Screwed : Al Goldstein's Sad Fate



The New York Times' Andy Newman reports on the tough twilight years of Screw's Al Goldstein.

His company, Milky Way Productions, home of Screw and his long-running cable show, "Midnight Blue," went into bankruptcy last year. His mansion in Pompano Beach, Fla., with the 11-foot statue of a raised middle finger out back, was sold in June to pay debts.

Mr. Goldstein's probation papers officially list him as homeless, and he says he spent much of the last month sleeping in a borrowed car behind a Boston Market restaurant in Pompano Beach and at a shelter for the homeless in Fort Lauderdale.




"Anyone who wishes ill on me should feel vindicated because my life has turned into a total horror," he said with characteristic restraint Tuesday evening at his in-laws' house.

Mr. Goldstein said that a pornographic-video company in Los Angeles recently offered him a sales job at $1,000 a week but that Florida authorities told him any move had to be approved by his probation officer in New York, where he is serving three years for harassing a former wife in the pages of Screw. On Monday, he flew to New York on frequent-flier miles. On Tuesday, he said, his probation officer denied him permission to move to California.

"They want me to get out of the men's field, the only field I have expertise in," Mr. Goldstein said. "They want me to take a job at Burger King for $5.50 an hour. But who's going to hire me with a criminal record? On probation?"

In truth, things could be a lot worse for Mr. Goldstein. He has shed nearly 150 pounds since a stomach-stapling operation last year. He has a new wife, Christine, a psychology graduate student 40 years his junior who obviously did not marry him for his nonexistent wealth.

She sat beside him Tuesday as he showed off his newly svelte (O.K., scrawny and pouchy) physique in a leather vest he bought at a Florida thrift store for $3.50. "Wednesday they have a senior citizen discount," he explained. "Fifty percent off."

But Mr. Goldstein is miserable unless he is in the spotlight. "Today I went to my doctor to have my diabetes checked," he said. "I walked past the town house I used to live in on West 61st Street, and I kept thinking: 'That's who I was. I was a somebody with a chauffeur, a limo, a town house. Now I sleep on a floor.' " He sat surrounded by what he called his few remaining possessions: a bunch of DVD's and CD's and several boxes of cigars.

A large silver cross around his neck gleamed against his chest hair. He has been wearing it for a few months. "I feel doomed as a Jew," he said. "I'll try anything else."

Mr. Goldstein said he felt lost without the bully pulpit from which he cursed his enemies for four decades. "I don't have a soapbox," he said. "All I can do is tell Christine that when she's dead I'm going to date her sisters."

I'd suggest that Al start a blog, but it doesn't sound like he has broadband.

There were few sights more inspiring on Manhattan Cable than Al's crazed monologues aimed at any number of persons or companies that slighted him in some way. Not content with taking on political or industry foes, the recipients of Al's most inspired attacks tended to be merchants who had offended him with unfair returns policies (usually 47th St. Photo or Hammacher Schlemmer). I'll fondly remember Al literally spitting at the camera, describing Morten Downey Jr. as "a fucking piece of shit, a modern-day Joe Pyne". I know, there are starving people deserving of our charity, but if anyone knows a way to send Goldstein a few bucks, please, pass it on.

Posted: Thu - August 12, 2004 at 05:43 PM      

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