Bartman : Thanks, But I’d Rather Not Be Murdered In Public

Posted in Baseball at 2:23 pm by

Following a dubious crowd-funding campaign designed to coax Steve Bartman into attending the Cubs’ NL Wild Card game against the Pirates this week, the convenient scapegoat for a 2003 NLCS collapse has announced he’ll continue to, y’know, live in hiding.  From The Score.com :

With the Cubs set to face the Pittsburgh Pirates, Keque Escobedo started a GoFundMe campaign to “make up for” the troubles Cubs fans have caused Bartman and send him to the game.

“It’s nice of these people to think of Steve but he won’t be taking advantage of the offer,” Bartman’s longtime spokesman Frank Murtha told ESPN. “He’s perfectly capable of attending the game on his own, though he has no intention of being at the wild-card game.”

The good news is, (some) Cubs fans have apparently forgiven Steve Bartman. The bad news : if he turns up at a major sporting event, someone might mistake him for Jared From Subway. It’s also nice to know that despite being best known for destroying the hopes and dreams of Cubs fans, Bartman can afford a longtime spokesman. Might I suggest the money raised for his tickets & airfare to Pittsburgh instead be applied to barring Jim Bruer from Citi Field or SNY telecasts, perhaps with deadly foce?


The Shy Bladder Of Jeremy Affeldt

Posted in Baseball at 11:49 pm by

Of his relationship with A-Higher-Power, Giants reliever Jeremy Affeldt writes, “God is for us. He’s for me. There’s this aroma that I have to remember.” Speaking of something that really stinks, Affeldt, retiring after this weekend’s final games, weighed in at Sports Illustrated’s Cauldron, selecting “5 Things I Won’t Miss About Baseball”. In addition to excessive showboating (“when you flash self-congratulatory signs after a meaningless first-inning single—or, even worse, a walk—you’re clowning yourself and not representing your club or your teammates very well”), Philly fans, Wrigley Field (“the player facilities are an abomination”) and the hassles of travel, Affeldt is really, really fed up with peeing in a cup.

It’s fantastic that the game has since been cleaned up, of course, but the situation never should have been allowed to get so out of control. In fact, because of the years of negative coverage and bad publicity, in today’s environment—despite MLB’s apparent confusion about the meaning of the word “random” when it comes to testing—any hitter or pitcher who excels becomes a suspect. And that makes them subject to more frequent testing. I get that the powers that be view this is a necessarily evil, but the practice also has real consequences.

For example, spending a weekend playing at altitude in Colorado leaves players dehydrated, so when MLB’s testing officials show up at 11:30 p.m. after the Sunday night game has ended, it’s literally impossible to provide them with the mandated urine sample. When ya’ gotta go, ya’ gotta go, but when you can’t … you can’t. That forces the player to stay in the bathroom, being watched like a hawk, for as long as it takes to do his business. There is no dignity in that, but remember: per the Collective Bargaining Agreement, failure to take the test is the same thing as failing the test.

Thankfully, the next time I pee in a cup, it will be for my MLB pension physical two decades from now.

Judge : Kruk Kruelty Not Nearly Defamatory

Posted in Baseball, Sports TV, The Law at 11:28 pm by

An $10 million defamation lawsuit by a sleepy Yankee fan against ESPN’s Dan Shulman and John Kruk was tossed by Bronx Supreme Court Justice Julia Rodriguez yesterday, not the first time Sir Kruk has fallen somewhat sort of Sir Oscar Wilde. From the New York Post’s Laura Italiano :

“The announcer’s comments lasted barely longer than a minute, and did not rise to the level of defamation, which requires “extreme and outrageous conduct [which] intentionally or recklessly causes severe emotional distress to another,” wrote the judge, Bronx Supreme Court Justice Julia Rodriguez.

Rector had further argued in his lawsuit that Major League Baseball “set the stage” for others to mock and defame him by posting the clip of his napping online, allowing commenters to have a field day. But MLB made no defamatory statements directly, Rodriguez ruled in dismissing the suit.

“Clearly, nothing shown or said which can be attributed to any of the defendants during the Telecast, on MLB.com or on YouTube concerning the Plaintiff rises to the level of an act of extreme and outrageous conduct,” she wrote.


Children’s Letters To CSTB : Bonkers From Yonkers’ Remaining Fan Has A Question

Posted in Dino Costa at 1:55 pm by


First, I want to congratulate you on having a successful blog. Second, I came across your blog while searching for Dino Costa. I’m actually a fan of Dino. I don’t agree with everything he says but he is entertaining. I do enjoy reading your pieces about him. Though, I do have a question. Who is the guy in pictures that you post in the pieces that you wrote about Dino?

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that Dino Costa will be restarting his digital radio enterprise. If you want to learn more, go to www.dinocostaradionetwork.com.

Thank you,

I certainly hope you’re not suggesting Dino’s not nearly that good looking.

Actually, I just wanted to know who that guy is in those pictures. Is he from a TV show or something?


I do believe Dino’s made a few TV appearances — Red Eye, I believe?

Yes, I’m aware of what Dino looks like. You’re misunderstanding what I’m saying. There’s a picture of a guy that you post in some of those blog pieces about Dino that is not Dino. In one of the pics, he looks like a waiter. Who is that guy? Is he from a TV show or movie?


No, actually I’m not misunderstanding a fucking thing. My name is Mr. Running A Successful Blog, not Mr. Reverse Google Image Search Disguised As A Schmuck Dying To Spell Shit Out To You. You continue to insist the gentleman above can’t possible be Dino Costa. Why? Does he somehow look like a person who is particularly reasonable, solvent, pleasant and/or not-at-all-racist? YOU TELL ME.

Coming To A Future Episode Of “Bar Euthanasia” : Austin’s Chad Goldwasser

Posted in Austin, The Marketplace at 1:39 pm by

Chad Goldwasser, owner of downtown Austin’s opening-soon monument to douchebaggery, Teller’s, was interviewed by the Chronicle’s Kevin Curtin, and the former credits his “massively powerful positive energy and an incredible fuckin’ attitude” for his ascent in the fields of real estate and motivational speaking. If you’re wondering how that skill set might translate to world of live music entertainment, well, I have no idea whatsoever. But if this clip is anything to go, the city’s newest impresario seems to be a totally stable, centered individual who should never be compared to a TICKING TIME BOMB.


Hayhurst On Papelbon vs. Harper : A Dick Measuring Contest Gone Awry

Posted in Baseball at 11:27 pm by

(Papelbon blames the paucity of autograph requests on how frequently he’s mistaken for The Miz)

A day after one newspaper columnist posed the (serious) question to his readers, “Should Jonathan Papelbon Have Choked Bryce Harper?”, former Jays reliever turned broadcaster/journalist Dirk Hayhurst, author of “The Bullpen Gospels : A Non-Prospect’s Pursuit of the Major Leagues and the Meaning of Life”, took to Vice Sports to call the spat, “the logical conclusion of the testosterone-driven, dick-measuring culture that is the basis for nearly every unwritten rule the sport has ever concocted.”

There is a camp that believes this fight stems from the fact that Harper is a young, flashy, emotionally demonstrative prick who doesn’t always hustle, can be whiny, and has been known to say brash stuff, like, “That’s a clown question, bro.” The only reason he hasn’t gotten his comeuppance, in this reading, is because he’s played well enough to avoid it.

Enter Papelbon; the perfect trigger-happy lunatic for the job of teaching superstars, home and away, lessons on proper baseball behavior. This is a guy who is deranged enough to drill Orioles star, Manny Machado, and then say “Perception is reality. If Manny thinks I hit him, that’s what he thinks.”

While baseball’s social norms are about as clear as mud, one thing is crystal: baseball is full of fragile narcissists who justify a great deal of their behavior by citing sources that don’t exist. They rationalize their foolish behavior as customary or, worse, crucial to the development of a younger generation. The system that makes Jonathan Papelbon a narcissistic borderline fascist is the same system that encourages Bryce Harper to be a narcissistic egomaniac.

Hip Hop Will Survive The Cards’ Red Schoendienst Tribute. Barely.

Posted in Baseball at 6:47 pm by

Personally allegiances aside, I’m tempted to call the 1986 cash-in single/video “Let’s Go Mets” (heavy on the Piscopo and Trump cameos) one of the worst baseball-themed recordings ever sanctioned by an MLB club. Until today, however.

I know, like I was expecting Mike Matheny miming to “Wonderful Subdivision” or something.



Posted in record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 8:00 pm by

Every year in the aftermath of Gonerfest it is customary for many attendees to take to F-book to hail the event’s awesomeness and pay tribute to the hosting/booking/crowd control efforts of Eric, Zac, Madison and others, often declaring the long weekend, “the greatest thing ever” or “I never wanted it to end” or some such hyperbole.

I’m very tempted to write something similar and detail several of the highlights, but maybe this a moment better spent on careful reflection. Was it really the most crucial life-experience imaginable? I’ve never been to a sweat lodge (though I’ve seen multiple bands with that name across different decades). I’ve never attended (or participated in) a mass Moonie wedding. I’ve never gone big game hunting with Minneapolis dentists across the Sudan, nor have I tried to re-create the Ice T star vehicle, “Surviving The Game” with other jaded, wealthy persons looking to satisfy their bloodlust (preferably with someone less wily & cunning as Ice T as the target). Haven’t tried cannibalism (though I did read “Alive : The Story Of The Andes Survivors” in elementary school and though, y’know, the author MADE A MEAL OF IT).
Still haven’t made it to Bonnaroo (which sounds scarier than the Andes cannibalism book), still haven’t made it to either of the Dakotas.

I guess what I’m trying to say is fuck bucket lists, fuck buckets (or to paraphrase David Sedaris, fuck fuck it buckets). Gonna go way out on a limb here and say MUSK were way better than 10 mass Moonie weddings.

Nats : We’ll Live Without Papelbon’s Charm, Leadership For The Final Seven Games

Posted in Baseball at 12:51 pm by

But wait, didn’t Matt Williams argue yesterday that Jonathan Papelbon is Washington’s closer? Who’s gonna close out those all-important final seven games? How can the bullpen be fully mismanaged if Williams is denied the opportunity to not use Papelbon in key spots?


Celebrate The Mets’ Division Crown With A Garment That Can’t Possibly Go Out Of Style

Posted in Baseball at 11:46 pm by

For Matt Williams not to immediately remove Papelbon from the game defies logic. Papelbon went after the best player in the game, Harper, the 22-year-old superstar whose emergence has been by far the best thing that has happened to the Nationals this season. And Papelbon got away with it.

If the Nationals want to show real leadership — and support for Harper, their franchise player — they should suspend Papelbon for the rest of the season and fire Williams.

General Manager Mike Rizzo was not available to reporters after the game, but Williams seemed oblivious to the issues. Asked why he allowed Papelbon to keep pitching after the fight, Williams said, “He’s our closer.”

Right. He is. And he just attacked your best player.Tyler Kepner, NY Times, September 27, 2015

Matt Wiliams will undoubtedly lose his job soon, but anyone who can avoid sharing oxygen with Papelbon can call himself a winner in life.


Not Even Close To A CSTB Greatest Hit : Remembering The Last Time Randy Niemann Dousing Frank Cashen With Champagne Was Referenced

Posted in Baseball, History's Not Happening at 9:57 pm by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : on the occasion of the New York Mets clinching their first Division title since 2006, let’s take a look back to a far less exciting event a little more than 5 years ago. Bad enough I have to bring up the Randy Niemann thing again, but can you believe I’m remembering K-Rod on today of all days? From May 25, 2010, “Randy Niemann’s Finally Managed To Enrage Someone More Powerful Than Frank Cashen” – GC)

Lovers of Mets history will recall then-GM Frank Cashen declaring, “those who contribute the least spray the most champagne” after being doused by reliever Randy Niemann in the celebratory wake of the Amazins’ marathon victory in Game 6 of the 1986 NLCS. Remarkably, bullpen coach Niemann found himself in the middle of a far more relevant firestorm Sunday evening, allegedly participating in a shoving match with closer Francisco Rodriguez in the bullpen prior to the 9th inning conclusion against the Yankees. From the New York Times’ David Waldstein :

Afterward, Rodriguez said the tussle in the bullpen was just an instance of Mets relievers engaging in some roughhousing.

“We were just fooling around, he said. “We were just kidding with each other.”

But two people in the Mets organization confirmed that the confrontation between Rodriguez and Niemann was indeed a heated one and might have escalated if other pitchers had not intervened. A third member of the organization said that Rodriguez and Niemann met after the game and apparently patched things up.

At the heart of Sunday night’s incident is the Mets’ heavy reliance on Rodriguez to bail them out of one dangerous situation after another. With his own job on the line, Jerry Manuel has felt pressure to win every game he possibly can, even it means stretching Rodriguez’s normal limitations. He has had Rodriguez warm up more than once in the same game in case he is needed before the ninth inning; he has had Rodriguez come into the games where the Mets are still comfortably ahead.

On the night of the confrontation between John Maine and Manuel, for example, Rodriguez was summoned to pitch the ninth inning even though the Mets had a 10-6 lead and it was a nonsave situation. But just as in the 20-inning game against St. Louis in April, when Rodriguez warmed up 10 times before finally entering in the 19th inning, the Mets, and particularly Manuel, were in desperate need of a victory.


The Former Fat Elvis : Protecting Houston’s Toilets Since The Autumn of 2015

Posted in Are You A Boy Or Are You A Girl?, Baseball at 8:12 pm by

I think I liked Lance Berkman better when he was risking his baseball career playing flag football. Proving his judgement has yet to improve in retirement, Berkman has recorded an advertisement for a group opposing Houston’s Equal Rights Ordinance, as reported by Outsports’ Cyd Ziegler :

Berkman uses a popular smokescreen – the idea of boys suddenly showering with girls in the locker room – to attack the equal-rights law. As gay people and same-sex couples have found increasing acceptance, that has become a popular method of division for the anti-LGBT forces in Houston, to go after trans youth as some kind of sexual predators.

“No men in women’s bathrooms, no boys in girls’ showers or locker rooms,” Berkman says in a new radio ad. “I played professional baseball for 15 years, but my family is more important. My wife and I have four daughters. Proposition 1, the bathroom ordinance, would allow troubled men to enter women’s public bathrooms, showers and locker rooms. This would violate their privacy and put them in harm’s way.”

Ironically, Berkman failed to flex his activist muscles back when fans using the toilets at his former workplace risked encountering heterosexuals fucking.

A Cowboy Joe West / Madison Bumgarner Pissing Match…

Posted in Baseball at 3:45 pm by

…with no pissing whatsoever!
Just staring! It’s not a pissing match in the slightest! If there’s any urination going on, they both waited until the end of the inning.

Still, West has proved his point. If you try to show up the veteran ump, be prepared to get stared at for an incredibly awkward period of time.


An Important Press Release From The Entertainment Arm Of Cumbucket Media

Posted in Internal Affairs, The Marketplace at 5:31 pm by


September 24, 2015

Turing Pharmaceuticals CEO Martin Shkreli announced his investment and partial accquistion of Austin, TX independent recording company 12XU earlier today in a hastily assembled news conference.

Shkreli, who recently parted ways from independent/ingrate imprint Collect, confirmed an infusion of cash in the low 7 figures, a sum he promises comes with “no strings attached”.

“I’m just trying to give something back to artists,” Shkreli explained, while describing his initial meeting with 12XU founder/owner Gerard Cosloy as something akin to “being reunited with a twin that’s been seperated at birth”.

Cosloy, who professed to little knowledge of Shkreli’s business dealings, told reporters, “he seems like a cool guy. I’m told he owns Shannon Hoon’s skeleton.”

When informed Shkreli had generated major controversy over a plan to raise the price of a toxoplasmosis drug some 5000% percent, Cosloy replied, “is that a real illness or something you just made up to look smart? It’s an honest question, I don’t know anyone who has it, so how bad could it really be?”

“I’ve always wondered what it would like to be involved with a real label with substantial backing,” explained Cosloy, who described himself as a professional dog walker.

12XU artists including OBN III’s, Xetas, Sweet Talk, Flesh Lights and Unholy Two were not made available for questioning because they’re terribly busy being artists, having loads of freedom and being supported by wonderful benefactors like Martin Shkreli.

12XU’s next new release, the first solo album in 13 years from Don Howland, ‘Life Is A Nightmare’, comes out October 16, and has a list price of $79,950.00 (USD)

Former Red Sox Statistician / Zoologist : PED Users Are Unfairly Stigmatized

Posted in Baseball, Going To The Zoo at 5:07 pm by

Of the (nearly) universally despised Alex Rodriguez and Barry Bonds, Mike Gimbel opines the duo, “were subject to intense scrutiny and public ridicule and still managed to perform at Hall-of-Fame levels while obviously ‘clean’”. The author is no stranger to public ridicule, his brief tenure as Dan Duquette’s stat guru for the Red Sox typified by somewhat unsophisticated coverage of his wild animal collection (in a Williamsburg apartment, no less). From Worker’s World.com (link culled from Baseball Think Factory)

the years when A-Rod admitted to use of steroids in Texas were years of a downward production for him, not improved performance. PED [performance-enhancing drugs] is a Madison Avenue word, not a scientific word. There is no definition for PED.

Things have gotten so ridiculous that actual PEDs, as advertised on TV by jocks, are completely accepted. The “Five-Hour Energy” drinks openly claim that they improve an athlete’s performance! This type of stimulant has been around for at least a century and was used (think “greenies” [amphetamines]) by MLB players through all that time.

Let’s honor Barry Bonds as the second best hitter in MLB history and Roger Clemens as the greatest pitcher in MLB history. And while we are at it, let’s demand that A-Rod be elected to the Hall of Fame when his name comes up for that vote, and let’s not forget the others who suffered in this massive witch hunt, such as Mark McGwire [who hit 70 home runs in 1998. Bonds hit 73 in 2001]. They deserve our admiration for their accomplishments on the field, not our condemnation!


Walker On The Saints Doc : “A Dog’s Breakfast”

Posted in Recommended Reading, record collector disease at 8:05 pm by

STRANDED – TRAILER from Wildbear on Vimeo.

So it’s just our luck that as soon as a music documentary is produced that doesn’t feature the commentary of David Grohl or Henry Rollins, it turns out to be kinda crummy, anyway. Australia’s ABC debuted The Saints doc “Stranded” last week, and in the view of critic/author Clinton Walker, “it is a dog’s breakfast that manages to pull off the difficult feat of taking great material and making a meal of it, or worse still, missing the point altogether.”

The film that’s resulted is a wasted opportunity that to name just its most major failing spends large swathes of time on the generic treatment of a story everybody already knows anyway (the rise of punk in London and New York; it’s as if these film-makers have just found out about it!) at the expense of the unique story under its nose, which it’s still misleadingly pushing as its selling-point (the promo under that banner was accompanied by a photo of Bob Geldof!); it just serves as yet another unwanted extension of the old Australian cultural cringe, whereby we’re nothing without approval from overseas. And the film is full of stock library music! You’ve got to be kidding!! The list of crimes could go on… oh alright, I’ll name them: tons of irrelevant footage from 50s American horror films (doubtless because it’s free); factual errors all over the place; a complete lack of continuity and even then no dramatic dynamics; an overabundant voiceover so cliched it’s worthy of Paul Clark; minor characters getting major airtime (even more egregious when I could ask: Where’s Jim Dickson? Where’s Warwick Vere? Where’s Brad Shepherd? Where’s Mark Halstead?)

A Considerable Boo Boo For The A.P.

Posted in non-sporting journalism at 4:55 pm by

On the bright side, at least the Associated Press is having a better Wednesday than Chicago’s WGN.


Wade Sneaker Designer : Where’s My Plane Tickets?

Posted in Basketball, Fashion, The Marketplace at 11:42 pm by

The designer of Chinese #makeyourownwow champion give us the first look of American champion. #Dwade #wayofwade #lining #wayofwade3 #dwyanewade #wade #wadecounty #wadewednesdays #makeyourownway #adidas #Nike #wayofwadechina #dope #kicks #wow #nba #miamiheat #sneaker #solecollector #sneakercollector #sneakerhead #sole #sneakernews #wow #makeyourownwow #sneakerporn @dwyanewade @liningusa @team_wow @jr_lyon

A photo posted by @wayofwadechina on

Chinese sneaker manufacture Li-Ning marked their recent endorsement deal with Heat G Dwyane Wade with a contest to design Wade’s signature shoes. Months later, it seems the contest winner, a Danish student named Thor Bjoern, has heard little about a promised trip to Miami, or the status of his handiwork. From Sole Collector’s Brandon Richard :

According to the winning designer, the e-mail confirming his win marked the last time he had any contact with the company. Since then, he’s sent numerous e-mails and messages through Twitter to no avail. In fact, @LiNingUSA hasn’t tweeted anything at all since July.

To further complicate matters, Thor’s design may have already been produced without his knowledge. What appears to be a Li-Ning Wade Instagram fan page posted a similar make-up, adding that it was a first look at the shoe made by Make Your Own WOW’s “American Champion.”


A Poorly Disguised Excuse To Post The Following Song…

Posted in Baseball, Pissing Problems at 9:16 pm by

…or the long-awaited re-employment of CSTB’s nearly dormant Pissing Problems category. Whatever works for you.


Mets Shall No Longer Suggest Larry Bowa Has The Hots For Bob McClure

Posted in Baseball, Mob Behavior at 5:16 pm by

Hey, it’s all fun and games…until the kissing gets real. Nice move by the Mets, who are doing everything possible to distract from the goddamn postseason ticketing situation.


Miami’s Dee Gordon Needs A New Valet

Posted in Baseball, Fashion at 9:46 pm by

Despite having outscored the Mets 15-3 over the last two games while taking two of three at Citi Field, the Marlins are charged with aiding and abetting the fashion crimes of 2B Dee Gordon as shown below :

That Gordon is in the middle of an exceptional season for a team with nothing to play for is only slightly mitigating. You cannot take the field with that sort of pants/socks/shoes combination unless you’re some sort of anarchist (and if you are some sort of anarchist, you ought to be emptying Jeffrey Loria’s bank accounts rather than blinding innocent baseball fans).

Hanging Offense : $200 To Bask In Sevendust’s Mediocrity

Posted in Rock Und Roll, The Marketplace at 5:24 pm by

This is right up there with a Blues Saraceno Meet & Greet :



SEVENDUST returns to Architekt Music for their famous Studio Hang/Listening Party on September 16, 2015 – this time to celebrate the release of KILL THE FLAW. The event starts at 7PM! This event will be held at Architekt Music in Butler, New Jersey.


Event begins at 7pm. Doors will open at 6pm. This show is General Admission and is an ALL AGES event.

This will be a night with SEVENDUST unlike any other, and an experience only available at this exclusive event!

Lajon Witherspoon (lead vocals)
Clint Lowery (guitar, vocals)
Morgan Rose (drums, vocals)
John Connolly (guitar, vocals)
Vince Hornsby (bass)

- You MUST bring your ID.
- You and your property WILL BE SEARCHED upon entry.
- This event WILL have restricted audio and video access.
- You may be filmed and/or recorded and by purchasing a ticket, agree to appear on any and all upcoming releases without further permission or compensation.
- There are no tickets to claim nor will any be issued. Your entire party must be present in order to enter the venue and the person on the will-call list must have photo ID on hand.
- Architekt is an intimate-sized venue – moshing and crowd surfing are discouraged and any such behavior is at the risk of the patron and may at any time be stopped by security.
- You assume any and all risks occurring before, during, or after event, including injury by any cause. You release management, facility, club, Architekt, and their respective affiliates and representatives from any related claims.
- Entry is revokable. Management may, without refund, revoke this license or refuse admission for noncompliance with terms or disorderly conduct. You consent to search on entry and waive related claims.


Predicting The New York Times’ Next 3 Articles About The Vinyl Pressing Boom

Posted in record collector disease, The Marketplace at 4:59 pm by

(above : a mysterious, boiling vat of something or other,not unlike one Jerry Jones might fall into if he’s not careful)

Do editors at the NY Times routinely read portions of the paper besides their own? I ask because today’s Media section has a longish piece on new pressing plants in Bordentown, NJ and Memphis, TN barely a month after the World section featured the story of Lodnice’s Gramofonove Zavody (aka GZ Media). It would seem the paper of record has moved on from their every-10-months obligatory (you pick) RSD/record shops/”hey they still sell turntables” articles to instead focus on the manufacturing process. It doesn’t take a genius to see where this is going (and that’s pretty lucky, because most of you aren’t geniuses) :

January, Sunday Styles : Matt Harvey and Michael Dorf having brunch (at a pressing plant)

February, Decision 2016 : a Chris Christie photo op at Bordentown’s Independent Record Pressing (suddenly the state’s single biggest employer) turns ugly when crony Jerry Jones falls into a boiling vat of lye. It’s all the more curious because there’s no need for a boiling vat of lye in the record pressing process.

March, Science : Nashville’s URP unveils plans to manufacture a ltd. edition Jack White 7″ on the eve of Record Store Day 2016, but they’ll have it in stores for Record Store Day 2015 thru the advent of time travel.


Gap Toothed Village Whore Shaming Aside, Here’s A Reasoned Take On The Football League’s Mooted Reboot

Posted in Football, The Marketplace at 11:21 pm by

There’s talk of England’s Football League getting a facelift of sorts, with all 3 divisions renamed something more sexy/modern/less confusing starting next season “in a bid to boost the league’s brand identity.” In the considered view of The Set Pieces’ Iain Macintosh, “we need something more tangible than expensively sourced bullshit and glitter”. Not that he can’t be called a realist, however (“you try dragging a nine year old Messi fan boy out to watch Notts County slide down the pyramid and see where it gets you”).

We suffered in the 1980s when the bigger clubs decided that they no longer wished to split gate receipts down the middle. We suffered in the 1990s when the bigger clubs decided that they wanted almost all of the TV money. We’re suffering now because, not content with all of the money, the bigger clubs want all of the players too, stockpiled, catalogued and sent out on loan just in case they turn out to be any good.

We really need the Football League in our corner right now. We’ve tried telling the Football Association about our problems, but they just suggested tossing a squadron of B teams down, a move that would cement our position as the gap-toothed village whores that the young aristocrats come to practice-fuck in exchange for a handful of coppers. We need real leadership and real solutions. We don’t need the people tasked with protecting us to start pissing down our backs and telling us that it’s raining.
The logic of a rebrand simply doesn’t work. No Plymouth Argyle fan has ever refused to go to Home Park on the basis that League Two doesn’t sound sexy enough. No lapsed Carlisle fans would be be lured back if they turned League Two into the Megaspurt Infinity Division. I can’t tell you for sure why not enough people go to Football League games, but I’d imagine it has something to do with the fact that ticket prices for the bottom flight can often be over £20. And it’s fine when you’re single and free, but when children enter your life, the bill starts to rise and before long you wonder if it might not be better to spend that money in a more constructive manner.

She’s Not Gonna Raise Her Blood Temperature For This Stupidity (And Neither Am I)

Posted in Free Expression, Gridiron at 10:43 pm by

At the risk of regurgitating my not-quite-award-winning Twitter feed, I’ll say this much for Giants head coach Tom Coughlin ; it can’t easy taking the heat off Matt Williams. Taking away for a moment the former’s dubious decision to trade 3 points for some 30 yards of field position on Dallas’ final possession — knowing full well a late Cowboys TD + PAT was all the hosts needed to win, consider this :

Stunning stuff, right? While Coughlin’s entitled to his side of the story, I’m inclined to stand in solidarity with the trenchant analyst below :