03.16.14

Creative Excuses Dept, SXSW Wrap Up Edition

Posted in 12XU, Internal Affairs, Rock Und Roll at 10:10 pm by

Unholy Two are the reason why if you need me to do anything for the next few days, you’ll need to write it down.

Red Sox Vow To Help, Not Punish Their Prodigal Pussy Hunter

Posted in Baseball, The Law at 1:11 pm by

“We spent the last couple days gathering information trying to find out what happened and what needs to be done,” Red Sox general manager Ben Cherington said of catching prospect Jon Denny’s recent brush with the law. “At this point, we’re in the middle of putting together a program for Jon to address things that we feel he needs to address.” Presumably one of those things will including not telling officers of the law that’s he cruising for pussy. From The Boston Globe’s Nick Cafardo :

“We certainly take the incident seriously as we would with any other player. We’re trying to address his needs and help him in any way we can. But certainly he has some work to do.”

Denney, 19, was arrested early Thursday morning and charged with driving with a suspended license.

Denney was initially pulled over at 11:57 p.m. in the Fort Myers Beach area when his black Ford F-150 Raptor was observed accelerating quickly through a stop sign, causing the pickup truck to fishtail.

Denney produced a passport and an Arkansas license that was restricted for business and emergency purposes because of a previous DUI arrest. The Lee County police report indicated Denney started to “cuss at two officers.” Denney then said he was a Red Sox player and made more money than the officers would ever see.

Cafardo indicates that while Denney received a signing bonus of $875,000.00, his current salary is roughly $1000 a month during the season.

03.15.14

Boras To Mets : You’re Letting Your Fans Down (By Not Enriching Me)

Posted in Baseball at 1:54 pm by

Not for the first time, player agent Scott Boras has suggested clubs unwilling to lavish a long-term pact upon SS Stephen Drew are refusing to compete.  On Friday, Boras echoed prior remarks, claiming the failure to pursue Drew was indicative of a lack of “credibility”.  From Newsday’s Anthony Rieber :

“I think the earnestness of a franchise and their desire to win is always appraised by their conduct in pursuing the available talent,” Boras told Newsday when asked about the Mets and free-agent shortstop Drew in a telephone interview Friday.

They have known weaknesses. We’re talking about a shortstop that’s in the top eight in baseball, is fourth in OPS, drove in [67] runs last year and is one of the better defenders at his position. When these players are available and clubs that have weaknesses are not pursuing them, a question of the integrity of what the goals of the organization are come to mind.”

Asked whether he was speaking of the Mets, Boras said: “I’m not speaking about anyone specifically. I’m just speaking generally about the reason that these players are coveted, the reason that these players are so valuable, the reason they sign late, is teams get to look in spring training and the obvious weaknesses of clubs is revealed. The fans of the respective teams really get to look inside what can really help their team and the fact that this talent is available . . . without the detriment of losing a first-round pick. It’s rare that you have that opportunity.”

Guy Who Doesn’t Wanna Make It About Race & Hip Hop Tends To Make Things About Race (And/Or Hip Hop)

Posted in Austin, non-sporting journalism at 12:06 pm by

In the wake of  Wednesday’s fatalities & multiple injuries outside an X/Tyler The Creator show at Austin’s Mohawk, longtime Austin music press fixture Michael Corcoran considers the matter of the accused 21 year old driver, Rashad Owens, and declares, “this can’t be about hip hop and race”.  It’s an interesting angle given that while I’ve seen and heard all sorts of discussion about police protocol, crowd control, or the growth of SXSW and/or Austin, I’d yet to read any suggestion this was, y’know, about race and hip hop.  Granted, I’ve not read everything online (and I’m doing everything possible to avoid reading unmoderated comments on local newspaper websites).

It’s been widely reported that Owens is an aspiring M.C. who’d been booked to appear at Club 1808 Wednesday night, though Corcoran finds no evidence of such and doesn’t seem pleased that “big media” are repeating this as though it were fact.   “Neither the Facebook page nor the Twitter account of Owens or his “K.A.B. 254” rap du plume had any mention of shows at SXSW. A hip hop artist not hyping their shows on social media?!”  OK, I’m not sure where we’re going here.  Fair enough, charge Owens with murder, but is it really necessary to lambaste him for poor promotion, or perpetuate the stereotype that all rappers are social media pests?

“He’s loosely connected with the dirty south crew Strictly Mafioso,” writes Corcoran, “but there’s no evidence of him ever performing at more than a house party. He’s got a couple tracks on Soundcloud, but so does every high school ukulele player….It kinda makes me ill to see this ice-veined villain’s photo in the paper this morning with the headline ‘Suspect in crash a Killeen musician.’ He’s no more a musician than Troy Aikman is an actor.’”

If this tragedy is most assuredly NOT about hip hop, how is it relevant or even remotely helpful for Corcoran to argue an unknown schlub with tracks on Soundcloud is any more or less qualified to be an (unofficial) SXSW participant than any number of thousands of guitar-playing assholes?  Why is Owens less of a musician than Bob Schneider? I mean, I know this isn’t the time  to get into such considerations, but that’s precisely why it’s baffling Corcoran brought any of it up.  I’m totally down with the argument that what happened late Wednesday night wasn’t about race or hip hop, but why does any of this have to be about music criticism and what Michael Corcoran does or doesn’t consider to be actual music?

Keep in mind, the assertion to not make the case about race is coming from is the same fella who used the auspices of the local daily to liken a black journalist to Al Sharpton or Eddie Murphy, despite looking and sounding like neither.  This is the same scribe who derisively referred to a neighbor as “DJ Screw” for interrupting his Saturday afternoon television viewing (as opposed to, y’know, pioneering an art form).

I understand we all have our own way of processing grief, terror, anger, etc.   But for fuck’s sake, don’t use the deaths of innocent people as an excuse to take shots at genres or cultures you’ve previously demonstrated you’re inclined to dislike.

03.14.14

Though I’m Not A Religious Person….

Posted in Religion at 7:43 pm by

 

….I’ve got my price, to borrow a popular phrase.  And my price happens to be the Million Dollar Man’s autograph.

Renck On Kevin Towers’ Tough Guy Act

Posted in Basketball at 1:55 pm by

Kirk Gibson’s Diamondbacks are seemingly under the impression the fastest way to return to baseball relevance is to become the NL West’s Most Easily Offended Team.  Not content with bawling over the sanctity of their fucking swimming pool being invaded by the Yasiel Puigs of the world, Wednesday saw Snakes P Wade Miley drill Colorado’s Troy Tulowitzki after Arizona’s Mark Trumbo was plunked earlier in the game.  Opined The Denver Post’s Troy Renck, “the idea of retaliation is unfathomable in a Cactus League game” — because if you’re gonna risk maiming an opponent, at least it should happen during a game that counts in the standings.

Arizona general manager Kevin Towers (above) said before spring training that he wants his pitchers to hit more batters this season. “I think come spring training, it will be duly noted that it’s going to be an eye for an eye and we’re going to protect one another,” Towers told MLB.com. “If not, if you have options, there’s ways to get you out of here, and if you don’t follow suit or you don’t feel comfortable doing it, you probably don’t belong in a Diamondbacks uniform.”

Frontier justice has a place in baseball. But it requires context. A cleats-up slide. Admiration of a home run like it’s a first born. Bad blood. None of these factors existed Wednesday.

Why would Hernandez, a guy with no chance of making the team, throw at Trumbo with a runner at first base? A big inning only accelerates his exit to the minors.

Trumbo wears it, then Tulo takes one. The Diamondbacks, because of their public stance on this issue, lose benefit of the doubt. Every time they hit a guy, opponents will believe there is intent.

03.13.14

Dan Warthen Apologizes (For The Second Time)

Posted in Baseball, Racism Corner at 8:12 am by

“I couldn’t remember the last time I heard the term ‘Chinaman,’” wrote the Wall Street Journal’s Stuart Woo on Monday, shortly after hearing Mets pitching coach Dan Warthern tell Jeff Cutler, Daisuke Matzusaka’s interpreter, “I’m sorry I called you a ‘Chinaman’ yesterday…I thought it was a pretty good joke, though.”  On Wednesday, Warthern and his employers said they were sorry (again).  From the New York Daily News’ Kristie Ackert :

In a statement released by the Mets, Warthen apologized for what he called “thoughtless and inappropriate” comments.

“I apologize for the thoughtless remarks that I made yesterday in the clubhouse. They were a poor attempt at humor but were wrong and inappropriate in any setting. I am very sorry,” Warthen said in the team statement.

Sandy Alderson also issued an apology via the release.

“On behalf of the entire organization, I apologize for the insensitive remarks made by of one of our staff members. The remarks were offensive and inappropriate and the organization is very sorry,” the Mets general manager said.

03.12.14

CSTB’s Greatest (?) Hits : Reverse Psychology Career Launching

Posted in History's Not Happening, Internal Affairs at 1:59 pm by

(Editor’s Note : what with my responsibilities to the Cumbucket Media Empire’s various parties /meet & greets happening around Austin’s Warehouse District this week, postings to CSTB will be somewhat sporadic — I know, what else is new?   But in the meantime, here’s a classic from 2005 that seems rather timeless in light of the garbage masquerading as art all over this fine — for 51 weeks a year — city. How was I to know it would eventually provide one-sheet fodder for one that generation’s most beloved (give or take 300 other artists) bands?  – GC)

from CSTB March 18, 2004, “The Perils Of SXSW”

Hard to choose which is more depressing from today’s series of events at the local trade fair-cum-music festival (or on the better days, a music festival with a smattering of trade fair-isms), that I missed the Futureheads whilst watching Oklahoma State beat Southeastern Louisiana (then again, I wasn’t invited to the party the Futureheads played at — apparently you need to actually be doing something or other in the entertainment business, and as you all know, I’m not exactly Doug Moody)….or what little live music I did end up witnessing.

I’m not gonna mention the band’s name, because I have no desire to publicly ridicule them or cast a shadow on their burgeoning career. I’m sure they are very nice, fun guys to hang around with. Strike that, I’m not sure of that at all. But assuming some of you have standards for human company as low as those for rock’n'roll, well, perhaps they are your friends.

None of which, however, excuses a noted music journalist nor a respected booking impresario singing the praises of a combo that sounds like nothing so much as latter period Soul Asylum fronted by Charles Nelson Reilly. To steal a line from Take It’s Michael Koenig, their stage presence would’ve crowded the rest room. Except they were playing in a tent, with no toilet.

And with that, I am officially no longer listening to any future reccomendations from well-meaning simpletons with double-digit musical IQ’s. When you finally figure out the difference between shit and shinola, tell someone else about it.

K-Rod Finally Found An Opponent Tougher Than His Father In Law

Posted in Baseball, Medical Science at 1:48 pm by

Reliever Francisco Rodriguez, whose brief New York Mets tenure was punctuated by brawling with a really old man, has apparently met his match in Brewers camp.

03.11.14

If You’re Kent Hrbek, There’s All Kinds Of Crying In Baseball

Posted in Baseball at 2:41 pm by

Former Twins 1B Kent Hrbeck (above, right) is making an appearance at this weekend’s Rock N Jock Expo in New Hope, MN, and while City Pages’ Danny Sigelman takes care to note they’ll be showing the Grant Hart documentary, “Every, Everything”, his music Q’s for Hrbeck are a little more general in nature :

Music plays a big part in baseball games, at least for the fans. Is there some music from when you were on the field you really remember as part of the game?

Everytime I hear “If I had the Time of my Life” from Dirty Dancing, they played that song in the video of the World Series. Whenever I hear that song, I start crying. I have a soft spot in my heart for that song. You can play it any place and I always get sentimental over it. I guess when they hear it most people think about Dirty Dancing, but I think of baseball.

Right on, Did you have a song for your walk-up music back then?

We didn’t have walk up music then. It wasn’t a thing. I’ll tell you, Harmon Killibrew is rolling over in his grave if these guys have to have walk-up music. He’d say, “You have to hit the ball no matter where you are. If you have to have your song to get fired up to hit, then how you going to hit the ball when we go on the road and you don’t have that song?”

You must have had some feelings about them tearing the Metrodome down?

I had tears watching them blow the thing up. That was a special place in my life. It’s where I spent my summer for 14 years. I played in the very first game there ever and saw the last Vikings game they played at the Dome. I know it was horrible to watch baseball there. But all my memories are in there. I really want to get a couple seats if I can.

Woj : Phil & The Knicks Are (Another) Disaster Waiting To Happen

Posted in Basketball at 12:30 pm by

Of Steve Mills’ (presumably successful) attempts to replace himself with Phil Jackson, Posting & Toasting’s Seth Rosenthal opines the Knicks, “will not be filling a job opening, they will be creating a job opening with which to subsume Phil Jackson, who does not necessarily fit the job opening created just for him.” Yahoo Sports’ Adrian Wojnarowski is even more convinced the pairing is doomed, warning, “the Knicks’ culture and values belong to James Dolan, and there are no executives – no forces of nature – that will change it.”

Far less accomplished people have been hired to run franchises, thus there’s no arguing Jackson isn’t worthy of an opportunity. Nevertheless, there are significant doubts about Jackson’s ability to translate his coaching genius to front-office organization and tenacity. Respected officials doubt his desire to spend the necessary time evaluating talent, constructing a staff beyond those indebted cronies forever at his NBA side. They wonder about his commitment to investing time into the small, mundane assignments that are necessary to turning a loser into a contender. How much time will Jackson even spend in New York?

The Knicks are low on draft picks and assets, long on bad contracts and bad knees. For even the most elite of front-office executives, this is a challenging job – never mind a 68-year-old who’ll find little of the adulation of championship-level coaching, and far more the criticism and second-guessing that comes with a rebuild.

Dolan believes Jackson’s star power can trump Pat Riley’s on the free-agent market, but make no mistake: Before a general manager can chase free-agents star, there needs to be an infrastructure of good, young and inexpensive talent born of savvy scouting and creativity deal-making. Jackson can’t snap his fingers and expedite talent to his roster.

Someone Forgot To Tell The Editor About The Print Zine Revival : Conflict 54

Posted in Internal Affairs, non-sporting journalism, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 10:00 am by

If you missed out on 2013′s semi-surprise revival, don’t fret. The 2014 edition is every bit as predictable. Death Of Samantha’s John Petkovic gets grilled, a bunch of 2013 & 2014 records are reviewed, and there’s a guest editorial from CSTB’s own op/ed dynamo, Randy L.

03.10.14

Civilization 1, Sub-Pizza Hut Garbage-On-Crust, ZERO

Posted in Food, The Marketplace at 1:56 pm by

(this entire post is just a lousy cheap excuse to post the above video…again)

CNNMoney’s Chris Isidore reports that purveyors of toxic, pseudo-Italian grub SBARRO are well and truly fucked. If you were here right now, I’d high five you so fucking hard you’d need a mechanical claw to place your next pizza order.

In a statement Monday the chain said the bankruptcy filing is a pre-packaged plan, which means that it has already agreed on a reorganization plan with creditors that hold 98% of the company’s debt. That should allow it to quickly shed an estimated $140 million in debt, and emerge from bankruptcy as a healthier company.In February, the company announced it was closing 155 company-owned restaurants in the United States, effective immediately. That left it with 220 U.S. locations and more than 600 other locations owned by franchise operators in 40 different countries.

Sbarro is best known for locations in airports, malls, train stations and highway rest stops — high traffic locations with limited direct competition from other pizza chains.

 

Having Fucked With The International Music Media, Derek Erdman Takes Aim At MLB’s Licensing Dept.

Posted in Baseball, Modern Art at 2:20 am by

What do you do for an encore after convincing the mainstream media a former roommate of the late Kurt Cobain was trying to unload the former’s skis on Craigslist? If you’re the one and only Derek Erdman, you introduce the Johnny Bench Bench.

Mendenhall : Enough With Football (& The Bold Coarseness)

Posted in Gridiron at 2:06 am by

“I no longer wish to put my body at risk for the sake of entertainment.” So declares former Steelers/Cardinals RB/9-11 doubter Rashard Mendenhall, who announced his retirement Sunday after 6 seasons in the NFL. If you’re wondering why he’d choose to walk away from such a high paying profession at the relatively young age of 26, you’re not alone. As Mendenhall explains to the Huffington Post, “as I told the people around me that I wasn’t planning on signing again, there was a surprising amount of shock and bewilderment.”

Imagine having a job where you’re always on duty, and can never fully relax or you just may drown. Having to fight through waves and currents of praise and criticism, but mostly hate. I can’t even count how many times I’ve been called a ‘dumb nigger’. There is a bold coarseness you receive from non-supporters that seems to only exist on the Internet. However, even if you try to avoid these things completely — because I’ve tried — somehow they still reach you. If not first-hand, then through friends and loved ones who take to heart all that they read and hear. I’m not a terribly sensitive person, so this stuff never really bothered me. That was until I realized that it actually had an impact my career. Over my career, I would learn that everything people say behind these computer and smartphones actually shape the perception of you — the brand, the athlete and the person. Go figure!

Over my career, because of my interests in dance, art and literature, my very calm demeanor, and my apparent lack of interest in sporting events on my Twitter page, people in the sporting world have sometimes questioned whether or not I love the game of football. I do. I always have. I am an athlete and a competitor. The only people who question that are the people who do not see how hard I work and how diligently I prepare to be great — week after week, season after season. I take those things very seriously. I’ve always been a professional. But I am not an entertainer. I never have been. Playing that role was never easy for me. The box deemed for professional athletes is a very small box. My wings spread a lot further than the acceptable athletic stereotypes and conformity was never a strong point of mine.

03.09.14

The Greatest Piece Of WFAN-Related Merchandise Since The Introduction Of Joe Benigno-Gazingo Halloween Maks

Posted in Fashion, New York, New York, Sports Radio at 5:54 pm by

My mom’s got a birthday coming up…and that’s too bad for her, because I’ve already spent the money for her present on my own snazzy STEVE FUCKING SOMERS SCHMOOZAHOLICS ANONYMOUS SHIRT.    The New York Post’s Rumble caught up with WFAN’s venerable Captain Midnight and gauged his reaction to this huge moment in fashion history :

“If you can think of a reason why, let alone you, why anyone would buy this, you can let me know,” the self-deprecating Somers told the us. “It’s hard for me to imagine somebody walking around New York City wearing a Schmoozer T-shirt. It’s hard for me to imagine anything with my likeness on a T-shirt selling, but nonetheless, maybe it will.”

Somers, who has given us Al Harbor and Mike Bassy and Clark Gills and Bryan Troutier, was asked how he would feel if his T-shirt became the rage at the Nassau Mausoleum.

“Talk about sarcasm, talk about parody, talk about caricature — boy, that would be something!” Somers said. “I think Icelander fans would love to wear it.”

Somers, naturally, schmoozed on Phil Jackson possibly joining the Knicks in their front office.

“He would be the only either coach or front-office executive who is gluten-free and soy-free, and to get him off the mountaintop with the monks and the Zen, that he would probably turn down the Knicks because he would rather meditate instead of renovate, a team that only vegetates,” Somers said.

Can Stoya Teach Us About Dino Costa?

Posted in Dino Costa, Free Expression, non-sporting journalism, Sports Radio at 4:11 pm by

Perhaps prompted by the furor over the woman commonly referred to online as “the Duke porn star”, veteran adult entertainment performer Stoya took to the New York Times’ op/ed page today (“Can We Learn About Privacy From A Porn Star?”) and described her own choice of stage name as matter of creative branding (“more like deciding on a user name for any Internet service or website”) more than an attempt to maintain anonymity :

I chose Stoya because it was there. It was a diminutive of my grandmother’s maiden name, and my mother had considered it before naming me after Jessica Savitch, the news anchor. Spoken aloud, Stoya had a nice balance between femininity and strength. It felt rightfully mine because of the family history. An insurance agent owned the domain stoya.com, but I didn’t think I’d ever need a website of my own.

The strangers who call me Jessica at publicity appearances lean in far too close. They hiss it as if they have top-secret information. All they’re doing is letting me know that they had 30 seconds to spend on Google and no sense of propriety — which may sound funny coming from a woman who flagrantly disregards it herself. They’re often the same people who refer to my orifices as “that” instead of “your,” as though the body part in question is running around free-range instead of attached to a person with free will and autonomy.

Maybe it would be easier to navigate the dissolving boundaries between public and private spaces if we all had a variety of names with which to signal the aspects of ourselves currently on display.

With Stoya’s words in mind, I’ve come to the difficult conclusion that it is highly rude and inappropriate for Dino Costa’s internet critics (most of whom he’s recently blocked — again — from his Twitter account) to continue to refer to the jobless ex-broadcaster (above) as “Ryan Patrick”. So he’s using a stage name, BIG DEAL. Whether it’s a branding exercise or simply an attempt to outrun creditors is really none of our business.

And just as it would be completely wrong to presume Stoya’s artistic & commercial efforts represent the full sum of what she’s about as a person, it would be equally mistaken to judge Costa purely on the basis of…of…well, he’s not on the radio anymore. He hasn’t been able to pay the server bill for his blog. So really, the only place left to jump to awful conclusions about him is the protected twitter feed, the one where’s taken to baiting atheists, professing that he doesn’t fear death (y’know, what with being saved by J-E-S-U-S) and going all Truther on Sandy Hook.

Who are we to say this represent the “real” Dino any more or less than one of Stoya’s more celebrated performances represents the sum of what she’s about? Why is it so hard to believe that Costa, like Stoya, was being paid (albeit not nearly as well) to serve as an embodiment of any number of fantasy personas?

That Stoya is far better at her job (and immeasurably better writing about it) than Costa ever was is not the point. Maybe the Dino Costa who used the airwaves and internet to call President Barack Obama, “that thing”, to call a transgender artist, “it”, the deadbeat fucking con artist Dino Costa who took to Fox News days after the Boston Marathon bombings to speculate that, y’know, maybe it was an inside job, is a bigger fantasy construct than anyone in the pornography business.

I mean, that would be nicer than believing any human being could possibly suck that much.

03.08.14

SXSW’s Boost To The Austin Economy, Vividly Illustrated

Posted in Austin, South By Suck Off, The Marketplace at 7:53 pm by

Why should jello shot emporiums that don’t lift a finger to support interesting live music 51 weeks a year be the only ones to cash in on SXSW? Depending on how much you can bench press, here’s your big chance, too.

George Foster : Almost As Lousy An Archivist As He Is An M.C.

Posted in Baseball at 7:11 pm by

“You’re just punishing yourself if you worry about those types of things, because there is nothing you can do about them.  It’s like water under the bridge.”  While you might hope former Reds OF George Foster is talking about the critical reaction to his “Get Metsmerized” 12″ (above), he’s actually referring to his decision to give away the home run ball from Carlton Fisk’s dramatic game-winner that dinged the left field pole atop Fenway’s Green Monster in Game 6 of the 1975 World Series.  From MLB.com’s Terrence Moore  : (link swiped from Repoz and Baseball Think Factory)

Given the mega bucks that will be involved next month in the auction for the Fisk ball, and given that Foster surely could use some of those pennies to help his love affair with philanthropy, did he wish he hadn’t given the ball away “to a friend as a souvenir” in 1999?

Foster paused, and then he said without the hint of regret, “Back then, you really didn’t look at the value of things like that. It wasn’t until sometime after that, when you started to hear of people saving dirt from the World Series, or even broken bats and different gloves and those types of things.

“Back then, it wasn’t really a big deal for us. You don’t realize the value of a ball until it’s in somebody else’s hands, because you looked at it as more of sentimental value, not monetary. When I gave [the Fisk ball] away, no value was placed on it, because it was more of a gift to somebody else from that World Series.”

Foster didn’t name that “somebody else,” but soon after the ball left his hands in 1999, it was purchased later that year by Red Sox fan Rick Elfman, when Elfman paid an estimated $110,000 for it during the first auction for the ball.

Foster had returned to his home in California for the winter with his duffel bag — you know, the one that just happened to have baseball history stuffed between sweat socks and underwear — and carried on with the rest of his life. The days became months, and the months became decades, and for the Fisk ball, there was no special trophy case at Foster’s home, no security box at the bank . . . no big deal.

Professonal Sports Ownership’s Foremost Harry Anderson Lookalike Just Dropped A Pipe Bomb On The Marlins

Posted in Baseball, twitter twatter at 6:19 pm by

Miami took exception to the defending World Series titleholder Boston Red Sox sending a squad of relatively unheralded players to a Thursday afternoon exhibition matinee in Jupiter, FL, the hosts’ consternation perhaps not unconnected to their decision to price tickets for the contest in what’s called a “super premium” tier.  While Boston GM Ben Cherington apologized yesterday, it seems his employer takes a somewhat different view :

And their sweetheart stadium deal, accu-jack enthusiast / shit-shoveling club president, eyesore of a ballpark, meddlesome creep for an owner, banishment of Billy Marlin to Seaworld, etc.   But John Henry’s only got 140 characters.

K.C. Will Have To Find Another Terribly Ineffective, Unathletic Long Reliever

Posted in Baseball at 12:44 am by

Brad Penny’s tenure with the Royals was awfully brief, with the veteran right-hander (above) topping off a pair of ineffective spring training outings by breaking his non-throwing hand slugging a wall. No idea if Kevin Towers is laughing tonight or not, but with all due respect to Clint Barmes, Amare Stoudemire, Brian Anderson and Joel “Guitar Hero” Zumaya, John Tudor has to ask, “is that the best Penny could do?”

03.07.14

Can’t Sam Smith Sort Thru His Mailbag Without Destroying Carmelo Anthony’s Leverage?

Posted in Basketball at 10:06 pm by

Gaurav Garg : I was reading an article on ESPN recently and in the article (it read) that all the Bulls need to do to get Carmelo Anthony is amnesty Boozer and trade away Dunleavy, but I thought that it was much more complex than that. Because looking at the Bulls payroll as is, for next season they are at 63M, which is right at the cap, maybe a little over. So if they amnesty Boozer and trade away Dunleavy for nothing, that gets them to about 44-45M. But now wouldn’t they have to set aside 6M for 2 likely 1st round draft picks, plus then have 2M in cap phantoms eaten into their payroll, leaving them with only 10M to offer Anthony, not to mention having to renounce the rights to their FAs and not able to bring over Mirotic. I personally don’t want the Bulls to sign Anthony. I think we could be title contenders with Mirotic, and a healthy team. I really think if Asik was healthy in the 2011 ECF, the Bulls knock off Miami. The Bulls gave Miami a lot of trouble with their bigs when Rose was healthy. Miami had no answer for our big men.

Sam Smith : You certainly are ruining your chances of working at ESPN. The “Noah recruits Melo at All-Star” was the Anthony rumor of the week. Is it July already? Yes, we’ve got four months of these coming. But you are correct. It’s a lot more than the breezy summary ESPN offered. But when ESPN promotes something, it gets attention; they are great at that and we all do watch. They do say Entertainment before Sports in their name. Anyway, Anthony can sign with the Knicks this summer for $129 million; the maximum the Bulls or any free agency team could offer would be a four-year deal worth about $96 million. But the Bulls would need to be $22.5 million below the cap for that amount of about $33 million less to be paid Anthony. The Bulls without Dunleavy have about $42.5 million committed next season to Noah, Rose, Gibson, Butler and Tony Snell. The cap is expected to rise to about $62 million from the current $58 million. If you also gave away Snell you’d be close to that $22 million base salary. But it would require an amnesty for Boozer, releasing Hinrich and Augustin, trading both your first round draft picks for future draft picks and telling Nikola Mirotic you are not interested this summer. So then you basically are trading Augustin, Hinrich, Dunleavy, Boozer, Snell and two first rounders for Anthony. And Anthony still could not get that full $96 million because you have cap holds for roster spots as you have to have placeholders up to 12 on your roster and the Bulls would have just four players other than Anthony.

“Ask Sam”, Bulls.com, March 7, 2014

Over at Posting & Toasting, Seth Rosenthal suggests the Knicks treat Melo like “a human adult who’s been around the league a while and has already seen this same organization clean out so they could acquire him” by way of pitching a more conservative deal than the maximum (ie. if New York’s maxed out, they can’t assemble proper pieces around Anthony). Ideally, Rosenthal hopes Anthony, “understands that the Knicks should be months past the point of valuing the present season over the long term, isn’t fooled by some harebrained plot to scapegoat the coach that’s both self-destructive and a tacit admission that the roster sucks…and recognizes that it would take sacrifice to repair all of the above.”

I don’t know who this amazingly unselfish, highly insightful Carmelo Anthony is, but I’m sure we’d love to meet him someday!

03.06.14

Is This Upcoming A’s Button Series 2014′s Greatest MLB Promotion…

Posted in Baseball at 9:11 pm by

A Definite Entry For St. Louis’ Best Of Craigslist Emerges

Posted in record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 5:59 pm by

Speaking as a resident of an allegedly major American city where people would sooner attend a fucking ELO hoot night than watch the Bad Sports, I can’t really find fault if this idea catches on in St. Louis.

From Craigsist STL (Community/Musicians) :

Forming a Drunks with Guns / Strangulated Beatoffs / Bullets for Pussy tribute band. These are some of St. Louis most influential bands in Europe and Japan.

Looking for guitar, keys, drums, and knob twiddlers.

All proceeds will be given to the original band members, for their psych meds.

I am serious, lets do this. No shredders allowed, unless you switch instruments.

Email me a dick pic and your contact info. Even ifyou’re a chick, I want a dick pic.

Is The Former Dan X. Tanna Is Ready To Cop A Plea?

Posted in Baseball, The Law, twitter twatter at 4:48 pm by

Tanna: “tomorrow is Friday the 13th… lets get a gang of us to wear Jason Vorhees masks to Citi-Field and go skin us a GM-Owner-Manager”

Tanna: “think of it… it would be the lead story on CNN…. #mets fans kill the team owner-gm-manager. before they kill us #selfdefense”

Tanna: “what are some good ways to dispose of Wilpon-Alderson-Collins any ideas?”

Tanna: “there will be a blood bath at Citi-Field tomorrow night”

Tanna: “no #mets fan will get out alive if you have on a 7 Line t-shirt… Jason Vorhees doesn’t care for plump plums”

Those are just a few of the Twitter outpourings of Aryan LeRoux, aka Dan X. Tanna, charged last October with making criminal threats against New York Mets ownership and management. According to ESPN NY’s Adam Rubin, Leroux, “applied in Milford (CT) superior court Thursday to participate in a program that would prompt the dismissal of the case upon completion.”

Prosecutors have alleged Leroux, 42, of West Haven, Conn., threatened team executives, players and coaches via Twitter in October and also made a “specific threat” to Citi Field. He was charged with second-degree threatening and second-degree breach of peace — both misdemeanors.

A hearing is scheduled for April 7 regarding Leroux’s application for the Accelerated Pretrial Rehabilitation Program. Completion of the program would prompt the charges to be dropped.