“When I find out what the hell’s  going on, I’ll you know. I’m not gonna be interrogated.”

Crack reporter Michael Irvin and Arena Football exec Deion Sanders
have each passed along Owens’ denials of a suicide attempt.

As the story crosses from the comic to the tragic and back again, on the bright side, at least Mike Vanderjagt is under a bit less scrutiny.

Bob Ley, not given to overstatement, introduced Chris Mortensen today as “someone with more NFL contacts than any human alive.” I’d be pretty keen to meet the dog, chimp or dolphin that has a better hookup than Mort.