09.10.11

Austin’s Shiftless, Aimless, Useless “Artists” ; A Response and a Treatise

Posted in Austin, Rock Und Roll at 12:03 am by

IMPORTANT PUBLIC STATEMENT FROM MUSIC JOURNALIST / SCHOLAR LUTHER TWINKY :

Greetings, city full of entitled, lazy, legends-in-your-own-little minds. While hard working student/journalists such as myself are trying to juggle academics, getting on the Mohawk’s guest list and sucking our own cocks, SICKENING, self-obsessed LOSERS like those on this RED RIVER REVUE are living in some kind of juvenile fairy-land. I’m sure you’ve read Fader Magazine’s extensive profile of just what sort of ticket-to-nowheresville self-indulgence is encouraged, nay, REQUIRED for residents of the Purell House. Heck, I could’ve written that piece with my eyes closed. That whole Purell X scene can BLOW ME – lord knows no one else will.

It’s a total fucking disgrace that smug, filthy space cadets like the 4 bands on this bill (I’m pretty sure they all live in that house, kind of like if the Monkees were 4 bands instead of one, all of ‘em equally devoted to not making it) are allowed to pat themselves on the back for achieving what, exactly? Putting out records I haven’t gotten for free? Let ‘em have their pathetic night at “Beerland” — some of us actually have real reasons to bother getting up early in the morning. I’d sooner shoot myself in the face than attend this gig. In fact, I bet someone else is threatening to shoot me in the face somewhere on the internet right this moment! You’re all cowards!