04.29.08

Guess Who’s Not Quite Retired…

Posted in Baseball, Blogged Down at 3:53 pm by

….from blogging? That’s right, Yard Work’s sure-thing, first ballot hall-of-famer “Rickey Henderson” (not to be confused with, er, Rickey Henderson), today weighing in on Da Edge’s expulsion from Flushing, and the continued furor over Carlos Delgado refraining from the kind of shit that had most of America hating Gary Carter once upon a time.

No doubt about it, Mets got rope-a-doped by an expansion team ” you™re telling Rickey that the best you can get for a 23-year-old kid that™s got all sorts of upside is some broke-ass catcher and a Jew-hating outfielder? Rickey™s not down with that, the trade or the bigotry. Hating Jews is like a gateway drug into more insidious and dangerous forms of racism, like hating on the black man, or the Chinese man, or even women. And the honky™s last name is Church, if you can believe that! Chump should know better! For Rickey, Church is about loving your fellow man, praising The Lord for sacrificing his only son, waking your dead ass up early Sunday morning, and getting a few quick winks during the preacher™s corny-ass sermon before heading off to IHOP for some Rooty Tooty Double Covered and Smothered action. Rickey loves the strawberry syrup more than he loves his stolen base record (and Rickey sleeps with that base every night). Anyway, Rickey calls BOOYAH on this racially-motivated trade, and hopes Lastings whups up on those jive Jew-hating chumps every chance he gets.

And speaking of racism, Rickey wants to know what the heck™s going on with Carlos Delgado? Brother cannot catch a break ” they boo him when he doesn™t hit, they boo him when he hits, and they™d boo him for ordering the #6 at Wendy™s. œBoo, Carlos Delgado! Rickey says boo! Rickey wanted you to get the Big Bacon Classic with a side of chili and a vanilla Frosty! You™re a chicken-eating chump, Carlos Delgado! Rickey supports Carlos Delgado in his telling Mets fans to go have sex with their butt-ugly sister. New York fans are nothing but chumps if they got nothing better to do than harass this beautiful, beautiful man with their stank-ass beer mouths.

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