(you really thought I was gonna post a DC3 video this time?)

Cowboys owner Jerry Jones describes embattled WR Dez Bryant as “open-minded and cooperative”. There’s been no reports this offseason of Bryant turning up late to practices, team meetings or even losing his trousers at the mall. Still, in light of an alleged August 14 incident between Bryant and his mother, ESPNDallas’ Calvin Watkins reports the Cowboys have imposed the following conditions on America’s 2nd Most Favorite Dez (see above).

• A midnight curfew. If he’s going to miss curfew, team officials must know in advance;

• No drinking alcohol.

• He can’t attend any strip clubs and can only attend nightclubs if they are approved by the team and he has a security team with him.

• He must attend counseling sessions twice a week.

• A rotating three-man security team will leave one man with Bryant at all times.

• Members of the security team will drive Bryant to practices, games and team functions.

I suppose that’s all good news if that’s what it takes to keep Bryant on the straight and narrow. The bad news, however is this guy has already applied for one of the security jobs.