04.01.06

Former Greenie Gulppers Pray To The God Of Caffeine

Posted in Baseball at 12:40 pm by

Drinking black coffee, black coffee, black coffee, stare at the walls. The New York Times’ Jack Curry, mindful of MLB’s new speed limits, stares into the heart of big leaguers seeking a new kinda kick.

“Anybody who thinks you can go through the season normally and your body can just respond normally, after what we go through, is unreasonable,” said Eric Chavez, the third baseman for the Oakland Athletics. “I’m not saying taking away greenies isn’t a good thing, but guys are definitely going to look for something as a replacement.”

What will those replacements be? Anything that comes close to doing what greenies did, so anything with caffeine. Several players said they thought coffee, lots of it and no decaf, please, could become as standard as water in dugouts. Others said energy drinks, which are already baseball staples, would grow in popularity. Some teams are also offering energizing jellybeans, with emphasis on the jelly.

Observing players this spring was a sign of what to expect. Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants held a coffee cup an hour before a game. Derek Jeter of the Yankees favored Red Bull, the energy drink. Ron Villone, another Yankee, brewed green tea. Jay Payton of the Athletics drank soda, even though it was 9:30 in the morning.

“I guarantee guys are trying to find something simply because it’s a grind going out there every single night,” said Tom Glavine, a pitcher for the Mets. “Someone needs to put a Starbucks or a Dunkin’ Donuts, or both, right by Shea.”

Chavez echoed Glavine’s theme, with an investor’s twist.

“I know they put in a new Starbucks near here,” Chavez said, referring to Phoenix Municipal Stadium, the Athletics’ spring-training home. “Everybody was saying, ‘Go buy stock in Starbucks.’ “


(time to make Tom Glavine go nuts)

Glavine might wanna try mixing with the riff raff one of the days. There’s a Dunkin’ Donuts at Shea right underneath the right field loge boxes.

2 Responses to “Former Greenie Gulppers Pray To The God Of Caffeine”

  1. Dan McGowan says:

    I was going to say… Isn’t there D&D at Shea? Good call Tommy.

  2. WeWanttheFunk says:

    Coffee bean futures, gentlemen.
    You’re welcome.

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