11.26.07

Michael Redd – (Almost) The Modern A.C. Green

Posted in Basketball at 9:38 pm by

Maybe you were already aware the Bucks were in first place in the Eastern Conference’s Central Division. And perhaps you’ve noticed the improved physical condition of Milwaukee F Michael Redd. But did you know that (in the words of ESPN The Magazine’s Chris Broussard), Redd was “celibate for three-and-a-half years before he tied the knot in August 2006?”

Honeys knocked on his door at 2 a.m., followed him to his car after games and left seductive messages on his phone, but through it all he was faithful, to his Lord and to his future wife, Achea. His teammates thought he was crazy.

“You gay, man?” they asked. “Scared?”

Once they realized he was neither, they got behind his decision.

“We used to joke with Mike about it,” guard Mo Williams says. “But we never doubted him because of how he carries himself. He’s so sincere you can’t help but respect him 100 percent.”

Although he got off to a rocky start in the weight room last season, Redd is now obsessed with fitness. Gone are the meat-topped pizzas, the soul food, the burgers, the candy, the popcorn, the soda, the late-night meals of pasta and bread.

And that has meant the end to the Oliver Miller jokes. “It’s good not to hear those anymore,” Redd says.

Not so fast, there’s always time for Oliver Miller jokes. Of hefty Knicks Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph, Hoopsworld‘s Mike “The Island Of Dr.” Moreau writes, “You guys are both overweight “ this is your fault. Both of you need to lose those five bags of sugar you are carrying around in your uniforms. You will room together on the road with our new assistant coaches: Jared Fogle and Clay Henry from Subway.”

I guess this wouldn’t be a great time to tell Mike about the Chocolageddon.

Randolph scored 28 for the Knicks tonight in a 113-109 home win over Utah.  Though Deron Williams suffered the indignity of being outdueled by Stephon Marbury, he can take some consolation in knowing he’ll soon return to a region where one can be married to Jeanne Tripplehorn and Chloe Sevigny at the same time.

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