08.01.14

It Would Not Be Harsh To Say This Is The Greatest (SFW) Craigslist Ad Of All Time

Posted in record collector disease, The Marketplace at 5:37 pm by

There’s no way this one’s still available.

Nike To Fisher : Please Explain To Your Son Who His Father Works For

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron, The Marketplace at 4:05 pm by

With an item that narrowly missed being the meat of today’s Phil Mushnick column (give it a few days, folks), the Wall Street Journal’s Sharon Terlap and Andrew Beaton report FSU head coach Jumbo Fisher was called to the carpet by Nike after his 9 year old son was seen on national TV donning an Under Armor shirt.

The postgame embrace, captured by ABC cameras, struck most viewers as a heartwarming moment—especially given Ethan Fisher’s widely reported struggle with Fanconi anemia, a rare and serious genetic disease. But a different reaction emerged from one camp: Nike Inc.

In an email sent hours after the Nov. 2 game, Mark Dupes, who as Nike’s assistant director for football sports marketing helps oversee the company’s $4.2 million licensing and apparel deal with the school, congratulated Florida State administrators on the win. “Hey guys great win and game! Appreciate everything you all do for us! Keep it rolling.”

Then Dupes turned to another matter: the sweatshirt Ethan wore during that on-field embrace. “Hey got a text from the USA Director of Sports Marketing last night telling me of how good things look w FSU and our players and sideline staff, exposure for the Brand was exceptional. Then 5 min later I rec a new message…Said ABC cameras were on Jimbo and his Son ad end of the game…His son was Wearing Under Armour FSU sweatshirt! Ouch. Can we please ask Jimbo to eliminate that from the son’s wardrobe in the future! Let me know if I can help w anything. Thx guys. MD”

07.31.14

Not Since Milton Bradley Anger Management Night Has The Oakland A’s Marketing Department Been So Left Holding The Bag

Posted in Baseball, Fashion at 9:23 pm by

Or, if you prefer, “giant skid full of Yoenis Cespedes giveaway shirts”.

Megdal : What Part Of The Mets Are Broke(n) Don’t You Understand?

Posted in Baseball at 4:12 pm by

As the 2014 MLB Trade Deadline has come and gone, far removed from the blockbusters that saw such leading lights as Jon Lester and David Price change uniforms are the New York Mets, who proved to be neither sellers (of Bartolo Colon or Daniel Murphy) or buyers (of Troy Tulowitzki or Carlos Gonzales).  With GM Sandy Alderson (above) missing an opportunity to stockpile young talent while dumping Colon, or conversely, take solid aim at contention in 2015 with the addition of the proven Tulowitzki, unless your name is Ruben Amaro, you’d have every right to wonder “what the fuck is going on”? However, as the far more calm and collected Howard Megdal of Capital New York reminds us, what’s going on is pretty much the same thing that’s been going on every season of the post-Bernie Madoff era (ie. player development aside, very little).

Taking the sum of where the Mets are at this point, it’s easier than ever to see the Mets as one or two key acquisitions away from making a real run at the pennant.

The question, and the whole basis for any serious conversation about Tulowitzki, is whether ownership’s financial problems make such acquisitions close to impossible.

Alderson is finished pretending that the next spending spree is around the corner. The party line is now that as soon as the fans start showing up again, the Mets will spend, a ludicrous blame-the-fans strategy for the predicament the team is in because ownership is spending their excess television revenue to stay afloat financially.

If the Mets had an ability to spend money like the rest of the league, let alone near the top of it, they could afford to make trades like this. They could deal some of their prospects, secure in the knowledge that they were adding the relative certainty of in-prime superstars. (If Tulowitzki’s injury history is an unknown, what on earth do we call the incredibly high attrition and failure rate of pitching prospects?)

Yet Another Commercial Message From The Entertainment Division of Cumbucket Media :

Posted in 12XU, Austin, XETAS at 1:13 pm by

10565676_10152204960796053_843819856_n

(photo by Alison Copeland)

A number of years ago, E Street Band guitarist / thespian / radio programmer Little Steven Van Zandt penned an open letter to bands playing an open-air NYC festival, advising the trios on the bill to strongly considering drafting in auxiliary guitarists, keyboard players, tambourine players, heck even interpretative dancers ala Bez or Guy Picciotto. As Van Zandt explained, the traditional classic rock template consisted of singer/guitarist/bassist/drummer and/or singer/two guitarists/bassist/drummer. Trios, concluded Little Steven, simply lacked the oomph-to-get-the-job-done.

(OK, I’m embellishing a bit. I don’t think he’s familiar with Bez).

I could list a number of historical reasons why he was full of shit, but let’s not dwell on the past. I’ve never used the phrase “dollars to donuts” before but I’m betting dollars AND donuts such narrow notions of who is or isn’t legit are reduced to rubble by Austin’s XETAS. Since their formation in early 2014, the threesome have quickly established themselves as a ridiculously great live band, but the enclosed Ian Rundell-recorded debut hints at the sort of musical range & ambition you’d associate with a group not nearly as new (or hellbent on maintaining anonymity). Tempting though it may be to claim XETAS are walking the tightrope-between-heavy-and-catchy, there’s no acknowledgement said tightrope even exists (SUCK ON THAT, WALLENDA FAMILY). Simply put, there’s songcraft to spare, though there’s few modern examples that hit nearly this hard.

It’s probable you’ve seen all 3 of ‘em toiling in other Austin bands ; guitarist/vocalist D has popped up in Debt, Neighbor, The Gory Details and more recently playing bass in The Gospel Truth, bassist/vocalist K in Foreign Mothers, drummer M in Brain Attack and Debt respectively.

There’s a autumn ’14 tour in the works and a monster debut album planned for early 2015.

Preorder “The Silence” b/w “The Knife” here.

07.30.14

Dan Le Batard’s Narrowly Avoids The Lamest Crowd Funding Initiative Of All Time…

Posted in Basketball, Sports Radio, The Marketplace at 9:41 pm by

…and considering that history of high-tech begging includes the Dino Costa documentary and an upcoming Venus Illuminato release, that’s really saying something.  Romenesko.com reports ESPN Radio’s Dan Le Batard’s attempt to place the above advertisement — using his listeners’ money — was refbuffed by a pair of Ohio newspapers.

Akron Beacon Journal publisher Mark Cohen, who rejected the ad on the right, tells his paper: “I just don’t think it was appropriate for our community. We’re proud that LeBron is back, this is his hometown, and that [ad] is not something we want to be a part of or want to take money for.

Le Batard, who was hoping to buy the ad space with Kickstarter contributions, says the Plain Dealer also rejected the ad. “They have declined our money.”

I’m told a full-page Beacon Journal ad costs about $12,000; Le Batard said on his show that the PD ad would cost about $90,000.

Tony Schiavone Doppelgänger Finds The Satantic Incantations In Backwards Music (Played Forwards)

Posted in Religion, Rock Und Roll at 7:13 pm by

file the above under “cheap excuse just to use that headline (finally)”  (link via Boing Boing)

07.29.14

MLB’s Licensing Division, Unavailable For Comment

Posted in Baseball, Fashion, Racism Corner at 11:56 pm by

Earlier this year, A Tribe Called Red’s DJ NDN caught flack for donning a “Caucasians” tee that appropriated the Cleveland Indians’ much derided Chief Wahoo.  On Tuesday, The Star.com’s Peter Edwards reports the same shirt has become the summer’s hot fashion item on Ontario’s First Nations reserves, with Six Nations Of The Grand River’s Terra Bomberry declaring, “People’s reaction has been all positive and they see the humour in it both on and off the reserve,”

“I thought how hypocritical that he would be accused of racism for wearing a shirt that turns the tables in a satirical way of how our image as native people has been misappropriated by the Cleveland Indians, Washington Redskins and the like,” Bomberry said.

She noted there’s an online movement that includes use of the Twitter hashtag #NotYourMascot to change what she called degrading and derogatory team names and logos.

“I have read comments of some of the fans of those sports teams who say they are ‘honouring’ us with those images,” Bomberry said. “So I have to say unequivocally I do not feel honoured by those outdated, offensive team mascots and names, and think its time they be changed. And if we can draw attention to that by turning the tables using a bit of humour then why not?

Deejay NDN, who was born Ian Campeau, had earlier filed a complaint with the Ontario Human Rights Commission to protest the name of the Nepean Redskins football team, which he said was offensive to First Nations people. The team changed its name to Eagles after the complaint.

When The “I Couldn’t Hold It In” Excuse Doesn’t Fly : Modell Grave Pisser Pinched

Posted in Gridiron at 6:40 pm by

Days after the Baltimore Sun reported Baltimore County police were investigating a YouTube clip of a self-proclaimed Browns fan urinating on Art Modell’s grave site, an arrest has been announced in this case-of-the-century, as WJZ TV’s Rochelle Ritchie explains :

“I want to commend the Baltimore County Police Department for doing outstanding work in identifying the suspect involved in this case,” said Baltimore County State’s Attorney Scott D. Shellenberger in a statement. “Everyone who has buried a loved one has the right to believe that their final resting place will be treated with respect. Bringing charges against this individual should act as a deterrent to others and assure the rest of us that no matter who you are, indecencies will not be committed against your final resting place.”

In Maryland, Criminal Law Article 10-404(c) states: “a person may not engage in indecent or disorderly conduct in a cemetery.” This crime is a misdemeanor that carries a maximum sentence of two years in jail and a fine of $500.

Baltimore County police say the suspect is not yet in custody and it may take a few days to serve his arrest warrant since he is currently living in Ohio.

07.28.14

Suddenly, Being Associated With The Unification Church Doesn’t Seem So Bad

Posted in Gridiron, Sports Journalism at 11:35 pm by

On no fewer than a dozen occasions in CSTB’s rich history, I’ve referred to the Washington Times as a “Moonie Paper” due to the publication’s ties to Rev. Sun Myung Moon and the Unification Church. On Monday, the Times announced a new partnership with a person far less charismatic and admired than Moon ; they’re now “marketing and content partners” with Daniel Snyder’s Washington Redskins.

Under the partnership, the Redskins and the Times will collaborate on unique content offerings throughout the year designed to provide Redskins fans with compelling, timely and unique coverage.

The offerings will include a weekly “Redskins Weekend Game Guide,” which will wrap the front page of the Times’ print edition each Friday during the NFL season and a new free digital magazine called “The Redskins Report,” which will showcase exclusive content about the Redskins. Both features are expected to launch in August.

In addition, Times’ sports reporters, such as Thom Loverro and Zac Boyer, will provide commentary and analysis on selected Redskins‘ radio and TV shows and also appear on the team’s online pregame show and the halftime shows. The halftime show also appears on FedExField’s HD video boards during halftime.

 

WaPo’s Jenkins On Stephen A Smith : Shame About The Chairshots

Posted in "Wife Beater" Is Not A Fashion Statement, Gridiron, Sports TV at 6:28 pm by

As “First Take” co-mouthpiece Stephen A. Smith continues his attempts to clarify/retract comments from last week regarding the ways female assault victims might “provoke” such attacks, the Washington Post’s Sally Jenkins has had about enough, observing, “some guys can sound so dumb you’d think they had a chair broken over their head, but the first element of provocation a woman should avoid is calling them on it, whether it’s an NFL official justifying a two-game penalty for a running-back going all Flintstone on his wife, or an ESPN announcer who holds your cable subscription hostage while he tries to string two sentences together.”

The NFL seems to feel the same way as Stephen A. Smith, who said in 2012 when Chad Johnson got caught head-butting his wife, “There are plenty of instances where provocation comes into consideration, instigation comes into consideration, and I will be on the record right here on national television and say that I am sick and tired of men constantly being vilified.” Or as he tweeted when Floyd Mayweather was charged with domestic violence, “Let’s not discount the women out there who want someone like Mayweather strictly for the cash. Men ain’t wrong always.”

What you’re supposed to do for these Lords of the Loco is just put on pink rabbit ears and play nightclub hostess. Also, learn how to escape from a car trunk. Every woman should know how to get out of a car trunk, and if you don’t, it’s your own fault.

What Smith’s apology demonstrates is that half the time he doesn’t understand what he said any more than we do.

07.27.14

Without Phil Mushnick, Who’d Be Left To Speak Up For Decrepit White Male Billionaries?

Posted in Basketball, Racism Corner at 11:33 pm by

Other than Dino Costa, that is. NY Post sports media critic Phil Mushnick has already demonstrated he’s willing to take an unpopular stance when it comes to embattled Clippers owner Donald Sterling (above, right). Actually, he’s demonstrated as much multiple times.

On Sunday, Phil took exception to claims of Sterling suffering from dementia (a suggestion first floated by, uh, Phil Mushnick) having been “dismissed quickly and harshly as both a lousy excuse and an inadmissible defense.”

His bigoted conversation was spoken into the ear of his 30-year-old “girlfriend” — a glamorous, dubious character who changed her name from Maria Vanessa Perez to V. Stiviano. She enjoyed taking walks with Sterling, particularly into expensive shops where he would buy her “things.”

Although, while merrily appearing on national TV shows, she expressed her great fondness for Sterling, she was eager to destroy him by covertly recording that private chat, then passing along the ruinous recording until it reached the scandal-thirsty TV show “TMZ.”

That Sterling confused his relationship with this young woman with — good grief! — romance, tells a tale of a delusional old man, if not one afflicted, at 80, by dementia. But given the issue was immediately branded “racial,” there was nothing else to consider.

Doc Rivers, the Clippers’ coach, last week said he won’t coach the team if Sterling, via legal action, retains ownership of the team. How noble.

But would Rivers, any of his players, or any public figure spotlessly survive having his or her private conversations with intimates released to the public?

And why, if Sterling’s a full-blooded racist, would he own an NBA team, let alone hire a black coach? Why a Hispanic girlfriend — real or imagined?

Interesting question. I mean, if someone was a full-blooded racist, why would they own a plantation? Or more to the point, why would a non-racist have to pay nearly $3 million dollars to settle a housing discrimination suit? Why would a non-racist so gleefully show off his naked employees, inviting onlookers to gaze at “those beautiful black bodies”?

Still, Mushnick has a point with the girlfriend question. Sterling’s got a strong track record as the last of the true romantics.

So Much Violence In Albuquerque, Just Because Someone Ran Very Slowly

Posted in Baseball at 1:56 pm by

Above : footage of last night’s brawl between the PCL’s Reno Aces and host Albuquerque Isotopes. It seems the fracas was provoked by a purpose pitch thrown in the direction of ‘Topes SS Erisbel Arruebarrena, who celebrated his first Triple-A HR the prior night with a rather leisurely stroll around the bases (get your stopwatches ready) :

07.26.14

One Day They’re Spelling Your Name Wrong, The Next They’re Dumping You On The Mets

Posted in Baseball at 7:27 pm by

(pic courtesy MLB’s Thomas Harding)


Our sincere apologies to the fans for the misspelling of the Troy Tulowitzki King Soopers jersey that was distributed tonight.

Acknowledging that many fans came to the game for the jersey, rather than disappoint them, we decided to go ahead and hand them out.

We have made plans to reproduce the jersey and fans wishing to exchange will be able to do so at a future date (TBD) in September at Coors Field or the Rockies Dugout Stores. In addition, fans exchanging the jersey will receive a complimentary ticket to a future game in 2014 or 2015.

Colorado Rockies, Facebook

Sure, it’s an embarrassing gaffe. But at least the Rockies had the good sense to let someone other than Dick Montfort write the apology letter.

NYDN : Chris Russo Finally Found A Qualified Black Radio Host

Posted in Sports Radio at 7:07 pm by

A day after Stephen A. Smith earned the scorn of the national media and ESPN colleagues alike with his less than sage-advice for women, the New York Daily News’ Bob Raissman is reporting that Smith will soon bring his chat show talents to Sirius/XM’s “Mad Dog Radio”.  It took a whole ten months, but Chris Russo — he of the earlier suggestions there were no qualified black candidates — has finally found a host fully capable of filling Dino Costa’s shoes (ie. the shoes marked “likely to generate zero ratings or new subscriptions”).

Sources said there was no consideration of pairing SAS with Russo. Smith’s new show will probably air from 1 p.m.-3 p.m., which will put him in direct competition with Ryan Ruocco on ESPN 98.7. Smith would serve as a lead-in to Russo’s “Mad Dog Unleashed” soiree and force SXM to juggle its current “MDR” lineup.

On one level, Smith’s apparent decision to move to SXM is surprising. It was only two weeks ago when Smith, on the air, suggested his radio days were numbered. “Ryan Ruocco can have the show,” SAS said at the time. “I have enough on my plate (with TV opportunities)

07.25.14

Just Wondering : Is “Making Men Hard” Part Of Craig Sager Or Ken Rosenthal’s Job Descriptions?

Posted in "Wife Beater" Is Not A Fashion Statement, Blogged Down, Gridiron, Sports TV at 8:11 pm by

(above : Mets exec, background, demonstrates how eye candy, foreground, got his job)

In the wake of the NFL deciding to go rather easy on Ravens RB Ray Rice, he of the widely circulated video clip in which he’s physically assaulting his fiancee, ESPN’s Samantha Ponder took to Twitter with the following observation ; “blogs/websites that constantly disrespect women & objectify their bodies, then take a strong stand on the Ray Rice issue really confuse me.”

As you might’ve expected, such sentiments didn’t garner a very thoughtful reaction from much of the interweb, especially from a blog/website that constantly disrespects women & objectifies their bodies.  Cue up Barstool Sports’ feitelberg :

The woman who was hired to stand on the sidelines, because she’s attractive, and report a stone’s throw away from girls who were hired to dance in their underwear, because they’re attractive, is against blogs saying women are attractive.

Please tell me you’re not this dumb. Seriously you sound like a KO Barstool freak, not a chick that has a job where  the #1 requirement is you make men hard. So give it a rest with your righteous indignation. Your entire career and livelihood is based on appealing to guys like me and blogs like ours. Bottomline is guys thinking chicks are hot is natural. It’s Darwinism.

Just so we’re totally clear on this, regardless of what you think of Ms. Ponder’s journalistic credentials, please keep in mind that because some dude who can barely string a sentence together considers her nothing more than a jizz target, that precludes her from having any valid opinions on serious subjects whatsoever.

“Hey Sam you really can’t see the difference between saying a chick is hot and beating the fuck out of a woman?”, asks the scribe in question, though I strongly suspect Ponder is very capable of seeing the difference. And at the risk of (ahem) MANSPLAINING (for feitelburg), I don’t think her point is nearly so out to lunch. At the same time male commentators are drawing paychecks for actually suggesting Janay Palmer would be well served by learning not to provoke men into violence, why be mystified at Ponder’s inference that the straight dude culture (as typified by, say, a blog that publishes comments like, “add Sam Ponder to the list of dumb cunts”) can’t have it both ways. There’s totally a disconnect between relegating women to non-person status and then acting as though Roger Goodell’s slap on the wrist to Rice isn’t consistent with that culture.

Anyway, happy to totally spell it out for you. Now, time to watch lots and lots of DVR’d footage of Kevin Burkhardt!

07.24.14

Chuck Knoblauch Continues To Mistake The Women In His Life For Punching Bags

Posted in "Wife Beater" Is Not A Fashion Statement, Baseball, The Law at 4:33 pm by

Though he’ll probably not challenge Ray Rice for the day’s top story, former Twins/Yankees 2B Chuck Knoblauch has for the second time in 4 years, been charged with domestic violence, this time the assault of ex-wife, Cheri, in the Bunker Hill section of Houston, TX. From KHOU.com :

Cheri, 37, told police she was napping with her child when Knoblauch barged into the child’s bedroom and began yelling at her. She said he bashed her head into the wall, hit her in the face and threw a humidifier at her.

Chuck Knoblauch’s sister, who was staying in the home, said she heard Cheri screaming and saw her brother chasing Cheri through the house. She told officers she witnessed Chuck hitting Cheri repeatedly in the chest and arm. The two women and child fled the house and called police from Knoblauch’s sister’s house.

Memorial Villages police officers arrested Knoblauch and said he appeared “extremely intoxicated.” He was released after posting a $10,000 bond.

Knoblauch was elected to the Twins Hall of Fame earlier this year. The induction ceremony was canceled Thursday after the Twins learned of the allegations against him, according to Yahoo Sports.

Another Important Message From The Entertainment Division Of Cumbucket Media : New Albums From Jonly Bonly & The Gotobeds

Posted in 12XU, Internal Affairs, record collector disease at 1:16 pm by

1 BEST copy

For the degenerate minority of us who buy records and obsess over ‘em, The Gotobeds first came to our attention when word began to spread that Kim Phuc guitarist Eli Kasan and drummer-turned-guitarist Tom Payne had a new band. That powerhouse pedigree certainly didn’t hurt, but non-residents of Blitzburgh were in for a slight headfuck upon hearing The Gotobeds’ debut 7”, “Ipso Facto (It’s All Happening)” (Mind Cure) in the Fall of 2013. Teamed with bassist Gavin Jensen and drummer Cary Belbeck, the quartet’s chaotic take on smart-dude avant punk could’ve passed for one of the best singles of 1979, ’89, ’99, really, any year that ended in a 9. 1859. 2019.

A subsequent 45 for Mind Cure, spring 2014’s “New York’s Alright (If You Like Sex & Phones)” upped the ante considerably ; though one publication called it Lee Ving-baiting, ’twas a Parquet Courts LP that was smashed into tiny pieces in the song’s widely seen music video. Lest anyone believes this was manufactured attempt at creating a feud, the simple fact of the matter is that hardly anyone is willing to talk about the consequences of poor LP handling. You call it a promotional clip, I call it a PSA —- can’t we simply agree the song was amazing?

Gotobeds_iTunes

After some OTT blog hyperventilating and an action-packed trip to SXSW and back, we can fast forward to ‘Poor People Are Revolting’, as confident and filler-free a debut rock album as you’re gonna hear in these sad, otherwise sloppy times.
________________________________________________________________________________________

JonlyBonly_1320 copy

(photo by Ali Copeland)

Through Jason Smith’s tenures in the OBN III’s and playing alongside Orville Neeley and The Flesh Lights’ Max Vandever in the modestly-named The Best, Jason long ago established himself as a rock/pop/punk/whatever virtuoso, a devastatingly great soloist, yet a wildly inventive rhythm player with a razor-like focus on service-to-the-song. In late 2012, Neeley left town for an extended stint with Bad Sports and Smith found himself with no gigs or rehearsals to soak up time otherwise spent giving dancing clinics.

And with that, Jonly Bonly was formed. Smith spent that winter break composing a pile of new power pop classics that guitar prowess aside, bore little resemblance to his work alongside Andrew Cashen in OBN III’s ; Austin gigs throughout 2013 & ’14 with the crack rhythm section of bassist Stephen Svacina (Sweet Talk, Uptown Bums) and drummer Marley Jones (OBN III’s, ex-Sweet Talk) unveiled a ridiculously talented trio far too dynamic to be relegated to side-project status.

??Put Together, recorded during this year and last with the assistance of Neeley —- in addition to sessions at Denton, TX’s Cool Devices with Mark Ryan and Jeff Burke (Marked Men, Radioactivity) has all the wit and swagger anybody who’s watched Smith in action has come to expect. And if you’re wondering, that he’s not even close to peaking is not an acceptable excuse for sleeping on this audacious debut album.

Preorder both albums here.

07.23.14

Dino Costa’s Curious Approach To Booking Guests (And/Or “Godless Fucks”)

Posted in Dino Costa, Religion, Sports Radio at 11:59 pm by

On Wednesday, Sports On Earth’s Tomas Rios took a long look at Tony Dungy’s recent comments that he’d have avoided the ticking-time-bomb that is Michael Sam being-his-gay-self in an NFL locker room in a piece entitled “The Respectable Bigot”. Dungy, who apparently considers Sam to be a far greater threat to team morale than say, convicted felon/dog murderer Michael Vick, “believes gay people don’t deserve equal rights, which makes him a bigot by definition,” in Rios’ view, adding, “people who intertwine their biases with their religion are usually intractable.” All of which leads us to the following series of correspondence between Rios and former Sirius/XM host turned subscription-podcaster Dino Costa.

Costa, who recently announced plans to move his program and family back to the New York area some two years after essentially channeling John Rocker in telling the region to fuck off, seems to have a hard time with someone passing up the opportunity to be sandbagged interviewed on his fledgling program :

The El Paso Chihuahuas’ Relentess Torment Of Jeff Francoeur Has Finally Come To An End

Posted in Baseball at 5:03 pm by

With San Diego promoting OF/P Jeff Francoeur this week, his former teammates in El Paso (PCL) might not have further opportunities to FUCK WITH HIM.  And as someone one who watched Smiling Jeff do-his-thing (and do it very badly) for the New York Mets, this strikes me as greatly disappointing.

07.22.14

I’LL HAVE WHAT ESTIMATE’S HAVING

Posted in Horse Racing at 11:47 pm by

(Editor’s Note : On handful of occasions over the years, beloved equine entertainer Mr. Ed has taken to CSTB to offer his innermost thoughts on the sport of kings.  Upon learning earlier today that a racehorse owned by Queen Elizabeth II had tested positive for morphine, Ed graciously forwarded the following excerpt from an item penned by the Guardian’s Tom Paley – GC)

Estimate (above, right), a five-year-old mare trained by Sir Michael Stoute, came second in the same race this year, and is one of five horses understood to have recorded a positive test for the banned substance. The palace said they believed the morphine had come via consumption of a contaminated feed product.

John Warren, the Queen’s bloodstock and racing adviser, said: “On Thursday 17 July the British Horseracing Authority announced that a number of post-race samples, obtained from recent race meetings, had been found to indicate the presence of morphine, which is a prohibited substance on race days. Five horses, under the care of various trainers, were affected.

“I can confirm that one of those horses was Estimate, the five-year-old mare trained by Sir Michael Stoute and owned by the Queen. Initial indications are that the positive test resulted from the consumption of a contaminated feed product. Sir Michael is working closely with the feed company involved to discover how the product may have become contaminated prior to delivery to his stables.”

Nash To Big Sexy : A Little Less Xenophobia, Thanks

Posted in Basketball, Sports TV, We Aren't The World at 6:59 pm by

Monday night, ESPN’s Jason Whitlock told colleague Keith Olbermann on the latter’s eponymous chat show that “Canadian athletes, I think, among NBA players and NBA people, perhaps don’t want it as much as even some of the Europeans, and certainly the American players.” Though Whitlock was speculating about the Cavs’ no. 1 overall pick Andrew Wiggins, a pair of Canadians took rightful offense, including the country’s most decorated player. From the Canadian Press’ Dhiren Mahiban :


“It’s a wonderful sweeping generalization, really good. Hit it on the head there,” two-time NBA MVP Steve Nash said.

“I had to prove that I was athletic enough to play in the NBA,” said the Los Angeles Lakers point guard. “His (Wiggins’) athleticism isn’t a question, they’re worrying about his motivation and desire.

“Steve’s pretty tough to play and be able to do what he’s doing,” Triano said. “I think Tristan (Thompson) is a tough player. Robert Sacre is a tough player. Maybe we’ll go on this trip and drop the gloves a little bit and create that hockey mentality then we’ll define ourselves a little bit better.”

07.21.14

OKC : Seattle’s Championship Is Irrelevant

Posted in Basketball, The Marketplace at 11:51 pm by

(l-r : Lenny Wilkins, Downtown Freddie Brown, celebrating a moment the Thunder would prefer to ignore)

Starting next season, the NBA and licensee Adidas will affix a small gold Larry O’Brien Trophies on back jersey collars indicating how many championships a franchise has won.  In the case of the former Seattle Supersonics, the Oklahoma City Thunder would prefer to disregard a 1979 title, as The Oklahoman’s Cody Stavenhagen explains :

“As of right now, they are not wearing it,” NBA vice president of outfitting Christopher Arena said. “They actually would have had to have told us that some time ago, and that was their choice. We have several teams who have a lineage that exists prior to the city that they’re in …Some teams embrace that past, some teams don’t. Whether it’s because of ownership changes or perhaps the lineage is too great of a distance or the team nickname changed or whatever it may be, that’s their decision.”

Oklahoman reader Jonathan Moy comments, “Seattle has done nothing but throw hate towards OKC and the Thunder. Why in the world would OKC even consider acknowledging Seattle on the jersey? This was a good decision.” Yes, why can’t Seattle’s basketball fans learn to accept being fucked out of their basketball team and cultural history? What Seattle resident doesn’t watch Kevin Durant’s exploits and say to themselves, “so we’re denied a chance to host this otherworldly talent — at least he’s making Clay Bennett even wealthier.”

07.20.14

The Ricketts Family Cannot Bear The Actions Of A Rogue Mascot

Posted in Baseball, When Mascots Are Attacked, When Mascots Attack at 11:31 pm by

(above : anonymous schlub on the left, being shaken down for money by the unsavory character on the right)

Last summer, the Chicago Cubs’ objections to John Paul Weir’s unofficial Billy Cub enterprise were mentioned in this space, but on Friday, those gripes were elevated to a formal lawsuit filed in U.S. district court, as described below by the Chicago Tribune :

The team said John Paul Weier and Patrick Weier show up for games garbed in their “Billy Cub” outfits, including Cubs caps and jerseys, offering to have pictures and videos taken with fans.

But unlike the team’s real mascot, Clark the Cub, the two impostors “seek to hustle those same fans for ‘fees’ or ‘tips,’” the complaint said, adding that they deliberately try to create the impression they are officially associated with the team.

It said the men’s behavior was damaging to the goodwill of the Cubs and misleading to fans, some of whom complained to the team about the characters’ “inappropriate and unsavory” actions.

The lawsuit said the pair’s misconduct escalated to violence in April when Patrick Weier punched a man who had removed the head of Weier’s costume during a scuffle at a bar near Wrigley Field.

A Long, But Perhaps Incomplete List Of Acts Colby Lewis Might Find Selfish

Posted in Baseball at 11:16 pm by

Rangers SP Colby Lewis threw a highly publicized shit-fit after allowing a bunt single to the Blue Jays’ Colby Rasmus Saturday with the Toronto leading 2-0 and 2 out in the home 5th. Rasmus, who successfully avoided hitting into the shift, was probably as surprised as anyone to read Lewis’ remarks afterwards, suggesting that his opponent was purely motivated by personal gain (“I felt like you have a situation where there is two outs, you’re up two runs, you have gotten a hit earlier in the game off me, we are playing the shift, and he laid down a bunt basically simply for average,”). Lewis also suggested that if Rasmus wasn’t a selfish player, he’d have attempted to steal and get into scoring position.

Because Mr. Lewis is clearly overworked (it cannot be easy pitching for Texas and managing Toronto simultaneously — he’s obviously struggling with the former task), I have taken the liberty of making list of other things he’s likely to consider violations of baseball etiquette. Sporting a 6.73 ERA, I strongly believe the only thing stopping Colby Lewis from lecturing others on how to play the game the right way is time management.

1) Hit a solo HR in any situation besides game-tying or ending.
2) Drawing a walk when the bases aren’t loaded (or anytime your team is more than one run ahead)
3) Accepting an intentional pass without swinging at one of the outside pitches (are you some kind of pussy?)
4) Swinging during an intentional pass — is it really all about you?
5) Running out an infield grounder or pop up.
6) Wearing batting gloves.
7) Choking up.
8  Reach base on an error. What sort of gutless punk takes advantage of others’ simple mistakes?
9) Fouling off pitches with two strikes. ENOUGH ALREADY.
10) Looking at Colby Lewis when you’re in the on deck circle. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?