09.04.12

Mets Mouthpiece Mex Mulls Trashing His ‘Stache

Posted in Baseball, The Marketplace at 4:27 pm by

KISS without makeup.   City streets without pay telephones. Josh Hamilton without a needle in his arm.  These are all things we’ve had to get used to at one time or another, but is our society really prepared to contemplate SNY’s Keith Hernandez without a mustache?  Telling the New York Times’ Richard Sandomir that his godfucking awful entertaining commercials alongside Walt Frazier for Just For Men came to end because, “they said our ads were stale,” Keith might be ready to part with his iconic facial hair for the first time in years (““I don’t want to draw attention to it…I’ll do it, and whoever’s watching the game will see it”)

Hernandez once kept a stockpile of Just for Men to comply with his contract, which said he had to appear on-air fully dyed. Two executives monitored Mets games to be sure he did not turn into Mr. Gray. He still has a few boxes left, but he isn’t using it.

The result is visible: with each passing Mets broadcast on SNY, the mustache has grown considerably grayer. Sometimes the mustache is more interesting than the game.

“I’m not totally happy with the gray,” he said. “It’s something I have to get used to. I have more people, on the female side, who tell me they prefer it gray.”

So, he must have surmised, there would be some play for Mr. Gray.

He would not say how long he would keep the mustache off if he indeed shaved it. He recalled getting accustomed to being without it when Rapp banned facial hair like his.

Still, Hernandez would not mind if Just for Men sent the goateed baby to his crib and summoned him for hair-dyeing relief. Just give him a month to grow his mustache back.

One Response to “Mets Mouthpiece Mex Mulls Trashing His ‘Stache”

  1. Spike Vrusho says:

    Osama Bin Laden had a nice stockpile of that shit, too, but I’m pretty sure he never robbed Willie Stargell of half an MVP trophy.

Leave a Reply