When revelations regarding the sex lives of Jets head coach Rex Ryan and wife Michelle hit the net this week, I must admit I was pleasantly surprised at the number of fans, writers and players who considered the matter either a non-story or an unnecessary peak inside the Ryans’ bedroom. I continue to believe the manner in which the story spread and the degree to which the mainstreammedia ignores a Deadspin scoop until they risk looking foolish for having done so, is a pretty legit news item in and of itself (the New York Post of all publications, went with a gag cover more than a day after the story had appeared in every other conceivable outlet). However, there’s one big portion of the Ryan tale that’s gone largely unexamined, possibly because it’s the kind of thing no one wants to ask Tony Dungy to talk about. To wit, the Ryans’ embrace of the swinging lifestyle, or more specifically, Rex’s alleged desire to see his wife “take a big one in all 3 holes”. In what Josh Rosen submits as a candidate for The Year’s Worst Column, the Miami Herald’s Armando Saluergo argues, “we as a society have to draw the line for the sake and safety of our children.”
It can be argued no one has the right to delve into or judge what Ryan and his wife do behind closed doors — or apparently in some videos outdoors. That’s turning a blind eye to truth and reality, not to mention morality.
Ryan is supposed to be the Jets’ leader, a leader of men with large wallets, muscles and egos. He also is the boss to a staff of very bright assistants. And all these Alpha males under Ryan are expected to continue respecting a coach who allegedly pimps out his wife to strangers on the Internet?
I don’t know exactly where that morality line is drawn and I haven’t the credentials to draw it. But I know, if the allegations are true, trading one’s wife in group sex is way, way, way over that line.
That is aberrant. That is a betrayal of vows. It is a departure from God’s supernatural plan for natural man.
Anyone who defends or rationalizes the behavior probably can defend and rationalize anything. They can give a pass to any departure from normalcy.
The notion that an NFL head coach needs to adhere to “God’s supernatural plan for natural man” oughta be far more chilling to any thoughtful person than the Ryans’ refusal to conform to mainstream notions of a healthy marriage. Claiming that Ryan, “pimps his wife out to strangers on the Internet” suggests that Mrs. Ryan is some sort of unwitting participant — who amongst us can say with any certainty the former Ravens assistant coach and son of Buddy Ryan, wasn’t pimped out to strangers himself?
Saluergo is 100% correct when he says he lacks the credentials to draw the morality line — he might even lack the comprehension skills or basic knowledge of modern sexual practices. This is probably splitting hairs for self-styled thought police like Saluergo, but Rex Ryan’s apparent inclination towards voyeurism and/or cuckoldry isn’t technically the same thing as “group sex”. And man, do I wish I could hear Chris Mortensen recite that exact line on television.