Miami’s Diminutive Accujack Enthusiast : In Retrospect, Perhaps I Had No Idea What I Was Doing

Posted in Baseball at 7:29 pm by

It would be a colossal understatement to say the Marlins’ oft-ridiculed decision to move GM Dan Jennings from the front office to the dugout last spring turned out poorly. On Wednesday, charmless team president David Samson announced they’d be moving in fences in next season (“the thought of a left fielder jumping in the Clevelander [...]


A Rather Elaborate Effort To Send Miami’s Diminutive Accu-jack Enthusiast Packing

Posted in Baseball, Sports Journalism at 10:48 pm by

Deadspin’s Barry Petchesky reported Thursday that Marlins President David Samson — right hand man of the despised Jeffrey Loria and utter embarrassment to what’s left of Miami’s baseball fans — was the target of an orchestrated attempt to convince media (including the scooptastic New Times) that Samson had uttered racially offensive remarks concerning OF Marcel [...]


Finally, There’s Someone In The Marlins Organization With Worse P.R. Skills Than David Samson

Posted in Baseball, twitter twatter at 7:10 pm by

If you’re Miami P Jarred Cosart and you’ve previously distinguished yourself on Twitter by calling Justin Bieber a fag, what do you do for an encore? How about openly boast of a gambling jones, then claim you’ve been hacked? New Times’ Tim Elfrink provides the details : Cosart’s troubles started last night with a gambling [...]


Nitkowski : Pirates Exec Showed Poor Integtrity (In Burying Two Guys With Zero Integrity)

Posted in Baseball at 8:50 pm by

Of Marlins outfielder Giancarlo Stanton’s recent 10 year, $325 million contract extension, Pittsburgh president Frank Coonelly told Trib Live’s Rob Biertempfel that Florida aren’t sweating the details (“they thought it was a great deal,’ Coonelly said. ‘I just couldn’t get my head around the $325 million. They said to me, ‘You don’t understand. (Stanton) has [...]


New Times’ Yousefi : Stanton Megadeal Is The Begining Of The End For Jeffrey Loria In Miami

Posted in Baseball at 12:53 am by

While one observer marked Miami’s signing of Giancarlo Stanton to a 13-year, $325 million extension by recalling a time not so long ago when David Samson lectured another club about fiscal restraint, New Times’ Ryan Yousefi considers it cause for celebration, arguing that amongst other things, locking up Stanton will actually hasten owner Jeffrey Loria’s [...]


From The Desk Of Randy L. : Once Again, I’ve Got A Great Deal For The New York Mets

Posted in Baseball at 9:14 pm by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : from time to time, Bronx baseball executive Randy L. takes to CSTB to address the important issues of the day, sporting and otherwise.  After published reports this week suggested the New York Yankees would force disgraced veteran Alex Rodriguez to take the sort of spring training bus trips players of his stature [...]


Seattle’s Logan Morrison : Fuzzy On Native American History, Neglects To Mention Those High-Earning Casinos

Posted in Baseball, Racism Corner, twitter twatter at 3:39 pm by

Marlins President David Samson once suggested Logan Morrison dial down the tweeting for his own good. So thanks, LoMo, for creating a situation where I actually find myself on the same side of an issue with David fucking Samson. I’m not sure which is worse, the casual indifference to the Native American Experience or that [...]


Please Refrain From Calling Marlins Prez David Samson A Total Scumbag…

Posted in Baseball at 2:51 pm by

…because it’s downright unfair. To prophylactic manufacturers, that is. At least they serve some sort of purpose. Miami Marlins exec David Samson (above) has been a CSTB fixture for several years, whether for his penis-pump advocacy, personal fitness regiment or running interference for the worst owner in professional sports south of James Dolan. On Thursday, [...]


Logan Morrison To Critics : You’re Sexless (Or Homosexual)

Posted in Baseball, twitter twatter at 8:29 pm by

Courtesy Baseball Think Factory, former Marlins OF and recipient of Twitter-etiquette lessons from David Samson Logan Morrison celebrated his arrival in Seattle….by suggesting a social media heckler is gay. I guess,”do I come to where you work and knock the dick out of your mouth?” doesn’t work nearly as well on Twitter as it does [...]


Marlins Owner Jeffrey Loria Is Leaving All Decisions Up To His His Baseball Person (ie. Himself)

Posted in Baseball at 10:44 pm by

Over the years, there’s been no shortage of suggestions that Miami’s Jeffrey Loria (above, shown using Muhammad Ali as human shield) isn’t merely an thoroughly unpleasant person to work for, but that when it comes to integrity, he makes Fred Wilpon look like Ian MacKaye.  Now, with his Marlins playing to an empty stadium and [...]


SB Nation’s David Roth Suggests That Perhaps Just This Once, Isiah Thomas Not Be Permitted To Land On His Feet

Posted in Basketball at 5:38 pm by

The expression, “inexplicably employed” is not one I’ve used on many prior occasions.  I’ve not used it in relation to Dino Costa, David Samson, Luke Winkie, Darren Heitner or Anton Newcombe, even if the thought has crossed my mind a few times.  But with all due respect for the myriad atrocities committed by the roster [...]


Free Speech Takes A Hit At Jeffrey Loria’s Garish, Empty Playpen

Posted in Baseball, Free Expression at 3:41 pm by

Shortly after being interviewed by reporters at the Miami home opener last night, Dan Barton (above) — who’d bragged within earshot of Miami-Dade police officers of buying tickets in the parking lot to avoid lining Jeffrey Loria’s pockets —- found himself and pals persona non grata at Marlins Park.  From the Palm Beach Post’s Joe [...]


Why, Oh Why Can’t The Parents Of South Florida See Past Their Hatred Of David Samson?

Posted in Baseball, The Marketplace at 5:06 pm by

The same day his paper published a gruesome overview of the Marlins’ financial situation, the Miami Herald’s Greg Cote quizzed club president / Accu-Jack enthusiast David Samson about the overwhelming badwill he and owner Jeffrey Loria have generated in the community.  Calling the diminutive exec, “a loyal lieutenant to his boss and former stepfather,” Cote  [...]


Miami Mayor : Loria’s Added “Rapist” To His Resume

Posted in Baseball, politics, Sports Journalism, Ugly New Stadiums at 9:04 pm by

S.L. Price’s profile of Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria and chief weasel David Samson in the latest issue Sports Illustrated is unlikely to improve the public image of either ; it would be hard to think of another ownership group in U.S. professional sports who’ve so thoroughly antagonized a community. Miami Mayor Thomas Regalado, perhaps unaware [...]


Miami’s Box Office Woes – Maybe They Need A New Ballpark?

Posted in Baseball, The Marketplace, Ugly New Stadiums at 11:03 pm by

Even before their most recent fire sale, Marlins tickets weren’t hard to come by ; with the 2013 season nearing, CBS Miami’s David Sutta reports Jeffrey Loria and David Samson’s gaudy venue won’t even be full on Opening Day, with the club resorting to GroupOn with a BOGO offer. “Instead of Groupons why don’t they [...]


Miami’s Diminutive Accu-Jack Enthusiast Asks “What, Me Worry?”

Posted in Baseball at 6:55 pm by

The Miami Marlins’ Winter Warmup (formerly Fan Fest) took place over the weekend, an affair the Palm Beach Post’s Tom D’Angelo described as “sparsely attended” (kind of like a Marlins game). Team President David Samson sat atop several Dade-County Yellow Pages to declare to D’Angelo that the ballclub isn’t for sale (despite reports of Jeb [...]


The Nihilist Spasms Of Jeffrey Loria

Posted in Baseball at 4:37 am by

This past July 23, Sirius/XM’s Dino Costa assured his several dozen listeners that the Marlins’ rush to dump Anibel Sanchez and Omar Infante on Detroit was no cause for alarm and it was simply a matter of time before South Florida’s baseball fans — previously disguised as acres of empty seats —- eventually embraced Jeffrey [...]


Marlins’ Diminutive Accu-Jack Enthusiast Argues Greg Dobbs Is A More Deserving All-Star Than Bryce Harper

Posted in Baseball at 3:08 am by

There’s 11 current members of the Marlins with prior All Star Game appearances, but Tuesday night’s AL vs. NL pathetic exhibition clash won’t feature a single Miami player.  Major League Baseball tapped Nationals rookie OF Bryce Harper to replace the Fish’s indisposed Giancarlo Stanton, an edict that met with the displeasure of Marlins team president [...]


(Plenty Of) Good Seats Still Available At Jeffrey Loria’s Monument To Avarice & Greed

Posted in Baseball, The Marketplace, Ugly New Stadiums at 5:00 pm by

(that Marlins ticket sales have experienced at least a single digit jump since this photo was taken can mean only one thing — a gold-plated dildo for David Samson) Did the modest turnout for Miami’s first-ever victory at newly opened Marlins Park have anything to do with the furor over Ozzie Guillen’s recent pro-Castro remarks?  [...]


Marlins To Their Little Havana Neighbors : Suck Our Dust

Posted in Baseball, Ugly New Stadiums at 2:38 pm by

Days after Marlins president David Samson climbed atop a stack of telephone books to fire back at critics of his club’s sweetheart stadium deal, residents of Little Havana are telling the Miami Herald’s Melissa Sanchez, “they feel let down by promises that they’d somehow benefit from the taxpayer-subsidized project.” “It’s been one deception after another,” [...]


Marlins Prez / Diminutive Accu-Jack Enthusiast : Local Politicians Are Stupid (Unless They’re Bending Over For My Boss)

Posted in Baseball, politics, Ugly New Stadiums at 6:33 pm by

If you have a problem with Jeffrey Loria and club president David Samson (above) sticking Miami-Dade County taxpayers with a more than half billion dollar tab for the construction of the Marlins’ new ballpark — or with former Mayor Carlos Alvarez losing his office as a result of said sweetheart deal — Samson would like [...]


You Can Stop Looking Over Your Shoulder, Buster Olney ; Logan Morrison Doesn’t Really Want Your Job

Posted in Anti-Semitism, Baseball, twitter twatter at 9:46 pm by

For the first and perhaps last time in history, I find myself in agreement with David Samson.  Logan Morrison’s Twitter addiction needs to be dealt with.


The SEC Is Doing Their Part To Mess With Jose Reyes’ Primary Suitors

Posted in Baseball, The Law, The Marketplace, Ugly New Stadiums at 6:11 pm by

Could the city of Miami, Miami-Dade County and the Florida Marlins have conspired to knowingly portray the baseball franchise as financially floundering when in fact, they’ve profited  from baseball’s revenue sharing (and their own skinflint ways) en route to securing public financing for their new glittering ballpark?  That’s what the Securities & Exchange Commission hopes [...]


McCourt New’s Defense : I Might Suck, But At Least I’m Not Jeffrey Loria

Posted in Baseball, The Law, The Marketplace at 5:46 pm by

“A Club owner must be well-capitalized and cannot use the team as a personal ‘cash cow,’ ” – that’s the gist of Bud Selig’s argument that Frank McCourt is no longer entitled to be owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers, and given McCourt’s history of using the Dodgers to supplement his lifestyle, it’s hard to [...]


The Hunt For A New Scapegoat Begins In Miami

Posted in Baseball at 6:13 pm by

Marlins manager Edwin Rodriguez (above), mindful of his team’s 1-18 slide into last place in the NL East, tendered his resignation early Sunday, a move it seems no one in club ownership tried to talk him out of.  In the view of the Palm Beach Post’s Greg Stoda, “the Marlins have nobody but themselves to [...]