12.29.08

A 2008 Dallas Cowboys Autopsy

Posted in General at 2:47 pm by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : Mr. David Williams observed the Cowboys’ total capitulation to Philly yesterday and writes, “I could’ve done a better ‘poster,’ but my heart was apparently eaten by the Jones family yesterday in some kind of Mayan Ceremonial hoodoo.”)

I’m past having much sentimentality about sports teams, but can’t escape the genetic basis for being a Cowboys fan.

That being said, to the extent a multi-billion-dollar corporate entity can have “heart” or “guts” (if by those terms you are nostalgically denoting a group gestalt that includes pride in performance and grace under pressure), this particular iteration of the Dallas product has neither, and to the extent that they did, it failed them on an embarrassing scale yesterday.

Of course, without a real football GM, this will continue to be a grand farce; Jerry’s ego writ large on the stage– bound to be a tragi-comedy.

It may emerge in future days that Romo was playing hurt, but what isn’t heroic is bad decision making on the field. Football, unlike magic, is a technology (or praxis) that is sufficiently understood.

Owens passive-agressive hands and Roy Williams’ idea of running a crisp route, or inability to make inuitive adjustments all reek of rampant solipsism.

Players who stepped up for contract years and then contracted in performance. Over-paid safeties (!) whose skill level is dime-a-dozen.

A head coach who found the career ceiling and should drop back to defensive co-ordinator.

An heir apparent who was out-schemed.

The idea that a unit that got to 13-3 last season but already had Borderline Personality Disorder just needed a few tweaks. Like Pacman Jones.

It was a perfect storm.

There is one possibility that is microscopically heartening: yesterday’s game was like a suicide’s plea for help. They know somehow that Wade can’t take them to the Promised Land. They know in their tiny heart of hearts that Garrett is easily out-coached. They have to know everything that’s wrong, and they exposed it to try to force the issue(s).

If this is the case– to quote Lenin: “what is to be done?” (and who will do it?).

2 Responses to “A 2008 Dallas Cowboys Autopsy”

  1. Nice Piece my man…

    I feel your pain.

    The Title alone is a killer!!!

  2. Gary says:

    Can’t you fuckfaces understand, we Redskin fans just don’t GIVE a flying fucking shit in hell about the Cowblowjobs soap opera??? LMMFAO
    Love the picture (and the caption). But I have a BETTER caption, though: “God’s NEW Shithole”. I mean, you STILL have an opening for God to unload a REALLY wet #2 on these goddamned no-talents (and their equally brain-dead “fans”). RIGHT??

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