01.13.15

Berger On Prokhorov’s Reign In Brooklyn : Great For Profits & Punchlines, Not So Hot For Hoops

Posted in Basketball at 5:19 pm by

It was reported earlier today that Mikhail Prokhorov had contracted an outside firm to find a buyer for the Brooklyn Nets, not even 3 full years after the club moved from Newark to the Barclays Center.  Though Prokhorov is likely to fetch a massive return on his investment, CBS Sports’ Ken Berger calls the Russian billionaire’s tenure in the NBA, “vastly  unfulfilling”.

At least he’s been good for the zingers. In a 2012 appearance at the construction site of the Barclays Center, Prokhorov turned a conversation about prospective free-agent Deron Williams into a comedy club warmup act. With Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban targeting Williams as a free agent, Prokhorov said, “Let the best man win. If he wins, I will crush him with the kickboxing throwdown.”

Williams, of course, re-signed with the Nets for $100 million. With more than $43 million left on that deal after this season as he rides Brooklyn’s bench, Williams will show up as one of the biggest liabilities on the offering plan that Prokhorov’s bankers write up.

So who won that throwdown?

Prokhorov’s basketball legacy will be that of a sharp-witted, frivolous spender who oversaw the most expensive team in NBA history last season — one that couldn’t get out of the second round. He also oversaw another exit, that of franchise icon Jason Kidd. While the Nets might have been right to snub their noses at Kidd’s awkward, agent-driven power play last summer, facts are facts. Kidd has the surprising Bucks in the fifth spot without No. 2 overall pick Jabari Parker. The Nets are only three games behind them in the loss column, but be patient; the firesale that precedes most ownership transfers hasn’t started yet.

01.12.15

Not Since The Heyday Of ECW’s Sign Guy Dudley Has Television Been Graced With Such Pithy (Whiteboard) Commentary

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron at 9:24 pm by

Prior to this evening’s Oregon v. Ohio State National Championship game in Dallas, ESPN cameras picked up the following signage, the handiwork of Parma, OH resident Ken Ross Jr. Via the Cleveland Plain Dealer, Death Of Samantha’s John Petkovic provides the fascinating backstory :

You know Ross, right? He’s the happy-go-lucky guy that manages the Rivergate Café in Cleveland’s Flats? Yeah, the dude with the big beard. Yeah, that guy.

“I woke up from a dream and it hit me,” says Ross, via phone from Dallas. “I figured some would get the Cleveland reference and some wouldn’t, but I don’t care.”

Of course, the sign refers to a scene in “A Christmas Story” where Ralphie’s mom comes out against duck heads.

Soon after unveiling the sign today, Ross realized that he had a winner on, er, in his hands.

“Troy Smith was doing an interview with ESPN and he stopped and looked at me and laughed and pointed at the sign,” says Ross, referring to the former Bucks QB. “Everywhere I go people are taking pictures of me – I’ve become the guy with the funny sign.”

For Stewart Lee, Fox News’ Birmingham Gaffe Presents A Unique Opportunity

Posted in non-sporting journalism, Racism Corner, The World Of Entertainment, Total Fucking Terror at 4:52 pm by

(finally, it’s crossover time for Roy “Chubby” Brown!)

As you’ve probably heard elsewhere, Fox News’ Jeanine Pirro recently offered no objection to the nutcase claims of self-styled terrorism expert Stephen Emerson, who opined on air that “there are actual cities like Birmingham that are totally Muslim, where non-Muslims just simply don’t go in.” Comedian/Guardian op-ed columnist Stewart Lee visits Birmingham in a couple of months time, and he’s very mindful that his upcoming appearance necessitates coming up with “standup material that can be consumed by both the Islamic and the anti-Islamic customer bases, both of which are growing fast in modern Britain.”

I am currently in talks, with both Roy “Chubby” Brown and Citizen Khan’s Adil Ray, aimed at creating a central databank of Islamic-related standup content, which can be loaned out to different comedians and finessed in any direction, by way of facial expressions, tonal vocal shifts and amusing headgear, then targeted towards the racial and religious breakdown of the specific audience.

But Birmingham, apparently, is now totally Islamic. Will there be time before 2 May to spin my new two hours of comedy to address the concerns of Birmingham’s suddenly exclusively Islamic audience? Perhaps they will assume that my new Anti-Islamic Observational Comedy section is in fact a celebration of difference, like Ricky Gervais’s microtonally nuanced Derek, and I will be given the Freedom of the City of Birmingham, such as it is?

But I wouldn’t want the freedom of this new Islamo-Birmingham now, as there will be no pubs. I still remember the bad old days of the 1970s, when Birmingham was controlled by Quakers. Oats were all there was to eat, and the only drink was lukewarm drinking chocolate in a chipped mug with a picture of the pig from Pipkins on it.

01.11.15

You’d Think Dez Bryant Just Dropped A Pizza

Posted in Gridiron at 8:32 pm by

Like many of you, I had no rooting interest in Sunday’s Dallas / Green Bay NFC Playoff tilt, none that is, unless you count hoping the result would prove deeply disappointing for weirdly-uncloseted Cowboys fans and serial Jerry Jones-hugger New Jersey Governor Chris Christie.

Needless to say, I was very pleased with the outcome. Or at the very least, one observer’s reaction to it.

01.10.15

Remembering Roy Tarpley

Posted in Basketball at 10:05 pm by

Former Mavs PF/C Roy Tarpley, banned from the NBA for drug policy violations in 1991, then permanently barred in 1995 after his reinstatement a year earlier, passed away Friday in Arlington, TX. Plagued thru most of his stateside pro career with addiction issues, the NBA’s Sixth Man Of The Year in the 1987-88 season settled out of court with the NBA and the Mavericks in 2009 after suing the league for violating his rights under the Americans With Disabilities Act.

01.09.15

Tonight In Austin : A Historic Moment That Only The Foolish Will Dare Miss*

Posted in Austin, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 10:01 pm by

(* – exceptions are made for persons who are outta town watching the Flesh Eaters. Like me.)

Injuries make their Beerland debut tonight. Not are they capable of rescuing the monstrosity that is Free Week, but their adding some badly needed idiosyncrasy to an increasing homogenized cabal of Shivery-Whiskey-Shakey Graves-motherfuckers who are determined to render Austin music as sexless, soulless and sappy as it’s been at any time in the last decade. I’m not big for drawing lines in the sand — for starters, I’m in a urban hotel room and if bring a bunch of sand into this place, they’re hit me some crazy charges and everybody back at the CSTB office will think I’ve been watching Spectravision all day.  So I’ll just draw a line down the center of the room. Either you’re with Injuries or you’re against ‘em.

01.08.15

The Highly Suspicious Murray Chass Takes Chris Russo’s Word For It

Posted in Baseball, Sports Journalism, Sports Radio at 8:55 pm by

In the wake of 5 players being named to the National Baseball Hall Of Fame 2015 — none of ‘em Mike Piazza — serial Metal Mike basher, former NY Times columnist Murray Chass is not above gloating that his former editor alludes to Piazza’s rumored PED use (“the editor who said I couldn’t write about Piazza and steroids”), though he’s also found a new pal in the brutal war against Sabermetrics.

I saw a film clip in which Brian Kenny of MLB.com was arguing with Chris Russo, a talk show host, about which players belong in the Hall of Fame.

Getting nowhere and becoming exasperated with Russo, Kenny, a major proponent of monster metrics, said, “Well, what basic methodology do you use to rate players?”

“I watch the games,” Russo said.

I have always avoided listening to Russo, who screams too much and too loud for my liking, but in this instance, he won my allegiance. In four words, he made the case for those of us who prefer to judge players on what we see on the field, not on the computer screen.

This is pretty tough talk considering Chass’ words are published on computer screens. I mean, how do we know Murray wrote this stuff if we didn’t see it happen? But even if you buy into the notion that Chris Russo witnessing real-live-baseball is a better barometer than statistics (which, by the way, are compiled from real-live-baseball-games), how about the Dog claiming he watches games?

In what possible universe is Chris Russo a more credible person than Mike Piazza? If Chass actually listened to the former’s Sirius/XM Radio program, he’d know that Russo is far more adept at providing pee-wee hoops highlights from his own kids’ budding careers than breaking down your average midweek MLB contest (some of which are taking place while he’s stealing money on the radio).

I’m sure Murray’s aware that Chris Russo was born in 1959.  Presumably, his earliest memories of big league baseball aren’t until 1964 (I am taking a wild guess that we’re not talking about a tremendous child prodigy). There’s a ton of baseball history that occurred previously and hopefully Chass doesn’t mind that Russo (and most of the persons reading this) have accumulated knowledge and attempted some form of comparative analysis without the benefit being alive when those games were played.

01.07.15

Karl Massey : Doing Everything Possible To Help Ex-Cons Find Employment (Provided They’re Marrying His Daughter)

Posted in Football at 9:22 pm by

Former Sheffield United striker Ched Evans has had a difficult time finding work after being released from prison after serving half of a 5 year sentence for rape, but the Independent’s Ian Herbert reports Oldham Athletic’s plans to acquire Evans have been burnished by the wealthy father of the 26 year-old’s fiancee.

A successful businessman who runs a chain of jewellery stores in north-west England, Karl Massey is understood to have pledged financial backing to make good any money which Oldham’s sponsors withdraw in protest. He is also ready to provide a cash incentive which will cover Evans’ wages until the end of the season. Massey has a personal connection to Oldham’s chairman and owner, Simon Corney, another Mancunian entrepreneur.

The League One club also feel fortified by having the backing – and cover – of the Professional Footballers’ Association, who had initially undertaken to join them at a press conference on Monday, though withdrew that commitment amid the blizzard of condemnation of the move. The PFA is also thought to be ready to provide financial support to get Evans back into the game at Oldham.

Although a petition demanding that Oldham should not sign Evans has gathered 12,000 signatures, Oldham do not seem to feel that their fanbase is universally against the idea. One source suggested that Oldham feel as many as 75 per cent of fans would accept Evans joining the club, though this could not be confirmed.

OTL’s Seven Second Delay Is On The Fritz : Kinky Friedman On The Jones/Christie Hugathon

Posted in Gridiron, politics, The Marketplace at 7:40 pm by

Alright, well, that’s one way to distract from the real story.

01.06.15

Congrats To Randy Johnson On His Forthcoming Enshrinement….

Posted in Baseball at 11:00 pm by

…to the Hall Of Owners Of Ferociously Ugly Drum Kits.  It’ll be a busy summer of acceptance speeches for The Big Unit.

Let This Be A Warning To Budding Hooded Casanovas

Posted in Fashion, Gridiron, The Law at 4:42 pm by

Talking Points Memo’s Ahiza Garcia reports Oklahoma legislators hope to revise a law once intended to curb the KKK into a new ruling that makes it illegal to, well, dress like Bill Belichick in public.

The existing law, enacted in the 20s, bans the wearing of hoods while committing crimes, television station KFOR reported on Friday. However, a new proposal would reportedly extend that ban to include any hoods or facial disguise worn in public, punishable with a $500 fine.

Oklahoma state Sen. Don Barrington (R) wrote the amendment and, according to KFOR, sought to help victims of robberies.

“The intent of Senate Bill 13 is to make businesses and public places safer by ensuring that people cannot conceal their identities for the purpose of crime or harassment,” Barrington told the station. “Similar language has been in Oklahoma statutes for decades and numerous other states have similar laws in place. Oklahoma businesses want state leaders to be responsive to their safety concerns, and this is one way we can provide protection.”

Garcia writes the proposed amendment incudes a waiver for Halloween costumes, so the children of Oklahoma can still dress up like Belichick one-day-a-year.

01.05.15

The First (But Not The Last) Chapter In Rob Gronkowski-Related Erotica

Posted in Free Expression, Gridiron at 9:55 pm by

The New York Post’s Jonathan Letham describes Lacey Noonan’s e-book, “A Gronking To Remember” as “a sequence of punishingly graphic fantasy female masturbation scenes based on watching the muscular and excitable New England Patriots tight end.”  Hey, you had me at “sequence”!  The Amazon.com sales pitch for Ms. Noonan’s literary debut (?) takes a slightly less cynical approach to what should be a great gift for every Patriots fan in your life :

Leigh has a serious problem. And it’s driving a “spike” between her and her husband Dan.

When Leigh wanders into the room where her husband and his friends are watching a football game, her life changes forever, because at that exact moment, NFL’s one-man wrecking ball, Rob Gronkowski of the New England Patriots, scores a touchdown and does his patented “Gronk Spike”—his notorious monster smashing of a football. When the ball shoots into the stratosphere, Leigh’s heart goes apitter-patter and she becomes seriously turned on.

Now normally-sheepish Leigh can’t stop thinking about it. She’d never given a second thought to football, but now the primal power of the Gronk Spike, and this raw monster of a man, Rob Gronkowski, is all that she wants, and she’ll stop at nothing until the romance of a lifetime is hers!

Find out the lengths people will go to fulfill their fantasies in this super-sexy, sex-filled story of wanton lust with a super-sexy, sex-filled happy ending.

If you read one book about Rob Gronkowski this year, make it “Growing Up Gronk.” But if you read two books about Rob Gronkowski this year, make the second one “A Gronking to Remember!”

Warning: Contains some sexually graphic scenes as well as the misuse of American footballs that will leave you wet, hard and everything in between. Sports!

J.R. Smith Is Officially David Blatt’s Problem Now

Posted in Basketball at 9:13 pm by

I’m not sure if the Knicks’ tanking of the 2014-15 season just went from unintentional to “quite intentional (but who can really tell?)”.  If you thought Carmelo Anthony was the club’s sole tradable asset, Phil Jackson has just proven you wrong, sending J.R. Smith (above) and Iman Shumpert to Cleveland  in exchange for Lance Thomas, Alex Kirk, Louis Amundsen and a 2019 second round pick.  What would possess Phil to toss the useful Shumpert to the struggling Cavs for so little in return? As Posting & Toasting’s Seth Rosenthal accurately points out, “the Knicks want space”, and J.R. is pretty much the definition of wasting said space.

The Knicks, it appears, wanted to dump J.R.’s money and didn’t intend to make a serious bid for Shump in restricted agency this summer, so now the roster is utterly empty, this season and next. Just eyeballing it, their salary figures sits closer to $30 million than $40 million next season.

On one hand, I love Iman Shumpert and have enjoyed J.R. Smith and am sad to see two consistently entertaining personalities and talented players off my favorite team. On the other hand, I think getting rid of J.R. was a need and losing Shump was a foregone conclusion. To me, the Knicks traded space for more space, plus a future second-rounder. Should they have held out for more assets in return? Maybe, but it’s clear that emptiness trumps all else for these Knicks. They’re gonna have a lot of it. Dad is leaning hard into this plan.

01.04.15

From 2006 : Whitlock Warns The Late Stuart Scott About “Bojangling”

Posted in Hip Hop, Racism Corner, Sports TV at 10:59 pm by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : Longtime “SportsCenter” anchor Stuart Scott passed away Sunday, finally succumbing to cancer after years of fighting the cancer. Scott’s death was a major story throughout sports & mainstream media today, and while many colleagues old and new did a wonderful job of celebrating his spirit and life’s work, at least one ESPN co-worker had an interesting, if revised take.

Jayson Whitlock took to Twitter to proclaim Scott, “the Rakim of broadcasting”, someone who “filled the world with positive energy” and “built bridges”. The following CSTB post from October 19. 2006 (“Whitlock On Bojangling Stuart Scott”, is an altogether different summation of Scott’s talents – GC)
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
AOL’s self-proclaimed “Big Sexy”, aka Jason Whitlock, isn’t nearly done taking shots at his former colleagues in Bristol, CT.

Memo to Stu Scott (above) : Dude, I like your work. I defend your rapping and rhyming on SportsCenter because it’s harmless and you’re just delivering highlights in a unique style. But you went too far with it at halftime Monday night with your Jay-Z intro and damn near set off bojangling alarms all over my house.

A broadcaster, a journalist, a performer must know his audience and service his audience above all else. Flavorizing highlights with a little hip-hop slang on SportsCenter is one thing, but using Jay-Z’s alternate nickname “ Jigga “ at halftime of Monday Night Football is ridiculous and offensive.

Stu, you are not Big Tigger and you ain’t on BET. Its “Monday Night Football”. Look, the ESPN executives were stupid for foisting Jay-Z’s latest video on football fans. If Roger Goodell had a brain, he’d check with David Stern about the damage done to the NBA’s image by tying itself too closely to the hip hop crowd.

I digress. Stu, no one cares that you know Jay-Z’s other name, and the MNF audience doesn’t want to waste time wondering whether you just called him N-word-a or Jigaboo.

Hey, you might’ve scored a few cool points with Jay-Z or Beyonce. Great. But you confused, irritated and offended 95 percent of your audience. And for what? A couple of fist pounds the next time you see Kanye and Jay?

I’m wondering exactly what damage the NBA did by tying itself too closely to the hip-hop crowd. Unless Whitlock is refering to Cowboy Troy’s performance at the 2005 All-Star Game, in which case, no more needs to be said.

How To Build A Local Music Scene Our Bloggers Can Be Proud Of

Posted in Austin, non-sporting journalism, Radio at 3:17 pm by

(above : talented, experienced media manipulators, ready to take the Venus Illuminato to the next level)

It was with considerable patience I tried to listen to a program on KOOP yesterday in which a local music blogger (whose work I am mostly unfamiliar with) opined that the big thing holding Austin back as a genuine musical hotspot was the city’s lack of qualified publicists. There’s a plethora of boutique labels (though he was careful not to mention most of the good ones) and some recording studios (though none were cited) but what Austin really needs is the promo/PR machinery required to really elevate these fledgling talents to the superstar level of, fuck, I don’t know. Imagine Dragons?

Just to make sure we’re all perfectly clear on the message, here are things Austin apparently does not require : cheap housing and affordable rehearsal spaces for musicians. An arts weekly or dedicated music website that was remotely conversant with the town’s best music. A 24/7 listener supported radio station that emulated, say, WFMU instead of established NPR monoliths. Club patrons willing to shell out $5 for 4 fucking bands without objection or negotiation.

Nope. What Austin apparently cannot survive without is a firm gracious enough to charge local labels $2000 to mail records or download codes to the same people who’ve previously ignored direct inquires from the very same labels. Y’know, the sort of careful, relationship-cultivating stuff that makes journalists feel a tad less lonely (and reduces the chances of breaking even from slim to none). As noted above, the rest of the infrastructure is in totally awesome shape, so PLEASE, America’s legion of PR companies, consider moving to Austin ASAP. Unless, of course, you’re the rebranded Strange Fruit P.R., in which case you’re already here and I simply need to know where to mail the blank check.

01.03.15

DAC’s Holmes Elects Gary Sheffield To The Hall Of Jerks On ‘Roids

Posted in Baseball at 10:10 pm by

Over the course of a 22 year, 8-team big league tenue, Gary Sheffield hit 509 HR’s, compiled a career slugging of percentage of .514, won 5 Silver Slugger Awards and made All-Star teams 9 times. There’s other prodigious stats, too, but none of are enough to win the favor of Detroit Athletic Co.’s Dan Holmes, who aside from cataloging Sheff’s myriad public relations problems, argues that Dwight Gooden’s nephew is unworthy of Hall Of Fame induction after being named in the Mitchell Report. “He may have looked like The Natural’ when he debuted as a 19-year old with the Brewers,” Holmes scolds, “but in the end too much of what Sheffield accomplished came about in ‘unnatural’ ways” (link swiped from Baseball Think Factory)

It’s the steroid use that will keep Sheffield from ever being elected to the Hall of Fame. A look at his career shows a fairly common arc of performance up until his 30s. Then, for his age 30-36 seasons he posted remarkable power numbers, setting career highs in homers, extra-base hits, total bases, and slugging percentage. Like Bonds, Sheffield’s power surge in his 30s and into his late 30s is suspicious to say the least. His inclusion in the Mitchell Report should make it clear to anyone that he was cheating for several years. For that reason Sheffield should not be elected to the Hall of Fame, and he won’t be. Bonds, who was a far superior player to Sheffield whether they were juiced or not, has even gaudier numbers and the most support he’s received from the baseball writers is 36.2%. Mark McGwire hasn’t sniffed election either and Rafael Palmeiro (who had more than 3,000 hits) fell off the ballot completely because of his association with performance enhancing drugs.

Sheffield wasn’t well liked by the media or by many of his teammates. He was tolerated because he produced on the field, but he was often a cancer in the clubhouse and he never stayed in one spot long enough to gain a fan following (“Sheffs’ Hats” aside).

Holmes might have a point, here. Aside from the National Baseball Hall Of Fame, Sheffield should also be ruled ineligible from the Hall Of Being Nice To Sportswriters and the nearly as vaunted Hall Of Being Popular With Opposing Fans.

01.02.15

Folder Rock Can Take The Weekend Off. I’ve Got This One Covered

Posted in Austin, Rock Und Roll at 9:07 pm by

(above : an earnest, early effort at getting the anti-garage thing off the ground)

Here’s an early contender for 2015′s least promising band bio. At least they can’t say they didn’t try to warn you.


“(NAME REDACTED) is a re-purposing of the American four-piece rock&roll band.
The Austin-based musicians produce, push, and expand the possibilities of the popular music format. Their foundation is built with an immaculate attention to rhythm, facilitating movement from the listener. This band does not play rock&roll. What arises is a bolder more articulate genre, ‘anti garage’”

Suffice to say, if you’re expecting the second coming of The Meters, you’re gonna be pretty disappointed. If you’re expecting the second coming of Spandau Ballet, you might be even more disappointed.

Inspire Pro’s Matthew Palmer : Going To Unusual Lengths To Guarantee An Level Playing Field This Sunday Night

Posted in Professional Wrestling at 5:37 pm by

The headline match for this Inspire Pro Wrestling’s “Ecstasy of Gold II” card at the Marchesa Theater this Sunday night features former champion Matthew Palmer squaring off against the man who stole his title, “Dirty” Andy Dalton. While the former’s recent threats against the latter have crossed the line for some, Palmer has demonstrated he’s willing to go way past rhetoric if that’s what’s required to remove Dalton’s manager & confidant, J.T. Lamotta from the equation.

01.01.15

A Member Of The Celtics Almost Provokes A Post-Game Confrontation Without The Words “Honey-Nut” Ever Being Uttered

Posted in Basketball at 7:32 pm by

The above spat between Sacramento C Demarcus Cousins and Boston G Marcus Smart took place towards the tail end of the Celtics’ 106-84 rout of the visiting Kings Wednesday night ; the Boston Herald’s Steve Bulpett managed to collect Cousins and Smart’s respective sides of the story :

Cousins got a technical foul for rookie-tossing. Smart got a technical for .?.?. well, no one ever really got an explanation for that, but the Celtics’ thought is that the officials were just trying to chill things out in a game that was pretty much out of hand on the scoreboard.

“I did have an issue (with Smart),” said Cousins, who had received a first-quarter technical for screaming at ref Danny Crawford and was ejected. “It didn’t start with the box-out. It was the pick. He tried to run through my chest, then he came and I felt he took a cheap shot on the box-out, and that’s what resulted to what happened.

According to multiple sources, Cousins said, “That’s OK. I’ll get him after the game,” on his way from the scene. There was, therefore, a bit larger security presence in the hallway between the two dressing rooms.

“To be honest, I’m not really worried about that,” Smart said of the altercation after going for 11 points, six rebounds, two assists and two steals. “He knows that I’m not going to back down from it. I don’t see why I got the tech though, but it’s all good. They didn’t really tell me that, but it’s all good. I’m one of those guys that’s not going to back down from anything, so I’m going to let that be known.”

Told of Cousins’ objections, Smart said, “Man, it was a box-out. That’s his opinion. Everybody saw the play. Like I said, I’m not going to back down from anything. If that’s what he thinks, that’s what he thinks.”

And the pick? “Once again, that’s what he thinks,” Smart said. “I’m just playing defense.”

Taylor On FA’s Ban Of Wigan’s Whelan : Good Luck Pulling That One Off

Posted in Football, Racism Corner at 7:17 pm by

Wigan chairman Dave Whelan (above, right) has been hit with a 6 week ban and a £50,000 fine after the England F.A. determined he was not misquoted with his recent published comments about Jews and Chinese persons. Along with pointing out the sum of the fine is a mere drop in the bucket for a man of Whelan’s wealth, The Guardian’s Daniel Taylor argues, “the FA is not going to place Whelan on a round-the-clock watch and a punishment of this nature is utterly unenforceable.”

Are we seriously to believe he will not even be consulted if Wigan buy or sell someone in the January transfer window? Is he meant to press the reject button every time the number of a football contact flashes on his phone? (answer: yes). Will he find out about important club business via their website and fan message-boards? Wigan are a good club who until recently prided themselves on doing things the right way. They might just have to forgive the rest of us for being skeptical about how this ban actually works.

What is certain is that Whelan has given a lot of thought to his own position since the offending interview in these pages on 21 November, when he stated among other things that it was “nothing” to call a Chinese person a “chink” and that “Jewish people do chase money more than everybody else”.

His age is no excuse but, at 78, it does bring a small element of sympathy, perhaps, if only because a lot of us probably know others of that generation who might talk themselves into trouble without necessarily realising how bad it sounds outside their comfort zone.

12.31.14

Suh : What Part Of “I’m Not Talking About Being A Serial Stomper” Do You Not Understand?

Posted in Gridiron at 5:57 pm by

A day after his one-game suspension for using Green Bay QB Aaron Rogers as a human doormat was reduced to a $70,000 fine, Lions LB Ndamukong Suh faced the media prior to this weekend’s Wild Card clash against the Cowboys, and in the words of MLive’s Kyle Meinke, “unleashed a barrage of “next questions” and ‘I’m just looking forward to Dallas’” :

Did he intentionally step on Rodgers during Sunday’s 30-20 loss against the Packers?

“Next question,” Suh said.

And is it true he couldn’t feel his feet, an excuse he used to successfully appeal the suspension?

“Next question,” he said.

Suh used that line 10 times to nine questions during a 7-minute news conference at team headquarters in Allen Park. He also said he’s “looking forward to playing Dallas,” or some iteration of that, to 12 other wide-ranging questions.

“I’m just looking forward to playing against Dallas,” Suh said during an opening statement that cut off a question from a team employee. “I look forward to playing against Dallas,” he said, when asked what happened with Rodgers. “Like I said, I’m ready to focus on Dallas and get ready for that game,” he said, when asked about his successful appeal.

12.30.14

RIYL : Eric Church, Jason Aldean, Rodney Adkins, Letting Her Know Who’s Boss

Posted in Baseball, Beer at 11:17 pm by

After a dozen years in the big leagues, you’d hope former P Brett Myers’ battery of his wife on a Boston sidewalk would be his most embarrassing public moment. And while that’s most assuredly still the case, he’s making a strong effort to return to the public eye in spectacular, albeit non-violent fashion with his recently released country debut.

There’s not an embeddable version of the EP’s hottest track, “Kegerator”, but it can be summed up quite simply ; Myers is tired of his significant other counting the number of beer cans he’s emptied, so he’s found a KEGERATOR on Craigslist. The next time the Lady Myers asks how many beers he’s consumed, our hero can safely say “three” without any pesky conflict resolution issues entering the picture.

Horse Owner : I Can’t Operate Under These Conditions

Posted in Horse Racing at 10:44 pm by

Emperor’s Choice was victorious in the £100,000 Welsh Grand National last Saturday, the 2nd time a Venetia Williams trained horse has won the 120 year old race.  Arnie Kaplan, owner of 8th place finisher Amigo, tells the Racing Post’s Lewis Porteous that he’s had enough with the mob scenes at Chepstow, moaning, “tou couldn’t put your hanky to your mouth to sneeze.”

Kaplan was, in his words, confronted with “rude car park staff, a 40-minute queue at the owners’ and trainers’ entrance and overcrowding inside the track”.

Kaplan, 63, added: “It was a shocker. It was an enormous crowd and they didn’t seem able to cope. As far as owners are concerned, the queue from midday took 40 minutes; you were better off walking down to the turnstile and paying. There was one guy with a runner in the first who never made it in to see the race, which is awful.

“There were two lovely chaps on the owners’ and trainers’ stand but they had just one list and only one person could do the job. It was an absolute farce, I’m surprised there wasn’t a riot.”

“There were queues to get drinks, food you never saw at all, and only one table on the end for tea and coffee covered in dirty mugs and serviettes. When you looked around the whole course there were queues for everything. There’s no question they need to cap the capacity and have more facilities available.”

12.29.14

PSG’s Ibrahimovic Killed Bullwinkle

Posted in Football, Going To The Zoo at 10:26 pm by

Monday’s Guardian reports that Paris Saint-Germain striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic marked the holiday season by shooting a moose. And not the one depicted in the advertisement above.

Ibramimovic is enjoying his mid-season break in his homeland but the Swedish newspaper Expressen ran a story on its front page over the weekend claiming the 33-year-old had killed the 500kg animal “with one shot through its heart”.

His actions clearly impressed Bo Skold, the general secretary of the Swedish Association for Hunting, who admitted he had never shot an animal of similar size. However, Camilla Björkbom, of Sweden’s Animal Rights’ Union was not so glowing in her praise.

“It is problematic,” she told Expressen. “It is always problematic when famous people do things like that, because then it looks like they support this type of activities.”

12.28.14

A New Low For Blackpool’s Oyston : Civility Lessons From The Daily Mail

Posted in Football, twitter twatter at 10:44 pm by

Of Blackpool chairman Karl Oyston’s recent contentious Twitter correspondence with Seasiders fan Steve Smith, the Daily Mail’s Patrick Collins opines the former’s “departure will not come a moment too soon”.

‘Are you sure we’ve met?’ asks Oyston. ‘I would have remembered such a massive retard.’ He calls him ‘an intellectual cripple’ and tells him to ‘enjoy the rest of your special needs day out’.

He adds: ‘Stop texting f******, you shouldn’t have ever started as you are one tiresome f***** that should spot trains not watch football. Get a life and consider yourself banned from the stadium.’

There is more in similar vein, but you get the drift.

Oyston’s reaction to the publication of the texts was entirely predictable. He made a self-serving apology — ‘I regret stooping to the level of those threatening and abusing my family’ — and he announced he would be making a donation to Blackpool’s Community Trust, which works with organisations supporting disabled people. Money solves everything, you see; fill a few pockets and people forget.

I fancy the Oyston’s know that the game is up, that they have known it since Tuesday evening, when their shirt sponsors Wonga said of Karl’s texts: ‘The comments were unacceptable, something we’ll be making clear to the club.’

A lecture on morality from a legalised loan shark, there can be no more humiliating chastisement.