03.05.09

Are We Not Clutch? Devo(n Harris) Devotion In D’Alessandro’s Mailbag

Posted in Basketball at 10:55 am by

Though the Star-Ledger’s Dave D’Alessandro has yet to weigh in on Stephon Marbury’s scoreless performance in Boston’s 115-111 defeat of the Nets last night, his reliably entertaining mailbag from last Friday did include the following gem, causing one aggrieved reader to respond, “it’s great that we live in a country in which a beat sportswriter can trivialize the faith of a good chunk of the world’s population with complete impunity.”

Dear Sir: The incredible shot made by Devin Harris on the night of February 23rd caught our attention here in the Vatican. After an emergency meeting of the Curia and a presentation to Pope Benedict XVI, His Holiness was deeply impressed by the event, and clearly sees the hand of God in the outcome of that game. In fact, His Holiness was heard to say “Let Richard Dawkins try and explain that! Ha!” At the conclusion of the meeting, a unanimous vote by the Curia proclaimed that Devin Harris shall be canonized as Saint Devo of Clutch. A small chapel will be named in his honor in the small town of Clutch in Albania, a hamlet on the Adriatic Sea located on the border of Greece. His Holiness extends His blessings for the playoffs!

Monsignor Antoine Platypus, Secretary General of the Magisterium and Man Friday to His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI.

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