….the no. 184 overall pick in today’s First Year Player Draft, RHP Scott Schafer of Pasadena Memorial High (TX). Like many other young persons, he has a MySpace page (link courtesy Maura Johnston), one in which he claims his first thought upon waking up is “why am I such a badass?” and cites his “best physical feature” as “my penis.”

On the bright side, he has way more virtual friends than this guy. A cooler profile, too.