10.13.11

Al Leiter Can Neither Confirm Nor Deny The Existence Of Shea Stadium’s Wank Bank

Posted in Baseball, onanism at 1:47 pm by

While another media outlet concerns itself with the slightly more serious topic of David Wright’s long term future (or lack thereof) in a Mets uniform, Sports Grid’s Dan Fogarty tuned in to Thursday’s edition of the syndicated Dan Patrick Show, where the matter of the home team clubhouse at Fenway Park (ie. a hotbed of KFC gorging, beer guzzling and intense video game competition) was discussed.

Al Leiter (above), who pitched for the New York Mets from 1998-2004, was asked if this supposedly toxic environment in Boston’s locker room was really that bad in the grand scheme of things. Don’t all baseball teams do things like this? Weren’t there distractions in the Mets’ clubhouse?

Specifically: wasn’t there a “porn room” in Shea Stadium?

From what I can see, there is no record of a Shea Stadium porn room. There is no evidence of it on Google, and whatever story Patrick was referencing doesn’t seem to exist on the internet — it very well could be one of those mythologized things, like the Holy Grail or your friend’s dad’s collection of Playboys, that is widely rumored but never confirmed.

Thus, Leiter could’ve easily dismissed it as a rumor. We would’ve believed him, and everyone would’ve gone on with their day thinking there was no such thing as the Shea Stadium porn room.

Except… Leiter seemed to be caught off guard by the question. He fumbled for an answer. He laughed uncomfortably. He talked about “political correctness” and how things were “different” once upon a time, and how the old ballparks had “nooks and crannies” where guys would… sleep. As he tried to explain away the non-existent porn room, the porn room seemed to exist more and more.

In short: it sounds like ol’ Shea Stadium had a porn room.

I’m skeptical — if there really was a specific room at Shea set aside for such purposes, would it have been necessary for one of the club’s starting pitchers to whip it out in the bullpen?

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