CSTB BREAKS DOWN SUPER BOWL XXXVIII





While most of our American readers will no doubt be tuning into TLC's "Trading Spaces" Marathon, CSTB will be up late tomorrow night in London, watching the anti-glamour puss Super Bowl unfold. Here's how it shapes up :

QB : New England's Michigan grad shares the same first name as Verlaine, Paine, Stinson and Jefferson. His last name recalls Greg, Marcia, Carol, etc. Also, we must remember that he overcame the childhood trauma of seeing his father, James, shot by John Hinckley Jr.

Carolina's Jake Delhomme, however, brings to mind Jake Plummer, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, Jake & Elwood Blues, Jake Fogelnest, and the television program "Jake 2.0".

ADVANTAGE : PATRIOTS.



RUNNING GAME : The Panthers' Stephen Davis has rejuventated his career since leaving the Redskins and you can look to see him carry the ball some 700 times on Sunday (though perhaps only 30-35 during the game itself). New England's Antowain Smith and Kevin Faulk are probably the Patriots' weak links, though they'd have a much tougher time if they were trying to get past their own team's linebackers.

ADVANTAGE : PANTHERS

COACHING : NE's Bill Belichick is the acknowledged rumpled genius du jour, though Carolina's John Fox deserves recognition, if not for turning a 1-15 club of two years ago into an NFC Champ, then for all the great records he made with Ultravox prior to being replaced by Midge Ure.



ADVANTAGE : PATRIOTS

D-FENCE : Carolina have the chemically enhanced Julius Peppers at DE and rookie CB Ricky Manning who singlehandedly did what Rush Limbaugh couldn't ; make Donovan McNabb look ordinary. New England's D, however, lacks for nothing. CB Ty Law might be playing his last game as a Patriot and he, along with DT Ted Washinton, SS Rodney Harrison and linebackers Willie McGinest Roman Phifer and Teddy Bruschi are all Pro Bowl caliber (though god, please do not make me actually watch the Pro Bowl).

ADVANTAGE : PATRIOTS



SPECIAL TEAMS : Much like the Special Olympics, everyone's a winner here. Patriots K Adam Vinatieri is coming off a shaky 2003, but he's one of the biggest clutch performers since Harry Reems. Carolina K John Kasay was automatic from inside the 50 this year.

ADVATAGE : TIE

AESTHETICS : Both teams have ferociously ugly logos. The Patriots' design is doubly baffling in that it replaced one of the worst logos of the AFL era. Since there's no teal in New England's color scheme, they win by default.

ADVANTAGE : PATRIOTS

RECEIVERS : I recommend Marantz, great value for money.

ADVANTAGE : MARANTZ

CSTB'S PREDICTION : PATRIOTS 175, PANTHERS 3


Posted: Sat - January 31, 2004 at 02:14 PM      

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