12.20.04
Bark Mitzvah Psychosis
The New York Times’ Lily Koppel had the good fortune to cover the Bronx bar mitzvah of the terrier Admiral Bloom (below).
The proud father, wearing a dog-patterned tie, was Mark Nadler, 43, a New York cabaret singer. He had sent out invitations to dozens of friends “to share a special day in our lives when my dog, Admiral Rufus K. Boom, will celebrate his bark mitzvah in the tradition of our ancestors.”
Mr. Nadler, who had his bar mitzvah years ago, said he was not unfamiliar with entertaining at bar mitzvahs at “high holy places like the Hard Rock Cafe.” They sometimes seemed to be expensive productions that helped parents raise their social radar rather than sacred coming-of-age ceremonies for 13-year-olds. So Mr. Nadler thought he would give a bar mitzvah for his wheaten terrier and watch the eyebrows rise.
His party planners, including his partner, Dominic Meiman; a nephew from Israel; and two artist friends who doubled as bartenders, made every effort to make sure the joke was well delivered.
Although Admiral Boom, who wore a bib patterned with Stars of David, spent much of the party under the dining room table at Mr. Nadler’s Riverdale home, it was a night of theater for the human guests.
Most of the socializing took place in the living room and the dining room, where a buffet had been laid out. Crowning the grand piano in the living room was a platter of chopped liver, which Mr. Nadler had molded into the shape of a huge bone. After much snacking, however, it looked more like a pile of dog food.
Colorful dips were set out in double-bowl dog dishes. There was a cake with a picture of the bar mitzvah candidate and his nickname, Boomie, written in English and Hebrew. In the foyer was a bowl of baby blue satin skullcaps, with Boomie’s name and the date printed inside.
[...] Moonbats tend to view animals as morally equal or sometimes even superior to human beings. Long time readers of mine will know that I feel very strongly about this since I’ve written contemptuously in these past eight months about kooky New Yorkers protesting the removal of a Hawk’s nest from the cornice of a chi chi Manhattan coop, as well as crazy liberal Jews having “Bark-Mitzvah” ceremonies for their dogs. Heck, I’m know to some NYC bloggers as the girl who hates the hawks. [...]