07.26.08

Night Of The Living Heitners : One Tourist’s Vegas Nightmare

Posted in Internal Affairs, Tourism at 6:25 pm by

(conditions at CSTB’s resort of choice leave a bit to be desired. Tonight’s entertainment headliner : TBA)

While on a periodic fact-finding mission in Las Vegas that just happens to coincide with the Cotto/Margarito bout (and Friday’s blatant demonstration that Team Nike USA are at the very least, one of the best teams in North America), I’ve learned a few things. Hardly revelations, mind you, but bona fide discoveries for a sheltered character like myself.

a) I went to my hotel’s barber this morning and he was dressed as Wayne Newton.  No, thank you. I badly need a haircut, but I’m not gonna partonize a Wayne Newton impersonator who doubles as a barber.  (if this was in fact, Wayne Newton, I suppose I apologize).

b) You’re all familiar with Hot Chicks With Douchebags, right?  Nowhere on the site is there a disclaimer explaining every one of their photographs was shot in Las Vegas.

c) if a showroom can get away with charging $63 to see Jim Gaffigan, Neil Hamburger should command at least $100 a head, plus an additional $50 if you’d like to leave the show early.

d) I guess Roy Horn hasn’t fully recovered yet.

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