Finally, The Entertainment Division Of Cumbucket Media Can Reveal Our 2015 Holiday Spectacular

Posted in 12XU, Austin, Internal Affairs, Merry Fucking Christmas, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 1:05 pm by

Austin’s 22nd or 23rd most important independent label continues the tradition of an annual holiday show-for-free, though you’re politely asked to bring a can of food (or two) for the Capital Area Food Bank of Austin.

Once again, the all-star bill is augmented by recorded selections from the archives of Johnny Vomitnoise, and the cinema enthuasists amongst you will be thrilled to know we’ll be showing the 1996 Palme d’or winner for best film, “Santa With Muscles” before the live entertainment begins.

The show is free but once again we’ll be accepting canned food donations for the Capital Area Food Bank Of Texas. If you’d like to support this organization and simply hate the bands, Beerland, 12XU and/or myself, you can make a donation here

De La Hoya To Mayweather : You’re A Bore

Posted in Boxing at 12:48 am by

It’s pretty shocking that Oscar De La Hoya would take to the pages of Playboy to pen an open letter to recently retired former rival Floyd Mayweather Jr. (above) ; has Oscar not heard of The Player’s Tribune? In a scathing assessment of Mayweather’s body of work, De La Hoya scolds, “the fight game will be a better one without you in it…let’s face it. You were boring.”

 Just take a look at your most recent performance, your last hurrah in the ring, a 12-round decision against Andre Berto. How to describe it? A bust? A disaster? A snooze fest? An affair so one-sided that on one judge’s card Berto didn’t win a single round? Everyone in boxing knew Berto didn’t have a chance. I think more people watched Family Guy reruns that night than tuned in to that pay-per-view bout. But I didn’t mind shelling out $75 for the HD broadcast. In fact it’s been a great investment. When my kids have trouble falling asleep, I don’t have to read to them anymore. I just play them your Berto fight. They don’t make it past round three.

Another reason boxing is better off without you: You were afraid. Afraid of taking chances. Afraid of risk. A perfect example is your greatest “triumph,” the long-awaited record-breaking fight between you and Manny Pacquiao. Nearly 4.5 million buys! More than $400 million in revenue! Headlines worldwide! How can that be bad for boxing? Because you lied. You promised action and entertainment and a battle for the ages, and you delivered none of the above. The problem is, that’s precisely how you want it. You should have fought Pacquiao five years ago, not five months ago.

You’re moving on to a new phase of life now, a second act. I’m sure it will be nice not to have to train year-round. To get out of the gym and spend time with your family. But I’m wondering what you’re going to do. You have a lot of time and, at the moment, a lot of money. Maybe you’ll put your true skills to work and open a used-car dealership or run a circus. Or maybe you’ll wind up back on Dancing With the Stars. It’s a job that’s safe, pays well and lets you run around on stage. Something you’ve been doing for most of your career.


Gerald Green’s Wild Weekend

Posted in Basketball at 10:39 pm by

Miami suspended Gerald Green for two games yesterday after what was deemed, “conduct detrimental to the team” following a weekend incident that saw the shooting guard hospitalized with no details revealed. None, however, until today, when the Sun-Sentinel obtained a police report excepted below by the paper’s Ira Windermere :

According to a Nov. 4 City of Miami incident report that the Heat reviewed prior to issuing their sanction, Green landed a punch during the incident at his downtown Miami condo building that preceded his hospitalization last week and was handcuffed prior to being hospitalized.

Green is referred to in the incident report as an “agitated patient” who at one point during the incident was “restrained and handcuffed.” Also, a witness, according to the report, “noticed blood from Mr. Green hands.”

At one point during the incident, the report states, “Mr. Green attempted to make [his] way up to his unit. When Victim #1 tried to hold Mr. Green in the lobby area for fire rescue, Mr. Green punched the victim in the right eye.”

According to the report, “Fire rescue had the patient restrained due to the patient becoming very loud and verbally combative. Fire rescue requested that the Sgt. handcuff the patient.”

ASU’s Sparky Accused Of Going To Great Lengths To Revive CSTB’s “When Mascots Attack” Category

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron, The Law, When Mascots Attack at 5:44 pm by

Finally home from the hospital! Here's what happened Friday that put me back in hospital 2 months after back surgery: pic.twitter.com/FGdpVli3x9

— David Schapira (@dschapira) September 22, 2015

The Arizona Republic’s Darren DeRonca
reports a local politician is suing Arizona State University over injuries suffered during halftime of this past September’s visit by New Mexico.

Tempe Councilman David Schapira has filed a claim against ASU over injuries he sustained during the halftime ceremony at the football game against the University of New Mexico on September 18.

While Schapira stood with other city officials on the sidelines of Sun Devil Stadium as part of City of Tempe night, ASU’s Sparky snuck up and jumped on the 6’5″ councilman’s back.

Unknown to the mascot, Schapira hadn’t fully recovered from a major back operation in July.

“A moment after he landed squarely on my back, I felt a pop in my lower back,” Schapira wrote in his claim. “I tried to push Sparky off as my wife and others yelled to him to get off, but I needed the assistance of another Council Member, Joel Navarro, to get him off my back.”

SB Nation’s Sherman Crunches The Numbers On Tim Wolfe’s Exit

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron, Racism Corner at 12:29 am by

As you’ve undoubtedly read elsewhere, University Of Missouri system president Tim Wolfe and school chancellor R. Bowen Loftin resigned from their posts Monday in the wake of graduate student Jonathan Butler’s hunger strike and the school’s football team threatened walkout in solidarity with Concerned Student 150. Perhaps missing the point, the National Review’s Rich Lowery opined, “If anyone running the university had any guts, the school would have told the team, “Come back and talk to us when you can beat sad-sack Vanderbilt.” Taking a more pragmatic view, SB Nation’s Rodger Sherman counters, “once the football team decided this was a cause worth throwing its weight behind, the game was over.”

Wolfe and Loftin were each reported to make around $450,000 a year. Pinkel just got a pay raise and contract extension that will give him $4 million per year until 2021. You could fire Wolfe and Loftin, hire replacements and do it again twice before hitting the financial burden of paying Pinkel this year. Never mind the next five years or the fact that hiring a new coach would cost as much.

If Mizzou had immediately pulled the scholarships of all the players who threatened to quit — 30-plus in the initial group, plus support on social media and elsewhere from others, with only one anonymous player speaking publicly against the movement — it would’ve had trouble finishing the season.

So add the monetary losses of canceling a game Saturday against BYU, to which Mizzou would’ve owed a million dollars if it had canceled, followed by SEC games at home against Tennessee and on the road at Arkansas.

Then you have to go about replacing those players for the next year. It’s pretty hard to manifest dozens of FBS players from thin air, even for the defending SEC East champions. It would be borderline impossible to do so after telling players they could lose scholarships for having strong opinions. Mizzou would be putting out non-competitive football for years, setting the program back decades and costing the school millions.


Near-Legendary Fuckwit Returns To The Scene Of His Greatest Crimes…

Posted in Austin at 5:11 pm by

…against the women of Austin, aka craigslist. Don’t call it a comeback, Romeo Rose has been here for years.

Star in a documentary about kissing with me $10,000 pay if hired.

I am producing a documentary about all the different styles of kissing.
I need to hire 12 women between the ages of 18-29 for this.
If hired to be in this documentary film you will be paid $10,000.
Auditions are being held this evening 11/8/2015 in South Austin off William Cannon.
I’ve included a few photos of myself because I do not want to waste your time or mine.
I’m the producer as well as main character in this film so you must be able to kiss me in a way that will look natural and organic on film.
You must pass a test audition where we film a short piece so I can know if we look good together on screen or not.
Text asap today and I can provide more information and answer any further questions as well as set up the time for auditioning.
Send a recent photo of yourself in the text.


The Ultimate Xmas Gift For The Screwjob Enthusiast In Your Life

Posted in Fashion, Professional Wrestling at 9:42 pm by

I have it on excellent authority TNA Hall Of Famer (an honor right up there with being inducted into the Canadian Baseball Hall Of Fame) Earl Hebner will be flogging the above shirts when he appears at The Big Event IX in East Elmhust this coming Saturday. Also appearing : aspiring acoustin duo Knobbs & Scaggs, along with Twitter maven Marty Janetty!


Ligue One To Waris : Leave The Superkicks To The Young Bucks, Thanks

Posted in Football at 8:23 pm by

Waris, who plays for Lorient, was incensed by a tackle from the winger Jimmy Briand during the 2-2 draw which was not given as a foul by the referee. He reacted by launching into a kung fu-style kick on his opponent, which resulted in a straight red card.

“What happened on Saturday is strange, crazy,” Waris told Ouest France. “This is the first time in my life that I have got angry like that, on the pitch or off it. I still wonder how I could respond like that, although there were causes.

“The guy fouls me. He was not sanctioned and I have a bad reaction to severe tackles. I should not have done it but I had no intention of hurting him or to kill him. I just wanted to scare him.”

The Guardian, November 6, 2015, on the 6 match ban imposed on striker Majeed Waris.


Ex-Partner : When Did Stephon Marbury Morph Into Phil Mushnick?

Posted in Basketball, The Marketplace at 7:24 pm by

Remember Stephon Marbury’s efforts to bring cheap sneakers to the mass marketplace? Following claims from the former Knicks PG that Michael Jordan has, well, blood on his hands, ex-business partner Rodney Henry refutes Marbury’s claim that Air Jordans can be made for a mere $5. From the New York Post’s Marc Berman :

“My knowledge and experience of creating the Protege shoe allows me to definitively say that I don’t care where you’re producing it that no, you cannot make a good, safe, high performance, technical shoe for five dollars,’’ Henry told The Post. “Consumers want quality construction. A $15 shoe is going to hurt your feet. A good shoe with the proper construction is going to run you between $30 to $40. I know. I have already done it at Sears/KMart under my Protege brand.”

Henry, who once produced a documentary on Marbury’s life and is now starting up a new discount shoe company called Ballstreet, said his former Protege shoes cost at least $16-$19 to make.

Henry still believes in Marbury’s campaign to manufacture cheaper shoes, but said he wanted to speak out because Marbury’s inflammatory statements created misconceptions about shoe salesmen – not just Jordan — ripping off the public.


The ’88-’89 Buffalo Sabres Just Got The Venus Illuminato Off The Hook

Posted in Hockey, Leave No Child Unbeaten at 7:05 pm by

…though you’re free to disagree. Considering this came out on the same week as Dr. Ben Carson’s rap commercial, we’re living in what would have to be considered the opposite of a musical golden age.


It’s Not Too Early To Plan A July Visit To Milwaukee (For The MLB Giveaway Item Of The Century)

Posted in Baseball at 11:38 pm by

Not only should you consider booking plane tickets right now, but rejoice in an Bob Uecker item at CSTB that has absolutely nothing to do with this.

Incredibly, Television Viewers Find The Combined Charms Of Colin Cowherd & Donald Trump Somewhat Elusive

Posted in politics, Sports Radio, Sports TV at 10:44 pm by

Whichever genius at Fox Sports 1 thought it would be a good idea to schedule (and heavily promote) a Monday evening primetime special featuring recently acquired jag-bag Colin Cowherd and Republican Presidential hopeful Donald Trump might well wish to consider the public’s appetite for watching burning trash fires somewhat less than insatiable. According to numbers published by Awful Announcing’s Matt Yoder, sports fans have had quite enough of Cowherd and/or Trump, as is.

As FS1 was airing its Trump-Cowherd primetime special, ESPN was getting ready to air Monday Night Football. The result was that just 53,000 people watched the special at 8 PM ET. Over on ESPN, 2.1 million were tuning in for Monday Night Countdown followed by an audience of over 12 million for Colts-Panthers. But it wasn’t just MNF pregame coverage that beat FS1? No, the Trump-Cowherd interview finished behind the following programs:

NBA OKC/Houston (NBATV) 331k
NBA Coast to Coast (ESPN2) 138k
NFL Total Access NFLN 157k
George Poveromo’s World of Saltwater Fishing NBCSN 66k
CFB Notre Dame/Temple replay (ESPNU) 54k

More people watched a fishing show on NBCSN than Colin Cowherd’s interview with Donald Trump that was heavily promoted during the World Series. Let that soak in.

Fox’s own p.r. dept described the simulcast as “historic”, though it would seem to be standard practice for Cowherd’s show to feature conversations with people who’ve never held elective office.


Outsports : Where’s Your God Now, Daniel Murphy?

Posted in Baseball at 9:57 pm by

“Whatever your sports preference,” writes Outsports’ Cyd Ziegler, “what we know is that the New York Mets this postseason became a symbol of homophobia because their star player Daniel Murphy said some nasty things about gay people.” Those nasty things stemmed from MLB’s Inclusion Ambassador, Billy Bean visiting Mets spring training and Murphy telling reporters that he “disagrees” with Bean’s “lifestyle”. Though I’ve already weighed in on Murphy’s dopey remarks, Ziegler joins the chorus of those celebrating the second baseman’s comeuppance.

In the World Series, on the most important international stage, when it mattered the most, God rejected Murphy. God embarrassed him, making him the goat of Game 4 in a burough called “Queens,” forcing him into another embarrassing error in Game 5, and frosting his bat with a coat of ice for the series as Murphy hit just three balls in 20 at bats. That’s a miserable batting average of .150.

In the end, God said “No.” He told Murphy and the rest of the world that his name is not to be used to defend and promote bigotry. He sent a reminder of why he shared his son, Jesus Christ, with the world: To promote love and remove judgment from the hearts of people.

In the end, God rejected Daniel Murphy, his bat, his glove and his team.

I get that Ziegler’s not being entirely serious here, but what exactly did God have against Yeonis Cespedes or Travis d’Arnaud? The higher power can’t possibly have any problems with David Wright’s embrace of all peoples.

Aside From Being Cheap, Short-Sighted & Condescening, The Nats Are Totally On Track To Contend In 2016

Posted in Baseball at 4:40 pm by

After announcing the selection of former Padres skipper Bud Black as the successor to the recently canned Matt Williams, the Washington Nationals failed to come to terms with Black and on Wednesday, unveiled former Giants/Cubs/Reds manager Dusty Baker (above) as the franchise’s 7th man to hold that position.  Recalling the club’s treatment of Jim Riggleman, as well as suggesting GM Mike Rizzo is in a somewhat impossible position, the Washington Post’s Adam Kilgore declares the Lerner family, “still lack an understanding of how to treat people within their industry” (“they became wealthy owning shopping malls, and if they walked into one of the stores housed inside a palace in Tysons Corner seeking to buy an item, they would have to pay the listed price. They somehow have failed to grasp the same principle applies to Major League Baseball”).

The Nationals decided on Black last Wednesday. Negotiations commenced. The first offer the Nationals made Black, a manager fresh off an eight-year stint with the San Diego Padres, would have guaranteed him $1.6 million for one season. It left Black “deeply offended,” according to one person familiar with the situation. In the end, the Lerners would not exceed an offer of two years with multiple team options. By Saturday, talks had crumbled. They didn’t get their man, because they insulted him.

For context, Don Mattingly – a manager with more division titles but less experience than Black – signed a four-year contract with the Miami Marlins. The Lerners made Jeffrey Loria appear decisive and considerate.

The contract length matters for financial reasons, of course. It also allows a manager to do his job. With two years guaranteed – or one – handling a clubhouse of unfamiliar personalities would have been untenable. The first step is to gain credibility and respect, and that kind of contract prevents it. It forces a manager to look over his shoulder and defend himself rather than protect and motivate players. It breeds dysfunction.


BOO FUCKING HOO DEPT : Mets Team I Picked To Lose 90 Games “Only” Won An NL Championship

Posted in Baseball at 3:54 pm by


I was kinda hoping, before this “we’re-just-lucky-to-be-here” postseason began that I might finally be blasé enough to deal with eventual (inevitable) disappointment. But buoyed by Washington’s utter collapse, Sandy Alderson’s late-season acquisitions, a thrilling defeat of L.A. in the NLDS and a sweep of the Cubs in the NLCS, well, wouldn’t you know it, I was totally set up for a World Series even more exasperating than the last one the Mets participated in.

I’m glum but cannot deny KC are a far superior team, one with few discernable weaknesses. But it obviously sucks to have 2 leads blown in the 9th, one in the 8th over the course of 5 games (and you can only really fault Familia for Alex Gordon’s tying HR in Game One). Terry Collins was seriously outmanaged but it comes down to the players executing, too. While rookies like Michael Conforto and Steven Matz excelled, monumental gaffes were made by veterans like Yeonis Cespedes, Daniel Murphy, and finally last night, Lucas Duda.

At first glance there didn’t appear to be a ton separating the teams, but KC has a far deeper pen, and they fact they were able to run on Travis d’Anraud at will was pretty big, too. In a tight game, (mostly) being shut down by opposing pitching, the Mets were far less likely to manufacture something out of little or nothing, and while Curtis Granderson and Conforto showed power, the failure of Murphy or Cespedes to do likewise made a big difference. Hard to say how seriously injured golf enthusiast Cespedes was going into the series, but full credit to the Royals for having an effective means of dealing with Murphy.

The Mets bench, Lagares aside, contributed almost nothing (hope you enjoyed your excellent vantage point, Michael Cuddyer). That KC got something out of Paulo Orlando, Christian Colon, Jerrod Dyson,could use Morales as a PH in NY, etc., all helped to make Ned Yost look just a little smarter than Terry Collins.

Though Terry contributed to that perception, too. I can’t blame him for Cespedes or Murphy’s errors, but everything went wrong in his handling of the pen.
The 4 out save-that-wasn’t for Familia in Game One,
putting Familia into a blowout in Game 3 for no apparent reason, then calling on him to get 5 outs in Game 4, inserting the closer into Game 5 with the tying run on second when he could’ve begun the inning with the bases clear where it not for the capitulation to Harvey.

Familia told reporters last night that it’s his job to get a ground ball on the first pitch. Given the element of risk, maybe it would be better if his job was to blow the hitter away? In Game 5, Collins inexplicably caved to Matt Harvey’s demand to start the 9th, then kept him in after allowing a lead off walk to Lorenzo Cain, finally proceding to bring in Familia with zero margin to screw up after Hosmer’s tying double.

Would it have been a great story for Matt Harvey to get a complete game shutout? Sure. But with the season on the line, Collins chose Harvey’s ego over the higher percentage play, and that’s just ridiculous. No one should criticize Harvey for wanting the ball, but a 66 year old manager should be smart enough to say, “this is about keeping the season alive, not about your personal redemption”.

There was a lotta talk last night about Hosmer being lucky, that a routine throw nails him in the 9th, ending the game. All true enough, but he forced a subpar defensive 1B in Lucas Duda to make a play under pressure.
Many have insisted a good throw gets Hosmer. Alright, but, sans google, name one single instance where Duda’s made a great throw from home to first to end a game, let alone with his club facing elimination? Is it impossible to acknowledge that Duda is not exactly the second coming of Keith Hernandez in the field?

The Mets came painfully close to winning all 3 games they lost. Without taking anything away from the Royals, the Amazins’ inability to get that 27th out when holding a late lead really does say a ton about their maturity, poise under pressure, and yeah, what kind of preparation was in place under the stewardship of Collins and his coaching staff.

All of that said, there’s much to look forward from the core of Harvey/deGrom/Syndergaard/Matz (not to mention a recovering Zach Wheeler) and while it hurts like fuck all to watch the Royals celebrating on the field in Flushing, at least we’re spared the gruesome visage of who-sucks-more,  Jim Breuer and Jeff Wilpon celebrating together or individually. If you can devise a way to shoot one or both into outer space, I might even continue to turn a blind eye to Josh Lewin’s suspicious resemblance to Billy McKay from “The Days Of The Week”.


Tiger’s Ex-Caddy, Not Down With Slavery OR Gobbing

Posted in Golf at 4:20 pm by

In what might be the most hotly anticipated book by a celebrated hanger-on since Cutter Brandenburg’s “You Can’t Stop A Comet”, Tiger Woods’ ex-caddie Steve “Don’t Call Me Dr. Death” Williams’ new book, “Out Of The Rough” has been excepted and it seems there’s serious hard feelings about toiling for the former World No. 1. From The Guardian’s Ewan Murray :

“I was adamant that some of his behaviour on the course had to change. He was well known for his bad temper and, while that wasn’t pleasant to witness, you could live with it because it ended as quickly as it started. But he had other bad habits that upset me. I wanted him to prove to me he could change his behaviour and show me‚ and the game of golf, more respect.

“One thing that really pissed me off was how he would flippantly toss a club in the general direction of the bag, expecting me to go over and pick it up. I felt uneasy about bending down to pick up his discarded club, it was like I was his slave. The other thing that disgusted me was his habit of spitting at the hole if he missed a putt.”

The New Zealander, who took time away from golf to write the book before returning to work for Adam Scott, took a dim view of Woods’s affairs.

“I didn’t have any sympathy for him over what he’d done,” Williams says. “I believe you’re in charge of your own actions and I have no sympathy for people who get addicted to drugs or gambling or sex. People make choices in their lives and he had chosen to do this. But I did have sympathy for the way he’d had to suffer in front of the world when others would have been able to sort out their mess in private.”


If The Mets & MLB Won’t Do Anything To Stop This Shamless Electioneering…

Posted in Baseball, politics at 10:51 pm by

…then nobody’s gonna get in the way of my “BOBBY SOXX 2016″ placard tomorrow night!

The End Of Not One Austin Institution, But Two

Posted in Austin, record collector disease at 5:10 pm by

The above Yelp review from 2012 referencing a Youthful Masturbation Techniques performance at Trailer Space reminds me that we’re saying g’bye to Trailer Space and Johnathan Cash on the same weekend. The performance in question, much like the host venue, was greatly misinterpreted (maybe they don’t stock fluffernutter in this part of the country, I don’t really know). Anyone with eyes and ears and half a brain could tell you that Trailer Space was not a haven for animal cruelty (quite the opposite, as several dogs would testify if allowed) just as Mr. Cash (as the New York Times will someday call him) will go down in history/flames as one of this city’s premier provocateurs.

Austin = not dead. not even on life support. But some folks are leaving big shoes to fill.


Mets Denied Opportunity Of Blaming Gov. Cuomo For Jinxing 2015 World Series

Posted in Baseball, New York, New York, politics at 10:05 pm by

(T.C., just relieved he’s not meeting Jim Breuer)

Full credit to Mets ownership ; they’ve somehow managed to take the heat off David Wright. The New York Times’ Jesse McKinley reports New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has scrapped plans to hold a pair of $5,500-a-head fund-raisers in the Citi Field parking lot this weekend :

The $5,500 price tag — the equivalent of about 850 hot dogs on an average night at Citi Field — included a pregame reception with the governor, who earlier this week used a private jet with the Mets owners, Fred and Jeff Wilpon, to attend the first game of the Series in Kansas City, Mo. (The Mets lost in 14 innings, and the governor’s Albany press office said Mr. Cuomo, a Democrat, stayed until the end and would reimburse the cost of the flight at “fair market value.”)

As for the fund-raisers, Mr. Cuomo’s campaign said that the cancellation was a result of “overwhelming demand for tickets,” and that aides had decided to “reschedule this weekend’s events to a future date so that more tickets are available.” When such a fund-raiser would take place is uncertain, but the campaign said it would not be during the Series, in which the Mets — who are making their first appearance in the Fall Classic since 2000 — trail two games to none.


Former Vikes Punter To SXSW : You’re Cowards

Posted in Austin, Gridiron, South By Suck Off, Technical Difficulties, Video Games at 5:54 pm by

As you’ve probably read elsewhere, SXSW Interactive, in their infinite wisdom, opted to pull the plug on a pair of scheduled panels — one of ‘em titled, “Level Up: Overcoming Harassment In Games” — citing safety concerns after receiving threats. If you think this sounds an awful lot like kowtowing to (mountain dew guzzling, fedora-wearing) terrorists, you’re not alone. The shy, retiring Chris Kluwe has joined the fray via The Cauldron :

First off, the panel was not on Gamergate, did not mention Gamergate, and the only tangential relation it had with Gamergate was that the odorous denizens of that particular hashtag have made it their mission to try and ruin the lives of the women involved in the panel (among others). The fact you felt the need to connect it to Gamergate shows quite clearly where the pressure to silence these voices came from.

Second, and perhaps more pertinently, you run a festival that features A-list celebrities and tech magnates worth collective billions, superstar athletes, and some of the biggest music acts in the world, and you’re telling me you can’t provide security for a panel of three women? That it’s beyond your resources to hire any sort of police presence when you shut down entire sections of Austin at a time? That the unceasing vitriol these brave individuals face on a daily basis is just too much for your tender feelings to deal with, when you’ve experienced the merest fraction of that torrent of filth they’re forced to endure?

You disgust me. Your selfish weakness sickens me. Your puling bleats of golden mean fallacies fills my stomach with such nauseous rage that an entire continent of antacid tablets would be insufficient to quell the depths of my contempt for you.

What you did, what you’re doing, is providing the blueprint for harassers and hatemongers as to how they win. From this point forward, any fringe group of spiteful lunatics can point to this moment and say, “We will silence the voices of anyone we dislike at SXSW, any view we disagree with, because we know the mewling slugs in charge have not the backbone to stop us. All we need to do is confront them with our vileness, and they will fold.”

Stewart Klein : A Possible Cure For The Ineptitude Of Michael Cuddyer

Posted in Baseball at 5:14 pm by

Video clip courtesy Jon Solomon.


Shame On You, Lenny Dykstra….

Posted in Baseball, Sports Radio at 4:30 pm by


…because of the ridiculous claims below, I can no longer pretend I do not know that your fellow bro-troll Colin Cowherd has a new radio program.

From the New York Post’s Brian Sage :

The former Met (Dykstra) told Fox’s Colin Cowherd that – in his effort to get a huge contract – he spent $500,000 to hire private investigators to turn up dirt on Major League Baseball umpires, and then used that intel to coerce them into giving him a favorable strike zone.

“I said I need the umpires, [so] what do I do? I just pulled out half a million bucks and hired a private investigate team to follow them,’’ said Dykstra, who won the 1986 World Series with the Mets.

“Their blood is just a red as ours. Some of them like women, some of them like men, some of them gamble, some of them do whatever.’’

Yes, because Nails is the single most credible person on earth.


Royals Owner David Glass : One Reporter Barred For Every AL Crown

Posted in Baseball, Sports Journalism at 10:01 pm by

“In 14 seasons between 1999 and 2012,” writes MLB.com’s Richard Justice, “the Royals lost 90 or more games 11 times.”  Despite this record of futility, Justice has ample praise for Royals owner/former Wal-Mart chief executive David Glass and GM Dayton Moore, crediting the former with allowing the latter’s homegrown talent to fully mature (while spending relatively little in the process).  It’s a pretty glowing assessment of the Royals organization (“every franchise hoping to turn this kind of corner could learn from how Glass and his staff have done things”) and if you pretty much ignore how K.C.’s rebuild took more than twice as long as that of the Mets, it’s hard to argue with. Especially because arguing can cost you press credentials at Kaufman Stadium.  From ESPN.com, June 10, 2006 :

Two reporters who asked contentious questions at a news conference introducing Dayton Moore as Royals general manager had their credentials revoked Friday.

Bob Fescoe of WHB and Rhonda Moss of KCSP, competing sports-talk radio stations in Kansas City, said they were informed by public relations director Aaron Babcock that their credentials were taken away.

“David Witty, the Royals vice president for communications and marketing, said the credentials were withdrawn for the remainder of the season. He declined further comment when reached by The Associated Press.

“All I can say is their credentials were revoked. That’s all I will say,” Witty told the AP.

At the news conference Thursday, the two grilled owner David Glass on the way he handled the dismissal of former general manager Allard Baird.

Glass appeared to become irritated and told Moss at one point that her assessment of the situation was “completely wrong.”

Moss has covered the Royals for KCSP for almost three years. Also during the news conference, she appeared to rankle Dan Glass, the team president and owner’s son, when she asked him what his role was in running the baseball operations.

Somebody In Cleveland Remembers Tim Couch, Just Not Fondly

Posted in Gridiron, Halloween at 6:36 pm by

Cleveland 19 News|Cleveland, OH|News, Weather, Sports

Video courtesy Cleveland’s WOIO. Nice of the neighbors to offer extra yard space — I don’t see Seneca Wallace here.


Curtis Granderson’s Leadership Skills Extend To Deeply Embarrassing Lucas Duda

Posted in Baseball at 7:59 pm by

TBT to when Lucas was a cowboy

A photo posted by Lucas Duda (@wefollowlucasduda) on

Even in the midst of a remarkable run of good fortune for the New York Mets, I do tend to focus on the distasteful elements surrounding the club, so it’s a good thing the New York Times’ Tim Rohan clocked in with a (gulp) charming portrait of the friendship between Curtis Granderson and Lucas Duda. Unbeknownst to me (because I’m, y’know, not 13 years old) the former is responsible for the Instagram account, @wefollowlucasduda, because the latter is just too darn shy.

Duda fuels the body after an oppo home run today…photo cred @jmayberry44

A photo posted by Lucas Duda (@wefollowlucasduda) on

For three months, Granderson had been taking pictures and videos of Duda without his permission and then posting them. Granderson started it in July, along with his teammates John Mayberry Jr. and Danny Muno, because they thought that Duda was popular enough and should have one. The unusually quiet and private Duda disagreed.

The account started innocently enough, with photos of Duda putting on his uniform, Duda eating a salad, Duda napping in the clubhouse, Duda wearing sunglasses on a plane, Duda at his high school graduation, Duda wearing a cowboy hat, Duda smiling with a bouquet. One picture, of Duda grabbing a slice of cake, had the caption “The key to homers is red velvet.”

When he is struggling at the plate, Duda likes to be left alone, which is perhaps why he became annoyed when Granderson started taking videos of him. Granderson filmed Duda in the batting cage, playing with his glove at his locker stall, eating peach cobbler in the lunchroom. Granderson usually added a bit of comedy by narrating the videos as if he were a wildlife expert who had just come upon an exotic animal in its natural habitat.