08.24.06

My ‘Hood’s Local Nightlife Scene, Eviscerated

Posted in non-sporting journalism, Tourism at 11:43 am by

between blog mania, the ease of making a website and the general reluctance on the part of the publc to read something that doesn’t have pretty pictures of AFI, we’re not exactly living in the golden age of ‘zines.  Every now and then, however, there’s sentiment expressed, in print, that oughta be shared.  From vol. 2, issue 2 of Austin, TX’s Misprint

Nowhere in Austin (aside from 6th street…or 4th street…or Red River…) can one find more douchebaggotry-per-square foot than in this block of clubs. A scenester fashion hellhole, The Whiskey Bar hosts bands with faux-hawks and chicks dressed like dudes from 1987. The Rainbow Cattle Company is a gay cowboy bar full of guys attempting to two-step and chicks dressed like dudes from 1994. Finally, there’s Foundation, an imitation-upscale dance club, where the chicks dress like your average Whiskey Bar girl did before she discovered The Bravery.

These three bars share a too-short stretch of sidewalk. But despite profoundly different patronc, it sometimes seems like we should just knock down the walls to make one giant, yet lame, club.

Droog-friendly milk bar Oslo recently rebranded itself as the “Hi-lo”, a new, high-concept shit-stain on the face of Austin nightlife that stinks of cocksuckery so badly I can smell it from my loft-like apartment. The front half is a your standard west sixth  yuppie lounge, while the back has been painstakingly converted to resemble what Houston restauranteurs think Austin dive bars look like. They’ve imported gallons of urine and are even hosting some shitty bands, but the end result  is more T.G.I. Friday’s than The Continental.

Wow.  That’s Hi-lo off the list of places for the CSTB Fantasy Draft, then.  I wonder if they take reservations at Luby’s?

2 Responses to “My ‘Hood’s Local Nightlife Scene, Eviscerated”

  1. kt says:

    as of yesterday my draft was slated to start at 5 am. as much fun as i hope to have this year there’s no way in hell i’ll be up that early. another year of having the computer draft my team, the strangulated handoffs will be fucked again.

  2. josh says:

    If your serious about a CTSB fantasy draft and you have space, count me in.

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