09.20.06

Excuse Me While I Kick This Guy

Posted in Going To The Zoo, Sad Toilets at 2:53 pm by

From the National Post’s Graham Hamilton,

CBC chairman Guy Fournier (above) has become the target of anger and derision in his home province after falsely claiming that Lebanon permits bestiality and for granting a lengthy interview on the joys of bowel movements.

On Sunday night, Mr. Fournier, appeared on one of Quebec’s most-watched television shows, Tout le monde en parle, ostensibly to apologize for a magazine column he wrote making the unfounded bestiality claims.

In his Sept. 9 weekly column for the magazine 7 Jours, Mr. Fournier included the following nugget: “In Lebanon, the law allows men to have sexual relations with animals as long as they are female! Doing the same thing with male beasts can result in the death penalty.”

The show’s host, Guy A. Lepage, then moved the discussion along, digging up a little-noticed interview Mr. Fournier gave last May to a small French-language radio station in Toronto, during which the CBC/Radio-Canada chairman rhapsodized about defecation for more than 10 minutes.

Mr. Fournier recounted a train trip in the early 1960s during which a friend named Michel said going number two was as pleasurable as having sex.

“From that moment, I started paying closer attention — and I have to tell you, I quickly realized that Michel was entirely right,” Mr. Fournier said.

“And the most extraordinary thing is that, in the end, as you grow older, you continue to go poop once a day if you are in good health, while it is not easy to make love every day. So finally, the pleasure is longer-lasting and more frequent than the other.”

He also advised against distractions while on the toilet. “There are even people who push the heresy to the point of doing Sudoku or crosswords rather than concentrating on the pleasure that they would have doing the thing,” Mr. Fournier told his radio interviewer. “It is just as heretical as if you read the National Post while making love. It is not to be recommended.”

“GG Allin would have agreed,” writes Jim Hoffman, supplier of the above link. Fournier resigned as CBC chairman yesterday, so that’s one less distraction he’ll contend with the next time he’s on the can.

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