05.06.12
I’m Almost 100% Certain This Wasn’t JaVale McGee’s Mom
Though I can’t say with authority that Calvin Klein was unavailable for comment, he’s not returning my phone calls, either.
Brooks : Let He Who Has Never Puked In His Own Playoff Beard Cast The First Stone
Nashville’s Alexander Radulov and Andrei Kostitsyn found themselves temporarily benched during the Predators’ Western Conference semi-final series against Phoenix after being found guilty of violating the team’s curfew last weekend. It’s a somewhat hysterical overreaction in the view of the New York Post’s Larry Brooks, who claims the pair, “have been attacked righteously, mercilessly and gleefully, turned into stereotypical cultural caricatures, because you know, no North American in the history of the Stanley Cup playoffs has ever imbibed too much or broken curfew.”
It fits, even if somewhat obliquely, into the pattern in which “Russian” has somehow (and once again) become a pejorative in the NHL lexicon, because, you know, there’s no way on earth the Devils could win an overtime game with Ilya Kovalchuk and Alexei Ponikarovsky both on the ice at the same time.
It fits into a pattern in which it is deemed wise to play Alexander Ovechkin fewer than 14 minutes in a playoff game in which No. 8 himself actually scored the third-period winner because, by some accounts, he was “fresh.”
Did Radulov and Kostitsyn, respectively the Predators’ leading scorer and tied as leading goal-scorer in the playoffs, merit criticism and Game 3 benching for their indiscretion?
Yes they did. But the piling on was jingoistic and the Game 4 benching that followed in order that Nashville could keep a couple of more fourth-liners in the lineup against the Coyotes (and how did that work out anyway?) was representative of the reason Radulov fled Barry Trotz’s team in the first place.
05.05.12
Imagine All The Drama We’d Be Spared If Liberty De Vitto Owned A Piece Of The Nets Instead Of Jay-Z
It’s been a rough 24 hours for frequent CSTB-target Phil Mushnick, with more than a handful of media outlets calling for the NY Post columnist’s firing after he proposed a rather crude new nickname for Brooklyn’s new NBA franchise. Thing is, Phil’s dropping of a (censored) N-bomb didn’t happen in a vacuum. Much as I often disagree with Mushnick and find his worldview limited at best, I don’t believe for a second he’d actually advocate using that slur under any circumstances. Instead, this was another example of his (continued) demonization of Jay-Z. I’m not sure why it’s been so hard for some readers to grasp that Mushnick is protesting the casual use of racial slurs, though he’s clearly picked an inelegant way to do so.
All of that said, if Phil is wondering today why it’s ok for Jay-Z to employ such language but not a columnist for a daily newspaper, I’d humbly suggest that Jay-Z has had a very different sort of conversation happening with his audience. It’s a bit dimwitted to take Phil’s words at face value and conclude he’d genuinely like to see the Nets renamed in a such fashion (or that he’d find such a rebranding humorous). By the same token, Phil has continuously shown a staggering lack of sophistication when it comes to cultural expression other than the types he knows and respects. For years, Phil’s columns have been filled with teeth-gnashing over any number of hip-hop stars getting cuddly with the sports industry. Courtside appearances by Jack Nicholson, James Gandolfini (just to name two thespians who’ve portrayed killers), receive far less criticism, if any at all.
For those who’ve opined Phil can’t handle a young black man like Jay-Z rising to power in the business world, hey, you’re entitled to your opinion, but I think that’s a stretch. The overwhelming majority of Mushnick’s favorite subjects to harangue are older white men ; no one ever confused Vince McMahon, Mike Francesa or James Dolan with a threat to the white status quo. But I do think he’s got an unfortunate blind spot when it comes to a musical genre that’s been a big of the mainstream (if not the day to day lives of his readers, regardless of race) for eons. I would feel bad if Phil’s inability to relate to the modern world is what ends up costing him his job, but fuck, if you go out your way to pen something that’s clearly provocative, you can’t always control what you’re provoked. If Phil is simply alluding to hate speech rather than using it outright, he picked the wrong medium. Take it from me, self-published bloggers without advertisers can be as inelegant as they wanna be, 24-7.
05.04.12
Nats Fever : Catch It (While You’re Waiting For Redskins Training Camp To Open)
(it’s amazing how long it can take a franchise to recover from a mascot exposing his or herself to fans)
Despite featuring two of baseball’s more highly touted young stars in the form of hurler Stephen Strasburg and rookie OF Bryce Harper, the Nationals have struggled to fill their relatively new ballpark this season, a circumstance partially due to the Capitals’ post-season run. And, if you believe Washington (baseball) CEO Andrew Feffer — who differs from predecessors in that he’s not simply content to sell tickets to Phillies fans — DC residents simply aren’t used to having their own baseball team. From the Washington Post’s Barry Svrluga :
Tuesday, in Harper’s first game in Washington, 22,675 fans came to 41,000-seat Nationals Park. The following night, with hockey’s Capitals hosting a playoff game less than 21 / 2 miles away at Verizon Center, only 16,274 fans watched Harper rip three hits in a win over Arizona. When Strasburg made his first home start of 2012, 16,245 came to see it — more than 5,000 fewer than had witnessed any of his previous home starts.
Attendance at Thursday night’s game against Arizona was 19,656.
Feffer cites a well-worn list of obstacles to selling mid-week tickets early in a baseball season: iffy weather, school still in session, more competition from other sports. And the club still leans on the fact that it is still, relatively, a nascent entity. The Phillies have played, uninterrupted, in Philadelphia since 1883. The Nationals relocated from Montreal in 2005, becoming the District’s first baseball team in 34 years.
“There’s a whole generation that missed baseball for 30 years,” Feffer said. “It’s still a start-up. The biggest challenge, and probably the greatest opportunity, is building the fan base from the ground up. That takes time.”
Remembering Adam Yauch, Knicks Fan
My own personal history with the Beastie Boys is minimal/inconsequential, and as such, I defer to those who deeply loved and appreciated their oeuvre. I can’t, for instance, tell you The Young and The Useless blew Public Image off the stage at the Channel, because they didn’t. I had zero to do with the Beastie Boys’ inclusion on Tom Paine’s ‘Speed Trials’ comp. (though I might’ve neglected to deliver their copies in a timely fashion). That said, whether it was due to their genre-redefining recordings, terrific videos or paving the way for the far inferior Vice Magazine, collectively and individually, Mike D, Ad-Rock and MCA brought unusual amounts of wit and intelligence to a mainstream often devoid of both. And they poured a bucket of water over Chuck Eddy! OK, it’s not exactly up there with trying to Free Tibet, but I still think it counts for something.
While I sincerely hope Adam Yauch’s final day on this mortal coil was spent doing something other than watching the New York Knicks be throttled by Miami, Yahoo Sports’ Dan Devine reminds us that MCA had logged more than few hours in his lifetime watching and representing the former, in moments high and low.
The Beasties referenced the Knicks a fair amount over the years — “I’m Clyde and I’m rockin’ steady” from “Pass the Mic,” Mike D’s Hawthorne Wingo drop on “B-Boys Makin’ with the Freak-Freak,” the immortal “I got heart like John Starks” line from “Get It Together,” the Latrell Sprewell namecheck and MCA’s own “Would someone on the Knicks please drive the lane?” on the “Hello Nasty” track “Unite,” and probably a ton of other NBA references I’m blanking on as I work this all out — and it made sense, because the Beasties were, are and will be as New York as the name on the front of those Knicks jerseys. Jay-Z’s squad can reference Beasties songs in their merch all they want, but you’ll have a hard time convincing me MCA, like all Knicks fans, would have ever rooted for the Nets, no matter what ZIP code they occupied.
Though I’d be surprised if the Knicks acknowledged Yauch’s passing prior to Game 4, it would be a nice gesture, and one of the few ownership could make that would meet the approval of almost all in attendance (short of the club being put up for sale or James Dolan retiring from music).
Possible Evidence That No One Is Editing Phil Mushnick’s Column
NY Post sports media conscience Phil Mushnick has made no secret of his distaste for contemporary hip-hop, singling out Jay-Z for repeated criticism nearly every time the M.C./exec’s name pops up in connection with the Nets or the NBA. Phil, who seems to cut any number of book authors, movie directors and actors the sort of slack he’d deny those in Jay-Z’s medium, took advantage of the Nets’ Brooklyn logo unveiling this week to drop the following bit of wit and wisdom on the Post’s Friday morning readership (link courtesy David Colon) :
As long as the Nets are allowing Jay-Z to call their marketing shots — what a shock that he chose black and white as the new team colors to stress, as the Nets explained, their new “urban” home — why not have him apply the full Jay-Z treatment?Why the Brooklyn Nets when they can be the New York N——s? The cheerleaders could be the Brooklyn B—-hes or Hoes. Team logo? A 9 mm with hollow-tip shell casings strewn beneath. Wanna be Jay-Z hip? Then go all the way!
Gothamist seems to consider the above, “Insanely Racist”, which is a slightly more eye-popping headline than, “Mushnick Regurgitates The Same Argument For The 1000th Time”.
05.03.12
Move Over Magic, C-Webb : Adem Ljajic Is The Modern Coach Killer
“It used to be that a football manager could larrump a football boot at Mr Posh Spice’s forehead and get away with it,” bemoans The Guardian’s Jacob Steinberg, no doubt disturbed that in the modern environment of Serie A, a soccer equivalent of Reggie Jackson vs. Billy Martin wasn’t tolerated.
Fiorentina manager Delio Rossi has been given his marching orders for his touchline bust-up with Adem Ljajic during Wednesday night’s 2-2 draw with Novara. The incident occurred during the first half of the match when, with Fiorentina losing 2-0, Rossi took decisive action, removing Ljajic, and then swiftly took even more decisive action when the player sarcastically applauded the substitution. Rossi reacted to the dissent like a medieval gentleman, appearing to administer a slap to the face, perhaps putting on a duelling glove first, and then had to be held back by his coaching staff as he was winding up to punch the bewildered Ljajic.
Whether he told him to “E potete portare la vostra cena cazzo” remains unclear. Whether it was worth it is also up for debate. On the one hand, there are those who would relish the chance to punch a whinging footballer in the fizzog; on the other, Fiorentina’s president, Andrea Della Valle, sacked Rossi immediately after the match. Still, at least he has the satisfaction of knowing he managed what proved beyond John Sitton.
Ratto On Seau’s Death : You Can No Longer Pretend There’s No Toll For Your NFL Entertainment
Much has been said in the past day about the suicide of 12-time Pro Bowl LB Junior Seau, little of it as nonsensical as the radio & twitter blatherings of Sirius/XM’s Dino Costa, all-too-quick to proclaim Seau a coward for abandoning his children. Aside from the irony of Costa, a slow-witted bully who blocks Twitter followers who have the temerity to expose his hatefuck commentary calling anyone else a pussy, I’d think he’d have just a bit of compassion for Seau given the broadcaster’s own firsthand experience at going thru life with brain damage. It will be a while before we know for certain about the condition of Seau’s brain, but in the view of CSN Bay Area’s Ray Ratto, the former Chargers icon’s decision to aim for his own chest serves as it’s own sort of suicide note, if not, “Roger Goodell’s worst nightmare” (“Seau’s suicide means that we can no longer un-know the fears of its greatest players for an uncertain and potentially horrifying future”)
We looked the other way with boxing. We looked the other way with hockey, and we’re going to look the other way with MMA when more data comes in. We tolerate nearly anything that happens to others in pursuit of our own entertainment, and if we are the entertainers, we will tolerate nearly anything that allows us to get paid for it.
But when Junior Seau killed himself, he forced us to accept that a famous and much-beloved figure is now going to be linked to the grisliest unpleasantness about the sport. You can still love football. We aren’t taking you on a perp walk of shame here, or trying to make you hate what you love. That choice was, is, and should always be yours for as long as football is legal.
But this is also true. You can never say Junior Seau didn’t tell you what he believed comes with the game. Even if his death was completely unrelated to trauma, and it may be, he feared it enough to choose a specific way of suicide to save what he thought would be the incriminating evidence, and that is information players will have to live with, whether they make the NFL or stop after high school.
Jerry Lawler Helps Memphis Avoid Blowing Another Gigantic Lead
Though I don’t really endorse piledriving Clippers fans, anytime The King would like to throw a fireball in the direction of Donald Sterling, I think he’ll find support throughout the league if not the free world.
05.02.12
The Sarah Phillips Mess : In Which The Content Farm Gives ESPN The High Hat
(without proper due diligence, there’s no way of knowing if this is really King Kaufman)
Man, who’d have ever imagined former Mets GM Steve would be the second most embarrassing Phillips to be associated with ESPN? Deadspin has reported extensively on sports blogging’s way-less interesting answer to J.T. Leroy, Sarah Phillips and how she and an Oregon associate parlayed her ESPN Playbook gig into a series of creepy /criminal attempts at defrauding other aspiring nu-media schnooks. Though I’m tempted to think anyone who hoped to profit from an idea as flimsy as “NBA Memes” deserves to lose their shirt, it’s still a fascinating story, and full credit to the oft-maligned (by me, anyway) Gawker property for pursuing a scoop most of the established media wouldn’t have bothered with (not until reading it elsewhere, anyway).
If the Phillips story has been a treasure trove for Deadspin, consider the case of the Bleacher Report, where posts culled from Deadspin’s Phillips coverage are nearing double-digits in less than two days. “Sarah Phillips Scandal Raises New Concerns for Online Journalism” headlined a post from Pulitzer-winner Gabe Zaldivar Tuesday (“Sarah Phillips rose to stardom in a blink of an eye, leaving no room for the crucial step of becoming a viable journalist”), while a Wednesday post from that modern answer to Red Smith, Mike Chiara, called the scandal, “a story that has certainly taken on a life of its own,” (which is a somewhat diplomatic way of saying it’s provided the easiest content imaginable for B/R).
When you combine these alleged scams with the fact that nobody at ESPN had actually ever met her, it had to be an easy decision to let her go. In the Internet age, you never know exactly what you’re getting and it appears as though ESPN had a con artist on its hands.
Even if Phillips is innocent, there is simply too much bad press to make her worth keeping for ESPN. The sports media giant looks really bad in this case as it failed to do its due diligence in hiring Phillips, so all ESPN can do at this point is sever ties and hope that the whole situation just goes away.
I’m curious, how much “due diligence” was observed when Bleacher Report hired Chiara or Zaldivar? Can B/R CEO Brian Grey pick either of these gentlemen out of a police lineup, or off the top of his head name one interesting piece of writing from either without looking it up first? How do Phillips’ “alleged scams” measure on the ethical scoreboard compared to B/R’s Google-rigging and reluctance to compensate nearly all of their workforce?
Please, by all means, let’s have tons more pointless speculation what ESPN’s blunder means to the future of journalism, particularly if it’s delivered by a source that’s done everything possible to destroy it.
NewsCorp’s Badwill Campaign Extends To England’s New Manager
Given the degree of scrutiny surrounding most aspects of Rupert Murdoch’s embattled UK media empire at the moment, was it really a great idea for The Sun’s to take a shot at newly appointed England manager Roy Hodgson’s speech impediment? The late Gilda Radner, is of course, unavailable for comment on the following item from the BBC :
The Football Association has said a front page headline in The Sun about new England manager Roy Hodgson’s manner of speech was “unacceptable”.
The story, referencing Mr Hodgson’s pronunciation of the letter R, has led to more than 100 complaints to the Press Complaints Commission.
FA chairman David Bernstein said: “We are delighted at the media response to Roy’s appointment but are disappointed with the headline in The Sun, which we consider is in poor taste and disrespectful.”
Hahn : Who Amongst Us Hasn’t Attacked A Fire Extinguisher & Killed Our Team’s Playoff Chances?
OK, the above headline isn’t exactly what MSG.com’s Alan Hahn is trying to stay about Knicks F Amar’re Stoudemire’s gruesome, self-inflicted injury that rendered him unavailable for a Game 3 clash with Miami. However, Hahn, opines, “I prefer to remain more upset at (Stoudemire’s) lack of defensive focus and rebounding determination, which won’t heal the way the hand will eventually heal.”
Stoudemire’s Kevin Brown/Doyle Alexander moment on Monday night was inexcusable and unforgivable, but let’s not churn too much in the sanctimonious rhetoric. Let he who never once regrettably smashed something in anger — and don’t tell me you didn’t during the second quarter of Game 1 — cast the first stone.
The senseless act that followed after the game was over — when it was too late to get mad — wound up only compounding his frustrations and the added emotion of the tragic loss of his brother, which is not something we can just simply dismiss. This was brewing from a toxic blend of a reality that his Knicks haven’t played at the same level as the Heat in the first two games of this series along with an underlying exasperation of being lost in an offense (he had just nine shots in Game 2, seven in Game 1) that the Heat have completely handcuffed. And let’s face it, Chris Bosh, whom Dwyane Wade and LeBron James chose to join them over Stoudemire in Miami, continues to outplay him.
05.01.12
Andy Pettitte Doesn’t Remember Misremembering Anything
Yankees P Andy Pettitte took a break from his comeback attempt earlier today to take the witness stand in former teammate Roger Clemens’ federal perjury trial in Washington DC, with the former repeating under oath his allegation that decision to try Human Growth Hormone happened under Clemens’ counsel. From the New York Times’ Juliet Macur, who describes a comical courtroom scene that obliged Pettitte to “painstakingly explain even the most basic aspects of the game for the jurors,” (“at one point, (US Attorney Steve) Durham asked him if he ‘was familiar with something called the disabled list’ and the judge asked him, “Is there a connection between Boston and the Red Sox?’”).
“Roger had mentioned to me that he had taken H.G.H. and that it could help with recovery,” Pettitte said. “You know, that’s all I really remember about the conversation.”
And, Pettitte said without flinching, that Clemens accused him in 2005 of remembering that conversation inaccurately. Clemens said it was his wife, not him, who had used H.G.H.
“Obviously, I was a little flustered because I thought that he had told me he did,” Pettitte said. “My reaction after that was, well, no good asking him or talking to him about this now, and I just walked out, end of the conversation.”
It was only after more than two hours of questioning by Assistant United States Attorney Steven Durham that Pettitte began to look uneasy, shifting in his seat and taking deep breaths.
He was asked to point to Clemens, to whom he said he has not spoken in “a long time” because lawyers in the case advised them not to communicate. But now Clemens was seated at the defense table about 25 feet away. In a seemingly awkward moment for the two ex-teammates, their eyes finally met.
“Yeah, it is difficult,” Pettitte said when asked if it was hard to testify against Clemens, his boyhood idol and longtime mentor. When asked why, Pettitte said in a low voice, “Cuz, good friend.”
If You Missed Mike Woodson’s Birthday Last March…
…please don’t try to make it up to him by delivering this t-shirt as a belated gift tomorrow night at MSG.
Pippen Urges Young Bulls, “Do As I Say, Not As I’ve Done”
6-time NBA champion Scottie Pippen took a little break from suggesting Michael Jordan doesn’t measure up to LeBron James to pen a pep talk of sorts to the contemporary Chicago Bulls, no doubt saddened by the loss of their talismanic PG Derrick Rose. Writes Scottie in an open letter published at NBA.com, “to a man, it’s time for each of you to take a look in the mirror.”
Decide who you really are and what you represent as a basketball player. Reflect on what you have brought to the table for your team all season long and why you’re a valuable member of the Bulls. Because all of you have contributed to this team’s incredible success. Ask yourself what you can do for the team moving forward. Whether it’s through your verbal leadership or diving on the floor after a loose ball, it’s going to be all about grinding it out moving forward. If there is one piece of advice I can offer you, it’s to put every last ounce of effort you have out there to make everyone proud—Derrick, the fans, and first and foremost, yourself.
While I dealt with my share of injuries throughout my career, I was fortunate to have been healthy for the majority of our run in the 1990’s. The same can be said about Michael Jordan. But, when Michael retired for the first time to play baseball in 1993, we were faced with a similar challenge to what you’re up against—playing without your best player and leader. Granted, Michael chose to step away from the game and Derrick is sidelined because of his injury, but it comes down to the players who are still out there coming together to collectively rise up as a group and win games. We exceeded a lot of expectations in the regular season, finishing 55-27. But as we entered the postseason, a lot of people had written us off and said we didn’t have a chance without Michael. There was a lot of talk about how we wouldn’t make it out of the first round and might even get swept. But we didn’t listen to any of that. We believed in ourselves and we went out to play the type of basketball that we knew we were capable of playing. We swept Cleveland in the first round and it was a great feeling. Even though we ultimately fell short and lost to New York in a second round Game 7, we all believed we could have—and should have—done better. My point is that there was never a moment where we felt sorry for ourselves or let anyone push us into any self-doubt. We stayed positive and believed that if we stuck together and played good, hard defense, we could beat any team out there. That’s what I believe you can do as well.
It’s good to know after all these years there was never a moment where Pippen felt sorry for himself or failed to buy in to the team concept. Coming soon, Scottie’s words of wisdom to the Orlando Magic (“YOU’VE GOT THEM RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT THEM”), and encouragement for the New York Knicks (“it’s five-on-five — anything can happen”)
04.30.12
Amar’e Stoudemire Goes To Unusual Lengths To Avoid Seeing Matthew Modine At Courtside
“It’s still a seven-game series, you got to win four to get out of it…they held serve at home. I feel good about going home and playing in front of our crowd to see what we are made of.” So spoke Knicks interim head coach Mike Woodson after New York lost their 12th consecutive post-season game, this time a 104-94 defeat to the Miami Heat in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference playoffs. Presumably, Woodson’s optimistic words came before he learned of Amar’e Stoudemire’s post-game confrontation….with a fire extinguisher. Newsday’s Neil Best attempts to explain :
Stoudemire suffered a severe laceration when he punched a glass case in which a fire extinguisher was housed outside the team’s locker room at American Airlines Arena.
Reporters were prevented by security officials from speaking to Stoudemire as he headed for the team bus. The Knicks said his status would be evaluated upon their return to New York.
The team’s locker room was closed to reporters for about 40 minutes after the game — four times longer than usual — and paramedics were seen leaving the room after treating Stoudemire. Both the Knicks and Heat doctors also worked on Stoudemire.
His teammates did not sound optimistic that he will be in uniform Thursday.
For Sale : Things Once Worn By The Sultan Of Sloth
Former major league hurler/fitness expert David Wells is auctioning items from his extensive memorabilia collection in order to renovate the baseball field at his alma mater, Point Loma High School (San Diego, CA). Amongst the artifacts on offer ; an 1930 Yankee cap once owned by Babe Ruth — and famously worn by Wells during a 1997 Yankee game, much to the chagrin of Joe Torre. From the New York Times’ Tyler Kepner :
Among the Wells items up for auction are a Christy Mathewson autographed ball; Thurman Munson’s game-worn shin guards; an autographed, game-used Phil Rizzuto glove from 1941; a ball autographed by several stars of the Negro leagues, including Josh Gibson and Satchel Paige; and a felt bowler hat worn by Lou Gehrig in 1928.
But the prize is the Ruth cap, which carries a minimum bid of $50,000 and is inscribed on the inside leather band with “G. Ruth” and his size, 7 3/8. When Wells wore it in a game, he gave the heirloom an intriguing modern twist, even if his manager made him remove it after one inning.
“Joe Torre fined me,” Wells said. “He said it wasn’t the required uniform. I said, ‘It’s got an ‘NY’ on it.’ He said, ‘Well, it’s not the ‘NY’ we have.’ I said: ‘You’ve really got to be kidding me. But if you’ve got to fine me, go for it.’ ”
Torre fined Wells $2,500, a pittance compared with the value of the cap, which Wells is about to find out.
“Let me put it this way,” said David Kohler, the president of SCP Auctions, which will take bids online through May 19. “The last Ruth hat sold at auction, in 2008, brought $327,750. That hat was awesome, but this hat’s in better condition and it comes from David Wells. So we feel like it’s probably going to be north of that. This could get pretty crazy.”
His Name Is Lou Merloni Of Framingham, Mass, And He’s Here To Kick Bobby Valentine’s Ass
With sincere apologies to Peter McNeeley for the above appropriated headline, former Red Sox IF turned analyst Lou Merloni took to CSNNE’s “Sports Sunday” with Michael Felger to weigh in on Bobby Valentine’s first month in charge of the Red Sox. While some have insisted that Valentine cannot be blamed for the composition of the club’s roster, Felger argues recent events suggest, “the game has passed him by… it feels like he’s every bit of 62 years old.”
“I’ve talked to a lot of baseball people, I mean guys that either scout or [have] been around this game a long time,” said Merloni (above). “You got a lot of people shaking their heads at some of these moves that he has made . . . “
One move in particular that they both mentioned: Not knowing that Twins starter Liam Hendricks was right-handed last week, which forced Valentine to change his lineup about an hour before the game.
“[The] Red Sox faced that pitcher . . . twice in spring training, including a five-inning start,” said Felger, later adding: “And then a month later, Bobby’s filling out the lineup card to face this pitcher and doesn’t know whether he’s left-handed or right-handed. That is . . . wow!”
“Somewhere,” Merloni joked later, “Carmine (the computer) . . . is just blowing up because all of these matchups and all of these numbers are based on who you’re going up against that night . . .
“And if you don’t even know if it’s a lefty or a righty, then what’s the starting point? It’s actually been kind of scary.”
04.29.12
She’s No Hack : Advice Columnist Carolyn Hax Stands Up For Your Sensitive Editor
I tend leave my personal life out of these pages. Not simply because I am a very private person, but also since I’m well aware you’re a sneaky, jealous lot, always looking for the smallest crack in my armor. But what I can I do when someone very close to me chooses to solicit guidance from syndicated columnist Carolyn Hax rather than confront me directly?
Hi, Carolyn:
Last night I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. During one scene, he started to tear up, and by the end he was pretty much crying. I was flabbergasted at first — my boyfriend is pretty “manly” (to his credit, the scene was sports-related) and doesn’t get emotional easily. While the scene was moving, I would not say it was a tear-jerker.
I made the mistake of laughing.
Well, that made him angry and now he is not speaking to me. Was I wrong or is he being over-sensitive?
– Crying Boyfriend?
Both, but, to borrow some insight from my 8-year-old, you started it.
And wow, you were so much more wrong than he was. His silent treatment is juvenile, yes. But it pains me to think of someone who doesn’t normally show vulnerability getting a ridicule beat-down for it. Maybe the scene wasn’t all that moving to you, but who knows what he has buried inside him that this scene dredged up? And — it was “to his credit” that it was a sports scene? Wow.
Tell him you were totally out of line and have some biases you need to root out.
Your happiness — apart or together — is directly proportional to how safe you feel with the people you love. So, think for a moment how important it is for you to feel safe with a boyfriend, then do whatever you can to be that safe place for him. His willingness to trust you will depend largely on your sincerity, but also on his courage. That’s what it will take for him to show his heart around you again.
Thank you, Ms. Hax. I’m sure there’s a handful of CSTB readers (perhaps even two handfuls) who not only find nothing weird or distasteful at my openly weeping during a sports-themed motion picture, but might fully relate to what I was going thru.
In short, I don’t know what kind of automaton could watch “Juwanna Mann” without having an emotional reaction.
Prada : Pops Aside, Who Else Would’ve Sat Rose?
The morning after Chicago PG Derrick Rose suffered a season-ending (career threatening?) ACL tear late in the 4th quarter of the Bulls’ Game One defeat of Philadelphia, Rose’s head coach, Tom Thibodeau is the subject of an extensive NY Times profile that characterizes the former Celtics assistant as being basketball fixated to the point of obsession (“asked to expand on Thibodeau’s supposed hobbies, Jeff Van Gundy said, “Just because I said he’s multidimensional doesn’t mean I know what those dimensions are,”). Without needing to reference Greg Bishop’s piece, SB Nation’s Mike Prada defends Thibodeau against those aghast that Rose was still on the floor with a 12 point lead and 70 seconds remaining, warning the second-guessers, “as long as passionate players and nervous coaches exist, these things are always in jeopardy of happening.”
Thibodeau is hardly the only coach that never feels secure in the heat of the moment. Later in the day, Heat coach Erik Spoelstra put star Dwyane Wade back into the game in the fourth quarter with the Heat leading by 34 points, as if there was legitimate danger that the Knicks could come back. Wade played five minutes before he was finally exiled to the sidelines with the Heat leading by 32. This was after the Rose injury happened, mind you.
That’s just one example. Lakers fans have been screaming at coach Mike Brown all season for not resting his stars more when they were being blown out in several games. Clippers fans have every reason to freak out about how much Vinny Del Negro played Chris Paul over the course of the season. This goes on and on. Gregg Popovich seems to understand the importance of getting his horses out of the game when they are no longer needed, but he’s the exception, not the rule. Most coaches don’t operate that way.
From afar, it’s easy to say they should. In a sense, leaving a star in the game when it is decided is akin to not putting on your seatbelt. Sure, it won’t matter most of the time, but all it takes is one time for it to cost you. Then, you’re negligent.
The thing is, unless there’s legislation passed that limits hoops analysis to those who are either active or retired coaches, criticism will always come “from afar”. Had Rose been benched in the final two minutes and Elton Brand suddenly morphed into Reggie Miller, Thibodeau would be catching heat today, too. Those complaints would also have emerged, “from afar”, with the possible exception of the coach’s employers, who’ve yet to retain him beyond the 2012-13 season.
04.28.12
Scott Raab Would Like To Remind You He’s Still Got A Hard On For LeBron
“We are supposed to gasp at his historic Player Efficiency Rating and admire him on his bicycle, the better to forget the sulky twit who crapped himself in last year’s Finals and then defended his imagined honor by ripping the millions of fans basking in his failure,” writes Esquire’s Scott Raab, erasing any lingering doubt that he’s not supporting LeBron James’ MVP candidacy. Raab, whose serial stalking of James won him the ire of the Miami Heat public relations department, though perhaps not a best-seller, uses the start of today’s Knicks/Heat Eastern Conference playoff series to declare, “I’ll root hard for that son of a bitch to lose.” And he doesn’t mean Mike Miller.
Sports Illustrated is now running a LeBron cover story that, to those familiar with his seven-year career as a Cavalier, hits every phony note, from his annual summertime quest to improve some aspect of his game to his annual “no excuses” proclamation. All that has changed is the comparison to when sundry NBA legends first won a championship; instead of the number of seasons played, the writer kindly measures LeBron against them by age — simply because he seems like less complete a loser that way.
James is finishing his ninth NBA season now, playing for perhaps the most overrated team in history, and not just NBA history. The Heat have no reliable point guard and no capable center and no coherent half-court offense and no apparent ability to overcome adversity. They clown shitty teams, stomp and scowl and flex and pose, but — just like the Whore — their heart is cotton candy and their jaw is made of glass.
I’ll take the Knicks in six.
Noble : Modern Media, Fans, Too Easily Outraged / Tiltilated
(White and Gibson, prior to the latter putting one in the former’s ribs)
“These days,” writes MLB.com’s Marty Noble, “we are routinely intolerant of incidents that, 25 years ago, went unreported, unnoticed or at least disregarded.” He’s specifically referring to Ozzie Guillen’s comments about Fidel Castro, but perhaps Noble forgets the ill-will that resulted from Eric Show’s public support of the John Birch Society. Instead, Marty is fixated on Cleveland’s Ublado Jimenez drilling former Colorado teammate Troy Tulowitzki during spring training, and seems to suggest the incident wouldn’t have been nearly as newsworthy had it happened, say, before you were born.
Similar circumstances developed in 1968 when Bob Gibson stood taller on the mound than any man, and Bill White, Gibson’s buddy and former Cardinals teammate, was batting for the Phillies. It was not the first time they had faced each other. Gibson intentionally hit his left-handed-hitting friend because White had ventured too far into Gibson’s territory, aka the other side of the plate.
It came as no surprise and not because of Gibson’s reputation. White had been warned by his buddy. And after he was hit, White made such a fuss about it that he and Gibson made plans to dine together the next time their schedules permitted.
Jimenez was fined and suspended.
Gibson broke bread with his attacker.
The difference is greater than the number of years separating the two episodes and as subtle as 98-mph chin music. Jimenez withdrew his appeal, a decision based in wisdom; the next time he and Tulo are 60-feet-6-inches apart won’t happen for a while.
The only differences Gibson and White have about their episode these days are that each man claims he paid for the peace-pipe dinner and that White claims the pitch that struck him “didn’t hurt as much he hoped it would.”
“If it didn’t hurt, why is he still whining?” Gibson says.
04.27.12
Can North America’s 6th Or 7th Most Popular Sport Really Afford To Lose Fans Like Akrobatik?
Boston-based M.C. Akrobatik is a self-professed recent convert to the Bruins, having watched their 2011 Stanley Cup run while recovering from open heart surgery (“I never once was conscious of the fact that I was watching a bunch of white guys play a sport, although thanks to Vicodin they may as well all have been purple”). Commissioned by Bruins W Brad Marchand to record a Wu Tang-themed B’s tribute EP, Akrobatik admits that upon seeing Washington’s Jason Ward eliminate Boston on Wednesday night, his initial tweet read, “Sorry, Timmy (Thomas). I guess that one was for Obama.” As such, he’s not surprised by the avalanche of hate-tweets aimed in Ward’s direction, opining for Future Boston Alliance, “As soon as I realized that it was in fact Ward (who’s family, like mine, migrated from Barbados to North America) who scored the decisive OT goal, a lot of people would be thinking (and saying) ‘nigger.’”
At once supporting the “cloak of anonymity” argument and the NHL desperately needing an anti-racism campaign has been my experience playing NHL 12 on my Xbox 360. I love hockey, it’s a beautiful sport. The grace and coordination necessary to pull off the feats that NHL players do is nothing short of awe-inspiring. Since my ankles would probably snap if I even laced up a pair of ice skates, I enjoy emulating these guys’ talents in the video game. Unfortunately, almost without fail I encounter bigots who immediately start me calling “nigger” once my dreadlock-wearing defenseman takes the ice. I can never enjoy more than one or two games with a group without being reminded that “niggers” are not welcome in hockey and that it’s a white man’s sport.
As crazy as that seems in 2012, it is very real, and has been my experience while trying to enjoy a game I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for. Now, these guys are people that I probably see on the MBTA during my commute to the studio, and maybe even fans of mine. It’s hard for me to quantify with words how disheartening that is for me.
My love affair with hockey is coming to an end. It’s really too bad that people still have not gotten past their ignorance and insecurity. But I guess it’s a good thing that there is still a realm that bleeds out the racism that still exists deep within the hearts of so many people, particularly Americans. All I can do is walk away confused.
Go Celtics.
Citi Field – Available For International Soccer, Pop Concerts…And Anti-Internet Porn Rallies
(one of the many dangers of not using the internet is that you might have no idea what venue you’re looking for)
Jewish Press reports that “tens of thousands of Ultra-Orthodox Jews will participate in a huge rally to be held on Sunday evening, May 20, at Citi Field (Shea Stadium) in Queens, New York, to combat the evils of the Internet and the damages caused by advanced electronic devices.” Presumably, none of those in attendance will require the password to Citi Field’s wireless network.
The website JDN cites one of the event organizers who said: “This will be a mass rally never before seen in the history of Orthodox Jewry in the U.S. It will be a gathering of unity of all the Jews living in the U.S., a gathering to disseminate information and a prayer rally for the success of Klal-Israel’s war on the Technology which threatens the sanctity of the homes of Israel.”
The “Gdolei Israel” (leading sages) behind the conference have specifically ordered to schedule it for the eve of Rosh Chodesh Sivan, a day which is considered particularly fortuitous when it comes to children’s education, since the goal of their campaign is to save the generation from the ravages of advanced technology.
Though I’m having a little trouble with the notion the internet is being used to publicize an event designed to fight the internet’s pervasive influence, I’m also a tad disappointed these kooks folks couldn’t have joined forces with Stephen Baldwin and made it a multi-denominational happening.
04.26.12
Bloomberg Promises Two Thousand Barclays Center Jobs. Give Or Take 800.
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg (above, right) appeared alongside developer/former Nets owner Bruce Ratner (left) earlier today, with the former promising the latter’s still-under-construction Barclays Center would create 2000 jobs for area residents. Unfortunately for Bloomberg, Ranter stressed that many of those employed would only be at the arena part-time (“at any one time, we’ll have at most 800 people”), which led to the following heated exhange between the Mayor and New York Magazine‘s Norman Oder :
So, what would be the number of full-time equivalent (FTE) jobs, a not uncommon measure?
“I don’t have any idea what that is,” responded the famously data-driven mayor.
It was pointed out to him that the Empire State Development Corporation estimated FTE employment at 1,120.
“The state can say anything they want,” responded Bloomberg testily. “I don’t know.”
“They approved the project,” this reporter continued.
“That’s fine. What does that got to do with their numbers? Maybe their numbers are right, maybe their numbers are wrong,” Bloomberg responded. “Address it to the state, don’t address it to me.”
Ratner took the podium and cracked a joke: “Norman, we’ve created one more job. That’s a job for you.”
A Forest City spokesman later provided a figure: 1,240 FTE jobs.
