09.16.13

From The Desk Of Randy L. : Displaying Mo’s Blown Saves Is The Lowest Form Of Humor

Posted in Baseball at 6:29 pm by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : From time to time, noted baseball executive/consumer advocate Randy L. of the Bronx weighs in at CSTB on the events of the day. In the wake of the Red Sox honoring Mariano Rivera last night at Fenway Park —- in a ceremony some found uncomfortably self-congratulatory on the part of the hosts — Randy offered, nay, demanded to have his say – GC).

Not for the first time, Larry Lucchino, Tom Werner and John Henry have shown that no organization in sports is quite so capable of putting the “ass” in “class”.  Sunday evening’s ceremonies in a vermin-infested temple of alcoholism provided some cheap laughs and yet another opportunity for our alleged rivals to pat themselves on the back for actually having achieved anything of note TWICE IN A HUNDRED FUCKING YEARS.

Just for the sake of argument, however, suppose for a moment I buy into the idea that a little nudge-nudge, yuck-yuck at the expense of the universally beloved Mariano Rivera on what could be his final game in that cesspool was somehow an appropriate gesture. How might the World’s Greatest Sporting Franchise return the favor?  What sort of highlights could we show on the New Stadium jumbotron during Manny Ramirez’ final game…no, wait, sorry, too late for that.  Maybe we can find a clip of Nomar Garciaparra glued to the bench on his own volition while Derek Jeter makes a heroic leap into the stands in time for the former’s last game at….whoops, a little late on that one, too.  How about some hidden camera video of Manny Alexander giving his car keys to the batboy?  Josh Beckett loading up a baseball w/ KFC grease?   Oh, sorry, those guys aren’t wearing Boston uniforms…or anyone else’s for that matter.

That’s because when it comes to dominating for generations rather than an isolated, aberrational year or two, there’s only one New York Yankees and there’s only one Mariano Rivera.  Our pathetic, desperate neighbors to the north know this better than anyone. If you think I’m overreacting to the least witty exhibition to come out of Boston since the last time Sully Erna opened his mouth, rest assured, I know my way around a blooper reel, too. And in the not-so-unlikely event we face these Red Sox in the 2013 postseason, I’ve already begun production on a special video montage the Fenway A/V dept. can showcase in what should could be Alex Rodriguez’ final game in Boston.  Until then, I’m tempted to say of the Red Sox, “you’re better than this,” but we all know that simply isn’t true.

yours in sustained excellence,
Randy L.

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