile had both the ballclub and a certain blowhard agent going into scolding overdrive. Courtesy Cyclones Nation, we now learn that Schafer has been having additional troubles with the overzealous Florida police.
St. Lucie County deputies clocked Scott Alan Schafer, 19, of Texas, driving his Hummer 69 miles-per-hour in a 45 mile-per-hour zone on Okeechobee Road at around 1 a.m. Sunday morning, an arrest report said.Asked if he knew why he was pulled over, Schafer said he “was doing close to 80 miles per hour,” the report said.
Deputies said his speech was mumbled, his eyes bloodshot and watery and he smelled of alcohol, according to the report.
Schafer declined to take a breath test. After performing several field sobriety tests, he was transported to the St. Lucie County Jail and his car was towed, the report said.
I’m sure Schafer has his apologists (well, other than the girl who got dumped before the prom) and while they’re entitled to their screwy opinions, they might wanna consider the following : any irresponsible 19 year old with a twisted sense of entitlement can manage to get pulled over in St. Luice. But it takes a genuine adult, with decades of quality decision-making under his belt, to somehow acquire a pair of speeding tickets in less than 20 minutes.
Perhaps Eddie always wanted to explore Sweden’s Dalarna region? From TSN :
The 42-year-old netminder Eddie Belfour signed on with Swedish club Leksands IF on Monday.
Belfour went 27-17-10 with a 2.77 goals-against average for the Florida Panthers last season.
Belfour is also a five-time All-Star, with 484 career wins, a 2.50 GAA and 76 shutouts in 963 games with Florida, Chicago (1988-96), San Jose (1996-97), Dallas (1997-2002) and Toronto (2002-06).
Hopefully, one of our Swedish readers can fill us in on what sort of bouncer hassles Belfour is likely to face in his new place of residence.
I’d rather be in Philadelphia, which is convenient, since I am.
The Phillies-Mets game didn’t waste time being entertaining, as Charlie Manuel got booted on the game’s first play, a Jimmy Rollins “groundout.” Luis Castillo made a terrific grab and bounced a throw to first; the ball had not yet risen from the dirt when Rollins hit the bag, but Joe West was still in line for cheeseteaks up at Tony Luke’s and blew the call (I say this having seen the replay the several times).
And something else I never thought I’d see – the whole crowd going nuts for Pat Burrell, who hit the two-run homer that has made it 3-0 Phillies in the middle of the fourth. It’s so easy to regain this city’s love: According to the ‘ game notes, Burrell is second in the NL in batting average dating back to July 2 (.362); as of tonight he joins Barry Bonds and Chipper Jones as the three active players with the most career home runs against the Mets (38).
This post will no doubt update several times.
Update: For example, Carlos Beltran just broke up J.D. Durbin’s perfect game with no outs in the fifth. Durbin has also set a career high for strikeouts with six.
Update 2: Beltran scored, and pitcher Brian Lawrence got himself an RBI to make it 3-2. But now let’s talk about cheesesteaks again.
It’s great that CBP has the real stuff (both Tony Luke’s and Rick’s), but I truly cannot fathom why hundreds of people wait in line to get ‘em. I mean, I’ve driven 30 miles out of the way to get to my favorite sausage pizza, and have also paid some 80 bucks in shipping to have Jim’s delivered overnight. But stand there for three innings? I got myself a slice of chicken parmesan from Peace A Pizza in 10 seconds, and it was actually quite good.
Meanwhile, it’s now 4-2: Utley has homered in his big return (above).
Update 3: It’s 5-2 Phils, but Jorge Sosa struck out Chris Coste with the bases loaded to end the sixth. On strike 1, Coste’s follow-through sent his bat flying into the arms of a first-row photographer. “Can he keep it?,” you could see the usher asking. The answer was no, prompting a nearby child to throw up his arms, apparently outraged that a player would want his fully intact bat returned to him for the next pitch.
Update 4: Utley added a double and it’s 6-2. And since there’s no way I’m walking two levels and 20 sections for a photo (plus my cell phone camera sucks), let me tell you about my favorite sign, an old-fashioned bedsheet-with-block-letters reading “GENERIC FAN GROUP” – a much-deserved dig at all the cheering sections (”Sal’s Pals,” “Howard’s Homers, “The Coste Guard”) that have sprouted since the Wolf Pack.
Update 5: It’s 9-2, with Tad Iguchi (who still draws a press corps of at least a half a dozen) chipping in a pinch-hit two-run homer. His teammates greet him in the dugout with mock-solemn Japanese bows. Utley is a triple short of hitting for the cycle and the Phillies now have 17 hits.
Sorry, as I know a lot of Mets fans read this blog, but I’m especially pleased that one guy in particular will be unhappy with this game – the one two spots in front of me at the Starbucks in the Walt Whitman rest stop on the Turnpike. For some reason he insisted on waiting for the coffee to “finish brewing,” a request that not only seems unnecessary (doesn’t his home coffeemaker have a “pause and serve?”) but confounded the counter girl so much that she had to pour and dump two cups.
Oh, and for some reason, in addition to Mr. Met, Brutus Buckeye is here (along with the Michigan State, Western Kentucky, University of Nebraska, San Antonio Spurs, Miami Hurricanes and Baltimore Orioles mascots). Actually, I think I rode an elevator with them in their street clothes.
Phinal Phillies Update (while the Mets fans talk amongst themselves down in the comments): Jayson Werth is 9-for-9 with a BB over the last two days, a modern club record.
As public apologies go, it wasn’t quite Vince Coleman saying he wanted to be friends with the children he nearly maimed with fireworks, but that doesn’t mean things went smoothly, either. While we’ve heard noting about Michael Vick’s plea deal with the federal goverment giving him immunity from state or local prosecution, Pro Football Talk poses the logical question, what exactly are the QB’s lawyers thinking?
Vick is still facing possible criminal prosecutions in Virginia, North Carolina, and South Carolina for dog fighting. Though the statement of facts that Vick signed on Thursday likely gives competent prosecutors enough ammo to put him away, anything else Vick says can and will be used against him, and could make getting multiple convictions easier.
The fact that Vick’s legal team allowed him to speak extemporaneously (thanks, Tiki) without a single note or quote is amazing to us. The man is in dire legal jeopardy in a total of four jurisdictions; nothing good can come out of saying anything publicly for now.
Germaine Greer (above), author of “The Female Eunuch” and With Leather contributor noted academic weighs in on the modern phenomena of cute, huggable toys, declaring that such “ugly monstrosities” are “are truly hideous, beyond kitsch.”
“By making our children fall in love with such ugliness,” writes Greer in the Guardian, “we are preparing them for a life without taste.” I guess she won’t be sending any business Merle Allin’s way, then.
Art long ago capitulated to the ubiquity of the doll; Marisol, Kokoschka and Hans Bellmer are three among dozens of elaborators of the doll motif in all its creepiness. And Paula Rego has dared to address the ghastliness of the animal-human chimera that is the first love object and inseparable companion of so many of our children. In The Shakespeare Room, of 2005, the artist’s lookalike sits surrounded by abandoned toy monkeys; another lies stiffly as if dead across her lap while she thrusts an outsize pistol into the face of another. It can only be a matter of time before someone mounts an exhibition of violated and dismembered teddy bears.
Though it is 50 years since Elvis warbled about wanting to be someone’s teddy bear, most people would reject out of hand the suggestion that a child’s cuddly animal was its surrogate sexual partner. But I have certainly seen a two-year-old humping her teddy bear. If we persist in decoying children away from demanding relationships with humans by providing them with undemanding animal fetish objects, we should not be surprised if they end up like Big Brother housemate Jonty Stern, who, at the age of 36, is still a virgin, has more than 50 soft toys and thinks farting is amusing. When he was in the house, he kissed and cuddled his soft toy ape, called Monkety Tunkety, before miming sexual intercourse with it. Enough, already.
Tied for last place in the National League Central with about a month left in the regular season, the Astros fired general manager Tim Purpura and manager Phil Garner this afternoon.
Astros owner Drayton McLane named president of baseball operations Tal Smith as interim general manager and bench coach Cecil Cooper (above) as interim manager. McLane wants to name a permanent general manager by the end of the season.
Cooper, 57, is the first African-American manager in Astros’ history. He is in his third year as bench coach and has experience a minor league manager and major league bench coach following a stellar 17-year playing career with the Boston Red Sox and Milwaukee Brewers.
“We have the talent,” Cooper said. “It’s just a matter of us going out and playing like we’re supposed to, and believe me we will.”
McLane said he wouldn’t consider bringing back former Astros general manager Gerry Hunsicker, who’s working for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Astros assistant general managers Ricky Bennett and David Gottfried will be given considering, but Tal Smith said his son Randy will not be in the mix to replace Purpura.
Purpura has been widely criticized this season for trading young pitchers Jason Hirsh and Taylor Buchholz and outfielder Willy Taveras to Colorado for righthander Jason Jennings, who had been dealing with elbow issues. Jennings won two games and is out for the rest of the year with an elbow injury.Purpura also failed to sign the club’s third- and fourth-round draft picks this year, leaving them without a signed player in the first four rounds. They lost their first- and second-round picks after signing Carlos Lee and Woody Williams to free agency.
While Crawfish Boxes’ Stro Bro suspects Garner being booed during yesterday’s Jeff Bagwell jersey retirement ceremonies influenced McLane’s decision, Astros Dugout’s Lisa Gray has raised the terrifying specter of Steve Phillips becoming the new Houston GM. Unsurprisingly, Phillips has not offered to tender his resignation from ESPN if his recent prediction that neither the Mets or Yankees would make the postseason turns out to be correct.
While I’m still wondering what Saturday’s absence of Billy Pittman will have on Texas’ chances of hanging a 70 spot on Arkansas State, there’s no shortage of internet yuck-yuck going down over Florida RB Chris Rainey’s recent declaration, “I’m a white girl man”.
Whether or not such frank commentary will turn Rainey into a punchline, folk hero or some combination of both, remains to be seen. But given the nature of student journalism, isn’t there at least a slight chance the freshman was misquoted, and was merely vouching for the quality of the box office smash pictured above?
“Sure, Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry has a $25 million contract and a base monthly salary approaching $50,000, but that kind of bill can still crimp your style when you’re accustomed to expensive cars and fancy jewelry — and lots of other child support payments.” writes the Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s Ty Tagami. Or as David Roth put it, “Touches, it seems, are not and will not be a problem for King T. This could be the story that makes Mushnick’s beard fall out.”
Henry, 28, has fathered nine children by nine women in at least four Southern states and has been ordered by various judges to provide child support for seven of them, according to court records involving one child living in DeKalb County.DeKalb Superior Court Judge Clarence Seeliger this week ordered Henry to provide $3,000 a month for the Lithonia boy he fathered out of wedlock three years ago with Jameshia Beacham, now 29.
Henry isn’t the most thrifty guy, according to court records, so the judge wants to ensure payment by establishing an unusual $250,000 trust that Henry must fund by next spring.
Seeliger wrote that the football player displayed “bad judgment in his spending habits,” dropping $100,000 for a car and $146,000 for jewelry. Meanwhile, Henry fell behind on support payments for his child with Beacham that were mandated by a previous order. Threatened with jail, he borrowed $9,800 from his former team, the Tennessee Titans, to pay the bill, according to court records.
His lawyer, Shiel Edlin, said that to his knowledge the trust would be without precedent in Georgia. A quarter-million dollars is a lot of money, even for Henry, Edlin said. “He has some concerns and he’s weighing his options.”
Beacham could not be reached for comment. Her lawyer, Robert Wellon, said he asked that the trust be set up because Henry rarely made the payments mandated by an earlier order, though they were $800 less a month. Wellon said there was testimony establishing that Henry received a $1 million bonus earlier this year but quickly spent most of it, buying, among other things, a Mercedes and gold jewelry.
“My argument was, if he makes wise investments, other than in gold chains, then he should be able to make the payments,” Wellon said.
In reality, I’m not that great a writer, nor that masterful a prose stylist. But compared to the rest of these mental midgets that masquerade as football writers in this country, I’m Dr. Wolfgang Von Bushwickin the Barbarian Mother Funky Stay High Dollar Bill Shakespeare.
And as for my ESPN career — let’s just, for today, pretend that the last 12 years never really happened. I mean, even I have some kind of shame.
Not only did I miss Summerslam last night, but I also bailed on a unique opportunity to watch the matches in the company of a former superstar in what can only be described as a very unique setting.
Just a quick reminder for those of you in the Atlanta area: I will be at the Hooters at 795 Holcomb Bridge Rd, Roswell, GA (770) 992-4540 tonight for the WWE PPV, Summerslam (I will be the one staring at the girl with the biggest boobs (yeah, right. LOL)). They are located exactly 1 mile West off of exit 7B of Georgia 400. It is on the left in a strip mall with Dunkin Donuts. Hope to see you there.
Perhaps the only thing standing in the way of chess becoming a cable sports fixture to rival poker or UFC is the lack of an articulate, provocative commentator who could put the game’s strategies and personalities into some broader context.
Actually, the community leader in this instance is yours truly. I’m representing the community of those who were thoroughly unimpressed with New Era’s questionable decision to flog Yankee caps featuring prominent gang motifs. So America’s most beloved peddler of baseball caps (with designs that’ll be obsolete in 15 minutes) wants to exploit genuine gangsterism and cash in on teen anxiety. Why should the recording industry have all the fun?
However, when New Era markets to impressionable kids with styles like the one shown above, I think we can all agree the very fabric of our free society is crumbling. I’m too lazy to organize a protest march, but I’m not too tired to try and get my name in the newspaper. Sometime between lunch and dinner, I intend to come up with a name for my new pressure group, and I sincerely hope I can count on your support, if not paypal donations.
Unless a pennant contender develops a sudden need for a DH in the 4 days, there’s every possibility Mike Piazza will conclude his big league career with the very out-of-it A’s next month. The Hall of Fame bound Dream Theatre aficionado looked back on a glorious run (well, some of it) with Nick Cafardo in Sunday’s Boston Globe. (link swiped from Repoz and Baseball Think Factory)
Any regrets about anything?
MP: “That’s a good question. I really don’t. I’ve had a unique career. Getting traded from LA to Florida when Fox bought the Dodgers and that contemptuous sort of [contract] standoff we had was tough. Looking back, it built a lot of character for me. Your life sometimes is like muddy water and you have to wait for things to settle so you can see clear. Looking back, I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world. I remember Jim Leyland took me into his office and he said, ‘Let me tell you. You’re going through a tough time now but you’re going to get paid. You earned it. You worked hard for it. It’s obviously not going to be here. Just keep yourself in shape. We’re going to get you somewhere where you need to go.’ That was an experience I wouldn’t trade in.”
You know what I’m going to ask. You and Roger Clemens. Hitting you in the head in 2000. Throwing the splintered bat at you in Game 2 of the 2000 World Series. Did you guys ever patch that up?
MP: “We’re just different people, I guess. I don’t carry a resentment or anything like that. Someone made a comment to me the other day in Canada that, ‘With all your accomplishments, you’re going to be remembered for that.’ Are you that shallow that you only remember me for that? If that’s true, then you’re too stupid and I can’t help you. I don’t look back in any sort of regret. He’s who he is, I am who I am, we’re two different people, but we’re both very competitive and strong-willed. He does his own thing and he’s had a very successful career. I’m sure we can coexist in the future in some way, shape, or form.”
It isn’t that I have any great quarrel with Olbermann’s take on this topic, but if his editorials are gonna rip off Stephon Marbury every week, NBC isn’t getting their money’s worth.
Mr. Rooney vented his ire on Thursday about baseball, which he said he had never liked. Amid complaints about the game’s rules, types of statistics and the dominance of thehe seized upon the prevalence of Latin American players in the United States.
“I know all about Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig, but today’s baseball stars are all guys named Rodriguez to me,” Mr. Rooney wrote in the second paragraph of the column, which appeared in The Stamford Times of Stamford, Conn. “They’re apparently very good but they haven’t caught my interest.”
“Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have said it,” Mr. Rooney, 88, said when reached by telephone on Friday afternoon. He added that although he regretted the comment, he doubted he would apologize for it in a subsequent column. “It’s a name that seems common in baseball now. I certainly didn’t think of it in any derogatory sense.”
He added, “That’s what I do for a living, I write columns and have opinions, and some of them are pretty stupid.”
At present, there are 9 players named Rodriguez on MLB rosters. That’s compared to 10 players with the last name Johnson.
To call KVET’s Gregg Henson (above) an aggressively untalented radio host would be a tad diplomatic. In fact, his sub-Morning Zoo yackfests, as previously heard on KZNX, are enough to make Ben Maller sound like David Brinkley by comparison.
Henson’s bounced around from one radio gig to another, inexplicably turning up as program director at Clear Channel’s Austin sports station shortly after stinking up the evening drive slot on their crosstown competitor. It’s fair to say his former listeners in Philadelphia — the few who recall his name, anyway, aren’t wishing him well in future endeavors. Of Henson’s tenure at Philadelphia’s WPEN, 700 Level’s Matt P writes, “his annoying laugh, his above-the-world pomposity, his berating of anyone who disagreed with his unfounded and subjective points, and his overall lack of actual sports knowledge, both in Philly and on the national level, made 950 a non-option during the morning drive.”
Apparently Henson didn’t last long back in Detroit, and he’s now returned to Texas to work the drive home on the Longhorns’ flagship station, 1300 AM. And as you might imagine, the Longhorn fans are already trying to hook him. Henson himself thinks the show is taking off, but oddly, he “can’t believe there are that many people out there who want to talk sports.” Um, then why base your entire career on that “phenomenon”?
(ok, maybe Haino and stock cars are a weird fit. But that didn’t stop Juan Pablo Montoya)
The New York Times’ Viv Bernstein reports on a pair o National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health studies that conclude NASCAR’s noise levels are “hazardous not only for fans, but also for drivers, crew members and everyone else who spends time at a racetrack.”
A co-author of the studies, Dr. Luann E. Van Campen, said Niosh viewed Bristol as a worst-case situation for noise because of the bowl-like stadium track surrounded by stands that rise 21 stories. Chemical and noise exposures were measured at Bristol Motor Speedway and at an undisclosed race team shop. The study found chemical exposure to be low but noise exposure high.
“Employees involved in stock car racing are routinely exposed to extreme levels of noise, and auditory damage will ensue eventually,” according to the report’s conclusion. “More immediate concerns include the occupational risks posed by possible noise-induced fatigue, stress and miscommunication.”
Chucri A. Kardous, a Niosh engineer and a co-author of the studies, said the noise level of 43 cars during a race was “equivalent to a jet engine”.
Nascar could use mufflers to reduce the noise during races.
“That’s the primary source of the noise, so obviously, that would be the top recommendation if we could make it,” Kardous said.
But Nascar spokesman Jim Hunter said the organization tried mufflers in the 1960s and that they did not have a significant effect on decibel levels. Besides, it would be a hard sell for fans like Josh Whitt, 28, who watched practice Friday without any hearing protection even though he had a headset in his backpack.
“You know you should do it, but it takes away from it a little bit,” he said.
“Just bring a lot of Goody’s headache powder. Never leave home without that.”
There’s been no comment yet from Bill Giles, but I’m counting on the club’s minority owner to challenge the veracity of the above recording, while stressing this was just Myers’ way of kidding around.
Truly a ridiculous way to dress up for a Diamondbacks game. But enough about the guy in the Cubs tee. Of the fellow on the left, Thom Brennaman opined, “it looks like Gene Simmons has gained some weight.” Apparently, Thom doesn’t watch the A&E Channel.
While Arizona’s Chris Young has homered off Jason Marquis twice, with the Snakes leading, 5-4, in the top of the third, I cannot discount the possibility the God Of Thunder prefered to take in a game between two postseason hopefuls rather than hit up close pal Dale Torborg for White Sox tickets. The Demon’s Southsiders lost to the Red Sox for the fourth day in a row, with Boston outscoring their hosts, 46-7, over the course of the series. Said result, coupled with the Yankees’ 5-4 loss in Detroit, increases Boston’s AL East lead to 7 1/2. Hands up, anyone who thought a division was winnable with Julian Tavarez starting 25 games or more.
Though The Starting Five’s dwil reserves most of his Sunday critique for Page 2’s Jemele Hill and her remarks on “Outside The Lines”, he wasn’t exactly enarmored with the rest of the Sunday chat lineup, either.
Howard Bryant (above), he of a brutally uninformed and factually-challenged book on steroids and baseball and Barry Bonds, said he didn’t know if this dog fighting thing was “racial, regional, or what.”
I wonder what the white people in Wyoming and Idaho are thinking about Bryant and his cohort Mike Lupica, who wholly agreed with Bryant, today. I wonder if they’re laughing all the way to the ———– dog fighting pit. And I wonder why PETA and the Humane Society aren’t in those states protesting en masse the law that makes dog fighting a misdemeanor instead of a felony in those states…. hmmmm.
It’s a pretty good question. But if I’m DMX, I’m wondering where I’m gonna find any decent Indian food in Wyoming or Idaho.
Though Charles Oakley (shown slapping Scottie Pippen around, above) is unlikely to recant his earlier promise that he “won’t be coming back cheap”), the noted Jordan wingman / car wash magnate tells the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s Branson Wright, “my presence and teaching [the players] how to play better defense,” could be just what LeBron’s Cavs need to measure up against a Western Conference foe.
Oakley, a 6-9 power forward and center, said the Cavs could have used his knowledge and skills in the finals against the Spurs, who dominated the inside with Tim Duncan and with uncontested drives by guard Tony Parker. The no-nonsense Oakley, rumored to have smacked around a few players off the court, would not have any of that.
“They lost to San Antonio because guys didn’t know the next step on defense,” said Oakley, whom the Cavs drafted in 1985. “The Cavs are not a good help defensive team. . . . When I come back, I’m going to bring an attitude. I’m not coming back just to be on a team. I’m going to come back and go all out.”
Johnny Clark, who was the assistant player development/shooting coach when Oakley was with the Toronto Raptors, said LeBron James would benefit from Oakley’s presence just as Vince Carter did several years ago. Back then, Carter was fearless when he went inside for monster dunks. Carter knew who had his back if he was on the other end of a hard foul.
“Other teams need to know that a superstar has a teammate who will step up in their chest if the superstar gets knocked down or receives a hard foul,” Clark said. “LeBron would definitely have that with Oakley as a teammate.”
Oakley said he is still in great shape. “I run three miles per day, lift weights, take shots in the gym and I still play,” Oakley said. “Everyone’s going to get old, it just comes down to how did you take care of your body and I’ve taken care of myself. I guarantee, if I get into someone’s training camp, I’ll end camp as one of the top eight players. It just comes down to if you want to deal with me.”
