09.22.08

How To Slaughter A Social Gathering, 101

Posted in Baseball, Internal Affairs, Rock Und Roll at 2:31 pm by

Late last night, the ever erudite Matt Horsehit reduced his fellow revelers to silence when offering the observation, “I’m really getting into that new Blind Melon album”. After witnessing this fantastic attempt at killing the party vibe, I wondered, what else could someone utter in a social gathering that would suck the air out of a room?

How about that Mets bullpen?”

“Man, some of that child pornography from the former Soviet Union is getting really violent!”

“The usual, Mr. Sizemore?”

By all means, give this one your best shot. In the meantime, a couple of tickets remain for tonight’s CSTB 5th Anniversary party in Section 19 of Shea Stadium’s upper deck. If you’re a Mets fan, a Cubs fan or perhaps have always wanted to spend 3 1/2 hours sitting near me (but not very near, mind you. those seats are already reserved for my security detail), this is your big chance (info@cantstopthebleeding.com)

And who knows? Much the way Reggie Jackson visited Yankee Stadium’s bleachers for the first time on Saturday, perhaps a former Mets great will grace us with his presence later this evening.  And if Jeff Innis needs to take the service elevator, who am I to begrudge him the VIP treatment?

4 Responses to “How To Slaughter A Social Gathering, 101”

  1. David Roth says:

    What GC, in his modesty, is leaving out: his security detail consists of ex-Met greats Butch Huskey and Benny Agbayani. They are paid in Hawaiian-style pizza.

  2. Bill W says:

    By sheer coincidence, I am sitting in a Sec 19 upper box tonight. With Mike Vail and George Theodore.

  3. Megan says:

    I can’t go out or anything, but one way to kill a buzz is to tell someone–someone who wears glasses and has dark hair–that she looks like Sarah Palin.

    Just sayin’.

  4. Ian says:

    My favorite (and it works every time) is to say, WAY too loud, when there’s a lull in everyone else’s conversation: “Don’t YOU try to tell ME about bestiality!” Usually good for a very strange look. Try it! It’s fun! Sorry I couldn’t make the Mets, but hey, I haven’t made any Giants games either, and I stop in front of their ballpark on the way to and from work every day, so nothin’ personal, Gerard.

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