01.01.08

Harry Pearson Rubs His Crystal Balls…

Posted in Cricket, Sports Journalism at 5:55 pm by

…and as part of his sooth-saying 2008-Stories-Composed-In-Advance for the Guardian, makes the following prediction for next December :

Gordon Brown resists calls from the opposition and some of his own backbenchers to bring the Barmy Army back from India. “These brave boys are out there fighting for all the freedoms and values we in Britain hold dear – drinking, shouting and wearing false breasts,” Brown tells the House of Commons. “To make them come home before the series has finished would be to leave a job half done and much of India still under the control of men who are unaware that Ashley Giles is the King of Spain.”

However, Conservatives claim the Barmies are being let down by the government. “They are out there in the heat and dust taking on an enemy armed with the very latest firecrackers, whistles and klaxons with nothing more than a photocopied sheet of songs about Freddie Flintoff, many of which are several years out of date,” says David Cameron. “Truly this is a case of Lions led by Donkeys or, to be more accurate, gorillas led by a pantomime cow and some cross-dressing nuns.”

One Response to “Harry Pearson Rubs His Crystal Balls…”

  1. Spil gratis says:

    Thank you for that educational, if rather distasteful, interlude.

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