09.24.08

MLB’s Reigning Sexual Libertine Hangs Up His Spikes…

Posted in Baseball at 7:00 pm by

…and sadly, I’m not refering to Paulie Go Nuts.  Tigers reliever Todd Jones informed readers of his Sporting News Magazine (the publication with significantly fewer readers than The Sporting Blog), “it’s been a great ride, but it’s time to stay home.” (link swiped from Repoz and Baseball Think Factory). Being neither a Tigers fan nor someone who watches a ton of AL games in person, Jones’ decision to retire strikes me as less of a baseball tragedy and more of a loss for persons looking for easy blog content several times a year.  From CSTB, June 15, 2005 :

Florida reliever Todd Jones has long been CSTB’s journalistic hero.  His old as-told-to columns for The Sporting News showed yours truly that if a big, burly dude like Todd wasn’t ashamed of flaunting his learning disabilities and backwards sexual politics in public, I’d have to get a lot bigger and burlier if I wanted to manage the same thing.

Tonight while on a fact finding mission at Chicago’s Wrigley Field, I had the opportunity to observe Jones up close and personal.  While sitting alongside the Marlins bullpen, I spied Todd bringing autographed baseballs to a couple of heavily made up / perfumed individuals sitting a few seats to my right.  I’ve long heard that signing autographs during the game was forbidden (or so Red Sox backup catcher Bob Montgomery claimed many years ago), and as much as I’d like to credit Todd for being a nice guy, I hate to break it to him that both of these girls had penises.   What’s more, since we’re in Illinois, I’m pretty sure they weren’t married to each other.

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