From The Vault (Someone Else’s) : 21-645

Posted in History's Not Happening, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 6:06 pm by


Glendenning On Everton’s Flying Dildo Of Death

Posted in Football, Sports TV at 11:00 pm by

Sky Sports’ Alan Irwin’s attempts at providing transfer deadline reportage took a bit of a hit Monday, specifically a blow to the head in the form of a purple dildo. The Guardian’s Barry Glendenning witnessed the attack, writing, “if we’d known that’s all you had to do to wring cheap schoolboy giggles out of an audience of football enthusiasts, it would have saved us an awful lot of effort down the years.”

“Millions of viewers followed our coverage of transfer deadline day, which included over 270 live reporter updates from outside football clubs over the final 24 hours,” said a Sky Sports statement you could kind of tell was hoping to divert attention towards the 269 live reports that didn’t feature a fearsome looking bedroom aid. “We apologise to those whose enjoyment was spoiled by a small number of incidents and we’re looking into ways to avoid this happening again in the future whilst ensuring fans remain a key part our live coverage.”

While the Fiver can appreciate that having their put-upon reporters surrounded by gurning delinquents shouting abuse and making rude hand gestures only enhances the Sky Sports News deadline day party for viewers, one way “to avoid this happening again” might be to ask football clubs to set aside a wee corral inside their stadia or training grounds so the poor sods can go about their thankless task safe in the knowledge that the next loon to attack one of them won’t be brandishing something steelier, sharper and even more penetrative than that purple monstrosity. Indeed, it seems they’ve already done that but the clubs in question have declined to co-operate on the perfectly understandable grounds that they’d rather the Sky troops weren’t deployed anywhere near their stadia and training grounds on deadline day at all.

Nevermind, Indeed

Posted in non-sporting journalism, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 9:31 pm by

From time to time, The A/V Club quizzes musicians of varying degrees of repute about their least favorite song. Previous entries have included the late Oderus Urungus of GWAR on Billy Ocean’s “Get Out Of My Dreams (& Into My Car)” and John Vanderslice on the only Third Eye Blind song anyone can remember. Matters took a turn for the turgid this Tuesday, however, when the celeb subject was Max Bemis of the thoroughly feckless Say Anything. The song he’s got a problem with? Nirvana’s “Rape Me”.

The A.V. Club: So, why did you pick “Rape Me”?

Max Bemis: There’s two facets to why I picked that song. One is that it’s my least favorite Nirvana song. I also just straight-up don’t like it as a song.

The backstory is that Nirvana is one of my favorite bands, as one might imagine. I mean, they’re everybody’s favorite band. I think it would be very rare to find someone who wouldn’t say Nirvana’s an incredible band. But “Rape Me” is my least favorite Nirvana song and also my least favorite song of that era. It’s my least favorite grunge song—it’s my least favorite of many, many different genres and subsets of music. And the structure, the lyrics, the production, everything—I don’t like. I just don’t like it. Nevermind came out and changed my life. And when this came out off In Utero, I was really disappointed.

Sonically and musically, this song annoys me. Lyrically, it’s vapid. And then on another level, it annoys me because, as someone who makes music and someone who admires Kurt Cobain as one of the greater songwriters and musicians of our time—to me, it’s the prime example of a musician feeding into or just being overly influenced by success, even if his knee-jerk reaction is to write a song like “Rape Me,” where it’s railing against his success. He probably wouldn’t have written the song if it wasn’t for becoming this unlikely icon. And so, clearly, he wrote the song to be a punk rock song about, like, “Fuck the fact that I’m a celebrity and screw the fact that the man has co-opted Nirvana.”

AVC: But it was written before Nevermind even came out.

MB: Is that true?!


Bonkers From Yonkers On Sam’s Setback : God 1, Sodomites 0

Posted in Blogged Down, Gridiron, Hate Fuck Radio, Sports Radio at 11:40 pm by

That former Sirius/XM sports yapper / paragon of hate fuckery Dino Costa might not have the most enlightened take on the St. Louis Rams cutting rookie DE Michael Sam is not a big surprise, especially if you recall Costa’s hysterical reaction to a minor display of affection between two adult males.  Still, freed from the constraints of corporate employers, any advertisers and relying upon a smattering of podcast subscribers/acolytes, Costa can raise a 7th round draft pick’s poor job prospects to something akin to a battle between good and evil. In Dino’s view, Michael Sam is “representative of a movement, an agenda, a mafia like army of people who are hell-bent on capsizing the ways of God ordained, traditional, normal, every day life,” and if you’re not opposed to this alleged movement, “you ought go and have a conversation with God about it.”

Michael Sam represented a way of life, and a lifestyle, that data clearly shows causes and spreads disgusting diseases, and in many cases is a lifestyle that causes the death and destruction of individuals and often times entire families.

The above sentence is inarguable to anyone seeking to debate me on this issue utilizing factual information.

Mike Sam was the latest to lead this brainwashing revolution that too many people have been buying into (not that they have a choice) – and his ascent to the roster of an NFL team would have been a significant symbolic marker to those who are rabidly involved in the movement of psychologically coercing and intimidating people into buying all in – or else.

Sam’s place on an NFL roster would be much more than that – it would be viewed by the Homosexual community as proof positive that a sodomite lifestyle could mesh seamlessly within the culture of an NFL locker room and the greater NFL community.

Sam, writes Costa, “was expected and counted upon to lead a modern age revolution that would have punctured one of the last remaining areas of society yet to be polluted by the kind of unnatural lifestyle he leads.” To laugh at loud at such declarations, is in Dino’s opinion, an example of “Christaphobia” ; he actually claims that during Tim Tebow’s NFL tenue, the pious QB “was greeted with less than enthusiastic fanfare from the majority of those covering the NFL for a living.” Who knew ESPN was so hard to get in Wyoming?

As far as Costa’s Fear Of A Sodomite Planet is concerned, the good people at Websters define sodomy as “anal or oral intercourse between human beings.” With that in mind, I think it’s a pretty fair bet that practitioners of such acts infiltrated NFL locker rooms — if not everywhere else — a very long time ago.

Why Use A Shovel When There’s A Bulldozer With Richard Justice’s Name On It? Houston’s Burial Of Bo Porter

Posted in Baseball at 10:45 pm by

With an MLB-low team payroll of $44 million, you might think Astros skipper Bo Porter, he of the 110-190 record, would be cut a little slack.  Porter, relieved of his duties as Houston manager Monday morning, was widely rumored to be at odds with GM Jeff Luhnow , but not until today’s report by former Houston Chronicle baseball scribe Richard Justice, was the full extent of Luhnow’s frustration detailed (“he didn’t dismiss Porter for losing too many baseball games. He dismissed him because he no longer respected Porter’s leadership skills and his ability to be a team player in the organization”) From MLB.com :

Porter had the walls papered with motivational sayings and placed mirrors in each locker to remind players to look at themselves first before blaming a teammate. He had players turn their chairs away from their lockers, his way of telling them to look forward.

If he’d been managing a Little League team, that stuff might have played well. Adults? Not so much. When one coach left the big league staff, he went directly to Luhnow and said, “You had better get that guy away from your young players.”


Miami Herald To FIU : We’ll Decide Who’s Covering Your (Shitty) Football Team, Thanks

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron, Sports Journalism at 2:51 pm by

(FIU’s head of reporter banning, Pete Garcia)

In recent years, Florida International University has made CSTB headlines for incidents including, but not limited to Isiah Thomas’ unsuccessful head coaching tenure, and ex-CNN anchorman Rick Sanchez’ awkward debut as a color analyst for the school’s football team.  Said squad, coming off a 1-11 2013 season under Ron Turner, will not be covered this season by the Miami Herald’s David J. Neil. as the school as refused to issue the reporter media credentials.  In response, the Herald announced they were skipping FIU’s home opener, a 14-12 defeat to Bethune-Cookman yesterday afternoon.  From the Herald’s Linda Robertson :

No explanation was given by FIU, but Neal’s access to FIU coaches and athletes had been dwindling for months, to the point where he was no longer permitted to attend football practice or conduct interviews. Last week, when Neal attempted to write a story on the FIU women’s soccer team, he was told no one was allowed to talk to him.

“It’s unprecedented for any local team to refuse to credential our beat reporter without reason,” Miami Herald Executive Editor Aminda Marqués Gonzalez said of the four pro and two college teams the Herald covers on a regular basis. “The team does not get to choose who covers the program.”

Sandra Gonzalez-Levy, FIU’s senior vice president for external relations, said it was unfortunate that the Herald would not staff FIU’s game against Bethune-Cookman University at FIU Stadium on campus.

“We’re very disappointed the Herald has decided on this course,” she said. “Credentials were given to other reporters. We regret that this is the Herald’s choice.”

The ban on Neal was imposed without an explanation from Pete Garcia, FIU’s athletic director and executive director of sports and entertainment.  Garcia received an email Monday from Herald Managing Editor Rick Hirsch inquiring about “evidence of unprofessional treatment” of Neal. Previously, Herald Executive Sports Editor Jorge Rojas also sought an explanation for FIU’s actions, with no response from Garcia. On Wednesday, FIU denied the Herald’s request for Neal’s credential.

Coming Soon To A Stage (That Probably Isn’t Anywhere Near You) : ““I Am Stephon Marbury”

Posted in Basketball at 11:30 am by

Who amongst us hasn’t woken up one Sunday morning and thought, “if only there were a Chinese a sports-themed youth theater event telling the story of Coney Island’s U-Stream fixture turned Beijing Ducks MVP Stephon Marbury”? If you’re the only person on earth who meets that description, you’ll be thrilled to know “China’s first fusion of sports, music, dance and multimedia”, “I Am Stephon Marbury” opens in Bejing this fall. According to the New York Times’ Becky Davis, the show “plans to feature the Chinese Basketball Association’s top cheerleading squad and performers trained to do various basketball tricks. According to the website, other celebrities will make surprise appearances on stage, including Yao Ming.” Please note, however, Marc Berman is not considered a celebrity.

The play, which will run for 11 consecutive nights, centers on the idea that Marbury is a successful Beijing vagabond, or beipiao — a Chinese term typically used to refer to the millions of migrant workers who flock to the capital in search of employment without official Beijing residence permits. The plot follows the story of a musician, a beipiao himself, who arrives in Beijing in search of fame and is inspired to beat the odds by watching Marbury lead the Ducks to their first-ever championship during the 2011-12 season.

Despite its title, the play isn’t a straight biographical account of Marbury’s life, but rather a parable about pursuing one’s dreams. Though Marbury will play himself in the production, the show’s official site warns that he will appear only in a limited number of scenes because of his inexperience with acting and inability to speak Mandarin.


MetsBlog’s Cerrone Predicts The TIcking Time Bomb That Is Wally Backman Will Not Go Off In Queens

Posted in Baseball at 2:34 pm by

Las Vegas 51′s skipper Wally Backman was named Pacific Coast League Manager Of The Year yesterday, a fitting honor given the former Mets 2B had led the Amazins’ Triple A affiliate to their second consecutive Division titles.  Said news will undoubtedly fan the flames for those who’d just as soon see Backman unseat Terry Collins as the parent club’s manager, but along with warning there’s little or no chance of it happening, MetsBlog’s Matthew Cerrone vaguely alludes to Wally’s notorious temper (“he’d be great between the lines when the game is going on. In fact, I’m not sure anyone will be better…I worry how he’ll do in the time before and after the game, specifically in regards to the media”)

The reality is, like it or not, New York managers have to talk to reporters twice a day – and a lot more if you consider all the sidebar, off-record discussions that occur anywhere they can. My fear is that he’ll divide the clubhouse more than he’ll motivate and unite it. This might also be an issue if he’s bench coach, by the way.

I think his message will work at first, but could so easily turn south if the team doesn’t do well, and depending on the talent that could be beyond his control. I love our local reporters and media, they’re great at what they do; but that’s the problem, they’re great at what they do. I can totally see him saying things, on record, off record, building walls, isolating people, taking shots at people above and below and – even if those comments are justified and accurate – it will spin out on control in way that, unless he’s really, really good at damage control, will create a bigger circus than already exists at Citi Field.

That said, it would be fun to watch.

First Person To Say “David Wells Had Quite A Mouth On Him” Is Banned

Posted in Free Expression, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 2:14 pm by

Had he not succumbed to a lifetime of self-abuse, American poet laureate GG Allin would’ve turned 58 years old yesterday.  With that occasion in mind, let’s recall the classic moment in local TV history when investigative maven Bill Proctor attempted to make-sense-of-it-all, with the help of an expert of panel of budding young scumfucs in Farmington Hills, MI.


Zirin : Goodell’s New Domestic Violence Policy Is Equal Parts Late, Arbtirary

Posted in "Wife Beater" Is Not A Fashion Statement, Gridiron at 6:01 pm by

After being pilloried for the minor punishment meted out to Ravens RB Ray Rice, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell (above) is now pledging a 6 month ban for “violations of the Personal Conduct Policy regarding assault, battery, domestic violence or sexual assault that involve physical force.”  While Goodell works overtime to change the narrative — he’s not enabling wife beaters, he’s stopping ‘em! —- The Nation’s ever skeptical Dave Zirin declares, “taking moral guidance from the NFL is like being lectured about diplomacy by Benjamin Netanyahu.”

This is a commissioner who talks on and on about his concern for the health and safety of players while trying to extend the season to 18 games. This is a commissioner who has pledged to penalize players for using on-field slurs yet defends the name of one of his billion dollar brands, a dictionary-defined slur. This is a commissioner who talks about how much the NFL cares about communities while demanding hundreds of millions of dollars in taxpayer subsidies for billionaires while our schools and hospitals remain in disrepair. This is a commissioner desperate to increase his marketshare among women football fans and who believes that coming down hard on domestic violence is the way to do it.

As for the plan itself, the best part, as Jessica Luther has written, is that the NFL has pledged to spend much more time and energy at rookie and player orientations to actually discuss domestic violence. This is important. I’ve been to rookie orientation sessions and when women are discussed, if discussed at all, they are talked about as people who players should look at as predators trying to get pregnant or always ready to falsely accuse players of sexual assault. The discussions are how to avoid such situations. Any efforts to discuss women with young players as actual human beings should be welcomed. Luther talks about other initiatives aimed at education and awareness which hopefully will actually be implemented.

But the section of the new conduct policy that is far more problematic is what we could call the carceral part. Roger Goodell has decided to place the passing of judgment of domestic violence completely under his own power as Commissioner without any input from the NFL Players Association. It now resides beneath the umbrella of the NFL’s personal conduct policy. That means Goodell has total control as judge, jury and executioner over punishment on the basis of his assessment of what happened in a family’s personal life.

Adam Jones Denies Channeling Aubrey Huff, Dissing Charm City

Posted in Baseball at 1:58 pm by

Though not nearly as sensational as the story out of Boise about Jesus Montero throwing ice cream sandwiches at a mouthy tormentor (who was on the Mariners payroll),  Orioles OF Adam Jones found himself in a different body of hot water after some ill-advised remarks at something or other called “Social Media Night” at Camden Yards.  From the Baltimore Sun’s Jon Meoli and Dan Connolly :

Jones irked some fans in attendance with short responses during the question-and-answer session, and he earned especially negative attention for saying his favorite place in Baltimore was the airport so he could fly home.

After the game, Jones said he was joking, adding that he likes the airport because it’s where he picks up his friends and family who come to visit and support him.

“I guess my shtick wasn’t appreciated at the time,” Jones said. “But I had a good time. I’ll do it again, and I probably should do it again.”

“I wish I had more time,” Jones said. “I wish we could do it at 4 o’clock or something, where I have ample time to give everybody my best. It just ran close to the game, so it was a rushed event. But I definitely would do it again and give people a better showing.”

Jones called comparisons to Aubrey Huff’s complaints about Baltimore, “absurd”, and fair enough, it’s not like he said anything bad about the airport.


Michael Vick : The Great Defender Of N-Bomb Tossing Kenny Chesney Fans

Posted in Gridiron at 4:47 pm by

When smartphone footage surfaced last year of Eagles WR Riley Cooper racially abusing a security guard at a Kenny Chesney stadium show, rushing to Cooper’s defense was not a fashionable thing to do (least of all because Kenny Chesney totally sucks).  Cooper’s cred in the Philly locker room took an temporary hit, but former Eagles QB Michael Vick — no stranger to being judged (for murdering dozens of innocent dogs) — tells ESPN.com’s Ian O’Connor  that he singlehandedly saved a guy the journalist calls,  “a marginal white player whose production (an average of 15.3 receptions and 226.3 yards per year over his first three seasons suggested he wasn’t worth the trouble.”

“I stood in front of the team,” Vick said. “I stood in front of the cameras and defused that whole situation.”

Vick knew there would be a price to pay for assuming the role of Cooper’s human shield.

“Guys were mad at me for a while,” he said of fellow Eagles. “They were upset with me for a day or two, like six or seven guys who were just like, ‘Really, how could you do that?’ And then I’m getting phone calls from people everywhere, and my Twitter page is kind of in an uproar. But I took that stand for him, man, and I just hope at the end of the day that he appreciates that.

“I just hope he’s [appreciative] of my boldness to step out in front of the world and say what I said, and he appreciates what I did and understands the magnitude of it, because nobody else was going to step up and say anything. I could’ve said the same thing that 25 of my teammates were saying, and there was built-up anger.”

“A couple of things transpired since [the incident] that I dislike, and I’ll be honest with you,” Vick said. “After he signed his contract, I sent him a text and I never got a text back, and that made me feel a certain type of way. But I’m not the type of guy who holds grudges.”

“They might not have forgotten about it, but they forgave him,” Vick said. “We had guys talking about knocking him out, taking his head off, doing X, Y and Z to him on the field, and none of that happened, out of respect for myself, I think.”

Vick neglects to mention, sadly, that one of the persons talking about knocking Cooper out, taking his head off, doing X, Y and Z to him on the field was his younger brother.

CSTB’s Greatest Hits (?) : Remembering A Classic Moment In Vandalism History

Posted in Austin, Internal Affairs, Rock Und Roll, Tourism at 2:12 pm by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : yesterday marked the 24th anniversary of the death of guitar virtuoso Stevie Ray Vaughn. In keeping with memorial notices around the world, your  favorite barely extant blog is republishing the following entry from December 24, 2005, “Stevie Ray Vandalized”, though you might want to visit the original to revisit some of the pithy reader commentary – GC)

Time-Warner Cable’s News 8 was on the spot early this morning, spicing up an otherwise slow local news day with the story of the 8 foot statue of Stevie Ray Vaughn being defaced.

A local correspondent who will remain nameless (in case he or she ever wants to do the weather at News 8 ) comments below :

Subject: My new hero(es)
Body: Some beautiful person and/or persons defaced the Stevie Ray Vaughn statue at Town Lake in Austin last night.

This ugly, overbearing, bronze statue has been a blistering eyesore for the tasteful masses for years now. News 8 (Time Warner’s sad 24 hour news station) covered it early this morning, revealing that the word “POSER” was painted on the front, “See you in Hell” at the base, and some unnamed profanity on the reverse. Some passerbys’ quotes include a woman in her late 40s with fashionable jogging gear: “I’m an artist, too, and I appreciate what that is, and everyone does, and — well — obviously some don’t.” (Um, what “real” “artist” is jogging at 8am?) An even older fellow, looking very confused: “I don’t know what they’re protesting against.” (I would wager that they were drunkenly protesting against mediocre, Hendrix nutsack-swinging, drug-fueled GARBAGE that is pervasively revered by the small “c” local celebrities who speak for Austin.) And finally, a random, ugly, bearded tourist from Florida: “No respect for the dead…All he did was make good music and make people happy.” (Many people take exception to this — people like myself, who, as a sign shop employee, was forced to hear his poisonous aural carrion day after fucking day on KLBJ-FM.)

I’m not glad the motherfucker’s dead, but bitches, please, this is the most overrated guitar player of all time, a product of a pissant city that thinks so highly of itself to call itself the “Live Music Capitol of the World.” His wanky, artless garbage encouraged many other morons to pick up an axe and continue the suffering he started, and make places like Antone’s be able to book filth like this 7 nights a week.

I love the Blues. I love these drunks who did this in the middle of the night. I love News 8 Austin for getting their cameras down there to shoot and record it before the City sent out their underpaid minions to wash it off around 10am. It shall live in eternity on my DVR (until I get it burned to DVD, at least).

This shall be the best Christkkkmas ever. My heart races with joy.

Yost : The (Invisible) Customer Is Always Wrong

Posted in Baseball at 2:23 am by

As you’ve probably read elsewhere, Kansas City’s dramatic 2-1 home win over Minnesota Tuesday night was played in front of a sparse (13K and change) crowd, a factoid that didn’t escape the notice of Royals skipper Ned Yost (“we’ve been working on trying to build this team for the last three or four years to put ourselves in a position where we can contend for a championship,”). In the view of the KC Star’s Sam Mellinger — not above reminding his readers of how Yost shit the bed down the stretch in Milwaukee (“a manager fired six years ago with 12 games left and his team holding a playoff spot at least in part because he wasn’t handling pressure well might not want to pick unnecessary fights with fans after the best win of the season”) this was “a stupid thing to say on so many levels”.

Yost must not understand how silly and out of touch he sounds when he talks about “trying to build this team for the last three or four years.”

Many of the people who spent their money and time to watch Yost’s team on Tuesday night have been around for 10 years. Twenty. Twenty-five. And only the ones old enough (and young enough, come to think of it) to remember 29 years ago have had their loyalty and passion repaid with even a sniff of a playoff appearance.

All due respect to Yost’s three or four years of hard work, but the fans he’s talking down to had their hearts broken long before he came here and will be here long after he’s gone.

Maybe he should give them some slack if a great five weeks of baseball hasn’t swayed a generation of stink just yet.


Jose Offerman Is Not Quite Ready To Pay Up

Posted in Baseball, The Law at 6:24 pm by

Weeks after former Bridgeport Bluefish C John Nathan won a $940,000 USD judgement against Long Island Ducks IF Jose Offerman stemming from the latter’s 2007 attack on the former during an Atlantic League game, the AP reports the 15 year major league veteran is appealing the decision.

A jury last month awarded the money to former Bridgeport Bluefish catcher Johnathan Nathans, who says he suffered career-ending injuries when Offerman hit him in the head with a bat. Photos show a bat-wielding Offerman charging the mound after being hit by a pitch. But he denies swinging it at anybody.

Offerman’s lawyers argue in court papers filed Tuesday that the jury improperly found his client liable for assault because he charged the mound, after determining he was not guilty of battery on the catcher.

Nathan’s lawyers also are appealing, seeking damages from the Long Island Ducks, for whom Offerman was playing.

Can’t Wait To See What They’ve Got Planned For Halloween

Posted in Fashion, Genocidal Tendencies, The Marketplace at 5:58 pm by

The Connecticut Post’s Amy Graff reports clothing retailer Zara has taken a children’s pajama top off their shelves after someone pointed out, y’know, it kinda looked like a concentration camp uniform.

The Wild West-inspired top was meant to look like a sheriff’s uniform with dark horizontal stripes and a bright yellow star over the right breast. In fact, the word “sheriff” is emblazoned across the star, but in online images the title isn’t visible. Outraged Twitter users pointed out that the six-point star looked like the Star of David and the blue-and-white horizontal stripes resembled those on Holocaust prison wear — even though concentration camp uniform stripes were vertical.

After a social media explosion, the Spanish retailer with outlets throughout the world ditched the shirt and released an apology.

The top’s availability earlier this week is uncertain but many news sites are reporting that it was sold on a number of International sites including those selling to customers in Albania, Denmark, France, Israel, Sweden and the UK.


There’s No Conclusive Proof USC’s Josh Shaw Can Come Up With A Whale Of A Story (Yet)

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron at 11:00 pm by

A day after it was widely reported that USC CB/co-captain Josh Shaw had been hospitalized after leaping from a second flood balcony to save his drowning nephew, Shaw’s coach, Steve Sarkisian, appeared to distance himself from prior claims this was a selfless, heroic act. From the LA Times’ Gary Klein :

After Tuesday’s practice, with cameras from sports, news and entertainment television shows present, Sarkisian said he would answer questions about the team and then address the Shaw story. Sarkisian began by saying that Shaw was a “a good person. He’s a good kid,” and that “I have no reason, no history to not believe Josh and his story.”

But he did not say that the story was true or false.

“I only know what I know, and Josh is adamant with what occurred and we’ll continue to vet some of the other stories that have come across our desk and across our phones,” Sarkisian said. Sarkisian declined to identify who had called the school.

The Los Angeles Police Department said Shaw’s name came up in a report filed by officers who responded to a call about a woman heard screaming at the Orsini Apartments at 505 N. Figueroa St. on Saturday night.

Lt. Andrew Neiman, a department spokesman, said officers forced entry into one apartment but found no one inside. They then interviewed witnesses at the apartments who reported seeing a man scampering across third-floor balconies and provided a general description of the individual. Later, as officers were talking to a woman, “She responded to a description with words to the effect, ‘That sounds like my boyfriend, Josh Shaw,’ ” Neiman said.


Posted in record collector disease, The World Of Entertainment at 1:58 pm by

And thanks for even less, my many alleged friends, none of whom ever bothered to tell me The Nashville Network once aired a country music quiz show called “Fandango” featuring EDGAR THE TALKING JUKEBOX….and there’s an episode featuring living/breathing/private press legend JOEY WELZ as a contestant.


B.C. Lions Owner Dennis Skulsky : Challenging Patrick Ewing For The Most Ill-Advised Guarantees Of All Time

Posted in Gridiron at 10:15 pm by

Enraged by the visiting  Roughriders purchasing a tauntastic billboard outside of BC Place, BC Lion president/CEO Dennis Skulsky (above) guaranteed a victory over Saskatchewan yesterday.  After the host Lions failed to deliver on Skulsky’s promise, The Province’s Ed Willis scoffs at claims Skulsky is a promotional mastermind.

In a crucial game for the team, Skulsky jacked up the defending Grey Cup champs to the point where they beat the Lions 20-16 with their backup quarterback playing the second half. That loss left the Lions in last place in the West and has jeopardized their playoff chances.

You have to admit, it’s a loose interpretation of the term genius.

But there’s a larger issue involved here, one that speaks to the state of the Lions. Until this year, the franchise never needed a guaranteed win to sell its product. Under Bob Ackles and Wally Buono, the Lions brand was built through a series of successful, exciting teams that earned the support of the community. There was no need for gimmicks, no need for hype. People invested in the team because they knew they’d be entertained.

Now? Since, moving into B.C. Place in 2011, attendance has decreased every year and, barring a miracle over their final four home dates, it will fall again this season. Against that backdrop, Skulsky made a grandstand play in an attempt to raise the Lions’ profile.

Paging Rob Manfred : Paul Auster’s Scheme To Make MLB More Lke Rec League Softball

Posted in Baseball at 3:34 pm by

(next time, just type, “BAN JOEL PERALTA”)

To the Sports Editor:

Re “In Push to Shorten Games, There’s No Time to Waste,” Aug. 17: I would like to offer a suggestion about speeding up baseball. Eliminate the two-strike foul ball as a neutral play (neither strike nor ball) and rule it a strike. To compensate for the advantage this would give the pitcher, allow the batter to go to first base after three balls instead of four.

This way, no at-bat could last more than five pitches. Pitch counts would go down, allowing starting pitchers to go deeper into games, which in turn would reduce the dead time caused by changing pitchers — the primary reason games last so long these days.

Traditionalists will argue that this will alter baseball as we know it. But if games continue to drag on for three hours or longer, baseball as we know it will lose its audience.



NY Times, Sports Inbox, 8/25/14

Just A Helpful Reminder…

Posted in Basketball at 3:22 pm by

….that your New York Knicks begin their 2014-2015 season in a mere 64 days.


Once Upon A Time, Peyton Manning Eschewed Gutter Talk

Posted in Gridiron at 6:09 pm by

Broncos QB Peyton Manning cursed in the face of Texas safety D.J. Swearinger during last night’s preseason tilt in Denver, an act that seems slightly at odds with the public image of the sure-thing Hall Of Famer / Papa John’s franchise owner. Especially so, when you consider Peyton’s long-standing opposition to working blue, as typified by a passage in the 2002 tome, “Manning: A Father, His Sons, and a Football Legacy”, a John Underwood-ghosted fluff job that criticized former Tennessee athletic trainer Jamie Ann Naughright for having “a vulgar mouth”.

Given Manning’s determination to publicly name and shame a young woman (who also had the temerity to accuse him of sitting on her face during a medical examination) who used foul language, can we really believe he’d bellow obscenities in the direction of an opponent?


I Mean No Disrepect To Friends & Family Within Earshot…

Posted in record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 6:43 pm by

…when I say tonight, I’d rather be in Cleveland. Above : from Wednesday night, an excerpt from the first X Blank X show in 35 (?) years.

Jets Backup QB Michael Vick : Reports Of My Not Giving A Shit Are Greatly Exaggerated

Posted in Gridiron at 4:35 pm by

Troubled by a MMQB report that claimed Jets assistants were less than blown away by Michael Vick’s (unsuccessful) preseason approach to unseating Geno Smith as Gang Green’s starting QB, Vick spoke out to the media last night after a 35-24 exhibition defeat to the Giants, perhaps adding validity to the claims when adding, “I knew the entire time that Geno was going to be the starter.” From the New York Post’s Brian Costello :

“Me and my coaches, we have great conversations, we have open dialogue, and that was far from the case. So whoever wrote that story, it was on the side of being very fictitious, and you have to come up with better stories than that. There are better things to talk about.”

Vick seemed puzzled why anyone would question his attitude.

“I mean, what did it look like to you all?” he asked reporters. “I did what I had to do.”

I’ll give Vick this much credit. No matter how underwhelming his performances in practice or preseason games might’ve been, he still showed 100% more effort than he put into those horrible Cure Auto Insurance commercials.


Wrigley’s Tarp-Draggers : Understaffed By A Miserly Ricketts

Posted in Baseball at 8:13 pm by

In the wake of Tuesday night’s tarp failure during a Giants/Cubs tilt that was originally ruled a rain-shortened, 2-0 victory for the hosts, then played to completion early Thursday evening after San Francisco’s protest was upheld by MLB, the Chicago Sun-Times’ Gordon Wittenmeyer has found the real culprit ;  Barack Obama’s Affordable Care Act.  Or more to the point, Cubs chairman Tom Ricketts’ corner-cutting.

The staffing issues that hamstrung the grounds crew Tuesday during a mad dash with the tarp under a sudden rainstorm were created in part by a wide-ranging reorganization last winter of game-day personnel, job descriptions and work limits designed to keep the seasonal workers – including much of the grounds crew – under 130 hours per month, according to numerous sources with direct knowledge.

That’s the full-time worker definition under “Obamacare,” which requires employer-provided healthcare benefits for “big businesses” such as a major league team.

“Cheap,” said one of three high-ranking officials from other organizations the Sun-Times contacted Thursday – all of whom fall below the Cubs on Forbes’ annual revenues list.