07.11.14

A Little Late For Miami To Start Acting Like A Real Sports Town, Don’t You Think?

Posted in Basketball, Modern Art at 5:36 pm by

After this morning’s confirmation of The Decision II,  I’m hardly the only person to notice someone defaced Serge Toussaint’s mural commemorating LeBron James’ first of two NBA titles with the Miami Heat.  But why hasn’t anyone objected to the paedo-stache that’s been applied to Erik Spoelstra’s upper lip?

Thinking Like A Beast With W*A*S*P*’s Chris Holmes

Posted in Racism Corner, Rock Und Roll at 2:53 pm by

Lest you believe the dumbest things to ever come from the mouth of ex-W*A*S*P* guitarist Chris Holmes were left floating in his Beverly Hills swimming pool, Riff-mag.com caught up with the noted social drinker/cultural critic at last month’s Hellfest and learned Holmes has relocated to Cannes and he’s not coming back. Here’s the fascinating reasons why, as quoted by that treasure of musical knowledge, Blabbermouth.net :

“Well, unless you’re the opposite of me — a hip-hop artist or a rapper — you won’t sell in America anymore. There’s no rock magazines anymore. The black culture has really… The black culture has taken hip hop to white… The white culture and all the kids act like that; they wear their pants down. I think it’s… I’m not 100 percent sure, but I when they go to school and they listen to hard rock, it’s called ‘pussy music.’ [They are told] ‘You need to listen to gangster rap.’ I think that’s what it is.”

He continued: “I really looked at it in the last year and the way the culture has changed, and I don’t wanna even be there. I had a hard enough time playing in a band in L.A., finding musicians. I’m tired of L.A., tired of the musicians there; they’re stuck up. That’s why I came to Europe. I like it here.”

Word To Steve Somers : The Title “Sample Credits Don’t Pay Our Bills” Has Already Been Taken

Posted in Hip Hop, New York, New York, Sports Radio at 8:53 am by

While apologizing to ESG for the above headline, I am saying the following in the nicest way possible : C-For might’ve surpassed Mike Zaun (and certainly lapped myself) as someone who has spent far too many hours absorbing the nuances of NYC’s WFAN. (video link culled from Bob’s Blitz)

07.10.14

Great Moments In Video Game History : “The Noid’s Super Pizza Shootout”

Posted in Firearms, Food, The Marketplace, Video Games at 11:27 pm by

Persons of a certain vintage will remember — perhaps not so fondly — Domino’s Pizza’s creepy animated mascot, The Noid.  Domino’s former CEO / anti-abortion zealot Tom Monaghan (dubbed “the Anti Too-Tall Jones” by Robert Nedelkoff) commissioned a marketing company to come up with a troll-ish pseudo-alien figure who’d personify the myriad ways your 30-minutes-or-it’s-free-generic-fucking-pizza might be delayed.

Unfortunately, in early 1989 at the height of The Noid’s infamy, a deranged,  pistol-waving gentleman took hostages in Atlanta, claiming the character was a deliberate attempt by Domino’s to push his buttons.  Wait, did I neglect to mention his name was Kenneth Lamar Noid?

Priceonomics’ Zachary Crockett writes that Mr. Noid committed suicide a few years later, which makes the following passage, well, even more fucked up.

Domino’s Pizza “Noid Super Pizza Shootout” Facebook Game from Andrew Lincoln on Vimeo.

Following the ordeal, Domino’s swiftly terminated the Noid campaign. For nearly twenty years, the annoying character lay in glorious respite, before briefly returning in 2011 (his 25th anniversary). This time though, he was merely part of a short-lived promotional marketing campaign: in Domino’s Facebook game, “The Noid’s Super Pizza Shootout.” As quickly as he came, the Noid returned to the void.

Launching a Facebook game called “The Noid’s Super Pizza Shootout” after there already was, y’know, A REAL SUPER PIZZA SHOOTOUT (featuring a batshit, armed-to-the-tooth guy named NOID who thought the Noid was created to fuck with his head) is a move in such monumental bad taste, I’m consumed with jealousy and awe.

HANG THE DJ

Posted in The World Of Entertainment at 10:42 pm by

on the other hand, anything that stops him from making his own music has to be considered a positive development.

07.09.14

Rockies Owner To Disgrunted Fan : Who Cares What You Think?

Posted in Baseball, The Marketplace at 11:43 pm by

Rockies fan Michael Ferguson took exception to Colorado’s indifferent effort in a 9-0, July 4 loss to the Dodgers, and while there’s not exactly any shame in being humbled by Clayton Kershaw (again), the home team could probably use some outside P.R. guidance after the club’s CEO, Dick Monfort (above)  reacted to Ferguson’s criticism. From KREX TV’s Travis Khachatoorian :

When Ferguson left the stadium, he decided to leave a disapproving comment in a feedback form.

“I pretty much just filled out the survey and kinda wrote a little bit about how it’s frustrating to spend the money and go see [Rockies] teams that are constantly struggling all the time,” said Ferguson.

Two days later, he found out his comments did not go unnoticed. Ferguson received a reply in his inbox simply stating, “If product and experience that bad don’t come!”… signed owner, chairman, and CEO of the Colorado Rockies Dick Monfort.

“That was quite a shock. I never expected that,” said Ferguson. “I figured it was just a bunch of people sitting around reading it. I might get an automated response or anything, but to get something like that, short and simple like that, it’s like wow… almost feels like they don’t care about the fans.”

Ferguson didn’t reply to Monfort’s curt response, but was disappointed he spent $288 on tickets (not including food and drinks in the park) to only have his comments dismissed by the top of the Rockies management.

SF Giants’ New Dress Code For Fans : Foam Tomahawks Are Not Acceptable Accessories

Posted in Baseball, Fashion, Free Expression, Racism Corner at 11:29 pm by

“Any fan wearing culturally insensitive attire, using obscene or abusive language, engaging in antisocial conduct offensive to those around them or displaying any other offensive behavior,” is subject to ejection from San Francisco’s AT&T Park, or so claims Giants spokesperson Staci Slaughter when speaking with the SF Chronicle’s Kale Williams.  If you’re wondering when Daniel Snyder assumed ownership of another team in the NL West, it seems the Giants’ new edict was provoked by an ugly incident described by Williams below :

The proposal stems from a brouhaha that arose after a fan, who appeared to be Caucasian, donned a headdress at Native American Heritage Night. The fan was approached by two Native Americans who asked for the headdress and then refused to give it back, according to a report from USA Today.

The two fans were escorted from their seats and detained by security, but they were not arrested.

Giants representatives met with the fans after the incident, both apologizing and talking about the best ways to move forward, which, for the Giants, includes “redoubling our efforts to educate and raise awareness with our staff and fans about culturally appropriate behavior and attire,” the team said in a statement.

Karl Hendricks Needs Your Help

Posted in record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 12:07 am by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : for nearly 25 years, the quality songwriting and guitar-craft of Pittsburgh, PA’s Karl Hendricks Trio has been a big part of the reason why US underground rock doesn’t deserve instant disappearing by Criss Angel or perhaps a less gothy illusonist.  Upon hearing of Hendricks’ recent health woes, I immediately decided to donate all of CSTB’s ad revenues for the month of July to the fund-raising initiative quoted below. When it was pointed out that we don’t actually have any ad revenues for the month of July, I instead bounced a check to my cat’s psychologist. Karl’s that special – GC)

For over 20 years Pittsburgh’s Karl Hendricks has been not only a good friend, but one of my favorite musicians. I’m not alone in either of these regards.

Karl has personally served as an inspiration to me as a dad, a writer and a small business owner as Karl’s the individual who keeps the excellent Sound Cat Records running smoothly.

He’s a quiet guy, not one to draw attention to himself and certainly not a person who is comfortable asking for help in this fashion.

His friends however aren’t as reserved. That’s why I am writing these words today.

In short: Karl Hendricks has oral cancer. He is working to get better, but it is going to be a long road to recovery.

If you would like to make a financial contribution to Team Hendricks, you can do so using this site. This fundraiser is being done with his consent.

With Karl unable to work this summer as he mends, times are tight in his household and if you’ve ever appreciated what Karl has done to better your own life, please consider passing some money his way.

There will be at least three benefit shows for Karl and his family you are encouraged to attend and spread the word about.

A series of rare items will also be auctioned off to benefit Karl around this time.

Friday, August 22
Brillobox (21+)
Pittsburgh, PA
8:00 pm ET
$10/door – if you wish to donate more you will be able to.
———————–
Line Forms
Tim Midyett (Bottomless Pit/Silkworm)
DAMA/LIBRA
Andy Cohen (Bottomless Pit/Silkworm)
The Gotobeds
Carousel

Saturday, August 23
2590 N High Street (21+)
Columbus, OH
8:00 pm ET door : 9:00 pm ET show
$7
———————–
Marcy Mays (Scrawl)
Sue Harshe (Scrawl/Ft Shame)
Andy Cohen (Bottomless Pit/Silkworm)
Tim Midyett (Bottomless Pit/Silkworm)
Kyle Sowash
Lizard McGee (Earwig)
Ron House
Lou Poster

+ more to be announced.

Saturday September 27
Modern Formations
Pittsburgh, PA
8:00 pm ET
$7/sliding scale
———————–
Readings by:
Jason Baldinger
Kris Collins
Jerome Crooks
Lori Jakiela
Jeff Martin
Dave Newman
Bobby Pajich
Scott Silsbe
Hosted by Red Bob

Karl’s short story chapbook “Stan Getz Isn’t Coming Back” will be repressed in an edition of 100 copies for this reading.

Thank you very much.

Jon Solomon
July 2014

07.08.14

You Can’t Have Everything, Cleveland

Posted in Basketball, politics at 11:42 pm by

LeBron James is scheduled to meet with Pat Riley in Las Vegas Wednesday, and it remains very likely the former will be returning to Miami next Autumn, despite overtures by a crow-chompng Dan Gilbert and the Cleveland Cavaliers.

For those in Cleveland who might have a tough time with LeBron rejecting their fair city for the 2nd time in four years, try to focus on the positive. Your town will host the 2016 Republican National Convention, meaning some of you will have an opportunity to witness musical performances such as this :

Now isn’t that a greater gift to celebrate than Eastern Conference contention?

Pendleton : Brian McCann’s The New Ed Whitson

Posted in Baseball at 5:22 pm by

OK, that’s not really what former NL MVP Terry Pendleton had to say about former Braves C / baseball etiquette enforcer Brian McCann (above, right), off to a truly rotten start since signing a free agent contract worth $85 million over 5 years with the Yankees last winter.  But close enough!  “New York is not Brian,” current Atlanta first base coash Pendleton told the New York Post’s Dan Martin . “That’s my opinion. I knew if he chose New York, there would be more than he expected or knew about. He’ll never be comfortable with that.”

“If I had to choose where he went, nothing against the Yankees, they’re one of the best organizations around, but I think he’d be more comfortable in Texas,” Pendleton said. “But he wants to win and when he looks at that, you’ve got to go to the Yankees.”

“Going from Atlanta to New York is a different animal,” Pendleton said. “Brian McCann is going to put more heat on himself and for him, trying to do more is the worst thing for him. I’ve learned that.”

“That money is hanging over his head,” Pendleton said. “A lot of guys say, ‘I’ve got to live up to that,’ instead of ‘They signed you to play your game.’”

“He became a pull hitter over the last three years or so,” Pendleton said. “When he got to the big leagues, he hit the ball everywhere. That’s what made him so good.”

Long fly balls he would hit to left-center wouldn’t leave Turner Field, though, and Pendleton believes that impacted McCann and caused him to focus solely on pulling the ball. And that’s when the shift began.

“It does affect him because last year he was getting [ticked] off because base hits were going right to the second baseman,” Pendleton said. “I told him to hit the ball to left field and he’d do it a couple of times, but he had it in his head he wanted to pull.”

07.07.14

Sleeping Beauty To ESPN : Pay Me

Posted in Baseball, Sports TV, The Law at 11:40 pm by

The New York Post’s  Lorena Mongelli, David K. Li and Bruce Golding report a patron caught snoozing by ESPN cameras during an April 13 tilt between the Red Sox and host Yankees is suing the network and yuckster announcers Dan Shulman and John Kruk for $10 million.  It would seem being cited as an example of sloth by Sir Kruk (on national television, no less), is considered defamation of character.

His typo-ridden suit says Shulman and Kruk’s “false statements” include suggestions that he’s “not worthy” to be a Yankees fan and “is a fatty cow that need two seats at all time and represent symbol of failure.”

The suit also says Rector was made out to be “a confused individual that neither understands nor knows anything about history and the meaning of rivalry between Red Sox and New York Yankee.”

As a result, the used-car dealer claims to have “suffered substantial injury” to his “character and reputation,” as well as “mental anguish, loss of future income and loss of earning capacity.”

Cocaine, Popularly Known As “Blow”, Is A Hell of A Drug (Or So Mike Florio’s Heard)

Posted in Gridiron at 6:09 pm by

Over the weekend, a number of photos of Browns rookie QB Johnny Manziel hit the internet, including but not limited to one showing him bartending at a downtown Austin douchetorium, and another showing the former Heisman winner rolling up a $20 bill in the men’s room of a Houston club. Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio, who might be old enough to remember the halcyon days of the The Vault Studio 54, chimed in with the following helpful note :

Rolled dollar bills are often used for snorting cocaine and cocaine is often snorted in the bathroom of a nightclub.  (At least that’s what they did in the ’80s.  I’ve heard.)

We won’t speculate on what Manziel planned to do with the money, and there’s no evidence in the photo of any cocaine or other banned substances.  And if anyone knows of any reasons why Manziel would be tightly rolling money in a bathroom, feel free to drop them in the comments

Since Mr. Florio is so pathetically out of touch with modern trends, it’s necessary to inform him that using a rolled-up $20 bill to tip a rest room attendant is considered the height of class in the Southwest.

ATTN : Power Metallers In Search Of The Right Monologist

Posted in Free Expression, Rock Und Roll at 11:15 am by



How Much Wizardry Can You Take?

07.06.14

Buck Showalter : Capable Of Being Offended By “No Comment”

Posted in Baseball at 9:58 pm by

Boston SP John Lackey took a less than admiring view of Orioles RF (and newly elected AL All-Star) Nelson Cruz’ 5 hit performance Saturday night, saying “I’m not even going to comment on him,”, but then doing exactly that.

“I’ve got nothing to say about him,” grumbled Lackey.  “There are things I’d like to say, but I’m not going to. You guys forget pretty conveniently about stuff,” the stuff alluded to being Cruz’ 50 game suspension for PED use last season.  You don’t have to be Manny Alexander to know that Baltimore skipper Buck Showalter (above, left) would take umbrage at Lackey bringing it up, as the Baltimore Sun’s Eduardo Encina carefully absorbed :

“You consider sources of people and some of their emotions after the game, whether it be a player’s comment or a manager’s comment or some fan’s comment,”  Showalter said. “You understand that nobody makes those comments after they pitched a complete game shutout or Nelson is 0-for-5. It’s human nature.”

“We need to all make sure we check our own backyard before we start looking at someone else’s.”

At the time of his suspension last season, Cruz said he used PEDs after a gastrointestinal infection that went undiagnosed and caused him to lose 40 pounds. Cruz said he has moved on from last year, but he still gets constantly heckled on the road by fans.

“Like I said, everybody is free to talk,” Cruz said. “What I care [about] is what I’m doing here. You can’t go and confront everybody who talks, you know?

The Lancaster Jethawks Inferno : The Hottest Thing To Happen To The California League Since….

Posted in Baseball, History's Not Happening, Internal Affairs at 7:48 pm by

…the Stickney family started getting on my case.  As you can see above, last night’s fireworks show at the conclusion of a Rancho Cucamonga / Lancaster Jethawks game resulted in the hosts’ outfield wall catching fire.  But this unfortunate incident wasn’t nearly as explosive as the belated reaction of family and employees of former Quakes owner Hank Stickney to this 2005 CSTB post. Close, but not quite.

07.05.14

Angels Blogger On Billy Beane’s Haul : Who Gives A Shit?

Posted in Baseball, Blogged Down at 11:18 pm by

Sitting on the best record in baseball (along with the best run differential), Oakland’s acquisition of P’s Jeff Samardzija and Jason Hammel for highly touted Cubs SS prospect Addison Russell was hailed by at least one observer (and several thousands more) as making the A’s World Series favorites. Alas, not everyone is blown away by Billy Beane’s audacity, specifically Halo’s Heaven’s Rev Halofan, who argues this is actually good news for the 2nd place Angels, given that Beane has “dumping the high end of their farm system”.

The Athletics acquired Jason Hammel, a veteran starting pitcher with an ERA of 4.46 over 78 games (70 of them starts) over the three seasons prior to this one. Sure, he is having a career year with a 2.98 ERA in 17 starts this year but a half-season does not win you a Cy Young. They also acquired Jeff Samrdzija, easily the Cubs best starter. Samzilla is 29 and is immediately the ace of the Oakland staff.

But the A’s have been treading water of late and a few parts on the team that appearaed to playing over their heads are just as likely running out of gas as they are going through statistical fluctuations. Billy Beane now has surplus pitching to make another deal but he is going to need someone with stats plausible enough to bump out a current regular and yet stats that aren’t small-sample mirage.

When they said it was BLOCKBUSTER they are right – Theo Epstein of the Cubs just brought a prospect bonanza to The North Side.

Akron Baseball Fans Find Out The Hard Way : Jack White Has Many Friends In The Trucking Industry

Posted in Baseball at 6:16 pm by

(photo courtesy John Petkovic)

07.04.14

Hayhurst : MLB Stands For MajorLy Baked

Posted in Baseball at 6:15 pm by

(former Mets hurler Grant Roberts, presumably before the introduction of a Shea Stadium Green Room)

Yahoo Sports’ Jeff Passan
recently penned a piece in which Major League Baseball clubs were accused for promoting minor leaguers to their 40 man rosters to avoid minor league testing for marijuana.  If you think that means affiliated teams have a cavalier attitude towards weed, former Padres reliever/Jays broadcaster and author Dirk Hayhurst claims in a Sports On Earth column that said organizations “totally condone” consumption (“one big-league team even had a “green room” where you could toke up while you were at the ballpark,”)

As far back as I can remember, players were getting high. Guys in the minors, on or off the 40-man, would take apples from the locker-room spread, hollow them out and then sneak behind dumpsters and smoke an apple pipe. In Triple-A, the now-defunct Portland Beavers would hide in stadium supply tunnels doing the old puff-puff-pass before jumping a knuckleball fight over the Rocky Mountains. I’ve even seen coaches toking up with their players.

No one says a word about any of it. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. It all falls under the code: What happens within the team stays within the team. If that weren’t the case, a guy could snap pics of another player getting high and turn it in to the organization, in the hopes of expediting his own career over someone else’s. Never happens.

It’s a long season, and smoking isn’t remotely the worst thing ballplayers are capable of doing in their idle time. I’d much rather see a guy baked at the hotel — giggling hysterically over a rerun of Jackass — than passed out in a random neighborhood kiddie pool after a night of heavy drinking courtesy of breaking into the stadium beer concessions. (The owner of the kiddie pool was furious!)

There was only one thing in Passan’s article that I took exception to. An unnamed source claimed that getting off weed had made him play better, “as if a fog was lifted.” I don’t know about that. Based on the guys I know who smoked regularly, your mileage under the influence will vary. Some of them were so freaking good baked, I can’t imagine how awesome they would’ve been clean.

07.03.14

On The Bright Side, At Least Doug Wojcik Has Nice Things To Say About His Wife

Posted in Basketball, College Spurts at 10:42 pm by

In a case that has echoes of the Mike Rice debacle at Rutgers, Bobby Cremins’ successor at the College Of Charleston, men’s head basketball coach Doug Wojcik — under investigation for verbal abuse of his student athletes — was suspended for a month without pay by the institution. After the Post & Courier published excerpts from a 50 page report vilifying Wojcik, it’s hard to imagine he’ll be coaching anywhere during the 2014-15 season. From the P&C’s Andrew Miller and Gene Sapakoff :

Wojcik at a practice told walk-on guard Chad Cooke, “I’m gonna rip your (expletive) throat out,” says another player.

To center Glen Pierre: “You’re not tough. Suck it up. I don’t care if (Pierre) … dies.”

In one tirade aimed at Matt Sundberg, Wojcik calls the player a “fag.” In other blasts, Wojcik degrades Sundberg’s girlfriend (“my wife is five times the woman your girlfriend will ever be”)

A player says Wojcik asked him about a teammate: “Like Nori Johnson. Would you have recruited him? He’s liar. He’s a thief. You don’t trust him, do you?”

“I cooperated with the investigation and accepted President (George) Benson’s decision and sanctions,” Wojcik said. “I’m sincerely remorseful and apologize to those I’ve hurt. I’ve already started making amends and working on correcting my actions. The College and I are grateful these concerns were brought to our attention, and every effort will be made to improve relations between myself and members of the men’s basketball program.”

In defense of Wojcik, current assistant coach Joe Wallace said he has never heard Wojcik call a player a “fag.”

07.02.14

Ottawa PD To Flyers’ Gropey Giroux : No Means No Is Not Merely A Band From British Columbia

Posted in Hockey, The Law at 6:06 pm by

(oh c’mon, like you could keep your hands off him)

Who amongst us hasn’t been in a bar and thought, “wouldn’t it be fun to grope an on-duty police officer”"  OK, while that thought hasn’t crossed my mind (recently, anyway), who knows what might happen after 20 or 30 drinks? I might start watching “Game Of Thrones”.   In the matter of Flyers C Claude Giroux, he’s  merely unauthorized fondling of a male Ottawa police offier as the Ottawa Sun’s Danielle Bell explains:

Officers were inside the bar as part of routine walk-throughs, when one officer had his butt grabbed by a patron as he walked by.

The officer turned around and told the patron not to behave like that, but he was grabbed again. At that point, the patron was taken outside of the bar to be spoken to, and was arrested soon after.

Giroux,  26, was put in a cruiser outside of The Great Canadian Cabin in the Byward Market around 9 p.m. Tuesday, where he was escorted out of by police. He was released Wednesday morning without any charges being laid.

It was later learned Giroux is expected to make a $20,000 donation to an Ottawa charity.

#BecauseBranding : ANYTHING 2 HELP HYUNDAI

Posted in Automobiles, Football, The Marketplace, twitter twatter, World Cup 2014 at 10:06 am by

07.01.14

Maybe Glenn Hoddle Will Be Reincarntated…

Posted in Football, Sports TV, World Cup 2014 at 11:38 pm by

…as a guy who can tell the difference between a cable news network and a North African nation? Still, it’s not even close to the most embarrassing piece of Glenn Hoddle footage on the internet.

WRAS’ New Overlords Have A Strict Dress Code

Posted in Baseball, Fashion, Free Expression, Radio, The Marketplace, Ugly New Stadiums at 4:09 pm by

Shortly following Georgia Public Broadcasting’s takeover of Georgia State University’s WRAS, GPB producer Clay Bolton found himself hitting the bricks after management took umbrage at his choice of a shirt when photographed in a local publication.  From Creative Loafing’s Rodney Carmichael :

Bolton’s dismissal followed the online publication of the Creative Loafing story “Atlanta nostalgia: It’s the new style.” In the story about the growing local trend of T-shirts designed to signify love for a fading Atlanta, Bolton talked about creating his “Fuck Cobb County” tee four months ago in reaction to the Atlanta Braves’ decision to move the major league team outside the city limits to a future Cobb County stadium

Beyond critiquing the Braves’ intended move, his Fuck Cobb County shirt symbolizes the ideological tension that often distinguishes the city from the suburbs, and Atlanta from the rest of the state. Bolton, who worked at GPB radio for two years, produced the local news breaks for nationally syndicated NPR shows “Morning Edition” and “All Things Considered.” Apparently his job was in good standing. He’d received a promotion the day before being fired for violating GPB’s code of ethics, he said. Though GPB refused to comment on personnel matters, a spokesperson contacted by Creative Loafing said GPB “wish[es] him the best.”

The shirt in question can be ordered here.

06.30.14

If Dave Lombardo’s Not Starting, I’m Not Departing

Posted in Football, World Cup 2014 at 10:38 pm by

(image culled from Metal Sucks.net, though it failed to lift the spirits of Nigeria coach Stephen Keshi)

Going Above & Beyond To Keep Lance Stephenson In The Fold

Posted in Basketball, Cinema at 6:35 pm by

The Indianapolis Star’s Candace Buckner fails to mention, however, that the movie “produced in Lance Stephenson’s honor” is a shot-for-shot remake of this classic.  The Pacers were gonna opt for this one, but Larry Bird thought it was a little too hard to improve on the original