(David Garrard, QB of the last place Jackson Jaguars, working up a Pro Bowl-sized appetite for the recipe below, earlier this week)
(the following was first posted on February 8, 2004).
Excuse me for having to spell this one out for our European readers. Pro Bowl Sunday is a BIG event for Americans. All over the country, families come together for Pro Bowl Parties. Advertisters pay hundreds of dollars to televise commercials featuring their newest products. Each year on Pro Bowl Sunday, battered womens’ shelters report the number of victims admitted to their care decreases by two percent, testament to the calming nature of the contest . If the NBA All-Star Game is, in the words of Michael Wilbon, Black Thanksgiving, then the Pro Bowl is sort of like Yom Kippur for Gambling Degenerates & Football Obsessives of All Races.
In this household, the Pro Bowl’s importance is matched only by that of the NHL Skills Competition (skate-sharpening, carrying Eric Lindros off the ice) and the entire NASCAR calendar. And with that in mind, here is CSTB’s Award Winning Pro Bowl Chili Recipe :
750 g of Sainsbury Lean Minced Beef
1 jar of Uncle Ben’s Hot Chili
simmer the minced beef in a wok or non-combustible container until brown.
drain the fat in a colander.
remove half the beef and serve to CSTB’s Dog Mascot (allow some 20 minutes for cooling or you’ll be very very sorry)
put the other half of the beef back in the wok, add the contents of the Uncle Ben’s jar.
go watch NFL Countdown for 30 minutes
serve over a bed of white rice (if you don’t have any white rice, you can always try to cut the taste by swallowing without chewing)
Serves 1 – possibly two if you can get anyone to come over to your house for the Pro Bowl.