10.31.07
Manny : Violating Halloween Etiquette / Risking A Dusting Off From The Great Pumpkin
The Manny-O-Lantern, link courtesy Maura Johnston. Not the scariest thing I’ve ever seen, but quality work nonetheless.
Detroit’s Kitna : Funnier Than Linklater’s “Fast Food Nation”
The Detroit Free Press’ Carlos Monarrez on John Kitna’s ok-sense-of-humor-for-a-concussion-victim.
Lions quarterback Jon Kitna said his choice to dress up at a Halloween party like assistant coach Joe Cullen was intended as a good-natured send up and part of the ribbing that is common in NFL locker rooms.
Kitna, a notorious prankster, said he merely was trying to win a costume contest at charity party in Plymouth held by receiver Mike Furrey on Monday. Kitna came dressed in a naked costume as Cullen, who was arrested and charged in the summer of 2006 with obscene conduct and drunken driving in separate incidents in Dearborn.
“People who understand an NFL locker room understand that when guys do things we joke with each other a lot,” Kitna said. “Now, would I have done it last year? No. I think it would have been too close to when the situation happened.”
Monarrez’ killjoy colleague Drew Sharp, though hardly amused (”Kitna crossed the line this time and owes Cullen an apology, if for nothing else but for pushing that embarrassing evening back to the forefront of local consciousness”) is quick to point out the Lions have a history of hot Halloween getups.
Scott Mitchell made headlines 10 years ago when he appeared at a team party masquerading as Wayne Fontes. Mitchell was in full Big Buck regalia. He had a cigar protruding from his mouth as well as some padded girth protruding from his belt. The coup de grace was the Mickey Mouse ears.
Seattle’s Cosmopolitans Continue To Bait A Rich Oklahoman
From Supersonicsoul.com. Hey, if it’s any consolation, a Danny Fortson mask for trick-or-treating in Oklahoma City would probably go over poorly, too.
Cameron : Stimulants Yes, Steroids No
Hey, at least he didn’t blame his impersonator. From the San Diego Union Tribune’s Tom Krasovic.
Padres center fielder Mike Cameron beat Major League Baseball to the punch Wednesday morning when he announced on the club’s flagship radio station that he was suspended for the first 25 games next season for testing positive a second time for a banned stimulant.
The commissioner’s office planned on releasing the news Wednesday afternoon; a few hours earlier, Cameron told AM 1090 that he believes he took a tainted supplement.
“The one thing I wanted to make sure was explained is, no steroids,” said Cameron, who plans to file for free agency within two weeks. “I never took nothing like that before in my life. That would be 50 games, and that would affect me a whole lot more.”
Cameron issued a statement through his agent, saying doctors for the union helped him narrow down what triggered the positive test
“After all of the analysis and testing, I can only conclude that a nutritional supplement I was taking was tainted,” he said. “Unfortunately, the actual supplement is gone, and therefore cannot be tested. Without the actual supplement in hand, the rules are clear, and I must accept the suspension.
These union doctors sound terrific. Perhaps they could come in handy before the questionable substances are procured, too?
Jose Offerman Legal Status Update
While we eagerly await a reformed Stickmen With Ray Guns’ rendition of “Christian Bat Attack”, Jose Offerman has proven — like O.J. Simpson and Claus Von Bulow before him, there’s one justice for celebrities and another for….uh….people who aren’t celebrities. From the Connecticut Post’s Daniel Tepfer (link courtesy Hot Foot and Nate Dog) :
Former Red Sox All-Star Jose Offerman was granted a special form of probation this morning for attacking two Bridgeport Bluefish players with a bat during an August game.”I’m real sorry for what happened and I would like to apologize to all the fans that were at the stadium that day, especially the children,” a somber Offerman said as he left the Golden Hill Street courthouse with his lawyer, Frank Riccio Jr.
“I’m real sorry for all this,” he added.
Superior Court Judge James Ginocchio granted Offerman, an infielder with the Long Island Ducks at the time of the incident, accelerated rehabilitation on two counts of second-degree assault.
Although Offerman was suspended indefinitely from the Atlantic League after the incident, Riccio told the judge that league Executive Director Joe Klein has offered to allow Offerman to return.
“I’m real sorry for what happened,” Offerman told the judge. “I embarrassed the game I love and I wish I could take it all back.”
Assistant State’s Attorney Brian Kennedy objected to Offerman being granted accelerated rehabilitation, saying the crime was too serious.
“Mr. Nathans’ season ended with that game and he is still suffering from his injury, a significant injury,” he said.
Highlights From Tuesday’s “Tonight Show”
a) Leno looks terrible!
b) someone should tell Ron Paul that Halloween or not, he’ll never win the Republican Nomination going on TV dressed up as Siouxsie Sioux.
c) “go on, say something shocking”? Has NBC learned nothing from their experiences with Chris Hansen?
Cowherd Looks In Mirror, Sees Kobe Staring Back
Kobe Bryant was booed early and often at the Staples Center last night, en route to pouring in 45 points in the Lakers’ 95-93 opening night loss to Houston. “”I understand where they’re coming from,” Bryant told the LA Times’ Mike Bresnahan. “They didn’t really understand the whole situation because I’m keeping my mouth shut like I should.”
I’m not sure what part of visiting 3 talk radio shows in one June afternoon constitutes “keeping my mouth shut”, but perhaps Kobe has a different way of defining things. Like, consensual sex.
ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd, a morning host generally disinclined to give a hoot about an NBA regular season game, was apoplectic Wednesday about Bryant’s ill-treatement.
“Some people don’t understand sacrifice,” muttered Cowherd. “They don’t have any idea what it takes to be the very best. When someone is the best at what they do, they deserve support.”
“I admire people who are the best at what they do,” continued Cowherd. “I don’t sympathize with management. I’m on the side of the guy who is the best at his job. If you’ve proven you can be a great mortgage broker at more than one company, I’m on your side. If you’re the best chemical salesman, I’m on your side.”
Perhaps unmoved by Cowherd’s comparison of the NBA’s best player to a chemical salesman, one caller opined that Bryant was unworthy of fan support “because he can have any woman he wants. He doesn’t have to rape someone.”
“Dude,” scolded Cowherd, “he was never convicted. You sound like you’re twelve.”
Around the time Cowherd began yelling about Larry Bird and Dr. J. having fathered children out of wedlock, I’d heard enough. Is it a wild reach to presume that Cowherd — his pinhead having failed to puncture the glass ceiling at the WWL — sees just a little of himself in Kobe Bryant? That the morning motormouth considers his post-dawn meanderings the broadcasting equivalent of dropping 81 points on the Raptors?
Paunchy, 40-something Blogger Wants To Play For The Mets
Hey, get in line! Curt Schilling on the campaign trail via 38 Pitches (link swiped from Mets Blog, h.t. Jordan Davis).
The list of teams that our family has talked over, that we think would be a fit for next year, should we not come back, are pretty much teams in cities we agree would be ok for our last year, and teams I think have a legitimate shot at being in the post season and/or World Series. Teams we didn’t include aren’t for any one reason. There are a million little things that go into this from stadiums to school districts to travel to spring training to etc. etc. etc. but the list represents the teams after Boston that have some of the off the field things that are big to us, plus the potential to go into October next year.Cleveland, Detroit, Anaheim, New York Mets, Philadelphia, Atlanta, L.A., S.D., Arizona, Chicago Cubs, St. Louis, Milwaukee.
That really narrows it down, Curt. Though given Mike Hampton’s endorsement of the Denver public schools, I’m surprised the defending National League champs didn’t receive some acknowledgement.
10.30.07
NBA Opening Night : Aldridge Gives Portland Something To Dream About
While this was most assuredly San Antonio’s coronation ceremony — and a typically clinical display by the defending champs —- please note the newly extended Tim Duncan was outscored by Portland sophmore F LaMarcus Aldridge (27 points on 12 of 19 shooting). OK, Aldridge isn’t nearly Duncan’s caliber on the defensive end, but the former Longhorn is showing the kind of poise that should make Portland relevant again, when and if Aldridge is paired with Greg Oden. Joel Pryzbilla pulled down 10 rebounds for the visitors, and TNT showed considerable restraint in waiting until the game was half finished before harrassing Eva Longoria.
Most importantly, the new Flash/Chuckster T-Mobile ad celebrates the sort of time-tested casual homophobia that’s sorely lacking from ESPN’s new RV spots. If you thought Jason Kidd and ‘Melo looked pained while listening to Stephen A., one can only imagine how they’d react to his latest Hard Wood column.
The Real Key To Newark’s Urban Revival – Tony Meola
While the former Metro Stars prepare for the 2nd leg of their Eastern Conference playoff with New England, another old Meadowlands fixture Tony Meola continues to ply his goalkeeping trade, far from the prying eyes of the global media. Kind of like his old MLS club, really. From MISL.net :
Tony Meola returned to indoor soccer for the first time since he played with the Buffalo Blizzard in the 1994-95 season. The US National Team veteran played the entire game in goal this past weekend for New Jersey, recording ten saves in a 7-4 win over the expansion Orlando Sharks. The Kearny, NJ native surrendered two goals (four points) and withstood a flurry of Orlando shots in the final two minutes to preserve the first-ever win for the expansion Ironmen.
At 3:40pm Pacific Standard Time, Kobe Is Still A Laker
…though if it meant avoiding further questions from Elie Seckbach, he might accept a trade to Chicago, even if the Bulls turned over their entire roster to get him.
Klapisch Is David Wright’s Text Pest
(Vito, right is sad to see A-Rod go, but he’ll still be meeting you at the Giant Bat).
Mindful of David Wright’s earlier pledge to switch positions, the Bergen Record’s Bob Klapisch wasted little time after A-Rod’s opting out of his Yankee deal to pester the Mets third baseman.
“Nobody has talked to me about any free agents,” Wright wrote in a text message. “I would want to speak with Jeff [Wilpon] and Omar [Minaya] first.”Of course, there’s no guarantee A-Rod would sign with the Mets, even if Wright moved to, say, second base. Could the Wilpon family write a big enough check? Apparently so. With free agents Tom Glavine ($10.5 million), Shawn Green ($3.7 million), Paul Lo Duca ($6.25 million) and Jose Valentin ($3.8 million) all likely to come off the books, Rodriguez’s asking price of $30-something million isn’t quite so prohibitive.
“We can afford him,” one Met insider said confidently. “It’s going to be a baseball question more than a money question. Do we want him? Is he a good fit for one team? That’s what we have to talk about.”
Wright seemed to feel Rodriguez was a perfect match — and that was before A-Rod blasted through the greatest regular season of the last 50 years. Putting aside his insatiable appetite for money and ruthless negotiating tactics, the Mets ultimately will have to decide if A-Rod’s 50-plus homers and 150 RBI are worth the tidal wave of controversy that would follow him into the clubhouse.
What remains to be seen is whether the Mets’ interest would tempt the Yankees to reenter negotiations. It’s hard to know who’s bluffing and who’s not. Friends of Rodriguez believe he would have a sincere interest in playing for the Mets – at the right price, of course – regardless of how it would damage his Yankee legacy. It’s worth noting that Rodriguez was house-hunting in Greenwich, Conn., in the last few months, and the idea of staying in New York was seconded by his wife, Cynthia.
The other issue is where Wright actually would play. Second base is the obvious choice, but there’s nothing that says he could learn the position quickly, if at all. And the wear and tear of turning double plays also might factor into the Mets’ thinking.
And then there’s the dark cloud that seems to dog Rodriguez wherever he goes. You can now count the Yankees as part of the anti-A-Rod army. Despite general manager Brian Cashman’s graciously worded statement that bid farewell to the third baseman, the organization’s truer feelings were reflected in the comments of one high-ranking official, who was disgusted at the timing of Rodriguez’s opt-out on Sunday.
Not only did the announcement upstage the World Series, but, as the official said: “He had [agent Scott] Boras tell the media before he told us. That’s not right.”
Asked if the Yankees would use the 15-day window during which they can negotiate exclusively with Rodriguez, the executive said: “No chance. Absolutely none. We’re done with him. He’ll never play here again”
Granted, A-Rod would only have 81 games at Shea before the park’s closing, but given the park’s dimensions, 50/150 seems wildly optimistic, even for a hitter of Rodriguez’ talents.
Plaschke Damns Dodgers’ Diss Of Grady
“If the Dodgers have an opportunity to hire future Hall of Fame manager Joe Torre, as several sources indicated Monday, they must do it,” writes the LA Times’ Bill Plaschke. “But why couldn’t they have done it 13 days ago when Torre initially walked away from the New York Yankees?” Because they wanted to make certain Joe Girardi was unavailable first? Wally Backman? Tony Perez?
Maybe hiding out for two weeks works in the governmental world from which McCourt’s top advisors hail. But in the more transparent world of sports, silence cracks foundations and creates doubt.
For two weeks, General Manager Ned Colletti (above, left) has been telephoned with questions about the Dodgers’ managerial situation. For two weeks, he has refused to even return the calls, effectively ending Grady Little’s career here while once again exposing his club’s philosophies as so much hot air.
During the lockdown, one recalled a recent interview with McCourt in which he talked about the Dodgers foundation.
“It’s built on hard work, trust, integrity, respect, and it’s built on unselfishness, teamwork and so forth,” he said.
By my calculations, in their treatment of Little, their values batting average is .167.
Amazing, isn’t it? All those paragraphs and not one negative reference to Paul De Podesta.
Wally Matthews Pleads With Wilpon Inc. : Keep A-Rod In New York
As Repoz at Baseball Think Factory has aleady noted, Newday’s Wallace Matthews is riding Gotham Baseball’s jock. Though it took the print journalist to come up with gratuitous swipes at Lastings Milledge and Bobby Valentine (!) while claiming, “one general manager’s 24-and-1 guy could just as easily be another’s 54-and-156 guy.”
In the seven years since they passed on A-Rod, a lot has changed around the Mets. They have gotten a little better on the field and they have gotten a lot more tolerant in the clubhouse toward the concept of the 24-and-1 guy, hence Pedro Martinez. Then there’s Tom Glavine. 23-and-1. Jose Reyes. 22-and-1. Lastings Milledge. You get the idea.
Think of how easy a transition this would be. Rodriguez could hold on to his apartment in Manhattan. He still could sunbathe in the park. (Flushing Meadow, not Central.) The Mets, having learned from past mistakes, could offer Alex and Cynthia their own reality show on SNY. (Anna Benson is going to be sooooo jealous!) And just like that, all those unsold luxury boxes and season subscriptions to Citi Field will vanish like Carlos Delgado during “God Bless America.”
For the first time in their history, the Mets would have the best player in the game while he still was the best player in the game. For the first time in their history, they could sign a free agent and watch him get better, not worse.
And for one of the few times in their history, the Mets’ lineup would have a hitter you would delay a trip to the rest.room to watch hit. Darryl Strawberry was that guy 20 years ago. A-Rod is that guy now.
Sure, they would have to rearrange some furniture — how about A-Rod to third, David Wright to first and Delgado to the American League as a DH? Or A-Rod back to short and Jose Reyes to Minnesota for Johan Santana? — but you’re adding a Ming vase here. You can lose an end table.
And before you start carping about A-Rod’s postseason performance or lack thereof, just remember that these are the Mets we’re talking about. Chances are there will be no postseason. Unless, of course, Rodriguez does for them what he did for the Yankees this year.
Incredibly, all it took was one poor 2nd half for the game’s most exciting player to turn into trade bait for Johan Santana. I can’t argue the latter wouldn’t be a better fit in the Mets rotation than say, Kyle Lohse, but he did give up 33 HR’s in 2007.
Baseball considerations aside, Rodriguez could be excused from tiring of the losing battle with the New York media. He’s unlikely to find a move to Flushing any less pressure packed — keep in mind the Mets were the local team whose owner’s son felt compelled to offer a public apology for a 2nd place finish.
All Jaromir Jagr Wants For Halloween Is His Two Front Teeth
But if a goal and an assist in the Rangers’ 3-1 defeat of the Lightning isn’t enough, I’ll bet Jerome James has an awesome pudding recipe he can share.
10.29.07
G’Bye Grady? Torre, Mattingly Reportedly Headed To Chavez Ravine
After a few years stockpiling former Red Sox, has the Parking Lot Magnate decided to entrust his ballclub to a pair of very prominent Yankees? From the Journal News’ Peter Abraham (link courtesy Sean at Popjocks)
The Los Angeles Dodgers have decided to fire manager Grady Little and replace him with former Yankees manager Joe Torre, The Journal News has learned.Torre, 67, could be named manager as soon as tomorrow, according to two sources close to the situation. Don Mattingly is expected to accompany Torre to Los Angeles as his bench coach. Torre is also interested in hiring Kevin Long, his hitting coach with the Yankees.
The Dodgers were 82-80 this season under Little and were beset by clubhouse unrest. Owner Frank McCourt, a Boston native, decided Torre is best suited to quell that situation.
UPDATE : Tony Jackson of the LA Daily News was just on “SportsCenter” (1:20am EST), claiming one source had told him, “you’ll look like an idiot if you write this”. “I guess no one in New York is worried about that” mumbled Jackson. ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt followed up with Peter Abraham, who vouched for the credibilty of multiple sources “close to Joe Torre and Don Mattingly” that provided him with a considerable jump on the Southern California papers. Funnily enough, Jackson’s own paper quotes unnamed sources as claiming the Dodgers and Little are discussing a buyout.
Don’t Light A Match In Front Of Colleen Bellotti’s Mouth…
(our young kicking friend will have a club soda, thanks)
…or the room might explode. A few weeks back, The Oregonian’s John Canzano wrote of Ducks K Luke Bellotti’s two DUI’s, charges his dad’s football program had until then, successfully covered up “without raising so much as a murmer on campus.” (link courtesy The Big Lead)
Saturday night, towards the end of Oregon’s upset win over USC, Coach Mike Bellotti’s wife, Colleen, accosted Canzano in the UO press box.
She leaned in, grabbed by my suit lapel, and lit into me with a string of expletives, asking me if I have children, and telling me, “This is going to come back on you tenfold.” And she threatened to slap me, which was not such a nice example in front of the kiddies. I told it was poor form that she would approach me in the press box, with a strong smell of alcohol on her breath, hissing and spitting mad, talking to me about alcohol abuse.
There was a second small brush with Colleen near the elevator in which she stormed past me, and asked, “You got something to say to me?!?!” I said, “Are you going to slap me or not?”
She walked off, and said, “I’m a better person than you.”
She may be right. Or wrong.
I’ll agree, she’s got better hair.
If a subsequent blog post by Canzano is anything to go by, there’s some portion of the Eugene citizenry that prefer to blame the messenger.
The End Of The Blackhawks’ Blackout
(cheer up, Chicago hockey fans. Your love for Pat Sharp is no longer trapped in the closet)
Neatly deflecting attention from a 3 game losing streak, the Blackhawks dropped the following press release on a breathless populace earlier today :
The Chicago Blackhawks and Comcast SportsNet have announced that Comcast SportsNet will televise their first home game of the season on Sunday, November 11 when the Blackhawks play host to the archrival Detroit Red Wings at 6:00 p.m.
The November 11 game will be the first in a series of home games to be broadcast live and in high-definition on Comcast SportsNet. The full schedule will be released next week with additional home games airing throughout the remainder of the 2007-2008 season.
“It’s time to share the energy and excitement of the Blackhawks with all of our fans,” said Blackhawks Chairman W. Rockwell “Rocky” Wirtz. “We are entering a new era and putting home games back on TV is the first step to supporting our great players and fans.”
As the Sun-Times’ Len Ziehm explains, the November 11 telecast is of some historical importance.
Wirtz’s late father, Bill, the Hawks’ president for 41 years, was adamant in the belief that televising home games wouldn’t be fair to season-ticket holders. His stance became team policy, though an increasing number of staffers opposed it. For years the standard player/coach response was that the TV ban was a management decision, and they let it go at that.
”A player has a job to do — to perform on the ice,” alternate captain Martin Lapointe said. ”On the business side, guys don’t think about that.”
Some did, though.
”[The TV ban] does matter,” said Patrick Sharp, another alternate captain. ”You want exposure in your hometown. I’ve heard that there are thousands of secret fans just waiting to come out. Getting on TV will be a way of bringing them out.
The Difficult Task Of Re-Launching Basketball In Vancouver Without Bryant Reeves
I Hate The Raptors’ Coach Canada has tried very hard to imagine the circumstances under which an NBA franchise might return to Vancouver, British Columbia.
One – if the province fav son and 2 time NBA MVP Steve Nash play for the new Vancouver team . The Suns vs. Supersonics game lasFriday drew a sellout crowd of 17K plus. Awesome for a pre season game ! OK , OK .Nash may be too old once his contract with the Phoenix Suns is over. Not really . Ex Celtics great Bob Cousy, to which Nash’s game is often compared with , came out of retirement to play for a fledging Kansas City NBA team.
Two – if the numerous Chinese billionaires/milllionaires based in B.C. joined forces to bankroll the team. The new team won’t have no problem with money as income from the food sales alone will be huge. Knowing the Chinese , they will have pricey spring rolls and wanton soup in place of cheap hotdogs and Coke ! Who cares if they name the team the Hongkouver Dimsuns !
Three – if half of the roster is composed of members / or former members of the Chinese National team. Many enterprising tour agencies etc. will surely put a Vancouver basketball game attendance as part of their tours in the same way as seeing a live Ichiro /Seattle Mariners game a must for Japanese foreign students in TO. Then there is the non stop and ever increasing Chinese population in Vancouver, legal or otherwise ?
While the Chicago Tribune’s blogphobic Sam Smith has floated the possibilities of Kobe Bryant and Gilbert Arenas being exchanged (doubtful, I figure, given Kobe’s alledged preference to go to Chicago or Dallas and accompanying no-trade clause), New Orleans have sent David Wesley to New Jersey in exchange for Bernard Robinson and Mile Ilic. The Bergen Record’s Al Iannazzone describes Wesley as unlikely to report, while the Hornets are said to be ready to waive Ilic as soon as possible.
Chait in Slate: Charlie Weis is a Very Bad Coach
Jonathan Chait has written on many topics. He’s an opinion columnist for the Los Angeles Times, a solid inside-out critic of political media (his great 2002 story about imaginary biases and real biases is behind The New Republic’s subscriber-only firewall) (though you can still read Martin Peretz’s blog for free) (but you shouldn’t). He’s also the author of a well-received recent book about bad conservative economics. Add to that, via Slate, this new credit: he is pretty good at marshaling statistics that make Charlie Weis look like a terrible coach. Of course, almost anyone can do this — it’s easy — and much of the rest of his argument is grounded in the unprovable-if-not-unconvincing assertion that Weis has always been overrated because of his association with some Super Bowl winners in New England. Still, these numbers don’t get much less depressing the more often you read them:
Just how bad is Notre Dame? Of the 119 teams in Division I-A, ND is 119th in total offense, 119th in rushing offense, 112th in passing offense, and 118th in scoring. If Notre Dame had doubled its scoring output, it would still rank 108th. If it doubled its rushing output (currently 34 yards a game), it would barely eke out Duke for 118th place.
You get the point. I should stop now.
OK, one more. Notre Dame is averaging 1.09 yards per rush this year. The NCAA statistical archive goes back only to 1999. The worst yards per carry recorded in that period belongs to a 2001 University of Arizona squad that gained 1.46 yards per attempt. So, the worst rushing team recorded by the NCAA in the last nine years was still about one-third better than Notre Dame.
This is not merely bad. This is ineptitude on a staggering, world-historical scale. Such a performance would be prima facie evidence for firing the coach even at a doormat program like Indiana. At a school like Notre Dame, well … it’s simply impossible to describe how awful this performance is. It’s true that Notre Dame has suffered a dip in its talent level, attributable to poor recruiting by Weis’ predecessor Tyrone Willingham. But if you go by recruiting rankings, Charlie Weis still has as much or more talent on hand than most of the opponents who have been beating him soundly.
So, Weis is obviously not a great coach—no great coach has ever underperformed so grossly—and he may well be a terrible one.
Of course, no supposedly great coach had previously conquered stomach staples, either. And anyway, isn’t this just piling on? Why doesn’t anyone ever talk about college football’s more successful, and even more hugely obese, coaches?
Tom Lutz Fails Goes (Mildly) Nuts Over The Giants/Fins At Wembley
Showing a smidgeon more enthusiasm for the NFL’s grand experiment than the Star-Ledger’s Paul Needell-Of-Death (”the league couldn’t make sure the field was better equipped to handle rain yesterday? ‘Cause, you know, it does rain a bit in England”), the Guardian’s Tom Lutz contends, “it can’t be denied that it’s been a great show, if not a great game.”
As kick-off approaches, things aren’t going swimmingly in the stadium either. The Americans in the crowd spring to their feet as the Star Spangled Banner is played, the English rise a little more slowly with a few groans, although in their defence it must be the first time in Wembley’s history that a foreign national anthem isn’t booed. God Save the Queen doesn’t get a much better reception, perhaps because the guest singer is Paul Potts, the bloke with bad teeth who won Britain’s Got Talent.
But slowly, the crowd is won over. Anybody who’s ever seen an episode of Jerry Springer will know Americans cheer anything – a wife-beater, a punch-up, even an advert break. Anybody who’s ever seen The Jeremy Kyle Show will know that English fans take a bit more convincing before they roar their approval – an actual murder on air, perhaps. But today, the mainly English crowd cheer everything – the cheerleaders, the first tackle of the game, the appearance of Lewis Hamilton and John Terry (okay, maybe not John Terry), even The Feeling are given a warm reception and they don’t even play Sewn.
It’s all a bit strange. English fans don’t usually like all this showy stuff. Sky tried it when they first began broadcasting the Premier League and it was a disaster. Sulky 14-year-old cheerleaders take to the field before the game and jog up and down the spot (usually to stop their legs dropping off with the cold) while Europe’s Final Countdown is played through a tinny PA system. Sky pulled the plug on the whole sorry business fairly quickly. But the NFL organisers whip up the fans brilliantly. The whole thing is just so damned professional. The cheerleaders are uniformly six-feet tall, with thousands of dollars worth of dentistry blazing out of their mouths and when the music pounds out of the speakers, the bass is powerful enough to send shivers down the spine.
It’s a shame then that the game is a bit of a stinker until the Dolphins stage a late rally that almost sees them sneak a win. The pitch cuts up early in the game and gets worse (England now have a ready-made excuse if they lose against Croatia next month) meaning the game turns into trench warfare – it’s a war the Giants win 13-10. Some Dolphins fans have complained that they’ve been deprived of a home game, but judging by their team’s inept performance, the NFL has done them a favour.
“It was a fantastic spectacle,” said one NFL virgin, Rachel Beard, as she left the ground. “I’d definitely come again. If only to see Paul Potts.”
So there you go, the evening ends with another small miracle: Paul Potts, the future of the NFL in Europe.
A Brutally (Blogged) Outbreak Of Romosexuality
The recent behavior of a certain Dallas QB, as dissected by You Go Live In Utah’s Amanda Cobra :
As for why Tony Romo spent the bye in Los Angeles eating cheeseburgers and knocking back Hypnotiq (presumably) with Britney Spears, I have no answers. I can only presume they did things like clip each other’s toenails then had a belching contest. I hardly expected him to be having pho with Camille Paglia and discussing China’s carbon output. But for fuck’s sake, if you’re going to spend your week off in a city that is the municipal equivalent of a titty bar in a strip mall near the airport please try your hardest to not end up getting a proverbial lap dance from the only stripper with both bullet and c-section scars.
Eagles 24, Cowboys 16
(that’s including the safety that will occur when Romo gets distracted by a blonde shooting Popeye’s coupons from a t-shirt cannon on the sidelines)
Film Studio Struggles To Explain Casey Affleck’s Weak Box Office Pull
From Monday’s Boston Globe :
Could Ben Affleck’s beloved Red Sox be taking a bite out of the box office take for his directorial debut, “Gone Baby Gone,” which pulled in a lackluster $3.9 million in its second weekend in theaters? The film – starring Casey Affleck and Amy Ryan – cost an estimated $19 million to make and box office numbers available yesterday show it’s brought in $11.3 million since opening on Oct. 19. One official from Miramax, which made the Boston-set “Gone,” told the Globe that because the film’s opening coincided with the Sox’s playoff run, that may have contributed to its low box office receipts. “Boston fans are not going to choose going to a Boston movie over watching their team,” the official said, requesting anonymity because he was not authorized to speak about the film. “There’s a real belief that people will catch up with it once the Sox are done playing.”
Makes sense to me, much the same way Scott Caan’s “The Dog Problem” failed to catch the imagination of movie-goers otherwise preoccupied with the Final Four, local elections, unusually nice weather and the growing popularity of the Nintendo Wii.
Marchand : Girardi’s Been Offered The Yankee Job
As tipped by numerous sources earlier, ESPN 1050’s Andrew Marchand reported on Max Kellerman’s show earlier today that former Marlins skipper Joe Girardi —- 2006’s NL Manager Of The Year — has officially been offered the Yankees’ managerial position.
I suspect Joe’s well suited for the gig — he already possesses ample expertise when it comes to being chewed out by rich guys lacking baseball acumen.
Gotham Baseball Suggests A-Rod Could Handle The New York Market
Much as I love the Steve Phillips bashing, I have a sneaking suspicion moving David Wright to first base (!) would work out almost as well as Todd Hundley in the outfield. From Gotham Baseball’s Mark Healey (link swiped from Repoz and Baseball Think Factory)
Steve Phillips (above) thinks that the Mets would be ill-advised to think about acquiring Rodriquez if he’s a free agent this offseason, telling the NY Daily News’ Adam Rubin that “the Mets have a face to their regional sports network, and it’s Jose Reyes and David Wright. They’ve got that guy. It doesn’t make sense from a business or baseball perspective in my mind.”
Yeah, having the best player in baseball ply his trade in the biggest media market the sport has, and put him on the roster of the team that always seems to be in the shadow of the Bronx makes no sense.
It’s a good thing for Phillips that ESPN holds him in such high regard, because nobody else does.
Consider this, all of you cost-conscious fans out there; this year’s free agent pitching crop is awful, and the Mets have so little depth in their farm system that to even think about dealing for Johan Santana is delusional. Secondly, the pitching staff has few holes to fill as it is, because the immovable contracts of Guillermo Mota, Scott Schoeneweiss, Orlando Hernandez and Pedro Martinez make it that way.
Plus, if Steve “No One Will Hire Me” Phillips says it’s a bad idea, it is always a good one. They who takes credit for Reyes and Wright tried to trade both of them on a number of occasions. The guy who didn’t want to trade for Mike Piazza, thought he would replace Mike Hampton with Appier and who gave Roger Cedeno and Rey Ordonez four-year deals is the last guy anyone who roots for the Mets should be looking for an opinion from.
Give Rodriguez his tent, move Wright to first base, and pay him his gazillion dollars. The Mets fan loves David Wright, but the baseball fans will come from miles around to see A-Rod set records. People who would never even look at a Mets jersey will shell out 200 bucks for a Mets black uni with a “3″ on the back. A-Rod might be a primadonna, but he respects Willie Randolph and will play for him and represent the organization well.
Perhaps Mike Lowell Wasn’t Totally Washed Up
On at least one occasion in 2005, I compared the batting struggles of then-Fish 3B Mike Lowell to the hitting prowess of Al Leiter. Unfavorably. Today, the former is your 2007 World Series MVP, his closest competition coming in the form of a rookie center fielder less than 4 months removed from his big league debut.
With a 4-3 win over the Rox last night at Coors Field, Boston’s 2nd World Series crown in 4 years is certain to annoy-the-fuck out of some, but the victory isn’t without universally inspiring aspects. There’s Jon Lester’s recovery from cancer. Curt Schilling and Mike Timlin thanking God for putting them in the right place (clearly, The Big Guy totally hates Jamie Moyer). Eric Van getting his photograph in the newspaper. But most remarkable of all was the way Eric Gagne managed to protect a 12 run lead in Game One.
here’s a few (slightly) more sophisticated takes on the Red Sox ending their 2 year championship drought :
I agree that until late in the game last night the drama in this destruction of the Rockies was pretty much wrapped up in a pickoff throw. Like, was there ever a doubt after Jonathan Papelbon erased Matt Holliday in the eighth inning of Game 2 that the Red Sox were going to win the World Series? At that moment it had to dawn on the Rockies that not only were the Red Sox more talented, but they were also smarter. OK, richer, too, but we’re already tired of hearing about that. – Bob Ryan, Boston Globe
This was so bad, the Rockies would have been better served to have fallen gamely to Arizona in six or seven games of the NLCS than to reach the World Series and play dead. Nobody in Colorado wants to hear it, but a loss like this — for a team with no postseason legs to lean on — can have ugly ramifications down the road. The Rockies are only the second team to be swept in its World Series debut. The first was Houston in 2005. At the time, the Astros probably thought they’d broken through. Turns out they broke down. In the two years since, Houston has been a total of 14 games under .500 and fired manager Phil Garner. - Gregg Doyel, CBS Sports.com
The Rockies carried this dream for five weeks, nearly made it real. But at nearly 10 p.m. MST, the clock struck midnight and the valet brought back a pumpkin. While they became competitive – the final three games were winnable – the Rockies never got comfortable in the sport’s floodlights. – Troy E. Renck, Denver Post
Sheesh, I’ve seen pacifists with more fight in their souls. With a cumulative score of 25-7 through three games, this has a shot at being the most lopsided World Series in history.
And, I suppose, that’s fitting. Because, unless the Rockies win the next two games, this will be the worst stretch of World Series matchups in more than 100 years of competition. We are looking at a total of 17 World Series games out of a possible 28 in the past four years, an unprecedented stretch of ho-hum and blah.
We have seen a Red Sox sweep in 2004, followed by a White Sox sweep in ‘05, the Cardinals winning in five in ‘06, and now the Red Sox pitch-slapping the Rockies in ‘07.
What happened to parity? What happened to baseball’s renaissance? What happened to Game 6?
Maybe this is the reason Major League Baseball is trying to hide the ninth inning after midnight. Maybe the commissioner is hoping folks on the East Coast hit the pillow before realizing how dull these games have been. – John Romano, St. Petersberg Times
Jason Varitek, shorty after the game, was asked about Red Sox fans. He said that we were the “extra guy.” Then, you could see it in his eyes. He’d just left out half of us. Very quickly, he ammended his statement, adding that we were also “the extra woman.” Great job, Jason. In a world where we use the male default (my 10-game plan at Fenway is called the “10th Man Plan”), I am proud to go the opposite way. We Sox fans truly are the 10th Woman! – Jere, Let’s Go Sox
Listen, I don’t want to talk about Mike Lowell’s impending free agency, and I don’t want to talk about the Code Red hurl-a-thon it would be to have Alex Rodriguez join the Red Sox.
Do we have to launch a picket? Ruffle some feathers at the duck boat party this weekend? Kidnap Theo Epstein and make him watch reruns of MASH until he comes to his senses and offers a three-year deal? I want answers, and I want them now, Bubba.
Honestly, only Scott Lucifer Boras would announce his prized player’s decision on the day the Red Sox were set to win the World Series. – Dan Lamothe, Red Sox Monster
Howzabout a little love for Terry Francona. I’ve happily lobbed hot coals at the guy’s nuts for four seasons now, but I appreciate everything he’s done to steer the ship and stick to the game plan. He’s 8-0 in managing World Series games, has very likely seen DeMarlo Hale without pants and lived to tell about it, and will be leading your American League All-Stars in 2008 at Yankee Stadium. At this point, if news got out that he was secretly banging Jessica Biel would you be surprised? ‘Cause I wouldn’t. – Red, Surviving Grady
NESN just showed footage of the ‘04 celebration, and I swear on a holy stack of media guides, Royce Clayton was in the middle of that celebration too . . .I’ve said it before, and I’m guessing a lot more of you agree with me now: There’s no one else I’d rather have managing the Boston Red Sox than Terry Francona. He’s Joe Torre with a little bit of an edge and a knack for handling a bullpen. He’s the right man at the right time in the right town. That “Francoma” b.s. has always been born from the miniscule minds of morons. I hope he never has to hear it again. – Chad Finn, Touching All The Bases
A-Rod Opts Out, Marchman Tips His (Imaginary) Cap. Sort Of.
Shortly after SI.com’s Jon Heyman spilled the beans that Alex Rodriguez would opt out of his final three years under contract to the Yankees, the New York Sun’s Tim Marchman hailed “the brazen magnificence” of A-Rod’s announcement (”Rodriguez was never able to convince some that he was bigger than Derek Jeter. Now he’s made himself bigger than baseball”)
During the World Series, no one, according to both formal and informal baseball law, is supposed to make any real news. The commissioner’s office in the past has exhorted teams to keep quiet about managerial hirings and firings and contract negotiations during the Series, so as to focus the attention of the world on the seven games that are supposed to represent the sport at its best. To announce such a thing during the last innings of a decisive World Series game, thus upstaging the crucial moment toward which the entire season builds, is a calculated affront to all the game’s proprieties and ideas of order.
Here, though, comes Alex Rodriguez to remind everyone that professional sports are about money and utter crass power. The pure cynicism of Rodriguez’s ploy does so much to expose the sham pieties of the men who promote baseball that it should be applauded for that alone. Being so forcibly reminded that baseball is about money and power doesn’t, after all, diminish our ability to appreciate it as a sport one bit. To go along with the pretense that it does, to pretend that Rodriguez’s contract isn’t at least as important as Aaron Cook’s noble defeat, would be absurd. Credit to Rodriguez for being shameless and showing baseball for what it really is.
10.28.07
If You Started Matt Cassel Today….
…you’re more fortunate than whoever in your league started Chad Pennington. As New England continues to run up the score today against Washington (hey, you never know when a Joe Gibbs team might score 50 points in 5 minutes), I have to ask, is the Hooded Casanova the most insecure man in America? Is it not enough to have 3 rings, a 7-0 record to start the new season and his pick of New Jersey housewives (for the mere price of a Bon Jovi laminate)? To play Unpopular Psychologist for a moment, it would seem as though Bill Belichick has used Videogate — the biggest blow to his rep since Parcells made him wash the Escalade — as unneccessary/additional incentive. If the rest of the league and much of the media choose to label Belichick a classless boor, the Pats’ head coach seems hellbent on proving he’s an even bigger asshole than anyone suspected.
Of course, the quickest way to put a stop to such behavior might be for the opposition to keep New England’s offense off the field for a while. But full credit where due to the Redskins secondary — they held Randy Moss to a mere 3 catches (47 yards, 1 TD).
Tom Brady might be on pace to throw 60 TD’s, but I’d like to wait a few more weeks until there’s enough evidence to indicate he’s better than Drew Henson.
Whoop-De-Damn Update : Derrick Coleman, Sneaker Pimp
(DC, gracioulsy accepting a check for $280)
From Click On Detroit :
Former NBA star Derrick Coleman opened the “SNYX Sneaker Studio” Saturday in the neighborhood in which he grew up.
The store carries all Nike merchandise, including warm-ups and top-of-the-line athletic sneakers. Shoes range in price from $75 to $280.
The store is exclusive to Michigan. The concept was originated by Coleman’s associates, who own similar stores in Compton, Calif., and Chicago, Ill.
In addition to the “SNYX Sneaker Studio,” Coleman plans to develop a strip mall, which will include a “Hungry Howies,” a car wash, a barber shop, a laundry, and a bill-paying center.
Don’t Call It A Comeback : Zach’s Been Here For Years
Signal To Noise recently made a public plea to ESPN to bring back “Dream Job” (”it needs to return right now, not because it was the most enjoyable of show or because the wanna-bes on it were highly compelling once they left the Box in Bristol – it was public evidence of how on your game you needed to be in order to do the analyst job.”), but not without asking “where is Zach Selwyn now?”
Thanks, S2N. You just had to make someone look for this.
The Oklahoman’s Warm, Premature Welcome For The Sonics
Darnell Mayberry’s fluffy profile of a recent Maryland native/recentLonghorn toiling in Seattle (”somewhere there’s a blueprint, waiting on Kevin Durant to dissect its details and pursue its path. It leads to stardom.”) provides ample backup for Clay Bennett’s promise the Oklahoma City journalism business community is fully committed to their Sonics.
The New York Post’s Marc Berman describes Isiah Thomas’ recent mood as “morbid” and “morose”.
Before yesterday, Thomas rarely talked about anything, at times his evasive answers barely audible as he stared sullenly at the floor. He didn’t bring his wife to the trial, not wanting to expose her to the circus, and she has apparently sworn off games this season.
Some people will do anything to avoid running into Jerry Ferrera.
Berman’s Post colleague, Peter Vescey, takes note of Kobe Bryant blowing off the Lakers’ final exhibition game against Sacramento, and concludes the Andrew Bynum Diss Machine will be traded by Opening Night.
When a professional athlete – from superstar to superstiff – foregoes a freebie to Las Vegas, red flags go up all across the painted ponderosa.
Home of all that is virtuous and vacuous, not to mention (but I will anyway) the Pacman Jones Hospitality Center and Water Park, Las Vegas, at last survey, is where 93 percent of the NBA rank and file get their mail sent.
While injured teammates Lamar Odom and Maurice Evans sat on L.A.’s bench dressed in business casual, Bryant did not make the arduous hour trip from Los Angeles, excused due to a purported sprained right wrist.
Excuse me, but there are just two ways to judge Kobe’s no-show. Either he was exercising a last-ditch effort to disrespect the team and force a trade, or a deal is so close that management didn’t want to risk him getting hurt.
Hate Crimes Against Boston Fans Continue
This oughta take the shine off Pedroia and Ellsbury going nuts at Coors ; Mr. Irrelevant’s Chris Mottram with words that should have Denis Leary and Phil Jupitus alike contemplating buying Orioles season tickets giving up on baseball.
I think I’ve made it pretty clear in this space previously how much I hate the Nation of Red Sock. The real Sox fans are unbearable Massholes, and the bandwagon fans — which most of their fan base is comprised of — should probably kill themselves now. I’m not sure at what point it became cool to wear a cap with a ‘B’ on it, but I assure you that it is not, in anyway, cool. It makes you look f’ing stupid and your friends have no respect for you.
Ahem, bandwagon fans? Tough talk indeed from someone who actually thinks Jimmy Kimmel is funny, but full credit to Mottram — he gets to the point much faster than Dan Shaughnessy.
“Bill Walton” On The Blazers, Altamont
Dear Frank Caliendo — go on, try and top this.
Please do so in private, however.
You Might Say The (Ronnie) Millsaps Never Saw This Coming…
…except that would be insensitive towards the sightless.
Canseco’s “Juiced”, Reconsidered
Widely pilloried at the time of publication, Jose Canseco’s “Juiced” receives a very different retrospective critique from Bryan Curtis of the New York Times’ Play Magazine, who considers the rogue half of the Bash Brothers “one of the most intrepid sportswriters of his era.”
Taking locker-room verisimilitude to the extreme, Jose Canseco told of how he sneaked into bathroom stalls and (his word) “injected” his pal and fellow slugger Mark McGwire with steroids. Canseco’s was not a cautionary tale of drug abuse, however. “Juiced” was an over-the-top testimonial to the powers of steroids, which Canseco argued could “cure certain diseases,” along with making you “stronger and sexier” and “more easily aroused.” In this, Canseco appears to be the first memoirist to be influenced by both Wilt Chamberlain and Baba Ram Dass.
The lunkhead had a point. Canseco’s book started a congressional inquiry, and none of the book’s more lurid allegations has been effectively refuted. (Rafael Palmeiro, whom Canseco fingered as a user, later failed a drug test and was suspended.) While “Juiced” strayed past the bounds of self-parody, I think Canseco may have unwittingly written one of the most harrowing portraits of the modern athlete. Canseco was seemingly rich beyond his wildest dreams, awash in sex (he alternately flirted with Madonna and Hooters waitresses) and had a head that was big with or without pharmacological enhancement. But when he picked up a pencil, a funny thing happened. He came crashing down to earth. On the page, he was less a buffoonish, larger-than-life figure and more a real human being. And an extraordinarily sad one at that: “Juiced” reaches a kind of climax with Canseco sitting in his Florida mansion, cradling a machine gun and contemplating suicide.
Word is that Canseco is at work on a sequel to “Juiced,” which he has tentatively titled “Vindicated.” I wanted to ask Canseco about his literary process, but he said, through his manager, that he would speak with me only if I paid for the privilege. I couldn’t help but imagine Canseco hunched over his laptop, discarding drafts and wondering where his next paycheck was going to come from. As a mere mortal, I found some comfort in this. If you think playing left field is difficult, try being a writer.
10.27.07
Spurs To Jol : UR FIRED
If Pat Riley can quit via fax, is it really a big deal that Tottenham fired Martin Jol via text message? OK, so they did it during a match, but there’s something to be said for the convenience of mobile telephonopoly.
Juande Ramos (above), most recently of La Liga’s Sevilla, was named Spurs’ new boss earlier today. He’s signed a four year deal, which is pretty optimistic considering Tottenham haven’t kept a manager that long in twenty years.
The week’s award for unusual restraint in the face of provocation goes to Arsensal’s Arsene Wegner, who upon being called out by deposed keeper Jens Lehman, merely told the papers, ” I don’t think I’ll add to the fire. It’s common in Germany, these kind of statements.” Hopefully, Tom Coughlin’s taking notes this week.
Jamal Charles’ 4th Quarter Rushing Clinic
With all due respect to Colt McCoy’s ability to take a punch (and if he takes a couple more, Mack Brown’s gonna be charged with child abuse), Jamal Charles’ absolutely insane 4th quarter (2 of his 3 TD’s, 216 of his 290 yards rushing on the day) might be the final nail in the coffin for Nebraska coach Bill Callahan. The Cornhuskers’ 28-25 loss to Texas — a game they lead, 17-3 in the second half — was their 4th consecutive defeat, the longest such run of futility in 36 years.
Why it took nearly 45 minutes of play for Brown and Greg Davis to fathom Nebraska a) wasn’t going to stop blitzing and b) entered the day as the nation’s most suspect run defense, I can’t answer. But while Charles isn’t going to total 290 and 3 TD’s most weeks, there’s got to be some relation between getting him going early and often and opening things up for the wildly inconsistent McCoy.
Check Your Head : Xenith’s New Helmet
Former Harvard QB Vin Ferrara — a multi-concussion victim as a player — is the brains behind a new football helmet that one researcher has called “the greatest advance in helmet design in 30 years.” From the New York Times’ Alan Schwartz :
Rather than being lined with rows of traditional foam or urethane, Ferrara’s helmet features 18 black, thermoplastic shock absorbers filled with air that can accept a wide range of forces and still moderate the sudden jarring of the head that causes concussion. Moreover, laboratory tests have shown that the disks can withstand hundreds of impacts without any notable degradation in performance, a longtime drawback of helmets’ traditional foam.
Dr. Gerry Gioia, a pediatric neuropsychologist who directs the concussion program at the Children’s National Medical Center in Washington, said Ferrara’s helmet could “take helmet protection to a whole new level.”
“I think it’s very real,” Gioia said. “Foams have only had a certain amount of success in absorbing force. Think of what crumple zones in cars meant to reducing injuries. That’s the idea behind this technology — this does what it’s supposed to do better than any other.”
Ferrara said that his company, Xenith LLC, expected the helmet to be available for the 2008 football season — either produced by Xenith or perhaps by license to an existing manufacturer. The price will be about $350, more than twice the cost of existing headgear. Ferrara, who after graduating from Harvard in 1996 earned medical and business degrees from Columbia, said he expected marketing to focus less on schools, whose budgets are tight, than parents with concern for their child.
Ferrara said he wanted his new shock-absorber helmet design to be only one of several lines of defense against concussions. Mindful that previous helmet improvements have occasionally led athletes to feel a false sense of security and take more risks, he said part of his rollout plan would be to emphasize to players and coaches proper, head-up tackling technique, so that the helmet sees fewer dangerous hits to begin with — as well as encouraging athletes to admit when they think they might have a concussion.
“The educational side of it is just as important, if not more important, as the helmet itself,” Ferrara said.
TiVO’s Disappearing NHL Content
Sabres fan John Niedermeyer coughed up $150 for the NHL’s Center Ice package, naturally presuming he’d be free to watch games on his TiVo hard drive recorder at his convenience. Think again.
We recently upgraded our TiVo unit from an old DirecTiVo, to the new Series 3 TiVo HD, which apparently implements unnaturally strict copy protection on premium content. Because the new unit utilizes CableCards, TiVo has different rules for these TiVos as compared to Series 2 units, according to their support page:
Since the Series3 and TiVo HD are DCR devices, in addition to the Macrovision rules for analog content, they must also comply with the content protection policies for Digital Cable content.
What this means is that NHL Center Ice content is copy protected, and will be deleted within hours of the game’s completion. Gone. Irretrievable.
This angers me to no end, as I am a busy person, who is paying a premium price to the NHL, as well as TiVo. The NHL’s popularity has waned so much here in the States, that I can’t for a minute imagine that they are responsible for this policy.
I can’t either. Mostly because there’s at least one claim of the same thing happening to Major League Soccer telecasts —- not because it’s difficult to envision the NHL inconveniencing their customers.
UPDATE : courtesy Off Wing Opinion, the NHL blames TiVo!.
Lough : “No Idea” Why Grady Jackson Was Cut
“I have no idea what Bobby Petrino is doing. Or Rich McKay,” writes the Macon Telegraph’s Michael A. Lough of the Falcons’ embattled head coach and general manager. You might say the former is putting his own stamp on things. While the latter is probably preparing to offer the former a buyout in January. |
The cutting by the Atlanta Falcons of defensive tackle Grady Jackson (above) on Tuesday was from beyond left field and will increase the debate of whether Petrino is a one-year guy waiting to see what shakes down in the college football coaching bloodletting that we’re two months away from.
Jackson was the team’s top tackler up front, and it’s not like the Atlanta defense was shaking up the world.
Worse, Petrino apparently did it quietly and with no explanation for a full day, letting his team fester. Apparently, Petrino has bought some discount shovels at Home Depot, because he’s digging a hole.
And suddenly what some of us blew off as a surprising bout of whining from Alge Crumpler is much easier to believe.
From this spot, changing quarterbacks made little sense, since Joey Harrington had played well enough for the Falcons to be at .500, and he was one of the few who qualified for that statement.
Grady Jackson qualified for that statement.
The initial thought here is that Petrino was a gamble hire because he moved around so much, and thus hadn’t built anything long-term. Then his decision to go with a pocket-oriented passing game with a non-pocket quarterback was odd.
Still, some of us eventually warmed to the move and predicted, even in the middle of the Vick mess, some positive surprises. One of us actually said that a run at the postseason wouldn’t be so shocking.
More and more, one wonders what’s going on and if we completely missed something.
Dodgers Mull Letting Russell Martin Take Aim At A 42 Foot High Fence….
(image taken from Ballparks.com)
….albeit one 250 feet from home plate. The LA Times’ Bill Shaikin explains.
As they celebrate their 50th season in Los Angeles, the Dodgers are exploring the possibility of staging one game at the Coliseum next year. The Dodgers shared the stadium with USC, UCLA and the Rams for four years, after they moved from Brooklyn in 1958 and before Dodger Stadium opened in 1962.
“We’re in the process of seeing if we can pull this off,” Dodgers spokeswoman Camille Johnston said Thursday.
Coliseum General Manager Pat Lynch said the Dodgers inquired about the availability of various dates during the regular season as well as spring training.
“They can do whatever they want, as long as we’re able to play football in the fall,” Lynch said.
The quirky field dimensions that result from squeezing a baseball field onto a football field make it more likely that major league officials would sanction an exhibition game there. The Dodgers and Angels cut the annual Freeway Series exhibition slate from three games to one next spring, leaving the Dodgers with open dates March 28-30. The Boston Red Sox could be available then, stopping in Los Angeles on their way back from their scheduled March 22-23 series in Japan.
The Coliseum field is 304 feet in width, according to the stadium website. When the Dodgers played there, the left-field foul pole stood 250 feet from home plate, and to compensate the Dodgers erected a 42-foot screen in left field. Dodgers outfielder Wally Moon developed a proficiency for hitting home runs over the screen, dubbed “Moon Shots.”
Olney : Yanks To Offer Rodriguez A Record Breaking Extension
From ESPN.com’s Buster Olney :
The New York Yankees have asked to meet with Alex Rodriguez, and if and when they get that meeting, league sources indicate the team is prepared to make him an offer that will exceed, in average salary, the $27 million per year that he is scheduled to make over the next three seasons — and A-Rod would be in line to set yet another salary benchmark.
The offer could be for something in the range of five years — beyond the three years Rodriguez is already under contract for, from 2008-10 — and perhaps $30 million a year. The highest per-workday salary earned to date is the $28 million Roger Clemens received, in prorated salary, for a little less than four months of work this season.
If the Yankees’ extension offer is for something in the range of $150 million, over five years, then Rodriguez would be owed about $230 million over the next eight seasons.
Though it might be incorrect to presume the Yankees are bidding against themselves — perhaps the Angels or Giants are prepared to offer a quarter or more of their payroll to one player? — the fact remains that if Rodriguez does leave the Bronx, his next club will have to pay his salary without the benefit of some $10 million a year in relief from Texas’ Tom Hicks. A-Rod’s current salary looks like a bargain compared to Carlos Lee or Alfonso Soriano — slightly less so without the Rangers’ loot.
Has Anyone Told John Rocker About This?
From Chris Companik’s “One Man Out”, link courtesy East Windup Chronicle.
Shawn Green Wouldn’t Have Caught This
Video link swiped from Loge 13’s Kingman, who adds “Nancy Seaver’s smart printed dress and hat ensemble may be one of the best player’s wives’ outfits ever!”. Anna Benson, unavailable for comment.
CHB To Pink Hat Nation : Where Were You When We Were Shit?
Complaining “it’s no longer about the contest, now it’s performance art with style points”, the Boston Globe’s Dan Shaughnessy advances the tired argument that Red Sox fans under the age of 90 are spoiled rotten.
There are people who claim to be members of Red Sox Nation who have no idea that Bucky Dent’s middle name is Bleeping. There are people under pink hats wearing PEDROIA jerseys who think Big Papi, not Ted Williams, is the greatest hitter who ever lived. They don’t know that there was a guy named Radatz who threw harder than Papelbon or that there was a time not long ago when a black cloud followed the Boston baseball club.
The Red Sox and their entitled traveling Nationalists who’ve been taking over other people’s ballparks for three years have officially jumped the shark. They are Nouveau Nation – rich folks who’d demolish a 200-year-old colonial to make way for a hideous, horizon-blocking McMansion. You may have heard some of them talking after Thursday’s scintillating Game 2 World Series win at Fenway:
“I hope we win the World Series again. I mean, it’s been an eternity since we won. I’ve waited three long years for this. I just hope they lose a couple this weekend in Colorado so we can win it at home. That would be so much more fun.”
Now we have some alleged “fans” who aren’t satisfied with just another world championship. They want the cherry on top. They want all the Fenway trappings to go along with it: “Sweet Caroline,” “Dirty Water,” the Dropkicks, the Irish Step Dancers, and Papelbon Riverdancing on the Fenway lawn with a bottle of Korbel in his pitching hand and a Luis Tiant cigar in his mouth.
Aside from my wondering if the above conversation was real or imagined, let’s imagine a more idyllic Red Sox fan base, one closer in size and temperment to that of ’67’s Impossible Dream. Exactly how many opportunities would the Dan Shaughnessey of that generation have found for writing books, making television appearances and providing expert commentary for the (non-extant) 24-7 sports radio stations of the day?
Milli Being Milli
I don’t suppose I’m usually inclined to venture into “itsasecretsohush” type territory, but the credibility of this “Tales from the Strip Club” blog (MySpace membership required) has been vouched for to my satisfaction (ethnic confusion aside):
A few weeks ago on a busy Saturday night, there was an African-American male patron sitting at a table on the main floor in front of the stage. He reminded me of Milli Vanilli with his long beaded cornrows. I think I even asked Billy to play “Girl you Know it’s True” so I could sit upstairs and giggle. So Milli Vanilli is accompanied by his posse of five other dudes wearing saggy pants and baseball caps turned backwards.
“Hi!” Autumn says. “Do you want some boobs in your face” She’s clear, concise and to the point. Especially when it’s somewhat busy.
“Don’t you know who I am?” Milli Vanilli says slowly, firmly, and a little bit pissed off.
“Uh…No. Don’t you know who I am?” Autumn repeats back.
“I’m a baseball player.” Milli Vanilli says. “For the Red Sox. And I don’t buy dances.”
“Oh, well I’m a football fan. Do you play football?” She countered back defiantly.
“No. I told you . I play for the Red Sox and we’re gonna win the World Series.” Milli Vanilli said getting even more annoyed that no one gave a crap who he was.
“Well, I’m a Vikings fan. I don’t follow the White Sox.” She said.
“The Red Sox!”
“Oops sorry! Wrong color sock! I don’t wear socks! Tee hee! Bye!!” Autumn said as she walked away.
A few minutes later Autumn and I regrouped at the bar. We each canvass half the club and report back to each other on regular intervals about who’s buying what, who’s a VIP candidate, who’s a friggin moron. Milli Vanilli fell into the last category.
I laugh and start to plan my approach to Milli Vanilli. I love to fuck with people who have an ego that is way to big for themselves.
“Hi. Do you need a girl on your lap?” I ask Milli Vanilli.
“Don’t you know who I am?” He says emphatically.
I stepped back. Eyeballed him up and down, and started shaking my head. “Uh huh. I used to watch your videos on MTV! But when I went to your concert, the recording got stuck and you got caught lip synching.”
I saw Milli Vanilli on TV last night. He really does play for the Red Sox. He really did make it to the World Series. He didn’t get any dances from Autumn or Avalon though.
10.26.07
In The Spirit Of Global Understanding
Since Tony Siragusa claims to be “worried on the biggest play nobody will say anything, but then, like, cheer the punter” during Sunday’s telecast of the Giants/Dolphins game from London, this might be a good opportunity to remind one and all that misconceptions about another country are hardly limited to Fox Sports blowhards.
MLB To Denver : Forget The Frantix, You’re Getting Carrie Underwood
(no reunion this weekend, Rockies fans)
Sports journalism’s no.1 Jim Ross tribute act, Tracy Ringolsby of the Rocky Mountain News on Major League Baseball’s pick to sing the National Anthem prior to Game 3.
Dick and Charlie Monfort, the Rockies general partnership, are active in the beef industry. Their grandfather, Warren Monfort, and father, Ken Monfort, created Greeley-based Monfort Inc., which was one of the largest meat-packing companies in the world. It is now a part of Swift Co.
Carrie Underwood, meanwhile, was voted “world’s sexiest vegetarian,” by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) in 2007, the second time she has been selected for the award. She also is a supporter of the Humane Society of the United States, which has taken stands against the beef industry, rodeo and hunting.
She recently deleted a link to the HSUS Web site from her official Web site.
Rockies officials said they were not consulted on the decisions about who would sing the national anthem. “Major League Baseball told us who the singers would be,” said Jay Alves, Rockies vice president of communications.
A Day Later, Pondering The Leaning Tower Of Matt Holliday
Though Bad Altitude finds some slim consolation in “the Red Sox haven’t had to use any of their vulnerable pitchers — which is every single one of them besides Beckett, Schilling, Okajima, and Papelbon — in a close-game situation yet”, there’s also the not-so-small matter of Colorado’s likely MVP leaving taking the bat out of Todd Helton’s hands in the last of the 8th Thursday night.
The Fanhouse’s Pat Lackey, unduly distracted by some marketing nonsense of some sort of another, fails to understand there’s only one option for the real fan during this Fall Classic ; fake your IP address so you can watch the MLB.com international feed instead of Fox’s promo-happy presentation.
Starting with last night’s “unscripted” conversation between Royce Clayton and Coco Crisp about the free taco giveaway (you can call it unscripted all you want, but why else would ROYCE CLAYTON be mic’d up?) I think Buck and McCarver have talked more about the free tacos than baseball. They replayed the conversation tonight, they celebrated in the booth when Jacoby Ellsbury stole a base, they played ANOTHER conversation between Clayton and Ellsbury with Clayton urging Ellsbury to steal a base for America, and they interviewed Taco Bell’s creepy COO. His empty eyes bored a hole into the camera and my Fox-addled soul. Not only that, Jub-Jub asked the Stepford-COO about giving away “Millions of dollars of free tacos.” Try tens of thousands of dollars of free tacos, maybe.
It’s been some kinda career for Clayton ; from the shortstop who replaced The Wizard, to the mouthpiece that took on tasks that would embarrass Eric Byrnes.
Vescey On Stern’s Change In Gambling Policy
NBA commissioner David Stern went to great pains last July to paint former referee Tim Donaghy as a “rouge, isolated criminal”, claiming that no other officials would be implicated in the league’s betting scandal. Fast forward to yesterday and with the revelation that some Association zebras had engaged in casino and golf wagering, Stern described his gambling ban as “ too absolute, too harsh, and not particularly well enforced over the years.”
The New York Post’s Peter Vescey considers Stern’s new, non-hysterical approach, claiming “whistle blowers have been gambling in casinos and at the track, as well as betting on sporting events (their own, too, I’d wager, though you can’t quote me) long before I began covering pro basketball in the late 1960s.”
Rules forbidding gambling of any kind (exempting the track during the offseason) have been in force for many moons, but they’ve rarely, if ever, been enforced. As long as refs kept a low profile when playing craps or blackjack, whatever, at their favorite upscale hangout, nobody seemed to care enough to investigate.
That’s probably because so many other NBA-related people – players, coaches, general managers, league administrators, sports writers – were out and about doing their share of gambling.
We’re talking high-stake card games that take place on charters (out in the open when teams flew commercial), hotel rooms (late into the a.m. with a playoff game that night), bus rides (or trains when that was the mode of travel), in executive suites and behind closed doors in team offices. And what about all the green exchanging hands after the 18th green? And the football pools? And the lotteries? And on and on.
If you’re a referee, all of that is strictly prohibited. To engage in any of it could result in a suspension or dismissal.
If you were a player, coach, GM, Stu Jackson or David Stern, you were free to gamble your life away.
The fact the rule only applied to refs is one of the reasons the commissioner has decided, at long last, to eradicate the inequitable double standard . . . and 28 or so naughty refs thank him for it.
Now if only Stern would apply that same common sense to the league’s ridiculously rigid rule (automatic one-game suspension) regarding players who leave the bench (a step or two) during a disturbance.
The Minneapolis Star-Tribune’s Jerry Zgoda suggests Antoine Walker should be looking to rent, not buy in the Twin Cities. Though who knows how seriously ‘Toine’s career might recover if the T-Wolves appointed Aaron Gleeman as his personal nutritionist?
What Do Morrissey & Junior Soprano Have In Common?
Besides ruthless treatment of rhythm sections, that is. Apparently, they both share a particular talent they’d rather not have advertised.
Grouchy Crouchy : Gills Fans R Ugly
Not quite Oscar Wilde (nor the new Buford Pusser) former QPR striker / current Liverpool benchwarmer Peter Crouch’s autobiography, ‘Walking Tall : My Story’ hit the shelves this week, and the Guardian’s Simon Hawkins finds the England international with an unusual axe to grind.
Across two pages of his new autobiography Crouch (above) sticks the boot into Gillingham. Not just the club and its fans, but the whole, unsuspecting community.”Dad remembers his first visit to that Medway town in Kent quite clearly,” writes Crouch, embarking on a memorable scene-setting stanza. In it, his father – high-flying advertising executive Bruce – visits a pub where the locals are “watching ‘Supermarket Sweep’ on television and betting on it with cash.” He then observes a chap pouring oil into a drain while his child gambols merrily with a Staffordshire bull terrier. “If you’ve never had the pleasure of visiting Gillingham,” he concludes, “I hope that puts you in the picture.”
Why the rather classist hostility? Well, Crouch goes on to recount a nasty experience at the Priestfield early in his career when, playing for QPR, the distinctive young colt received an unpleasant reception from a group of home fans he likens to “the hillbillies in the film Deliverance”.
He was unimpressed with the aesthetic qualities of the clientele in general, in fact. “Looking around at the faces of the home support at Gillingham, the irony was never lost on me that these people had the cheek to call me a ‘freak’. Perhaps they should have taken a look at themselves first,” he says, still in the highest of dudgeon, seven years on.
Of course, Crouch didn’t actually write the book. It was ghosted by the Independent’s Sam Wallace, and you do wonder how such curiously contentious passages actually came into being, an Everton-baiting extract having already hit the headlines in the run-up to last Saturday’s Merseyside derby.
What do the good people of Gillingham – club and town – make of their unpleasant cameo?
“I support the club, I work for the club and I’m not going to let people drag it down when it shouldn’t be dragged down,” says an indignant Steve Lovell, Gillingham’s football in the community officer. Lovell is one of Gillingham’s favourite sons, having played and coached at the Priestfield, and he’s a little bemused by the big lad’s continued anguish, looking back at the game in question.
“I was actually sitting in the stand near where he was getting this stick, but it was only normal stick that any person would get,” he says. “You’ve got to rise above it; if you’ll excuse the pun.”
Catching Up With The Man That Tried (And Failed) To Discourage Big Sexy
With Dave Zirin jumping all over Jason Whitlock’s most recent diatribe against “hip hop buffoons” in NFL locker rooms (a piece previously pilloried by Jason Cohen last weekend), The Austin Chronicle’s Kevin Bass considers Whitlock’s long memory.
“Wasting energy worrying about what white folks think about us is fruitless,” nationally syndicated sports columnist Jason Whitlock, who is black, recently told The Big Lead, a sports blog. To make his point, Whitlock recalled his decision 15 years ago to quit The Charlotte Observer for a job in Ann Arbor. The editor of the paper “made it a point to hunt me down in the main newsroom to tell me that I wouldn’t make it in this business and that I’d return to the Observer and beg for my old job,” he said.
That editor was Rich Oppel, now the guiding light of the Austin American-Statesman.
“Now I have no idea if Rich Oppel is or was a bigot,” Whitlock told the blog. “I just figured he was petty and stupid.”
Whitlock eventually landed at The Kansas City Star, where he writes a sports column, and makes guest appearances on ESPN and The Oprah Winfrey Show. “I’ve run across a lot of Rich Oppels in this business; small, petty people who want to put a glass ceiling on people they don’t like and prop up the people they favor,” Whitlock said. “They can be worked around and ignored.”
Responding via e-mail, Oppel says he doesn’t remember telling Whitlock he wouldn’t make it in the business. “In fact, my intent was to keep him at the Observer, which I wouldn’t have done if I thought he was a loser,” Oppel wrote. Whitlock’s column often appears in the Statesman’s “guest column” spot on page 2 of the sports section, Oppel notes. “We’re delighted to publish his work and I’m personally happy and proud that he’s been so successful,” he wrote.
Asked about Oppel’s response (Oppel sent him a copy), Whitlock said he had “no fight” with Oppel. “Newspaper editors do what newspaper editors do,” he said in an e-mail. “Their ‘intent’ is to retain talent with insults, threats, and disrespect. Other industries retain talent with pay raises and promotions.”
He emphasized that he’s not complaining. “I’m sure Oppel meant well and learned that recruiting technique at a diversity seminar,” he said. “I’ve seen it executed far worse.”
At the risk of telling Mr. Bass that he’ll never make it in this business (and claiming to have treasured his work some years later), it should be stressed that Whitlock’s “guest appearances” are famously a thing of the past, and the circumstances surrounding the split are an awfully big part of Big Sexy lore. Surely Whitlock’s new paymasters would like to see a plug for his contemporary work every now and then?
Zdeno Chara Is No Longer Eligible For The Lady Byng Trophy
Please, enough about Hideki Okajim punching out 4 Rockies. Zdeno Cheno’s dismantling of Chicago’s David Koci won the former some serious pugilistic cred, even if the Garden was only half full for the occasion.
