Bot 7: Twins 0 Sox 0. Blackburn has a one-hitter going and Johnny Danks has a two-hitter. I keep forgetting to breathe. Gentleman Jim Thome up…Sox 1B coach Harold Baines can’t hang with the pressure either, he’s in the hospital with an ulcerated stomach lining.. Thome takes Blackburn’s high sinker mistake DEEP to center! Sox 1 Twins 0…Konerko up…(best wishes, Harold)…Twins pen wakes up…Konerko 2-2..roller 4-3, 1 out…Junior up – DOUBLE off the wall…Brian Anderson pinchrunning, crowd going apeshit…Griffey gunned down Cuddyer at home on a popup to center back in the fifth, Pierzynski still has Cuddyer’s cleatmarks on his melon…the Cuban Missile has been rolled out to the plate…In the Twins dugout, Burl Ives takes one look at Slamirez, puts down his banjo and calls for the intentional walk…2 on 1 out and out comes Blackburn for LHP Jose Mijares…AJ Pierogi is at the bat…Mijeres not looking quite in control, got an east-west problem…2-1…bouncer to first, Anderson and Ramierz advance..Juan Uribe..2-0 dirtball…line drive to Delmon Young to end the inning. Can one run hold this thing? Danks is at 93 pitches and the pen’s at 6.12 ERA in September…the answer is…no.
Top 8th: Danks is on the bump, one pitch, one out…2-2 to Harris…bouncer single to the left, and here’s Punto batting righty…Gardy pinchruns Matt Tolbert…Punto hits into a 6-4-3 TWIN KILLING!
Bot 8th: OC the OG facing Mijeres..6-3 bouncer…Dewayne Wise squibs to deep short, two out…enter closer 1.34 39/45 Joe Nathan to face Jermaine…I thought he looked rattled in game one of the Minn series, and here, I’d prefer him to projectile-shit…LINE DRIVE to left!…Jim Thome up, desperately trying to figure out how to hit a solo home run with one man on…2-1 fastball..3-1…fly to Gomez, out of the inning.
Bobby.
Kubel in for Cuddyer…Swisher in at first…Bobby’s hitting 98…”2″-2..CURVEBALL K, get back in that dugout Kubel…Span up…BOUNCER TO SWISHER 2 OUT…BRIAN ANDERSON CXATCHES ALEXEI CASILLA’S FLY BALL AND THIS IS HOW YOU CELEBRATE YOU MINNESOTA DOUCHEBAGS! ALL GODDAMN SEASON LONG WITH YOUR BULLSHIT FLARES AND CHOPPING THE BALL OFF A CONCRETE HOME PLATE AND WHAT DID IT GET YOU? A PLANE TICKET! TAKE 94 WEST TO 194 AND FOLLOW THE SIGNS TO O’HARE! GOODBYE!
When Terry Venables speaks, the world of football listens! And that’s no wonder, when you take his achievements into consideration. At Barcelona he spurned opportunities to sign Hugo Sanchez, Ruud Gullit and Marco van Basten, instead building a team which lost home and away to Dundee United. At Spurs he scooped the 1991 FA Cup, pitting his managerial wits in the final against a man who had to be wheeled on to the Wembley turf in a large pickling jar. And he led the Sheilaroos to the prestigious 1st Oceania v 4th Asia play-off in the 1998 World Cup qualifiers, losing bravely to Iran on away goals. Equally effective was his financial nous, displayed in the boardrooms of Crystal Palace, Portsmouth and Tottenham, as he [REST OF PARAGRAPH DELETED BY FIVER LAWYERS, WHO THEN GIVE BENEFICIAL LEGAL ADVICE TO FIVER WITH THE AID OF A 12x2 PLANK OF WOOD WITH A BENT NAIL STICKING OUT OF ONE END]
So yes, when Venables speaks, the world of football listens! And today it hears that Spurs are presently in crisis because of “greed, mismanagement, egos and selfishness”, according to an opinion piece in The Sun by the man who missed the first game of his time in charge at Crystal Palace in 1998 because he was a bit tired after doing telly work at that summer’s World Cup, and missed his first game in charge of Leeds in 2002 because he was away filming a holiday programme.
“Bulgarian strike ace Berbatov,” he began – he always talks this formally, perhaps it’s a legacy of all that time spent in courtrooms – “kept telling us he had a dream. Well good for you Dimi! You had a dream with a few extra noughts added to your bank balance. But don’t you think Spurs had a dream too? Don’t you think that when they bought you and helped you blossom into one of the best strikers in the world, you had a duty to blah blether drone drone self-righteous drone.” It suddenly makes you feel glad you don’t subscribe to Setanta, doesn’t it.
Please, no Bobby Steele jokes. But never mind the plight of an Oakland franchise so dysfunctional, St. Louis seems Patriot-esque by comparison. No, the scariest thing about the above press conference is that when I flipped on the TV, I thought I was watching a Learning Channel special on what Mike Dunleavy will look like in a hundred years.
Oh, Jesus, what a fucking disaster area this is. And in case you’re wondering why the Seattle Mariners seem so broken and hopeless, you have two choices: 1. Keep wondering; or 2. Read this doozy of an interview with Good Ship Mariner CEO/Chairman Howard Lincoln (above, on the hot seat) as conducted by the usually wonderful Art Thiel of the Seattle PI.
As a long-suffering Mariner fan, almost every response provoked a full-body clenching, but please allow me copy/paste call this excerpt to your attention:
Q: No one could have anticipated the injuries to Erik Bedard, but how he related to teammates, manager and the club regarding himself and those injuries had to have been surprising. Did something get missed in the evaluation of his personality?
A: Because we were talking about such a big trade, a great deal of effort went into evaluating it. We talked to many who knew him on a day-to-day basis. With his record, he was one of the best MLB left-handed pitchers.
Certainly his personality was discussed. Whether his manner in dealing with the manager or media is a bit strange, if he had pitched up to expectations, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. But he was injured. Fortunately, we found the injury wasn’t as serious. We hope he’ll be ready by spring training.
I was a little surprised by what I read in the paper, but no more than I am with peculiarities of some other players. There’s a wide variety of personalities.
This kind of thing comes to the fore when a team is losing. When a team is winning, you can have 25 psychopaths down there and nobody cares.
I think we did due diligence. In hindsight, was it good enough? Probably not. But his personality is not the key. The key is the injury. We better not evaluate this trade as a disaster until it plays itself out.
I don’t know who Lincoln means by WE, but I’ll go ahead and call it the worst trade since the 10 year old Heathcliff Slocumb for Derek Lowe/Jason Varitek deal. Also, regarding the bit about not caring (or noticing) psychopaths on a winning ballclub, I would hasten to remind Lincoln that a famous psychopath named Al Martin played for that Mariner squad that won a league record 116 games in 2001.
After throwing former Mariner GM Bill Bavasi under the bus for the 2008 meltdown, Mr. Lincoln admits that he serves at the pleasure of Mr. Hiroshi Yamauchi, Nintendo’s (former-ish) Chairman and President:
(Mr. Yamauchi, in four-headed form, stolen from 4colorrebellion.)
According to Lincoln, Yamauchi’s batting average in player/personnel matters is “1.000″ based on his involvement in the Kaz Sasaki, Ichiro Suzuki and Kenji Johjima deals. By my math that seems about .333 too high.
While the New York Daily News’ Frank Isola hopefully cites a William Wesley sighting as evidence the Knicks have a shot at LeBron James, Yahoo’s Adrian Wojnarowski reports James Dolan’s refusal to eat the remainder of Stephon Marbury’s $22 million contract resulted in another fun-filled reminder of the point guard “draining the spirit of hope and change out of the room.” And this on the opening day of training camp, too.
Marbury has never been so defiant. He’s bragging about losing 25 pounds – honoring Walsh’s instruction to get into the best shape of his life – but it’s clear he’s as erratic as ever. In his annual YouTube summer moment with Bruce Beck recently, Marbury’s goofball performance left little doubt with NBA executives that he’s as unstable as ever. When he returned to talk again Monday, he declared that, “Stephon Marbury TV.net is coming soon, where you can view all highlights, clips and in-depth interviews.”
Just what the world had been waiting on: Starbury on an endless loop. Eventually, he was in constant contradiction with reality and himself. One moment, he insisted that he no longer cared what anyone said about him, that his spiritual awakening – an annual epiphany – made him “pray” for those belittling his greatness. He cared so little, he called out one New York basketball writer, Newsday’s Ken Berger, for aptly describing Marbury as “toxic” in the paper this summer.
At the end of his session, Marbury climbed to his feet and wrapped a creeped-out Berger in the most inappropriate Knicks hug since Isiah and Anucha. Marbury kept saying, “I’m going to pray for you,” in this strange, suffocating clench. And then, he left his teammates behind in the gym and walked toward a curtain patrician leaping into the air and pumping his fists to no one but himself. Once more, Marbury disappeared into his own world.
Knicks first-rounder Danilo Gallinari shares his thoughts on the Mets’ 08 finish (thanks to Repoz for the link), though it seems no one has told the rookie that in America, you’re allowed to visit the dentist in something other than a basketball jersey.
A diabolical April left the Tigers eating the rest of the AL Central’s dust, but to hear ESPN’s Tim Kurkjian tell the tale, ’twas mere motivation that was lacking in the Motown clubhouse. “The Tigers will contend next season,” insisted Kurkjian this morning, “because Jim Leyland will insist on it.” So there you have it folks, Detroit failed to play meaningful games this September because their veteran skipper FORGOT to insist they do so. Jesus fucking christ. Based on yesterday’s chat with the Detroit News’ Lynn Henning, GM Dave Dombrokwski has a little more substance to draw upon when considering a rotten 2008.
“I’m embarrassed,” Dombrowski said before the Tigers-White Sox game, a makeup from an earlier rainout that needed to be played because of the tight AL Central race. “I’ve had a bad year. There were a lot of things anticipated that I missed on.
“We had a bad year as a team,” Dombrowski said of a team that finished last, a game behind the Royals. “Now we need to fix it.”
As expected, the Tigers will not pick up shortstop Edgar Renteria’s $11 million option for 2009. They will pay a $3 million buyout, and Dombrowski said the Tigers had not “closed the door” on signing Renteria to a lesser contract.
Dombrowski said the decision to trade two premier prospects to the Braves for Renteria was carefully considered but never came close to panning out.
“We knew we gave up a lot,” Dombrowski said of sending pitcher Jair Jurrjens and minor league outfielder Gorkys Hernandez to the Braves last offseason. “But we thought (Renteria) would make a difference. He did not. It didn’t work out.”
Backup infielder Ramon Santiago could find himself in the mix to replace Renteria, Dombrowski said, but Santiago’s lack of size has long convinced the Tigers he’s likely a part-time player.
As for who might be Todd Jones’ successor as closer, Dombrowski said: “I don’t have an answer for that.”
“We can’t count on (Joel) Zumaya to be it, although he could be it,” Dombrowski said of the 23-year-old right-hander who has had shoulder problems for the past 11 months.
Fernando Rodney is “our leading candidate if we were to open the season now,” Dombrowski said, “but we’re hoping to find someone else. He needs to throw more strikes. Does he have the stuff to do it? No question.”
Dombrowski said he was uncertain if trades or free agency would patch any of the holes. The Tigers’ payroll, which was $139 million and the second-largest in all of baseball next to the Yankees this year, will be a factor.
“I’d be surprised if we were a real big participant in free agency,” Dombrowski said, adding: “Our first six guys (in the batting order) are stars. We need guys who can fit in. We don’t need an All-Star at every position.”
I’ve got no rooting interest in tonight’s one game playoff to determine the winner of the AL Central, but if the White Sox persevere, I’m hopeful they do so in less dramatic fashion. Thanks to Harrelson and Jackson, the speakers on my Realistic ™ Home Entertainment System were critically injured last night.
The Miami Herald’s Joseph Goodman reports the following sign appears less than a half mile from the Florida Gators’ training facility. I’ve neither the time nor inclination to flex my journalistic chops and confirm or refute this sign’s existence, but surely Goodman is aware it’s pretty easy to rig this kind of thing?
Eric Brown, the 31-year-old minister at Gainesville’s Campus Church of Christ, says he hopes Tebow sees the sign while the Heisman Trophy winner drives to and from campus. If you’re wondering about the Bible verse, Matthew 6:13, you might already know it. It’s the final few lines of the Lord’s Prayer: “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.”
While Brown says he did attend Saturday’s game between No. 12 Florida (3-1) and Ole Miss (3-2), the minister says the sign, located on S.W. 2nd Avenue only a few blocks west of campus, has nothing do with Florida’s 31-30 loss to the Ole Miss Rebels.
“I’m going to pray that [Tebow] is true to his faith because if he falls and gets caught up in some kind of scandal it will be bad for Christianity,” Brown said.
As you’re probably aware, Dallas’ Josh Howard has been on some kind of roll — ‘fessing up to pot smoking, party planning in the midst of a playoff loss, drag-racing, etc. But no single act made the Mavericks small forward as much of a national pariah than his widely circulated diss of “The Star Spangled Banner”, and on Monday, Howard capitulated to public hysteria — much of it racist in nature — by making a full apology at a morning news conference. From the Dallas Morning News’ Eddie Sefko.
“I know that’s not me,” Howard said. “I love this country. If it wasn’t for this country, I wouldn’t be out here playing basketball. For me to have that opportunity is the greatest.
“That’s not me. That’s not Josh Howard. That was an idiot.”
Howard was speaking to media members for the first time since his July rant at a charity event. When “The Star-Spangled Banner” was playing, he said that he doesn’t celebrate the song because he’s black. The video eventually made it onto YouTube.
On the eve of training camp, he said he wished he could retract those words, and that he looks forward to being able to show fans who have clamored for the Mavericks to get rid of him that he is not a bad guy.
“I apologize to everybody I’ve offended,” the 6-7 forward said. “I’m upset with myself and the way I’ve acted. It was just me joking around. I just wasn’t using my head. I learned that words really do hurt and you are held accountable for what you said.
“I went to military school. I have friends that serve in the military. I know how it is to wake up and salute the flag. In the national anthem every game, I have my hand over my heart. It was just me not thinking.”
Yesterday’s event could’ve been an opportunity for Howard to elaborate on the many reasons why someone — black or otherwise — might not want to recognize the national anthem. Regardless of how the session might’ve been stage managed by the Mavericks, I can’t find fault with Howard wishing to repair his damaged public reputation. If he sincerely meant his remarks during the flag-football game to be a bit of a goof rather than a genuine political protest, that seems reasonable enough, too. Of greater concern to Dallas fans oughta be what sort of progress, if any, Howard will make playing his first full season alongside Jason Kidd — a player who has never faced the sort of invective aimed at Howard, despite actions far more reprehensible than blowing off the anthem.
As part of New York Magazine’s 40th Anniversary, a number of NYC sports-thinker types of considerable repute were asked to select their Top Ten New York Athletes of the past four decades. Along with expert testimony from the likes of Mike Lupica and Christopher Russo, another Big Apple fixture, former Deadspin editor Will Leitch — when you think of Gotham, you think of Will — contributed the following :
1. Reggie Jackson
In his first game back in the Bronx after he signed with the Angels, Yankee Stadium chanted his name. They wouldn’t even do that for Jeter.
Really? If Darryl Strawberry, Patrick Ewing and Mark Messier all received standing ovations the first time they returned to New York in a different uniform, why is it so hard to believe a 4 time World Champ like Jeter wouldn’t receive similar treatment?
2. Lawrence Taylor
Dominating, gruesome, monstrous, awesome, and would have been even better if he weren’t high so often. That he was makes him even more of a terrifying, otherworldly force of nightmares.
We’ve already established that Will has some issues with black people, but with all due respect to L.T.’s defensive prowess, it’s kinda fucked up to describe him as “gruesome, monstrous” without acknowledging he might’ve been pretty sharp, too. Did Mark Gastineau have the presence of mind to send hookers to opponents’ hotel rooms?
7. Dwight Gooden
Hard to separate him from Darryl Strawberry; they were the only two people who could make you forget anyone played baseball in the Bronx.
Actually, Will, Straw and Dr. K were very easy to separate. For instance, one played right field and hit monstrous (whoops) home runs, the other was the most exciting young pitcher since Mark Fidyrch or Fernando Valenzuela. “The only two people who could make you forget anyone played baseball in the Bronx?” For the first time, someone has the guts to claim Fritz Peterson’s star power overshadowed Tom Seaver.
10. Pelé
When he entered Studio 54, the place actually went quiet with awe.
The same could be said of Lillian Carter. When she wasn’t wearing panties, anyway. But I’ve got to stand up for Leitch’s credibility on this one. He’s not old enough to have attended the original Studio 54, and while I’m not either, I’m certain a past-his-prime Pele being recognized in a nightclub is a far greater testament to his iconic status than any of his accomplishments on the soccer pitch. Had I been asked to compile such a top ten, Anthony Mason would’ve ranked high simply because someone told me he tipped well at the China Club.
(Metal Mike and Tom Terrific, acknowledging the cheers of Sam Championungrateful jerks Flushing’s adoring fans)
There’s so much blame to go around after the New York Mets’ 2nd consecutive September collapse ; David Wright, Joe Smith, Jeff Wilpon, Tony Bernazard, Joe McEwing, Kevin Elster, Gregg Jeffries, Rusty Staub…..tell me when to stop, please. Former SportsChannel mouthpiece Ted Robinson, however, suggests a group addition to the above list ; Shea Stadium’s paying customers. From MSNBC.com (link swiped from Repoz and Baseball Think Factory) :
What struck me most Friday was the negativity. Florida scored two runs in the first inning and the rest of the night was mired in a cloud of gloom.
Yes, the economy is part of the reason. Shea Stadium crowds are always littered with Wall Streeters and last Friday night seemed to have a large percentage of those who were blowing off steam and getting Heinekenized and Budweisered.
Before the game I saw Mets general manager Omar Minaya and told him something that appeared in this blog last September — I believe the Mets would have made the playoffs last year if they had played the final week on the road. I still believe that and double down on the thought this year.
By Sunday, I was back in California for the best seat available on baseball’s best day — my couch with DirecTV. As I flipped between games at Shea Stadium, Milwaukee, Minnesota and Chicago, I was struck by the enthusiasm in three parks. Only Shea Stadium didn’t offer its team an obvious home-field advantage.
A stadium whose character was defined by its occupants rather than its structure was closed in grand style. The Mets lone member of the Hall of Fame, Seaver, and his eventual partner in Cooperstown, Piazza, teamed as the battery for the final pitch and walked together out the centerfield gate.
All the while most of the sellout crowd stayed and cheered. It was wonderful, yet bizarre. They love their team, the National League heritage started by the Dodgers and Giants when they played in New York, and the great players who have worn the orange and blue. But the fans seem to love the players more after the fact, more after they are through playing.
During my years as a broadcaster for the Mets, I wondered why the booing at Shea Stadium was so vicious. I have heard such booing often during the final Mets games of the last two seasons. After Sunday’s game – which turned out to be the last ever at Shea Stadium — I heard cheers. And I can’t help but wonder why over my years of watching the Mets I had not heard them more often.
(Four Swings, 16 RBI: Alexei Ramirez, The Grand-Slammingest Rookie In Baseball)
Update (Top 5th) : Sox 1 Tigers 1 With the whole season on the line, Gavin Floyd just delivered big. To get out of the fifth with runners on first and third and one out, Floyd dealt a neckbreaking curve that not only sent Granderson back to the dugout but kept Octavio Dotel in the bullpen.
Update: (Top 6th) With 95 pitches, Floyd faces Maggs…punches him out looking..Miguel Cabrera up…0-2..1-2..line drive double to L Ctr gap..105 pitches…in the dirt, AJ holds on to the pierogi…line drive straight to Uribe who sucks it up two down…Ryan Raeburn up…taps a dribbler to Floyd who drops the ball then overthrows to Konerko, TWO E1s, Cabrera scores…Det 2 Sox 1…Ozzie’s leaving him in…Inge up…2-0…now an IW…two runners on, two out. C Dusty Ryan up…2-2…swing and a miss for Floyd’s 8th K…
UPDATE: Bot 6th in for Cle: Bobby Seay to face Jim Thome..Dye at first, no out…Thome struck out and I just noticed I lost a bunch of this blog post…well, we’ll live…Bobby Seay IWs Konerko with 1 out and Dye on second…two on, one out, and one Ken Griffey, Jr. is at the plate…Cle 2 Sox 2…1-0..amost the third Cleveland wild pitch in this game ends up as ball 2…3-0…take your base, you magnificent .342 OPS questionable acquisition…bags juiced for Alexei…SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM SLAM Alexei Ramirez has sent Gary Glover’s flat heater ten rows back in center…Sox 6 Det 2…AJ with a standup double and Alexei has broken the White Sox Major League Baseball rookie record with 4 Grand Slams…Cuba Libre!
UPDATE: Top 7: Floyd Out, Matt Thornton in as Steve Stone leaves the broadcast booth for religious reasons, happy new year Stoney…hell, Happy New Year as well to GC, David Roth, Ben Schwartz, Jon Solomon, and whatever other CSTB Red Sea Pedestrians I forgot….hey, who’s gonna read this now, anyway?…Thornton out after giving up a hit, it’s Octavio Dotel with a four-run lead…which Dotel will we get? The kind we need grand slams to endure, no doubt…although last outing was the only bright spot in a mauling at the hands of Cleveland liveblogged in these very pages…facing Sheff with Granderson at second…2-2…line drive right to Brian Anderson, two out…Maggs up…2-2…Dotel showing control…hit the corner, didnt get the call…3-2…fly to Dye Tigers buh-bye.
UPDATE:Bot 7: Wise flies out, Dye to Maggs at the track, 2 out…paging Jim Thome, Jim Thome to the plate…3-2…K. Dare I worry about gentleman Jim in tomorrow’s playoff against the Twins? Dare I shut my goddamn mouth?
UPDATE: Top 8: Linebrink punches out Cabrera on a check swing..Thames up…swings at a strike 3 dirtball, two out…Raeburn up..Linebrink is definitely dealing, got a serious cut and is owning the upper zone..splitter falls off the table like broccoli for the dog…grounder up the middle. Damn you Ryan Raeburn and your gameshow-host last name…Inge up…got him looking!
UPDATE: Bot 8: 4-1 3.48 Aquilino Llllllllopez is in to face Paulie , Fly 7 out…Anderson up…one more dirtball for a frantic Dusty Ryan, who by now is actually as well as putatively Dusty…inside slider strike 3…Alexei up to madhouse cheers…the Cuban Missile goes 1-2…shovels out another dirtball off the mound to a bobbling Santiago for a single…AJ is up…Alexei steals second on Ryan, who, after taking off his mask looks like he just bought Wachovia stock this morning… AJ doubles down 1B line, Alexei scores Cle 2 Sox 7 …Juan Uribe up and ANOTHER wild pitch for #3 advancing AJ to 3rd…Uribe taps a nubber to Raeburn who bobbles and Uribe reaches on an E4…AJ scores….Cle 2 Sox 8…Cabrera strikes out swinging
UPDATE: Top 9: DJ Carrasco is behind the steel wheels…Jeff Larish in for the emotionally devastated Dusty Ryan strikes out swinging…Santiago…Carrasco’s segue from “Dayvan Cowboy” to Ted Nugent’s “Stranglehold” confuses Santiago and he strikes out swinging…Granderson flies out to center an the WHITE SOX ARE TIED FOR THE LEAD IN THE AL CENTRAL.
Hey…is that champagne you guys? You guys up there in the Metrodome? Yeah, that’s champagne, isn’t it? Heh. Yeah, I wouldn’t pop those corks just yet, not when you’ve got a business meeting in Chicago tomorrow. You guys remember how to play ball in a real ballpark? It might come in handy if you did.
(since photos of Scott Linehan are generally a dull affair, instead we’ll gaze lovingly at a snapshot of his brothers Brock and Brian).
A: “Trent Green is my starting quarterback.” In a move that surprised absolutely no one, the winless St. Louis Rams today relieved Scott Linehan of his head coaching duties today, but to the dismay of the Post-Dispatch’s Jeff Gordon, promoted defensive coordinator Jim Haslett (”not a great or terrible choice, just OK”) to the top position.
Haslett, alone, must take responsibility for the dreadful performance of the Rams’ defensive unit. He is lucky to still have a job, much less a better one.
His status has been a popular topic here at STLtoday.com for the past few weeks, while we all waited for Rosenbloom to finally pull the plug on hapless Linehan.
Many fans weren’t interested in Haslett’s potential as Linehan’s short-term successor. Fans wanted him to catch the same cab that awaited the head coach.
The Rams defense wasn’t buying whatever Haslett was selling this season. Again and again, the group collapsed. Physically, tactically and emotionally, his defense was unprepared to succeed.
This is a big opportunity for Haslett. If he can coax some wins out of this group, he will revive his own head-coaching prospects. His reputation took a beating during the last 20 games as the Rams degenerated into the laughingstock of the league.
If Haslett can get anything from a team that has lost 17 of 20 games, this organization and others will take notice.
Let’s hope for his sake -– and the sake of long-suffering fans -– he makes the most of an opportunity he really didn’t earn.
For instance, much as I’ve enjoyed negotiating Memphis’ highways and byways en route to the airport today, for once in my life I’d have rather been listening to Joe Benigno-Gazingo.
(Joe B.G., cheering an erroneous internet report that Scott Schoeneweis had been eaten by an anaconda)
The emotional roller coaster of the Mets’ elimination coupled with The NY Bretts dropping a half century plus on the Cardinals should — by all reasonable expectations — be the chain of events to finally finish the broadcaster for once and all.
(Sound check’s at three and two drink tickets per musician)
Tensions are high along the Illinois-Wisconsin border following the Milwaukee Brewers’ September 28th clinching of the National League Wild Card. Chicago musician Ted Wulfers was the first to fall victim to the regional instability when he was expelled from a long-running performance engagement at a Milwaukee TGI Fridays.
Jason George of the Chicago Tribune reports:
Ted Wulfers never thought that singing Steve Goodman’s “Go Cubs Go” could get you fired, but that’s just what happened to the Chicago musician over the weekend. Wulfers was scheduled to perform Sunday at a TGI Friday’s inside Milwaukee’s Miller Park. But he was uninvited last week. The reason? The last time Wulfers performed there in July, he played “Go Cubs Go” after a Cubs victory over the Brewers.
It was not taken kindly by the Brewers fans,” said a spokeswoman for TGI Friday’s. “Friday’s and the Brewers made the decision not to have this band back this year.”
Wulfers, who sang the national anthem in May at Miller Park, said he had no idea Brewers fans would be upset with “just one chorus” from “Go Cubs Go.”
“Basically I had compared this to playing ‘Free Bird’—the crowd just kept asking for it,” he said, while conceding the crowd was mostly Cubs fans.
“I understand the Brewers are trying to fight for the wild card,” Wulfers said before Milwaukee beat the Cubs on Sunday to secure a playoff spot. “I’m just kind of the guy being kicked in the backside for no reason. I’ve been a Cubs fan and a Brewers fan all my life.”
SI.com’s Jon Heyman reports the Mets are finally going to remove the interim tag from manager Jerry Manuel. Hey, if the Amazins’ inability to get the job done against the likes of Florida, Washington and Atlanta this month was worthy of contract extension, can you imagine what actually making the playoffs would’ve earned the skipper? Maybe an extension, plus a pair of old Shea seats?
Manuel is expected to be approached to hammer out a new contract in the next day or two. The Mets again failed to make the playoffs after losing 4-2 to the Marlins on the final day of the season. But Manuel’s bosses believe he did an excellent job under trying circumstances, including late-season injuries to closer Billy Wagner and starter John Maine and an overall bullpen breakdown. The Mets were 55-38 under Manuel after starting 34-35 under Willie Randolph.
“I told Jerry we’re going to have a decision sooner rather than later,” general manager Omar Minaya said. ‘He’s done a very good job, and we’re going to sit down and talk about it.”
The Mets lost 12 of their final 17 games last year to blow a seven-game lead with Randolph as manager. This year they were 7-10 over their final 17 games.
Mets owner Jeff Wilpon said, “I feel totally different than last year. I think last year we underachieved. This year we overachieved.”
I don’t have a problem with Manuel being lauded, far from it. But it does feel as though the organization is trying to pre-empt criticism by putting a happy face on what many fans consider to be Choke : The Sequel. Everyone expects Jerry Manuel to be back next spring. Of greater concern might be whether or not anyone is accountable for Scott Schoeneweis being handed the baseball 72 times.
In a do-or-die bid, Mark Buehrle did. He smothered the Tribe for the Sox’ first win in six games to try and force a tiebreaker with the Twins. Tomorrow the Pale Hose must face the Tigers at home to make up a Sept. 14th rainout. A Sox victory over the Tigers will put them in a tie for the AL Central with the Twins and force a one-game playoff on Tuesday, also at home. As of this writing, the Tigers may start former South Sider Freddy Garcia, which would force the Sox to light up the winning pitcher of their own 2005 World Series Game 4. There could be worse prospects given that Garcia was shelled by KC last week in his second start since shoulder surgery in 2007.
During today’s final trip to the Cell for the season, I couldn’t help but be floored by the 39 years of consummate professionalism provided by Sox organist Nancy Faust. Take the following quiz for a trip into the musical mind of a national treasure.
Match the Cleveland Indian with the Nancy Faust musical tag. Answers are below.
* There should be some kind of award handed out for Ms. Fausts’ incredible stretch in this one for the Cleveland catcher tying in the 1973 Robert DeNiro star turn in Bang The Drum Slowly, the story of a troubled backstop not named Jeff Torborg.
“You have to understand, there is a co-ordination going on between Andy Reid and his mind, because he is making all the decisions.” – Jim Fassel, as heard this evening on Westwood One’s radio broadcast of Philly’s visit to Solider Field. (thanks to David Williams)
HBR: If you had to rank the 5 most famous goalie masks of all time, which 5 would you choose?
Jim Hynes: That’s tough: The first Jacques Plante mask is known by so many, heck, it’s a Heritage Minute. Same for Terry Sawchuk: he wore the one mask forever. Tony Esposito’s mask was worn by a few others, including Plante, but anyone who sees it will say “Tony O”. Next would be the Gerry Cheevers stitches mask. Even non-hockey fans know about it. Among the modern masks I’ll give the nod to Eddie Belfour. You see the eagle, yo know it’s Eddie.
HBR – Who has the best paint job today?
Jim Hynes: I’m not a huge fan of the wild, modern paint job. Plus some goalies seem to change them every 6 months now. I have a soft spot for Marty Biron’s Great Gaston lumberjack mask and I liked Christobal Huet’s ghosts masks before he was traded to Washington…but that might just be the French Canadian Habs fanatic in me talking.
HBR – Which goalie mask design is your favorite?
Jim Hynes: Ken Dryden’s first mask is a favourite. I was 6 in 1971 and can remember thinking how weird that masks was. I guess you could call it a modified pretzel-type–certainly one of a kind. I don’t know how safe it was though. I like the way some of the bars are taped together.
(members of the 89-73 New York Mets try to contain their excitement during postgame festivities that included video highlights of each Black 47 concert from Shea’s legendary Ethnic Heritage Nights)
Does a team with a 12-13 mark in September have any business ruing a playoff miss? How about a club with the vaunted production of Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carlos Beltran and Carlos Delgado scoring a combined 5 runs over the course of 3 must-win games? While Jerry Manuel deserves considerable credit for funny press conferences turning the Mets’ season around, the fact remains his squad was beaten by a nose to the Wild Card by a Milwaukee side that fired their manager two weeks ago. Really, let the freezing fucking cold winter of recriminations begin, and since I can’t find any members of the Mets relief corps at the moment, I’ll instead consider the status of Omar Minaya, he of the recent 4 year contract extension.
Minaya has now presided over a pair of late season folds, and if he’s gonna receive bouquets and job security for promoting Manuel, the question oughta be raised whether or not Gangsta Jerry was sent into battle with inadequate ammo. That both of the Mets 2008 manager were provided without a Plan B in place for the loss of Moises Alou and routinely had to endure the torture of watching Aaron Heilman, Pedro Feliciano, Duaner Sanchez, etc. falter, is squarely on club management and ownership. It’s pretty hard to get psyched up for keying Luis Ayala’s car (but go on, twist my arm, I’m free all week) — at what point did any of us close our eyes and believe he’d morphed into Trevor Hoffman?
At one stage earlier this month, the Mets dropped 3 of 4 to a pair of teams (Braves, Nationals) a combined EIGHT THOUSAND games out of contention. They managed barely any offense this weekend against a foe with absolutely nothing to play for besides pride. Well, that and the satisfaction of giving Wally Matthews a boner.
These Florida Marlins are becoming awfully adept at ruining the final day of the Mets’ regular season. If Hank Steinbrenner were in charge, you can be sure he’d already be on the phone to next year’s schedule makers.
Christian Abbiati, 31, an Italian international, said: “I am not ashamed to proclaim my political beliefs. I share [the] ideals of fascism, such as the fatherland and the values of the Catholic religion.”
The player’s remarks, published today in Sportweek magazine, come amid debate over Italy’s fascist past and rightwing present under the leadership of AC Milan’s billionaire chairman.
The minority partner in Berlusconi’s parliamentary alliance, the Freedom People, is a party spun out of the country’s neo-fascist movement. Some members remain unabashed apologists for the dictatorship of Benito Mussolini.
The defence minister, Ignazio La Russa, sparked a row this month after he paid tribute to Italian soldiers who fought alongside German troops in the second world war. His comments came after the mayor of Rome, Gianno Alemanno, told a magazine he did not consider fascism an “absolute evil”. Berlusconi dodged a question on his own views, replying: “I think only of working to resolve the problems of the Italian people.”
“When the whole Russian thing went on here, the Philadelphia Flyers and the Spectrum managed to chase a whole political system out of the building, not just a team,” he said. “They chased communism out of the building.”
Considering the Core StatesFirst Union Wachovia Center may yet have a new name, I suggest the ‘08-’09 Flyers also dedicate themselves to beating up on failed political or economic systems. Too bad Merritt Paulson doesn’t own a hockey team.
[Is Angel Guzman, pictured, the Mets last best hope?]
Mets fans, please send “thank you” notes to Mr. Lou Piniella, c/o Wrigley Field. For reasons I don’t want to worry about – such as Carlos Zambrano’s undead arm returning for the post-season – the Cubs have announced that all that stands between the Brewers’ CC Sabbathia and another win tomorrow is Angel Guzman – not Zambrano. “He’s 0-7 in 32 career games. Maybe Sunday, he’ll get a win,” says the Cubs’ Carrie Muskat, in a bit if uncharacteristic sabre-rattling. Muskat reassures Mets fans with the following, headlined, “Guzman Standing in Brewers’ Way”:
The Cubs will have a 20-something right-handed Venezuelan on the mound Sunday, but it’s not who you think.
Angel Guzman will start for Chicago in the final regular-season game, which has much more meaning for the Brewers than the Cubs. Milwaukee is tied with the New York Mets for the National League Wild Card lead, and whatever happens Sunday could determine who the Cubs will face in the NL Division Series, which begins Wednesday at Wrigley Field.
If both the Mets and Brewers win Sunday, they will have a one-game tiebreaker game Monday at Shea Stadium. If the Mets win, and the Brewers lose, the Cubs will play the Mets in the NLDS. If the Brewers win the Wild Card, the Cubs will play the Los Angeles Dodgers.
“It’s amazing how you play 161 games and it comes down to the last game,” Cubs manager Lou Piniella said. “It’s unbelievable.”
Before Saturday’s game, a 7-3 Chicago win, Piniella said Carlos Zambrano would start in the series finale and most likely go only two innings. The last time Zambrano pitched at Miller Park, he made history, throwing a no-hitter Sept. 14 against the Houston Astros. The game had been relocated to Milwaukee from Houston because of Hurricane Ike.
Asked what he’d do if Zambrano didn’t give up a hit over his two innings, Piniella laughed. More important, Zambrano probably would have insisted on at least one at-bat before he was pulled.
“I might as well hit him fourth,” Piniella said.
That’s old news. After Saturday’s game, Guzman was announced as the starter. The young right-hander underwent Tommy John ligament replacement surgery on his right elbow last August and has overcome shoulder surgery as well. He’s 0-7 in 32 career games. Maybe Sunday, he’ll get a win.
The Maker’s Mark and Blue Moon have been choppered in. The Ricobone’s with Spinach is on board. The liveblog… begins
2nd: Sox 1 Indians 1: While I was out discovering that my neighborhood liquor store had closed its doors, Shin-Soo Choo launched one in the first, but was answered immediately in the bottom frame by Jermaine Dye. Meanwhile up in Twinkieland, the Twins are again down against the Royals 4-2 and Joe Mauer just hit into his second double play in the bottom of the 9th courtesy of The Mexecutioner Joakim Soria….
UPDATE: Twins LOSE 4-2. Mexecution couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of fellas. (Tied for) first place feels pretty good again.
UPDATE: (Top 4th) Choo has a great look on Javy, just sent one to the warning track in right but Dye pulled it in. K number five for Javy – buh-bye Jhonny Peralta – another 3-up-3-down inning for Mr. Relaxation.
UPDATE: (Bot 4th) …and Jhermaine’s got an equally good look on Zach Jhackson, threatening at the track. These two should get a room. Jackson’s (6.12 ERA) got good heat and the Sox haven’t seen him before. Just announced: Cliff Lee has been SCRATCHED for tomorrow’s start vs the Sox. Eric Wedge, the beer’s on me at the next Pere Ubu gig…Konerko just went to the track too. The forecast is for fireworks tonight.
UPDATE: (Top 5th) Garko singles up the middle…Dellucci walks, first BB for Vazquez…1 out…Javy goes 3-0 on Ben Francisco who rolls one past Juan “How Much For Parking?” Uribe – bases loaded, one out. Asdrubal Cabrera puts an inside fastball down the first base line for a bases-clearing double…Cle 4 Sox 1…but even worse, there’s activity in the bullpen. Where’s the bourbon? Jamey Carroll up…hey, a two-run double! Cle 6 Sox 1! Amid the boos, Ozzie found the bullpen, and I found the bourbon. Mmmm, bourbon. Javy out, Clayton Richard gives up another gapper …7-1 Indians…You know, the thing I admire the most about borbon is the vanilla notes in the flavor, it’s almost like having an ice-cream cone but you can’t feel your face…Garko forces Come Back Jhonny out at second and this 6R 6H 2B inning is now over. Face: can still kind of feel it.
UPDATE: (Bot 5th) AJ with a 1-out line drive single up the middle. So is this payback for the 2005 September where the Chisox almost choked their gi-normous division lead but took the last series to clinch against an almost identical Indians team? All I know for sure is this: you gotta let Ronald be Ronald. Clayton Richard: you got out of the inning. Don’t trip over Javy’s suitcase back there.
UPDATE: (Bot 6th) Brian Anderson walks…Dye srikes out looking. It is nothing short of astonishing that this tired bunch of millionaires can’t even manage to get eliminated tonight. Goddammit, lead, follow, or get me another Maker’s neat.
UPDATE: (Bot 7th) Solo bomb from Konerko. Cle 7 Sox 2. Remember that scene in The Bad Lieutennant where Harvey Ketel is watching the NLCS and Darryl Strawberry turns in one of his “patented moon shots”…to make it 11-2 Dodgers? Fists….in the air….
UPDATE: (Top 8th) Richard out, Lance Broadway in. Impromptu staging of “Cats” takes place in living room. Broadway gets into the mood by giving up a double to Garko, driving in Martinez. Cle 8 Sox 2. Actual cats not amused. Face: numb.
UPDATE: (Bot 8th) At some point during the Tony awards, RHP Brendan Donnelly took the bump…Juan Uribe reaches by beating a roller up the 1B line…Carbrera sends a wicked slice double down the RF foul line, Uribe on 3rd..Dewayne Wise up…Donnelly’s stuff is on the dead side..3-2…struck out looking. Dye sac flies to Choo in right, Uribe beats the throw for RBI #91 Cle 8 Sox 3…out goes Donnelly, in comes LHP Rafael Perez to face Jim Thome with Cabrera on third…2-2…fastball smacked to the left drives in Cabrera – Cle 8 Sox 4…Jensen Lewis in to face Konerko with one on…FIRST PITCH — POW 2 RUN SHOT TO RIGHT — PAULIE’S SECOND FOR THE NIGHT! Cle 8 Sox 6…replay looks like a changeup, drifed inside…Alexei singles on an E5 off of Carroll’s glove to bring the tying run to the plat…AJ up, 1-2 count…Ozzie yelling about Lewis balking, high fly to Sizemore in center…3 outs. Face: very numb, slightly moist.
UPDATE: (Top 9th) Welcome to the mound Scott Linebrink, who looked very much like his old self in oe of the few bright spots against Minnesota..Asdrubal Cabrera singles a chest-high slider under Konerko’s glove…Sizemore singles up the middle nearly decapitating Linebrink…Carroll lays down a 5-4 sac bunt, followed by ihntentional whalk of Choo…bags juiced..for Jhonny Peralta…fhuck. Perlata line drives to left to score Cabrera…Cle 9 Chi 6...bases loaded, Matt Thornton in, line drive single scores Sizemore…Cle 10 Sox 6…I’m sure I’d feel much worse if I wasn’t so heavily sedated…Franklin Guttierez in for Delucci, what are you worried, Wedge?…anotehr line drive to right, drives in two. Cle 12 Sox 6.
“This has a chance to be the final soundtrack at Shea: jeers, curses and various expressions of anguish as Mets runners on third never score” scoffed the NY Post’s Joel Sherman after Friday’s dispiriting 6-1 loss to Florida. Some 14 hours later, the Schizo Mets remain alive for at least one more day after Johan Santana made Shea’s penultimate game one of the most memorable in franchise history. Pitching on three days rest after throwing 125 pitches against Chicago on Tuesday, Santana’s 3 hit shutout of the Marlins earlier today was the sort of heroic performance even the most delusional Mets fans wouldn’t have dared imagine. The talismanic Venezulean starter — who might cost Tim Lincecum and Brandon Webb a few first place Cy Young Votes — whiffed 10 and walked just 3 in an electrifying outing that will hopefully inspire some greater concentration on the part of Oliver Perez tomorrow afternoon. And at the risk of sounding terribly morbid, short of rendering Shea’s closing day meaningless, what could be more distasteful (or appropriate) than having the entire season riding on the back of the enigmatic Ollie?
As of this writing, Ted Lilly hasn’t allowed a baserunner in Milwaukee, with the Cubs leading the Brewers, 4-0 after 5 1/2. Supposedly, Carlos Zambrano will start for Chicago tomorrow, and keep in mind he’s got a hitless innings streak of his own happening at Miller Park.
There’s hardly been a shortage of fine performances at Gonerfest 5 thus far ; under normal hit-or-miss rock fest circumstances, the Sic Alps’ reverb-soaked set Thursday night would’ve been a gig-of-the-year contender (please, save the “you must not go out very often” chatter for someone else — I go out all the time, I just have much lower standards then you). But much like the fateful auditions for the voice of Poochy The Rockin’ Dog, the Sic Alps have been forced to relinquish the crown of The World’s Greatest Band (Of The Past 48 Hours) in favor of the London trio Black Time.
To paraphrase Giuseppe Franco, I don’t have anything to do with Black Time. I don’t know a thing about them. But I do know that unless or until the Scanlon/Hanley X 2/Burns/M.E.S lineup of the Fall reforms, I’m unlikely to see an English band (or perhaps a human band) so totally locked-in. I don’t know of many bands under the age of 100 that could’ve held their own alongside Chain Gang, the Panther Burns in their prime or the first couple of Flesh Eaters incarnations, but I’m not exaggerating when I claim Black Time are the perfect antidote to feed whichever of your friends complain about contemporary music sucking. I’ve got a couple of (borderline) pals like that, and if they don’t make it to Emo’s on Monday to see Black Time, the Cola Freaks and the No No No Hopes, at the very least, I’ll know who to delete from my social networking buddy list.
No disrespect is intended towards those who prefer Newman’s portrayals of “Fast” Eddie Felson or Luke Jackson, but the late thespian will be best remembered at Chez CSTB for his nuanced performance as player/coach Reggie Dunlop in George Roy Hill’s “Slapshot” (1977).
A so-called “exclusive” report by WFTS- Ch. 28 that OF Rocco Baldelli has muscular dystrophy is “erroneous,” according to Dr. Allan Weiss, who has been treating Baldelli.
“The report is erroneous,” Weiss said in comments relayed through the team. “It is incorrect terminology. He has mitochondrial myopathy, not muscular dystrophy.”
Asked directly before Friday’s game if he had muscular dystrophy, Baldelli said, “No.” And of the report, he said, “That’s awful.”
Rays president Matt Silverman issued a statement calling the report “irresponsible” and requesting an apology to the Baldelli family: “The report issued by WFTS-TV Channel 28 is irresponsible and erroneous. We expect an immediate retraction and an apology to Rocco and his family.”
WFTS touted the story by Wendy Ryan on its website (abcactionnews.com) and in a press release with the headline: EXCLUSIVE: Rays Rocco Baldelli disgnosed with Muscular Dystrophy.”
(Above: Joe Morgan delivers a withering diss to Rawly Eastwick)
Although the KC Royals obligingly restored a semblance of order to the Twin Cities blooperdome by administering an 8-1 pounding to the Twins, the hapless White Sox immediately squandered the opportunity to regain the division lead, surrendering 11-8 at home to the Indians.
John Danks (11-9) made it four innings with 7 hits and 5Ks but leading 4-3, gave up a two-run single to Shin-Soo Choo, prompting a haggard Ozzie to reach for what Joe Morgan this year dubbed “the best bullpen ever”. Unfortunately, Hang The DJ Carrasco’s immediate walk of Jhonny Peralta to load the bases loomed large over the facile Fox announcer’s June 29th estimation. At the time, the South Side appreciated Joe apparently forgetting he played on the ‘75 Big Red Machine, but we couldn’t remain in denial forever. Or even for one more batter – Morgan’s superlative was sent over the wall forever along with a Ryan Garko grand slam of a 1-0 Carrasco doucheball. The Indians went up 9-4 and never looked back.
According to the handy-dandy AL Central Outcome Matrix, the Sox could drop both games this weekend and still not be out of it as long as the Twins follow suit, forcing a Monday makeup with Detroit and a possible one-game playoff with the Twins. My head hurts. It’s Zach Jackson vs Javy “Big Game” Vazquez tonight. Although it’s against the basic principles of animal husbandry, I will stand by this team in its grave misery and live blog my way to its denoument. MacBook Pro keyboards can handle tears and bourbon, right?
(above, Ichiro’s would be new-look, inspired by Derek Erdman’s “STRANGLED: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders”)
I’ll spare you a proper introduction of myself with a simple statement: I quit smoking on Monday and am now on day five of The Patch. The process has been brutal, and I probably haven’t been the nicest guy over this past week. Numerous times I have caught myself snapping at co-workers, family and friends throughout, and while part of me feels kinda bad about my behavior, last night I received my punishment by having fallen asleep with The Patch on. During this turbulent sleep I was subject to the most unpleasant dreams, the most memorable of which involved a string of friends and acquaintances visiting my home in Silicon Valley, performing some kind of Trojan-horse home invasion, and submitting me to all kinds of humiliation and cruelty that I won’t detail here on my first posting on CSTB, but let me say that the premature aging, heart disease, cancer and yellow teeth which go along with smoking seemed appealing by comparison. …Anyway, that said, I was surprised to find my outlandish semi-conscious hallucinations to have a very similar storyline to an alleged situation taking place in my beloved Seattle Mariners’ clubhouse. Per Geoff Baker in Thursday’s Seattle Times:
“I just can’t believe the number of guys who really dislike him,” said one clubhouse insider. “It got to a point early on when I thought they were going to get together and go after him.” The coaching staff and then-manager John McLaren intervened when one player was overheard talking – in reference to Ichiro – about wanting to “knock him out.” A team meeting was called to clear the air. It was a repeat of May 2007, when Mike Hargrove was in charge and a team meeting had to be called during a series at Tampa Bay because of clubhouse bickering over Ichiro being a “selfish” player.
As a avid and loyal fan of the Mariners, I can confirm with certainty that there 20 or 21 Mariner players who should be knocked out, and none of them are Ichiro. The lack of quote attribution forces me to speculatively associate said quote with simpering Mariner tough-guy mediocrites Jerrod Washburn and/or Willie “Ballgame” Bloomquist, but for fuck’s sake, put a tent on this circus.
Mariner Manager Jim Riggleman displays an uncanny clarity in an ESPN and Seattle Times follow up as follows:
“We’ve lost so many games, so these types of things surface,” Riggleman said. “When the ship is sinking, the rats are the first ones off. They’re the ones scavenging everything on the ship when it’s going good, but when it’s sinking they’re the first ones off.”
On the bright side in Mariner-land, the M’s have a magic number of 2 in the Strasberg sweepstakes, aka the #1 pick, with the hard-charging Nationals trailing the Phillies 7-1 in the 2nd inning.
White Sox, you blew a five-run lead to get swept and lose first place. This time the guilty parties were not named Dotel, Wasserman, Richard, MacDougal or Logan. Orlando Cabrera, you talked a lot of shit. And you weren’t wrong. You’re an asshole, but you weren’t wrong. Confidential to Bobby Jenks and AJ: in the future, you might want to look into the possibilities of the 1-2 curve ball. Alexei, Dye, Thome, Konerko? Yeah, the season continues in September.
Oh, and speaking of Todd Jones: Carlos Gomez? You may well be the next Rickey Henderson, but that sniffing, nuzzling, batters-box intimacy with your equipment is completely unnecessary in this post-Stonewall era. You’re just not shocking anybody.
So what happens when you’re a baseball team that never gets what you deserve — and you deserve second place?
The possible AL Central outcomes for the Chisox are bewildering, although none includes Juan Uribe picking up his boat. The following helpful table is provided to guide the faithful through the matrix.
Courtesy of the Chicago Tribune:
If Twins win…
If White Sox win…
This happens
3 games
3 games
Sox play Detroit on Monday
3 games
2 games
Twins win Central
3 games
1 game
Twins win Central
3 games
0 games
Twins win Central
2 games
3 games
Sox play Detroit on Monday
2 games
2 games
Sox play Detroit on Monday
2 games
1 game
Twins win Central
2 games
0 games
Twins win Central
1 game
3 games
Sox win Central
1 game
2 games
Sox play Detroit on Monday
1 game
1 game
Sox play Detroit on Monday
1 game
0 games
Twins win Central
0 games
3 games
Sox win Central
0 games
2 games
Sox win Central
0 games
1 game
Sox play Detroit on Monday
0 games
0 games
Sox play Detroit on Monday
If it turns out that the Sox must play Detroit on Monday in Chicago, there are four possible outcomes:
• If Sox go in 1/2 game ahead and win, Sox win Central.
• If Sox go in 1/2 game ahead and lose, Sox play Minnesota on Tuesday.
• If Sox go in 1/2 game behind and win, Sox play Minnesota on Tuesday.
• If Sox go in 1/2 game behind and lose, Twins win Central.
Being shunned at Shea Stadium all week takes a lot of time out of one’s blogging schedule, which is why CSTB’s SMD (Special Mascot Division) is a little late to the party on the top news stories of the week.
Firstly, FIFA is pleased to announce a glam-leopard of some variety as the 2010 World Cup Mascot. His or her name Zakumi, which in assorted African languages means “ten pizzas”. In loving gestures towards the sport, Zakumi has a sort of pentagonal-shaped eczema on his or her forehead, and his or her mane appears to be styled by cleats.
Secondly, those (perhaps the Mets’ relief pitchers) looking for a fallback career in the current economic downturn may wish to consider a move to scenic Oakland, California: auditions are now open for Stomper. Admittedly an elephant isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when one tries to envision the living, polyurethane, clowning equivalent of “Athletic”, but it’s at least as good a leap of marketing logic as the five anthropomorphic penises the Pennsylvania Lottery picked to represent its new Quinto lottery game. Thank you to the Keystone State for reawakening a horror not thought upon since the Ziploc Finger Man campaign of the early ’90s.
I’m in Memphis in the midst of something with no genuine CSTB relation (hence all the posts to come on the subject), but I was fortunate enough to hear Howie Rose kick Stephane Mathieu-Mathieu-Mathieu to the comparitive curb with his fantastic account of the Mets’ 7-6 defeat of the Cubs last night. Gary Cohen receives many favorable notices around these parts, and rightfully so. But there are times where Rose’s lifelong love of the Mets is rewarded with a crazy moment or 3 — much like Johan Santana’s broken bat miracle on Tuesday — and WFAN’s lead play-by-play guy rises to the occasion. I didn’t see the replays of Ryan Church’s bit of baserunning daring-do nor Carlos B.’s walk-off game winner for several hours last night, but thanks to the artful commentary of Rose, I didn’t feel like I got the bad part of the bargain.
Contemplating what might be the final game played at Shea Stadium this Sunday, Mets Blog’s Matthew Cerrone writes, “if Mike Piazza, Robin Ventura and Edgardo Alfonzo all roll up at the same time, i may react like they’re The Beatles.” With that in mind, I would respectfully ask the parole board to reconsider Mark David Chapman’s request to obtain Timo Perez’s autograph. Hey, if you think that’s tasteless, where’s the booing for Newsday’s Jim Baumbach? He’s proposed that Tom Glavine throw out Sunday’s ceremonial 80 mph “fastball” right down Broadway first pitch.
Point taken: during a play-off race and post-season planning, burning out one of your aces’ arms on 110 pitches for a possible no-hitter is a topic for discussion. Steve Stone, who burned out his own arm for a single season of glory in 1980, should know. Stoney’s heart is apparently still on the North Side as there doesn’t seem to be much going on in the South Side Hosiery Dept, so he found time to declare Lou Piniella a weak manager and Carlos Zambrano a “monster.” It’s completely blown out the real issue facing Chicago baseball fans this week: is 77-year-old Ernie Banks too old to adopt a kid? This Sun-Times “exclusive” from Roman Modrowski (I guess the Trib doesn’t have wi-fi yet) captures every manager’s best friend in prime Stoneyland:
Looks like ESPN analyst and former Mets GM Steve Phillips wasn’t the only one who didn’t think Lou Piniella should have let Carlos Zambrano finish that no-hitter on Sept. 14.
As Elliott Harris pointed out in today’s Quick Hits, Sox analyst Steve Stone was on Mike North’s Web show and echoed Phillips’ sentiments.They weren’t the only ones who thought that because Zambrano was coming off a missed start due to rotator cuff tendinitis, Piniella should have limited his pitch count. Zambrano threw 110 pitches in the no-hitter.”I don’t agree with allowing Zambrano to throw 110 pitches,” Stone said Tuesday on ”The Mike North Webio Show” on wildfirerestaurant.com. ”I don’t care if it’s a no-hitter. The only job that Lou Piniella has to do, and still has to do, is make sure his pitchers are ready.”I would have pulled him in the sixth. A manager is paid for some very tough decisions and no-hitters are delightful. You can always say you have a no-hitter.
”He is becoming Sammy [Sosa] Jr. They are creating another monster on the North Side.”This is a really talented guy, but so was Sosa.
But the point is, if you remain completely complicit, in guys you know in taking more and more, eventually the tail cannot wag the dog.”
Congratulations, Austin Police Deparment! Not only are you doing an awesome job thoroughly ignoring 8th thru 11th Streets just west of Red River most nights of the week (next to live music, independent car parking trolls are the Capitol’s fastest growing industry) but you successfully provided a pretext to which Bears GM Jerry Angelo could part ways with underachieving former Longhorn RB Cedric Benson. In addition to being cleared of all charges by a Travis County Grand Jury yesterday, the Stateman’s Suzanne Halliburton reports our Cedric will once again be cruising the Warehouse District.
Cedric Benson’s car no longer has an ignition lock breath alcohol tester on his steering wheel.
Sam Bassett, Benson’s lawyer, said Judge Elisabeth Earle signed the order Friday to remove the device. Earle had ordered the device to be added to Benson’s car back in June as a condition of his bail on three alcohol-related charges.
Aside from my wondering when Kirk Bohls might offer Benson an apology, might there be anyone in the Rams front office with the presence of mind to send Marc Bulger on an all-expenses-paid sojurn to Austin’s 6th Street cavalcade of douchebag emporiums entertainment establishments? As Benson’s case illustrates, there’s all sorts of ways of managing the salary cap.
(Heilman, earlier in 2008 before Joe Strummer’s estate requested that “London Calling” be replaced on the Shea tannoy with “Straight To Hell”)
Though there was no shortage of blame to go around following the Mets’ 9-6, 10 inning home loss to the Cubs Wednesday night (neither Oliver Perez nor Luis Ayala can be held responsible for squandering a Danny Murphy 9th inning lead off triple), it’s beyond obvious the extent to which the Mets have been victimized by baseball’s worst bullpen. “That the Mets remain in the hunt for a postseason berth despite Billy Wagner’s injury is something short of a miracle” writes Sports Illustrated’s Jay Jaffe, his hopeful tone tempered by the reminder, “they have lost 28 games in which they were either ahead or tied after six innings, the most in the majors.”
A quick peek at the individual numbers informs us that it’s not hard to recognize a systemic combination of overuse and ineffectiveness. Of the six relievers whom Jerry Manuel has called upon most frequently, five have second-half ERAs above 4.90: Ayala (5.54, including his Washington stint), Pedro Feliciano (6.38), Aaron Heilman (6.75), Duaner Sanchez (6.00), and Joe Smith (4.91); Scott Schoeneweis (4.50) is the exception. Excluding the late-arriving Ayala, that bunch has combined for 152 appearances in 63 games since the break, a breakneck 78-game pace for each over the course of a season. Feliciano (83 games), Ayala (80) and Smith (79) represent three of the six major league pitchers stretched to that exhausting plateau over the full season, with Heilman (77) not far behind. Overall the Mets rank second in the league since the break with 227 relief appearances, an average of 3.6 per game.
Driving such a frenetic pace is a massive platoon split that has Jerry Manuel chasing the “right” matchups, following a single-minded La Russa-style tactical orthodoxy at the expense of more important strategic imperatives such as conserving bullpen arms over the course of the long season. When they have the platoon advantage (righty on righty or lefty on lefty), Mets relievers have limited hitters to just .225/.299/.325; ranked by OPS, that’s an impressive fourth in the majors. However, when they don’t have the platoon advantage, they’ve been tagged at a .294/.375/.479 clip, worst in the majors. The 227-point OPS difference between situations is the highest by a wide margin; second-highest are the Brewers at 188 points, and they just whacked a manager over his platoon-related shenanigans and bullpen mismanagement. The take-home message is yet another reminder that chasing matchups can easily backfire on a skipper, either by exposing lefty specialists such as Schoeneweis (.333/.421/.509 versus righties) or Feliciano (.357/.453/.561) to the point where they face more righties than lefties, or by shunting a heavier workload to the second- or third-tier pitchers in a bullpen.
“I’m glad that a guy who went to Yavapai Community College (who the hell knows if he even graduated from that fine institution) has enough time on his hands now that his arm has fallen off to school us on this whole financial mess…specifically about how it is all the fault of the party that hasn’t been in control of anything since before Jacoby Ellsbury was in Junior High School.” So declares Rog after reading Curt Schilling’s latest essay on the U.S.’s pending financial collapse. “Many of the senators who protected Fannie and Freddie, including Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Christopher Dodd, have received mind-boggling levels of financial support from them over the years,” stressed Schilling. After one 38 Pitches commentator reminded the Red Sox lefty that John McCain’s own campaign manager, Rick Davis, received more than $30,000 a month for five years as president of an advocacy group assembled by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to defend them against regulation (”If slinging B.S. burns calories, you’re going to make weight easy, Curt”), the hurler-turned-blogger questioned the source.
HAHA! That’s your point of reference? The NYT! Seriously? A paper run by people and writers who have made it clear that Governor Palin is the Anti-Christ and a group that couldn’t dislike Senator McCain more than they do??? That’s hilarious. I say that because both sides seem to be doing much of the same, but come on, you could shoot for another source that isn’t so blatantly biased and full of crap. Should be called the “New York Enquirer”
He’s got a point, and I would agree the New York Times is hardly infallible. For instance, they’re partial owners of a baseball team in New England that paid a guaranteed $8 million this season to a guy who hasn’t thrown a single pitch in anger.
(a local security expert describes “the biggest hot dog I ever ate”)
You’ve probably heard about this one already, but just in case you didn’t, thanks to Eric for passing the link along. And if Mr. Met would like to be similarly careless this weekend, thus avoiding the humiliation of letting the Brewers off the hook, maybe that’s worth considering. If John McCain can duck a challenge this week, why not the Mets? From NJ.com’s Frank Della Femina :
Hours before the Phillies-Atlanta Braves’ game on Wednesday night, a film crew shot a commercial of the Phillie Phanatic shooting hot dogs heavily wrapped in white packaging and duct tape outside the ballpark’s first-base gate.
Everything went as planned … until someone inadvertently left three of the packaged hot dogs outside the ballpark.
Yes, the mysterious packages were hot dogs. According to the Philadelphia Phillies web site, the bomb squad handled it accordingly:
The Philadelphia Police’s bomb squad detonated the packages and sounded an “all clear” for fans to return to the park, Stiles said.
The Mets won a coin flip earlier today to determine who’d have home field advantage in the event of a one game playoff against Houston to determine the NL Wild Card. There’s no truth to the rumor Drayton McLane called “heads you win, tails I lose”.
Something tells me the chances of Stephon Marbury being reunited with Kevin Garnett in Boston are about as good as Barry Bonds starting in left field for the Pirates next April.
On the other hand, it’s great to know Steph’s distribution deal with Amazon.com is working out so well.
The 3-4-5 of the Sox order has gone 3 for 22 in these games. It took two double plays to get out of the second inning. Buehrle and Cabrera picked off Gomez at second, but didn’t get the call and Gomez came around for the winning run. Buehrle (L 14-12, 8H 3R 4BB 3K) went a good eight, settling down after a bad pair of innings, but allowed runners to screw up his look to the plate. Meanwhile, a familiar nickel-and-dime Twins contact affair of flares, bloops, broken-bat chip shots and frictionless moon bounces buried the Sox under the green concrete. For their part, the deadliest bats in the AL failed to capitalize on Blackburn (5IP, 8H 2R 2BB 2K) or get to the pen, who gave up one hit and one walk combined.
It’s a testament to baseball, that most generous and redemptive of games, that a squad this distracted could turn in a performance like this and still somehow be on top in the division. Nonetheless, it’s clear this wasn’t the right year to figure out how to beat Oakland.
Tonight, with everything on the line (everything, that is, that hasn’t been raked already into the dealer’s chip rack) the matchup is Gavin Floyd (16-8, 3.84) vs Kevin Slowey (12-11, 3.85). Get to Slowey, win the game. If Nick Swisher gets out that blow-up doll again, let me reccomend a bicycle pump this time. It’s hard enough to breathe in that bubble.
…and sadly, I’m not refering to Paulie Go Nuts. Tigers reliever Todd Jones informed readers of his Sporting News Magazine (the publication with significantly fewer readers than The Sporting Blog), “it’s been a great ride, but it’s time to stay home.” (link swiped from Repoz and Baseball Think Factory). Being neither a Tigers fan nor someone who watches a ton of AL games in person, Jones’ decision to retire strikes me as less of a baseball tragedy and more of a loss for persons looking for easy blog content several times a year. From CSTB, June 15, 2005 :
Florida reliever Todd Jones has long been CSTB’s journalistic hero. His old as-told-to columns for The Sporting News showed yours truly that if a big, burly dude like Todd wasn’t ashamed of flaunting his learning disabilities and backwards sexual politics in public, I’d have to get a lot bigger and burlier if I wanted to manage the same thing.
Tonight while on a fact finding mission at Chicago’s Wrigley Field, I had the opportunity to observe Jones up close and personal. While sitting alongside the Marlins bullpen, I spied Todd bringing autographed baseballs to a couple of heavily made up / perfumed individuals sitting a few seats to my right. I’ve long heard that signing autographs during the game was forbidden (or so Red Sox backup catcher Bob Montgomery claimed many years ago), and as much as I’d like to credit Todd for being a nice guy, I hate to break it to him that both of these girls had penises. What’s more, since we’re in Illinois, I’m pretty sure they weren’t married to each other.
“I am not nostalgic for the days when football was not a family game, characterised memorably by Billy Connolly, 30 years ago, as a time ‘when they are shitting in our shoes and we are pissing in their Bovril’” recalls the Guardian’s Rob Bagchi. “The fear of getting your head kicked in was rife. But I cannot stand the noise pollution now provided by clubs who think you can be dragooned into behaving in a particular way.”
They must have a pretty dim view of us if they think we don’t know how to celebrate a goal without some sort of cue. I first noticed this phenomenon in America, at NBA games, when the Wurlitzer was switched into hunting-horn mode and a reveille was used to prompt the crowd to chant “Charge!” when the home team had the ball or “Defence!” when an opposition attack was mounted. Nothing could be left to chance – an atmosphere had to be manufactured to suit the spectacle.
When the Premier League was launched in 1992, Sky tried to import such American razzmatazz. Their notorious half-time show for Monday night games featured the Sky Strikers dancing troupe and there was a post-match firework display, too. Widespread ridicule from people who had, on sufferance, tolerated the Dagenham Girl Pipers for decades prompted Sky to accept that the sight of cheerleaders belting out Toni Basil’s Mickey and hectoring fans to join in on a November evening at Boundary Park was incongruous at best. The experiment in supporter manipulation was stopped after only one season.
If only some clubs had been as wise. Instead, those who struggle to fill their grounds – in some instances because, ironically, their fans don’t want a sanitised and orchestrated experience – persist in the belief that you can fill an atmospheric void with muzak, giant foam hands, comedy hats and the infernal clack-clack of those damned rubber clappers. The self-proclaimed “best league in the world”, which prides itself on the authenticity of its unique matchday “event”, is prepared to cheat, to give the level of crowd participation a helping hand if it does not come up to scratch.
“Gary Unmarried” is a throwback to a time when laugh tracks were provided by evidently demented studio audiences; when one-liners were stoked with double entendres about sexual functions; when sitcoms had a beat, pace and predictability so primitive that they engaged only the reptilian part of our brains. To some viewers, this may be comfort food. To others: Hell. I suspect the latter will outnumber the former. What’s wrong here? What isn’t? Says Tom to Dad, “I can’t invite a girl over here [because] what if she expects me, to – you know – tap it?” Roar from studio audience. Mock horror from Dad. The reptile in our brain sniggers. – Verne Gay, Newsday, 9/24/08
Say what you’d like about the Ford Motor Company: that they’re the worst-run big corporation in the world; that they’ve squandered the goodwill of American auto-buyers and abdicated commanding heights in the market by producing crappy cars, resisting innovation at every turn and depending on government subsidy; that they never should’ve stopped producing the Festiva. I just said all those things, for instance, and believe them.
But whatever else one says about the Fords, it’s clear that they’re loyal. Not to their workers or those who buy their cars: no, they’re loyal to intensely incompetent executives, both on the automotive and football sides of their business. It’s why both are doing so well, I think. I’d love to read the fact that the Lions have finally relieved Matt Millen (above, right) of his team president duties as evidence of a great leap forward for the Fords. Until the company drops their idiotic insistence on producing cars that run entirely on ethanol, instead of plug-in hybrids (or really meaningful hybrids of any kind), though, it’s safe to assume that the Fords will remain something of an embarrassment.
But, to reiterate, they’re slightly less embarrassing for finally having ditched Millen. That it took seven seasons…well, see above for the car that runs on corn. The Fords, at this point, are kind of like the end-stage Spanish branch of the Hapsburg family. After generations of hot Hapsburg-on-Hapsburg action, the family’s rule over Spain came to an end when the mentally retarded King Charles II just kind of gave Spain to France’s Louis XIV. I mention this for no other reason than to note that I think even Charles II would’ve probably fired Millen in like 2004.
But all this Hapsburg-baiting and ethanol bashing is distracting us from what’s really important, here: the question of what’s next for Matt Millen. He may go back to broadcasting, where his dependably stern wrongheadedness has been much missed. He may somehow find himself promoted to Vice President of GM. For the time being, though, I hope Millen throws himself into this new radio project he’s working on.
This may be news to those of you without satellite radio, but Matt Millen and Isiah Thomas have been hosting an advice show — “Zeke and Matt’s Sound Decision-Making” — on Sirius for the last month or so, and it is really, really impressive. Here’s a partial transcript from yesterday’s show:
MM: “…So, yeah, that’s why I think it’s always a bad idea to wear a condom.”
IT: “Couldn’t agree more, Matt. To change gears for a minute, so to speak,” — and here there’s a card of screeching tire wheels — “I’d like to talk about another thing I feel like every listener should try, which is drunk driving.”
MM: “Oh, now you’re talking.”
IT: “So you’re with me on this one?”
MM: “Oh, absolutely, Zeke, I have. Done it often, and it is fun. An adventure. Although to be honest, I don’t always remember just how fun it was the next day.
IT and MM (in unison): “So you have to do it again!” (Audible high five)
MM: “Oh, that’s good. Okay, when we come back: home finance. We’ll have our panel of experts…”
IT: “…by which he means us, our producer, Jerome James, and board op, Charles Rogers…”
MM: “…discussing which teaser-rate mortgage is right for you.”
Stay with radio, Matt. In seven years, you can probably put the whole medium out of business. (Thanks to Brendan Flynn for helping unearth that transcript)
A single human hand lacks the basic equipment to point all the fingers necessary at the White Sox for their atrocious failure last night under the Big Top. First off, I know you can’t trade for Griffey and not play him in the biggest game of the year, but one can only hope Junior’s 9th inning meaningless 2-run dinger is not enough to keep him on the card tonight. Hope alone is left because as we have seen, prayer is ineffective.
The next finger goes to AJ Pierzynski, whose .200-in September bat, bases-loaded ground out in the third and following little-league rundown of Delmon Young that allowed Punto and Gomez to advance prompted the following outburst from the embattled backstop: “I fucking suck.” And so in the stony silence that follows all uncomfortable truths, we turn to the outfield.
I recommend checking for iPods under caps, because something has these guys’ attention that shouldn’t. Dye forgot how many outs there were in the 6th. Dewayne Wise threw to third instead of second. Griffey didn’t get to a Kubel fly ball in the 4th that Brian Anderson would have easily handled.
Then there’s Javy being Javy and Ozzie being Ozzie letting Javy be Javy. In the fourth he gave up a triple, double, hit and bunt singles with a pokey parade of stuff down the middle. Waiters at the Drake Hotel get less of the plate (that’s a shout out to my grandfather) than Vazquez (L 12-15, 4IP, 7H 5R 3K) did last night. One thing we have learned: when Vazquez gave up that slam to Johnny Damon in the ‘04 ALCS, some in New York mumbled he was preoccupied with travel plans to Puerto Rico. Despite being Yankees fans, these people were not wrong. And Kenny’s got him until 2010 at some ungodly sum I don’t even want to look up. Play the World Series in July and that won’t be a problem I guess.
Going for the pen in the fifth is never how you prefer to go, but when Boone Motherfucking Logan is in the mix, it’s time to consider dragging Bobby Jenks out there instead. Holy mother of cock shit balls, put this waste of rosin back on the short bus already. I know he didn’t give up the only bomb (thank you Clayton Richard) and I know Matt Thornton is a human being that needs rest, and I know Scott Linebrink is a shadow of his former self and I know there’s no bullpen door in the Metrodome and so no opportunity to use a padlock, but Boone Fucking Logan? Somewhere, a meth lab is missing its lookout. Return him from whence he came — please.
And thank you, Carlos Quentin, for your fire, your strength and your impeccable Stanford-educated judgement. You showed that bat, all right. Showed it good. Hope you’re using it for the dry swings.
It’s not over, but it sure looks like it should be. This team, lacking a pissed-off older guy in the far end of the dugout, is playing like a team that lacks a pissed-off older guy in the far end of the dugout. I doubt that whatever hell Ozzie has left to dish out is going to turn any heads. What’s he going to do, go to the media and insinuate…well, never mind.
Seriously, enough with these pests. They’ve got more road miles than Magellan, the Indians and Rays took turns kicking their ass and when they got home, it was to Jesse Ventura’s state. Please. Denard Span? Kid’s got no big game experience, probably doesn’t even understand that it’s not normal to play big league baseball under a hefty bag. Kubel? He’s 0.95 agaisnt Javy, and his name sounds like a potato dish. Forget him. Mauer? Well, you can always walk him. Gomez? Swings at anything, already used up his homer against Javy this year. Morneau? Walk him, too. Casilla? He’s .143 against Horacio Ramirez, how good can he be? And Scott Baker. Come on. Totally hittable. Gets rattled with runners on. Owned by Cabrera and AJ. We got this one.
I’d take a page out of the Schwartz playbook and live-blog the game, but they don’t have wi-fi at the prayer meeting I’ll be at.
Under normal circumstances, last night’s outburst on the past of Orioles skipper Dave Tremblay might be the week’s choice collection of sound bytes, but instead, I’ll give the honors to Hank Steinbrenner. The ever-excitable genetic lottery winner, not content with suggesting the DH be employed throughout MLB, has now turned his attention to even greater conspiracies against the New York Yankees, with the following excerpts from ‘Lil Stein’s Sporting News column quoted by the Journal News’ Peter Abraham.
On revenue sharing: “That’s a system I don’t particularly like. It’s a socialist system, and I don’t agree with it. Does it work? It depends on your point of view. But is it right? Is it even American? I’d argue no on both of those points.”
On the divisional setup: “If you want to talk about things that infuriate me about the game today, revenue sharing doesn’t top the list. The biggest problem is the divisional setup in major league baseball. I didn’t like it in the 1970s, and I hate it now. Baseball went to a multidivision setup to create more races, rivalries and excitement. But it isn’t fair. You see it this season, with plenty of people in the media pointing out that Joe Torre and the Dodgers are going to the playoffs while we’re not. This is by no means a knock on Torre — let me make that clear—but look at the division they’re in. If L.A. were in the A.L. East, it wouldn’t be in the playoff discussion. The A.L. East is never weak.”
Go back to the 2006 season. St. Louis winning the World Series — that was ridiculous. The Cardinals won their division with 83 wins — two fewer than the Phillies, who missed the postseason. People will say the Cardinals were the best team because they won the World Series. Well, no, they weren’t. They just got hot at the right time. They didn’t even belong in the playoffs. And neither does a team from the N.L. West this season.”
The New York Post’s F. Carter Smith reports a tearful Roger Clemens watched Yankee Stadium’s closing ceremonies — during which his name was mentioned fewer times than first ballot Hall Of Famer Xaver Nady — “at home in hurricane-ravaged Texas, in front of a battery-operated television on his living room couch.” It’s a nice touch by Carter. While the Rocket’s former teammates and employers are basking in baseball history, Clemens, the ultimate family man, remains in the thick of a natural disaster’s aftermath. But I’m calling bullshit — what sort of “battery operated television” allows you to watch ESPN?
Newsday’s Alan Hahn reports the New York Knicks are preparing to waive Stephon Marbury — with Miami a likely destination for the Coney Island product — despite the veteran point guard apparently dedicating himself to conditioning over the summer.
Though removing the controversial Marbury from the locker room is believed to have been a foregone conclusion for some time – the old addition-by-subtraction theory – it is also well known within the walls of 2 Penn Plaza that Donnie Walsh is having trouble getting comfortable with the idea of handing someone nearly $20 million to go play for another team. Especially when that player might be in the best shape of his career and focused – yes, rarely a word attributed to Marbury – to prove a great deal of critics wrong.
Make no mistake; all indications from those who have seen him are that Marbury is physically more ready for this season than the previous two. The left ankle is healed after surgery last January to remove bone spurs. His weight is reportedly down to 200 pounds after he spent the summer training in Southern California – “Running the Hollywood Hills,” as has been repeatedly said from those in his camp. He has refreshingly been mostly under the radar throughout the summer, with nary a bizarre interview to be seen on YouTube (OK, he did have his “Starbury” logo tattooed on his skull).
Marbury, who created a huge divide between himself and teammates after he went AWOL in Phoenix last November, stayed to himself with his workouts at the MSG Training Center this offseason until yesterday, when he joined the other Knicks veterans in pickup games. One observer from yesterday’s workout noted the uneasy atmosphere among the other players. “You could just feel the hate,” the person said.
I’ll ‘fess up, when Isiah Thomas acquired Marbury, I actually believed the latter would make the most of his opportunity playing for hometown team. In terms of paychecks and Jeep blowjobs, I wasn’t far off. Now that the Knicks are on the brink of paying Marbury to be play alongside D-Wade, I do wish Hahn and his colleagues would consider the real victims of this mooted transcation. Not Cablevision’s shareholders, but the nation’s hoops bloggers, who will have far less fodder to work with the moment Stephon leaves New York.
Man, I don’t know who to thank more. The 15 or 16 of you who stuck around for all 3 1/2 hours of miserable baseball (perhaps not so miserable for Ms. Clayton) at Shea last night, Ben Schwartz for the partisan live blogging, Mr. Roth for the unhappy recap, or the staff and management of St. Marks Place’s Sing Sing for graciously including Sham 69’s “Borstal Breakout” amongst their karaoke offerings. Were it not for Jon Niese serving up-a-spicy-meatball to the Cubs’ resident Mark E. Smith acolyte Jason Marquis Cha Cha, the ballgame itself might’ve been something or other besides a footnote in what is feeling more and more like Collapse II.
Besides the camraderie of a tremendous bunch of humans, I am struggling to take something positive away from the Mets’ 9-5 defeat. It boggles this very hungover mind that this team is reduced to leaning on the likes of Niese and Brandon Knight during the final week of a pennant race, much as I cannot quite remember the last Mets position player (Carlos D.? Roger Cedeno? Robbie Alomar? Sir Bonilla? Rafael Santana? Hey, my memory’s coming back!) to generate as much genuine hatred as Luis Castillo. But here’s all I can come up with :
a) Aaron Heilman pitched a scoreless 8th inning. I know, BFD, but given the workload the rest of the pen is likely to face over the next 6 days, sparing any of Heilman’s colleagues just one more appearance might actually be consequential.
b) Carlos Beltran hit with the centerfield wall while making a fine running grab of Mark DeRosa drive in the top of the 7th last night, sustaining some damage to his ribs and left knee. Beltran stayed in the game despite the Mets being down by 6 runs at the time, and emerged from the trainers room to take his at bat in the last of the 7th, singling off Neil Cotts in the process. This made no difference in yet another must-win turned into a defeat, but at some point NYC’s legion of hate fuck radio screamers are gonna have to acknowledge Beltran’s determination and character have been grossly misjudged. This is the same player who had his face rearranged in a violent collison with Mike Cameron in 2005, yet returned to the lineup shortly afterwards, despite the club being far out of contention. We’ve routinely heard the whispers from certain WFAN hosts that Beltran is “aloof” or “not a big game kind of guy”. Not for the first time, this bullshit agenda has been exposed.
Back to internal affairs for a minute, I’m still trying to figure out what’s up with Live Nation advertising a Dice Clay show on CSTB. Maybe it was all those old references to “Hitz”. Either way, I’m not about to tell the planet’s premiere concert promotion monopoly firm they don’t know their demographic.
