08.20.12

B-Easy’s B-zarre Garage Sale

Posted in Basketball, The Marketplace at 10:11 pm by

F Michael Beasley signed a 3-year, $18 million contract with Phoenix last month, and as such, he’s looking to jettison some of his worldly possessions before leaving Minneapolis. However, as Fox Sports North’s Joan Nisen reports, Beasley’s estate sale featured a varied and unpredictable inventory.  “The further in I got, the creepier it became,” writes Nisen, who presumably struck out on a bargain priced bong.

I missed out on the first day of the sale, and by the time I arrived Sunday morning, it had descended into the discount round. Every item had two prices listed: Saturday’s outdated one and Sunday’s bargain closeout. A table that once was $400, now discounted to $150! Anthropomorphic rabbit salt and pepper shakers, now for the bargain price of $5! Women’s handbags, now $150!

So there was no yelling about Beasley, but there were whispers. Neighbors gossiped to workers about the time a sports car ended up wrapped around a tree last winter outside the house, and anyone who did know the identity of who had previously lived there couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow in nearly every room they entered. The entire thing posed so many questions: Why does Michael Beasley need a copy of the Physicians’ Desk Reference? Or a book of Ingmar Bergman screenplays? Or giant glass grapes? What use does Beasley have for a floral headboard? Why does he love tasseled pillows so much? Whose handbags are those?

There’s no way to answer those questions. There’s no way to guess what 10 percent of the items weren’t Beasley’s, because next to nothing in the house looked like anything you’d ever imagine the basketball player purchasing.

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