09.12.09

CSTB’s Greatest Hits : Defending Peter Vecsey

Posted in Basketball, Sports Journalism at 9:40 pm by

The New York Post’s Peter Vecsey, along with Doug Collins, received the Pro Basketball Hall Of Fame’s Curt Gowdy Award earlier this week, an occasion that afforded Poison Pete  a nearly 30 minute monopoly of the microphone that apparently offended or bored nearly everyone in attendance.  Though there’s no video footage available of a diatribe delivered by the columnist Jeff Pearlman credits with  “an unparalleled record of alienation”, given Vecsey’s status as a sports journalism pariah, I thought it worthwhile to remind everyone….that I seem to be his only fan.  From CSTB, February 26, 2006 :

The New York Post’s Peter Vescey is Will Leitch’s latest nominee for œYour Hometown Columnist Sucks, a pretty rich concept considering that a columnist in Leitch’s own hometown would be the person who transcribes the cinema start times.

Writes Will,

Is Vecsey at least funny? You tell us: “Following his 1-for-16 misadventure in Game 1 against the Sonics, Mike Bibby, desperate to figure out his shooting problem, drove to the nearest Wendy’s to see if its employees could put their finger on it.” Um, what?

Admittedly, that’s not even close to Vescey’s best line. But still funnier than anything you’d find in a month of reading Deadspin.

Though hardly above reproach, Vescey is the guy who suggested that Pat Riley stopped talking about “The Disease Of Me” and switched to “The Disease Of Thee” when he noticed Madonna was sitting courtside. The same Vescey that labelled the Daily News’ Filip “King Kong” Bondy and was tearing into  Stephen “Anal” Smith when Deadspin was just a twinkle in Nick Denton’s eye.

Some other recent classic gems from Vescey’s “Hoops Du Jour “:

Georgia’s runaway bride, Jennifer Wilbanks, has been indicted for filing false statements and false police reports. She faces up to six years in the pokey, or, if the judge really wants to stick it to her, six Hawks home games.

John Stockton, by the way, returned to the Delta Center Wednesday night at the Jazz unveiled an eight-foot statue of him outside the arena. The statue inside the arena is known as Carlos Boozer.

After eyeballing Sunday’s 64-62 eyesore (the Pistons won despite missing each and every one of 15 field goal tries in the fourth quadrant) Larry Brown announced he was going in for additional hip surgery. He denies he has any intentions of switching hospitals.

Michael Olowokandi finally earned his Timberwolves keep by provoking Nene into a fist-fight, the way it was meant to be, mano-a-mano instead of mano-a-fanatico. Both received the same four-game sanctioned sentence and we all know who came out ahead on that score. The Crying Wolves, who hosted Toronto last night, have dutifully improved on this Kandi-free diet, winning that game in Denver and the next vs. the frontcourt-less Blazers.

This just in: So it shouldn’t be a total loss, Latrell Sprewell petitioned David Stern to turn over Olowokandi’s paychecks to his near starving family.

Say this much about Darko, his team has made the playoffs both of his seasons. Joe Dumars deserves a lot of credit for for not trading up and taking LeBron James.

David Stern’s league, chock full of provocatively dressed and undulating dance teams, has banned players from listening to music during pre-game warm-ups. Vince Carter and others got the word iPods are not part of the NBA’s standard uniform and thus cannot be worn.

Carter, who received the iPod as a gift for being the only person not attacked at the Vibe awards, is appealing Stern’s fearless ruling.

Donald Stern and Mark Cuban have worked out a deal re fines. In the future, any money collected from the owner will be used to bribe people to watch his next show.

Kobe made a point of thanking the Clippers for their interest when the Lakers played them during preseason, but, like I always say, no means no.

As far as I can tell, Vescey’s biggest sin is that he’s far more skilled at disembowling ESPN and TNT’s on-air talent, than our Man from Mattoon.

(Sept. ’09 Note : astonishing that Vescey is still telling Madonna jokes in this day and age.  If Don Rickles can continue to work the casinos, why not Pete?)

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