12.15.13

FiveThirtyEight-ing the Absurd ‘Space Jam’ Agate [AUDIO]

Posted in Basketball, Cinema, Statistical Analysis at 2:53 am by

In light of Yahoo!’s Onion-ish “30×30” on the best interspecies game ever played (sans Air Bud: Golden Receiver, of course), but also to Porky Piggyback on REGRESSING/Harvard’s “Compiling The Absurd Box Score For Space Jam; Or, Shawn Bradley Sucked Against Cartoons, Too” . . .

Now, as per Ms. Meyer’s robots, I’ve gotten statistically jiggy with some NFL roti before. And re: the roundball, here’s XII on my fave WNBA team. (Cf. If you want to know if Amanda Lear really is a transsexual after all, there’s always this one I did for Jerry Thackray, too.)

Those being done, I started cooking Mike, Bugs, L-O-L-A, Daffy and Taz’s 1s and Os in both a scatter and a gauge plot. But then that Heisman perp walk started, and, well, there’s a chart somewhere out there that shows how many hours of lives were lost on that Gothamist boondoggle. And anyways, I seriously wanted to make this one less GL interactive, more Wayback Machine–as, like Jameis’ innocence tomorrow, may we never forget pre-Hanes ‘stache MJ.

“Even better,” you ask, Mr. Snowden Silver?

Proving that Russia was still spying on all space activity well after Reagan told Herr Hasselhoff to, quote, “tare down The Wall,” a source in the then NSA has shared the following audio transcript:

[N.B. The ex-adgate for the Birmingham Barons did NOT want this leaked!]

In the end, Disney may well do as Disney indeed does, but aspera ad astra R. Sylvester Kelly’s WB hit, I, too, believe these numbers fly for themselves.

Yes, especially for the bench. No threes and no frees, no boards nor blocks…no problem.

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