What does Elvis Crespo have to do with anything ordinarily discussed on this site? Nothing, really. The merengue star had a song on MLB Caliente, a Major League Baseball “presented” collection of Latin hits. Per this bio, he apparently wanted to be a baseball player growing up in Puerto Rico. But his alleged conduct on a flight between Houston and Miami earlier today is at least newsworthy enough to bump Neil Allen — known as Goddamned Neil Allen around my house when I was little — down the page a bit. The Associated Press, masters of deadpan data-based hilarity, reports:
Crespo is being investigated after a woman said she saw him performing a sex act on an airplane en route from Houston to Miami, according to Miami-Dade County police.
The Grammy winner was masturbating in view of other passengers Thursday, prompting the plane’s captain to radio the Miami International Airport’s air traffic control tower, the police report said.
Officers interviewed Crespo upon his arrival but did not arrest him. No charges have been filed. When asked by police at the airport about the accusation, the 37-year-old Puerto Rican singer said: ”I don’t recall doing that.”
According to the police report, 52-year-old Patricia Perea of Canyon Gate, Texas, told police she was sitting next to the singer of the hit song ”Suavemente.” She said that about 15 minutes after the plane left Houston, Crespo covered himself with a blanket and began to masturbate, then exposed himself.
I know Crespo’s official line is that he forgot whether or not he actually did this, but I’d really love to know if he has an explanation for why he waited until the plane reached cruising altitude to do the thing. Thanks (I guess?) to David Williams for the link.