An Important Message From The Entertainment Division Of Cumbucket Media

Posted in 12XU, Internal Affairs, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 10:15 pm by

As you may or may not be aware, the debut album from Austin’s Meet Your Death is released this coming Friday (August 12), coinciding with a show at East 6th Street’s Hotel Vegas also featuring labelmates James Arthur’s Manhunt, Atlanta’s Omni and early contenders for Best Band Little Steven Would Have A Problem With, Borzoi.

Anyhow, a local website graced us with their opinion of Meet Your Death’s forthcoming album and declared the band’s repertoire, “music so obscure and varied that most wouldn’t recognize the songs unless they had an extensive musical knowledge.”

The reviewer has a point. What did Bo Diddley or Mose Allison ever accomplish compared to say, Moving Units?

Still, while each critic is entitled to his or her opinions and biases, deeply entrenched or not, there was one sentence in particular that I must take exception to ; “perhaps because Meet Your Death is comprised of seasoned performers, or perhaps because they have friends at 12XU, it seems we’ve been asked to consider this as a record by a developed band.”

The reason folks are invited to consider ‘Meet Your Death’ the work of a developed band is rather simple : John Schooley and Walter Daniels’ individual resumes and discographies look like a virtual who’s who of crucial players in US underground rock history. The rhythm section of Harpal Assi and Matt Hammer have merely been key components in 4 of Texas’ most acclaimed modern outfits (and that’s a modest count). Collectively, the band has been playing out for two years. But the implication that efforts to bring their work to the wider public are a byproduct of “friendship” could not be further from the truth.

For starters, I can’t stand these guys. When I see John or Walter on the street, not only do I cross to the other side, I hop in a cab, head straight to the airport and purchase a one-way ticket to the furthest-away domestic location. You ever wonder why I’m nowhere to be found after they play? Because I’d sooner cut my own throat than discuss topics like, “was the guitar loud enough?”, “how was the lighting?” or, “do you think they’ll have us back?”

I realize it makes convenient copy, suggesting the label roster is one-big-happy family, but truth be told, I work with a never-ending succession of horrible, horrible human beings and I need to take drastic steps every day to make sure none of their character flaws rub off on my otherwise perfect self. My sole motive for documenting their endeavors is complete and thorough appreciation for their art (and the fervent desire to exploit the fuck out of it). But do I consider these musicians to be friends? Listen, if any of ‘em showed up at my doorstep asking to use the bathroom, I’d demand a doctor’s note and a $50 deposit.

OK, glad we cleared that up.



Posted in Rock Und Roll, The World Of Entertainment at 9:07 pm by

(Luis Guzman is not simply the bus driver, but he’s also super wise and has many mystical insights and/or Dylan rarities at his disposal)

The best thing I can say about Cameron Crowe’s “Roadies” (Showtime)  is that it could not have very easy to make “Vinyl” seem super realistic/accurate by comparison.

(other works “Roadies” manages to make seem very realistic : “Battlefield Earth”, “The Island Of Dr. Moreau” (Brando/Val Kilmer version), the entire M Night Shyamalan filmography).

That said, I’m hopeful the series can inspire a new game where people start showing up for terrible bands’ soundchecks (in cities where such things exist, anyway) and proceed to lose their collective shit at the sheer rock’n'roll majesty of well, pretty much fucking anything that’s being banged out (insert random story about Van and Jim Morrison vomiting into each other’s mouths, did you realize the tour bus is about to stop at the birthplace of Chicago’s Terry Kath, etc.)

I guess if i had to choose between a reality in which ISIS rules the globe and one in which the entire road crew for generic arena bands consists of nothing but uber-fans who’d lay down their lives for sub Loggins & Messina garbage, I’d probably pick the latter. But I’d have to think about it for a least a few minutes.

Also, we’re nearly six hours in and there’s no Kozelek cameo, WTF.


Ravens’ Watson : Planned Parenthood Is Part Of A Genocidal Scheme

Posted in Gridiron, Parental Responsibility, Religion at 9:57 pm by

Alright, that’s not exactly what Baltimore tight end Benjamin Watson had to say in an interview with Turning Point Friends.org, but hey, CLOSE ENOUGH.

TPPRC: You recently wrote the book, Under Our Skin, about the racial divide in America. Do you have any unique insight about how race factors into the issue of abortion?

BW: I wouldn’t say I have any unique insight. I do know that blacks kind of represent a large portion of the abortions, and I do know that honestly the whole idea with Planned Parenthood and (Margaret) Sanger in the past was to exterminate blacks, and it’s kind of ironic that it’s working. We (as minorities) support candidates, and overwhelmingly support the idea of having Planned Parenthood and the like, and yet, that is why she created it. We are buying it hook, line, and sinker, like it’s a great thing. It’s just amazing to me and abortion saddens me period, but it seems to be something that is really pushed on minorities and provided to minorities especially as something that they should do. In the public, it seems to be painted that when minorities get pregnant they need to get abortions, especially when it comes to teen pregnancy. It’s like when black girls are pregnant, it’s like a statistic, but when white girls get pregnant, they get a TV show. My book talks about race, and how all these things are kind of forced into our brains. When we think about abortion, what’s the picture we get in our minds? It’s usually a minority, and those images are reinforced in culture. We sit here and talk about advancing the black agenda, whatever that means, we talk about our interests, and what’s important to us – like having political power and advancement and all those things – and then we are turning around and we are killing our children. And we are buying the lie that it’s our personal decision to make. Honestly, I am sympathetic, I am. Because I know it’s a hard decision. I don’t know exactly what it’s like to be pregnant and to be a single mom, or even to be a married mom and not want the child. I would never assume people are having abortions flippantly. I know people have them for convenience, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a tough choice for the mothers to make, so I always want to be sympathetic to that.

TPPRC: Men are often told they aren’t welcome in the discussion on abortion because it is a “female” issue. How would answer that challenge?

BW: It’s a women’s issue, but a lot of the women wouldn’t be having abortions if the men would step up and be a part of what they are already biologically a part of. Raising children and having children, even though the women birthed the child, is designed for two people to do it. And there is so much undue stress and pressure on the woman if the other one isn’t there. So, really one thing we do is say it’s a woman’s issue, forcing the woman to have to deal with it on her own, so that way men don’t have to. As a man, I am going to passive-aggressively tell you you are in control, when really I am just telling you that because it makes my life easier, cause that way I don’t have to step up and make a decision. I obviously think that a man has just as much invested in that child as the woman does. He need to be there to support her through the physical changes of the pregnancy, and help and provide emotional strength, and do it together. As much as he has a role in making the baby in the first place, it needs to take both of them the whole way through. Any idea that a man doesn’t have a role in it is not true, and is simply more about politics and making a man’s life easier. If you are going to say, “It’s your choice” and she decides on an abortion, then at least be man enough to go with her through the entire process. You should have to sit with her through the entire procedure (and recovery) if you are going to go that route…

Vote For This Man (Or He’ll Shoot You Hundreds Of Time)

Posted in Firearms, politics at 9:48 pm by

People sometimes ask “what are you looking for in a candidate?” I always answer that I’m looking for someone who can successfully reenact the scene in “(The Day Of) The Jackal” remake where Bruce Willis blows Jack Black’s arm off. With as little advance training as possible.

(UPDATE : OK, Eric Greitens’ boner for guns might only be the second most sensational thing about the Missouri gubernatorial campaign).


Golf Is A Four Letter Word (And Terry Collins Would Like You To Watch Your Mouth)

Posted in Baseball at 7:15 pm by

Jeff Van Gundy once opined the two worst things to happen to the NBA were golf and God (not necessarily in that order). Mets manager Terry Collins — amidst a three-way battle for the NL’s 2nd Wild Card spot, despite losing a plethora of crucial players for fuck knows how long — might well agree with half of that assessment as it pertains to baseball. Or at least talking about Yoenis Cesdespes playing golf.


Barneys’ Black Flag Tee : Time For Hot Topic To Dramatically Raise Prices

Posted in Fashion, record collector disease, The Marketplace at 8:16 pm by

If Barneys can charge $265 for a Black Flag shirt (echoes, I reckon, of Kayne’s $8K Discharge jacket) there’s some serious money being thrown around/flushed in the pursuit of authenticity. Comical, yes, but I would truly like to see the people I love and respect hop on this gravy train:

Don Walsh’s Rusted Shut Fantasy Camp ($3000 for two days, Don might not attend due to other obligations)
Von LMO Segway Tours of Coney Island ($350, must supply your own Segway)
Taylor TX, SST Superstore “Supermarket Sweep” For Charity* ($1000 for 90 seconds, all the Jambang overstock you can fit in a shopping cart)
touring company of “Joseph & The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” starring Curt Low (understudy, Neil Patrick Harris)
* – cat rescue, of course


Niese To Mets : Reports Of My Saying You Suck At Defense Were Highly Exaggerated

Posted in Baseball at 8:01 pm by

Upon being dealt to the Pirates last winter for 2B Neil Walker, SP Jonathan Niese seemed to take a shot at his former Mets teammates when telling reporters, “I’m sure what I’ll appreciate more than anything is the way [the Pirates] play defense.”. On Tuesday, Niese faced a modest media scrum in Queens after returning to the Mets in exchange for reliever Antonio Bastardo and cash, and successfully backpedaled like he was Carmelo Anthony running away from Mardy Collins. From the NY Post’s Mike Puma :

“I know my teammates and I think they knew what I meant by what I said,” Niese said at Citi Field before the Mets faced the Yankees. “And from what I said, I never really meant to criticize the Mets’ defense. All I really said was that I was excited to pitch in front of the Pirates’ defense, so it’s unfortunate the way it got turned around, because it’s certainly not what I meant by it.

“But I have talked to a lot of the guys in the clubhouse and they respect me and I respect them and I’ve always loved them from the first time that I have played with them.”


Even The King Of The Deadline Deal Scoop Can Err Every Now & Then

Posted in Baseball, Sports Journalism at 11:47 pm by


Earlier Monday evening, Fox Sports’ Ken Rosenthal reported that Dodgers outfielder Yasiel Puig refused to board a team flight to Colorado after being told by team officals he’d either be traded or demoted to Oklahoma City by the afternoon’s trade deadline. Following clarification from Puig’s representatives, Rosenthal, to his credit, sought to set the record straight :

Puig’s agent, Adam Katz, and Dodgers officials said that my initial report — that Puig stormed off after arriving at Dodger Stadium and being given the news — was inaccurate.

“I’m told he never went to the park,” Katz said. “The club informed me and the player understood clearly that they were making every to trade him and that if they were unable to come to terms with another club on a trade — and successful in acquiring another outfielder — that he likely would be demoted. My understanding is that transaction will happen tomorrow.”


AP : Baylor Cover-Up Including Threatening Victims

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron, The Law at 9:36 pm by

The Pepper Hamilton law firm entrusted with investigating Baylor University’s response to multiple sexual assault allegations against members of the school’s football program has concluded the school actively sought to coerce victims into, well, keeping their mouths shut. From the AP’s Jim Vertuno :

“A number of victims were told that if they made a report of rape, their parents would be informed of the details of where they were and what they were doing,” said Chad Dunn, a Houston attorney who represents six women who have sued Baylor under the anonymous identification of Jane Doe.

The nation’s largest Baptist university is a notably conservative place in one of the most conservative states in the country. Dancing on campus was banned until 1996. Fornication, adultery and homosexual acts were included in an official list of misconduct until May 2015, and the current policy stresses that “physical sexual intimacy is to be expressed in the context of marital fidelity.”

One woman said her case began when she called police to report a physical assault on another woman at an off-campus party. Police demanded to know if she was underage and had been drinking, then arrested and reported her to the school office that investigates conduct code violations, she said. She told Baylor officials her drinking was a result of being raped a month earlier and detailed what happened in person and in a letter.

She received an alcohol code violation and told to do 25 hours community service, and when she tried to appeal, the woman said Baylor officials urged her to drop it. The school never pursued her rape claim.


Meltzer’s Farewell To A Portland TV Fixture

Posted in Professional Wrestling at 10:17 pm by

Last week, Portland OR furniture chain owner Tom Peterson, a longtime sponsor of Portland Wrestling, passed away at the age of 86. Profiled by People Magazine in 1988 (“Some people say I’m an egomaniac. So what? If you’re going to spend a lot of money on advertising, you might as well spend it advertising yourself,”), Peterson is recalled by the Wrestling Observer Newsletter’s Dave Meltzer :

Peterson’s high energy commercials were a staple of the Portland Wrestling show during the 70s and 80s, and he later was the key sponsor of Frank Culbertson’s Portland Wrestling revival promotion, doing commercials with wife Gloria. Peterson opened his first furniture and appliance store in 1964 and by 1989 his chain of stores were doing $30 million per year in business. At one point he owned six furniture stores and in 1989, just as Portland Wrestling was dying out, he purchased the Stereo Super Stores chain, an ill fate move which ended up with his entire business declaring bankruptcy in 1992. He reopened one store at his original location. In the 1980s, the Oregonian said that Peterson, who did all his own commercials with his trademark crewcut haircut, was the most recognizable man in Portland. A Tom Peterson commercial played in the background of the movie “Drugstore Cowboy,” leading director Gus Van Sant to have him do cameos in several movies as well as putting another Peterson commercial in the movie “To Die For.” His face and name were also in the comic book “Boris the Bear #2 and there was a local song that got airplay for years in Portland called “I Woke Up with a Tom Peterson Haircut” that was released in 1987. Peterson’s death was due to complications from Parkinson’s disease, which he had been battling dating back to 1992.