09.01.06

Diminutive Exec Risks Offending Dozens Of Fish Fans

Posted in Baseball at 1:54 am by

The South Florida Sun-Sentinel’s Dave Hyde on Marlins prez / Accu-Jack enthusiast David Samson. (link-swiped from Repoz and Baseball Think Factory)

Recently, the Marlins’ team president (above) gave another supposedly comic discourse on 790 The Ticket (WAXY-AM) that touched all the bases of women, sex and pornography. This isn’t uncommon. In the past, he has “joked” of having Porn Night at the stadium. He’s “joked” of having a sex toy in his car. He’s “joked” which players looked like porn stars. (Do you see the thread here? And are you laughing yet?)

On this particular show, a male caller who said he otherwise enjoyed Samson’s segment asked him to, “Please try not to be so derogatory toward women and lustful when you do the interview. I try to enjoy the show with my girl, and she’s like, `Oh, that Dave Samson, he’s a real creep.’”

“Don’t be lecherous, Samson,” show host Dan LeBatard said.

“I will try to be slightly less lecherous for his girlfriend,” Samson said. “And if he would like to bring her to my office, we could definitely talk about my lechery.”

On another show, he was asked, “in honor of Maurice Clarett,” what would police find in his car if he were pulled over.

“I think there’s two things that would potentially be found,” he said. “First one is Nina Blackwood.”

He continued: “Second one would be some sort of Austin Powers-like device. … Austin Powers had a device that made everyone coo and was given back to him when he was unfrozen, and that’s the device that potentially is kept in the trunk of my car. That’s all I’m saying.”

The device to which he alluded, as the movie Web site said, is a “Swedish-made penis enlarger pump.”

To which Samson asked Thursday: “Is it against the law to talk about penis enlarger pumps?”

I hate to play the puritanical card, but I’m with Hyde on this one. Samson is exercising poor judgement and seems thoroughly unqualified to represent a Major League Baseball franchise.

He might make a perfectly capable Supreme Court Justice, however.

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