We’re two days away from the very first Brooklyn Nets regular season home game, and what better time could there be for the New York Post’s Steve Serby to interrogate Gerald Wallace Avery Johnson Tornike Shengelia owner Mikhail Prokhorov? In Serby’s not-quite-extensive Q&A we learn (amongst other things) that Prokhorov’s ideal mate is “beautiful, smart, sexy and makes a mean bowl of borscht.”

Q: Best piece of advice your mother or father gave you.

A: It’s a long story, but basically I had written an essay in school about wanting to grow up to be a Red Army commander, because I’d seen in a film how well they ate and, as I was in the middle of a growth spurt, I was hungry all the time. The school called in my parents and asked them why they weren’t feeding their child. They were aghast. At that point my parents told me: “It’s bad to lie, but you don’t have to tell everybody everything.” They made me re-write my essay to say I wanted to grow up to be a cosmonaut.