04.25.08

Dear Random House Spam-Fucker : Take Me Off Your Mailing List

Posted in Sports TV, The Mailbag at 3:46 pm by

KENNY MAYNE WITHDRAWS NAME  FROM NFL DRAFT BOARD

In a quick reversal, Kenny Mayne, who announced his eligibility for the NFL draft yesterday, has decided to pursue other interests such as his career at ESPN and promoting his new book, An Incomplete & Inaccurate History of Sport, on sale now at KennyMayneHasWrittenABook.com.

Sources close to Mr. Mayne believe his revised decision might have something to do with a letter he just received from Demarcus Ware of the Dallas Cowboys in which the QB sacking specialist wrote, œLooking forward to seeing you in the NFL.  You should of cast me in that Tony Soprano video like you did Jason Whitten and Tony Romo.

When reached for comments, Kenny Mayne replied, œNo comment, then added, œBut I do have plenty of comments on Ice Hockey, Childbirth, Electric Tackle Football, and much much more in my new book, An Incomplete & Inaccurate History of Sport.  On sale now at fine bookstores everywhere.

Dear Alisha Cantrell of Random House Books,

I’m with Pat Summit on this one. Kenny Mayne is about as funny as a stag party at Auschwitz. On behalf of each and every sports blogger you are harrassing with these retarded messages, I implore you : please stop. Now.

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